00:00:00
This is exactly right. Isn't some far off concept? It's already here. Next starts now.
00:00:33
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selling a persona of confidence and care, patients trusted him. He wore cowboy boots in the operating room
00:00:45
and became sought after by patients. He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies.
00:00:51
This is a story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice. Listen to Dr. Death the Cowboy wherever you get your podcasts
00:00:58
or binge the entire series right now only with Audible. Goodbye. Where does summer take you?
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00:01:58
don't have any feelings towards time doesn't exist says the privileged non non-office working
00:02:06
person oh that was so privileged i mean look we're quite privileged in the fact that i never
00:02:12
know what fucking day it is and i can be a half an hour late for everything i do because no one
00:02:18
can fire me typically mondays aren't the best right because you're tired from the weekend
00:02:24
Trying to get back on that, you know, no more carbs. That's always me on Monday.
00:02:30
But now for real, no more carbs. Mine is now for real, I'm going to start taking my vitamins.
00:02:35
And now for real, I'm not drinking. Every Monday. No, never happens. I mean, but this is what we do.
00:02:44
We need to reset. Every day is a new beginning. Every Monday is a new life waiting to happen.
00:02:50
Take your vitamins. Stop eating carbs. Please. or just, you know, go light on carbs.
00:02:55
Yeah, less carbs than normal. They recently had something come out to say that like pasta isn't bad for you.
00:03:02
Yeah. Again, you just can't trust anything anyone says. I think with the, I read that because I was like, yay.
00:03:08
And I was just like, just don't, just do everything in moderation, dummy. It's just like everything.
00:03:13
Yeah, but easy for you to say article to tell me to eat spaghetti in moderation.
00:03:17
Yeah. What feels better than shoving a shit ton of spaghetti into your mouth all at once
00:03:22
until you almost choked. Dude, and it's like covered in fucking cheese and stuff.
00:03:28
Is that how you do yours? Hell yeah. That's how I do mine, butter and parm. Butter, parm, ton of pepper.
00:03:33
It's called cacao, whatever. What? It's like a thing. It's like a pepper thing. Like it's a pepper movement?
00:03:43
Is it a pepper trend? It's a pepper. It's like a, you know, just a ton of pepper.
00:03:48
In your parm and butter pasta? Yes. Yeah, I'm 100% behind that exact mix. Let's go eat it.
00:03:53
And if you can make it that cheap Parmesan cheese, it's probably not real from Kraft.
00:03:59
I hate it. Vince calls that shaky cheese. Shaker cheese. I think it's what they call it as kids.
00:04:03
Shaker cheese? Yeah, because you just shake it out of the thing. Hell yes. Not that kind of girl.
00:04:07
Oh, I'm 1,000% that girl. My mom was very big on real Parmesan, grated over fresh if possible,
00:04:14
and real maple syrup. And Vince is fucking shaker cheese and log cabin. Log cabin.
00:04:20
No. My mom was real butter, real mayonnaise. Anytime Miracle Whip came into the equation, she had like a one-woman show about how much she hated Miracle Whip.
00:04:30
Oh, I love it. So we never had any. It was like the dairy-based things that always had to be real.
00:04:34
But then she was the queen of like minute rice and frozen corn, you know, for dinner.
00:04:40
I love it. I do too. The first time Vince ever cooked for me when we were like dating was he made me shake and bake.
00:04:47
oh i was like oh i like midwest guys yeah this is cool they know it's important feeding you how about just a night like what if he brought you a hot dish
00:04:57
you're just like i'm not going to take you out here's a casserole for you to keep
00:05:00
for yourself 100 100 keep for yourself good night you can eat this at any time i don't have to be
00:05:06
involved until our next date it's like it's your life it's like you're playing funeral i love it
00:05:12
okay you go first okay we read your shit here we go here we go you know that it's like my funeral
00:05:16
Okay. The subject line of this email is I should have gone bowling. Okay. Hey, homies.
00:05:25
Perfection. When I was around 13, I was hanging out with two girls that lived in my neighborhood,
00:05:30
and we were outside laying on my trampoline, chatting with each other on a hot summer night.
00:05:34
Sounds like fun. So good. My parents had tried to get me to go bowling with them, but being as I was 13 and too cool to hang out with them,
00:05:41
I, in parentheses, probably not so politely, declined. Anyways, it was around 8 or 9 at night, dark outside, and nobody was home.
00:05:50
It's the perfect beginning. While we were chatting we noticed a white van pull up outside my house and park but nobody got out of the van It just sat there for about a half an hour with the driver still inside engine off we were a little creeped out but not enough to go
00:06:05
inside after a while the driver got out of the car it was a man in all black clothing with a hoodie
00:06:10
on no and he had the hood over his head and uh was facing the ground so we couldn't see his face
00:06:16
he started briskly walking into my yard still looking around and walking right toward us
00:06:21
At this point, we were definitely freaked out and we hopped off the trampoline and ran onto my back deck to go inside.
00:06:28
As we reached the back door, the man walked up the stairs on the other side of the deck and was a few feet away from us as we realized that my asshole parents had locked us out when they went bowling.
00:06:38
Holy shit. At this point, the man was still coming towards us and we sprinted off the deck and ran straight to one of the other girls' houses only to find that nobody was home there either.
00:06:48
Dude, nightmare. Her parents had locked the doors thinking she was safe at my house.
00:06:53
The other friend lived two streets away. We had to pass by the van to get there.
00:06:57
So we creeped through a few yards and saw that the van was still there. When we got to the other girl's house, thankfully her mom was home.
00:07:04
Unfortunately, though, she laughed off our paranoia and wouldn't let us come inside because it was a, quote, beautiful night.
00:07:13
Asshole. So we hung out. That was in the email. So we hung out on the girls front porch for a while until I figured my parents would be home.
00:07:21
And I decided to walk back when I got there. He could have been breaking into their house.
00:07:26
Yes. Any number of that. That mom should be arrested. When I got there, the van was gone.
00:07:31
And in its place were several police cars. Oh, really? Mom who was saying stay outside.
00:07:37
She's going to have to live that down for the rest of her life. As it turns out, this guy had gone onto everyone's decks in the five backyards that all faced each other.
00:07:46
had turned on the gas grills and left. The police said that there was enough gas in the area at that point
00:07:53
that if somebody had lit a cigarette nearby, there would have been an explosion.
00:07:57
To my knowledge, they've never caught the guy or found out why he did it, but needless to say, I spent a lot of time with my parents that summer
00:08:03
because I sure as hell wasn't staying home alone. Oh, my God. S-S-D-G-M-S-J. Wow.
00:08:10
That's a good one, huh? Man, when parents don't believe kids and their shit, I'm just like, you fucking, you have no one to blame but yourself.
00:08:19
Well, also, it just feels like it's, that's a remnant of another time. Or first of all, what parent in this day and age is like, stay outside past dark?
00:08:28
Yeah, don't come inside. It's a gorgeous night outside. Like, that's, that doesn't get said.
00:08:33
13 year olds don't make up strange man stories. That's like an eight year old, maybe.
00:08:37
True. And yeah, what would be on the other? It's not like they're saying a crazy man is outside.
00:08:41
Can you please buy us something? They just want to get inside the house. Fucking asshole.
00:08:46
It's so crazy. Okay, let's do... All right. This one is called, I scanned a serial killer.
00:08:53
Okay. Hello, all. I work as a CT technologist in a hospital, and over the years, I've had to do scans on
00:09:01
numerous inmates from jail slash prison. After I finish their exam, I always do a Google searches to see why they are incarcerated,
00:09:08
which is not always such a good idea. It always creeps me out how the most polite, well-behaved ones are usually, not always, the ones in jail for rape or murder.
00:09:17
Yes. Anywho, I was working the night shift when a name popped up on my work list for a patient in the ER.
00:09:24
I grabbed a questionnaire we filled out for all the patients before an exam and started to fill it out when my co-worker happened to look over my shoulder and yelled,
00:09:31
Holy shit, do you know who that is? the name didn't look familiar to me and when inmates come in the ER I don't uh I don't know
00:09:39
their inmates until I walk into the room and see them in a jumpsuit surrounded by prison guards
00:09:43
so my co-worker proceeds to tell me that he's a serial killer and his murder spree spanned 15
00:09:48
years and seven states being a murderino I immediately googled his name and sure enough
00:09:53
it was him and then it says due to HIPAA laws I can't say his name real or serial which is a clue
00:09:59
I think or where I work because I could lose my job slash license and a girl has got to eat.
00:10:05
Yeah. But that means he has a, he had a serial killer nickname. Oh, okay. So like,
00:10:10
I think she's giving us a clue. He's well known. Yeah. Um, he's serving two consecutive life sentences in a prison about 90 miles from
00:10:16
the hospital. So armed with this knowledge, I'm about 60% excited to do his scan and 40% scared shitless.
00:10:22
Of course, when I go to get him, he's accompanied by two armed prison guards. He didn't talk to you much,
00:10:27
but was polite and followed my instructions. and everything went normally. I tried desperately to act like I didn't know who he was or what he had done,
00:10:34
but I felt like there was a giant blinking red neon. I don't know why I put the word red.
00:10:38
It's not there. Oh, I just saw red. That's what you see. Blinking neon sign over my head that said, I know what you did.
00:10:46
I had about a million questions to ask the prison guards, but I figured I needed to act like a professional
00:10:50
and damn near bit my tongue in half, trying not to pepper them with question after question.
00:10:55
Once it was all done and over, and I had that feeling of, holy fuck, did that just really happen?
00:11:00
We're off. My next thought was, I need to email Karen in Georgia and tell them about this.
00:11:05
Hopefully you guys get a kick out of the story because no one else I told seems as excited as I was about it.
00:11:10
Thanks for doing such an awesome podcast. Getting an alert on my phone that there's a new episode available
00:11:14
is the highlight of my day. Keep kicking ass, S-S-C-G-M-J-C. Oh, man. Yeah. We're the first thing
00:11:21
that comes into people's mind when they hear anything about a serial killer. God bless.
00:11:25
You know what? that actually makes me think of is somebody there was a story uh from like a month or a couple weeks
00:11:31
ago did you read that story about that two women or two people i shouldn't say that was sexist
00:11:36
actually two people who worked at the hospital in either auburn or sacramento accessed the golden
00:11:43
state killers medical history and they both got fired yeah i don't think you should have done that
00:11:48
no no you can't do that that's stupid it's literally against the law yeah you can't you're
00:11:53
not allowed to do that. It not smart But I was like were they working there for the summer That dumb and and then it just like why so you know he allergic to penicillin there
00:12:05
no there's no benefit it's not like he's gonna have a lower back tattoo that says i'm a fucking
00:12:09
serial killer yeah i buried a bunch of other bodies up in auburn that you need to find out
00:12:13
about if only that tattoo you know that popular tattoo yeah everyone gets the really long one yeah
00:12:19
it's the flash art that you just pick off the wall i'll have should i get a bumblebee or should
00:12:23
I'm sure where the bodies are buried. Okay, ready for this one? Always. Subject line is,
00:12:31
Sinkhole tried to take my baby and avoiding cults. I've been, no greeting whatsoever.
00:12:37
Great, I love it. You don't need one. I've been meaning to send in my sinkhole story
00:12:41
and was sparked to pause catching up on the latest episodes after hearing you mention the garbage eating cult.
00:12:46
I met them. Sorry I was catching up because I spent two weeks in the woods and listening to MFM in the woods is scary as fuck.
00:12:52
and and i know i shouldn't have even been in the woods in the first place surrounded by dusty white
00:12:58
people but i needs my nature therapy onto the stories okay okay my cult story when i was doing
00:13:07
my second attempt at college a group of friends invited me to a free dinner fucking red flag red
00:13:12
flag no there there's no such thing as free dinner lunch or breakfast only this is me talking not the
00:13:19
email yeah and also that's every cult in the world every religion is like come to our mixer
00:13:25
spaghetti dinner come to our spaghetti dinner shaky cheese spaghetti dinner i'd be there in
00:13:30
one second if i was like 23 and that's how they get you okay so we're back in the email now okay
00:13:36
when we got there it was packed with people and they were serving up typical midwest hot dish
00:13:41
oh my god hey vegan and meat option why i remember this who knows right away i got really weird
00:13:47
vibes from this dude who had organized the meal and had his little crew with him. They started
00:13:52
talking Jesus stuff and how all the food was free from the dumpster. Oh my God, that's not what you
00:13:59
want to say. I laid it out of their fast because of bad vibes, gross dumpster hot dish, and I was
00:14:06
so over Jesus. I had no idea it was a cult recruitment until I heard your episode. I don't
00:14:11
know if anybody from school officially joined them, but I know that they held a number of dinners,
00:14:15
and a few of my friends really got into going to them. I feel like my school was too into partying hard to join their cult,
00:14:22
but I do know people really got into the idea of dumpster diving free food and not paying rent by squatting all over town and campus.
00:14:30
Fuck. That's how they get you. The glamorous life, Sheila E. Okay, now we're back.
00:14:36
My sinkhole story. Sorry, there's no second. A few weeks after my first daughter was born,
00:14:42
we had to go to a midwife checkup appointment. We were broke as fuck, didn't have a car, so in the dead of summer I had to walk with my new baby a mile to the bus stop.
00:14:52
Oh, God. When the bus finally came, I was dying for some bus air conditioning, but a guy got off through the front door, halting my entrance, and I remember thinking, dude, you're supposed to get off the back door.
00:15:02
There's a system here. But being a typical Midwesterner, I said nothing and just shamed him in my mind.
00:15:09
Anyway, after he had gotten off the bus, we stepped on and heard a loud crash behind us.
00:15:14
We turned around and the sinkhole where we were just standing. Oh, the sidewalk where we were just standing was gone.
00:15:21
And so was the dude. No, a sinkhole had opened up and swallowed him. The bus driver radioed 911 or whoever told them what happened.
00:15:30
Someone on the bus was like, back up the bus. It could open wider. And I was like, get me and my new baby off this bus.
00:15:37
We all got off the bus and could hear the man screaming and the sound of water rushing to fill the hole.
00:15:42
we tried to yell at him that help was on the way but he couldn't hear us and just kept screaming
00:15:46
it was all so unsettling to say the least emergency services finally showed up and was able to get him
00:15:52
out he was all bloody but able to walk and was taken away in an ambulance like a jerk i can't
00:15:57
help but think if he had just followed the rules maybe he wouldn't have ended up in that hole
00:16:06
my mom later said that if we had been the ones who had ended up in the hole we would be rich
00:16:11
for settlement money. I was just going to say, but yeah, that guy got a fucking big settlement
00:16:15
from the city. I guess that's where I get my a-hole ideas. That's right. It's usually hereditary. Hope you like my non-murder
00:16:22
and everybody lives stories. Lastly, I just want to say thank you for bringing to attention
00:16:26
your struggles, mental health, addiction, eating stuff, etc. It feels like healing. That's so nice. Also, thank you for talking about
00:16:35
what's happening to Native American, Indigenous women, people in this country and in Canada. Being a member of the community
00:16:41
and working for it for a number of years, I unfortunately have more than one story
00:16:44
of someone I know who was murdered. I don't think I will ever be able to write those stories in an email, but I
00:16:51
am grateful that you two have helped give voice to the victims. It feels kind of awkward
00:16:55
to send a fangirl letter, but I love you guys so much. SSDGM Tessa. Aww. Oh, that was a lovely,
00:17:01
lovely email, Tessa. That's lovely. I feel like we have to really quickly give credit to
00:17:05
the podcast Missing and Murdered because they are the ones who are doing the incredible work on the indigenous people.
00:17:11
Yes. God, the 60th suite, man. That turns out to be the... Everyone listen to Missing and Murdered.
00:17:17
Missing and Murdered. Well, I think because we did talk about Wind River, but that idea that that is based on the fact that indigenous women get murdered
00:17:27
and none of them get solved. No one works on them and none of them get solved. So yeah, we could definitely be doing more.
00:17:37
And we've barely done what lots of other podcasts have done. But as long as everyone talks about it, we can all talk about it together.
00:17:44
That's right. Thanks, Tessa. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent.
00:17:51
The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14. Making plays that end up on everyone feed scoring from angles that don make sense rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust Because Next doesn wait for an invitation and Hyundai doesn either
00:18:05
Hyundai has always moved the future within reach. Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle.
00:18:11
Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability. And Hyundai continues doing it every day.
00:18:17
From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far-off concept.
00:18:23
It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye.
00:18:29
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Terms and conditions apply. See Pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.
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00:19:40
Goodbye. Hey, let's do a quick depressing one since we're there. Not depressing, but, you know, it's uplifting in a depressing way.
00:19:53
Here we go. Okay. This is called Hometown Sort of, ugh, Charlie Manson. Oh, got it.
00:19:59
Hi, Georgia and Karen. I have become a recent murderina because a friend told me you guys do hometown murders where people tell their personal stories.
00:20:06
It made me start thinking about why I became a true crime lover, and it all stems back to my family murder.
00:20:12
Fucking Charlie Manson. I decided to listen to you guys as about a month ago, and I started from episode one.
00:20:17
I wanted to delve into your world after a lifetime of knowing I was a descendant of a victim of a sick hippie fantasy.
00:20:23
I can't agree with you more that his weirdo crimes don't deserve as much attention as he pined for his whole life.
00:20:29
I even had a stupid, and it says in front of the sparkling can wine, moment of breaking down crying when he died because I thought such a cowardly human died in such a cowardly way.
00:20:39
But after listening to your story on my long ass commute in LA, I wanted to tell a different side of the story.
00:20:44
Leno and Rosemary LaBianca came from a well-to-do Italian family. They were given lots of opportunities and had a very lovely LA circle of friends and family.
00:20:53
My grandmother is a LaBianca, and her son, my father, was often babysat and very close with his cousins, Rosemary and Leno.
00:21:01
They were living the dream. However, their murder does not define who they were.
00:21:04
It was random, awful, painful, shocking, and something this family would never truly recover from.
00:21:10
It is often forgotten when compared to Sharon Tate. After all, she was an icon, star, beauty, and all-around wonderful person.
00:21:16
We can never take away from her murder and what her family endured. But I do hope we don't forget that other members of another family continue to suffer from this hippie atrocity.
00:21:27
I still live with artifacts from the murder house on Waverly Drive that fateful 1969 evening.
00:21:32
And I don't want to remember that asshole who did what he did. But I do want to remember my cousins who didn't get to choose their fate, who were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
00:21:42
The LaBianca family suffered and continues to suffer with the feeling that randomization is inevitable.
00:21:47
Oh, God. But I hope to just bring a voice to these victims. I call my family and continue fighting for all victims and their families who are looking for answers.
00:21:57
I appreciate my anonymity and stay sexy. Don't get murdered. Wow. I'm about to cry.
00:22:04
It's so true. I will say this just from my perspective is I read Helter Skelter way too young.
00:22:12
the LaBianca murders are very prominent in my mind. And I understand what they mean that there is like,
00:22:21
that's the gross part about the true crime is the fame element. And there anytime they can,
00:22:27
anytime like the media or any of us, if you pull a good story through, that's the thing that,
00:22:33
that goes first and foremost. But I remember when I read Helter Skelter, it, it really does strike you how horrifyingly random.
00:22:41
random and tragic it is that they just lived along the way it was just like this thing where
00:22:46
it was just this like older happy couple who lived you know right near us yes in this just
00:22:53
up in the hills and it's so random and and and terrible and terrifying and yeah so that's a great
00:22:59
point yeah but that's that was beautifully written in a like that perfect thing of like but these are
00:23:04
victims too but like but i want them not to be thought of as this way but i do want people to
00:23:08
know how fucked up it you know it made a whole family and yeah it's a lot of good points there
00:23:13
yeah yeah thank you for writing that yeah so i have a positive one we can not a positive one i
00:23:17
have a funny one we can end on okay do you want to do that sure okay um i don't know if i should
00:23:22
tell you that i'm not going to tell you what the title is save it save it save it Mimi Elvis Stephen
00:23:27
Georgia and Karen that's new sure oh i guess this is before Dottie um well they they really picked
00:23:34
and choose who they were going to mention. Dottie and Frank and George are out. Goodbye.
00:23:40
So it says, you know, I never really had a good murder story to share, except my mom's friend was
00:23:45
just recently on the prosecuting team for the huge Holly Bobo case in Tennessee. Look it up if
00:23:50
you don't know it. It says, but as soon as you said to send in stories of an awkward time,
00:23:54
you've shared a story in a group that you regretted. I knew just the thing to send in. So a
00:24:00
back I was trying out a new church uh a new church group and someone had the best proposal
00:24:05
for a weird icebreaker question if you could choose a liquid to come out of each pointer
00:24:09
finger for the rest of your life what would it be a fucking creepy and disgusting awesome question
00:24:18
yeah you point Karen's pointing at her mouth while laughing with her finger okay wait let
00:24:24
me keep going because I know you guys are going to say this you can imagine most people said coffee
00:24:27
or something boring and safe like that coffee growth and then it says points to the girl points
00:24:33
to the girl who said gasoline free gas forever and chapstick even though chapstick is debatably
00:24:39
not a liquid it is not a liquid and it's so cheap that's what you're gonna go for also gasoline
00:24:44
would burn your finger yeah she would make a lot of money probably um but either way every answer
00:24:50
was still significantly less awkward than mine. Maybe lip gloss. Yeah, but not still.
00:24:58
Okay. Naturally, I wanted one finger to be a steady stream of margarita, but considering it was a church thing,
00:25:05
I figured I'd say Diet Coke for one finger. Nice. Having gone towards the end, my slight social anxiety got the best of me in that time.
00:25:12
I was waiting and gave me lots of time to think of a good second liquid. Being the natural freaking goody two-shoes I am,
00:25:18
I answered really seriously and honestly and came up with, this is all caps, breast milk.
00:25:25
No. Yeah, you heard me right. Breast milk. Imagine the group of college-aged girls and guys who, of course, were strangers to me.
00:25:34
Before I could explain that the reason was because I'd go to Kenya and there are some really and some very undernourished men and babies who need breast milk to survive.
00:25:42
I'd already lost the crowd and been deemed the total weirdo of the group. Yeah, they were right to do that to you.
00:25:47
Good. No recovering from that one. Moral of the story. Feel free to open up to new people, but maybe only to a certain extent at first. Don't take a goofy icebreaker question to a serious save the world level. If you ever feel like margarita is an inappropriate answer, just go ahead and rule out breast milk, too.
00:26:05
thanks for the laughs and fascinating stories you've given me and all my friends in architecture
00:26:10
school as we were up all night it's hilarious and for continuing to bind us post-grad with your ssdgm
00:26:18
dgm meaning group message oh um love y and goodbye polly ann p can you two and steven please share with us what liquids you guys would choose to come out of each pointer finger all answers accepted
00:26:32
MFM is a safe space bullshit Pollyann you fucking weirdo with your breast milk not all answers except oh
00:26:40
okay cause here's what's hilarious about that I love the idea that she's like okay I gotta play
00:26:44
to this crowd which I will tell you right now is always a mistake when you think you need to play like you're going to play to a crowd
00:26:50
wow them you're gonna get it wrong make them laugh or i'm gonna do anything for this crowd yes
00:26:55
secondly you could have just said milk and it would have been oh yeah yeah the breast milk
00:27:00
chocolate milk chocolate milk you didn't have to name the country you thought you could go to
00:27:07
where people were so poor like everything about that it was like when you're shooting for the
00:27:11
stars like this is how i'm gonna be good incorrect oh my god there is an incorrect answer to that oh
00:27:16
I love it so much. Incorrect answers are more fun anyway. Oh, shit. First thing I could think of is kombucha.
00:27:23
Okay. Because it's good for you and I like it. Right. Steven? Well, I mean, the margarita answer obviously is the obvious one,
00:27:30
but I feel like you could do tequila and that way you don't have it pre-mixed. Definitely.
00:27:34
For more occasions. And it's not, because sometimes the margarita is too sweet. Exactly.
00:27:38
But if they make it the wrong kind to come out of your finger, you're like, oh, I want a little skinny one.
00:27:43
Jalapenos, your fingers are just. Yeah, you're always like, you scratch your nose and you fucking,
00:27:46
you have like gas and margarita and you're just like fuck you mix up which one's gas and which
00:27:51
one's margarita and you become sammy hagar you still get fucked up what's there is karen
00:27:56
i don't want shit in my finger if i if if i was at this party i'd wait till it gets to me and be
00:28:03
like you're all fucking weird and perverted here's my weird answer steven and steven will
00:28:07
understand this what about tuna juice so all cats love you you're just like leaking it around the
00:28:13
alleyways and cats are just following you everywhere you go and all cats love you and
00:28:16
all people are like hey georgia hey are you taking a shower like we're still at georgia
00:28:21
just shake your hand it's all i forget which one's tequila and it tastes like kombucha kind of
00:28:27
see the first thing i thought of the reason i was laughing so hard was like spider-man style
00:28:31
i wasn't thinking of stuff you drink i think like what's fun to shoot at people like silly string
00:28:36
Yes. You know what I mean? That's good too. With some, just like a very high pressure hose, like at the car wash.
00:28:43
Yeah. Like that where like it would almost be like having a gun but it just water So you not going to kill anybody Well that makes me think of our friend Joe Naray has that story of how when he was a little kid they were all playing super soaker and he thought it be really funny like they put clothing dye or dye it and dye your clothes sometimes and he thought it be really funny
00:29:01
to put boiling hot water in his and shot his friend with it jesus christ yeah that's the story
00:29:07
is how awful he was that's it god listen to joe naray if i scold my friend that moment of you doing
00:29:17
And you're like, ha, ha, ha, ha. And then the kid's like, oh, no, this burns. Yeah.
00:29:21
So not hot water. No, hot water would be bad. A nice room temp water. Like tea. High pressure.
00:29:27
You could wash your car. Oh, yeah. You could make someone stand back. You can heat up a pool when it's two.
00:29:32
You could also give thirsty cats might like you. Yeah. If you're still in that cat thing.
00:29:37
With lotion counter, is that not liquid enough? Is that liquid? Lotion, probably.
00:29:40
Yeah, that's a liquid. How about S? Sorry. What are you going to do with that lotion, Stephen?
00:29:44
It's just convenient. Every answer is like, we're staring into people's psyches, but you don't, you're all innocent.
00:29:51
Like, milk. And then it's like, ew, you're fucking gross. Yeah, you're going to smell like rotten milk all the time.
00:29:57
And like, ew. Ew, you're so gross. Lube. Vaseline. Even like something as innocent as lube can be fucking.
00:30:06
Okay, hold on. I love icebreaker questions. I love this shit. I love answers. and I love, we used to play
00:30:13
would you, or basically would you rather, but it was we called it this or that, and so it would be like
00:30:19
flying and invisibility, and everyone would give their answer, and then everyone would start attacking
00:30:23
everybody on how their answer was wrong who's got the wrong one, because I was like
00:30:27
that would be stupid if you could fly, then you'd be where it's like, the friends that I had that said invisibility
00:30:31
I was like, okay, you just basically admitted you're a perv to everybody, you're
00:30:35
untrustworthy, you read my diary you're sneaky Pete, and you're giving up flying totally so that you can fucking spy on people you weasel um everyone send us your favorite
00:30:47
um like icebreaker p.o box and doesn't know send us your favorite icebreaker questions
00:30:56
or when your icebreaker shit has gone very bad or you did like a terrible first impression
00:31:01
guys guys what if um that's the picture the picture i have is like when you start a question
00:31:06
like that and you think it's going to be so fun you guys what is your okay hold on and then
00:31:11
Maybe we can just make a list of those, because they're not all stories. Just send us icebreaker questions.
00:31:15
Yeah that so good Also flying or invisibility Obviously flying Now I not going to say it If it was invisibility I wouldn tell you That such a setup Stephen I mean it just so much more fun
00:31:26
Dude, flying is the greatest American hero. It's the greatest American everything.
00:31:30
I think my honest answer for the liquids is ice tea on one finger and lemonade on the other.
00:31:35
Girl. Fuck, and you can have separate. Wait. Why don't you just put Arnold Palmer in one and then you can get another one without whatever you want in it?
00:31:41
Because I already can do that with my iced tea and lemonade. please you could have like gasoline liquid gold i am not the idea that you're going to shoot
00:31:50
gasoline out of your finger is a greedy be insane there's no way you don't get cancer from that and
00:31:57
the fumes you could never smoke again or do whatever you want with fire you could have to
00:32:01
stay away from fire for the rest of your life you go skiing and people are like let's gather
00:32:05
around you're like sorry i'll blow up it's the worst idea you greedy fucking this is the best uh send us your ideas everything my favorite murder at gmail
00:32:22
goodbye oh stay sexy and don't get murdered goodbye i jumped my line elvis you want a cookie
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