STOP LABELLING PEOPLE AS NARCISSISTS

Why do we miss the warning signs when it comes to the people we love?

Today’s guest believes most of us don’t realise why we react the way we do.

Desmond O’Neill is a behavioural psychologist and former police negotiator who has spent decades studying manipulation, trauma, and the patterns that quietly shape our relationships.

He’s worked with law enforcement and families who found themselves trapped in dynamics they couldn’t escape.

Desmond believes most people don’t realise they’re being manipulated until long after the moment has passed. We don’t recognise our own patterns either, especially when those patterns were shaped in childhood.

We cover:

- Why do certain behaviours trigger us so quickly? - How do smart people get manipulated without seeing it? - How do you handle someone who twists the truth? - Why do we repeat the same relationship patterns? - What’s the first step in breaking a lifelong pattern?

At the end of this conversation I realised how much of who we are comes from the mistakes we’ve made. I said to Desmond that I’m a better person today because of the things I’ve learned the hard way.

If I hadn’t made those mistakes in the past, I’d probably still be making them now. Talking to him made that clearer.

It wasn’t regret but it was about understanding why those moments mattered and how they shaped my self-awareness.

I also appreciated how openly he showed up.

This was his first ever podcast, and the honesty he brought into the room meant a lot to me.

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