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we promised our listeners last week that
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we discuss your ketamine Journey
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everyone is ask they couldn't believe we
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waited last week they were people have
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been asking me a lot so give us your
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your ketamine journey and please roll it
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out for us uh so just to set it up I um
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a friend of mine invested in Academy
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clinics and for me it was like burning
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man I always wanted to do it and I was
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chickened out
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and yeah and my friend invested in a
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clinic and he set it up and he made it
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SE seamless for me in Austin and you
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walk in and everyone's got their shoes
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off it's a very nice
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Vibe and they it was actually quite nice
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uh you have a person in this kind of
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this love room with couches and pillows
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it's very comfortable and they give you
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a weighted blanket and then the doctor
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who talked to me they did pre-screening
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to make sure you shouldn't do it if you
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have any schizophrenia in your family or
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if you're feeling especially anxious or
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paranoid um which for me is called a
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Tuesday but anyways the I know exactly I
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was like who hold on stop sign stop sign
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I said all of those things but it's
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nothing red light all those things but
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it's nothing out of the normal and you
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go into a room that feels like the you
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know the coolest Den where you'd hang
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out and smoke a lot of pot at home like
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Rich it feels like a room in a rich
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person's house who's very into marijuana
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that's right and this the thing that
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initially struck me was the doctor came
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in we all held hands and prayed which I
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actually found quite comforting and then
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you do some deep breathing some heavy to
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God pardon to God or I I don't know
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exactly who who was on the other end of
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that I'm not sure anyone was listening
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but yeah it was nice to be in the
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company of other people holding hands
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and hoping for good outcomes okay and
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then she gives you an injection little
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communion and then she gives you an
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injection and you get on an elevator up
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or out and the way I would describe it
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is that you know they use the term
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disassociative for these drugs and that
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is you do in fact your Consciousness
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your thoughts leave your body your body
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feels fine it feels very heavy you can't
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really move you have trouble I had
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trouble articulating words
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but you immediately your Consciousness
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sort of leaves your
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body and I'll give quickly how quickly I
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want details how quickly did you
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suddenly feel this within 30 or 60
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seconds you are you feel very relaxed an
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initial sensation of
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relaxation it does reduce your anxiety
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and but then you your elevator up pretty
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fast your your Willy Wonka in the in the
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in the elevator going about the speed of
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light except I wouldn't describe it as
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your traveling I would describe it as
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your Consciousness leaves your body and
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then space starts flying around you and
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Surround and the things that are on your
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Consciousness uh begin you know I think
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the the things are important or at least
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in your mind start coming into what I'd
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call 4K
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highdefinition
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unavoidable um very visual View and just
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visually so me it was just me pictures
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of me that's right go ahead that's right
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but uh these things come into very
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Crystal Clear
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View and so I'll give you what I'll call
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the downsides and I'll give you the
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upsides the downsides are some things I
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was anxious about in that moment kept
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popping up and I knew even in the moment
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that they weren't that important um can
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you give me specifics or not I had had
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uh I had been what I felt like less kind
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to somebody or I said some stupid stuff
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and I felt bad about it and it just kept
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popping up and and I say a lot of dumb
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unkind things
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on a regular basis and trying to be
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funny or provocative and it just kept
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coming up and so you know I waited till
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the cem W off and I called them and
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apologized but in two if I had done my
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trip in two weeks I don't think it would
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have come up so your anxieties at the
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moment do come up which is a bad thing
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the other bad thing is that if you have
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a doctor who recommends it because of
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trauma or they feel it would help you
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with your depression then by all means I
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would I would suggest taking medical
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advice but if you are not good at drugs
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and what do I mean by that I have done
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enough drugs that I have been way too
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high a couple times and it's a terrible
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experience to feel way too high and out
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of
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control but I you always get through it
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but without that confidence of knowing
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you're going to get through it I would
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absolutely not do this mind [ __ ] because
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oh so a mind [ __ ] if you don't take I
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shouldn't do it in another words oh I
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would not recommend it to any I was
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thinking about you I was thinking about
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my wife which is a little odd but I
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would not recommend recomend it for you
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uh because there are moments and I'm not
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I I don't want to say there are moments
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where it's it's terrifying that's a
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strong there are moments that are very
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scary that if you could you'd be like I
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want off this roller coaster but your
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Consciousness your Consciousness
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separates from you and you're just
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looking at your Consciousness and your
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perception of things and the universe
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starts flying by you and what I would
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say is that the the upside is it's very
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clarifying and cementing of things that
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are important to you so I had
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these
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incredibly
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incredibly uh Crystal Clear unimaginably
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Sharp Images in 3D All Around Me of
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these two favorite pictures I've I have
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of my
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boys and you're thinking about your
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relationship with them and how deep it
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is but it goes like exponentially deeper
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and you sort of like I mean very obvious
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stuff you know your purpose is to love
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your children but you start you start
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recognizing that this is this is
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everything for me like this is who I am
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is the is so it clarified important it
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came to the Forefront Clarity or
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clarification and cementing is how I
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would describe the upside of it and you
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know I had I saw I saw death but in a
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good way I think about death a lot and I
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thought okay and I'm very into this
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concept of surplus value that when a boy
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becomes a man man when he's now
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producing more than he's taking in and
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some people never get to that point
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people love you people spend time on you
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your school spends resources on you the
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world spends resources on you and when
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you really become a man is when the
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output or the the love the care the
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concern the productivity you offer the
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world is greater than your
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inputs and for me it was clarifying I'm
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like okay my opportunity here is still
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is to love my boys more than you know my
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parents love me oh so that's what came
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to the Forefront interesting your work
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not your work that's really interesting
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not a single image not a single thought
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about my work about money about success
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about lack thereof about professional
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success or disappointment and that
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occupies the majority of my waking hours
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it was all about my boys and then
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surprisingly my can I see was it
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hallucinogenic or when you're seeing
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these pictures is it just your thoughts
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or do you actually see things because on
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some of these things like mushrooms you
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see things color LSD you see colors
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right I so I've told you about the
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sphere being mindblowing in Las Vegas
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yeah this is the sphere of the
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sphere you're the walls are breathing
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the universe is flying by you in Crystal
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Clear Clarity but you are no longer in
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your body and you are thinking just so
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like when you die you know that feeling
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when they say when you die pull out
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that's how I imagine it's like I am
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beaming towards the source the source is
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comforting and along the way I don't
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have time for one of the billions of
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planets or the trillions of organisms
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that aren't important it's just the two
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or three very important things and a
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recognition and there was no Discovery
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there was nothing new and my actually my
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wife came into it but in a much
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different way it was like this shock and
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the way I would describe the shock was
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did you ever when you were a kid get a
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gift you weren't expecting it and it was
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something that was so unattainable for
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you that you could never even imagine
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owning it I mean you wanted it so much
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but it was unattainable for me it was
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when I was a kid I was really into
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skateboarding my skateboard cost $2 yeah
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and there was a skateboard called a bane
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B A hn NE e which was the ultimate
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luxury item the equivalent of a Bugatti
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or a Birkin bag but they were $45 and in
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a million years my mom and I could never
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afford a $45 skateboard and my mom's
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boyfriend came home one day with this
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real rag tag box and he said this for
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you and I opened it and it was a bane
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skateboard and at that moment that
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moment of just like shock and joy that
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that was mine when my wife came into the
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picture I remember feeling this like
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like who is this oh my God I get to hang
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out with this person that's correct
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thank you Scott we all know that you
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know the rest of us know this cuz your
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wife is a hot ticket item in every
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single
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but this this notion of like who is this
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oh my God I get to hang out with this
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person partner with this person I get to
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be physical with this person I get to be
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affect it was like it was like this Bane
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skateboard times a million and that was
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very nice and clarifying your wife was a
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b well but you know what I mean oh
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interesting did you I know I know let me
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did you have any religious spiritual it
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absolutely none at all it really doesn't
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no you didn't touch the face of God did
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you the way I would describe it is it
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doesn't illuminate
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anything new or teach you anything new
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it didn't for me what it did was just
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clarify the cement or cement the things
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that I know and are that are very
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important to me and it just sort of so
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no appearances by the pivot team or car
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s yeah not a lot but I mean this
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absolutely nothing about my work and the
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the takeaway I went in with the
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intention I wanted to ask myself a
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question like what is my purpose how do
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I add value and I just came back to this
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notion that I have had I've been
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fortunate enough to receive a lot of
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love and my my goal in life is to have
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Surplus value in terms of the amount of
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love I give as opposed to the amount of
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love I've I've received nice and also
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this weird recognition that I'm almost
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there and that quite frankly gives me
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permission to leave and and I don't want
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to say die because that sounds negative
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oh please but I have I have permission
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to leave and i' I've checked a box that
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was kind you've done
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enough I've you've done you're a surplus
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person you're a plus person you know I
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feel like I mean I would think in terms
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of masculine I think I am a man I have
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loved more than I've been loved and
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that's the goal and that but it was very
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clarifying it was very positive but let
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me Circle back no this is not something
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to be done lightly it would be
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terrifying if you weren't confident
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around your use of drugs and having said
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that if the doctor I should do it I mean
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this sincerely I I think of you was a
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good friend and I wouldn't I would
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always advise you I wouldn't do it if I
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were you and everyone talks about it
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being a life a life-changing experience
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there's no free launch and there are
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moments imagine the scariest roller
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coaster you've ever been on and your
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friends talk you into doing it and about
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10 seconds into the roller coaster
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you're like I would pay almost anything
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to get off this thing there are a couple
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moments there are a couple moments where
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you're thinking about the intensity of
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your Consciousness separated from your
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body and the life you've built yourself
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and how strange it is and all your
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emotions and it is so overwhelming it
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gets quite frankly just very
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scary um you know I I'm I'm recalling
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when I was a kid I used to stare in the
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when I was very sad about my dad and
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stuff I would stare into the mirror and
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I would hypnotize myself I would go who
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am I what am I doing here and I'd repeat
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it over and over again and then I would
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disassociate it was amazing I don't I
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can't believe I did that as a kid but I
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I have a very deep recollection if you
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stare into a mirror and say that who am
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I what am I doing here I it freaked me
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out when I was I think some of that is
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good I think some of it is bad if it
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gets too much it was imagine that CU you
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can't get out
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of pull myself out that's that's a
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that's a great believeing that's a great
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example but it was
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um uh scary downside some anxiety that
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just shouldn't have been there because
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it my mind at the time but it was very
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clarifying and you're not I I promised
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myself I wasn't going to call anybody
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right after Under the Influence Academy
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but of course I immediately you didn't I
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didn't hear I immediately how long did
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it last it's about an hour but you can't
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really stand I mean you're you're woozy
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but I immediately called my wife and
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told her she was a ban skateboard but
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she was very moved by it oh
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[Laughter]
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um oh I'm going to get you one of those
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now and put your wife's face on it
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that's my that's that's my birthday
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present the thing you'd want to give to
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people who have a nice relationship with
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their kids you
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just the word that kept coming up with
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the feeling this I'll finish here was
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impossible but impossible in a good way
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impossible in the sense that my boys can
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never understand until they have their
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own
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boys how deeply I feel about them and my
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commitment to them and it was this
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wonderful feeling that I have this
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secret that that they just can't
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comprehend you know the depth of the
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commitment and the connection I feel
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with them and the Word was impossible
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but in a very positive way but it was
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all about it was all about my boys a
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little bit about a little bit about my
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you know my partner in life but nothing
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about work nothing about
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health nothing about my parents it which
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shocked the [ __ ] out of me it was very
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weird good for you Scott that sounds
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fantastic now I I'm excited about your
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LSD trip and your your IA trip and
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everything else there you go no I'm
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done
