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hey it's your boy Mike The Situation Santino welcome to statute of limitations it's the ultimate lineup
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it's Cooks this is not my fault that I stole this car it's coming this is my
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chance I can be rich for life it's w to be kingpins we all made together $500,000 and queen pins it was basically
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a lounge of criminals these are stories of the nonviolent lucky punks and Robin hoods
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that Dodge the law I could have gone to prison not jail prison because here's
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the situation baby it's only a matter of time before the statute of limitations
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is up and technically you might walk away scotf free but don't take it from me guys I'm obviously no lawyer this is
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statute of limitations what's up everybody I'm Mike The Situation Santino welcome to the
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show where average folks talk about their over-the-top crimes they committed way back with on this episode of statute
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of limitations you'll see a goody two shoes wannabe congresswoman who committed a crime out of Gone in 60
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Seconds and a dude whose crime can be best described as Toy Story he stole from the rich and gave to the poor meets
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our Robin Hood Nam Dave check it out hello my name is Dave and I committed a plethora of crimes see there
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was Computer Fraud Grand larsoning and just for a good measure a little bit of trespassing for for 20 years I've been
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waiting and waiting to talk about all these crimes that I committed and now I'm going to tell you all about
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it so I was in college I was super broke and so every year I would get a seasonal
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job working at one of the big box toy stores which had like electronics and TVs and Cabbage Patch Kids you name it
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so this store like at the time minimum wage was like nothing it was like maybe four bucks and they would put you down
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to work all the hours like my work schedule just said December and like even with overtime it
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was like six bucks so they like great thanks I can super siize my fries now so you get super bitter super fast you're
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not making any money they're super super cruel to these kids by jacking up these
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prices like astronomically so this company is like making money hand over fist like these
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families are like emptying their pocketbooks for like the next hot thing they're just going broke just trying to
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make make their kids happy for the holidays you know Dad's out in the parking lot doing like $3 scratchers
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like Hing like you know Christmas is coming up what am I going to do it was driving me
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nuts and then I came up with the best idea I got a chance to fix this I figured out a way for everybody to get
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everything they wanted for the holidays especially me so this place during the holidays total chaos like trucks coming
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in boxes flying everywhere it was complete Madness nobody had any idea where anything
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was so remember this is like a terrible neighborhood and there were like abandoned buildings everywhere like
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empty warehouses and whatnot and at the time I just started tinkering around with computers and I realized if I went
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into the system and just changed a couple numbers I could take entire shipments and redirect them to anywhere
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I wanted I could redirect those trucks and have them deliver all all those boxes to one of those empty
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warehouses so before I sent an entire shipment somewhere I decided to take one video game console and have it sent just
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to test it out it worked perfectly nobody had any idea after that I was like what else can
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I get away with so it started with one video game console and then it went to like two boxes five boxes a van a big
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old truck they're like what else can I do can I do an entire like ship coming
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in from China I figured sooner or later somebody was going to figure this out so every
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single shipment was like down to a science for like in out a single hour never use the same place twice fake name
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like Alro like the guys who brought it in like the truckers whatever they're
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like why are these guys hurrying so much but whatever they're truckers they're
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busy too I mean some of the truckers were actually helping us unload the boxes themselves until one guy like looking at
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it's kind of funny so I slipped him a game console he never said a word so it was crazy it was like kind of
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fun in the beginning a little sneaky like one little Xbox and all of a sudden I'm like renting the apartment next to
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mine filling it full of boxes my own placees filled with boxes got like stolen goods everywhere they're like
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flying in I mean I was careful but I was totally Fearless like nobody's ever
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going to catch me at a certain point I was looking around like I think I've got
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over $100,000 worth of the stuff I could have gone to prison not jail prison this
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is getting too big too fast completely out of control and sooner or later somebody's going to
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talk I was pretty sure some of the other people I work with were catching on by the way all this time I'm supposed to be
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doing my regular job like as I'm stealing like half the store I'm also in
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the store working for these people doing my regular job and then one day I show up to the office and there
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are two guys in Shir and TI who I don't know totally freaked out like this is
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it oh snap DA's got the suits in Pursuit right now and if you've ever shoplifted
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not saying that I have ever personally maybe I have maybe I haven't but I can
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tell you that store security they don't play okay this dude is in way over his
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head stealing toys he's got a situation let's see how this plays out next on
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statute of limitations we're back with statute of limitations our man Dave is working a
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holiday gig decided to stuff his stocking with a warehouse full of game consoles but with security hot on his
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heels it might just be a wrap listen security is always watching okay guys check check this
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out at a certain point I was looking around like I think I've got over $100,000 worth of the stuff I was pretty
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sure some of the other people I work with were catching on and then one day I show up to the office and there are two
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guys in Shir and TI who I don't know totally freaked out like this is it the
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store holds an entire staff meeting they bring us all in and they're not exactly like pointing the finger at
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anyone but they were saying all this stuff is going missing we got to figure this out and that's
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when things completely went off the rails I was starting to totally freak out I was like had crazy anxiety
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couldn't sleep totally terrified was like looking over my shoulder it just got completely out of control just when
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I thought it couldn't get any worse the assistant manager pulls me aside out of
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the blue and says the manager thinks somebody stealing a bunch of stuff by changing all the stuff in the computer
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system and I Reed out I was like I don't know anything that's crazy I I'll keep
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my eye out meanwhile the second he left I went into the computers and just nuked
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everything I just like delete delete delete delete delete like trying to erase all traits of anything i'
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done here's the good news they all thought I was an idiot so they never suspected me what's going
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on I I dropped my contact on the floor here's a great thing about not always
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coming off that smart people think you're not smart enough to get away with that kind of
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stuff I don't regret a thing but this was the stupidest thing I could have possibly done and if you ever think that
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you should do anything like this don't because it will actually mess with your
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mind for the rest of your life and that's how I got away with all those CRI nobody got hurt I mean the company went
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out of business but like it's a company but all the people they got hooked up
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and if you want to get up I still have a bunch of boxes in my house and why am I
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talking like this yo Dave's number should be 1 1800 lucky Cho because he could have gotten
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12 long years in prison I wonder if he has the old school techmobile what an amazing game that was check out this
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crime committed by a one-time Sorority Girl in Arizona from an innocent stylish Sorority Girl to a not so innocent
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criminal whose style could have been an orange jumpsuit meet Christine my name is Christine and in
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2010 I was a college student in Phoenix Arizona and I took Grand Theft Auto to the next
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level I was a polyi major and I was really into Student Government I was an activist or I thought I was my dream was
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to be a congresswoman I had a picture of Elizabeth Warren on my wall in my dorm room I was very very much into it I was
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in a sority I won't say which one and I went to my sority sisters and I said
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we've got to do something other than party once in a while can we please go to this women's March and I kind of told
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some of them it was a good networking opportunity too so I was able to get all of the s 4 sisters together this was
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around midterms so we were really exhausted and tired but I really wanted us to go to this March we stayed up
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really late the night before the March and know we ran to the store we got all the supplies poster board we got markers
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we got paint and we were making a ton of signs and I was exhausted we were all exhausted and my best friend Brit who
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was also my sority sister was like well you know I have some Aderall and I can maybe share it with you I've never done
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ad all before never took any kind of pickme up before so I thought well what's the harm you know I'm really
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tired and she said yeah it's just like a couple cups of coffee you'll be fine so
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I said okay give me one so she gives me one and and that kept me going through the whole night we made all kinds of
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signs equal pay equal rights equal pay for women we went all out for the March and the next morning it was pretty
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early and we've gathered all of the signs and everything to go to the March and we all get into a couple different
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Vans and we go to the March and she offers me another adderal and I took it and we were all just completely hyped up
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so we get to the March everyone's chanting we have all of our signs we are just kind of getting a little bit Rowdy
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and as we're going down the March we see actually some of the fraternity guys
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they found out we were going to be there went there to heckle us so they're yelling at us we're yelling back some of
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my shorty sisters are like flipping them off they're getting just totally angry
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so we're totally hyped up and and it was really great but then up ahead we see
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like all of this commotion we see like Signs like people are getting like we could just hear a lot of people shouting
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all of a sudden I see these flashing lights red blue red blue red blue and I am freaking out of course because it's
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the police and then I just hear a lot of shouting and I really realized like people are getting shoved and pushed and
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I'm starting to freak out and then I noticed my sority sisters are freaking out and they start like pushing and
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shoving and all of a sudden I'm just in the middle of like this complete commotion so there's a million people
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and I see the police coming and they're arresting people and I'm freaking out
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okay because if I get arrested you know there goes all my dreams of being a congresswoman and I am so scared so I
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grab grit and I'm like we got to get out of here you know and we just take off
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running I'm pushing people out of the way um I'm I'm running through the crowd
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and we find this alley and we duck down the alley and as we're running down the
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alley and I'm I'm breathing heavy I'm basically hyperventilating at this point
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and then a cop car pulls up at the end of the alley and we duck behind a dumpster because and I'm just I'm
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crouched behind the dumpster and I'm like oh my God oh my God you know I don't I don't want to go to
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[Music] jail the two of these police officers jump out of the police car to I guess
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Chase someone and they leave the doors open so I don't know if it was the excitement or the Aderall or what but I
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stupidly think I'm going to run to the police car I'm just going to jump in I
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start running Brit's yelling what are you doing and I'm like get in the car
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get in the car and um so we we jump in the car and we we shut the doors and I I couldn't
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believe it but they actually left the keys in there which look this is not my fault that I
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stole this car they left the keys in right so anyway I turn on the car and I and I and I just take off because I just
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want to get out of there so I floored the gas and I was gone and then I'm driving down the street and BRD goes you
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stole a cop car you stole a cop car and I'm like duh I know I know and then I
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don't know what to do she's like we got to we got to we got to get out of the
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car and I'm like we can't get out of the car now someone's going to see us and so
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I pull up and I flip on everything that I could find the sirens start going off and I'm just driving and driving and
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she's like where are you going and I'm like I don't know Brit's like well maybe
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we should pull over you know on the side of the road here maybe we should pull over um in front of this 7-Eleven and
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I'm like are you crazy there's you know cameras everywhere and I'm we're we're
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just driving and driving Ding and you know I noticed you know all the lights and everything sort of seemed like it
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was in slow motion like um I wasn't even really there like it was a movie or
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something you know like we were Thelma and Louise all of a sudden Brit yells at me and she's like who slow down you know
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and I almost ran a stop sign as if it mattered that I ran a stop sign at that point and it finally dawned on us we
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have to get rid of this car because otherwise we're going to jail for the rest of our lives
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yo Christine sori letters should be GTA Grand Theft Auto she stole a cop car and now she's in a rush to make a
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getaway the story ships into high gear when we return on statute of limitations next welcome back to statute of
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limitations Christine a soror girl and he wnab be lawmaker has turned into a full-on law breaker she stole a cop car
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and I know the cops like eating Donuts but I don't think they like people doing
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donuts especially in their police car right now she's going to get out of this
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Jam I don't know guys we're going to have to check this out we're just driving and driving and
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you know I noticed you know all the lights and everything sort of seemed like it was in slow motion like um I
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wasn't even really there like it was a movie or something you know like we were
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thma and Louise all of a sudden Brit yells at me and she's like wao slow down
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you know and I almost ran a stop sign as if it mattered that I ran a stop sign at
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that point and it finally dawned on us we have to get rid of this car because otherwise we're going to jail for the
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rest of our lives Now Phoenix is kind of a weird city right so it's all of these
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big developments and you're driving and then all of a sudden you're just in the
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desert so we're driving up this like really little rocky like Road it wasn't
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even really a road at that point it was mostly you know dirt and sand and gravel
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and I see this rock formation up ahead so I decide I'm going to pull around that and we're going to park there we
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pull up and we park and we open the doors and I stick my head out of the door and I'm looking around and all I
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see is like cacti and we both you know crawl down out of the car and we like craw all in our bellies like maybe 10 ft
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before we actually stand up and we are covered in sand and dirt and then we start walking and walking and it is the
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desert and it is Arizona and we are dripping with sweat we had like one little water bottle between the two of
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us we walked for hours I swear I saw an oasis with a palm tree I'm getting completely sunburned and Brit's face was
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a mess I noed a vulture was circling us so I was like um we're going to die out
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here I want to cry but there's no more tears left cuz I was totally dehydrated
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we finally make it back to campus and I am red as a beat and I decide I have to like hide out so I'm lying in bed that
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night after I stoble the cop car and I my skin is on fire I threw a ton of aloe all over my myself and I'm just laying
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there and then I realized I wasn't wearing gloves so they could find my fingerprints so I text Brit and I was
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like come here now so she came over and I said we have to go back and she's like
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are you crazy you never go back to the scene of the crime and I was like well we have to we're driving through every
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pile of sand looks the same and I finally see a rock formation that I think looks pretty familiar so I say
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Brit that's it that's it it's got to be be it so we drive up this little Hill
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and we go around the rock formation and there's the car and I was like thank you
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nobody has found the car yet I can't even believe it was still there it was crazy we wiped off every inch of that
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cop car and I I mean I probably went over it like three or four times because I was so paranoid I was like we you know
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we're going to get caught so we did that and I was trying to think did did I
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leave you know did I leave my d a anywhere was there was did I leave a hair follicle you know I watched a lot
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of True Crime so so we get back to the door room and I made her swear you can never tell anyone about this so sorry
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Brit I told someone about this but yeah and then I waited in my dorm room with my fingers crossed hoping that you know
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they did not find any fingerprints or I don't know DNA or something like that
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and um yeah they didn't and no one said anything to me I couldn't believe it I
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was just so thankful and uh Brit never said anything to anyone I never said anything to anyone and we kind of all
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just pretended it didn't happen but I never went back to another women's March
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and I just kind of laid low at school for the rest of my time there so I never went into politics I'm not that much of
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a criminal I'm in marketing and advertising and that's my story so in the end Christine and the
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Machine were both okay thanks to Arizona statute of limitations if she ever runs
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for office she's got big daddy s's vote that does it for this episode of the
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show I like the situation satino hope you all learned a valuable lesson today which is if you commit the crime just
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don't get caught genius right we've got plenty more incredible stories coming
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your way you got the time well we got the crime guys see you in the next installment of statute of limitations
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peace we out this program is for entertainment purposes only and it is not legal advice
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the statute of limitations are complicated and depend on many factors if you need advice you should seek legal
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counsel from a competent attorney in your jurisdiction [Music] [Music] [Music] yeah
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[Music] yeah