The Orgasm Expert: THIS Is How Often You Should Be Having Sex & Stop Inviting Pets Into The Bedroom!
- Feb 19, 2024
- 1:36:07
- Full Episode
Dr Karen Gurney is a Clinical Psychologist, Psychosexologist and Couples Therapist, she has been helping couples tackle sex problems for over 20 years. She is the author of the bestselling book, ‘Mind The Gap: The truth about desire and how to future proof your sex life’.
0:00 Intro
02:43 What Do You Do and Why Do You Do It? 04:32 Our Attention Is Being Hijacked Which Is Affecting Our Sex Lives 10:33 Why Does Sex Get Harder the More We Think About It 12:26 Why Expectations and Pressure Make Sex Worse 16:32 Our Society Has Created a "Sexual Script" That's Wrong 17:46 How to Talk About Sex with Your Partner 23:45 How to Tell Your Partner You're Not Attracted to Them Anymore 26:32 How to Not Let Kids Ruin Your Sex Life 28:01 The Demographic That Comes to You More Than Any Other 28:52 Why Desire Goes in a Relationship 34:49 How to Trigger Desire in Your Relationship 39:10 The "Initiation" Problem 40:57 Should We Schedule Sex? 43:41 What Should We Be Doing to Keep Desire High in Our Relationships 46:31 How to Talk About Your Fetish with Your Partner 51:30 What Women Really Want During Sex 53:21 Does It Matter Who Initiates Sex? 56:40 If Our Idea of What We Want From Sex Isn't Happening What Should We Do? 59:07 If Men Can't Get It Up, What Should We Do? 01:00:32 If Men Can't Get It Up, What Should We Do? 01:01:51 Should We Have Sex Before or After We Eat? 01:03:58 The Optimal Amount of Times to Have Sex 01:05:52 Sexual Dissatisfaction Between Men and Women 01:08:30 How to Deal with a Sex Life as a Parent 01:12:30 What You Can Do as a Parent to Ensure Your Sex Life Doesn't Go Off Track 01:14:02 The Relationship Between Poor Sleep and Sex 01:17:15 At What Point Should People Reach Out to You? 01:17:57 Have You Ever Seen Relationships That Are Unrecoverable? 01:19:21 The Top 3 Most Common Sexual Problems 01:21:22 The Impact of Pets on Our Sex Lives 01:23:19 Are You Hopeful for the Future of Sex? 01:24:40 How Menopause Affects Our Sex Lives 01:25:57 Our Bodies Changing Over Time and How That Impacts Our Sex Lives 01:27:03 Are We Meant to Be Monogamous? 01:32:27 The Last Guest’s Question
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Brief Summary
Dr. Karen Gurney discusses sexual satisfaction, desire management, and the impact of parenthood on sex lives in this insightful episode.
Key points
- Understanding Sexual Dissatisfaction. A staggering 52% of women and 42% of men report being unhappy with their sex lives.
- The Pressure Paradox. Pressure and expectations can significantly hinder sexual experiences, creating a cycle of anxiety.
- The Importance of Communication. Effective communication about sex is crucial for long-term satisfaction in relationships.
- Desire Management Theory. Managing desire in relationships can help maintain intimacy and connection.
- Sexual Currency Explained. Maintaining sexual currency is key to a healthy sexual relationship.
- The Importance of Kissing. Kissing often falls off the agenda in long-term relationships, but it’s essential for desire.
Episode highlights
- Understanding Sexual DissatisfactionA staggering 52% of women and 42% of men report being unhappy with their sex lives.“52% of women and 42% of men are unhappy with their sex lives.”0:19Feb 19, 2024
- The Pressure ParadoxPressure and expectations can significantly hinder sexual experiences, creating a cycle of anxiety.“Pressure is a total passion killer.”12:56Feb 19, 2024
- The Importance of CommunicationEffective communication about sex is crucial for long-term satisfaction in relationships.“Communication is one of the most highly correlated factors with long-term sexual satisfaction.”18:20Feb 19, 2024
- Desire Management TheoryManaging desire in relationships can help maintain intimacy and connection.“Keep some distance, keep the right amount of distance.”29:44Feb 19, 2024
- Sexual Currency ExplainedMaintaining sexual currency is key to a healthy sexual relationship.“Sexual currency is everything that marks you out as a sexual couple apart from having sex.”36:41Feb 19, 2024
- The Importance of KissingKissing often falls off the agenda in long-term relationships, but it’s essential for desire.“Kissing is a great way of triggering desire.”43:46Feb 19, 2024
- Understanding Sexual DynamicsRelationship dynamics can affect sexual desire, especially when roles shift over time.45:06Feb 19, 2024
- Communication is KeyClear communication about sexual desires can enhance intimacy and satisfaction.“No erection doesn't mean that you don't want to have sex.”1:00:10Feb 19, 2024





