The Gottman Doctors: Affairs Can Save Your Relationship! If You See This, Walk Away!
- Sep 16, 2024
- 2:16:26
- Full Episode
In this conversation, the Gottmans and Steven discuss topics such as, how to repair from an affair, why dating apps are broken, the facts behind an awful sex life, and why to stop chasing the idea of 'the one'.
00:00 Intro 02:28 What Do You Do? 05:08 What We Doing Wrong About Dating 09:55 How Do We Find True Love? 11:39 What Is The Most Attractive Thing In A Person? 13:51 The Role Of Self Esteem In How Attractive You Come Across 16:13 There Isn't 'The One' 18:30 Are We Attracted To People Different To Us? 21:11 Do We Need To Lower Our Expectations? 24:52 It's A Red Flag When They Want To Rush Things 29:06 Can You Fake Confidence? 31:25 Science Know If People Connect Well Or Not 35:13 How To Build Confidence 38:04 Differences Between Gender In Attraction 39:37 Why People Need Alcohol When Dating 44:29 Is 'Good Enough', Enough To Be With Someone? 48:06 The Role Of Sex In Attraction 53:40 How To Spice Things Up 57:46 How Much Sex Should We Be Having? 01:03:21 Men Struggle To Talk About Their Feelings 01:09:36 Expressing Gratitude To Your Partner 01:15:55 How To Know If You Should Break Up 01:19:24 The 4 Horsemen Of The Apocalypse In A Relationship 01:25:02 Insecure People Are More Defensive 01:32:19 Do Homosexuals Relationships Last Longer? 01:33:45 Gaslighting 01:38:32 Why People Stay With Gaslighter Or Abusers 01:41:24 How To Help People Going Through Domestic Violence 01:45:01 Treating Affairs 01:47:45 What Percentage Of People Have Affairs? 02:00:42 Does Cheating Help A Relationship? 02:03:34 The Importance Of Connection
Follow the Gottmans: Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/66wXYNo5QMb Twitter - https://g2ul0.app.link/5htmCbr5QMb The Gottman Institute - https://g2ul0.app.link/KlYOelu5QMb
You can purchase the Gottmans’ book, ‘Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection’, here: https://amzn.to/4emRC7u
Get access to exclusive Diary of a CEO members content here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGq-a57w-aPwyi3pW7XLiHw/join
Get your hands on the brand new Diary Of A CEO Conversation Cards here: https://appurl.io/iUUJeYn25v
Follow me: https://g2ul0.app.link/gnGqL4IsKKb
Sponsors: Shopify - http://shopify.com/bartlett
Brief Summary
Drs. John and Julie Gottman discuss relationship dynamics, attraction, infidelity, and the importance of emotional connection in love.
Key points
- The Power of Authenticity. Being genuine is crucial in attracting the right partner.
- Friendship as a Foundation. Building a friendship network is essential for finding love.
- The Power of Curiosity in Relationships. Approaching relationships with curiosity can lead to more meaningful connections.
- Evaluative Contexts and Dating. The pressure of evaluation can hinder genuine connections in dating.
- The Coolidge Effect. The novelty in relationships is crucial for sexual excitement, contrasting with the security of love.
- Importance of Emotional Connection. Emotional safety is essential for women to feel attracted, highlighting gender differences in relationships.
Episode highlights
- The Power of AuthenticityBeing genuine is crucial in attracting the right partner.“Trust your own intuition, trust who you are.”8:31Sep 16, 2024
- Friendship as a FoundationBuilding a friendship network is essential for finding love.“You need to build that friendship network first.”11:29Sep 16, 2024
- The Power of Curiosity in RelationshipsApproaching relationships with curiosity can lead to more meaningful connections.“If you approach the whole situation with curiosity and wonder...”27:20Sep 16, 2024
- Evaluative Contexts and DatingThe pressure of evaluation can hinder genuine connections in dating.“The evaluative context is kind of like an interview basically.”41:38Sep 16, 2024
- The Coolidge EffectThe novelty in relationships is crucial for sexual excitement, contrasting with the security of love.“The Coolidge effect is that it has to be novel, it has to be exciting.”54:47Sep 16, 2024
- Importance of Emotional ConnectionEmotional safety is essential for women to feel attracted, highlighting gender differences in relationships.“Women need emotional safety and connection to feel that the situation is erotic.”56:35Sep 16, 2024
- Gratitude in RelationshipsExpressing gratitude helps couples focus on the positive aspects of their relationship.“Gratitude puts you on a different frame of mind.”1:13:49Sep 16, 2024
- The Four Horsemen of RelationshipsContempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling are key predictors of relationship failure.“Contempt is the worst; it's sulfuric acid for a relationship.”1:23:27Sep 16, 2024
