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Find your summer escape today. Visit Pura.com to learn more. Goodbye. Hello. Welcome to the staring contest that Karen and I just had.
00:01:51
God, it brings out the best in us right at the top of a Minnesota. So you just don't know what's happening.
00:01:56
It's just a lot of energy and a lot of readiness. And we don't know where to put.
00:02:02
No. How about right into these microphones? How about right into your own hometown murders are about to read you?
00:02:08
Go. You start it. Okay. This stuff is called weird stuff hidden inside a wall. Short and lighthearted.
00:02:15
Oh, and we're reading these before we're going. This is going to be while we're in Europe.
00:02:19
So, oh, my God, we're in Europe right now. Oh, my God. I love trains. UK. Yeah. I love a canal.
00:02:25
I love them all. God, thanks for getting us over here, listeners. So here are some that take place in those places.
00:02:32
Hi, guys, all humans and pets included. I don't know if you're still reading the stuff hidden in wall stories.
00:02:39
Oh, we are. But here's mine anyway. When my grandfather died a few years ago, my parents moved into his old house.
00:02:45
And as they were cleaning up the place they found, they moved around some old cupboards.
00:02:49
They noticed that the wall behind those cupboards was hollow and there was a hidden trap door in the wall.
00:02:56
They were really excited to see what was in there, but were slightly disappointed to discover that it was mostly just some papers and not a huge stash of money or a confession to a murder or something similar.
00:03:08
Okay, maybe that was just my true crime obsessed ass lol. Included in those papers, along with old letters, was my grandpa's diary from when he was traveling in Israel and other places, which were probably somewhat interesting.
00:03:19
However, the best thing they found was a very meticulous food diary my grandpa had kept in the 70s because he had tried to figure out why he had stomach issues.
00:03:28
His diet included, quote, about 10 bagels for dinner. Oh, my God, my boyfriend. 10 bagels.
00:03:39
10 bagels for dinner. Turns out he has celiac disease. Yeah. She said, I wonder why he had indigestion.
00:03:48
The fact that he wrote that down and then hit it in such an unassuming place still makes me laugh.
00:03:56
And, quote, about 10 bagels has become one of my family's catchphrases. Yes. What do you want for dinner?
00:04:01
About 10 bagels, please. I could eat about 10 bagels right now. This isn't a creepy story, and hopefully you didn't find it boring.
00:04:08
Also, sorry, my writing is bad. My first language is Finnish. That was the most perfectly written letter.
00:04:15
Oh, my. So 10 about 10 bagels was written in Finnish originally. Yeah. Amazing. I'd finish about 10.
00:04:23
Someone kill me. OK, don't kill me. Love you guys. Thank you for the amazing podcast.
00:04:27
It has kept me company during long hospitalization periods for my eating disorder.
00:04:31
And thank you for talking, learning and teaching about mental illness the way you do.
00:04:35
Love, Andre. Oh, Andre. that was so hilarious yeah and also get healthy get be happy yeah let's all try to be happier than
00:04:46
we seem to allow ourselves to be with all this shit yes please yes uh that was that was such a
00:04:54
good story that was so good i mean look on the weekends i get very about 10 bagelsy where i'm
00:05:01
like hey you know i i have all these weird rationalizations about eating bagels on the
00:05:07
weekend like the weekend it's the weekend i've earned i don't know what i'm thinking it's like
00:05:12
i've earned it somehow which i have not ever i have to say so someone recently wrote me a thing
00:05:17
about like uh their eating disorder issues and how me talking about food and having had eating
00:05:24
disorder helped and like and i just wanted to write and tell them that one of the things that
00:05:28
really helped me get over it was learning how to cook and being obsessed with cooking which made me
00:05:33
like really more into food and stuff yeah so if i can toast that bagel out maybe make your cream
00:05:38
cheese at home how i don't know i'm sure there's instant pot recipe online somewhere here's how you
00:05:44
do it you take a cup of milk and you put it on the windowsill in direct sunlight you do that for
00:05:50
three weeks and then you scrape off the green mold yeah cream cheese done and then put that green mold into some blue make up blue cheese you have blue cheese now that right Now you have blue cheese salad dressing that you can pour over your cream cheese and your bagel Yeah Get the bagels from a store though
00:06:05
Don't fuck around. Don't make them. Yeah. Don't pretend you can make a bagel. You can make cream cheese all day.
00:06:10
They make them for you. Okay. You go. Okay. Subject line is found in a chimney. Love it.
00:06:17
Hello, ladies, felines, canines, and mustaches. Yes. That's great. This is the way.
00:06:25
That's what we're looking for. I was trying to do a cheer at the beginning. I couldn't.
00:06:29
First of all, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the amazing podcast
00:06:32
and the community that has grown as a direct result of your openness with regards to mental health issues.
00:06:38
Oh, my God. They love us in our mental health over there. How could we have ever known that our mental health issues would be helping so many people?
00:06:46
Who knew? What a nice payoff for having so many mental health issues. I mean, who knew it would pay off?
00:06:52
in the long run because of both yourselves and the facebook support group my mental health issues
00:06:58
do not have a hold on over my life anymore awesome thank you no thank you my mom now i'm
00:07:05
having a conversation by myself don't me to go my mom recently had to have her chimney swept
00:07:10
get your minds out of the gutter this is my mother hey hey get your minds out of the chimney
00:07:16
so she hired a company to do it my stepdad who was once arrested for murder while at sea
00:07:23
what was talking to this week oh we're just gonna breathe past that okay okay what um oh that's the
00:07:28
second story i get it oh shit i love it uh she explains that okay good okay this is gonna be a
00:07:34
little bit of a longie okay um let's do it okay so uh was talking to the sweep so her dad that was
00:07:42
arrested once for murder at sea was talking to the sweep the chimney sweep and he started talking
00:07:46
about the more interesting jobs they'd done recently the sweep said that they'd been hired
00:07:50
to sweep the chimneys at an old fancy house in monmouth um they were working on one chimney but
00:07:59
the brush got stuck this happens a lot because birds sometimes nest in them they went up to the
00:08:04
roof to drop a weight down to clear the blockage but it wouldn't budge oh my god the next step was
00:08:09
to estimate where the blockage was and carefully remove bricks from the chimney and pull the
00:08:15
blockage out that way. Ooh, that's like surgery. Oh, it's going to be a body. Lo and behold, after removing a few bricks, they find the skull
00:08:23
of a child. Oh my God! Yes. Now, you're on what I would imagine to be a slanted roof. Sure. Pulling bricks out of a chimney. And then you're rooting
00:08:35
around in there thinking you're just going to pull out a nest or whatever. Yoink.
00:08:38
A little tiny child. Oh no. The police were called, but it was soon established that this uh was the remains of a very young chimney sweep what apparently this was a
00:08:49
common occurrence as the sweeps would be overcome by fumes and die in chimneys oh my god whoever
00:08:56
hired the sweeps clearly gave no fucks and just left him up there that's insane oh my god i can't
00:09:02
wait to see you in manchester and may stay sexy and remember not to leave child laborers and fancy
00:09:06
chimneys riannon uh can you imagine the family that fucking lived there at the time like did
00:09:12
they tell them and they were like no okay i bet they didn't no i bet they didn't well because also
00:09:16
now i want to know from that family that house must have been haunted yeah a little skeleton up
00:09:21
in the chimney that whole time oh my god jesus you're up what are you doing you're so old you
00:09:29
have all these things hidden in you what's that do you want to read oh oh sorry yeah this is just
00:09:33
um that my dad's murder story my step-dad joined the merchant navy during the 70s because his mom
00:09:38
was a straight up bitch. Anyway, sometimes that's what you got to do. One time the boat docked and
00:09:46
my stepdad was in charge while the goods were being loaded and unloaded. And this meant that
00:09:51
there were some people in the boat who were unfamiliar with the ship's protocols. And there
00:09:54
were these massive doors on the deck to put goods in. And when the doors were closing, an alarm would
00:09:59
sound so that everyone got out of the way, probably because she was unfamiliar with the
00:10:02
ship's protocols. The poor, a poor woman got crushed to death by the closing door. And because
00:10:07
my dad was in charge, he was arrested for murder because I guess he was supposed to stop stuff like that from happening.
00:10:13
Anyway, he spent some time in an interview room while the local authorities made
00:10:17
inquiries and ultimately came to the conclusion that the death was a horrible accident.
00:10:22
He was also arrested on Espinoff charges one time. But we're not supposed to talk about that since step-grandma didn't
00:10:29
know what happened and like I mentioned before is a massive bitch. When she dies
00:10:33
I'll write to you again. Oh my god. Rhiannon, you're two for two. That was amazing.
00:10:39
That was great. Okay, this one is called... It's called, I'll see your $1,100 under a tree and raise you 100 genitals in an alley.
00:10:50
No. That's the name of it. Hello. And then it says, insert original greeting here.
00:10:56
Nice. Ladies, if minisodes can now feature stories about finding suspicious heaps of paper in public places,
00:11:03
I have got a mystery for you. During my second year of university in the stupidly uphill city of Bristol, I'd have an hour-long walk up a massive hill to get home and, mainly to avoid having to make small talk with classmates, learned all the little secret shortcuts along the way.
00:11:19
Wow. Fucking amen. Kind of love it. There was one particular shortcut five minutes from my home we called Murder Alley.
00:11:25
Not because anyone was killed there, to our knowledge. It was just a very long, narrow, closed in from above by trees, inhabited by rabid foxes,
00:11:33
and the kind of place you'd expect a man in a trench coat to leap out at any second and flash you.
00:11:39
You get the idea. Sure. Great. Absolutely walk through there. Yes. Get down in there.
00:11:44
Do it. One summer's day, I was wandering up Murdered Alley alone and came across a large brown envelope on the ground.
00:11:51
I looked around to see if anybody was there who might have dropped it. Nope Peeping out of the envelope facing downwards was a huge stack of photos I could tell by the markings on the back they were professionally printed and larger than normal size Bearing in mind this was quite a posh family area I bent down to pick them up thinking
00:12:08
oh, somebody's dropped their wedding photos on the way to show a friend. I'll have to look to see if I recognize any faces so I can get them back to the owner.
00:12:15
Oh, no. Turned the stack over and realized it would be very difficult to find the owner.
00:12:21
There were no faces, just photo after photo. of close-up photo of some very hairy lady parts against various backgrounds.
00:12:31
There may have been man parts, too. I don't remember. I just saw enough to appreciate that the lighting was pretty well done,
00:12:37
then freaked out, threw them all up in the air, and ran home. What a wedding that was.
00:12:45
When my three male housemates asked why I was so sweaty, I told them I'd stumbled across a huge pile of high-resolution vaginas and ran
00:12:53
because, well, nobody ever teaches you at school how to react in that exact situation.
00:12:58
That's true. All three immediately sprinted to Murder Alley to rescue the pictures.
00:13:04
By the time they got there, the envelope and its contents had gone. I don't know if it was found by a grateful passerby, but it was a bunch of f***ing kids,
00:13:11
the person who dropped them, or whether it was a setup from one of those prank TV shows.
00:13:17
Ten years later, I still wonder about the mystery porn and how it got there. Hope it found a good home.
00:13:22
Stay sexy, and if you find mystery genitalias in a dark alley, take them home with you.
00:13:26
They might be somebody else's cup of tea. Lots of murdery love, Charlotte. That is, I mean, it's hacky,
00:13:35
but I think that might right there to be the distilled essence of the difference between men and women.
00:13:43
Women pick those pictures up and are like, oh, my God, and throw them up in the air like Vera with the straws at the beginning of Alice,
00:13:49
and then three guys hear about it and take off running high speed i feel like i'd keep i feel
00:13:57
like i'd look at them put them back down and walk away i feel like up close vaginas with different
00:14:03
backgrounds just feels like nothing good yeah is happening i feel like also it's a good enough
00:14:10
story without needing proof like you don't need to bring them home like look what i found you can
00:14:15
also just saying this is what look oh my god i found this thing is like enough well also between
00:14:20
the time where you find them and you bring them home if they're just in your bag how do you explain
00:14:25
that to somebody that like what if you like something happened and suddenly you're like why
00:14:29
do you have 50 pictures of assorted vaginas when your bully comes and steals your backpack like he
00:14:33
does every day after school and then you become pussy backpack or whatever yeah you're the girl
00:14:37
nickname you're bringing pussy back do you want a really quick ghost story before we go or do you
00:14:43
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00:15:58
Quince.com slash MFM. Goodbye. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer,
00:16:04
Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent. The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14.
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It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye.
00:16:45
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Terms and conditions apply. See Pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. Goodbye. The subject line here is the hot dog murders.
00:17:10
Oh, no. Hello, Karen, Georgia, Stephen, and collection of pets. I grew up in a small town called Odeby next to, is it Leicester?
00:17:20
Good luck. Stephen, I think it is. L-E-I-C-E-S-T-E-R. Or is it Leicester? I think it's Leicester.
00:17:30
do you where nothing really happens except uh uh expect what is known except what is known
00:17:40
as the hot dog murders oh my disclaimer i wasn't born when this happened so all my information is
00:17:44
for news articles and my parents and friends in the early 1990s in leicester or leicester
00:17:51
or whatever the fuck this is. Leicester. Steven any luck Leicester Fuck yes There a reason I watch BBC America every goddamn moment of my life In the early 1990s in Lester there was a turf war between two rival hot dog van owners
00:18:08
Oh, my God. Which involved disappearances, protection rackets, and arson, among other things, such as two people being murdered.
00:18:16
Always seemed a bit over the top to me, to be honest. In August of 1990, Gary Thompson and John Weston were found dead in the Thompson home with around 60,000 pounds missing.
00:18:27
These murders were dubbed the hot dog murders as Gary Thompson was an owner of a chain of hot dog vans.
00:18:33
Two men were sentenced to life in prison for double murder after one claimed it was a burglary gone wrong.
00:18:39
However, the other man, Warren Slaney, still maintains his innocence, claiming that he was at a family party at the time of the murders.
00:18:47
The men convicted of the crime claimed it was due to a robbery gone wrong. However, when it was talked about in my hometown, they say it was set up by another fast food van owner.
00:18:57
I grew up around the corner from the house that the murders occurred in and have spent many a time listening to my dad.
00:19:04
Tell me the story about the man killed over the killed there over hot dogs. Bit weird. I know.
00:19:11
Personally, I like to believe that the murders were ordered by another hot dog van owner, like a fast food based gangster film.
00:19:17
however he was most likely a high-end drug dealer who used the hot dog vans as a front
00:19:22
and got shot when someone tried to rob him of the drug money i tried to find more information
00:19:27
however due to it being the 90s there wasn't much online due to it being the 90s anyway
00:19:34
thought you'd enjoy this as it's one of the stupidest names i have heard for murder
00:19:38
yeah that's why hot dog anything i love yeah thank you for your show you guys are helping
00:19:43
me through my mountain of uni work and you've given me a new love for podcasts yay stay sexy
00:19:49
don't get uh and don't start a fast food van chain ssgm alice oh now i want a hot dog hot dog vans
00:19:57
hot dog vans oh good the hot dog van's pulling up oh my god why isn't there a hot dog van in my
00:20:01
neighborhood because vans are the scariest vehicle oh yeah and hot dogs are the grossest food
00:20:06
but you can always go down to costco you're right you've solved my problems all of them
00:20:12
Let's hear that ghost story. Just a quick couple lines of ghost story. This is called Short Lighthearted Story.
00:20:17
Hello, Karen, Georgia, Stephen, and Creatures. This is a short and scary story that happened to my cousin Alex in London a few years back.
00:20:24
He was staying with my aunt for a couple days in her creepy, tiny, dark English apartment.
00:20:29
Alex was watching TV in the living room, and he heard my aunt calling him from the kitchen saying,
00:20:32
Alex, time for dinner, sweetheart. As he was standing up to go to the kitchen, he heard her shout out from the bedroom,
00:20:40
don't go in the kitchen i heard that voice too i'm a huge fan of the podcast stay sexy and don't
00:20:46
get lord mimi what that's all that's not enough what the please look send us your ghost stories
00:20:58
what voice was the real voice how does he know the one from the bedroom was really her well unless
00:21:04
the bedroom would be like don't go in there come in here instead come in here and get these knitting
00:21:08
needles out of my hand right come help me with my bunions come put your finger in the socket right
00:21:13
don't help me with my bunions come put your finger in the socket i'm gonna guess it's that one that's
00:21:18
fake but how will we know but what it was the ghost trying to like feed her to death with what
00:21:26
in the kitchen ghost food yeah oh right it's poison rolls i eat ghost food i love ghost food
00:21:33
It tastes ashy, though. Oh, ashes. Send us your ghost stories, please. God, that was unsatisfying.
00:21:42
It was almost I like it better than anything. I like it better. Because it's like almost like a B12 shot of ghost story.
00:21:49
Yeah. And you can fill in the rest of it with the B12 your body already makes. The idea that the person whose voice you heard, it wasn't that voice.
00:21:57
And the person is there. Yeah. Well, imagine the aunt. She's like, what the fuck?
00:22:02
I just heard my own voice. I mean, who was it? The twin sister that she in the womb had eaten.
00:22:12
Because she was the stronger twin. And then her twin sister was like, come have dinner.
00:22:16
And she's going to feed him her own. It's the revenge meal. She was going to feed her the placenta tacos.
00:22:25
Oh, that's good for your skin now. I know. I wouldn't mind. Placenta tacos is so gross.
00:22:30
I know. If this was an episode, this would be called Placenta Tacos. Okay, send us your stories.
00:22:35
My favorite murderer, Gmail. Thanks for listening, you guys. And stay sexy. And don't get murdered.
00:22:40
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00:23:03
Goodbye. If audiobooks are your thing, or if you've been meaning to listen to more of them,
00:23:08
you should check out a podcast called Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club, hosted by Cal Penn.
00:23:14
Each episode spotlights standout audiobooks on Audible across all kinds of genres,
00:23:18
sci-fi, comedy, romance, thrillers, and more, with Cal talking to guests who help break down what makes each story worth listening to.
00:23:25
It's a fun, easy way to discover your next great audiobook. Check out Earsay on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:23:34
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