00:00:00
This is exactly right. Isn't some far off concept? It's already here. Next starts now.
00:00:33
Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. When a charming neurosurgeon rode into Frontier Town
00:00:39
selling a persona of confidence and care, patients trusted him. He wore cowboy boots in the operating room
00:00:45
and became sought after by patients. He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies.
00:00:51
This is a story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice. Listen to Dr. Death the Cowboy wherever you get your podcasts
00:00:58
or binge the entire series right now only with Audible. Goodbye. The best parts of summer aren't just places, they're feelings.
00:01:07
It's the scent of fresh ocean air, sun-warmed skin, and long evenings outside. Pura's new summer collection is designed to capture those fleeting moments and make them last.
00:01:16
Restore your sense of place with clean, premium fragrances you control from your phone.
00:01:21
Bring the feeling of summer home. Discover the collection at Pura.com. Goodbye. Goodbye.
00:01:28
My favorite murder everybody? Well, we'll tell you. It means that this is the episode where we
00:02:02
read to you all of your hometown murders, your different stories. There's really a barrage
00:02:08
of topics that you can send in to us that we'll accept. Finding money, ghost stories,
00:02:12
alien stories, sinkholes. Your grandparents did some crazy shit. Stuff in walls. You found things
00:02:17
and they were crazy. Just whatever. Hometown murders. We like those still. We don't mind urban legends if they're
00:02:23
entertaining enough to read. Yeah. So, shall we begin? Yeah, you go. Go ahead. Do you want me to begin? Um, what's my last one? Why don't
00:02:33
you have a good last one? Yes. Okay, I'll start. Okay, right. One, two, three. Okay.
00:02:40
This is called Meanwhile in Riverside. Oh, shit, y'all. Here we go. Hi, Georgia, Karen,
00:02:46
Stephen and animals. Long time listener, first time writer. I am an East Coast transplant living
00:02:51
in Riverside, California, studying toxicology at the University of California. Poison. Very
00:02:57
cool riverside i didn't see that last word university of california riverside because
00:03:01
apparently colleges are named based on the city they're in who fucking knew we don't fucking know
00:03:07
college graduates know that uh deans yeah they know talking deans i started listening to your
00:03:13
podcast shortly after luna socal and it helped me adapt to the west coast thank you uh del taco
00:03:20
that's all i give you one of my favorite episodes is never a mannequin in which karen details the
00:03:26
Riverside serial killer that targeted sex workers in the late 80s. Yeah. Since that time, Riverside has seemed to become less crime ridden until lately.
00:03:35
Uh-oh. Starting in March, we have had a serial masturbator on campus. You see, you know what?
00:03:41
Bad news. I think you've got a bunch of those on campus. Oh, no. It's a college campus.
00:03:48
I bet it's pretty serial for every student. Oh, no. You know, it's stressful. I get it.
00:03:53
Well, UCR being a commuter school, so I guess there's no dorm room to actually do it.
00:03:58
Well, I think it just means there are dorms because my school was a commuter school.
00:04:01
Oh, really? It just means that it's massively huge and a lot of people don't stay there.
00:04:06
Got it. Okay. UCR being a commuter school is a campus surrounded by parking lots.
00:04:11
We received campus-wide emails about crime on and near campus, and we kept getting emails entitled,
00:04:17
Lewd Act Occurred on Campus. there have been at least five episodes where a woman will be walking alone in a parking lot
00:04:24
she's approached by a man driving a car sometimes he asks for directions and the woman will notice
00:04:29
he is jerking it all the accounts say it is a white 20 something man though the car description
00:04:36
changes email to email the man will then drive away once the woman reacts or runs away thank god
00:04:42
there have been no abductions there is an elevated police presence on campus but we keep getting
00:04:47
emails. While it's super creepy to have a serial jerker on campus, I sort of want to be the one to catch the guy and get his
00:04:53
license plate. Hell yes, you do. He seems to be escalating because there were two
00:04:57
incidences on March 10th, about 20 minutes apart from each other and one yesterday
00:05:03
on 4-16. Fuck. They occur at different times with the first couple occurring at night, but yesterday
00:05:09
the masturbator struck at 1-30 p.m. In the afternoon? He's getting bold. Yes. Whoa. Maybe
00:05:15
it's for the best neither of you have spent a lot of time in riverside i'm conflicted because
00:05:21
these instances give me and my female peers excitement to theorize if he is someone we know
00:05:26
but i'm now nervous to walk through the parking lot uh after my late classes i will continue to
00:05:31
stay sexy walk with my camera ready to get the license plate and try to catch a serial jerker
00:05:36
much love and thank you for all you do cam okay can i just say this to cam yeah just off the dome
00:05:43
do not walk in that fucking parking lot after late classes by yourself yeah other people leave
00:05:49
that class walk to one person car drive to the other person car because it is escalating and as we know as we heard all these fucking stories it it progresses to other things Well they get more and more confident because they keep getting
00:06:06
not getting caught. So they say, Hey, I did this three times at night. I could do it during the day now and I'm not getting caught.
00:06:12
And now the next thing is I want to touch her. It's not enough for her to see me jerking off.
00:06:16
Now there needs to be actual contact. That's how all these fucking stories go. I love though.
00:06:22
It's, it's so different. Oh, was I right up on it? It's so different now because imagine in the 80s if there was a serial jerker driving around, no cops would ever come and they'd all laugh.
00:06:33
And now there's a heightened police presence because they know not to mess around.
00:06:38
God damn it. The buddy system. You're in college. Kindergarteners know this. Buddy system.
00:06:44
Don't mess around. Now I'm mad at Cam. Ready? Cam, stick to toxicology. Cam, God damn you.
00:06:53
Okay. Okay, the subject line of this is knife fight and hero grandfathers at a wedding in India.
00:07:00
Ooh, grandfather stuff. Love it. Dear ladies, Stephen and pets. I love it. My name is Bhargav.
00:07:07
I love your work, and I've gone back and listened to all your episodes. I was also at your Dallas show, and I loved every second of it.
00:07:14
No, no way. Thank you. Anyway, here's my attempt to add the first story from India to your mini-sales.
00:07:20
Oh, my God. That's exciting. um cue the bollywood music dance number love it when i was in sixth grade in the early 90s
00:07:30
we went to an outdoor wedding in the city of surat india as the wedding had wound down and
00:07:35
most people had left few of us are staying back to help clean up and gossip i fucking love that
00:07:39
so much um it happens everywhere we're all culturally the same that's how we connect it
00:07:45
was we hate a third person i was helping in a chair oh sorry i was sitting in a chair helping
00:07:52
in a chair. I was helping my ass sit in a chair with my sister, cousins, and grandparents as my
00:07:58
mother was helping others wind up. Just then two men ran into the wedding area, one chasing the
00:08:04
other and carrying a huge knife. Oh my god. When we saw that they were coming directly towards where
00:08:10
we were sitting, we all scattered. I started running to the stage as I figured the higher
00:08:14
place would be safer without realizing that they were running right at me. Perfect. All of a sudden,
00:08:20
the guy being chased ran into me very hard oh no we both fell and he had me on top to shield
00:08:28
him from his attack what a dick um in six a sixth grader he grabbed a sixth grader
00:08:34
that's right a child six graders are not shields no they're baby 12 year olds this uh is when i got
00:08:42
a clear look at the knife this is the last thing i actually remember until i woke up with my mom
00:08:47
sitting next to me in tears and a crowd around us. I do remember seeing blood spatter on my shoes.
00:08:54
My mom and other witnesses filled me in later. After we fell on the ground, my paternal grandfather's brother,
00:09:00
that would be your paternal great uncle, got in front. He's in his 60s. He got in front of the attacker to stop him.
00:09:07
Oh, my God. He still charged ahead, took a swing and cut and cut the guy under me in his arm.
00:09:14
So that's what the blood was. Okay, got it. Um, this is when my paternal grandfather, also in his sixties, grabbed the attacker from behind and swung him around.
00:09:23
The attacker then ran away and others chased that guy, the other guy out too. Now the murder part.
00:09:30
Next day, a story with pictures is reported in the newspaper with, um, a guy stabbed to death.
00:09:37
And my family immediately recognized him as the guy that was being chased. fuck so apparently the attacker waited after running away from the wedding venue when the
00:09:46
other guy came out he stabbed the guy to death in front of many witnesses what the fuck anyway
00:09:52
ssdgm and keep doing what you do thank you for your time bar golf i wanted more info
00:09:58
what were they stabbing about i thought it was over a woman oh or money and that's why they ended
00:10:04
up in a wedding yeah it was all that whole thing of love right that's it okay uh i have a
00:10:11
grandfather one too oh but i'm not gonna tell you the name of it okay okay it's about finding
00:10:17
something out about grandfather then i don't want to tell you what i'm gonna hear it eventually i
00:10:22
know you are by you shit am i too far away who told you all right hello everyone my great grandpa
00:10:31
died when i was a kid and we found out all this crazy shit like 10 years later about his time in
00:10:36
the Dutch military. Oh, wait, we're coming to Amsterdam. Don't be afraid to buy those tickets.
00:10:41
Here we go. This will make you want to come. This might actually not. You might hate this.
00:10:45
This might change it. Well, OK, no, it's fine. People love controversy. He and my great grandma.
00:10:50
My yes, he and my great grandmother grew up in Holland and left just after World War
00:10:54
Two. My great grandmother used to tell us stories about working as a liberator with the Dutch
00:10:58
military to release people from concentration camps and how he was captured and put into
00:11:03
Auschwitz for it. Fuck. My great-grandmother even gave speeches about her husband's triumphs after he died.
00:11:09
We were all crazy proud to have someone who had done that work in our family. Sidebar.
00:11:15
My great-grandpa always kind of skeeved me out, but I always attributed it to being seven and him being old.
00:11:20
And old people make me nervous anyway. Fast forward to 2013. The Dutch government releases a list of, all caps, Dutch Nazi collaborators.
00:11:32
No. and my fucking great-grandpa was on the list. Before this, it was assumed that there were no Dutch citizens
00:11:40
who worked for the Nazis. Alas, nope. Turns out everything he and my great-grandma had told us was bullshit.
00:11:46
Oh, no. This rat bastard had signed up for the SS, not once, but fucking twice. No.
00:11:54
Turns out he was a mechanic for the Nazis He managed to avoid repercussions for it by moving to Canada and lied about it for the rest of his life Then we found out my great grandma knew everything and lied about it until the day she died
00:12:07
My dad even went to Holland to check the archive records to make sure it was true.
00:12:11
There's a whole document with his official signature and everything. Turns out great grandpa was a total dick.
00:12:18
Also, when my great grandma died, we found her original copy of Mein Kampf. Oh, girl.
00:12:24
Shit had gold pages. Gold fucking pages. Barf. That's what this person wrote. Thanks for always making awesome episodes.
00:12:32
They make my days as a substitute teacher so much better. Don't worry. I only listen to them when the kids aren't in the room.
00:12:38
I've gotten my mom and one of my siblings into MFM now too. And my dad hates when we talk about our, quote, murder shows.
00:12:45
Stay sexy and don't collaborate with Nazis. Maddie. Yes. That's so disappointing.
00:12:51
Hey, here's my, here's, I have an argument as a Jew. I know that a lot you had to, it's like they were going to kill your whole family.
00:12:59
Yes. You know, unless you were like, yeah, I'll be a mechanic, but I don't believe, and I'll
00:13:04
sign up for the SS twice. Not I have a harder time. Especially when you didn't have to.
00:13:09
Yeah. Never mind. I think, well, but I, that logic holds up for people in Germany because it did take over
00:13:16
the entire German country. Right. But if nobody else is collaborating except for this one asshole, I think we can call
00:13:21
him an asshole. because all of Holland is like yeah no we fought they're like no no no you don't have to you don't
00:13:27
have to yeah yeah okay he's a dick that's well but god damn like what yeah it's good to keep
00:13:34
gold original fucking Mein Kampf copy can't argue with the fucking shitty Nazi propaganda you cannot
00:13:41
see well hey I think down there's the light in her eyes um okay well this kind of really this
00:13:50
goes along with. Okay. And the subject line is finally something to email you about. Hey,
00:13:57
Karen, Georgia, Stephen and pets. So period. I am listening to your podcast pretty much from the
00:14:02
other side of the world. Ooh, thinking about how it is a bit of a bummer that I would never have
00:14:07
anything to add when out of the blue in Minnesota 66, someone mentioned cocaine bathtubs. Oh my God.
00:14:14
I know something about these. Hopefully the people passing in their cars didn't think I was having a
00:14:19
fit or something given the random excited arm gesture okay so uh my mother-in-law is awesome
00:14:27
but at times can be a little naive a while ago uh when she was in her 50s she traveled around
00:14:32
europe and while staying in venice i want to go to venice so bad let's go i just had a wave that
00:14:38
made me i don't know i just saw this wave wash over you of like will i ever go to venice yes
00:14:43
this summer okay i would like to go i love that you're like yes we'll go like the most romantic
00:14:51
city in the world because if you even want to go with me after going to europe i would love to go
00:14:55
to venice with you and your husband and i are there we're there steven vince we're there we're
00:14:59
there we're all you know i love that you're gonna make it happen for me let's meet under the bridge
00:15:04
of size okay okay well staying in venice she got a job at a wee florist shop where are you from
00:15:10
a wee floor shop that seemed to get most of his business from ornate vases. Apparently it was the best job ever.
00:15:19
And the super friendly businessman owners would buy her coffees and treat her lunch and meals out of the flashiest restaurant.
00:15:25
Amazing. Sign me up. Right. This is the job I always wanted in my 20s. I'm like, there's people that get paid a ton of money to do like, like to eat lunch and stuff.
00:15:35
I just know it. Like I had all these theories in my head. Right. People with great jobs.
00:15:39
Look at us now. This doesn't work. Is it? Come on. Her job was simple. Greet the customers.
00:15:47
And once they had emerged from out of the back, she would wrap their chosen vases ready for shipping.
00:15:53
Oh, my God. All these men loved vases. I wouldn't have questioned it. Well, why would you?
00:15:59
I'm naive like that, too. I feel like it's the thing where if somebody actually buys a storefront and sets up a fake store, it's really easy to be like, who would go to all this?
00:16:07
But I'd also be like, okay, well, maybe it's shady because these vases are, like, imported illegally.
00:16:12
Right. But I wouldn't be like, cocaine vases. It wouldn't be the first thing that popped into your mind.
00:16:18
Then one day, she turned up for work, and the shop was shut with Italian police swarming everywhere.
00:16:27
Turns out the vases had a little something extra special in them, and the florist business was just a front for the Italian mafia's cocaine trade.
00:16:35
Fuck, girl. In Venice, no less. You could do tons of Coke and then just like take a gondola.
00:16:42
Look at sites and shit. Just stare at things. What? Then I couldn't eat all the pasta.
00:16:46
No, you could. Well, it's that good. Okay. You could be blazing on Coke and you'll still eat it.
00:16:52
I just want carbs. Yeah. That's all you can eat. That's why I can't do drugs like that.
00:16:56
I just want to eat. Yeah. You get to Italy and then you're given like a subway punch card.
00:17:02
I also don't want to do Coke. I just remembered that. Yeah. That's another part of it.
00:17:06
But it's less than. because when you get your punch card, that's all the times you have to be eat spaghetti and gelato.
00:17:12
Okay. In like one sitting. Like a great minimum 12. I like that. You weren't into this bit that you were like,
00:17:19
I want to bail halfway through. I don't care about your subway punch card concept.
00:17:23
She was never arrested. Oh, that's good news. And anything but or anything, but to this day,
00:17:29
whenever she travels, she gets the full customs treatment. We are pretty sure she's on some inner pole.
00:17:34
Oh shit. I love it. Stay sexy and don't go to work for the Italian mafia, Anita. That's amazing.
00:17:41
Amazing, Anita. Please high five your mom for us. Seriously. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup
00:17:48
this summer, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent. The future soccer stars
00:17:53
who are already turning heads at age 14 Making plays that end up on everyone feed scoring from angles that don make sense rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust Because Next doesn wait for an invitation and Hyundai doesn either
00:18:06
Hyundai has always moved the future within reach. Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle.
00:18:12
Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability. And Hyundai continues doing it every day.
00:18:18
From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far-off concept. It's already here.
00:18:25
Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. Summer clothes should feel easy and still look polished.
00:18:33
Low maintenance, high reward, that's how we live our lives. For summer clothes you will actually wear, there's Quince.
00:18:39
Quince has beautiful everyday pieces like 100% European linen pants, dresses, and tops with styles starting at $32.
00:18:46
Their denim is soft and easy to wear, and their organic cotton sweaters are perfect for layering on cool summer nights.
00:18:52
Everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80 percent less than similar brands because they work directly with ethical factories.
00:18:57
So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. And it's not just clothing. Quince has become a destination for elevated essentials across the home,
00:19:05
kitchen, bedding and beyond, making it easy to bring a more premium feel into everyday life.
00:19:10
I am a fan of Quince. Yeah, Karen's wardrobe is Quince. I'm a lazy basics person.
00:19:16
and the things that I get from them, I always go, oh yeah, now I'm wearing these. They work,
00:19:21
they're cute, they're stylish. And they're classy. Like it doesn't look lazy. It looks classy. And
00:19:27
it's so affordable. Yeah. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash MFM for free
00:19:32
shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's quince.com slash
00:19:39
MFM for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash MFM. Goodbye. When you're young, you don't really buy furniture. You either inherit something from your parents
00:19:50
or you just drag something in from the street like you're some kind of hipster raccoon.
00:19:55
When you're ready for furniture that you actually like, check out Article. Article offers the style and durability you want at a price that actually makes sense.
00:20:03
They take great care in curating their collection, focusing on pieces that stand the test of time.
00:20:07
There's no filler. Every item is chosen for craftsmanship, design, and lasting value.
00:20:12
And with Articles 30-Day Satisfaction Guarantee, you can shop with confidence, knowing that
00:20:16
if you're not completely in love with your new furniture, you can easily return it.
00:20:20
Plus, Articles' customer care team is available seven days a week, offering knowledgeable
00:20:24
support and even free interior design services to help you get your home just right.
00:20:29
Yes, please. Don't we all kind of need that? Like the eye of an expert? Yeah. Where should I put this?
00:20:34
And also, what should I move here and there? And what should I even get? But Article has it all, so you can get whatever there.
00:20:39
That's right. You could be like, I have this thing. Should I get this one or that one?
00:20:42
Totally. Am I Scandi or am I mid-century? Help me be boho chic, please. If you're in the market for a beautiful new sofa, dining table, or bed, head over to article.com.
00:20:51
Goodbye. I have a cocaine bathtub one. Get in here. All right. I'll go. Okay. Then you go last.
00:21:00
Great. All right. Cocaine bathtub. Hi, Karen, Georgia, and Steven. Oh, doesn't care about the pets.
00:21:07
I had to share, even though this has nothing to do with murder, the Minnesota's paused because I burst out laughing at the mention of a, quote, cocaine bathtub, which then prompted me to tell you this.
00:21:18
When my mother was a young hippie babe in the 70s, she lived in a commune in Toronto filled with a whole lot of randoms, including draft dodgers.
00:21:26
Wow. I love another. I love that mother and cocaine bathtubs are like the only. One of these draft dodgers was a dude named Ricky.
00:21:33
Ricky was a sweet guy that liked to party. One evening, my mom's upstairs taking a bath and calls down to her boyfriend to come upstairs.
00:21:41
Instead of her boyfriend, in walks Ricky with a mirror full of lines of Coke. Frankie, what's this about?
00:21:50
Fast forward a couple decades. I'm now old enough to drink. Sitting on the porch, a few bottles of wine in, my mom and aunt are telling me stories, of which there are many.
00:21:59
This cocaine bathtub story pops up. mom finishes telling it and my aunt jumps in and says you're not even telling her the best part
00:22:06
ricky was rick james no all i can picture is dave chappelle dressed as rick james i'm rick james bitch with a fucking
00:22:25
miracle of cocaine in a woman in a bathtub. And then she wrote, yeah, so one of my mother's many claims to fame is that Rick James offered
00:22:36
her cocaine while she was taking a bath. Really looking to your... Which is really nice, actually.
00:22:40
Yeah, it is. She said it was really nice. Really looking forward to your Vancouver show in October.
00:22:46
Maybe I'll get drunk enough that I'll have the courage to try to share my mother's almost
00:22:50
getting murdered story. You guys are the best. SSCGM Suzanne. and then she says p.s i still don't know if she did the coke she won't tell you no she fucking
00:23:00
come on did it's the 70s you're lounging in a bathtub rick fucking james walks in with a
00:23:05
lovely mirror it's like hand-delivered coke on a mirror and you're in the smiling yeah you're like
00:23:09
absolutely and he looked down at your mom and was like god damn this woman's built like a brick
00:23:13
house boom there's that there and she's just letting it all hang out and she the way your
00:23:21
slutty mom did in the bathtub just kidding that was amazing that i've never laughed like that
00:23:28
no i was like an alarm i wasn't sure i'm glad i'm glad we're doing a third because i wasn't sure
00:23:33
you know what it is when we listen to each other tell these stories or at least when i listen to
00:23:37
you tell these stories i'm just trying to guess what the thing is i'm trying to guess what you're
00:23:41
gonna say what's it gonna be okay oh yeah i didn't tell you that the story was called my grandfather
00:23:46
We found out that grandpa's a Nazi. Yeah, you're just searching for like, what's the reveal?
00:23:52
Right. But like a celebrity cocaine bathtub reveal, it's just not what I thought we were doing.
00:23:58
Also, she took that... cocaine and bathtub. Right. Literally, she reinterpreted it.
00:24:03
Which is like, do it. Please. Especially Rick James. Let's all have Rick James stories now.
00:24:08
Definitely any I ran into a Rick James. Please, God. A Rick James, the Rick James.
00:24:14
Yeah. Or if your name was Rick James and growing up, people sang Brick House at you to the
00:24:18
point where you wanted to stab your eyes out. I get it. Georgia on my mind. Have you ever heard that song?
00:24:22
Yes, I fucking heard that song. Obviously, I've heard that song. Every drunk man in a fucking bar, old man, I tell them what my name is.
00:24:29
Have you ever heard the song? Immediately they kick into... Yeah, it's really charming.
00:24:34
It is such a good song. I kind of love it. Yeah, it's fine. All right. I don't know why all of a sudden on this episode, I don't know how to be near a microphone anymore.
00:24:42
I got super close to it at the beginning. Then I was way back off of it. Steven's clearly in a panic, but he can't stop smiling.
00:24:48
Okay, here's the last story. And the subject line is, when I was in a cult, we lived in a former crack house with random hidden treasures.
00:24:55
Oh, my God. Read this to me slowly. And it just says, salutations. I grew up really poor, primarily because my parents were part of a very restrictive, quote, religious organization, a.k.a. apocalyptic cult.
00:25:07
Oh, honey. And while they didn't make us all live in a compound, they did dictate when my father could work.
00:25:14
No Saturday work. And my mom was supposed to be the Stepford wife. No work at all.
00:25:19
Fuck that. Right. My dad was in construction and money was tight. This resulted in our family living in some pretty interesting houses, but by far, the former crack house was the best.
00:25:31
My parents didn't announce that the house was a former crack house, but as I got older, I put two and two together.
00:25:37
Not only was there tons of furniture and other belongings everywhere in the house when we moved in,
00:25:42
it also had tons of children's stuff and Polaroids of children labeled blackmail picture.
00:25:50
What? Uh-huh. there a child finding these pictures What the fuck I wanted to leave this next detail out but my husband insists that it be told absolutely marry the right man yes and he and he the right man
00:26:03
for us yeah that's what matters that's what we meant that's all that matters um in the hallway
00:26:09
someone had knocked a hole in the wall and that hole was full of used hypodermic needles
00:26:14
uh-huh my dad patched it up and we went about our lives someday we're gonna get out that's what we found in the wall story it's gonna be
00:26:23
hypodermic needles yep and it's gonna we have then we'll have to come right back to this episode
00:26:28
okay uh uh uh um it's kind of like the shaving razors in the wall but more disgusting yeah
00:26:36
i've always wondered if anyone ever discovered them anyway that's what we were just talking about
00:26:40
us too us too same z's anyway in the backyard there was a shed that was filled with porn mags
00:26:47
and strangely, beautiful antiques. What? I mean, which ones together? Who can say?
00:26:54
I have two passions in this life. Filthy porn and old lamps. We were only renting this crack den,
00:27:02
so my mom said we weren't supposed to throw anything away and that we couldn't go out there.
00:27:07
But I thought it was hilarious to have all that porn and regularly got in trouble for bringing friends over
00:27:12
to partake in the fun. Fuck yeah. Yeah, you gotta look at that porn. Whoops. After a couple of years living there,
00:27:21
we discovered that the strip of green shag carpet in my brother's closet came up to reveal an outline on the floor.
00:27:30
We lifted it up and found a room dug out in the crawl space. We were too freaked out to explore down there anymore,
00:27:39
so we threw a bunch of toys and stuff in it and never spoke of it again. I love they put stuff on top of it.
00:27:46
Yep. I love this family. They all about denial and sublimating everything Cover things up Cover it up Cover things up Patch it seal it someone else problem in the future someone else hometown in the future throw
00:28:02
some drywall up over it nail it on oh my god uh okay uh by accident one day i discovered that
00:28:09
the broken ac window unit in my room was filled with old newspapers and jfk half dollars what
00:28:16
That's nutso. That's cool. Money in the air conditioning. See, because people on drugs, they get real nuts.
00:28:22
And then they're like, I have to hide this. And they hide it. And then they don't remember where they put it or why.
00:28:28
And they think someone stole it. And then they kill someone because they think they stole their shit.
00:28:31
And then they realize they just hid it in the fucking AC unit. It's just in the AC unit.
00:28:35
Oh, shit. I killed fucking whatever. My best friend. Okay. We lived there over five years.
00:28:41
And every year we would find more and more stuff buried in the backyard. Dude. Fuck.
00:28:47
Mostly kitchen items, like wooden spoons. What? I gotta hide these wooden spoons.
00:28:53
The government's coming for my spoons. But also the occasional antique china. I never made it into the attic, primarily because of rats.
00:29:02
Jesus Christ. But also because I could see into it from the garage unit via giant holes in the ceiling,
00:29:08
and it did not look structurally sound. But I bet there was some cool stuff up there.
00:29:14
I bet. Eventually my parents left the cult. we moved but before we did i made sure to hide stuff around the house before we left for some
00:29:20
other kids to hopefully find oh no in addition to the crack treasures whenever i'm in town i check
00:29:26
to see if it's up for rent or sale in case there's a chance we do to do a walkthrough oh my god fun
00:29:31
fact when we moved into the next place my sister oh my god this is full circle this is insane oh
00:29:36
my god when we moved into the next place my sister promptly found a nazi coin in one of the closets
00:29:42
Sincerely yours, Ginger What? It all fucking happening We all connected It all crappening Guys what an amazing slew How fun
00:29:58
Good pics. Good pics, Steven. Now you know what kinds of stuff to send us. Can you do better than that?
00:30:03
Do better than that. Try to beat the fucking Italian cocaine-based story. Try it and send it to myfavoritemurder at Gmail.
00:30:10
And stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Bye. Elvis, you want a cookie? I think he said not right now.
00:30:19
I'm full. Vacation planning should feel like a breeze, not a deep dive into countless travel sites searching for the best deal.
00:30:25
With Cheap Caribbean's Budget Beach Finder, you can search every destination and every date all in one search.
00:30:32
You'll save time and money with the Budget Beach Finder. Say goodbye to endless scrolling and tab hopping
00:30:36
and hello to Budget Beach Bliss at your fingertips. Go to CheapCaribbean.com to try out the Budget Beach Finder
00:30:42
and see just how stress-free vacation planning should be. Goodbye. This may surprise you, but clothes that feel good and look good
00:30:50
don't have to be mutually exclusive. Designs that make you feel as good as you look is what Hill House is known for.
00:30:55
Hill House Home invented the viral nap dress. Hill House makes fun, versatile fashion that elevates your look.
00:31:01
I now own three nap dresses. I love them. They're so comfy and cute. Pockets for days.
00:31:07
Pockets for days. You know. Get 15% off your first order of $100 or more at hillhousehome.com with code MFM15.
00:31:15
That's MFM15 for 15% off at hillhousehome.com. Goodbye. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent.
00:31:25
The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14. Because next doesn't wait for an invitation.
00:31:31
And Hyundai doesn't either. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach. Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle.
00:31:37
And by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability. And Hyundai continues doing it every day because the future isn't some far-off concept.
00:31:45
It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye.