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00:01:57
Goodbye. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear. Happy birthday to you.
00:03:05
And now in Swedish. That was better. Wow. That one was better. The second one was better.
00:03:37
Oh, my God. What's up, Stockholm? Man, they didn't do that in Minnesota last year,
00:03:50
wherever the hell we were on your birthday. They sure the fuck didn't sing me two languages worth of happy birthday songs.
00:03:58
That was awesome. These poor girls, get out. You guys didn't know the song at all.
00:04:03
Where are you from, New Jersey or something? What? No. Don't just start naming cities in California.
00:04:13
We're trying to be cool in front of Stockholm people. And they named the worst possible city, which is my hometown.
00:04:22
Okay, now Irvine, happy birthday only. No, they don't know it. They don't even know it.
00:04:28
That's what they're like. Oh my God, my head already hurts from laughing so much.
00:04:36
wow this is so weird oh yeah this is so cool we are on a european concert tour sorry god yeah this is all a little surreal it's quite strange every night we're in a different
00:04:56
european city that we've usually never been to before no and we keep expecting people to be like
00:05:04
we don't know what you're saying and we don't care. And instead, everyone speaks better English than we do.
00:05:12
Sings better happy birthday than we do. Way better happy birthday song. And is super nice and just keeps bringing us chocolate.
00:05:21
I mean, what a great, the chocolate industry is booming over here. I don't know.
00:05:26
Do you know? Do you guys know that? How was your birthday today, Karen? Oh, well, it was my ideal birthday.
00:05:33
I'm 48 today. Thank you so much Thank you Thank you in my early 40s, I tried to hide my age and then once it kicked over 45. I was like fuck it who cares
00:05:49
Who cares seriously, we're all gonna be dead so soon We all on such a serious clock here You guys don know how the show goes Yeah Yeah we all die at the end This is a Jonestown specialty
00:06:05
Get ready. Yeah, that's why the ticket was so expensive. We kill you. Everyone reach under your seat.
00:06:15
There's a chocolate. It's hot chocolate with a little bit of bad Kool-Aid at the bottom of it.
00:06:22
No, but I really did spend my birthday the best way, dad, the best way that I possibly could have today.
00:06:32
I stayed in the hotel room and got room service twice. So that's really, I'm sorry.
00:06:39
I meant to go to the Nobel Museum. I meant to do important things here in Stockholm, but.
00:06:45
No? Okay. Well, I didn't go there. So stop telling me what to do. I already did it on my own accord.
00:06:55
Yeah, I got a gorgeous breakfast with about seven beverages, and then three o'clock rolled around, and I was like,
00:07:05
I'm not going to just go eat lunch somewhere like a rando tourist. So then I just got some stuff sent up.
00:07:12
The lady was like, hi again. I was like, you're not supposed to do that. You've never seen this face before.
00:07:20
Send someone else up. So at least like you're like their shift has changed. That's right.
00:07:24
So that they don't see you again. So much time has passed since the last time you ordered a ton of food from us, Miss Kilgariff.
00:07:31
And we know that tray is still in your room with ketchup crusting on the fucking plate.
00:07:36
I always get like you. Georgia turned me on to getting the cheese plate or the charcuterie plate.
00:07:42
Man, those things stink up a room when you don't let the maid come in. I never let the maid in.
00:07:47
In fact, while I was sitting there, the maid tried to come in, and I just kept going, no, no, no.
00:07:53
And she still came in anyway. Very pushy. She was like, I know what's better for you than you know what's...
00:07:59
She's like, I can smell that cheese plate from out here in the hallway. Your neighbors are complaining.
00:08:03
I'm your neighbor. Just like, get Karen's cheese plate out of there. I can smell blue cheese from my bed.
00:08:10
Well, what did you do today for my birthday? I basically got room service twice,
00:08:15
but I did it in the restaurant in the lobby. So I did what you did. I just had to put pants on for it.
00:08:23
You did it several stories below me. Yeah, but like, so basically I did the same thing you did.
00:08:28
I just had to like put makeup on for it, which is not fun. I had really good intentions about,
00:08:34
normally when we go on tour, we truly stay in our rooms almost the whole time. Not on purpose.
00:08:40
It goes fast. Yeah. And we never do our homework beforehand. So we have to just sit there and be doing it.
00:08:47
Yeah. But now we're in fucking Sweden and fucking Oslo and shit. It is a monumental waste of lots of things to not be outside.
00:08:59
I might keep looking out the window like, you know, I have a sad disease or something.
00:09:04
Just look at him walking and having relationships. So lucky. We did have fine time yesterday to go get a legit fucking massage, a Swedish massage.
00:09:18
Have you guys heard of this? Oh, my God. I was like, it didn't even hit me. And I was like, oh, yeah, you have to get a Swedish massage.
00:09:25
Yeah. The lady, here's how you know you have a good massage therapist. The woman looked at me and goes, you're supposed to get the relaxation massage.
00:09:35
I think we should do lymphatic. And I was like, let's do it. She could have been like, I'm going to sell you this series of medicinal vinegars.
00:09:43
And I would have been like, yes, I'll buy all of them. Anything that Swedish massage therapist did, I was going to do.
00:09:50
It was awesome. There's all kinds of light pinchings, and my arms were up for a while.
00:09:56
What if she just made up a massage because she was like, I don't feel like rubbing anyone today.
00:10:01
Let's just do this woman. She looks like she doesn't really care. I'm going to just pinch her, and she's an American.
00:10:06
She's going to think it's a fucking thing. She's going to fall for it. I'm going to charge her more than a Swedish masseuse.
00:10:11
Yeah. Yeah. She'll listen to anything I say. I met my, they come out to collect you and bring you to your massage room.
00:10:17
And the woman came out and she, and I swear to God, a hundred years ago, I would have been her servant.
00:10:23
She was like, it just didn't, it wasn't fair. She shook my hand and she had the softest skin, like blonde, beautiful blonde, tiny features.
00:10:32
Her skin was just gorgeous. So just all her features are right here in her face?
00:10:38
Real small? Yeah. Big head, small features. That's not a good combination. Like a balloon that someone had drawn a face on but then blown up.
00:10:48
Yes, that's very regal and royal. But I definitely would have been kept in the maid's quarters for her.
00:10:56
Like she was a princess. And then she was rubbing you. And I was like, let's get this.
00:11:01
In your face. Happening. In your face, queen, bitch. Poor thing. She did touch my nipple at one point.
00:11:10
Hold on. Hold on. Someone call the police. It was a slight graze. Probably accidental.
00:11:19
I didn't care. I mean, maybe that's included. What if that was like one of the points where it's like relaxation, nipple graze.
00:11:29
Slight awkward graze of your nipple. Awkward graze of your nipples that you're left to figure out what it might mean,
00:11:35
which is kind of romantic in a way. I mean, it's not like they get in the way, so you've got to kind of work for it.
00:11:45
Like, this is all padding. You've really got to reach over. It's not like, oh, they're just everywhere.
00:11:52
As opposed to these numbers? Oh that the thing by the way and I announced this on our first show in Dublin but I never been like this before but because of this dress I normally worn a slip with this dress because it is so plunging but I forgot my slip and then I was like who gives a fuck it Europe
00:12:12
So now, thank you. You have to, you lead with your strengths. You know what I mean?
00:12:22
You draw the eye to what's best about you. Just focus up here, everybody. That's what I'm doing for age 48.
00:12:31
Thank you. I have the... 48 is tits out year for you. It's tits out. Some have said I have the breasts of a 39-year-old woman.
00:12:40
So I'm just going to... show them off. Speaking of, this is my favorite murder of the podcast. Oh yes, hi.
00:12:50
That's this birthday girl is Karen Kilgariff. And this servant girl is Georgia Hardstart.
00:13:07
I finally, I, speaking of clothes, finally replaced the black bra that I took off under my clothes on the airplane and was like,
00:13:15
I'll get that later, and then didn't get that later. Never in my life have I... When that maid
00:13:22
knocked on the door today, I jumped up to put my bra on so fast. Like, I can't ever. That's never
00:13:28
an option. Really? No, God. These things loose? Do you know? No. I think a long time ago, it stopped
00:13:36
being appropriate for me and I just haven't caught up to it yet. You're just pretending?
00:13:40
I just don't care. I just don't want to know if I'm offending anyone with them. I just don't, I can't. Right.
00:13:48
No, thank you. They're like, they're like, yeah, we've been doing that over here for quite some time.
00:13:56
Kind of what we do. Also, you know. I just realized we both we both hell no to the shoes we brought
00:14:08
to wear three shows in and we're like I can't fucking wear these anymore these are my
00:14:13
I wasn't planning on wearing these on stage I had these like fucking heels you know but Jesus Christ
00:14:20
I'm wearing clogs A as respect to you guys and then B because I know it will infuriate
00:14:30
my sister when she sees pictures of it. She's like, why can't you just get a decent heel? I don't know.
00:14:37
I don't have to, I guess. That's the thing. I'm out of the phase where I have to do stuff like that. I packed
00:14:42
with so much enthusiasm and the girl who packed my suitcase, the me who packed it, had so
00:14:49
many plans to do so many things in every city we went to. I brought four dresses,
00:14:54
not even for the show, to wear out in the world and vintage. and like this is a vintage tulip one I have to wear it in second year
00:15:02
you know I'm like uh uh she hasn't been doing that she brought a clutch a little purse in case we go out just to take down to the restaurant and
00:15:12
it's downstairs at the hotel uh-huh and then you open it up here's my room key yeah that's all that's in here it's not
00:15:20
it's not happening but I did I have managed to go to a pharmacy in like every place we've been to buy all the weird shit you can't get in the U.S.
00:15:31
The beauty treatments that are like too chemically advanced for American women. Give it to me.
00:15:37
They will not allow us to have them. Give me all the over-the-counter shit that you can't get.
00:15:42
Just be careful you don't burn your eyes out because there could be some serious European
00:15:46
shit in there. Right. I might not be ready for that shit. I bought you a big tub.
00:15:51
It's like diaper cream, but all the ladies are like, no, but you have to put it on your
00:15:56
face. It's fucking amazing. Someone might be fucking lying to me. It's a prank. It's totally a prank.
00:16:04
100%. Some troll, like, 13-year-old boy at home is like, you should totally try the
00:16:08
diaper cream on your face. Put diaper cream on your face, lady. I'm doing it. I did it. It works.
00:16:15
Every night in the mirror, George is like, 100, 200, 300. Finally beautiful. I should get a manicure.
00:16:25
I should. But we're halfway through at this point. I know. It's just going to be.
00:16:30
Start chipping anyway. Yeah. I, as the opposite of Georgia, of course, Georgia packed all her
00:16:37
beautiful dresses and made plans and schemes. I think now that I look in my suitcase, I think I
00:16:42
brought two pairs of sweats and like two pairs of underwear. I don't. All of the key ingredients
00:16:51
for things you need to feel like a decent human being are not in my suitcase. It's so weird.
00:16:57
It's like the same black thermal shirt over and over, and then like two pairs where I'm like,
00:17:01
am I going to have to start rinsing and repeating these underwear? That's disgusting.
00:17:06
Yeah, you might. I should buy some. I hear they have them here. I know, right? Yeah.
00:17:13
They have bras for sure. Maybe if they have them. Oh, God, if they had underwear on the room service menu, I would be set.
00:17:20
Why don't they do that? Never look back. Oh, my God. Someone write. Stephen, write that down.
00:17:25
Stephen. Stephen. He's under this gorgeous. Hey, look, the price tag is still on it.
00:17:35
You think they're going to return it? How many kroner is it? 89. 89 million? Sorry.
00:17:44
I really do think this is the most beautiful rug we've ever. It's gorgeous. It's gorgeous.
00:17:47
Happened on. Stop it. You didn't make it. Too bad we're going to ruin it tonight.
00:17:56
Who brought their pens I don know Look Listen Should I tell them what my mom said?
00:18:08
Please do. Because I think Oslo, when I told them, was a little offended. So tell me if this is offensive and I'll stop.
00:18:13
I won't say it to London tomorrow. Let's really get this settled tonight. Yeah, yeah.
00:18:18
Before I tell anyone else. You guys will let me know, right? It's like if I have something in my teeth, you know?
00:18:23
You have to tell me. my mom before I left we don't ever talk and then before I'm going to leave
00:18:28
for somewhere she has to talk to me because in case I die then she's like I'm a good mother
00:18:32
I said goodbye to her I said I love you so she called me and she was like are you going to France
00:18:40
and I'm like no we're not going to France and then she's like okay good if you do go to France
00:18:46
because she was already going to tell me this yeah she can't change that story don't wear your Jewish star out
00:18:53
And I was like, what are you fucking talking about? A, I don't wear a Jewish star ever in my life.
00:18:59
I haven't since my fucking bat mitzvah. And B, like, I shouldn't, if that's the case, you shouldn't wear it in America.
00:19:07
I think France is your fucking... That's exactly right. And, you know, they don't like Jews over there.
00:19:12
What are you talking about? Oh, wait. She means World War II. That's what it is, isn't it?
00:19:20
She never, that's all she learned is up to World War II. So it's kind of like hanging around in the back of her mind, like, there's something I remember about it.
00:19:27
It's a bad thing that happened in Europe. Jews were involved. Yeah. Georgia still wears a Jewish star.
00:19:36
I love it. You'd just be rocking that star. Like, hey, look, we're on tour. I'm highly religious.
00:19:43
I'm super Jewish. Yeah. And I'm here to represent. That's right. and then I'll get my
00:19:49
the blood of Christ crucifix that I love to wear on the weekends and you do love wearing that
00:19:57
privately I like the one where like his face looks like my grandma had that painting where the thorns
00:20:05
are piercing his skin and so there's blood coming down his face and it would be in her bedroom
00:20:11
so when I was little I would have to go in there to take a nap and I'd just be like
00:20:15
fucking A Man, that's got to be a big boner killer to see that. Like in your bedroom?
00:20:24
Although, my grandparents did have nine children, so I think it was fine. It might have been just the opposite.
00:20:30
Yeah, maybe they ran into some weird shit. What if they... I'm so sorry. Grandma, listen.
00:20:36
She can see and hear us. Are you talking to Stephen or your grandma? Stephen, I'm sorry about my grandparents.
00:20:44
Stephen. Stephen doesn't like to think of that. Steven's at home with my cats. I know.
00:20:51
They love him more than me, and I'm kind of okay with it at this point. They look happy.
00:20:58
In the 1,000 Instagram story videos that he posts. Yes. Yeah. They like to be photographed 100 times an hour.
00:21:08
All day long. That's what cats are for. Yeah, you know how cats love interaction, and they love things near their face.
00:21:14
They love millennials with asymmetrical hair and weird mustaches. Cats love that.
00:21:24
Talking to them in a baby voice. You don't do that. I don't fucking ever talk to them in a baby voice.
00:21:31
Yes, I fucking do. My God, I'm the most annoying. I realize that Vince might not like it, that I do that all day.
00:21:39
You just realize that right now? No, like recently I was like, there's this, some woman I follow on Instagram and she had a baby and the way she talks to her baby is like so irritating.
00:21:49
And like, I don't mind most baby talk, the way you talk to it, but the way she does it is really good.
00:21:54
And then I was like, oh my God, what if I, that's how I sound to Vince when I talk to the cats.
00:22:01
So I'm going to talk normally. I'm just going to have conversations with my cats from now on like this.
00:22:06
Yes. We're going to have a nice chat. It's going to be fine. shake hands walk away business as usual clipboards yeah ties um that is actually how i talk to my
00:22:21
dogs only because i'm by myself and i think it's funny so i'll walk through and they just follow
00:22:28
me around the house constantly thinking i'm gonna drop food at some point which you do a lot i do
00:22:33
a lot of your thing i do shed food constantly out of my huge pockets yeah you always know where
00:22:39
Karen is. There's just a trail of dog treats. Triscuits and shit. But I will turn around at
00:22:46
them one point and go, oh my God, what kind of dog are you? That's my favorite thing. I think
00:22:51
in their lifetime, I've asked them that 50,000 times. I love it. Oh my God, what kind of dog are
00:22:56
you? And then George's tail's wagging like, is she going to give me food now? This is my favorite
00:23:02
question. When she asks this, it gets fucking crazy, man. Well, I wonder what my cats think
00:23:08
that I keep asking them if they're a baby. Are you a baby? Are you a baby? But in a fucking annoying voice.
00:23:14
Like, are you a human baby? Who's a baby? Are you a baby? Who's my baby? Who's a baby? Who's a little baby?
00:23:21
Oh, just variations on the theme of baby-ness. Baby, yeah. They gotta be wondering who the fuck a baby
00:23:27
is at this point. They're like, I really think she wants a baby. That's what I think
00:23:33
is on the bottom of all of this. It's gotta be it. Oh, look at the little foot. on the thing.
00:23:39
Oh, it's gorgeously wrapped at the bottom so we don't have to look at some filthy Swedish
00:23:43
bottom of a table. I love it. I hear they're terrible over here. It's really jaunty.
00:23:50
It's gorgeous. Usually we have like a table cloth, but now we just have a foot cloth.
00:23:55
No, it's, this is, you know, this is going to be all the rage in America in like four years.
00:24:00
We're seeing it first here. Tablecloths, how déclassé. Over on the continent, they're using table shoes.
00:24:12
Socks. Table socks. Table socks would have been better. Cool. Anything else we need to tell them about our trip so far?
00:24:22
I think that's everything. Oh, should I, really quick, should I tell you about the cheese sandwich they gave me?
00:24:26
Oh, yeah. Fuck. I actually tweeted a picture of it because it was so good. What? They were so cute.
00:24:33
I think part of it was that we had to get up at 3. After our two Dublin shows, we had to get up at 3.30 in the morning to go get a flight
00:24:41
because we had to do a connection from Dublin to Amsterdam to Oslo. And then when we landed at Oslo, our bags weren't there.
00:24:53
yeah so then we were just like hot and greasy and like it's okay and like went to the hotel
00:25:01
it was kind of exciting because it was the idea that we might not have to get dressed up to come
00:25:05
on stage and we'd have an excuse not to but didn't happen yeah then we didn't get dressed up to go
00:25:10
on stage yeah just like back at but but on the way to amsterdam they can't they swung by and like
00:25:18
in american almost every airline they don't serve food at all anymore so you have to like
00:25:23
in the airport, you're like, I guess I'll get beef jerky and some gummy bears. Yeah, exactly.
00:25:29
Why did I airport sushi? Why did I get a big yogurt that just exploded in my purse? It's always some
00:25:35
problem. A banana. So I'm just sitting on this flight all like, good. What time is it? What day
00:25:43
is it? And the lady comes by and just hands me this little box that looks like it's a China
00:25:48
pattern and then when you open it up it's just a cheese sandwich and i was like cheese sandwich
00:25:54
what are they doing i like turned and cried out the window it was the most delicious cheese
00:26:03
sandwich and then i look over george's george's in the same aisle but on the other side we don't
00:26:11
like to sit next to each other she's taking pictures of her cheese sandwich all these
00:26:16
different i think you were holding it up like this and then doing selfie but oh i was with your eyes
00:26:20
on like that yeah i was and then i realized that i had not had enough water because this was just
00:26:26
all crinkles so i didn't post it oh yeah i made a botox appointment for when i get home anyway
00:26:35
more botox yeah all right i'm just as a 48 year old let me just say the wrinkles keep coming
00:26:43
you can botox all you want i think that's the saddest thing about um like in the 90s uh there's
00:26:52
a lot of american actresses got a shit ton of filler because someone told them like it's okay
00:26:57
if you smoke we'll just fill in the lines around your lips with filler which they did and it looked
00:27:02
great for like nine months but then there are lines in between the filler lines is that what
00:27:07
happens. And then there's some stories of the filler floating around their face. So the filler
00:27:13
leaves the lip area and just goes wherever the fuck it wants. Wait, am I making a huge mistake
00:27:20
by injecting shit into my face? Well, have you done filler? Yes. Have you really? Yes. You look
00:27:26
great. Oh, thank you. It's so natural. Well, it's gone now. Oh, it's just dissolved. It's floated
00:27:32
behind your ears. The back of my head has never been perkier. That's how you get small features
00:27:39
in a big head. It's all filler. It's just filler. That's right. This podcast is brought to you by
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slash MFM. Goodbye. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer,
00:29:52
Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent the future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14 Making plays that end up on everyone feed scoring from angles that don make sense rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust
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Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation, and Hyundai doesn't either. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach.
00:30:11
Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle. Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability.
00:30:19
And Hyundai continues doing it every day. From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far-off concept.
00:30:27
It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye.
00:30:35
Should we? Yeah, on that and on that note. Hey. So weird. Gorgeous. It is. Yes. And all the weird things about this podcast, which there are many.
00:30:48
The fact that we get applauded when we sit down might be the weirdest fucking one.
00:30:53
This part. I love it. And, oh, this is a true crime comedy podcast. That's right.
00:31:01
Just to let you know. Well, you know and like it, but did you hear not everyone applauded?
00:31:09
Because some people just wandered in off the street. some people got brought here by a really pushy spouse or partner or best friend who is like i
00:31:18
don't care right okay this is for this part's for you guys you were like the person that you're here
00:31:25
with was like i don't care what you like or don't like we're coming to this show because it's my
00:31:29
passion remember that time that you know i i picked you up at the airport and then bought you gas or
00:31:36
something like that. And then, so now it's the big get back. Yeah. Yeah. So sometimes it's a little
00:31:41
bit sensitive because we're going to be talking about horrible crimes that happen to real people
00:31:46
and it's terrible. But then also because it's a personal conversation between two friends that's
00:31:51
now public, uh, incredibly public and recorded. And because we're, we have anxiety and the best
00:31:58
way to deal with that is not to be normal and kind. It's through humor. It's through to laugh
00:32:03
about things so so right it's just the way it turned out but we're not like you know what i
00:32:09
mean we're not and then the well look and the bottom line is if that situation makes you
00:32:14
comfortable get the fuck out right now that's right now it can get any better everyone's like
00:32:20
oh no they want me to leave don't go please we have anxiety i already told you don't hurt her
00:32:28
feelings. It's my birthday. Suddenly I think it's my birthday. That doesn't make any sense.
00:32:36
I love it though. It's my birthday too. Okay. Well, I'm going to go first because mine is particularly
00:32:42
sensitive. Thank you. You got this. Just do it. Alright. You ready? We don't usually get Evian water.
00:32:53
We really don't. We usually get water from a company you've never heard of. It's like the local water
00:32:59
from the taps. Yeah, it has mount, it's like mount tap water. Drink up, suckers.
00:33:05
I love that we both, you can tell we're both fancy because we both like labeled it out.
00:33:09
To be like, look at us, you guys. Oh my God. Although whenever they post on Instagram,
00:33:17
everyone on Instagram is like, oh, they must have made it. They made it. They have Evian.
00:33:23
Evian. That's like their shitty tap water here. I know. Nobody fucking drinks Evian, but...
00:33:29
They're like, it tastes like nickels to us. That's prison water. Everyone knows that.
00:33:37
Prison water. Prison water. Is that a big name? Okay. Here is the fucked up story of Nikita Bergenstrom.
00:33:46
Oh, we have to find a translator. Oh, that's right. First, I thought you were still saying the last name.
00:33:54
That'd be a long name. We are in countries where now, normally in America, we can't pronounce things.
00:34:01
No. And that's where we're from. Now we're in places, you should have fucking seen us in Oslo.
00:34:06
You should have seen what was happening. There were things where we'd be like, is it Rulvstalder?
00:34:13
And they'd be like, it's okay. We're like, what the fuck? And they were so nice.
00:34:18
They didn't even correct us half the time. So we're like, we got it right. And they're like, no, you didn't.
00:34:22
But we don't want to be rude. Actually, the first girls that we met in the meet and greet afterwards,
00:34:28
this girl walks up and goes, just so you know, we don't care how you pronounce it.
00:34:33
God, I wish we'd met you beforehand. Yep. Oh, so anyway, we're going to ask one of you to help us.
00:34:40
This guy's really into it. Do you speak Swedish? Okay. Stay there. No, no, no. Nope.
00:34:47
You're out. You're out. So basically what happens is when we say something wrong, everyone's...
00:34:54
Karen loves him. Oh, no. Karen's new best friend. What's your name? Miyaku. Oh, my God.
00:35:01
Miyaku? Is that a common name? It's actually Irish. Fuck you. Yeah, I don't think so.
00:35:10
She loves him. That's how you know. Okay, we're going to go to you for help, okay?
00:35:14
Okay. So you can't say, like, I don't know, or this is weird, or anything like that.
00:35:17
You have to give us answers. Just raise your hand, though. Yeah. All right. Yeah, especially if we say something and everyone in the crowd is like, oh, that's not true.
00:35:26
We really need you to be like, it's okay, it's not true. Just we need you. You're like our hype man.
00:35:34
He's so sad he doesn't get to come on stage. Just like, I don't want to do it anymore.
00:35:40
All right. So a lot of this was translated in a translator on Google. and it doesn't
00:35:48
because there's not a ton of English articles about this. Why did I pick it? That a great question There a lot of questions Can I just say one really quick yeah i retweeted this on the my favorite murder twitter this morning somebody wrote in swedish to us this morning and when a
00:36:07
message about the show tonight and when google translate when the translation came up it said
00:36:12
i'm so pepper to come to your show tonight is that a thing that's the cutest thing i've ever heard
00:36:20
So like saying I'm so pepper, but in Swedish is like a thing you guys say? Pepper.
00:36:26
Peppered or pepper? Pepper. That's, I'm doing that from now on. It seems like a mistake.
00:36:33
Like Google, you don't know how to translate, but it's actually the cutest. That's it.
00:36:37
It's slang. Okay. Right off the bat, here's an impossible to pronounce name. so Nikita Bergenstrom
00:36:46
he was known originally as Juha Vieko Val Ciacala really? are you guys just being supportive?
00:36:58
I appreciate it he's born on June 13th you didn't say that last name I know because they were applauding over it
00:37:04
so I just really quickly got it out in Pori, Finland I love you guys we might not need you
00:37:14
We might already be great at this. Do I speak Swedish? Oh my God! He was the only child.
00:37:21
His mother was said to be a nervous woman. And his father is described as absent and conflicted.
00:37:29
How do they know if he's absent? Early on, it was apparent that their son had some mental issues.
00:37:38
He was hyperactive, and he suffered from infantile rage eruptions. I have those.
00:37:48
Can you imagine a baby just, like, super pissed off? Fuck you! I don't want to fucking do that, which is like, oh, shit.
00:37:58
Oh, shit. We made a mistake. When he was six years old, his mother took him to a counselor,
00:38:04
and that began his long cycle of school homes and youth prisons. he was shorter than his peers at school
00:38:10
so he was beaten and bullied and in turn he beat up and bullied the kids who were younger and
00:38:16
less whatever strong than he was he when he would fight them and beat them up he would order them to kneel and force them
00:38:24
to pray for mercy so he was like immediately a bad dude as a kid like problem child
00:38:30
immediately you're not interpreting that as he's very religious I mean google translate
00:38:36
it's on you By the age of 15, he had already been arrested by the police 65 times.
00:38:45
That's too many. By the age of 18, you said? 15. 15. 15. I wish I could do fast math and be like, you mean twice a month?
00:38:54
Or whatever. I mean, like, yeah. Even if it never happened again, that's too many in a lifetime.
00:39:02
That's when you know it's time to. That's 63 more than I've been arrested. That's for sure.
00:39:07
Stop it. I love it. This is where you find out that I'm a hardened criminal. That's why they always pull you aside in customs and grill you.
00:39:20
I decided to wait until Stockholm to tell you. By then, in August 16th, 1982, he's sentenced for the first time in Sweden.
00:39:32
And he's arrested for theft. Snattering. What? What? What? What is snattering? Hold on, hold on.
00:39:42
Snattering? It's shoplifting. Oh! Snattering is a way better word. Way cooler. I'm so peppered because I got arrested for snattering.
00:39:56
I know! This is awesome. Yeah. Also for damage and unlawful driving. Damage. Is that when you drive with your palm?
00:40:13
What's your damage? Then he met Marita Rudolami. Rudolami. Then he met Marita. Marita Rudolami sounds like an Italian name.
00:40:29
Marita Rudolami. She was the total opposite of him. She was laid back and chill and kind of a meek girl.
00:40:38
They met while Marita was sitting on a park bench. Then he drives by in a stolen car, fucking pulls up to him, her,
00:40:47
which every girl who's like, I'm born in my hometown, is now just like, I'm in love with this dude.
00:40:53
And he says, hey, this is what I took from it. And it's probably not how it went.
00:40:59
But he goes, hey, I'm a rock musician. and they fall in love based on this story I translated.
00:41:07
Great. What if the real story is he's a geologist? Either way. So she basically becomes his little subject.
00:41:16
He's like this fucking rocker dude and she's just, he got what he always dreamed of,
00:41:21
which someone had hypnotic power over her, they said. And she had a twin sister.
00:41:28
That relationship goes downhill. It's like the two, Marita and Juha have a terrible relationship.
00:41:37
Sister is like, fuck this dude. She, yeah, didn't like him, which is like what sister likes her sisters.
00:41:46
What's what sisters are for? Yeah. My sister's always like becomes too chummy with the dudes I'm with.
00:41:52
And I'm like, get away from him. Leave him alone. After you break up they still hang out Yes it true Really Oh that not good Not hang out but are like Facebook friends My sister is never interested in anything I doing ever
00:42:08
And the one time she, like, the best thing she ever did for me was when I was in my 20s.
00:42:13
And I became obsessed with this guy. Like, I was obsessed. I was also on speed. So that was affecting the love that I was feeling.
00:42:22
Yeah, it will do that. And I couldn't stop. I would talk about this guy all the time.
00:42:26
Your eyes were just huge. The whole time. Just like so much talking and smoking.
00:42:31
But you were so skinny. I was the skinniest I've ever been. And then it gave me epilepsy.
00:42:39
What? There's a lesson. There's a lesson. I know. I shouldn't crack up at that. It's true, though.
00:42:45
I know. But as I was obsessing over this guy and talking to my sister about it, I was like, and he showed up at a party, and he was asking people where I was.
00:42:52
And my sister and I are on the phone. On the other end, she just goes, he sounds like a dork.
00:42:59
And then I couldn't like him anymore after that. I was just like, yeah, that is actually kind of dorky.
00:43:05
It's pretty lame. I love it. Crush killer. Your sister, Laura, is a real talker.
00:43:10
She doesn't give a fuck. Yep. Okay, so they fall in love. At some point, Nikita is the name he eventually changes his name to,
00:43:20
which is way easier to pronounce. At 22 years old, he's released from prison for being there for certain reasons.
00:43:27
I don't know. Snattering. Snattering, probably. And damage. And damage. He's released from prison in Turku.
00:43:38
Turku? Fucking, you're like five for five right now. This is the only place I've ever been where you actually spell it like it's pronounced.
00:43:49
Or you're really nice. Are you just being nice? Yeah. Are they just being nice? Oh, it's Finnish.
00:43:56
Okay. Oh, the Finnish are here representing. Great. The Finnish are here to say, it's our language that's easy.
00:44:06
Okay, yeah. Got it. And also, we have good chocolate, too. Probably. I would imagine.
00:44:14
Okay, so May 1st, 1988. he's released and he and Marita start wandering through Sweden and Finland
00:44:22
Marita's 21 at this point and they're just kind of like assholes they like steal cars
00:44:28
they're just like living this life of they think they're fucking Bonnie and Clyde or Sid and Nancy
00:44:34
which is like oh god that's so tired and like fucking figure your shit out you know what I mean?
00:44:39
It's so 20s Yeah, it's so 1920s but it's the 80s Is that what you mean? No. Because wasn't that when Bonnie, oh, no, no, that was the, yeah, it was the 1920s.
00:44:52
Well, Bonnie and Clyde, yes. That's what I meant. I meant, like, when you're in your 20s, you think that's cool.
00:44:57
You know, the human age, 20. Well, both work, technically, but you're right. No, that way definitely works, too.
00:45:05
No, you don't have to be nice. I'm trying to be nice. I appreciate it. Wait, sorry.
00:45:09
Can I just do a quick sidebar? I'm always and forever. You guys, ABBA reunited. What?
00:45:16
I thought... You guys don't care that much? You saw it coming. You saw it coming.
00:45:24
Okay. Just remember. They're like, we know. We're from here. It was our idea. We made that.
00:45:30
They said at dinner that they were going to do that. Okay. Then they are there. Bonnie and Clyde.
00:45:37
Stupid. 1920s. Solid. Solid. So they had a car that they had stolen. and they are in, this isn't going to be right because there's a weird, there's a thing over
00:45:54
this letter that isn't an umlaut. Oh. Amstil. Oh. Okay. Oh. Oh. Got it. So they're there, they're at a church in Oha.
00:46:11
You really should be up here. Actually, do you want to just do this? They had been drinking liquor and eating chips,
00:46:19
and they're kind of just fucking around in this car in this small town, being assholes.
00:46:23
Then Nikita wants to steal a bicycle that he had seen before. So they're walking by this, like...
00:46:30
Greedy. I know. Well, okay, it gets fucked up. Okay. Here we go. Okay. All right.
00:46:36
That was all fun. Now, so they're walking by this house. It's a beautiful neighborhood, I guess, with, like, high-end houses and stuff.
00:46:43
They see this bike. he wants to steal it he grabs it and starts puts it on his shoulder and just walks away with it
00:46:49
and the um family i spit the family um i'm just wondering why i didn't ride away it's faster
00:46:57
it's lighter smoother isn't it less conspicuous instead of lifting a bike above your head
00:47:06
anyway so the owners of the bike and the house are Sten Nilsen and his 15 year old son Frederick and they
00:47:16
get in their car and follow them the chase ends at the cemetery where Sten and Frederick are both
00:47:24
like give us back our fucking bike and Nikita pulls out a shotgun and he makes them get on their
00:47:32
knees and he executes both of them. This 15-year-old kid and his father. It's horrifying.
00:47:41
And then it gets even worse when their mother heard the gun blast. Her name's Ewa.
00:47:48
E-W-A. Eva? Oh, cool. Okay, Eva. She comes to the cemetery to see what's going on
00:47:58
and he stabs her to death. Whoa. This dude is an absolute piece of shit. So their friend found them later and the bodies later.
00:48:10
And at this point, Nikita and Marita had fled. And they had fled for seven days through Sweden.
00:48:20
And the newspapers, of course, call them the 80s Bonnie and Clyde, which is like so tired.
00:48:28
As I keep saying. 60 years old but the police managed to trace them because their car tires
00:48:36
they had kept the car that they had stolen originally and they tracked them down
00:48:40
in Pajala Paya Paya Paya Paya Paya Paya Paya Paya They're arguing with you Better you than us
00:48:58
Hold a sec Are you from Irvine, too? Paella. Paella. Thank you. Isn't that a rice dish?
00:49:13
That's why I knew I was saying it wrong. It sounded way too much like that. So then one of the most extensive manhats in Swedish history ensues.
00:49:22
They find them there, and they're arrested. in Denmark. Thank you. Denmark. Okay.
00:49:40
The same morning that they're caught is the memorial service for the Nielsen family
00:49:47
is held and after the service the mourners get to find out that they finally got caught.
00:49:53
So at the trial, Marita and Nikita blame each other for the crimes. Of course. So it wasn't true love.
00:50:01
No, it wasn't. It wasn't Bonnie and Clyde. No. They didn't go out like that. It was worse than Nancy, basically.
00:50:09
She don't want. A psychiatric evaluation for both found them to be mentally competent,
00:50:14
but they find that Nikita suffered from a psychopathic personality. He had antisocial and narcissistic personality disorder
00:50:22
with uncontrolled aggression and lack of empathy. Remember when he has a baby and he's fucking raging?
00:50:28
Turns out you don't grow out of that, I guess. That sticks around. Yeah. There's no way to...
00:50:34
Yeah. I mean, maybe. You can probably try. Not for you guys. We all got this. Maybe if you did yoga or something.
00:50:41
Baby yoga's a thing. Lymphatic massage might help. Yes. But of course, in the end, the court believes Marita's version of events,
00:50:48
which is that Nikita was responsible for the murders completely. She was yelling at him to stop, which we're like,
00:50:54
Do we believe you? So this was his 12th criminal conviction, and it resulted in a life sentence and deportation on three counts of murder.
00:51:04
And then Marita got two years for complicity in assault and battery. But they released her after serving half her time.
00:51:11
And then Nikita's transferred to Finland to serve the rest of his sentence. He escapes from prison four times.
00:51:18
Oh, shit. in 1991 he tried to escape was arrested immediately then his first real escape was in April
00:51:27
94 from Rihimaki prison in Finland Rihimaki they're going to give it to us he took
00:51:38
the prison's English teacher as hostage yeah he's like you're coming with me I need
00:51:47
better books than Bonnie and Clyde to read about. I want some of that Da Vinci Code shit.
00:51:55
And he flees with a car. The teacher escapes with no harm done to him, thankfully.
00:52:01
And Nikita's apprehended. He's not very good at escaping. He's good at escaping.
00:52:07
He's just not a good... At the follow through of staying escaped. Exactly. Look, any idiot can escape.
00:52:14
You've got to stay escaped to have it matter. And from what it sounds like, the prisons are not like they are in the U.S., which are horrible.
00:52:24
So you can just kind of, they're like, please don't leave. And then Nikita's like, dude, I swear to God, I'm not going to leave.
00:52:33
I am not. It's not happening. I respect you, and I respect this whole system. This English teacher guy, I dig him.
00:52:40
Love him. Love books. I love to learn. I love to stay where you want me to stay.
00:52:47
In 1997, he tries to escape again. On May 13, 2002, he escapes from a prison in...
00:52:56
No, no. Oh. You know that town No-No? It's right outside of... Here we go. Paiselka.
00:53:05
Nope. They don't even know it. It's finished. It's finished? He's blaming you guys.
00:53:11
It's finished with his arms crossed. You should be able to do this. it's finish.
00:53:18
Then he, okay, so meanwhile, all these women are writing him fucking love letters
00:53:22
in prison. He gets married when he's in prison. He escapes with his wife and then he goes
00:53:29
back to prison because it doesn't work again. Like she springs him out of jail somehow?
00:53:35
I don't, it didn't, there's no articles in English. I just want to make this clear.
00:53:39
I'm doing my best. And then he comes back and tries to commit suicide by hanging.
00:53:45
That doesn't fucking going to work either. April 19, 2004, with a 24-year-old prisoner,
00:53:53
he escapes again It says fellow which is what it translated to which I think is adorable Just a guy with a bowler hat and one of these mustaches Steven I love to escape with you
00:54:07
Right this way. He said, I'll be the Bonnie to your Clyde. I love that film. And then the guards, but the guards are like, hey dude.
00:54:21
After a few hundred meters, the guards are like, no, and turn him around and point him in the direction of the jail, and he goes back.
00:54:30
They're like, stop it. Yeah. Stop it. Stop it. Then he escapes again in 2006 for the fourth time, this time from the labor prison in Hamina.
00:54:43
Hamina. Hamina, Hamina, Hamina. They're like, ha, ha, fuck you. Ha, ha, ha. Get one right.
00:54:54
On November, then in 2006, okay, so he escapes this time for like a week, but they swarm the apartment that was suspected to be his hideout,
00:55:04
and I think he hides in like a bathroom, and then they raid the place, and he goes back to prison.
00:55:11
Because they'll always check the bathroom. Yeah, that's not the one place they won't look.
00:55:16
That's the closet in like the rafters. You've got to get under that house if you want to not get caught.
00:55:24
That's right. Someone wrote that he must have had good reason to keep escaping because being in prison in Finland is almost like not being in prison at all.
00:55:34
He got to have... Sorry, I can't credit any... I didn't write down who wrote this,
00:55:38
but he got to have private visits with the wife during weekends or special occasions, like the weekend.
00:55:46
They're allowed to... Prisoners are granted permission of leave after they've served half their sentence,
00:55:52
especially if there's an important reason, a.k.a. they can go on fucking vacay. Oh.
00:55:57
And it's paid for by the government. Is this true? I mean. You guys are amazing.
00:56:06
I'm not leaving here. Also, when you were in prison, wouldn't you get so good of thinking up special occasions?
00:56:14
We were just like, my dad loves turkey. So anyhow, we're going to have a feast. I've got to take off Sunday to the following Thursday.
00:56:28
And if I could get a ride from one of you guards, that would be awesome. I could try.
00:56:32
I can escape, but I'm just sick of walking. I'm so tired of climbing. So it's okay.
00:56:39
They're allowed to leave all the time. But here's one of the rules. the cheapest way of travel must be used.
00:56:46
Good. You cannot have first class. Did you kill a family? Well, then no limousine service for you.
00:56:55
The thing about it that I love is that this is what actually happens in the U.S.,
00:57:01
even though we're like, don't let that happen. But you guys are like, no, no, that's going to happen.
00:57:05
We let people off way too early, but we don't. But while they're there, it's very bad.
00:57:12
That's true. Yeah. So then when they get out, they're just happy and great. Yeah, everything's fine.
00:57:17
They're like, I'm different now. Okay. And they can't leave the Nordic countries.
00:57:23
Okay. They're like, but I have to go to Ibiza. It's a special occasion. It's special to me.
00:57:33
Then, on October in 2006, the Finnish Supreme Court, the option of pardoning Nikita comes up in the summer of 2008.
00:57:44
Clearly, this is confusing. And Sweden's like, fuck that shit. They get really pissed off about it.
00:57:51
Swedish Justice Minister Beatrice. It's not Ask, but I... Is it? That's an awesome name.
00:58:00
Don't doubt yourself ever again. Okay. Never ever again. It's me, Beatrice Ask. What does she do?
00:58:09
She's the Justice Minister. That's right. Do not step to Beatrice Ask. She was like, that's interesting, because he had escaped so many times
00:58:19
and committed further crimes and tried to escape again, it says. But everyone was, like, expecting it to happen.
00:58:30
He'll have spent 20 years behind bars, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay. So in 2008, he changes his name to Nikita,
00:58:37
and he's released on conditional terms in 2008. You guys, I just don't know. Did anything happen in 2008?
00:58:46
But yes, he's arrested again for breaking his terms. He admitted to endangering the traffic,
00:58:53
stealing a vehicle and driving a vehicle without a license and driving an unlicensed taxi.
00:58:58
What? That's some serious snattering right there. You fucking... He carjacked a cab driver?
00:59:10
I guess so. Jesus. So... He doesn't give a fuck. No, there are zero fucks to give.
00:59:19
And like, yeah. So his conditional release is made permanent in 2008. Oh, what a year.
00:59:27
After the Helsinki court granted him a pardon after 19 years of serving a sentence.
00:59:32
and this dude, Dan Axel Carlson, was one of those who witnessed the bodies being found at the cemetery
00:59:39
and he said, it's not good that he was pardoned, but what can one do? I'm like, amen.
00:59:52
Shit. Yeah. He kind of right Then he said that people don talk about it in the town People want to forget it which is like Oh yeah Then um so then he okay I think he in
01:00:09
he was in prison as of 2012 and writing his autobiography. And then, um, he was in prison again for, among other things, sabotage and ill treatment.
01:00:24
What? Of whom? Don't know. I hope not of that gentleman. The fellow? The good fellow.
01:00:33
According to the Helsinki District Court, he had burned and beaten two people about a year earlier.
01:00:37
What the fuck? Wait, what? And then there's just no more updates about him. Oh, no.
01:00:44
So he might be here? Oh, my God. so keep your eyes peeled you guys this is the fucking monster who uh yeah who murdered
01:01:00
sten nilsson frederick nilsson and eva nilsson that's that all right all right that was great
01:01:08
sweating yeah these oh these it's it's hard and it's hard enough to do these stories
01:01:23
then to do them in front of people who are so much smarter than you it's very frustrating and
01:01:30
some people who you like and also a spattering of people that you know aren't into it and then
01:01:35
You're saying things wrong, and you forget your deodorant, so you had to buy some at the pharmacy,
01:01:41
and it's not working the way your hardcore deodorant. A lot of issues. That you get in the U.S. works.
01:01:47
Because the deodorant there is hardcore because they don't give a shit that it's killing you.
01:01:50
Right. Here, they're like, we don't want to kill you, so you should smell. It's fine.
01:01:54
Yeah, no. I mean, I like it. We have aluminum in ours. No, that was great. That was really good.
01:02:00
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01:04:22
I am going to do Sweden's, I guess you would say, most infamous serial killer, Thomas Quick.
01:04:36
You know this one? You don't? Not off the top of my head. This is the best. Like, every time we do a show, this is what you go like, I'm going to do this thing.
01:04:48
and it's just like... Yeah, that's great. Okay, tell me everything. So, this story is so fucking nutso.
01:05:02
Like, it's so dark and awful and the details are horrible. And then there's like a left turn.
01:05:08
And then there's like a right turn. And then you're like, what is happening? Is this whole thing...
01:05:12
Like, I watched, there's a documentary on it that's really great. But as I was watching it, I'm like,
01:05:17
is this whole thing fake? Like, it just goes into the realm of like so beyond surreal.
01:05:23
All right, so we'll just start it out. Okay. The documentary is called The Confessions of Thomas Quick,
01:05:29
and there's also a bunch of books I'm sure you all know. One I was reading from was The Making of a Serial Killer by Hannes Rostam.
01:05:37
Wow. All right. so we're going to be talking about a man named Stuart Bergwall at first. Okay. So stay with me.
01:05:50
I there I here She pronounced that I do my best and then she fucking corrects me We have never heard these vowels before
01:06:08
Our language is easy to do. It's flat and right out your mouth and just talk like this.
01:06:13
Everything you do, there's 17 extra things. Circles above letters, dots, circles.
01:06:21
Last night in Oslo, every person that came to the VIP, I'd go, what's your name? And they'd go
01:06:25
and then I'd go and they'd go, Kristen. Everyone just has a name for stupid Americans.
01:06:36
The stupid American translation. It's Kimberly. Just call me Kimberly. I don't even care if you know my name.
01:06:44
Just let's get it over with. Okay. Student Boogba. Now we're on the verge of me being sarcastic at you, and that's rude.
01:06:59
And I'm sure there's some people that are like, fuck you, lady. How about you learn one other language besides your own?
01:07:06
Fair, which is fair. We agree. I'm going to get Rosetta Stone, I swear. Okay, he was born April 26, 1950 in Fallon.
01:07:18
Are you from Fallon? do you know that a lot of this takes place in fallon are you so excited about fallon right now
01:07:30
her friend is holding her back i know okay i'm sorry but i'm gonna go to the fallon expert okay
01:07:38
you've been great you've been amazing you got my back appreciate it For the great Irishman Michael O'Flannery who helped us out for that whole last story, thank you so much.
01:07:51
What's your name? Mariah. Oh, I can say that. Okay, Mariah, I'm going to go right to you.
01:08:01
And I'm going to make Mariah Carey jokes. We're going to have the best time. Okay.
01:08:05
All right. So, Stura is born. There are seven kids in his family. He has a twin sister.
01:08:14
The father is depressive and absentee. How do they know he's depressive? Right. And he's in absentee.
01:08:23
His mother basically has to do everything by herself. So the kids, of course, when you're in a family with that many kids, you know, get the individual attention that all these asshole children these days seem to all get.
01:08:37
Yeah. A turnout fine. Oh, someone's home when you get home from school. Oh. Oh, you got a cheese sandwich made for you?
01:08:45
People like you? This is a Pentecostal Christian family. He is the black sheep of the family.
01:08:53
He can never do anything right. And he has some problems in school. When he's 14, he realizes he's gay, which back in this time, which is like 1964,
01:09:06
was actually a psychological diagnosis. Like it was not allowed. It was a serious problem.
01:09:12
So, you know, he had that discomfort with him all the time. Then he starts getting in trouble for touching classmates in school.
01:09:20
He basically just gets labeled the problem child. He, come on. Mariah. Mariah. Mariah, don't.
01:09:31
He also writes some fucked up poetry. If you watch the documentary, there's a poem that they read and they put like the text
01:09:38
over like a snowy pathway. And it's like, I pluck out your feathers. I bite off your tongue.
01:09:45
And it's like, uh-oh. Uh-oh. Okay, so as we all do in our teens, he soon begins experimenting with drugs to escape his feelings.
01:09:57
Oh, sure. Whoa! Escape those feelings. Quick reminder that feelings are still there when you sober up.
01:10:09
Yeah. that's the thing about drugs that's the thing about feelings drugs and feelings
01:10:17
do not cancel each other out and he was specifically super into amphetamines oh fine me too me too
01:10:27
uh so he is super skinny um okay he's 19 he gets um a job at a rest home and there he meets the
01:10:39
manager of the rest home who's 20 years a senior, a man named Tom, and they fall in love. It's his
01:10:44
first real relationship. And he like really falls in love for the first time. He finally feels
01:10:48
like he's okay with himself and he's connected to another person and kind of like everything's
01:10:53
going good. Tom was also struggling with his sexuality because again, it wasn't an okay thing
01:10:59
in any way back then. So several months into the relationship, he gets to work and finds out that
01:11:06
Tom has killed himself. Oh, no. It's horrible. So after kind of getting his life together and having things be on track,
01:11:14
he just goes right back to the drugs. Goodbye. And the excessive drinking, right?
01:11:18
Oy vey. So he ends up getting a job at, how did I say it? Fallon Hospital? Fallon.
01:11:29
Fallon. Like someone fell down earlier, they've fallen. And they keep falling. And they keep falling.
01:11:35
I keep falling and falling and falling. And I'm falling in and out. That'll be my reminder.
01:11:45
Okay. Okay. Soon after he gets a job in a hospital, which I always hate these stories of people that are fucked up and then get jobs in hospitals.
01:11:52
Because you're never more like you're all sick in the hospital with an IV and then there's some creeper coming into your room like, oh.
01:12:00
I'm trying to work some shit out. And you probably don't... If you work in an office and you're crazy,
01:12:06
everyone's like, that's a crazy guy in the office. But you're in a hospital where all this shit's going on all the time,
01:12:10
and you're not going to be like, that guy is particularly crazy. No. Because everyone's fucking not sleeping and losing their mind.
01:12:17
Yeah, exactly. Everything's always in emergency mode, so you can just kind of be like...
01:12:21
It would be if you were super calm that people would be like, something's wrong with that guy.
01:12:25
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the problem is that he starts molesting children in the hospital.
01:12:32
Oh, no. So he gets actually caught. He does it four times and the last time. It's a nine-year-old boy who's sleeping.
01:12:41
He starts to sexually assault him. The boy wakes up and starts screaming. So then he tries to cover his mouth, tries to make him be quiet, and starts to strangle him.
01:12:48
The boy, his nose starts bleeding. And so then Stuart runs away and thinks he killed him because of the blood.
01:13:01
The kid survives, and Stuart is convicted for this attack and the three other attacks,
01:13:09
and he is sent to a mental hospital. So much like in your story, as his treatment progresses,
01:13:18
he starts to tell his therapist I have sadistic thoughts I have thoughts of pedophilia
01:13:24
and he's very honest about what's going on with him so then he starts being seen on an outpatient basis
01:13:30
because he's so honest with everybody that they were like this is great thank you for your true feelings
01:13:36
that's all we want we just hate lying so much so why don't you take a hike alright so then
01:13:45
in 1974 he moves to Uppsala. Wow. Wow. Good job. Shit. Love it. I'm going to come on vacation here and pronounce things all the time.
01:14:01
He's 23. He thinks he wants to become a doctor. He's interested in psychiatric analysis.
01:14:06
I bet he fucking is. They always are. They always are. But really his life starts to seriously revolve around drugs.
01:14:15
He drinks excessively, takes a lot of Valium. You wouldn't point at me like that.
01:14:20
You know, Georgia. Valium, constantly on it. You've never talked to me about Valium in any way.
01:14:27
I don't think I've ever taken it. But I've done meth. You never did a line of meth and then immediately took a Valium?
01:14:35
They call that the Uppsala surprise? Sorry. here's the other thing that he likes to do
01:14:45
this is so insane he sniffs trichloroethylene which is an industrial solvent oh man
01:14:54
he pours some basically you know some stuff that gets up like industrial strength glue
01:15:01
but if you want to get rid of that glue just pour some of this stuff on there rub it around
01:15:05
take a big huff of it oh I've done that I've never done Valium but I've done that
01:15:10
no that's not true they were all like oh fuck oh no okay so he starts to go to there's a gay bar called Agda
01:15:20
that he goes to and he meets another student named Leonard Hugglund H-G-L-U-N-D Hugglund
01:15:31
I've got this you two are going to have to fight later by the way and we'll see who wins
01:15:40
A fight to the death. Okay, so he meets this guy. They go back to Leonard's apartment.
01:15:48
And while that guy's in the bathroom, Suda sniffs some of his special solvent that he loves so much.
01:15:55
So when the guy comes out of his bathroom, Suda thinks that he's a monster. Oh, no.
01:16:01
And he picks up a butter knife and starts stabbing him. A butter knife? A butter fucking knife.
01:16:06
Oh, no. So he leaves him there. he uh stabbed him 12 times leaves him there bleeding out um he's never arrested for this
01:16:17
crime um he actually that when he's caught for it the authorities are like well he was already in a
01:16:23
mental hospital so we're just going to send him back to the mental hospital why so they just send
01:16:27
it back okay um so he basically and essentially faces no consequences for this stabbing attack
01:16:33
so then he's basically out again in a matter of months so then after this you know some of the
01:16:45
some of the articles it was like he had such a terrible time he never did that drug again
01:16:50
which is like oh that's good and so he that instance made him get his life together so
01:16:57
he spent all of the 80s sober, which is a huge accomplishment, actually. My mom couldn't even do that.
01:17:05
I mean, very few people could. But then, at the end of the decade, he gets back on drugs.
01:17:14
In 1990, and this is nuts, he clearly went for it. He's 40. He and an 18-year-old accomplice decide they want to rob a bank, but they don't want to
01:17:24
go to the bank and rob it. So what they did is they put on Santa Claus masks and they went to the bank manager's house and basically did a home invasion.
01:17:31
They knock on the door. The bank manager answers it. They rush in. They have knives and a gun.
01:17:37
And while the 18 year old takes the bank manager back to the bank to steal money,
01:17:46
Stura stays with the mother and the boy who's in the house and for like two hours,
01:17:51
like threatens them and is crazy and on drugs and super scary. saying horrible things like he is going to die of AIDS so he doesn care what happens like just horrible psychological trauma Um they caught later that day um cause they
01:18:06
drug addled idiots. And, um, so he ends up getting sent to, uh, I believe it's pronounced
01:18:13
Sater Mental Hospital. Sater. I'm like a monkey that you trained. It's just like,
01:18:25
I can talk. I can talk. She'll do anything for applause. Okay. So this is like once the family who up until this point had been like, you had a hard time, you have mental illness, whatever.
01:18:40
They'd tried to be supportive of him as he had gone through these things. But this was the final straw where they were like, everyone stop talking to him.
01:18:47
You're on your own. So after two years, he's at this place. And this is basically a prison.
01:18:55
It's like a mental hospital prison kind of thing. Good. Right? But he's lonely. He feels disconnected.
01:19:03
He also thinks that he's uninteresting in his therapy sessions. What? He feels bad about not having good stories to tell.
01:19:10
I feel that sometimes, too. I mean, you just want to zhuzh it up for your therapist?
01:19:14
Yeah. So one day he's out. His therapist took him to, there's a lake near the mental hospital.
01:19:21
they were there to go swimming and he turns to the therapist and said would you what would you
01:19:25
say if i told you that i'd done something really bad and she's like what you're talking about and
01:19:31
then he's like why is she swimming okay well this they it goes into this whole thing but this um
01:19:39
say it again solder well i mean like sat there okay that was it um can you help me remember
01:19:49
because I'm already trying to remember four other fucking names. Basically, they were trying to do an innovative thing
01:19:59
where they thought if they took these criminals and they put them through enough therapy
01:20:05
and got them to remember their own bad, terrible childhood memories, they believed that all of this criminal behavior
01:20:11
was based on bad childhoods and traumatic experiences as children. So they thought if they could be in therapy long enough
01:20:19
and basically bring up these repressed memories of usually sexual assault or abuse,
01:20:25
whatever bad thing happened to them as kids, that they would basically see the error of their ways,
01:20:30
they would see why they were doing these criminal acts, and they wouldn't do them anymore.
01:20:34
That was the theory. And so everything, it seems like, it was all about being very humanizing and stuff.
01:20:39
So they're just at the lake, like people like to be. And he basically tells her, what if I tell you that I murdered someone?
01:20:47
and of course she gets out of the lake she's like now I hate swimming he has her full attention
01:20:57
and she's like well what are you talking about and he basically kind of is mysterious and walks away
01:21:03
so now he gets this idea that this is a good way to get people's full attention for sure
01:21:10
he tells the therapist that he wants to now be called Thomas Quick in a therapy session.
01:21:19
And that was based on his mother's maiden name was Quick. And Thomas was the first name of a boy
01:21:25
that he says he murdered when he was 14 years old. And so everyone's like, what is happening?
01:21:31
We didn't realize that we had a murderer here. And it didn't matter because the statute of limitations was up,
01:21:38
so it wasn't like they weren't going to prosecute him for it. but this begins his confessions of these people, these children that he's murdered.
01:21:49
So the first confession that he gives in therapy, he says that he murdered a boy named Johann Asplund.
01:21:58
And this was a boy that he was, in 1980, he was 11 years old, and he went missing on his way to school.
01:22:05
Wait, so these are real? They're true? The cold cases are real, yes. Okay. So this boy went missing on the way to school in 1980.
01:22:12
It was a huge story at the time. There was like the night that they discovered he was missing,
01:22:17
hundreds of people were searching for him. But he was never found, no body was ever found,
01:22:23
and it was just a cold case. It was a famous cold case. So the new Thomas Quick tells his therapist
01:22:31
he had lured Johan into his car, driven him to the forest, killed him, raped him, stuck a knife through his heart.
01:22:37
so of course the therapist is like that sounds great I'll be back in one second and then
01:22:43
fucking books it up the hallway is she still in her bathing suit? it's a different day
01:22:53
towel around her waist? she's trying to get the water out of her ear sorry I did not hear you right
01:22:59
I have all this lake water in my ear well of course the whole staff is on high alert
01:23:05
because they're like holy shit this guy's actually a murderer. And so he becomes the most important patient at this hospital now.
01:23:14
And so they were like, this is perfect for our new aggressive treatment where this is how we're
01:23:19
going to treat mentally insane criminals. And this guy is going to be like, it's going to work on him.
01:23:25
So he begins to go to 90 minute therapy sessions three times a week with a psychotherapist
01:23:34
named Birgitta Stahl. She's a brilliant doctor. She is a devotee of this new therapy treatment
01:23:42
that they are promoting. And it's during one of the sessions with her that that all comes to light.
01:23:53
That the therapist we were talking about earlier Okay so the police are called and they basically tell Thomas you have to come and take us and show us where you buried his body And so it the therapists the police doctors they all get into a van
01:24:10
and they drive up to Sundsvall. Sundsvall. I just think if it's Sundsvall, it should be S-U-N-D-E-S.
01:24:25
V-A-L-L. Okay, then I said it right. What I realize now is there's a bunch of people that are saying other stuff and telling us we're wrong.
01:24:38
Now I don't care how I pronounce anything. We're going back to Oslo rules. Listen, it's her fucking birthday.
01:24:44
Let me have it. It's my birthday and it's pronounced Sundusval. Okay. so they're walking around out in the woods there they don't find anything there's police video
01:24:58
footage in this documentary you have to see it there's video footage where they're following
01:25:02
around and he's walking and there's a therapist with his hand right on his back that's like right
01:25:06
next to him and they would like walk and kind of point randomly and then he would cry really loud
01:25:12
and it's very embarrassing he's like where you're just like this would be such an uncomfortable day
01:25:18
trip to have to be on. They don't find anything, of course. Then he says, well, that's because I cut
01:25:26
his body up and put it in different pieces in different places. So then they do more walking
01:25:30
and more pointing and more crying in groups. And it's super weird. It's like you see these,
01:25:36
the therapists are just like right next to him and then they're just like comforting him. And
01:25:40
you really see the positive like affirmation that he's getting from all of this behavior from them.
01:25:46
so they do it for hours and they don't find anything but they still consider it a great success
01:25:53
that they did it so on the way home they go out to dinner and everybody gets a cigar
01:25:57
including Thomas Quick they all get to go to McDonald's and get fucking Happy Meals
01:26:02
in the documentary it looked like it was a pretty nice restaurant so he basically now is kind of
01:26:10
he's feeling that positive reinforcement for what this confession is bringing up
01:26:16
so he also wasn't just getting nice attention and people comforting him and liking him
01:26:24
he was also getting all the drugs he wanted because part of this therapy was it's this idea that you're bringing up these incredibly painful
01:26:32
repressed horrible memories and therefore those feeling you need to be able to take drugs to make
01:26:39
them go away even in a mental hospital they thought that I feel some flaws might be happening
01:26:44
Well, here's the drugs he was on. His daily intake, and he could get extra when he requested it, if it was a special occasion.
01:26:56
Turkey day. Right. Six, five milligrams of Valium. Four, one milligram Xanax. You're pointing at me again.
01:27:04
You're just the person I'm talking to. I do take Xanax, though. One, ten milligram pre-fill Valium.
01:27:13
Is that better? 1.5 milligram Halcyon. That's some fucking serious shit. Jesus, I never heard of it.
01:27:21
Chirohypnol, which is the date rape drug. What? He's fucking date rape drugging himself.
01:27:26
He's roofing himself. Six Trio Comp, which I don't, that's, is that the good shit?
01:27:35
Should I get that at the pharmacy? Aspirin. Are you serious? Oh. they're like yes you can get it at the pharmacy
01:27:44
it's fucking aspirin to bear some birth control and you know if I was writing that article I wouldn't have put
01:27:55
aspirin on the list but okay so essentially he in therapy starts to discover that he
01:28:05
committed all these crimes because of the terrible things which is you know what he's supposed
01:28:09
to discover that happened during his childhood, namely the extreme physical and sexual abuse done to him by his parents.
01:28:17
And he says, quote, it is my belief that every detail of my killings contained its exact
01:28:24
counterpart in what my parents subjected me to, every detail in each shade. So he tells this insane fucking story that I won't even give you all the details.
01:28:35
I'm sure you've seen this documentary. You can see it. It's so awful. He basically, it's a story where he tells a therapist, his father was raping him when he's like four years old.
01:28:45
His mother walks into the room. She's seven months pregnant. She sees what's happening.
01:28:49
She immediately miscarries. And Simon sees the baby fall out dead on the ground.
01:28:57
And then the father stabs the baby. And the father tries to feed him the baby's flesh.
01:29:03
so if I'm the therapist I would have been like sorry we need to go back uh three steps
01:29:09
this is a bit extreme I don't want to doubt you I know that you're in pain but what you're
01:29:17
basically describing like a 10 year old boy's horror movie if he could like yeah it's so crazy
01:29:23
um he also claims his mother tried to drown him in a lake a lot of lake action yeah um and tried
01:29:30
to push him in front of a bus. There is no proof of any of these things happening, and the Bergwall
01:29:36
family denies all of it, says that's not what their parents were like. It wasn't ideal childhood.
01:29:41
They're like, except for going to the lake, this is all not true. Maybe she pushed me near a bus Okay so basically these confessions continue for six years he keeps confessing to different crimes cold cases that have happened in the country or in Norway He confessed he confessed by 1999 he had confessed to 25 unsolved
01:30:10
murders and he had been convicted of five of them. Holy shit. So they're basically taking his
01:30:15
confession and then using it in court and he's getting convicted. The media dubs him Sweden's
01:30:21
own Hannibal Lecter. He's also called the boy killer. And he also, of course, by confessing,
01:30:29
they're clearing these famous cold cases that have been hanging over, you know, the country for so
01:30:34
long. And of course, selling a shit ton of newspapers, because when it first hits, it's all
01:30:39
anyone's talking about. But as the years pass, doubts start to grow, especially among...
01:30:46
I've got a couple. crime reporters who have to be there in every detail of it right and of course the victims
01:30:53
families which is just like yeah this is this case is not closed right because this isn't the
01:30:58
guy that did it right but everybody is when they bring up the inconsistencies in thomas quick's
01:31:05
stories the police that they start calling them team quick which are the psychoanalysts the doctors
01:31:11
and the police the people who really want to believe him who really want to believe him they
01:31:15
always say, well, of course he's not going to get the exact weapon right. He's very upset.
01:31:20
He's not going to get the exact location. He doesn't remember where he buried 25 bodies.
01:31:27
He's on a ton of aspirin. He's taking minimum two aspirin a day. That'll really screw you up.
01:31:32
He's fucked up on that fucking good shit. He just keeps roofing himself. Every time we ask him to tell us details, he's like, I'm roofied.
01:31:42
He's fucking out like a light. So in spring of 1996, he confesses to murdering, it's a very famous cold case in Norway,
01:31:52
a nine-year-old girl named Therese Johansson, and she had disappeared in 1988, and it spurred one of the largest police searches to date, which yours is one too.
01:32:04
I know. It's the second largest. He tells police that he had cut up her body and put it into a nearby lake near where she had disappeared.
01:32:15
The authorities drain the lake twice. They say they brought it down to a level that it had to have been in in 10,000 years.
01:32:23
They start to process the silt and water at the bottom of the lake. They do that twice, and they don't even find a single stard of bone.
01:32:32
There is nothing in that fucking old-ass lake at all. So he also claims that there was the disappearance of two Somali asylum seekers from an Oslo refugee center in 1989.
01:32:49
He claims that he murdered those two people as well. Which also now, this is fucking up his M.O.
01:32:55
Because up until that point, he had killed boys. It was always boys that had disappeared.
01:33:00
Then it was a slightly older man. Now we're getting into, now it's a little girl.
01:33:05
now it's adults. So now they're like, wait a minute. Right. But it's the crime reporters and
01:33:12
the families are going, this isn't, usually that's not how it works. And then his team is basically
01:33:17
like, no, but this is, he's such a monster. They basically, they're like, well, if you think he's
01:33:22
bad enough to do these murders, why wouldn't you think he would do these murders? Because he's a
01:33:26
monster. He's omnivorous when it comes to human beings. He doesn't care. He's not picky. So
01:33:33
essentially okay so then he confesses to murdering two women a 17 year old named Trina Jensen
01:33:43
she her dead body was found in August of 1981 as well as 23 year old Graiz Storovic
01:33:51
she was found in June of 1985 and with those two he claims that he raped them before he killed them and he claims that
01:33:59
because in the police reports that semen had been found on their bodies. How did he get access to all these reports?
01:34:07
Well, okay. I see. That's where it starts to come together. Everyone, when he makes this confession,
01:34:15
everyone's like, but you're gay, and you've been out for, like, oh, everyone knows that.
01:34:21
And, like, suddenly you're just changing that, too. Yeah. Like, you can be a murderer, but you can't not be gay.
01:34:26
Well, I guess that's not what I'm saying. I'm just reading what's on this paper.
01:34:35
Well, basically, it was just, it defied the logic of the MO. Sure. So, still, his confession held up, and he was convicted for both of those murders.
01:34:47
So, everyone's going, how does he know all these details? Because people keep saying, well, how can he not be responsible?
01:34:56
Because he's confessing, and he knows details that you would only know if you were there.
01:34:59
Okay. Turns out. you get a day pass when you're at a fallen mental hospital so you can fuck on off to the library
01:35:11
and look up any old crime you want to and that's what he had been doing holy shit yes so he had
01:35:18
been looking up cold cases getting all the information at the national library in stockholm
01:35:23
he would right let's hear it for that library and why don't you donate some money to the national
01:35:29
library. You greedy fuckers. He'd go there, read old press reports, you know, read, read whatever
01:35:40
he could. He would take notes. And he also, then there was also a lot of, this was before
01:35:47
that the people discovered that thing of how leading police could be in confession. So
01:35:55
there was a murder of a husband and wife they were Dutch tourists named Marinus Jani Stegehoes, and they had both been murdered while they were sleeping in a tent near a lake in 1984.
01:36:08
So the police recreate the scene, but they don't say to him, where was the tent, where was the car?
01:36:15
He walks up and it's all set up for him. So they're like, now just go do the thing you did back then.
01:36:21
So he's like, okay, cameras are rolling. He goes and does it. It's completely inaccurate.
01:36:26
It's wrong. It is not how it happened. so then they go we need to take a break turn that camera off they go they go over and the police
01:36:34
talk to him for a little while and then when they turn the camera back on he does it again and he
01:36:38
does it right yeah do they have that footage in the documentary yes well they have the tent they
01:36:43
have the first wrong one and it's so it's like i hate bad acting anyway so much but he's like
01:36:50
goes into this tent he's like it's like they didn't ask you to act like a bear you fucking
01:36:56
it's so bad oh my god um but basically that's what every they start putting it together that
01:37:02
they're making it as easy as possible for him to know this information aside and the library of
01:37:09
course so in total thomas quick confesses to 39 murders in sweden norway denmark and finland
01:37:15
taking place between 1964 and 1993 and he has tried and convicted for eight of these murders
01:37:21
so of course the debate is raging about whether or not it's real and by 2001 there's people that
01:37:29
are writing books where's that I don't want to find this book the first guy that wrote a book
01:37:35
it was called I'm not gonna be able to remember it off the top of my head yeah where is it
01:37:42
the da Vinci code why didn't I I should have italicized it it's a book called it doesn't
01:37:51
matter. It was basically like Thomas Quick, a mythomaniac, essentially. But it's basically
01:37:59
a person that put it all down on paper of like, there's no fucking way that all of these
01:38:03
are real. And so as the debate rages, and the press is no longer interested, it's been
01:38:09
years and years of this guy being like, I did it too. And so at first, everyone's like,
01:38:13
they got him, they got him. And after a while, everyone's like, it's not a story as much
01:38:17
anymore and it's not as interesting. It's not selling papers at all. And so in 2001, Thomas
01:38:22
Quick makes a statement that these public doubts that he keeps hearing are hurting his family
01:38:28
and also hurting the families of the victims because it's seeding all this doubt and it's
01:38:36
making it worse. So he says, I'm no longer talking to the police. I'm no longer talking
01:38:42
to anybody. And he then proceeds not to talk for seven years. Right. Now, in the meantime,
01:38:52
in 2006, Johan Asplen's parents, who is that first boy that he claimed that he killed,
01:38:58
they got a lawyer together. They got a lawyer and this lawyer got a document together. It's
01:39:02
53 page document on the weaknesses of Thomas Quick stories because they were like, it is
01:39:07
not him and all this shit is bullshit. And this document actually proves that two Somali refugees
01:39:14
that had gone missing were still alive. Yeah. Holy shit. So it's like it all, of course,
01:39:21
quickly begins to fall apart. And then in 2008, the Swedish filmmaker Hannes Rastam visits Thomas
01:39:28
quick oh now he's stood again he's back um and hannes basically says you know i've watched these
01:39:38
videos of you in like doing these reenactments and you in court and you're so clearly on drugs
01:39:45
i mean like you're fucking high as a kite and stura's like i was high as a kite you're exactly
01:39:52
right Oh my god Literally it his Rossum said to him I see in the reenact videos that you high as a kite That not me And so basically the next day
01:40:05
Stura went to his psychotherapist and said, quote, I haven't committed any of these murders I've been convicted of
01:40:13
and none of the murders I've confessed to either. That's just the way it is. Oh, that psychotherapist was like, yes, you did.
01:40:23
Yes, you did. No, but remember, you cried you cried so loud yeah we've they end up making two one-hour documentaries um that were
01:40:34
broadcast on swedish tv and basically the pub that exposed that and the public immediately was
01:40:39
like oh yeah that's now they're kind of on his side because it was so insane and then when they
01:40:45
went to retry the cases um basically all the charges got dropped right because they they went
01:40:51
and its lack of evidence was cited as the reason. Then Rostam wrote a best-selling book called Thomas Quick,
01:40:58
The Making of a Serial Killer, and it basically convinced most people of Thomas Quick, his innocence.
01:41:08
Unfortunately, Rostam died in 2012, so he wasn't there to get to see. The benefit of his work, on July 30, 2013,
01:41:18
Studer was acquitted of the last eight of his murder convictions, and the entire thing was called the judicial scandal of the century.
01:41:27
He has since been released from Sauter, and he no longer takes medication of any kind.
01:41:35
Oh, no. Yep. The one interesting thing that I think is Leonard Hugglin, who is the man that Studer attacked in 1974, doesn't buy any of it,
01:41:47
And he was quoted as saying, every time I think of Studa, my heart starts pounding.
01:41:52
He destroyed my life and he keeps on ruining my life. It makes me sick to see him on TV when he sits there in a cell and blames the hospital for drugging him.
01:42:01
It's just a big act. He started one show by saying, Thomas Quick is dead. I am Studa Burgwal.
01:42:07
When he attacked me, he was Studa Burgwal. So he like, yeah. Yeah. That was a long one.
01:42:15
Sorry. No, that was. Isn't that crazy? Crazy. Crazy. I had never heard of it. I want to watch the documentary now.
01:42:23
So nuts. Also, it's funny because they do show him a lot in that prison mental hospital,
01:42:28
and it looks like a really nice apartment. He's just, like, kicking back. He's got a cab.
01:42:34
Yep, posters on the wall. A fern. So nice. Great job. Thanks. Do you want to do a...
01:42:41
Yeah, we have time for a quick home tour. Yeah, it's time. all right a quick hometown a quickie there's some not yet there's some rules hold on
01:42:53
these are important you've heard them before you can't be so drunk that you can't follow your own
01:42:59
story that's key because it gets really boring for sober people that are just like what what
01:43:04
year didn't happen we can do it you can't do it um we want it to be local it's not any fun when
01:43:11
It's like, oh, my God, this crazy thing happened in Russia. We're like, no one cares.
01:43:15
So we want it to be local. It's great when it's personal. It really needs to have an ending.
01:43:19
That's just basic storytelling, beginning, middle, end. It's really not fun when you're like, and then they just don't know what happened.
01:43:25
And we're all like, all right, cool. And, oh, you have to remember that if you get picked, everyone else hates you.
01:43:35
So you've got to move it along. Just pace it up nice and quick. and who wants to tell us their hometown story?
01:43:42
All right, yes, behind Mariah. Yeah, yes. Guys, it's Vince, everybody. Oh, over here, honey.
01:43:54
There he is Yeah Oh man I sorry Vince got made into a skinhead today They shaved his entire head Did you do that yourself
01:44:07
There was a little miscommunication with the barber. Oh. Some of the terms are different here related to...
01:44:12
He texts me when I went to the mall. He got his hair done and he texts me and he's like,
01:44:18
it'll grow back in two weeks, I know you'd like it longer, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
01:44:22
Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi, come here. Hug me. Johanna, come here. You get in the center. Come here. Hi. It's Johanna,
01:44:36
everybody. Love your outfit. Very cute. So where are you from? I'm originally from a town like two
01:44:44
hours north of the hill called Javle. Javle? So are they. Everyone. What is Javle known for?
01:44:53
Well, coffee mostly. Oh, coffee. Yeah. Okay. Nice. But the story I'm going to tell you about
01:45:02
is actually, it's a personal story. Okay. It's about, I'm going to start from the beginning.
01:45:08
Do it. When I was a very young child, I was maybe 10 or something, I became friends with this girl in a house a few houses away.
01:45:19
And she was like two years older than me. She was really cool. We like played with the Ouija board.
01:45:27
Yeah. Scary stuff. And I used to go over to her house. She was in foster care. And she had a lot of cats.
01:45:37
So I was overjoyed. I get it. I get it. And she had like a really cool room and everything.
01:45:44
So we hung out there a lot. And later my mom told me like, yeah, you don't remember that correctly.
01:45:50
The whole house smelled of cat pee. And everything was dirty. I had to bathe her when she came over.
01:45:57
Your mom bathed the girl? Yeah. She helped her like take a shower because no one told her to.
01:46:04
Her name was Anna. and later on we lost touch because she grew up a bit faster than me,
01:46:11
started smoking, started drinking, and we lost touch. And then a few years ago, when I was over 20 at least,
01:46:20
I saw her picture in the paper and she had been killed. She had been killed. They had arrested her boyfriend.
01:46:29
She just had a son, and he left her in the apartment alone, went downstairs to his dad's apartment with the boy.
01:46:41
And his story is that when he came back, she was dead, stabbed. And so he got arrested because it's always the boyfriend.
01:46:53
And he was in jail for, like, several weeks. didn't get to see his son didn't get to see his family or anything
01:47:00
and the story could have ended there when they actually started zoning in on someone else
01:47:08
and that was the son of the family where she was in foster care that I have met ooh, yeah
01:47:14
and here's a new rule we're going to call this Johanna's rule I know add a twist-a-roo
01:47:24
I love it yeah So, and if they would have arrested him right away, that would have been great.
01:47:32
But they were still really zoned in at this boyfriend guy. So he managed to kill another girl.
01:47:39
Another girl that, she was a little bit older, and she was also in that same foster home when she was a kid.
01:47:47
And then they finally figured out it's not the boyfriend. For one time. Not this time not the boyfriend They like look usually we right Give us a break This time it was not It was this brother in this foster home and he had some ideas about
01:48:09
like satanic ideas and he wanted to drink their blood and he was like an all around creepy guy.
01:48:16
And he was still living with his parents in this foster home in a little cabin in the yard.
01:48:23
Oh no. Yeah, and his entire room was like filled with notes and photos about his foster sisters and so it was pretty
01:48:32
clear case from there and he went to prison for life. Wow. Wow. Johanna everybody. So good. That's what we want. That's exactly how it's done. Great job.
01:48:52
I would give you this, but we can't. We don't. I meant as a gift. God, that went so fast.
01:49:02
I know. At least for us. We could keep going, but I got to pee. Look, I drink all of this Evian water.
01:49:11
Listen, this is fucking insane. Our lives have just gone crazy because of this podcast.
01:49:16
And my friend today, I was texting with her, and she was like, stop saying you're lucky.
01:49:19
It's not luck. And it's like, well, yeah, we're lucky that we have the coolest fucking listeners that are so supportive.
01:49:27
Like, didn't have to be this way. And we appreciate it. And we're in fucking Stockholm because of you guys.
01:49:34
So thank you so much. It's very, uh... It's very cool to travel all the way across the world to a place where you can't pronounce any of the words.
01:49:50
And people there have heard of your podcast, listen to it and want to come and watch you do it live.
01:49:55
That's an amazing feeling. We're so grateful. What a great birthday. What's that?
01:50:00
What a great birthday. Oh, what a great birthday. It really has been. Thank you guys so much for being here with us and for getting tickets and for listening and for writing us emails.
01:50:12
We love you. Stay sexy and don't get murdered. Goodbye. Cheap Caribbean Summer Savings Event is here.
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01:51:26
Hi, it's Karen in Georgia from My Favorite Murder. We cruised around LA in the Hyundai Ioniq 5
01:51:30
and dove into the fascinating life of actress and inventor Hedy Lamarr. Want the full story?
01:51:35
Take a listen. She starts dating Howard Hughes. And in fact, she helps him design a faster plane.
01:51:42
So she finds the fastest bird and the fastest fish and sketches out a drawing of what the two would look like as a plane.
01:51:49
And that becomes the plane that we know today. And he calls her a genius. Check out our new episode spotlighting groundbreaking innovators
01:51:56
like Hedy and Lamar and Billie Jean King. Presented by the Hyundai Ioniq 5. Goodbye.