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him. He wore cowboy boots in the operating room and became sought after by patients. He promised
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00:01:14
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series right now, only with Audible. Goodbye. My favorite murder story time. Yeah. Where like when you first get to a party, it's still a little bit rickety. You
00:02:03
haven't had enough drinks yet. Things aren't flowing. So you have to stand in the group of
00:02:08
people that you might not even find that interesting and get it going. And hear their stories.
00:02:15
And so these are the kinds of things you want to share of interest, rarities, weirdness.
00:02:21
Hey, remember that one time you said the word house? Well, I have a story about a house.
00:02:25
That's right. That kind of thing. And yeah, and any horrible thing you could find in a house.
00:02:31
Why are we re-explaining a thing we've been doing for two years? You guys should know this by now.
00:02:35
It's like every time we have to say it. You don't even listen to us. Even though you listen to us for three hours every week.
00:02:42
Wouldn't it be crazy if I then projectile vomited coffee onto the microphone? That's what it felt like I was about to do.
00:02:48
That would be amazing. Guys, it's summer. Okay, I'm going to go first. Yes. the subject line, of course,
00:02:59
Stephen grabbed this for me because it's more about bad blood from Stanford. So this is off of the fucking hooray recommendation
00:03:08
that I made. I believe it was last week's episode talking all about the scam company Theranos
00:03:16
and their blood testing kits that never worked and yet they sold, you know, whatever.
00:03:24
the company was valuated at billions of dollars. And the book Bad Blood, you told us all to read,
00:03:29
was really interesting. It's so good. Or listen to. That's what I did. Do it. Okay.
00:03:34
So, Georgia, Karen, Stephen, and furry friends. My ears immediately perked up when Karen started describing Bad Blood on episode 130.
00:03:42
I couldn't contain my excitement for Karen's excitement about the story of Theranos.
00:03:47
I think that's how it's pronounced. I can't remember. I knew about it pretty early on
00:03:52
as my good friend from Stanford ratted out Elizabeth Holmes. And that's the 22-year-old startup mogul
00:04:00
who basically got the whole thing off the ground. So here's the scoop. That was me, editor's note.
00:04:06
Now we're back into the email. Here's the scoop. The summer after my senior year of undergrad at Stanford.
00:04:12
Very difficult school to get into, by the way. You can't just walk up and say, I go here now?
00:04:16
No, I think they don't allow commoners onto the campus. it's very it's like west coast the closest thing to ivy league you can get they have this thing
00:04:26
where like when you try to push a shopping cart outside of the um uh the parking lot of a grocery
00:04:32
store and it just goes and stops working yes except for it's snipers on the roof and they
00:04:37
just fucking take you out and they bury your body in the forest cool up behind the football field
00:04:43
i don't know i actually don't know that much about it where are we going uh not to college
00:04:49
here's the scoop the summer after my senior year of undergrad at stanford i was living in a house
00:04:56
with six people and then it says in parentheses we squeezed a couple of miles off campus many of
00:05:03
us studied human biology in undergrad congratulations so almost all of us were doing research except
00:05:09
for my friend who started a job at serenus every time even at that time it was a big deal as you
00:05:17
know from media stories since, Elizabeth Holmes garnered an insane amount of capital for her
00:05:22
company, and everyone thought that Theranos would revolutionize blood testing. I was interested to
00:05:28
hear my friend's take on his new job. Every day, we'd all come home and debrief over dinner,
00:05:33
and every day, my friend would tell stories about how the testing he was doing on Theranos kits was statistically insignificant, and that all the hype about the company was
00:05:43
unwarranted. Oh my god. Such a weird feeling to be the science person that's like, yeah, this is
00:05:48
bullshit at the center of a complete bullshit contest. Although I trusted his judgment,
00:05:54
because he a super smart guy at first I thought his comments were just run my boss sucks complaints But as the summer wore on he grew more and more anxious He discovered that other comments were just run my boss sucks complaints But as the summer wore on he grew more and more anxious He discovered that other co were on the same page as he was
00:06:07
And some of them quit as a result. He was thinking of quitting as well. But there were many conflicts of interest for him.
00:06:13
And he was terrified of being blackmailed. Oh, shit. Which was a thing they did.
00:06:17
They fucking got into everybody's email. Oh, my God. And they got into people's lives.
00:06:21
They had endless amounts of money and lawyers. It is. It's like a rich cult. Oh, my God.
00:06:28
Lawyer-based cult. Okay. After that summer was over, we all parted ways, and I didn't hear too much else about Theranos,
00:06:34
except for that my friend eventually left the company. However, a few years later, Theranos was all over the news.
00:06:40
Lo and behold, my friend was the main whistleblower. Crazy to think of what would have happened if he never said anything and how brave he was for doing so.
00:06:51
Update. He's doing extremely well. And he's now dating one of my friends from the freshman dorm.
00:06:59
Why do you find that hilarious? It's so like, oh my God, is he dating her? It's a detail that clearly is thrilling.
00:07:09
And there's nothing better than someone you know starts dating someone else. You know that they didn't know each other.
00:07:14
But the idea that we can in some way connect it. You mean from the dorm? He's dating Stacey?
00:07:21
Holy shit. She was such a stoner. I don't think people smoke pot at Stanford, do they?
00:07:27
Oh, yeah. They get paid to do it. Thanks for reading my feet. My thigh aunts and I can't wait to see you guys in L.A. on Halloween.
00:07:34
Liz. Woo-hoo, Liz. Nice one, Liz. I love any updates about that story. I can't get enough.
00:07:41
Like that that guy's dating Stacey? Oh, my God. Because Stacey, sorry, was a slut.
00:07:46
She was a bitch. She was a... Okay. Well, this one's from my story from last week of the Romanovs.
00:07:54
This one's called Romanov Diaries and My Friend's Grandma. Oh, yes. And I actually meant to say Romanov Diamonds and My Friend's Grandma.
00:08:03
But I said it wrong. It's not like the Princess Diaries? No. And halfway is not in this email.
00:08:12
No. I love being rich. Okay. My friend's grandma, now deceased, was an old Russian woman who escaped the West with her family.
00:08:21
Escaped to the West. Right. With her family. She escaped to Russia. She ran into Russia.
00:08:27
She hated all the cowboys. That's right. She escaped to the West with her family as the communist regime took over.
00:08:34
She would never talk about her childhood. So my friend and her family never really knew much of anything.
00:08:39
Man, tell us everything. The only thing they knew was that she had a handful of diamonds that were handed down to her from her mother.
00:08:46
One day they were watching a TV special on the uncovering of the Winter Palace, home of the Romanovs.
00:08:51
Yes. The Soviets had covered up certain rooms, and after the fall of the Soviet Union, they, and then it says in parentheses, you know, they.
00:09:00
They. Recovered, recorded the reveal of the historic Romanov decor. As they uncovered a green marble fireplace, my friend's grandma began to cry because she remembers this fireplace from her childhood.
00:09:14
She sat at the fireplace on the regular when she was little. It was learned that her mother, my friend's great-grandmother, was a teacher for the children of the Romanov family.
00:09:24
The grandmother, as a child in the palace, grew up alongside Anastasia. No! And the other royal children.
00:09:31
On a regular basis, the mother would tell stories to all of the children in front of the fireplace before they went to bed at night.
00:09:38
When the family was slaughtered, everyone in the household was in danger, so she and her mother fled for their lives.
00:09:43
Fuck! Because remember they killed, like, the doctor? Sure. My friend and her grandmother, my friend had her grandmother's jewels appraised, and the jeweler was somehow able to trace them back to old-timey Russia.
00:09:55
We think that as they fled, they either swiped a handful of jewels or were given them by the Romanons.
00:09:59
They were like in candy dishes. It was like, grab a couple diamonds on your way out.
00:10:04
We love that you came to visit us at the Winter Palace. Thanks for coming. My favorite behind the walls and degrees of separation story.
00:10:12
Stay sexy and swipe some jewels, Jeremy. Hell yes, Jeremy. I will swipe jewels at any given opportunity.
00:10:20
Wipe that candy dish of diamonds. What's better than a terrible war story, but then somebody getting a hold of like a raw diamond
00:10:28
and sewing it into their clothes. That's just so, like... Yeah. It's so, like, fairy tale.
00:10:37
It is. Except the dying part. Like, what in your house are you going to be able to smuggle
00:10:42
that's going to get you anywhere? And, like, get anything. And get you anything when everything falls apart.
00:10:47
Oh, well, my rare diamonds collection. Let's start buying raw diamonds, is what I'm saying.
00:10:52
How about the silver coins my dad gave me in Vince for our wedding? because he says that when the end days come that's right they're in paper money is going to
00:11:00
be worthless it's going to be all about them nickels that marty got you thank you what if
00:11:06
he just got as a roll of nickels but they're all from 1967 it's good luck um yeah it's my family
00:11:15
it's like there's a joy of cooking cookbook i could probably get there's some good ass recipes
00:11:21
in there that might be worth something. Hell yeah. Beef stroganoff. You know what you
00:11:25
do? You put some fucking sour cream in that gravy. You put some stroganoff in the
00:11:29
fucking beef. Get some tang on that beef. And then you put some egg noodles in it.
00:11:34
They're like, you know what? You no longer have to go to the prison. Thank you. What do you
00:11:39
have to trade for your life? I have pockets full of hot stroganoff. Thank God. Where are we going?
00:11:45
I'm not sure. Well, here's the subject line of my next email. Ash is in the trunk. Okay.
00:11:51
Hey, everyone. My name is Mary Lou and I a semi emailer very heavy listener Thank you for declaring yourself Mary Lou so clearly and accurately Yesterday I went to go see The Dead and Co
00:12:07
And then in parentheses, The Grateful Dead minus Jerry Garcia plus John Mayer. Oh, right.
00:12:12
John Mayer's mayor. The one that invented the lemons at the gorge in Washington.
00:12:19
So before I went in, I ate three grams of mushrooms and started tripping almost instantly.
00:12:25
They love drug stories. Yep. Send us your drug stories. Also, don't do drugs. Send us your drug stories.
00:12:31
Don't do drugs. But then again, if you go ahead and eat some mushrooms in the out of doors, because you're
00:12:36
going to enjoy some trip out music where every other person there is on drugs. Including the entire band.
00:12:43
And the roadies. And the roadies. And the concession people. Exactly. Every single person is just going to be the chillest of the chill.
00:12:52
Okay. Okay. I'm also on mushrooms so I lost my place and I immediately started tripping thank you while I was watching the show
00:13:02
and going through an intense roller coaster of emotions as one does who is tripping on mushrooms
00:13:07
I realized my mom's ashes have been in the trunk of my car for an entire year oh my god you put your mom in your trunk and you left her there
00:13:18
for a year. They have an explanation, I should say. Oh, no, it's Mary Lou, so we know it.
00:13:25
Mary Lou has an explanation. Last year on Mother's Day, my mom died in her sleep of mysterious
00:13:30
causes at the age of 50. Oh, that's awful. I'm sorry, Mary Lou. I was 19 and had to plan, pay for, and organize
00:13:38
my mom's entire funeral and such. Oh, honey. It was a lot for a 19-year-old to deal with,
00:13:45
but I got it done, and it all worked out. Fuck yes, Mary Lou. Mary Lou. Well done.
00:13:50
Your mom would be proud of you. That sucks so much. I know. At 19. 19. And that's the thing about when people die is the people closest to the person who are
00:14:00
the most affected also have to start making a shit ton of decisions. This is why you want to do it before you die.
00:14:05
Make all your plans and shit, right? Yeah, you want to, but no one does. No one does.
00:14:09
No one does. Okay. All right. We're with you, Mary Lou. After spending most of the summer in Wisconsin where I'm from, I realized I needed a change,
00:14:18
So I uprooted my life, put my dog and all my belongings in my car and moved to Portland.
00:14:23
It was actually a great idea. I had planned on bringing my mom's ashes with me. And as I made this long trip, I would stop in beautiful places and scatter her throughout the country where she would be whisked away over pretty landscapes.
00:14:36
Only problem. I left home without the fucking ashes. By the time I realized this, I was already in northern Colorado.
00:14:43
Oh, my God. So I made my dad FedEx them to the Airstream I was staying on on a farm in Fort Collins.
00:14:49
That sounds amazing. So good right now. Yeah. Okay. When they showed up, they were in an Amazon box that my dad had just re-duct taped and
00:14:57
scribbled my dress on in purple Sharpie. I threw the box in the trunk and kept on driving.
00:15:02
But for whatever reason, it never felt like the right time or place to scatter her.
00:15:06
That makes sense. I moved to Portland and became a preschool teacher and have been living here ever since.
00:15:12
I kept forgetting that Sue was indeed in the trunk of my car and that eventually I was going to have to do something with her until I ate a bunch of mushrooms at the gourd.
00:15:22
Oh, oh, this story is when you're on mushrooms, don't think about your dead mom's ashes.
00:15:29
Like that's the worst thing to think about. But it's also like she's saying, because these crazy drugs, psilocybin and mushrooms are an emotional roller coaster.
00:15:39
You go emotionally crazy. So it's perfect. Just like this email is an emotional roller coaster.
00:15:46
Okay. I realized a year is way too long to have my mom in the trunk of the car and that it's not ha ha funny anymore.
00:15:54
It's just fucking weird. So today I went to my car and pulled out the box where I opened it in my apartment only to realize some of the ashes had spilled out from the plastic urn into the cardboard box.
00:16:07
I go to dump it out of my window to try to dust off the box. But the wind blew it into my apartment at that blew into my apartment at that exact moment.
00:16:18
And pieces of my fucking mom's ashes blew into my house and into my face. Lesson learned.
00:16:29
If you keep your mom's ashes in the trunk for a year, she will retaliate when you finally move her.
00:16:35
my mom is the reason i'm a murderino so sorry and she would have loved your podcast so on both of our behalves ssdgm mary lou
00:16:50
oh i'm crying too it's so good it fuck it's like you can't do death correctly it always is fucked up
00:16:58
it's of course you're avoiding spreading your mother's ashes it's like to have your mom die
00:17:04
sucks so bad she's traumatized by this terrible event and then she tries to like make it right
00:17:12
it's just so typical that's amazing it's just so good that's a great story thank you for that
00:17:21
very personal and very awful story mary lou good job mary lou uh i'm sorry it got me no i love it
00:17:30
It got me good. You got me good. Okay. I got me good. This one's called, let's see.
00:17:36
I have one more. Okay. It's short. Okay. This is called 23andMe gone wrong slash I might be an alien.
00:17:44
Shit. And then the opening is just, hi. Perfect. Back in January I sent my adorable little bottle of spit to 23andMe after a bunch of us got the kit for Christmas A few months later everyone else had their results except me Finally I received an email saying that the genome analysis had been unsuccessful because they hadn been able to collect enough DNA from my saliva They sent me a new kit and told me to
00:18:09
try again. Naturally, I assumed some lab tech had just dropped my sample on the floor, so I did it
00:18:14
again and didn't think much of it. Another few months passed, and then finally I received another
00:18:20
email saying that I was incompatible with the analysis. They were unable to extract DNA and
00:18:27
that they would not try to perform the analysis again. In fact, they asked me to check a box
00:18:31
online saying I would not try to submit my sample ever again. What? I looked all over the Reddit
00:18:38
world and only found one other person this happened to. I'm completely healthy and can
00:18:44
think of no reason why my DNA didn't work. So I guess I can spit all over a crime scene
00:18:49
and they'd never know it was me who knows but they sent me a refund and i bought an air
00:18:54
conditioner with it so i guess it was worth it yours may be an alien robin what the fuck
00:19:01
because they would have told her if she because i know a girl who uh is a non-secreter right so
00:19:08
she didn't she should try to maybe prick her i think the girl ended up like pricking her thumb
00:19:13
and putting like a drop of blood in the saliva thing and it worked but they would have told her
00:19:18
if she couldn't get enough DNA. Well, also, that's just so fascinating. I mean, if it wasn't a technical issue,
00:19:24
but it's just like, yeah, nothing is showing up. There's nothing working, and promise you'll never do this again.
00:19:29
Yes, exactly. That's so weird. We don't want your fucking Area 51 shit coming into our...
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Don't we all kind of need that? Like the eye of an expert? Yeah. Where should I put this? And also
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00:22:56
How long is that? It's been like 18 minutes. Because I can do one more. A shorty.
00:23:00
Well, actually, there's this. Karen, do one more. Okay. Mine work quick this week.
00:23:05
Okay. Because I'm sweating so much. Creepy man with children's pictures on his wall.
00:23:10
Perfect. Hello, Karen, Georgia. Stephen. Elvis, Mimi, Dottie. Frank and George. Love it.
00:23:16
Well done. Penny. Penny? Penny Lane. Stephen's cat. Oh, that's right. Let's just start fucking folding in every animal we know.
00:23:23
You forgot one. There's also every animal you've ever met. Okay, go. I just finished binge listening to all the episodes you guys have.
00:23:31
I'm not the best writer, so bear with me on spelling and all grammatical errors.
00:23:35
No. This story is kind of short, but as I think about what happened and how old I was, I thought
00:23:41
I should share it. My twin sister, who got me hooked on this podcast, and I were around eight years old,
00:23:45
and we were living with my mom at the time in our small town near St. Louis, Missouri.
00:23:49
We walked to and from school every day. On our way home from school, almost always we would stop at this 60 to 70 year old man's house.
00:23:58
His name was Terry. I remember him looking like an average grandpa with kind of crooked teeth.
00:24:03
We would talk to him for up to an hour before actually going home. I believe that it was because of friends or neighbor kids that we knew that we could stop by his house.
00:24:13
Anyways, this creeper would give everyone candy and sodas. Of course he would. At the beginning of every school year, this man would ask for current school photos.
00:24:22
If we didn't have any, he would have a sit down on one of the steps of his front porch so he could take his own photo.
00:24:31
No, no, no, no. Once he got them developed, he would put them up along the wall of at least 100 other kids photos in his garage.
00:24:40
Why did we ever think this was okay? We were so dumb. Well, you were children. As I'm remembering everything, there were days when his garage door was closed or his wife's car was in the driveway
00:24:51
and we weren't allowed to stop by. Also, our visits would be cut short on days his wife came home earlier than he expected.
00:24:58
There were days when we wouldn't stop by because it was raining or we just wanted to get home.
00:25:04
On those days, he would walk himself to our house. My very own mother would let him in the house and sit on our couch She just let us sit there and talk to this crazy man for hours I always thought he was kind of weird but I eight years old and my brain just told me to shut up
00:25:23
I remember my sister and I going to this man's house until the summer that we ended up moving to my dad's house.
00:25:30
I want to thank you girls for that's it. I want to thank you girls for welcoming my inner crime loving self into this awesome community.
00:25:37
You two make my midnight shift way more enjoyable and eases my wandering mind when I'm walking around an almost empty hospital all night cleaning.
00:25:44
Just as empty rooms. Please keep doing what you do because you do it so well. Stay sexy and don't stop by creepy old men's houses on your way from school.
00:25:53
Lacey and Melanie N. Oh my God. So it's just basically a story of a man who loves to visit children.
00:26:02
And the photo part is the creepiest. The photo part is not good. No. And also that the wife, it's not like the wife is like, oh, who's here?
00:26:09
Hi, girls, or whatever. That it's some weird, like... It's like the wife knows something's going, something's weird happening, so don't tell
00:26:15
her that you come over here. Well, I mean, does the wife not go into the garage?
00:26:18
Maybe not. The fuck the deal Maybe the wife hates children Oh and this is his only like he like I really love children He really wanted children She refused to give him children Give him children She refused to have
00:26:30
children. Give him children. Give him a child. Give poor Randolph a child. I feel like you could definitely go that
00:26:37
old man's crazy. It could be a tragic story. It could be there's so many things in between,
00:26:43
but the pictures on the wall and it being a hundred other children. Why? What? Yeah.
00:26:51
Yeah. Yeah. Send us your shit at myfavoritemurderatgmail. Wow, guys, that was a real good round.
00:26:59
That was a fun one. That was real fun. Lots of laughs and, of course, lots of tears.
00:27:04
Lots of love. Lots of love. Lots of love. Lots of laughs. We laughed. We loved. We cried.
00:27:10
We cried. We lived. And we stayed sexy. And we didn't get murdered. And you should, too.
00:27:15
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By now, you've probably heard of Reef. They've been making iconic sandals forever.
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But what you might not know is that they also make ridiculously comfortable everyday shoes.
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The Neptune is a lightweight, everyday slip-on shoe with a crushed back heel, so you can wear it traditionally or step on the heel and wear it like a slide.
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Lightweight, breathable, and easy to wear. The Neptune is the everyday shoe your feet have been waiting for.
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I feel like so often you have to sacrifice cuteness for comfort, which is so annoying because I want both all the time.
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Everything has to be cute, but also I'm old and I want comfortable shoes. So I feel like the Neptunes are the perfect answer to that.
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Yeah, I love how cushy they are. They're like, they go with everything. They're really cute, but your feet are like on little clouds.
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Check out the Neptune on Reef.com and redeem 15% off your first purchase. Goodbye.
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Pandora jewelry brings the sparkle to summer now with even better prices. Shop now for up to 50% off select jewelry featuring personalized pieces to must have summer favorites.
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Timeless jewelry made to move with you through every moment. Shop in store or online now through July 5th.
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Terms and conditions apply. See Pandora.net for more details. Goodbye.