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MFM Minisode 71

May 21, 2018 /

This episode of My Favorite Murder covers updates on public masturbation incidents at UC Riverside, a story about cousin Doris and stolen cash, and a tale involving a tiger sanctuary cult.

The hosts discuss a recent update about a serial masturbator on the UC Riverside campus, where two men were arrested for public indecency. The conversation highlights the reactions of female students and the humorous yet alarming nature of the incidents.

Next, a listener shares a story about her cousin Doris, who found a box of stolen cash and faced legal consequences. The hosts reflect on the poor decisions made by Doris and her husband after discovering the money.

Finally, a story about a listener's uncle involved in a tiger sanctuary cult reveals the manipulative tactics of the group and the uncle's eventual escape. The hosts comment on the absurdity of the situation and the uncle's new life.

Throughout the episode, the hosts maintain a humorous tone while discussing serious topics, making it both entertaining and engaging.

TLDR

UC Riverside faces public masturbation incidents; stories of stolen cash and a tiger cult unfold.

Episode

25:28
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00:01:55
aside from the podcast oh whoops whoa dude i've never seen steven so angry just quit
00:02:02
steven just ripped his mustache off and threw it on the ground sorry steven please come back
00:02:10
please come back please come back please come back and put that back on it's really creepy
00:02:16
to see you without it we don't just we can't have floating mustaches around here it's bad for the
00:02:22
So anyway, this is the mini-sode where we are in Europe. So we're pre-recording this.
00:02:30
It's all the time. It's hour four of recording. Yeah, we've done a lot of making sure everybody's asses are covered while we are in Paris, France.
00:02:38
We are not going to Paris for the third time. Joining Europe in the European capital of Paris, France.
00:02:47
I'm just going to laugh for this thing. You do the work. Sounds great. Great. This is a mini-sode.
00:02:53
Read me a story. Okay, good, because we're going to start with an update. Fuck yes.
00:02:57
Okay, and the update, it says, Update on the serial masturbator, and then S in parentheses after the end of masturbator,
00:03:06
in Riverside. Hello, MFM family. Let me just note, almost every single female graduate student in my department
00:03:12
went insane when you read the last email about the serial masturbator on campus.
00:03:18
almost all of us are diehard mfm fans and wait to listen to mfm when we work in our respective labs
00:03:26
so that we don't go crazy well hi everybody hi stay in school hi like we are going to
00:03:33
stop doing so many drugs and stay in school um also double freak out because now you're one of
00:03:39
the rare people that gets two emails but it is an update so don't other other hometown people
00:03:45
don't be so bitter. We need to know this information. Ready? Go. I just wanted to give
00:03:50
a quick update on the insanity of public masturbation that is happening at UC Riverside.
00:03:54
We just received, we just received a note that a second, yes, a second person has been arrested
00:04:01
for public masturbation on campus. One man, a 21 year old from Coachella, who's from Coachella,
00:04:09
was arrested last month. And a second man, a 27 year old from Riverside was arrested last
00:04:14
week. Holy shit. Cops, way to go in Riverside. They're on it. They're on it like crazy. I'm not
00:04:20
sure what the hell is happening. But the string of lewd activity has, I don't know why that's
00:04:27
such a funny phrase, lewd activity, has seemed to pull weirdos from out of our poorly lit dorm rooms
00:04:33
and are striking with a vengeance on campus. I've been on this campus for many years, so I've dealt
00:04:38
with the insane range of notices from UCPD, like the dangers of playing Pokemon Go,
00:04:45
where the email reads that Charizard, Charizard? Charizard. Charizard? Say it, Stephen.
00:04:54
I mean. Charizard. Say it, millennial. Explain it, Harry Potter. That Charizard is certainly rare and is an amazing find,
00:05:03
but you will mean nothing if you are hit by a vehicle because you stepped on the roadway in your attempt to catch it.
00:05:10
Wow. I don't understand any of that. We are much, much older than college students.
00:05:14
And when a psychology student was kidnapped during finals week a few years ago, and she convinced the perpetrator to bring her back safely to campus,
00:05:24
side note, imagine that conversation with your professor about postponing your exam.
00:05:28
I want her to write in now, please. College campuses are definitely shit shows for safety,
00:05:33
but I'm glad we get the information we need to stay sexy and not get murdered. Thanks so much for the countless hours you've helped me and so many
00:05:40
others. And a special thanks from the women in environmental toxicology and environmental sciences.
00:05:46
Cool. Claudia. Wow. UC Riverside. You guys. I love when we find out that smart people listen to the podcast.
00:05:52
It's, it's amazing. It an honor to be listened to by smart people It a mystery as to what you people think you doing Focus on your science They need to give their brains a break And so they listen to this
00:06:06
podcast. What is it about Riverside? Do you think that's so goddamn attractive that guys are just
00:06:12
jerking it left, right and center in public? Maybe we need to go to Riverside and find out
00:06:17
ourselves. Is it is it the weather? Steven, you're from the Inland Empire. What's going on in
00:06:22
riverside i think it's a lot of meth yeah oh yeah that's a bummer yeah so when you do meth you need
00:06:30
to masturbate publicly all the time your inhibitions are down true your meth is up
00:06:36
your meth intake is up you get those meth levels nice and high real excited and you're like i want
00:06:41
to share this with everyone yeah i'm so happy okay well yeah okay all right settled here's um
00:06:50
this is how cousin doris ruined her life by finding treasure treasure yeah hi karen georgia
00:07:01
steven and pets i'll be honest after listening to you guys for close to two years i'm both
00:07:05
thrilled i'm both thrilled to finally have a story for a minisode category and pretty terrified of
00:07:10
screwing this up all right kathleen don't screw this up you better fucking nail this kathleen
00:07:15
cousin doris was actually my dad's cousin so she's probably my second cousin or something
00:07:19
like that yes in the 1950s she lived on a farm with her husband out in the sticks of pennsylvania
00:07:25
late one night a friend of their stops in and asked him to hang on to a box for him yes no
00:07:30
problem won't look inside at all absolutely love to have that box give it here give it over he'll
00:07:36
be back to get it in a little while doris and her husband put the box on a top shelf in the closet
00:07:41
and forget about it without even looking at it yep better person than i am i bet it's his hat
00:07:47
or his hairpots. It's a little check stubs. About two years later, Doris is wrestling around
00:07:54
in that closet and knocks the box over. It falls to the ground and bursts open to reveal
00:07:59
cash. Cash? More cash than Doris has ever seen in her life. She and her husband go on a shopping spree.
00:08:07
She buys furs and he buys a beautiful Packard convertible. Wait, wait. How many years later?
00:08:13
Sorry. Two years later. So it's like 1950, whatever. Yeah, but where's the guy? They're just spending the guy's money?
00:08:19
Shh, shh, shh. Oh, sorry, sorry. There's only one problem. I think that they were just like, fuck it.
00:08:25
Yeah, cash. It's been two years. Nobody can prove that we did or didn't have this cash.
00:08:29
That's the problem with cash. There's only one problem. They live in a tiny rural town.
00:08:34
Everyone knows their business, and everyone super duper knows that they have no legitimate reason to have that much money.
00:08:40
The authorities get involved and eventually piece together that the friend who disappeared had robbed a bank.
00:08:46
hidden the money at doris's house then accidentally fucked off and died so it's horrible let's go ahead well i was just gonna say so if they had played it right
00:08:57
yeah you never buy a fur or a convertible that's why you don't need a fucking fur unless you live
00:09:03
in the mountains yeah yeah just move out of pennsylvania just you could go you could move
00:09:09
somewhere or you could just buy small nice things right every time you go to the drugstore
00:09:14
a new pair of hoes right something like that yeah go to sephora and do like a 250 dollar sweep
00:09:20
no one it knows the wiser the point is to be uh responsible with the money you've stolen
00:09:26
yes please be a practical uh thief and criminal yeah like of course not okay just use your head
00:09:36
ba ba ba ba ba uh doris and her husband are convicted of aiding and abetting receiving stolen
00:09:42
goods etc she does 18 months either in prison or jail i'm not sure which except here's the sad twist
00:09:49
oh doris was in her mid-20s at the time that this happened while she was locked up she started
00:09:54
hearing voices and being bothered by people no one else could see nowadays we understand that
00:10:00
that that the onset of schizophrenia is pretty common commonly common in a woman's 20s but as
00:10:06
far as my family was concerned, prison drove her nuts. Well, yeah. We called her crazy cousin Doris
00:10:12
until we understood that that was not a cute nickname. No. Which probably took way longer
00:10:17
than it should have. She got divorced pretty soon after getting out of prison and moved to California
00:10:21
and spent the rest of her life reading magazines about aliens. Hell yes. At least she was happy
00:10:26
about the little gray men not creeped out by them. Stay sexy, don't get murdered and be careful of
00:10:31
free cash, Kathleen. Am I crazy cousin Doris? Because that sounds like a dream life.
00:10:37
Reading magazines? In fur coats. But also sitting in a convertible. Right. You know how much you love your fur coats.
00:10:45
You know that I have a fox fur coat. Do you really? My Aunt Anne. A baby little fox.
00:10:49
I had to. I know. There's actually a stole that goes with it that has the fox head on it.
00:10:53
No, no, no, no. It's like a little piece of, I was going to say topiary taxidermy.
00:11:00
Oh, God. That's horrifying. It's because my two great aunts, also great aunts, they were two old maids.
00:11:07
Were they? Wait, is this the show Ab Fab? It's reverse Ab Fab. They were like very repressed Irish Catholic.
00:11:17
Neither of them ever got married. My Aunt Anne never went on a date. Virgins. And they used to work for the phone company.
00:11:26
The phone company. That's how they had that accent. Phone company. we worked down at the phone company and they'd go see a picture on saturday exactly right oh that
00:11:36
was a good picture uh and i guess they saved up their money and my aunt and bought herself
00:11:41
a full-on fox fur first nice thing she ever bought and only nice things you ever bought
00:11:46
herself yeah and so now it's in my closet i've put it on once it doesn't suit me
00:11:52
It suits a fox It strips a fox It awful It doesn even it not even like kind of cool looking Yeah yeah It doesn it upsetting and odd
00:12:06
And also it's that thing of like, there's people that get into stuff like that. That status shit.
00:12:11
Yeah. Where it's just like, well, cut to 50 years later when it's like a little bit moth eaten
00:12:15
and out of style. Yeah. And you'll feel very stupid for having spent like five grand on a coat.
00:12:22
It makes no sense. It doesn't. Is it my turn? It's your turn. okay this subject line of this uh uh hometown is my uncle was in a tiger sanctuary cult
00:12:33
yes yes yes and yes but timmy hi karen georgia steven and various pets i was hanging out with
00:12:40
a bunch of friends recently and we wanted to watch one of those scientology recruitment videos for
00:12:45
laughs well done but one of my friends freaked out and refused to let us watch it yeah that's
00:12:50
the coolest friend you've ever had oh i bet that friend's a fucking i don't watch a video on at my
00:12:55
house uh jim can you calm down jim's like dude no it's not cool it's not funny man the lukewarm
00:13:02
response i got to come on it's not that big of a deal everyone's got an uncle who used to be in a
00:13:07
cult made me start to think that this is not a universal experience and that you guys might enjoy
00:13:12
my family story i love it my mom's brother was working construction when he was brought in to
00:13:18
work on some of the enclosures in the Oregon Tiger Sanctuary. The sanctuary is operated by the foundation.
00:13:26
This is all like title caps. The Foundation for Meditative Studies, which is a group devoted to the teachings of Mafu,
00:13:34
an ancient spiritual master channeled by the group's leader. Channeled by the group's leader.
00:13:40
Oh, he channels this ancient person? Right. Oh, sorry. The group's leader, Penny Torres.
00:13:44
So I guess it's a woman who goes by the name Swami Parmananda Saraswati. Well, I'm going to join.
00:13:53
That sounds legit. Hear me out. We're only halfway through. Okay. According to Mafu, they're all about love and awakening and joy and whatever.
00:14:03
Sure. But according to, it literally says and whatever. But according to my mom and a couple of forum posts from 2006, they ain't all that great.
00:14:12
apparently after my uncle was done working on the tiger enclosures he was told that he connected with
00:14:17
those tigers so well that he should stay on and help them and stay on with them to help out i've
00:14:23
seen a bunch of accusations online about the classic nasty cult stuff that they have had going
00:14:29
on um that it's one big orgy the leader is a super violent is super violent to members and that they
00:14:35
take all your money and stuff but what i do know for sure is that they convinced my uncle that he
00:14:40
was being manipulated by his whole family and that he was finally free of their control once
00:14:46
he joined up with Mafu. He apparently left some really awful voicemails while he was there,
00:14:52
accusing everyone of manipulating him financially and emotionally and just accusing everyone of
00:14:57
some really awful stuff. I don't know how he got out, but he did. And now he's in a band with his
00:15:02
wife what the fuck he's in a band with his wife and he grows pot in montana so it sounds like he's
00:15:11
doing great so correct thanks for reading ssdgm erin wow that one needs an uncle like that an
00:15:21
amazing journey it was tiger cults i love the idea of it's kind of it's like um you finally find this
00:15:32
belief right something clicks in your life yeah and you're like that's it tigers yeah i belong with
00:15:37
that's right they're right i belong right tiger orgies this is me yeah this is who i finally can
00:15:43
be right i've been waiting for a thing my whole life yes and i'm super pissed yeah now i'm gonna
00:15:48
start leaving angry voicemails right so that people know that this is like i'm gonna burn
00:15:53
every bridge in town yeah i love that day like just like let's the short film that we're gonna
00:15:59
make is like that is tag that he joins the tiger cult he puts his his membership card next to the
00:16:05
phone picks that thing up and just starts dialing just starts just starts accusing everyone in his
00:16:10
family of molesting him just he pulls out the family phone tree you molested me and you were
00:16:17
rude to me at christmas right all right this is called all right here's another family story
00:16:23
This is called Family Mystery Light with a Rabies Twist. Yes. Okay. Hello to everyone.
00:16:32
Wonderful. Hello, everyone. I finally have a story to write in now that you've opened it up to rabies-related stories.
00:16:42
Amen. Yes. I grew up in Toronto as the youngest of four siblings. When I was about eight, we moved into a new house with an antenna pole in the backyard.
00:16:52
I don't know what that means. any child could easily climb to get to our roof okay my i think it was those they used to have
00:16:59
those things that you could hang your laundry on to dry and it was like it looked like it should be
00:17:04
a toy but it was just a kind of a thin aluminum and it had like things coming sticks coming out
00:17:09
of them that you use like ladder prongs exactly and you hung a ton of clothes on them okay as
00:17:13
opposed to like a cord that went across the yard i like it okay my mom verbatis off from going up
00:17:19
there but naturally my two older brothers were always playing around on the roof throwing loose
00:17:23
shingles at each other. You find weird ways to entertain yourself when your single mom can't
00:17:29
afford to send you to camp. That's right. Amen. Okay. One evening, when my mom was at work,
00:17:34
my brothers wanted me and my sister to play outside with them and sent me in to recruit my
00:17:39
sister. I returned to tell my brother she wasn't going to play. But when I walked outside, the
00:17:44
younger of my brothers, who was 10, who was 10 years old, is standing in the dark beside the
00:17:49
Okay Brother 14 is nowhere to be seen The injured brother and I go inside and I see he has a gash on his forehead from being hit with something When I go back outside I see my 14 brother come out of the backyard
00:18:05
and he sternly tells me not to tell mom about any of this. Fucking older brothers.
00:18:11
Was it a roof shingle? Well, when my mom comes home from work and sees the gash,
00:18:16
she flips out and makes my injured brother tell her what happened. And he says the older brother threw a shingle off the roof and hit him in the head with it.
00:18:23
My mom goes to get mad at the older brother who immediately denies it and says that he saw a bat, the animal, not the sporting good.
00:18:30
My mom assumes he's lying and makes me tell her what I saw. I said what I knew, that he was hit with something.
00:18:39
The boys had been on the roof earlier. I didn't know where the older brother was during the incident.
00:18:44
My mom wants my brother to confess, so she threatens to take the younger brother to get rabies shots if it really was a bat that hit him.
00:18:51
my older brother refused to admit it and we couldn't find the shingle on the ground as evidence
00:18:56
so my mom had to follow through with getting the younger one vaccinated luckily just a few months
00:19:02
earlier the rabies vaccine changed from a giant needle in your abdomen to a standard shot
00:19:06
to this day my older brother still denies throwing a shingle and i think it will always remain
00:19:11
my own little mundane family mystery with a rabies twist ssdgm cadence that's hilarious
00:19:18
Yes. Fucking siblings. The brother would have broken by now, wouldn't he? Yeah, no, I don't think so.
00:19:24
You think he would have stuck to it? Yeah. But there's no stakes anymore, right?
00:19:30
If he's like an adult, hopefully. Yeah, but some people are weird. Oh, you're right.
00:19:35
He probably enjoys that it's this thing. He made his brother get this series of rabies shots
00:19:40
because he couldn't admit he was a bad person. What if the brother had died from the rabies shots?
00:19:46
And then he had to live his whole life. like then he'd really have to double down and be like yep nope never threw that tile careful in
00:19:52
this area bats are really real fucked up in this area you know we had a bad issue in our family we
00:19:57
don't like to talk about it but it was pretty serious anyway killed my brother anyway anyway
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00:22:00
Goodbye. Did I go first? Yeah, we've both done two. Well, can we do three? Because the subject line for this next email is,
00:22:12
all caps, I got rabies at the Taj Mahal. What? Oh, I guess it's not that big of a deal
00:22:16
because Stephen picked all of these. Okay. I was like, what a coincidence. Oh, you thought it was coincidence?
00:22:21
No. It's not. He's always planning and scheming with that mustache over in the corner.
00:22:25
Stephen, rip it off your face. No. Okay. okay uh dear beautiful creatures human and animal well hello hello when i was 11 years old
00:22:34
what is this from paul holes no imagine oh my god could you imagine he's like uh girls listen
00:22:42
i just really quickly want to tell you about this raccoon yeah stop saying my name girls
00:22:46
please get rid of that hashtag i'm a happily married man i have a family and i like to put
00:22:53
my hands on my hips all the time when i was 11 years old i went to india with my mom and on our
00:22:58
last day thank fuck we went to the beautiful taj mahal we were touring baby taj tomb of uh
00:23:06
litemad ad daula i did my best we saw a swarm of adorable chipmunk like animals i will i will touch anything with fur parentheses even now i have yet to learn my lesson so our
00:23:23
guide said that they were very friendly and to try to pet them oh no trying to live out my snow
00:23:30
white fantasies i approached the odd ball of the group oh no this is just i don't want to hear any
00:23:36
more of this the real twitchy one over on the side that moves slow who just like can't keep up
00:23:41
with the rest of the pack and so it's making noises that that animal doesn't make chewing
00:23:45
its own fucking arm off. It's smoking. I approached the oddball of the group, which
00:23:53
turned out to be a huge mistake as it promptly jumped up, bit me under the nail of my middle finger, and
00:23:59
were to let go despite my flight despite my flight no it's my sister used to have hermit crabs when we
00:24:10
were like she was eight and i was six yeah and one time i picked one up and it just really slow
00:24:16
because they're just little tiny crabs went like this and like grabbed my thumbnail and i went
00:24:22
like that and like threw this poor hermit crab across the room cracked its shell very sad but
00:24:30
it scared the shit out of me so the idea that like a squirrel thing yeah having its teeth and
00:24:36
not letting go okay the guide eventually got him off my hand and went back to our hotel and we went
00:24:43
back to our hotel hotel to see a doctor the doctor who saw me told me very bluntly that i was going to
00:24:48
die they didn't have a vaccine and only one person has ever survived after not being injected within
00:24:58
24 hours post-infection um and she ended up in a coma so like great the flight home was 17 hours
00:25:06
my mom refused to take the next flight out because we already had dinner planned oh my mom talk about
00:25:12
mommy issues am i right we had to pre-order the vaccine back home as i live in new york city
00:25:19
and no one gets rabies from pigeons and the doctors were freaking out about my time frame
00:25:24
of course all caps when we landed my mom insisted on first showering unpacking and blowing out her
00:25:31
hair before taking me to the specialist mom kind of sucks mom is doing her thing mom dht dht she got a dht mom therapy behind this
00:25:44
dang um gotta look cute so when i finally uh saw the now exasperated doctor we had to give me
00:25:52
he he had to give me shots in my arm and the bite site so again under my nail i had to get shots in
00:26:00
my butt every day for a month. And the doctors told me that I definitely had rabies based on my reaction to the meds.
00:26:07
So please, don't sass me about how small rodents rarely have rabies. It can happen.
00:26:13
Oh my god. Well, thanks for making me feel relevant. Your podcast is getting me through life and law school.
00:26:21
Stay sexy. Don't pet the weird chipmunk just because you think it could benefit from some attention.
00:26:26
All my love. Kaylee, I know my parents threw in all the letters. oh my god that was hilarious i love that i i'm glad that we get you through your life that you
00:26:36
can live despite your mother's best efforts to fucking kill you from rabies kaylee your mother
00:26:43
was from i bet you my mother's same generation where it was everything no matter what was
00:26:49
happening she'd be like put a little lipstick on yeah or calm down it's all they cared about yeah
00:26:54
you're going to a doctor's office please pull a brush through your hair karen you're going to the
00:26:58
You're going to a doctor's office. You're taking a plane flight. Yeah. You're going on Southwest in sweatpants?
00:27:05
Yes. Yes. Yes, and I don't give a fuck. And now I wear sweatpants all day, every day.
00:27:10
Are they jeggings? Are you happy? Are these jeggings I wearing a fucking muumuu What am I talking about right now Like a literal muumuu uh if you have any jeggings or muumuu stories we want to hear them please send them to you i want any your
00:27:24
your fucking mom just almost killing you stories here's the thing this is a rich area yeah because
00:27:33
especially if you had a parent who was if you had a mom who was a nurse like my mother shook off
00:27:38
my sister broke her wrist and my mom's like it's fine just take your coke can and put it up against
00:27:45
it girls please don't make a big deal i'm fine it's my day off and it turned out she had a broken
00:27:51
no apologies though no like oh i screwed up no no because it was always like you know she knew
00:27:57
yeah she knew everything because she was a nurse yeah so anyway i'm sure there's lots of other
00:28:02
types of moms that did the exact same thing i want how your mom uh traumatized you yes as a kid
00:28:08
like anything from you sat out in the car while she drank in a bar to simply refused medical treatment
00:28:19
yeah yeah I mean definitely want those bring it here the thing like I got a perm
00:28:25
she made me do fucking you know beauty things she made me wear matching clothes with her oh
00:28:32
tell us thanks for listening it's been fun If you have any ideas for areas you want to tell us about, please send them to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com.
00:28:45
That's right. Thank you for listening, you guys. And stay sexy. And don't get murdered.
00:28:49
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This episode stands out for the following:

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Episode Highlights

  • Discover Earsay Podcast
    Check out Earsay, a podcast hosted by Cal Penn that spotlights standout audiobooks.
    “It's a fun, easy way to discover your next great audiobook.”
    @ 00m 57s
    May 21, 2018
  • Summer Collection by Pure
    Pure's new summer collection captures fleeting moments with clean fragrances.
    “Bring the feeling of summer home.”
    @ 01m 24s
    May 21, 2018
  • MFM's Mini-sode Update
    An update on the serial masturbator incident at UC Riverside sparks a wild discussion.
    “What the hell is happening?”
    @ 04m 20s
    May 21, 2018
  • Cousin Doris's Treasure
    A story about cousin Doris who found hidden cash and the consequences that followed.
    “Stay sexy, don't get murdered and be careful of free cash.”
    @ 10m 31s
    May 21, 2018
  • Rabies at the Taj Mahal
    A humorous yet alarming tale of getting bitten by a chipmunk-like creature in India.
    “I got rabies at the Taj Mahal.”
    @ 22m 12s
    May 21, 2018
  • Mom's Priorities
    A comedic reflection on a mother's priorities during a medical emergency.
    “My mom insisted on first showering unpacking and blowing out her hair before taking me to the specialist.”
    @ 25m 24s
    May 21, 2018
  • Stay Sexy
    A light-hearted reminder to take care of oneself amidst chaos.
    “Stay sexy. Don't pet the weird chipmunk just because you think it could benefit from some attention.”
    @ 26m 22s
    May 21, 2018

Episode Quotes

  • The best parts of summer aren't just places.
    MFM Minisode 71
  • What the hell is happening?
    MFM Minisode 71
  • Stay sexy, don't get murdered and be careful of free cash.
    MFM Minisode 71
  • I love the idea of finally finding a belief that clicks in your life.
    MFM Minisode 71
  • I got rabies at the Taj Mahal.
    MFM Minisode 71
  • Please, don't sass me about how small rodents rarely have rabies. It can happen.
    MFM Minisode 71

Key Moments

  • Podcast Recommendation00:57
  • Summer Feelings01:07
  • Serial Masturbator Update04:20
  • Cousin Doris's Story06:50
  • Rabies Incident22:12
  • Mom's Priorities25:24
  • Stay Sexy26:22
  • Mommy Issues26:43

Tension Over Time

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown