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Hi, and welcome to My Favorite Murder. The Minisodes. We read your shit to you. Are you ready?
00:01:53
I'm ready. Are you ready? I'm ready. are you are totally jacked up for it i'm jacked up and i'm ready and do you want me to go first
00:01:59
yes i'm jacked up for you to go first oh we we usually say this is where you send us your hometown
00:02:05
stories murder stories i have in your hometown but now we've opened up to all variety of things
00:02:10
just stories just just kind of a good story yeah like do you think of a kind of cool story that
00:02:15
you tell someone maybe two beers in because there's not much else to talk about yeah send
00:02:20
it to us. Dig deep. What's that weird thing your uncle found in Germany when he was posted over
00:02:25
there for army duty? Exactly. That kind of stuff. Yeah. Nazi gold. Nazi gold is a gold. If you know
00:02:33
where the Nazi gold train is buried, we'd love to hear about it. Tell us. So this first one,
00:02:39
the subject line is a murderer as an acting scene partner, parentheses, a very LA story.
00:02:44
Hey, Karen Georgia, Stephen and animal friends. A few weeks ago, my friend Alexis, who's an
00:02:49
actress in LA, as am I, was in a teen study class and they had to pick a scene partner
00:02:54
to meet outside class, rehearse, et cetera, as you do. No. So she didn't really know anyone in the class, but had briefly met this guy, Chris.
00:03:01
So they picked each other as partners. They exchanged numbers. But when Alexis texted him a few days later to rehearse, he didn't get back to her.
00:03:09
She texted him a few more times. And then a week later, he finally responded saying, can't do it.
00:03:14
Something came up. A few days later, she was reading a news article about the young missing actress, Adia Shabani, when she chose when she saw that the girl's boyfriend, Chris Spots, her acting partner, had led the police on a chase across Los Angeles County in a stolen car, then fatally shot himself after the pursuit.
00:03:38
A day or so later, police found Adaya's remains in a shallow grave outside Sacramento.
00:03:45
And Chris is the main suspect in the murder. Oh, my God. A.K.A. he did it and then killed himself when pursued.
00:03:51
Oh, and it came out that the douchebag had a fiance outside of L.A. So basically, my friend almost did a scene with a murderer and a cheater.
00:04:00
Stay sexy and don't choose murderers as acting partners. Ariana. When did he find the time to even text her, sorry, something's come up?
00:04:09
Yeah, what? People have ghosted people for so much less than that. I want to know the timeline of when that text was sent.
00:04:16
I bet you she was really hounding him. Yeah. She was just like, guys, look, we've got to get this scene for Danny and the Deep Blue Sea together.
00:04:24
You're really screwing me over. I'm not going to get a bad grade because you can't get it together.
00:04:28
And he's like, I'm kind of busy right now. He's like, I'm having a psychotic break and doing terrible things.
00:04:34
That's so horrible. That's awful. Okay. This one's called, So I Guess Both My Parents Work With Murderers.
00:04:42
Hi, MFM Humans and Animals. Great. Well done. My friend Stacy got me hooked on the podcast
00:04:48
when we were driving around the country on tour doing children's theater. Oh, this is an actor's episode.
00:04:53
It's kind of a theme. But I've been a murderino since childhood. My mom worked in criminology when I was growing up,
00:04:58
and she used to sit me down in front of the Sex Offenders Registry database, which she helped create because she's a badass and tell me that all those were bad people even
00:05:08
the woman who looked like a grandma that is amazing that's horrifying i love her mom she
00:05:16
not only made the sex offenders database she made her daughter study the faces you know why that's
00:05:22
such a good idea because it's like going they look like anybody at costco that's i think what
00:05:28
her point was is like that little old lady yeah sex offender do not trust so uh uh then the next
00:05:35
line of the last line of the paragraph paragraph is thanks for the trust issues mom yeah that's the
00:05:41
only problem we got from age eight yeah yeah uh she also told me about how when she was working
00:05:45
in jails in the 80s there was a liquor store down the street and the guards would let inmates who
00:05:49
were in for drug crimes and other minor things go there and get beer or whatever wow uh like just do a 7 run Uh Wow We in there for drug crimes no it not as bad as something i mean these days drug crimes are free them all free them all free them all for real most of them
00:06:08
okay free them all when they're not when there's no violent just the drug crimes we're only talking
00:06:13
drug crimes no violent offenses nothing beyond but there's so many just like low-key dealers
00:06:19
Well, did you hear Water Surfaces, Cynthia Nixon's quote about like, we need it.
00:06:24
Yeah. About legalizing pot. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It was pretty incredible. I can't say it offhand.
00:06:31
Okay. I could go on and on about my mom's crime stories forever, but I'll get to the murder.
00:06:37
I was just talking to my father when he goes, remember that, I'm going to do dad voice.
00:06:41
Remember that guy at work who asked for time off and it turned out it was because he had
00:06:45
murdered his wife. And I was like, um, no, I would definitely remember that. Apparently, this guy he worked with, Galen, murdered his wife in 1983 and then drove her body in the car, parked it behind a bar and elaborately staged the scene to look like a robbery.
00:07:00
My dad remembers him claiming his wife was abusive, but I can't find anything about that in reading about the case.
00:07:05
So I think he just doesn't want to believe he had worked with a murderer. Galen was out on appeal when he was working with my dad and had to request the aforementioned time off to go stand trial.
00:07:17
Oh, shit. He ended up pleading guilty and went to prison for a few years. So then the job, were they going to hold the job for him?
00:07:25
Hire him back home, but at the same pay rate a couple years later. What the fuck?
00:07:30
The whole reason my dad brought it up was because when they worked together, Galen had claimed to be involved in the creation of Dungeons and Dragons.
00:07:38
I've done some Googling and I can't find anything to back that up. S-S-D-G-N-M. S-S-D-G-M.
00:07:45
Alana. Oh, I also created Dungeons and Dragons. Me too, me too, me too. They won't credit us because they're jealous.
00:07:52
Yeah, yeah. I was only three years old and I... But I felt the meaning to create it.
00:07:58
Okay, ready for the subject line? Absolutely. My mom was married to Drew Peterson and coincidence.
00:08:04
That's a coincidence. That's big stuff. So let's see. Last mini-sode episode, there was the coincidence letter about a woman who was being...
00:08:11
They were trying to pick the jury for a murder case and it turned out it was her nephew's
00:08:17
murder case and she was dismissed. And we said, send us your fucking coincidences, which I and Stephen gave me five coincidences to choose from this time, which I was like, he's like the first five are murder and the last five are coincidences.
00:08:27
And I just went to the last five immediately. Yes. My favorite. You're like, give me them.
00:08:31
Yeah. Coincidences. Some people say there's no such thing. You decide. You tell us.
00:08:36
Hello. Yes, my mom was Drew Peterson's first wife. My two older half brothers are his sons.
00:08:43
Thank God my mom stayed sexy or I wouldn't be here. This is not my hometown, so I won't bore you with the details.
00:08:48
Are you fucking joking me? Bore me with the details. Bore me all day long. We have never done Drew Peterson.
00:08:56
No, we haven't. But I did the Drew Peterson made for TV movie on malls podcast. Mother, may I sleep with podcast?
00:09:05
Right. And Stephen was there. We talked for like over two hours. That episode, yeah, is like three hours.
00:09:11
it's the funniest made for tv movie it's rob low as drew peterson it's so nuts amazing i did um
00:09:20
an amish amish chick gets pregnant that's not really what it's called oh for your episode yeah mother may i sleep with podcasts so good what did i call it again uh
00:09:30
amish my period oh yeah yeah that's what i called it that's hilarious on this podcast uh yeah listen
00:09:36
to um molly mackalair's podcasts she has does she still do please advise yeah please advise is going
00:09:42
um mother may sleep with podcasts is kind of on hiatus right now but there's a ton of episodes
00:09:46
you can listen there's a yeah she's already recorded a ton and they're so good and she's so
00:09:50
she's such a good interviewer slash conversation holder she's just so dry yeah and she has a she
00:09:58
has a totally unique fascinating personality that i want to talk to forever she acts like she doesn't
00:10:02
care and then you find out she's the cariest person you've ever met in your life that is not
00:10:07
always the way it's totally okay okay um so uh we're like yelling at this person for not telling
00:10:14
us more and then we just change the subject out of drew peterson entirely sorry it's fine um it's
00:10:20
our podcast this is not my hometown so i won't bore you with the details that you're probably
00:10:24
sick of hearing about not in the least i want to give a shout out to my brother who has custody
00:10:30
of Drew's brood. He is doing a bang up job raising those kids considering the fucked up
00:10:35
nest they have to live with. Wow. That's hard. That's amazing. Okay. Anyway, this is more
00:10:40
to her point. My hometown murder happened in 1994 in a Western suburb of Chicago. When
00:10:45
I was 10 years old, I was walking home from a friend who lived about two blocks away from
00:10:49
my house. I passed a house, which we could see from our front window that had ambulances
00:10:54
everywhere and police cars pulled up on the lawn. That's bad. On the lawn, really? When
00:10:59
the police pull up as close to the front door as possible yeah something very bad is happening what
00:11:03
does it mean it's like they're like they i don't know they didn't stop on the street yeah emergency
00:11:09
that yells never thought of that just fucking get up there that's a good that's a good observation
00:11:14
um i got home and nobody knew what was going on turns out this guy lost it because one of his
00:11:22
stepkids didn't clean their room so he shot up his family injuring his wife and stepdaughter
00:11:27
and killing his seven-year-old son. So sad. Fast forward 10 years, and I'm working in a salon fairly new to doing hair.
00:11:36
I had a new client sit in my chair and get to talking. We discover that we lived in the same intersection growing up.
00:11:42
So I say, remember that dad that went crazy and killed his son? She replies with, yeah, that was my stepdad.
00:11:50
My jaw drops. I apologize profusely. Talk about a foot in the mouth situation. I was so embarrassed that I don remember the rest of the conversation but she did say she wasn home when it happened Needless to say I never saw her again Lesson learned Don talk about murder with a new client you trying to keep in your chair
00:12:07
Lauren. Can you imagine having to cut that woman's hair after that? This reminds me of the very few times in the VIP meet and greet line when someone will say, you talked about my aunt.
00:12:19
You talked about my cousin or something. and both of us freeze and we're just like, are you okay? Are you mad at us? Yes. And then they,
00:12:27
never have they said anything except for you did it well, but yeah, which is why I'm telling you
00:12:32
this. Cause I'm bragging about us. No, but I mean like I, that feeling of my, they'll say my uncle
00:12:38
was blah, blah, blah. My aunt was so and so. And you're like, I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry. I mean,
00:12:43
these are real people. Totally. It's the thing that people always ask us about, but it's like,
00:12:47
but for the most part it you don't have to interact face to face with it but like yeah she
00:12:53
she she was doing what everybody else that isn't directly involved in order does which is oh my god
00:13:00
this is so exciting it's so terrible it's so like can you believe this insane thing happened in our
00:13:05
neighborhood yeah and then oh that's that sucks man we know that you're a good person lauren we
00:13:12
feel you if you could get through that haircut you're a good hairdresser i feel like she's has
00:13:16
like hands of steel now totally nothing rocks that woman's world all right this one's called
00:13:21
a middle schooler and a mom walk into a parking lot this is a coincidence it's not a coincidence
00:13:25
actually but it's a funny story okay good uh one typical day when i was in elementary school my mom
00:13:31
jill who was a firm believer much like karen's quote we aren't the rockefellers grandma and
00:13:37
picking up any change she finds on the ground was dragging me around her usual errand route the bank
00:13:44
grocery store target etc much to her delight we passed a folded up dollar bill in the parking lot
00:13:49
and of course there goes jill jogging over to grab it when she picked it up she could tell that it
00:13:55
wasn't just a single bill so she exclaims look at this i bet those i bet there's multiple dollars in
00:14:00
here tucked it in her back pocket and literally spent the whole time in the grocery store talking
00:14:05
about the luck she had finding this money we got back to the car when we got back to the car she
00:14:10
handed me the dollar and told me I could open it up and keep whatever was inside. Very exciting.
00:14:15
And you and I right now, when we hear this, think, oh my God, she just gave her kid $500,
00:14:20
like something exciting, right? Yes. No. Excitedly, I opened the wadded money and inside
00:14:26
was not another bill as my mom had predicted, but two dime bags of cocaine. Too late. You said I get to keep it. It's mine.
00:14:37
I said, Mom, I think these are drugs. As Dare had just come to our school the week before, I was pretty confident in what I was seeing.
00:14:47
Jill, who took her first shot of liquor at the age of 58, asked, Are you sure they are in just Smarties?
00:14:53
Oh, Mom. Honey. Wait, pills of cocaine? No, I think it was like powder. Oh. But she just like ground up Smarties.
00:15:02
I think she thought it might be. Well, we might as well do it and see. It's a liquor stick.
00:15:06
Let's eat it. Yes, they're wrapping candy in dollar bills and throwing it into the parking lot.
00:15:11
Jill. You know. She snatched the wad back from me and spent the car ride home talking about the exciting new details to this mystery dollar case.
00:15:20
At home, she showed everything to my dad, who decided calling the cops was too much of a hassle and flushed the bags down the toilet.
00:15:27
But hey, I still got to keep the dollar. SSDGM, Olivia. It turns out that, you know, those those like drug busts where they're like, you know, they're shipping bathtubs.
00:15:38
And then it turns out the bathtub is not porcelain. It's made of cocaine. That's not real.
00:15:43
Yes. They like they they have like drug busts where it's like they just pour cocaine into the molds of other things.
00:15:49
And but there has to be something keeping the cocaine together. Yeah. Yeah. They bind it with.
00:15:55
Have you seen this, Stephen? Do you know what I'm talking about? They like break.
00:15:58
He doesn't know. I want it to be in the lining of the porcelain mold. You break the porcelain and then cocaine comes out.
00:16:05
Because you can't make cocaine that hard, can you? Well, can't you do it with like a jello mold, but bathtub shaped?
00:16:12
Stephen will look it up and then he'll explain it. Now I only just want a jello bathtub.
00:16:17
Maybe this is just my dream of a cocaine bathtub. I think we're both talking about what we really want to be real.
00:16:23
For Christmas. Why are we talking about it? I don't know. Oh, no. Because we're clearly drug dealers.
00:16:31
Yes. And we're sending out a secret message. We're sophisticated drug mules. What?
00:16:39
I like, not like, but respect. Drugs? Yes. I definitely respect drugs. The idea that you would think of that idea where if you folded up a dollar and threw it out the car window and ended up cocaine inside,
00:16:52
when the cops saw somebody go pick up a dollar, it could be anybody. And you wouldn't question it.
00:16:56
because anybody would pick up a dollar bill. Cut that out, Stephen. You just told everyone how to fucking deal drugs just now.
00:17:02
Let's do this thing, everybody. Leave the drugs in the parking lot. Anything, Stephen?
00:17:08
Or did I dream cocaine bathtub? I think you dreamed. I think your house is full of cocaine bathtubs.
00:17:15
Stephen, you have four minutes to find that article. Here's the problem. Karen tried to snort her bathtub once when she was an alcoholic.
00:17:23
That's why I'm 30 minutes late for everything. is I just keep scratching on the bathtub.
00:17:27
You've just been snorting porcelain for fucking years. Yes. That's where the seizures are coming from.
00:17:33
That's it. That's my neurological damage. Okay. Okay. Are you ready for this last one?
00:17:38
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00:20:19
The subject line is I know Paul onions. No. Yes. And if there's a pick included.
00:20:26
Hey guys. In 2005, I was living in London, putting myself through uni by working as a waitress at the hard rock
00:20:33
cafe in your park. I've been there. Have you really? Yeah. And our like high school trip to Europe where we,
00:20:38
You went to like 10 countries in two days. Let's go there when we're in London. I used to have a Hard Rock London shirt.
00:20:45
We're getting a new one for you. Awesome. We stood in line for so long for that fucking shirt.
00:20:49
Well, there was in 1987. Oh, yeah. That makes sense. God, that was a long time ago.
00:20:55
Okay. I became close friends with a Canadian girl who lived with her boyfriend of five years,
00:20:59
Paul. When the movie Wolf Creek came out, which is loosely based on Malat, Ivan Malat, I asked
00:21:06
and if she and her man wanted to go to which she replied in a very polite canadian way
00:21:11
um probably not my boyfriend is the guy that escaped him in real life what the fuck onions
00:21:20
onions and buttons of course i asked her to tell me everything she knew she said that they started
00:21:27
dating a couple years after the trial and then having to go back and face malott haunted him
00:21:31
to that day of course it fucking did it's a nightmare the monstrous monster he's he that
00:21:37
story that i did when we were in australia was so fucking awful talking through it whatever that
00:21:43
show was where i had to just keep being like and then he walked her out into the middle of the
00:21:47
fucking wilderness and then her car ran out of gas and then yeah but you did a great job i still
00:21:52
remember it and i don't remember anything i don't remember this morning uh i mean listen it brought
00:21:59
is Paul Onion. So it was worth it. That poor fucking man. He hates us. He hates our guts.
00:22:04
There's no way he's not like every once in a while getting a message. Guys, seriously,
00:22:09
please leave Paul Onion alone. I just keep posting like a new on Instagram. There'll be like another
00:22:14
really great drawing of Paul Onion's logo and I'll post it and be like, he has a restraining
00:22:20
order against us now, but I have to post it. Like we can do it for ourselves and just like him as a
00:22:24
concept. We don't know him as a person. We don't have to be in his life. Please don't try to contact
00:22:28
poor fucking paul on it's god it's a nightmare although tell him we love him yes tell him thank
00:22:33
you if you're already friends with him tell him we think he's a hero give him just a nice rub on
00:22:37
the middle back i i i'm sorry that i can't say your name offhand but to whoever the person is
00:22:46
who made me a keychain with an onion on it with eyes and a face that's right and i believe it was
00:22:52
maybe Salt Lake City or maybe Cleveland or Columbus. I can't remember. I use it every day.
00:23:00
That's my key chain now. Just so you know, it's because I they gave it to me and I was like,
00:23:04
this is so nice. Thanks. And she looked at me and she was like, it's look, it's Paul.
00:23:09
It's basically a human onion. It's the best. All right. It's a blooming human onion. It's a
00:23:14
blooming. Oh, wait. Okay, so sorry. He used to come in and have a beer at the bar waiting for
00:23:19
her when we were closing up at 1 a.m. Even though it was many years later and it seemed to be something that
00:23:23
troubled him enough to still, they never felt right. Still, it never felt right to bring it up or ask him about his experience.
00:23:30
Good call. Yes. Fucking lunatic. Oh my God. Don't ever do that. You and the haircutting girl should hang out.
00:23:38
Teach each other some lessons. Hey, how about this overall life lesson? Zip it, zip it until your fucking best friends.
00:23:46
you're doing a little bit of a like a blood brother ceremony you have to be like in it to win it
00:23:52
they drive you to the airport type of friends you've already told them about your deepest darkest secrets
00:23:56
how about you go first you go fucking first with like Some horrible, weird, terrible, bad memory.
00:24:02
And you lay it all in the thing and then dig around. Next time you meet someone, immediately tell them you're, I got pantsed in fifth grade.
00:24:08
And then they're going to be like, I'm sorry, what? I just met you. I don't want to do this with you.
00:24:13
I don't know nothing. Never mind. We're yelling so much at Emily when she doesn't really deserve it.
00:24:18
But we just want to be protective of our precious Paul onions and anyone that's had an experience
00:24:24
like that. And now she goes and tells us business. They split up a couple years later.
00:24:30
though I am still close with the Canadian girl. I haven't seen him in years and hope he has found some small portion of peace
00:24:36
with his experience. Aw, that's nice. I've included a photo from pub drinks after work for you, Karen.
00:24:42
I hope this email reaches you now that I finally wrote it. SSDGM, Emily in LA. Emily, that's nice.
00:24:48
Let me see, let me see, let me see. Okay, we can't post this. But we'll just tell you.
00:24:53
Explain it. It's pub drinks, so he's standing there with a beer in his hand. A pint.
00:24:58
A pint of bitters. He's the kind. He has the cutest smile on his face, and he looks like a very happy man.
00:25:03
He looks like an Edgar Wright character, and he'd be in an Edgar Wright movie. He looks like he would be the... He looks like Hugh Grant would play him in the movie.
00:25:12
He's kind of hot, you guys. He's got a great fucking face, and he looks happy. A great Australian face.
00:25:19
Yes. Is he Australian? No, he's British. He's got a great British face. He's got the kind of face where you're like, oh, he's super cute, and then you find out he's British, and he's so much hotter.
00:25:28
He's so much cuter. Like, yeah. Because, you know, he'd speak to you in low lilting tone.
00:25:32
Yeah. And he like probably a fun drunk Yeah He like sings like British songs when he drunk He fucking like he like we gotta get chips when he drunk all the time
00:25:42
And you're just like. Another pint of bitters. You're right. We have to get chips.
00:25:45
I do just want to put this out there though. Okay. Because maybe he is finding it funny.
00:25:50
Maybe like Jennifer Moray. He's like, oh, you guys put a positive spin on like this horrible thing that happened to me.
00:25:55
And I appreciate it. I'm just saying we're going to be in London and Manchester.
00:25:58
So if he does feel that way and wants to come to one of our shows, please, please, Paul,
00:26:03
if and I swear to God, we're really normal. Nobody. This is his decision. Do not tell him or anything.
00:26:12
But it gets to him verbally through friendship. Sure. And he wants to come. Yeah.
00:26:17
He can come to any show in the UK. And you can come and hang out backstage with Vince.
00:26:21
You don't have to go in the audience because the audience is going to fucking fangirl all
00:26:24
over you and make photos with you. Yeah. Whatever you want. Or you can do it your way.
00:26:28
It's your way, and that way could include being carried in on a sedan chair, if you want it to be that way.
00:26:34
I doubt he wants it to be that way. Or just go get a pint of bitters after the show.
00:26:38
Can you imagine? I can imagine. I would die. What if we got sour cream and onion ones, and we're like, Paul, sour cream and onion.
00:26:46
Wait, you keep saying bitters. He just said no. He just heard me say that. I was like, never mind.
00:26:52
Bitters. Isn't that beer in British? A pint of bitters I thought was like those herbs that you take with soda water when your stomach is upset.
00:27:02
No, I think bitters are beer. Could be. You know what? This is a lesson we're going to learn when we're in England.
00:27:08
They going to scream it at us I mean I hope you live it This is my ploy to get them to send me a pint backstage Because you can get anything backstage I can get anything backstage I can get anything
00:27:20
I need. Stephen, just real quick, tell us what the British version of bitters means.
00:27:26
We'll just sit here quietly and wait and watch you. This is solid podcasting. I didn't find
00:27:32
the bathtub, but they did use the t-shirt cannon to shoot drugs over the border.
00:27:37
that's good i'm gonna find that bathtub and show it to you i will find it and then a pint of bitters
00:27:43
bitters are b is beer a type of beer get your check or or i know what bitters are
00:27:52
oh like an english bitter an english bitter is like a beer is george is a cocktail person
00:27:58
she knows her shit oh it is it is a type of beer thank god suck my bitters is it yeah the bitter style came from brewers who wanted to differentiate these ales from other mild
00:28:10
brews yeah it's light it's like a light beer when george said suck my bitters both hands went out
00:28:16
and then both hands gestured in toward her bitters yeah i did the uh suck it gesture yeah
00:28:21
like karate hand sucker gesture that's so called steve austin's is that his thing yeah and he goes
00:28:27
boom boom with his pelvis. It's very offensive. It's very late 90s. You know, it's a way to say suck it.
00:28:35
If you're talking to someone who's hard of hearing, they know immediately what you mean.
00:28:39
It's important. Alright, that's the mini-sode. Send us your anything. Send us anything.
00:28:45
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