00:00:00
This is exactly right. Isn't some far off concept? It's already here. Next starts now.
00:00:33
Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. When a charming neurosurgeon rode into Frontier Town
00:00:39
selling a persona of confidence and care, patients trusted him. He wore cowboy boots in the operating room
00:00:45
and became sought after by patients. He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies.
00:00:51
This is a story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice. Listen to Dr. Death the Cowboy wherever you get your podcasts
00:00:58
or binge the entire series right now only with Audible. Goodbye. The best parts of summer aren't just places, they're feelings.
00:01:07
It's the scent of fresh ocean air, sun-warmed skin, and long evenings outside. Pura's new summer collection is designed to capture those fleeting moments and make them last.
00:01:16
Restore your sense of place with clean, premium fragrances you control from your phone.
00:01:21
Bring the feeling of summer home. Discover the collection at Pura.com. Goodbye. Goodbye.
00:01:28
My favorite murder About family. If you have a cool older aunt, that's family friendly.
00:02:02
She can be into it. Yeah. And this is the episode where you guys send us your stories.
00:02:07
We just read them to you. Yeah. And listen, I'm sure you're thinking, I wish I had a story to send it in.
00:02:12
You do, because we've asked for everything. So if you have a funny, weird story.
00:02:17
Yeah, there's pretty much anything. Just think of the story that you tell if you are sitting in, say, a meeting and they go,
00:02:23
go around the table and say the most interesting thing about yourself. you know you can pull something out of that and then if you tell it and the whole room is quiet
00:02:31
and no one talks to you again we want to hear that's our story that's the one we want to hear
00:02:36
that's what you owe to us you know what send us the stories of the time you told a really awkward
00:02:40
weird story that you shouldn't have told tell us that story and the time you told it uncomfortably
00:02:45
please great um topic all right you want to go first you want me to always this is a nice subject
00:02:51
line that gets us right in dude pulled a sword i love it um karen georgia stephen et al i live
00:03:00
in the boulder at all this is at all oh you haven't met at all he's my um stylist oh yeah
00:03:06
he did my hair like this uh it's a good visual joke but bad for podcast i live in the boulder
00:03:14
area and a few months ago i got this text from my roommate telling me not to come home until he says
00:03:20
everything's okay. Chill. Uh-huh. I, with my paranoia brain, thought something horrible
00:03:25
had happened in our apartment. My dog got hurt. My roommate murdered someone and had to clean up the blood,
00:03:32
et cetera. So I text back, freaked to shit, asking what happened and if everyone's okay.
00:03:38
He responds that he and Sam, the dog, were fine, but that our neighbor was having a standoff
00:03:44
with the police who had their guns out. No. With my paranoia brain at full force,
00:03:48
I now assume that my roommate is messing with me. To prove the situation, he takes a picture of six cop cars and cops with
00:03:55
their guns out of their holsters. I am freaked out entirely and called to get the scoop, which is as
00:04:01
follows. My roommate is sitting on our couch and hears pounding on the door. Assuming it is ours,
00:04:07
he looks at the people and then realizes that a man is pounding on the door across the way.
00:04:11
These apartments are direct access, so the doors are all on the outside. And we look about eight
00:04:17
feet across a deck to see our neighbor's door i got there visually i'm there see i'm there
00:04:22
immediately it's the woodbridge what i was gonna name it's a vintage woodbridge the woodbridge
00:04:30
apartments in sacramento is what i'm thinking i'm from woodbridge the town i'm from is woodbridge
00:04:35
it is karen that's nuts that's great listen to me um okay so he right he sees a man knocking on
00:04:44
the door pounding. Our neighbor opens the door and they instantly start screaming at each other with
00:04:50
words such as, how could you do that to her and you still have blood on your shirt.
00:04:55
Being yelled. Okay. Got it. Our neighbor, who's apparently a crafty liar, says that is barbecue
00:05:02
sauce, not blood. After a minute or two of this heated exchange, the man pushes our neighbor who
00:05:07
retreats into his apartment and comes back with, not kidding, a samurai sword. What?
00:05:14
He then takes a swing at the other man, cutting him across the fucking neck. Holy shit!
00:05:19
This guy starts bleeding profusely and runs down the stairs and out of my roommate's line of sight,
00:05:25
yelling that he was going to call the cops. Parentheses, sadly, I have no further information regarding the man with the cut neck.
00:05:31
We'll hear. We'll hear back from you. We'll hear. The sword wielder went back inside his apartment.
00:05:37
My roommate was frozen by the door, unsure of what to do, and a couple minutes later, he hears sirens and all these cops show up.
00:05:44
They then start knocking and yelling through my neighbor's door to throw the sword out and then come out with his hands behind his head.
00:05:50
This goes on over half an hour before our neighbor finally does as they say. Just do it Just do it I can assume that my neighbor went to jail because he never came back Yeah I know Or he just had to get away for a while
00:06:05
And about six weeks later, six weeks of us being freaked out, living next to a dude who slices people's necks of swords,
00:06:12
I saw that he had been evicted from the apartment and all this stuff was on our parking lot.
00:06:17
Go through it. Sadly, the sword was not included in the items. We just moved into this apartment in August,
00:06:24
and that is the fourth neighbor we've had. So I can only assume that the apartment is haunted
00:06:29
and it makes people do things like this. Stay sexy and don't cut someone's neck with a sword.
00:06:34
Courtney. What was the cause of the blood on his shirt, I wonder? It sounds like that guy in the apartment
00:06:41
did something to a woman. What and who? And that guy that got his neck cut confronted that guy.
00:06:48
I know, but I want to know what happened. Oh, right. Tell me. that's the part two she will drop next week okay this one's called teeth teeth teeth all caps
00:07:00
exclamation marks literally that's the subject line sweet hi mfm fam on monday's mini so georgia
00:07:07
said when i think of the first scary thing that you would find in a box or fucked up thing it's
00:07:12
always just been loose teeth yeah yeah i stand by that i knew i had to tell you about the best job i
00:07:19
ever had working as a museum technician for a medical history library slash dental museum oh
00:07:25
yes where i literally had stacks of human teeth from like a hundred years ago all over my desk
00:07:31
uh it was part of a medical school near where i went to college and basically i spent about
00:07:36
two years rummaging through all their old-timey medical stuff doing research and cleaning out the centuries of gunk off of them fun i started listening to your podcast
00:07:46
while I worked there and staring at a skull wearing dentures adds a little je ne sais quoi
00:07:51
to hearing two cool gals talk about gruesome murders. So in no particular order, here's some of the wild shit about that job.
00:07:59
Yes. 100% love this. Loving it. When they were building a new hospital building on the grounds near the library 10 or 15 years ago,
00:08:07
they discovered that they were digging right on top of what used to be the city's potter's field,
00:08:12
a.k.a. where prisoners or anyone else who couldn't afford proper burial gets buried.
00:08:18
Oh, poppers. What's that called? Poppers? Potters. Potters. Oh. Yeah. The city jail down the road that provided some of these bodies, including notorious high
00:08:28
rape robber S. Lavinia Fisher, is well known for being super haunted, and I've been on
00:08:36
ghost tours there multiple times. Wow. God, I want to live in a place like that.
00:08:40
Also, apparently, when they excavated some of these graves, a few people were, all caps,
00:08:46
FACE DOWN, meaning it's possible they were buried alive. Yikes. Oh, no. Didn't they bury people who were, like, super evil face down, as in, like, you can't look
00:08:56
up at heaven? Maybe. Someone tell us. So many things... Maybe God himself. That'd be nice.
00:09:04
Here's the next one. So many things were in the collection that just had no information on it in the system.
00:09:10
I found a loose human jawbone in a box once with no idea where it came from. One time I put in the hours I worked wrong into the system.
00:09:20
I put in the right number of hours, but for the wrong days. And my boss told me it was fine as long as I hadn't committed any crimes while supposedly at work, since they wouldn't be able to provide me with an alibi.
00:09:30
It wasn't until after I walked away that I realized I had been holding a Benzedrine inhaler, an amphetamine that people used to use for fun for the entire conversation, which is definitely super illegal to have if you're not part of a medical museum.
00:09:47
Even then, we wouldn't be allowed to have it with the content still inside if the lid weren't sealed shut from rust.
00:09:53
Basically, I was doing way more crimes at work than out of work. someone stole an old Chinese IUD from a display case once what no we have no idea who did it or
00:10:04
why since that was literally the least interesting thing in the exhibit I hope to god they didn't use
00:10:09
it oh no no no you can't just put that in there yourself no no Planned Parenthood like free or
00:10:17
low cost you know go there it's not that's not a DIY situation that's not an OB tampon situation
00:10:24
Shout out to Planned Parenthood. While I was working there, they were in the process of building a new children's hospital,
00:10:29
which happened to be right on top of the former site of the city's tuberculosis sanitarium.
00:10:34
Jesus, they're trying to build haunted houses. They really are. They're like, let's stir up some shit.
00:10:40
That's all they got. Is the mayor Dracula? What's happening? If that spot isn't already super haunted, I'm sure sick and dying children is not going to help.
00:10:51
Thanks so much for all the great work you do. and I can't wait to see you guys in Charleston in September
00:10:55
for my 22nd birthday. Stay sexy and wash your hands well after handling body parts. Danny.
00:11:02
Wow, so young. 22nd birthday. 22. She's a little baby. Wow, that's good. Annie, if you work at a museum,
00:11:11
and I don't want to steal from the beautiful History Channel television show, Mysteries at the Museum.
00:11:18
Oh, I love him so much. I love that guy. He is so insanely earnest. it's hilarious you know i know we've talked about this but you know him yeah uh don wildman yes
00:11:29
because we like we're had the same we were at like a dinner together when i was on cooking channel
00:11:34
nicest man you've ever met in your life yay the nicest friendliest earnest oh what do you guys do
00:11:40
oh that's so exciting like so but he had like a worn leather jacket on too yeah he always wears
00:11:46
that leather so handsome what's his deal i don't know he was great i feel like that's the show when
00:11:52
we on the road in America that the show that always on when you come home from a show Definitely And then you like I want to learn about haunted sailboats or whatever I love mysteries at the museum Totally Good job Don Wildman
00:12:05
Don Wildman. Okay. Sorry about that. Karen. Karen just finished a Diet Coke. She's got a, and a huge cup of coffee.
00:12:15
So she's a little wired. I'm a little bit wired up and I might what every once in a while.
00:12:20
I will say this to somebody, because I talked about, um, on the, on the last. weeks no two weeks ago episode of my fucking hooray was the season two of marcella marcella
00:12:31
marcella and somebody wrote on twitter wrote to me and said what are you doing you didn't even
00:12:37
mention how beautiful rav is who's her who's another detective in the department and uh i can't
00:12:44
i don't think i wrote back to her but i was about to write back to her saying i'm trying not to do
00:12:49
that anymore just oh talk about men you find attractive and then the and then all the murderinos
00:12:54
make fucking gifs about them and humiliate you and tag them tagged on wild and start hashtags and
00:12:59
then i have to face their faces i look right into their fucking faces and be like i am the thirstiest
00:13:06
woman in podcasting it's pathetic it's pathetic someday it'll it'll get you i think it's gonna
00:13:14
pay off your second husband is gonna come from one of these listen we haven't met paul onions yet
00:13:20
Maybe he's just as thirsty for you. Poor Paul Onions. I guarantee he's not. Okay.
00:13:26
This subject line is lured by tanning beds and shopping. Don't do that. Hi, ladies and Steven.
00:13:32
So when I was about 14 and finally figuring out that maybe I was better than my, quote,
00:13:38
just do it shirts and basketball shorts. Amen. I entered what I like to call my Barbie phase.
00:13:44
I love it. I spent most of my time at the mall and in a tanning bed. adventurous I know oh honey so funny this is what we do when we're teens it's like you just
00:13:54
want to go back and forth and try it all out I did those during this time we had just moved
00:13:58
into a new house that I had and had an electrician over to help us with our shitty meter
00:14:03
um he should he who shall not be named hit it off with my parents and was over the house
00:14:10
almost two to three times a week no he was charismatic younger and very protective of me
00:14:17
She's 14. Some days he would pick me up from school. I don't like it. This is an electrician.
00:14:23
Gain the trust of the parents. Hey, can you pick up our 14-year-old daughter who's tanning and wearing tiny clothes?
00:14:30
You're our electrician who's also a mere acquaintance. Yeah. Would you mind going to?
00:14:35
We trust you now. Get our preteen daughter. Or our freshly teened daughter. Freshly teened.
00:14:40
Okay, so some days he'd pick me up from school, pick me up from the tanning salon, and even come to my shows.
00:14:45
I am a musician. One day he had picked me up from some sort of event and he said he had to make a quick stop at his house and he wanted me to come in and show me something.
00:14:54
Oh, God. I enter his house and it's immaculate, probably because he didn't own much of anything.
00:15:00
Then he directs me to the basement. No. And looking back now, I have no idea why I wasn't freaking, fucking freaking out.
00:15:07
My mother would be disappointed. Does he lull you into fucking? No, your mom is at fault.
00:15:12
Your mom, he lulled you into a sense of security. We're going to sue your mother.
00:15:17
his basement's pretty his basement's empty you know but i'm i'm i wonder if they knew he was
00:15:23
picking her up from school or if he was like rolling on by like hey what's up you just got
00:15:27
out i'm right here like that kind of shit yeah sorry mom uh i mean we'll we'll deal with her
00:15:33
later you could be you could be in the wrong mothers are usually wrong i'm usually yeah okay
00:15:38
so his basement is empty except for all the goddamn swords on his walls and sitting pretty
00:15:46
Beneath them was, you guessed it, a tanning bed. He bought one just for me so I could tan for free at his house.
00:15:54
Explain my face right now. Georgia looks surprised in a 50s beer commercial style of like, oh my God.
00:16:03
I would look more surprised if I hadn't had Botox. Yeah, but your eyes are nice and wide.
00:16:07
I'm really seeing that expression. The Botox lifts your brows a little bit, and so you look a little more awake.
00:16:12
There's lots of surprise all the time about nothing. That is fucking, that's a coffin.
00:16:19
It looks like a coffin. You know, a tanning bed looks like a coffin. Getting a 14-year-old to come to your house and tan in your basement.
00:16:28
And also a tanning bed costs, I don't know, I would guess at least as much as a car.
00:16:33
Ten grand, probably, I'd say. Yeah. Especially back then when they were all the rage.
00:16:37
Right? Okay. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Now, I finally get my first red flag.
00:16:42
that's when she sees a tanning bed in the basement under swords shit and start to think something's
00:16:48
not right he gets a phone call apparently it's uh some man on the other line promising him money
00:16:54
like some sort of loan he finishes the call and says he's just received a loan for a few hundred
00:16:59
thousand dollars and he's taking me on vacation i love it when vacations are forced upon you
00:17:05
here i am alone with this man who i've probably known for a few months and he wants to take me on
00:17:09
vacation i ask if my boyfriend can go and he says no because we're leaving in the morning
00:17:14
and then he takes me to the mall tightly holding my arm and picks out lots of clothes for our
00:17:20
tropical journey oh my god my toes are squeezy yeah this is insane the whole time i'm scared
00:17:26
shitless but really loving what he's picking out jesus christ 14 he drops me back at home and tells
00:17:33
me to keep our little vacation a secret okay i get up the next morning and my parents told me he
00:17:39
called and would like to take me mini golfing i woke up with a sore throat and my parents declined
00:17:44
thank you streptococcus he he still decides to take the trip and a week later we receive a call
00:17:51
that he was found dead in his hotel room i even can i just say steven who knows he picked this story out so he knows it is staring dead at me just waiting for my response like he knows what you reading and he just like Georgia face
00:18:05
get ready oh my god uh he's found dead found dead in his hotel room I still don't know his real
00:18:12
intentions but I can guarantee you they weren't fucking kosher you think anyway stay smart all
00:18:18
caps sexy and don't trust minimalist electricians with tanning beds next to their sword collection
00:18:23
love a very much alive Dakota update yes Dakota because I need to tell me okay I just realized I
00:18:29
didn't mention how he died heart attack nothing fun but still dead body okay I wanted to know
00:18:34
that but Dakota please have you ever told your parents the story because I want to know how they
00:18:40
reacted um yeah I mean well yes they would I bet she didn't tell them till she was an adult
00:18:47
oh by the way remember that time you were gonna let me go mini golfing yeah like tell remember
00:18:54
when i made friends with the electrician and i bet her this is my mom would have said well
00:18:57
you would have been fine like she wouldn't have taken any oh god i almost got my daughter killed
00:19:03
no janet also we got a guy to come paint our house once uh when i was a little kid and my
00:19:09
mom ended up dating him for months but he was like the bet he wasn't a nightmare monster yeah
00:19:15
He was like, my mom should have married him, but he was poor, so she wouldn't. Oh, damn it.
00:19:19
I don't know what happened to Ammon, but I almost had a good stepdad. Oh, Ammon.
00:19:24
Okay. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent.
00:19:30
The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14. Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense,
00:19:38
rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust. Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation, and Hyundai doesn't either.
00:19:44
Hyundai has always moved the future within reach. Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle.
00:19:50
Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra fast charging capability. And Hyundai continues doing it every day.
00:19:57
From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far off concept.
00:20:03
It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye.
00:20:09
This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. It's 2026, and if you have an alternative career like food photography or professional mixtape making or witchcraft, you're going to need an online presence.
00:20:20
Whatever your thing is, Squarespace helps you build a website that's as unique as you are.
00:20:24
Squarespace provides you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place.
00:20:28
From consultations to events and experiences, you can showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business.
00:20:36
Get paid on time with professional invoices and online payments. Plus, streamline your workflow with built-in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools.
00:20:44
With Squarespace's collection of cutting-edge design tools, anyone can build a beautiful, professional online presence that perfectly fits their brand or business.
00:20:51
Head to squarespace.com slash murder for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code MURDER to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
00:20:59
Goodbye. Summer clothes should feel easy and still look polished. Low maintenance, high reward. That's how we live our lives.
00:21:08
For summer clothes you will actually wear, there's Quince. Quince has beautiful everyday pieces like 100% European linen pants, dresses, and toffs with styles starting at $32.
00:21:17
Their denim is soft and easy to wear, and their organic cotton sweaters are perfect for layering on cool summer nights.
00:21:23
Everything at Quince is priced 50% to 80% less than similar brands because they work directly with ethical factories, so you're paying for quality, not brand markup.
00:21:31
And it's not just clothing. Quince has become a destination for elevated essentials across the home, kitchen, bedding, and beyond, making it easy to bring a more premium feel into everyday life.
00:21:41
I am a fan of Quince. Yeah, Karen's wardrobe is Quince. I'm a lazy basics person, and the things that I get from them, I always go, oh yeah, now I'm wearing these. They work, they're cute, they're stylish.
00:21:54
And they're classy. Like it doesn't look lazy, it looks classy. And it's so affordable.
00:21:59
Yeah. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash MFM for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's quince.com slash MFM for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash MFM. Goodbye.
00:22:16
this is called the napkin eaters is this about supermodels no isn't that cotton balls tissues i think anything well here we go maybe that's the answer
00:22:31
dear karen georgia steven and assorted pets i'll just jump right into it because i'm pretty sure
00:22:36
this has only ever happened to my friend and i and it's fucking weird this happened when my friend
00:22:40
devin and i were sophomores in college we went to a dining hall pretty late on a saturday night
00:22:44
around 11 30 and since it was a weekend and most people were out we were the only two people there
00:22:48
besides the workers since it was closing soon all the chairs were put on the tables for the night
00:22:53
besides the big long table uh we were at so we sat by ourselves at the end of it soon after we sat
00:23:00
down a group of 10 to 15 kids came in but they looked younger than us like they might be in high
00:23:05
school which was strange because not only was it weird to see high schoolers on campus but it was
00:23:11
11 30 on a saturday night blah blah blah probably wasn't some admission event blah blah blah they
00:23:16
sat at the same table as us and we were only separated from them by a seat or two and we
00:23:21
kind of gave each other a look but decided it wasn't that odd because like i said the seats
00:23:25
the other tables would flip blah blah blah blah okay um the girl at the head table who looked like
00:23:31
she might have been a bit older than the rest passed out stacks of napkins to everyone and i
00:23:37
I remember thinking it was weird because none of them had any food. But I thought, stop being weird and analyzing these people and their napkins.
00:23:44
Then, after passing out the stack of napkins, the lead girl said, Ready? With a complacent smile.
00:23:50
And to our horror, all caps, the kids suddenly began rapidly shoving the napkins into their mouths.
00:23:56
What? We literally did not know what to do, but they were sitting... right next to us just shoving napkins into their mouths but they weren't even laughing or
00:24:06
acknowledging how fucking weird they were being at all and that's what made it even more bewildering
00:24:11
yes we looked at each other in complete shock but literal tears streaming down our faces from trying
00:24:16
not to laugh got up and left because they didn't know what else to do we ran upstairs to our suite
00:24:20
where we could see the dining hall from our window and they left soon after we did and it looked like
00:24:25
they were marching in a line we tried to explain to our suite mates what had just happened but they
00:24:29
looked at us like we were crazy. I even tried googling rapid napkin eating to see if
00:24:36
anything came up, but no dice. To this day, we still have no idea why those people did that
00:24:41
or who they were, but let me tell you, there is something oddly threatening about teenagers shoving napkins
00:24:48
into their mouths, especially in such close proximity to you without warning. Stay sexy, don't get
00:24:53
murdered, and watch out for napkin eaters, I guess. Hannah. Whoa! Someone email us and tell us
00:24:59
what the fuck that was all about. You know what the first thing it makes me think of is,
00:25:03
remember that cult, the Garbage Eaters? No. Yeah, it's, they did this really amazing special on it,
00:25:09
I think on 60 Minutes. And it was like one guy, it was this, it was this really bizarre cult.
00:25:15
Like dumpster divers? Yes. So basically they would get college students, they would recruit on college campuses.
00:25:21
So it was, everybody was like in their early 20s. And it was basically, do you like the life you're leading?
00:25:27
You know, do you think it matters? Do you think you're doing something important?
00:25:31
And they would kind of break these super scholastic, intelligent students who were searching for more.
00:25:39
Smart ones, like really smart ones who were sick of the, what's the point of this schooling I'm doing?
00:25:44
Exactly. Like, why am I working so hard? What am I? And then I'm just going to be a lawyer or whatever.
00:25:48
And they would basically entirely cut themselves off from their family. The families were all chasing them around the country.
00:25:55
and they were going around the country and they would live in um abandoned they would squat in
00:26:01
abandoned houses and the there were girls in the cult they weren't allowed to cut their hair
00:26:06
they all wore they kind of looked amishy but like homeless amish and that's gotta be a look
00:26:12
in like fucking williamsburg yeah yeah that's true and they would the it was the boys job to
00:26:17
go out and and like recruit all day and then the the girls had to it was like very like old school
00:26:23
where the girls stayed home, took care of the house, would collect, they'd all collect garbage,
00:26:29
like dumpster diving, you know. Freegans. Freegans out of the back of the grocery store,
00:26:35
the rotten lettuce and shit. And yeah, and basically read the Bible and prepare for the apocalypse.
00:26:41
Shit. But really young and they would, it was really crazy. What was it called? I think they're called the Brethren or something like that.
00:26:50
Someone tell us about them. And they might not be around anymore because their leader died, but I could be wrong.
00:26:55
But it's really, really intense, like young people's cult. And these family members, it's so tragic.
00:27:01
It's smarter to recruit really the smart kids. Yes. And not just like dumb followers.
00:27:06
It's just like... No, smart people are the most susceptible because they don't think they're susceptible.
00:27:11
Oh, yeah. And they're the ones that like question and get in their heads about stuff.
00:27:15
Or they've been so obsessed with school and grades and shit that when a social clique comes and like wants to recruit them
00:27:21
and wows them, suddenly they're like, I haven't had this ever. Yep. Because you and I aren't that smart
00:27:27
and we would never join a cult. We would never because we're dumb. One more for you,
00:27:32
one more for me. Yes. And this one, it's actually, oops, sorry. Now we're being thematic
00:27:38
because this is also about a cult. Great. I almost joined a cult, Nexime. That's how you pronounce it.
00:27:48
Nexime. Oh, that's the branding one. That's right. so NXIVM might not sound familiar but it N I didn know that how you said it Yeah I looked it up on Wikipedia Oh I heard of that
00:28:01
That's my cult, Wikipedia. Wikipedia is my cult. Hi, Karen, Georgia. My town, a suburb of Albany, New York.
00:28:09
And then it says in parentheses, the capital. Learning something new every day. Think you're fooling information.
00:28:17
is the proud incubator of societal infection, Nexime, and patient zero himself, Kenneth Renier.
00:28:27
The cult's headquarters are a two-minute drive from my house. Oh, shit. At a job fair I attended at my school,
00:28:32
a liberal arts college not far from my home, I was introduced to a company called The Knife of Aristotle.
00:28:39
Sounds chill. Great. Which is totally cult-sounding, I know, but I was soon to be an unemployed English major,
00:28:48
and I just figured my fellow millennials were getting extra creative with their startups.
00:28:52
The guy I met looked like any of my brother's Brooklynite neighbors, hipster chic, and then in parentheses, vom, and harmless.
00:29:03
He invited me to a meeting at another college to discuss a position at the company.
00:29:07
You're like, great, let's look at your dick first. Sorry, Jesus Christ. just for just to know the just to know no like he's cute so she's hitting on him oh i see that
00:29:20
out no i love it okay please it's who you are it's who you are i'm a dick asker that's here
00:29:26
at the knife of aristotle we support everyone every way you are okay so here's the red flag
00:29:31
roundup love it there were only three of us college kids all girls at this meeting and two
00:29:37
company employees, which the meeting took place in a small classroom. Here we are in the
00:29:43
super informal setting, and this kind of mousy chick introduces this slick guy while he
00:29:49
stands up. She literally introduced him to the three of us like he was the fucking keynote at a
00:29:55
national conference. Sidebar, dude has three names, Jensen Eric Gould. They show us a super creepy
00:30:03
culty video loaded with bias. this company's whole shtick is stripping the media of its bias naturally i think it's like a test or
00:30:13
a joke but when i brought that up they looked at me like i was the one with too much gel in my hair
00:30:17
fucking weirdos the whole time this the woman lets this guy talk over her she stared up at him
00:30:24
adoringly with her chin in her hand she was practically drooling i wrote it off as a personal
00:30:29
thing thinking maybe they were together or maybe she was in love with him and he didn't give her
00:30:33
the time of day. You had to pay to be employed. No, they offered an analyst training course that
00:30:39
cost something absurd, like $5,000. Yeah, right, buddy. I may have been a student at a rich ass
00:30:45
school, but my tuition was remitted dream on. They offered frequently awarded scholarships,
00:30:51
though, I was given an application. By the end of this, I honestly, I honestly couldn't care less
00:30:57
about the weird, weird vibes, because this would be a dream job. Work from home, make bank, and actually apply the close reading skills I'd perfected at school.
00:31:07
Thankfully, my aunt did about five minutes of vetting online when I told her about it.
00:31:12
Cool aunt saved the day. When I told her about it and figured out that this company is just a giant front for the Nexime cult.
00:31:22
What's more, the publication that exposed this, the Times Union, was one I asked them about in the meeting.
00:31:29
And they said, it's okay. Why do you ask? And she put like nine A's. Also, what laziness from the two colleges involved?
00:31:40
They apparently didn't know how to Google things. Wow. The company proceeded to call me incessantly for the next three weeks before giving up I would have ended up making the cut anyway for many reasons I wouldn have ended up making the cut anyway for many reasons most notably because they apparently showed potential female members
00:31:58
graphic film footage depicting rape and sexual abuse, and those who had little to no reaction were advanced in the cult.
00:32:06
What? And those who freaked out were nexemed. See what I did there? That's what she wrote.
00:32:14
I was going to share the story with my local news, but then i was like nah fuck it i'll just rather i'd rather tell karen and george
00:32:20
i'm also salty that all those times i thought i saw some chick who looked like from chloe from
00:32:26
smallville in my town it was actually motherfucking chloe from smallville oh that's right oh my god i
00:32:33
can't breathe she's like the head one of the heads of that cult yeah uh thanks for being awesome ssd
00:32:39
gm natalie that natalie natalie good looking out for yourself first person and this weird shit i
00:32:47
like all of those red flags of like if it's all women but it's supposed to be recruiting for a job
00:32:53
that's a problem i once when i was in a court i worked at a court reporting agency and i needed
00:32:59
a new job there was this court reporting agency i was always hiring and i got their uh application
00:33:05
and like one of the questions was like, are you okay with the teachings of L. Ron Hubbard?
00:33:09
And I was like, I really fucking need a job. Like I can just go work there and not join, right?
00:33:16
But it was like, you know what? I don't want to find out. Yeah, because their whole goal is to make you join.
00:33:23
So like any way you think you might be able to be strong about something, they've already thought it through
00:33:29
and broken people down. I mean, good call to not test it. Yeah. cults man this is called rocky the mortician listened to my heart too oh do you remember
00:33:41
oh yes the heart yeah i didn't remember that their name was rocky so was it last
00:33:47
week okay yeah it was last monday last monday if you remember it so let's talk about this
00:33:53
hello karen george steven in menagerie i was sitting on the bus listening to the minisode
00:33:58
when i heard something that transported me to the past i have long tried to forget in around
00:34:03
2009-2010, I was working as a sex worker and I placed an ad on Craigslist Personals,
00:34:08
RIP, looking for fetish customers as this was better money than full service sex and also
00:34:14
not strictly illegal. Sometimes I ended up doing full service for fetish clients, but sometimes I was lucky and
00:34:20
they just wanted me to stamp on their balls. Or one time, listen to my heart with a stethoscope.
00:34:25
Oh, shit. Girl. Yes, that's right, ladies. A man called Rocky contacted me and wanted me to come to his apartment
00:34:32
and then let him listen to my heart for $200 an hour. Looks like he hasn't put his prices up in years.
00:34:38
What a tightwad. My boyfriend at the time drove me to his apartment and waited outside as he usually did when I worked.
00:34:45
Rocky was short, middle-aged, and I remember that he had dark hair and was kind of balding.
00:34:49
Nothing wrong with that. He wanted me to get undressed but keep my underwear on and lie down on the bed as still as possible.
00:34:56
I did this, and he began placing the stethoscope on different points of my body.
00:35:01
Then he told me to try and breathe as shallowly and little as possible. I was pretty fucking creeped out, but I didn't get the feeling that he was particularly dangerous.
00:35:10
He listened to my chest and torso with his stethoscope for a long time and was also lightly stroking my arms, which, to be honest, felt pretty good.
00:35:20
That would be nice. Yeah. After the time was up, he stopped. I got dressed and he gave me a soda.
00:35:28
he seemed quite lonely and was very polite he told me that he had a young woman living with him
00:35:33
who he was helping out getting her back on her feet etc but they had recently gotten into an
00:35:37
argument and she had moved out or did you get i assume her part of the deal was the stethoscope play and now he had a look on craugless to satisfy his weird kink i didn ask him what the deal with the playing dead thing was as I didn want to make him angry Oh god Yeah I didn see him again because although it was easy money it was just too sinister This all happened
00:35:58
in New York. I'm not going to say where she says some other shit and he didn't tell me he was a
00:36:03
mortician. I'm pretty sure this was the same guy though. How many Rockies with stethoscope
00:36:09
that issues can there be. I really hope that his kink hasn't escalated into something more dangerous
00:36:15
and sinister. Yes, I do too. Another funny coincidence. I also now work in law like the other Rocky girl. I got off drugs,
00:36:24
went to law school, and I'm about to start work as a criminal attorney. Fuck yes, girl. Maybe Rocky
00:36:29
had some kind of magic legal career touch. Or maybe he was just a creep. Thank you, ladies, for always showing sex workers
00:36:37
respect and giving victims a voice no matter who they are hell yeah stay sexy and don't get murdered by a weird mortician love lily lily
00:36:45
wow oh my god one day rocky's gonna email us and tell us everything about it if someone knows
00:36:51
about it yeah look listen look i'm really not a creep i'm i'm not a creep when i was eight
00:36:58
i had this loving doctor there's gonna be some story it turns out that there also was a spell
00:37:04
put on me that every woman i touch turns into a lawyer which is like the best he's actually a
00:37:09
Highlander. He's an ancient wizard. He's been around for a long time. I mean, if you have a fetish and you want, I mean, what the
00:37:17
fuck? He paid them well. He didn't come on to them. Yes, he didn't harm anybody. He didn't threaten
00:37:23
anybody. But I think it is telling that even though he didn't harm her and it wasn't bad,
00:37:31
she still vibe-wise was like, don't do that again. 100%. I think that's interesting
00:37:35
and great that she listened to herself. Definitely. don't go back yes exactly go mash those balls instead all right um thanks for listening send
00:37:46
us your stories we wouldn't have a mini set without them god that stethoscope will live
00:37:52
in my heart forever there's like yeah there's um send them my favorite murder at gmail is where
00:37:56
you send them please and we want to hear anything weird about yourself yeah and you know think of a
00:38:01
straight to the point subject line i think helps steven a lot right yeah okay yeah um and please
00:38:08
stay sexy and don't get murdered goodbye elvis what cookie yeah we should just glue a cookie to
00:38:16
the microphone cheap caribbean summer savings event is here right now get a hundred dollars
00:38:23
instant savings on vacation packages to cancun jamaica and the dominican republic whether you're
00:38:29
chasing poolside drinks white sand beaches or endless all-inclusive fun cheap caribbean helps
00:38:34
you get more beach for less money. Book your summer vacay today at cheapcaribbean.com. Goodbye.
00:38:40
This may surprise you, but clothes that feel good and look good don't have to be mutually exclusive.
00:38:45
Designs that make you feel as good as you look is what Hill House is known for. Hill House Home
00:38:50
invented the viral nap dress. Hill House makes fun, versatile fashion that elevates your look.
00:38:54
I now own three nap dresses. I love them. They're so comfy and cute. Pockets for days.
00:39:00
for days. You know, get 15% off your first order of $100 or more at hillhousehome.com with code
00:39:07
MFM15. That's MFM15 for 15% off at hillhousehome.com. Goodbye. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup, Hyundai has its eyes on the next
00:39:17
generation of talent. The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14. Because
00:39:22
next doesn't wait for an invitation. And Hyundai doesn't either. Hyundai has always moved the future
00:39:26
within reach. Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle. And by engineering
00:39:31
EVs with ultra fast charging capability. And Hyundai continues doing it every day because the
00:39:36
future isn't some far off concept. It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner
00:39:42
of FIFA. Goodbye.