00:00:00
This is exactly right. Isn't some far off concept? It's already here. Next starts now.
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selling a persona of confidence and care, patients trusted him. He wore cowboy boots in the operating room
00:00:45
and became sought after by patients. He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies.
00:00:51
This is a story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice. Listen to Dr. Death the Cowboy wherever you get your podcasts
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Terms and conditions apply. See Pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. My favorite murder
00:01:58
I moved out for college. I moved to a large apartment complex in Lake Oswego, Oregon.
00:02:04
It was very bougie and had a tennis court, gym, pool, and a hot tub that was open 24 hours.
00:02:10
Whoa. One morning, I came home around 8 a.m. from my friend's house to about 20 cop cars at the main building of the complex.
00:02:17
It was a very sleepy area, so this seemed very out of the ordinary. I pulled into my parking spot and walk up to my apartment and across the breezeway at my neighbor's apartment.
00:02:28
There are about 15 cops going in and out. One of the officers stopped me and asked if I'd seen or heard anything.
00:02:33
And I told him that I wasn't home last night. Cut to the next day. I see on the news that someone had drowned in the hot tub the night before.
00:02:42
My neighbor was in the hot tub with a friend of his after a night of heavy drinking.
00:02:46
They got into an argument. I believe it was over a girl, which turns into a fist fight.
00:02:52
My neighbor gets beat up pretty bad and goes underwater, struggling to keep his head up.
00:02:57
Oh, my God. His friend sits there next to him and watches him drown and doesn't do anything.
00:03:02
Oh, my God. He then proceeds to sit in the hot tub for another 10 minutes before pulling my neighbor's body out of the tub.
00:03:09
He calls the police and says that he fell asleep in the hot tub and woke up to my neighbor dead in the hot tub.
00:03:14
What he doesn't realize is that the whole thing was caught on tape. I couldn't believe something like this happened to the guy across the hall that I would wave to every day when we cross paths.
00:03:23
The worst thing is the next week the pool house was reopened. And when I walked by to get my mail, I noticed a group of kids playing in the exact same hot tub he died in.
00:03:35
Thanks for reading. I love listening to the podcast. It makes pushing paper all day way more enjoyable.
00:03:40
Stay sexy and don't get into hot tubs. they are already dirty enough and you never know if someone's died in it no kenny that's the saddest
00:03:47
story what a fucking like horrific way to die like not not even like for his family to be like
00:03:56
this is what happened it's just like inhumane and fucking horrible well yeah and the idea that in
00:04:04
this day and age i mean i don't know how long ago this happened but it's like you have to assume
00:04:08
you're on tape everywhere you go in public. You have to. It's just how it actually is.
00:04:14
But thank God. Do good things pretending you're not on camera. Don't just do... What the fuck?
00:04:21
Oh, that one's going to stick with me, especially because I love the hot tub. You sure do love a hot tub.
00:04:25
I fucking love a hot tub. Well, then just be very selective with who you get into it with.
00:04:29
Okay. It's just you and that cat. Gus, the jacuzzi cat. Is that who you speak of?
00:04:34
Okay. It is. This one's called SMU, home of the murder pony. And the sea snakes.
00:04:40
Exactly. Karen Georgia and new hair Steven. Summer hair Steven. As a recent graduate of Southern Methodist University,
00:04:48
I am obligated to tell you that our mascot is not the Herky Sea Snakes, but the Mustangs,
00:04:53
which is important because we are represented by Peruna the pony, the only mascot to ever murder another mascot.
00:05:00
Oh, no. During a game against the Fordham Rams, the ram in question got too close to our pony
00:05:08
so close that it scared Peruna and he murdered the ram with one kick. The murder made Peruna legendary and has united the student body of SMU ever since On one Friday afternoon every spring semester we celebrate Peruna birthday with Peruna Palooza
00:05:27
the largest party of the year that happens outside on the school lawn with a shit ton of blow up obstacle courses,
00:05:33
mass amounts of junk food and Peruna himself. Peruna has special handlers and is available at his birthday party
00:05:38
to take pictures with. I wouldn't get too fucking close to that. Our campus often feels divided by frat stars and art trash.
00:05:45
And then it says guilty. but every year we come together as one glorious spring after on a glorious spring afternoon to
00:05:55
party hard and worship our deadly pony thanks you guys for the podcast and all the good that
00:06:00
has come from it y'all have a large troop of smu murderinas cheering you on wow ssdgm and all hail
00:06:06
peruna dakota whoa that's so random that's also so much great information what if a frat star fell
00:06:15
in love with art trash at the Peruna Palooza. Could they make it? I mean, if they drink enough together, if they both drink as much, I feel like a frat
00:06:25
star would really, he would not be able to not fall in love with art trash because he's
00:06:31
not supposed to. It's forbidden. And that we're like quirky and fun. Right. I'm saying that as if I have any talent in art, but you know, I'd be an art trash.
00:06:38
You can draw. Thank you. No, I can't. I've never seen you trying to do it. I just want to be supportive.
00:06:43
I was like, you know, my secret. But I mean, like, we can be art trash as like, you know, like fake bands.
00:06:51
Hip, cool. We were in theater, but then we quit it because we were too cool. Oh.
00:06:56
That kind of move. Sure. All right. I'm just saying let's write a rom-com. Okay.
00:07:01
Oh, my God. Yes. All right. Subject nine. Lighthearted immigrant story. My grandfather had my grandmother declared dead.
00:07:08
Dearest Karen, Georgia, Stephen, and Pets. My family emigrated from Cuba in the late 60s, and over the years, little tidbits of information was leaked by my grandmother about the very strange way that they were able to escape Castro's communist regime.
00:07:22
When my grandmother decided to move next door to her sister's and sell my childhood home, she finally decided to tell me all the family secrets.
00:07:29
Girl, growing up in Cuba, my grandmother's parents had nine kids and a sugar cane farm.
00:07:35
According to my grandmother, she was chosen as the prettiest. So she was forced to move to Havana to go to nursing school.
00:07:44
Apparently, by being the prettiest, she had the most hope of meeting a rich doctor to marry.
00:07:49
So, of course, she would go to nursing school. Amazing. This was being a lady back then.
00:07:55
After she graduated, she immediately started schmoozing the available doctors on her floor until she found my grandfather.
00:08:01
Oh, my God. My grandfather was known throughout the hospital as a player and had a gaggle of women after him.
00:08:09
My grandmother wasn't having that, so she stole some blood from the hospital and poured it on one of the women's cars with a note that said, I know where you live to get her to back home.
00:08:22
God, what is happening? As a 30-year-old, I am still very afraid of her. Jesus. us.
00:08:31
That's my grandmother. Sorry. That's amazing. I mean, she must have really loved him. Yeah. Is that
00:08:37
the word we're using? That's love. Yeah, that's what love is. As my grandmother is
00:08:41
telling me all this, she starts to pull out a tiny photo album that she kept hidden
00:08:45
in the cut-out pages of her Bible. Sounds chill. This woman is incredible. She's a nightmare.
00:08:51
There's the usual family photos of my dad and his sister that are 10 months apart
00:08:55
and then a random photo of my grandfather at a bar with some friends. one of the friends is really familiar it's motherfucking fidel castro what the fuck
00:09:04
apparently my grandfather and he were old college buddies what i asked my grandmother about it and
00:09:09
apparently my grandfather was his preferred anesthesiologist whenever he needed anything
00:09:14
done and he got one of my grandma grandmother's sisters hired on as one of his personal seamstresses
00:09:22
great all caps what the fuck so when shit started to hit the fan my grandfather started a backup
00:09:27
plan to get the fuck out of Cuba. Yes, that's right. He used his relationship with Castro to
00:09:32
send my grandmother and three kids to Costa Rica on quote unquote vacation, then had them all
00:09:37
declared dead since he was a doctor. Oh my God. Once my grandmother got to the States, she worked
00:09:43
at a deli and put herself through nursing school again to put food on the table for three little
00:09:49
kids. Five years later, my grandfather was rescued from Cuba on one of the freedom flights to Miami.
00:09:54
he put himself through medical school a second time that's what fucking immigrants have to do
00:09:59
when they come to america they're full it's a full-on like he's a neuro neurosurgeon yeah in
00:10:05
cuba and he has to come here and go to medical school how many taxi drivers have you fucking
00:10:08
talked to that are like yeah i used to fucking be a doctor and or like a pediatrician in fucking
00:10:13
india or like i'm a diplomat right yeah it's insane okay um he uh he became a well-respected
00:10:20
a doctor that saved countless lives as a cardiologist amazing I just wanted to share a story about immigrants where were the good guys fuck yeah yeah that's
00:10:29
a lot of them thank you all for normalizing mental health talk stay sexy and when in doubt declare your family dead to escape to a communist
00:10:37
regime ash oh my god that so good I mean I sorry you know here the thing You like a guy there a gaggle of women after him
00:10:49
You gotta up your game. I thought you were gonna talk about how immigrants are like, you know, no, it's fucking throw stolen hospital blood on a fucking car.
00:10:59
Just, here's what I'm saying. Put, get some skin in the game. If you really care about someone, throw blood around.
00:11:06
Like, prove it. prove you care more than those other women. That's right. You'll land your man.
00:11:12
That's right. She did. She did it. Good for her. She did it the best. Okay. If you spend all day waiting to take your bra off,
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It actually changes the whole game with bras. I thought I was like a something-something A cup.
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00:12:25
The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14. Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense,
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From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far-off concept.
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It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye.
00:13:02
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Goodbye. Goodbye. Here, I just have one more. Okay. Okay, this one's called MFM Helped the Chimpanzees I Work With.
00:14:04
Oh. Hi, guys. I'm a caregiver and photographer at a sanctuary for chimpanzees retired from research.
00:14:11
Literally the best job on the planet. Oh. I'm also a member of an MFM spinoff Facebook group called Furtorinos.
00:14:18
Love it. I like to share stories and photos there about the group of chimps I work with.
00:14:24
I recently posted that one of the female chimps I work with, her name is LB, had worn out her favorite toy,
00:14:29
a cheap stuffed gorilla from the dollar store. It's her favorite. The little gorilla.
00:14:34
It's the only toy she likes, and she carried it around until it fell apart. She eats with it, sleeps with it,
00:14:40
and roams all over the outdoor habitat with it. She got it, man. Unfortunately, it was only sold during Valentine's Day,
00:14:48
so I turned to the Furtarino group and asked if they could possibly help me locate more of these.
00:14:53
Amazingly, within the day, someone tracked down a person who had three cases of these
00:14:58
exact gorilla toys 72 all together and several other Ferdorino found individual ones
00:15:06
for sale here and there and bought them for LB she was so happy to get her new toys and now she has an endless
00:15:12
supply to replace the ones that got worn out when she saw me walk in with a new one she immediately
00:15:18
ran to grab it and hasn't put it down since I just wanted you guys to know what a positive community
00:15:24
the MFM fans are, although I'm sure you already do. This isn't the first time they've donated to my chimp
00:15:30
friends, and they're all so generous. I'm attaching some photos of LB with her brand new
00:15:34
toy. If you guys are ever in Atlanta or Chattanooga, you'll be driving distance to the sanctuary. We're not open to the
00:15:40
public, but I'd be happy to give you a private tour so you can see firsthand how far you'll reach
00:15:44
extend. Thanks for helping spread so much positivity, Crystal. Oh, Steven has a picture!
00:15:49
Steven has a picture. Oh, look at that Oh my god. Oh no. We put it up on our Instagram account Look at that baby LB She gorgeous Look at them nips man that stop it so sweet she is so cute she just sitting there eating and holding her toy we put it on the my favorite murder
00:16:14
instagram account wow thanks crystal for sending that and sharing it and all the furderinos out
00:16:21
there all right here's the last one uh uh the subject line is my mom invited thieves into our
00:16:28
home. And then parentheses, and almost a kidnapping. Hey guys, when I was 10 years old, my mom, a very
00:16:34
naive lady, befriended a couple at our local grocery store. I remember them talking to each
00:16:39
other for a while and they seemed like really nice people. It was a man and a woman in their 40s. So
00:16:44
of course they seem like a trustworthy couple to my hilarious mom. They somehow convinced my mom to
00:16:49
let them come to our apartment. And I remember that they were in our apartment with us for about
00:16:53
an hour. These people then managed to convince my mom that they will replace all the electronics
00:16:59
in our apartment with newer, better quality ones, and so they proceed to fill up their van with
00:17:05
all of our stuff. What the fuck, mom? I totally remember being very concerned about what
00:17:11
was going on and turning to my mom like, what are you doing? Of course, me being 10, I assumed
00:17:17
she knew better than me, so I let it go. As these people were leaving, the woman turns to my mom and says,
00:17:23
let us take the baby we promise we'll bring him back with the rest of the stuff she was talking about my baby brother and i kid you not my mom stood there and thought about it
00:17:34
while i yelled no oh my god the woman creepily chuckles and my mom awkwardly declines thank
00:17:43
goodness she did because of course these people never came back with any quote-unquote newer
00:17:47
electronics and we were left without any devices and no more trust in my mom i have no idea if
00:17:53
anything ever happened to these people i'm honestly incredibly surprised we survived until
00:17:58
our adult years stay sexy and don't be fooled into giving up your stuff or your kid maribel
00:18:04
oh my god that is an amazing story oh like can you imagine if you're that mom like i would bring
00:18:11
that up every fucking holiday if you hey mom if you're that 10 year old you mean yeah yes
00:18:17
remember that time mom from that day on maribel is the 10 year old was in charge of that family
00:18:23
marianne maribel the 10 year old was scared of her mom's decision making skills and never felt
00:18:29
safe maribel the 10 year old had to make do all the decision making from that moment on
00:18:35
horrifying that's hilarious she had to scream no and they were like and we'll take the baby
00:18:40
We met you an hour ago. Oh, man. You guys don't trust anyone, especially not your own mother.
00:18:47
It is that thing, though, of it's like a middle aged couple. Yeah, that's like I'm sure I don't know how long ago it was, but it's like for so long.
00:18:55
People were just like, if it's a man and a woman, nothing bad can happen. And it's like, why wouldn't I trust like them?
00:19:01
Who would do such a thing? Yeah, I can't imagine anyone would take. It's pretty good scam, though.
00:19:05
It's well, also how ballsy. They're like, oh, we just took everything from her. We might as well try to grab that baby.
00:19:12
Yeah. I mean, they were not going to keep that baby. They were going to sell that thing along with all this fucking electronics.
00:19:16
And you know, that baby would have been up on the wall at Best Buy. Fucking 42 inch baby.
00:19:24
Oh, this baby, it fell off a truck. This baby's a 3D HD and shitting. Send us your fucking send us your stories.
00:19:33
Like all of them, please. They're all so good. They're the best. And stay sexy. And don't get murdered.
00:19:38
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That's stitchfix.com slash murder. Goodbye. If audiobooks are your thing, or if you've been meaning to listen to more of them,
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Goodbye!