00:00:06
in a remote coastal town in Cornwall in the southwest of England 32-year-old Kirby noden
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vanished she was never found her boyfriend Dean low had killed her Dean had smashed kby around the head
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with the rock with such force that it had shattered into pieces they were together such a long time she must have
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loved him she must have in some weird way how on Earth do you do what Dean did which was to dismember that body and
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dispose of it and then to carry on living as if nothing had happened Dean and Kirby although they had a chaotic
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relationship I always believed that they loved each other and that they were made
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for each other you don't do that to somebody and expect people to still see you as human you're a monster Dean was
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perceived as the nightmare of the family I still care about him family is important and we were all close as kids
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and family's family isn't it [Music] [Music] on April 23rd 2018 Dean low was put on
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trial at Truro Crown Court for the murder of his long-term girlfriend Kirby noden I'm Lucy Clark Billings and I'm a
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journalist I covered this case at the time the atmosphere in court was incredibly sad I thought I was going to
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report on a case that would be very gruesome and very Grizzly but I had absolutely no idea I was going to be
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listening to this Kirby had been murdered using blunt trauma her body had laay there for a
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couple of days and then he'd made a decision that he had to get rid of her body and he made the decision that the
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easiest way to dispose of Kirby would be for him to dismember her despite confessing to the murder
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both to Rebecca and other family members and to the police off officer at the scene of the crime Dean shocked Everyone
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by pleading not guilty his defense in court was that k and a gentleman that she was seeing had come and filled
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colostomy bags full of Kirby's blood and spray these colostomy bags all around
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the room and then they had raped him and then moved to South Africa together I have absolutely no idea where
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where it's come from that was one of the strangest things I've ever reported on it wasn't just the
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murder itself which was awful to witness and awful to report on but it was this fantasy thread that went through the
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whole trial him claiming it was all a big setup and that Kirby was at fault it's probably just a drug induced
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fantasy that he's had maybe to try and help himself deal with what he's done
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perhaps his mental health was so poor and his drug use had been so prolific for so long that he wasn't in touch with
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reality anymore and he had no idea what he was doing didn't think that anything like
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that would ever happen within my family it's a bizarre situation to be in Dean low was born in 19 1985 and grew
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up in the county of chesher just 45 minutes outside of Manchester my name is Raa Tilford and
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I'm Dean Lo's cousin he's my older cousin by 3 years Dean and I grew up about an hour
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and a half away from each other but we were together quite regularly I'd go and stay with my nana
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during school holidays and he'd come and stay with our Nana as well my biggest memories of Dean is in being
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a big character protective loud he always into Mischief he wasn't the best behaved but he had a good heart down
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below we were quite a close-nit family we always made the effort to uh all get together these photos are from one of my
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Fondest Memories that I've actually got with Dean and the called old man used to
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come and deliver call for the fires so Dean being The Cheeky little lad he was was like come on should we get in there
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managed to break into the cold Scuttle and uh we were just absolutely covered in cold dust and Manana was looking
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after us at the time so she wasn't very happy with the cleaning that needed doing
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[Music] afterwards Dean had quite a troubled start in life and he was taken into
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foster care when he was just a few months old as a child Dean was actually quite funny outgoing the class
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clown as a child he was the naughty one I can remember he took me swimming once and he was like hold your breath
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under the water for as long as you can so I held my breath under the water for as long as I can and then when I started
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to come back up he pushed me back under the water and like held me there it's one of the memories that I'll
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always have growing up that just didn't sit right really but [Music] another person close to Dean was Kirby
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noden she actually knew Dean from when she was very young their parents were friends so they grew up in the same sort
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of crowds went to the same sort of schools when they were 14 that's when they started dating for the first
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time they did spend the of the time together on the park that we used to hang around on she she absolutely
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idolized him she really did he was a world like even back then when we were young she just yeah she just loved
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him you could tell that straight away it's that first real serious relationship as teenagers where Kirby's
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really infatuated there's this real first flush of first love that means so much to both
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of them at this point Kirby was a lovely young girl you could go to Kirby and tell her anything and she wouldn't judge
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her she wouldn't tell anybody I was close friends with her yeah I thought the world of her she's been described as
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funny quite quiet artistic and fun to be around Dean on the other hand was more of a wild child child he had more of a
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outgoing personality and this is something that I think Kirby was attracted to [Music]
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Kirby was nothing like Dean Kirby was just so innocent and kind and lovely around the age of 14 Dean started
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to experiment with drugs smoking cannabis he was making cangs so he like got a can and poked holes in it and he
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was doing that under a bridge and I'm thinking wow like what the hell Dean's Behavior also started to
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become more aggressive to others my uncle gave me a call and said look is there any chance Dean can come and stay
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with you for a couple of weeks I need him to get out of the way he's had a fight with somebody and he's bit
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somebody's nose off I was absolutely shocked and mortified yes cuz that's not the kind of
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behavior that I'd used to be around there's a component of real aggression and violence and a way of of
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of expelling that level of energy onto something or someone in order for him to feel to feel better to feel a
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sense of relief Dean and Kirby from about 14 to 20 this was a very onag again off again
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relationship sometimes they were together and things were great sometimes they were apart and not in contact as
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much they did spit up for a while and then Kirby got with somebody else [Music] with Kirby out of his life Dean felt
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lost and at the age of 25 he committed another violent act this time much closer to
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home there was an incident with a close female family member getting cheated on by her partner and she expressed
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feelings of hurt to Dean and Dean in his eyes whether he thought he was protecting this family member or not he
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he went to the extreme of going round to this guy's house and he stabbed him with
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a screwdriver and then when this guy was passed out on the floor from the screwdriver Dean put a Telly on his head
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and walked out of the situation he seems to show little to no remorse empathy he finds a way to
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justify his very aggressive very violent Behavior I think in Dean's man he thought he was using violence to protect
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people yes very very extreme violence for the scenario but I think in his mind he he thought he was doing the right
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[Music] thing Kirby had had a child with another partner while away from Dean but things
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had not worked out in 2010 Dean and Kirby got back together they referred to one another as
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their soulmates this was a couple who were incredibly invested in each other she
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knew he had his troubles but they really really were in it together and they felt
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as though it was them against the world although they had a chaotic relationship I always believed that they
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loved each other and that they were made for each other they were happy they had a child
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together after that child was born there was a few issues and the baby got taken
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away by Social Services by this time Dean's drug taking had sped out of control it was something he started
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doubling in when he was a teenager and then it escalated as he reached his 20s Kirby was concerned with the level
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of heroin use on Dean's part it wasn't long before Kirby was also taking hard
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drugs I know Dean would experiment with anything I think Kirby was more led by Dean in that respect though
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[Music] Dean and Kirby were leading a nomadic lifestyle they were already involved in
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drugs heroin they enjoyed it and no matter where they went the people around them they always knew where to get drugs
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from so their lifestyle suited them they were living together but they were living on the
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streets this is someone who she really trusted she really believed that he'd
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look after her she was willing to sort of leave everything behind to follow this man because she loved and cared
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about him so deeply in 2011 Dean low and Kirby noden were homeless and addicted to
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drugs they decided to leave their home county of chesher and move 250 M away to Devon I have absolutely no idea why they
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picked Devon I mean it's not somewhere that he ever went a lot as a child um
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nor Kirby as far as I'm aware I just think it was probably the furthest place
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they could go to to get away from everything Dean's Foster mother had died Dean's dad had died and an Anna had died
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at that point as well so there was nobody else for Dean in cheser though they were hundreds of
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miles apart Rebecca stayed in touch with her cousin and close friend Kirby often chatting with her
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online it was the most consistent way of being able to keep in contact with them
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they didn't have the mobile phones for very long they never really had a fixed
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address it was just sofas and doorways and wherever they were I do believe that Kirby could have gone home whenever she
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wanted but Kirby didn't want to leave Dean they seem quite happy with their little life that they had going on there
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there were these brief glimmers of hope maybe what their life could be like if they were to get clean and be happy
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together and that can keep you with the wrong person for a very long time their drug addiction became their
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daily fixation there were three people in that relationship because it was Dean Kirby
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and the drugs that the drugs were always were ever present in their relationship
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and it's what sort of kept them together as well that struggle the sort of the
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highs and the lows Kirby had messaged me quite a few times saying that she tried to get clean
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of the heroine but that she was struggling because Dean was still so far into it I was worried about them and the way
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that they were living but I knew there's nothing that I could have done to to
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have changed that so just just tried to check in on them as much as I could in 2012 the couple got help from a drug
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addiction charity and managed to wean themselves off heroin for a while before relapsing and starting on other
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drugs synthetic drugs cause your mind to lose reality and you can't separate the reality from
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what is happening in your mind your hallucinations are as real as if it was happening they had a very erratic
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chaotic way of living so one day they could be out walking the dogs the next day they could be high on drugs and and
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causing trouble in 2013 Dean and Kirby made their way to the neighboring County of Cornwall where
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they moved around different towns sometimes living off the streets or in a shelter
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my name is Ellie Jared Hart and I was an old neighbor of Kirby and Dean in Lone Ellie aged 19 moved into the
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apartment beneath them and remembers meeting Kirby she was very bubbly very Northern
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big smile kindhearted I thought I didn't understand why she was with Dean he didn't see seemed like he was
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all there at all the whole time I lived there I hardly spoke to him Ellie soon became friends with Kirby
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who now seemed to want a more normal life but Dean had other ideas Kirby wanted her daughter back um
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and she wanted to go to work and earn some money and she get off the drugs essentially within 3 weeks of me sort of
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moving in in I would hear him beating her at night Kirby would be screaming crying and one thing that Dean used to
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say quite a lot was I end you I will end you I struggled with that quite a lot and I did go up there and confront him a
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couple of times things now with Kirby and Dean seem to have taken a very dark turn
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fueled by by the increasing amounts of drugs and alcohol that they are both taking when someone's got that level of
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control over you scared of what they're going to do the repercussions what if you you do leave
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you know what if you try to leave and something happens in one instance Dean's violent
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Behavior was brought into Ellie's home I hair the door upstairs and I hear them screaming and Kirby come down the
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stairs and it just sounded like a rumble down the stairs I came out and she had picked
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herself up off the floor and I just said come in here for a minute and then I hear Dean come down
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the stairs and then he's bringing on the door and I went to the door and I held
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it open a little bit and I said what do you want and he was like can you get Kirby please and I was like no I'm
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calling the police I've had enough and then I tried to close the door and that's when he put his foot in the door
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and tried to shove the door open and then she went back [Music] upstairs taking drugs heroin creates
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imbalances within the people tempers become short and any small point of friction
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can suddenly become a main focus and huge arguments develop and even sometimes steps over into violence
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[Music] knowing that she'd reported Dean to the police Kirby stopped speaking to her
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friend I do think Kirby would have spoken to me if she felt safe enough I think he told Kirby not to come down to
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mine anymore no abuser wants people talking to who they're abusing things came to a head when Ellie
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noticed water dripping down her walls for like 2 days it just kept going and going it's starting to smell there's
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mold like what do I do and that's when I said to the letting agent you need to
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get me out of here I think he just left the Taps running I think Dean was I'm
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going to get rid of her and the best thing I can do is flut out Ellie never saw or heard from Kirby
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or Dean again their behavior started to become more erratic and the couple began to distance
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themselves from Rebecca sometimes they'd go months and months without speaking to people
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sometimes the images that they posted onto their Pages were quite alarming showing drug use or showing grainy dark
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images where it was unclear what exactly was in the picture kby was unhappy she felt like
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Dean was leaving her alone a lot more and cheating on her Kirby becomes increasingly cut off from her other
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family members and is now isolated from them and is fully with Dean in 2015 Dean and Kirby moved again this
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time they settled in an apartment in the small coastal town of Mary Zion Mar Zion is a really lovely little
00:20:22
community in Corall it's actually a bit of a tourist hotspot loads of art galleries famous for its paintings and
00:20:29
pottery so a lovely place to visit by the Sea maybe this would be a symbol for a
00:20:35
new start for the both of [Music] them soon after they moved in Rebecca started receiving troubling messages
00:20:44
from Dean he said that he'd got a video of somebody coming in in the middle of the
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night and attacking them and then he sent me a photo of his face and it was all swollen and he said that he believed
00:20:57
that Kirby had done it but that she'd been mind controlled into doing it just
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very bizarre messages I did kind of take it with a pincha I believe it was probably the
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drugs talking yeah in November 2016 Kirby stopped replying to Rebecca's Facebook messages she hadn't been active
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for a while and that was really out of character for Kirby I thought maybe they had lost their accommodation so I wasn't
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too worried at first because it's not completely out of the norm for them to
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not be in contact for a few [Music] weeks 3 months later after no contact Dean suddenly messaged
00:21:46
Rebecca in the January of 2017 I got an unexpected message of Dean saying I'm here cuz if you want to vent
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at me call me on this number but I was at work at the time by the time I got to call the
00:22:02
number the line was dead didn't even ring I wasn't overly concerned but I did
00:22:10
find it really strange it was really out of the blue and it wasn't in keeping
00:22:16
like with the normal messages that Dean would send I didn't say anything to anybody at that point just thought maybe
00:22:23
he was just off his head months went by without Rebecca hearing from either Dean or
00:22:31
Kirby I kept checking Kirby's Facebook to see whether she'd been active there
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was absolutely nothing I messaged Kirby where are you what's going on please can
00:22:43
you get in touch absolutely nothing in May Rebecca was sitting at home one evening when her phone
00:22:57
pinged so on the 17th of May in 2017 I received a message off DEA about 10:00 at night I had a blackout hazy argument
00:23:07
woke up with a body on the floor put body in the bin down the road I remember cutting it up and putting it in the bin
00:23:13
for defo I heard the bin men find all the meat they didn't know what it was the carpet had to be lifted in the
00:23:19
bedroom because of all the body matter it was in my flap for a week either way Kirby's gone I hope for
00:23:26
her sake the body I chopped up was fake and a setup must have been hated for someone to go to so much and all that
00:23:33
blood splatter up the wall ain't a joke something going [Music] on he then sent me two photos of the
00:23:42
room there was blood splatter everywhere I was shocked sad it's bizarre it's it's not something
00:23:54
you you'd ever expect to to happen ever [Music] Rebecca had received a shocking message
00:24:12
from her cousin Dean low apparently confessing to the murder of his lover Kirby I think when she first received
00:24:21
these messages she wondered whether this was some sort of mental health episode I
00:24:26
don't think her mind immediately went to Kirby's died it was the fact that no one
00:24:32
had heard from Kirby since November was this him in a delusional State doesn't know what's real what's
00:24:40
not real because of all the drug taking what on Earth is going [Applause] on my name is Brian hook I'm a former
00:24:51
homicide detective I spent 30 years in the metropolitan police my impression was the person
00:24:59
writing this is actually not in touch with reality here when a person like Dean has a heavy addiction the line
00:25:06
between reality is so blurred that in himself he probably didn't know how to
00:25:13
separate what was reality and what was happening in his head it's almost as if they're telling
00:25:20
us about a nightmare about something they think has happened but is not sure although I'd
00:25:27
seen the the scene in that room I still didn't believe at that point that Kirby
00:25:32
was dead and or that he' killed her I found my mom and and I asked my mom what
00:25:37
we should do one of the family members found the police a police officer was sent to Dean
00:25:47
in Kirby's apartment Dean answered the door he had no top on he had a necklace on and on
00:25:53
this necklace was some teeth and he claimed that they were Kirby's teeth he was met with what Canan be described
00:26:02
as absolutely horrific scenes he is very aware of the scene that greets him which
00:26:10
is blood spattering blood staining and a smell of decomposition they discovered a smashed
00:26:21
up Rock and like a big rock that had broken into pieces that they believed to be from force of hitting something they
00:26:28
found a metal bar they found a Blood Stained mattress that had been flipped over and slept in and then obviously the
00:26:36
the scenes of the the blood there was blood everywhere one of the things the officer
00:26:44
would have done almost immediately would be to arrest de on suspicion of murdering
00:26:56
Kirby a forensic examin mination of the flat found life-ending amounts of blood it was quickly determined it was Kirby's
00:27:05
blood Dean had been taken to the police station for questioning but despite the blood there was no sign of
00:27:13
Kirby knowing Kirby as long as I have and knowing Dean as long as I have it's hard for me to accept that
00:27:21
that she is definitely gone because all of the messages from Dean say I think I've killed Kirby and they've got no
00:27:27
body once Dean was in custody the investigation to determine what exactly had happened in the apartment could
00:27:40
begin homicides are difficult enough to investigate when you actually don't have
00:27:45
a body that's just another layer of complexity in this case when the forensic examination of the flat is
00:27:54
completed the blood spatter tells a story the other remain that are there because the bodily fluids get onto all
00:28:01
sorts of other things and to try and dispose of all that is virtually impossible so when you
00:28:09
go through all the successive examination of that crime scene you build up a picture posters went up around the
00:28:17
Cornish Coastal Community to ask the locals for help in the investigation when I heard that Kirby
00:28:24
was missing my skin just cwed I got goose bumps I had this horrible horrible feeling I knew that she wasn't alive
00:28:34
when I saw that she was missing I knew then I didn't know what happened but I
00:28:40
knew then that she wasn't here anymore from the evidence in the apartment the police built up a picture
00:28:49
of what Dean had done to Kirby in January 2017 at some point police believe in the middle of the
00:28:57
month Dean murdered Kirby with a metal pole and a rock he then dismembered her body
00:29:05
flushed some parts down the toilet and stuffed others into wheelie bins he then continued to live in the flat with blood
00:29:13
soaked carpets and blood soaked walls for months until around May when he reached
00:29:23
out to family members and told them what he'd done [Music] homicides that involve dis Amendment are
00:29:35
very very unusual I've been involved in four in the 18 years that I was a homicide
00:29:43
detective if you think of the time when this happened in the January it's fair to say that the
00:29:51
heating will probably have been on decomposition starts and you are going to get an odor
00:29:59
the ability to stay in the same house that at this point must absolutely be smelling of a dead body that most human
00:30:09
beings would find absolutely horrifying there's something about his thought process which is very
00:30:16
dehumanizing objectifying of this thing that was in the way that he's got rid
00:30:22
of the police have seen the messages that Dean sent to me and within the messages he tells me that he's chopped
00:30:28
her up he's watched the bin men taking away her body nobody has ever ever been found
00:30:39
now there's no going back from it is there from what you've seen and what
00:30:42
you've been told the motive for the murder remained unclear I cried I sobbed what person can beat somebody
00:30:59
like that you know and still walk about and think it's fine I think the more drugs they took
00:31:06
and the harder their situation became Dean probably took it out on her I I imagine it was probably a beating
00:31:14
that went too [Music] far I don't think there was a world in which he thought he would get away with
00:31:28
this murder there was so much blood at this crime scene there was no chance Rebecca was the closest person to
00:31:36
him and he must have known that by contacting her and sharing this information she was going to go to the
00:31:41
police it was game over for him at that point I think it's a question I ask myself all
00:31:49
the time what do you think it was that finally made him tell everybody I think he did trust me the
00:31:57
most yeah [Music] 32-year-old Kirby noden was missing but all the evidence strongly indicated that
00:32:15
she had been murdered by her long-term boyfriend Dean low the reaction of the family was obviously worry working out
00:32:24
whether it was true because it was so chaotic and wasn't completely out of character for Dean to say ridiculous
00:32:33
stuff didn't realize the gravity of the situation back then I realize it now and
00:32:39
I say you know hindsight's 2020 I wish I um had called the police more you know I
00:32:46
I wish just wish I could have done more for her I I couldn't Dean Lo's trial began at Truro
00:32:57
Crown Court almost a year later on April 23rd 2018 he was now aged 33 because Dean had confessed both to
00:33:07
his cousin and also verbally to the police officer who attended the address they had a confession they had the crime
00:33:13
scene and they had the murderer I remember at the time when I was covering the case this seemed very open and shut
00:33:20
but it wasn't he pleaded not guilty it's not unheard of people homicide cases to make
00:33:28
at the time and then by the time it comes to trial 9 10 12 months later to have had a change of mind and plead not
00:33:36
guilty it's their right it's the legal system his addiction would have been
00:33:40
addressed whilst he was in custody in prison and therefore he will probably have more touch on reality and perhaps
00:33:48
the impact of what he had actually done had started to hit home to him I didn't attend cor mall where the
00:34:02
majority of the Witnesses were I was just at Preston Crown Court bya a video link I just gave the
00:34:08
[Music] evidence I know it sounds silly but you kind of feel like you're betraying them
00:34:14
a little bit don't [Music] you when Dean stood on the witness box and took the o both what he said
00:34:29
surprised everyone in court Dean's story was that he had been attacked in his
00:34:34
flat raped by two men and that Kirby had fled to South Africa he said the whole thing was set
00:34:43
up by Kirby and the two men if they were all involved in it together and it was all just a ploy to get Kirby out of the
00:34:50
relationship and to South Africa where she could start a new life he also said that Kirby in the flat
00:34:58
had taken off her colostomy bag and started spreading blood spatters around the flat to implicate him in the murder to
00:35:10
frame him if you like Dean even went as far as to claim that while he was incarcerated in hmp
00:35:18
exor that he received a phone call from Kirby from South Africa in which he said
00:35:24
you're now you're stuck inside and I'm enjoying my new life he said that she was in South Africa and
00:35:31
I just thought she's not she's absolutely not she's got a daughter drug
00:35:35
addiction no money probably no passport so farfetched that she would be somewhere so far away from
00:35:44
Cornwall it gave a lot of false hope to Kirby's family members it's very very
00:35:49
damaging to tell people who are in the process of grief oh no she's still alive
00:35:54
but it's completely false he murdered her In Cold Blood in the home they shared
00:36:02
together the trial lasted for over 2 weeks the whole time he sat there with a completely straight face he showed no
00:36:16
remorse the jury then went away to deliberate for 9 and 1/2 hours the verdict was
00:36:30
guilty the judge decided that Dean must spend a minimum 28 years in prison the judge said the defense was
00:36:40
utterly cruel lies and that Kirby had suffered a pitiless attack and Kirby had done nothing but love him
00:36:48
devotedly some of the jurors were so upset visibly upset crying that a court Usher had to hand them tissues so it was
00:36:55
a very emotional time [Music] when he got put in prison I thought to myself good I'm glad that he can't hurt
00:37:04
anyone else you know especially not another woman it was confusing because there was
00:37:13
no body they didn't know for definite that he'd done what he said he did but he's got his sentence that's
00:37:20
what they think is right that's what Kirby's Mom feels is right I know that she's
00:37:31
died and that Dean's done it I do know that but I think it's just I don't want
00:37:37
to accept [Music] it I think he killed her because he took too many drugs his head was messed
00:37:49
[Music] [Applause] up the dean I knew growing up would never have done that to kby or
00:38:04
anybody they must be a part of Rebecca that still loves him that's her cousin
00:38:09
and she hates who he's become but that's not who he always was she remembers him as this really fun
00:38:17
little kid playing with her in their Nan's Back Garden to know that you have
00:38:21
to turn on him and give a statement in court which she did must have been incredibly hard
00:38:27
[Music] it's a photo from my Nana's house so it just brings back nice childhood memories
00:38:37
Dean at that age he was still quite a young innocent child cheeky little face coming to terms with Dean's crime
00:38:48
has been difficult for Rebecca and her family I wonder all the time what he thinks about it
00:38:55
all what he thinks about me me and whether he blames me for the police and for him being in
00:39:01
[Music] prison but I guess now in prison you know he's being fed he can't access all
00:39:10
these hard drugs he can't do any harm to himself or to anyone else so I kind of
00:39:14
don't need to worry about him as much as I used to not only did she lose Kirby who was a
00:39:20
really good friend of hers but she also lost her cousin she's lost that closeness she's lost that family member
00:39:27
those memories are tainted forever because of what he's done this is a double tragedy and the impact that it's
00:39:33
had on the wider family members is massive if she fully accepts that this is what Dean has done then at some level
00:39:45
she will have to rewrite the history that she had with him and revisit that and recalibrate that person she knew but
00:39:54
at the same time she knows what he's done what makes a monster you know what makes
00:40:05
somebody do this atrocious act it's not just one thing it's not just one flick
00:40:11
of the switch it's years in the making years of drug use a difficult childhood
00:40:17
all of those things matter and make a massive impact on a person and their actions if he'd remained outside
00:40:27
he would have been and continued to be a danger to the public so he's in the best place for him
00:40:36
and he's in the best place for us Dean needed help much much earlier and had help been provided and accepted
00:40:45
because there is a level of responsibility on his end things could have turned out very
00:40:51
differently the memory of Kirby stays with the ones whose lives she touched she was just
00:41:02
brilliant so welcome him you you you could just not know her and you just feel like You' known her forever she's
00:41:09
just one of them people she was really lovely she had um a really big heart she cared a
00:41:16
lot I do think that she tried to protect me and that spoke volumes I wish you were still here I
00:41:26
wish you were a to have your daughter and [Music] have it's unfair about Kobe's family
00:41:46
it's hard for our family as well Kobe's family we're friends of the family and it's hard there's a lot of
00:41:54
guilt for us as well to know what they're going through obviously I love him as a cousin and
00:42:01
I'll always care about him but I don't think that I'd ever be able to be in a
00:42:06
room with him or even have a conversation with him again it is hard to get what he's
00:42:14
possibly done out of my mind [Music] [Music] now [Music] [Music] [Applause]