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Go to madison-reed.com slash Tori and use code Tori20. Hello. Hi. And welcome to the Minisode.
00:02:16
This is My Favorite Murder, the Minisode, where we read you your stuff. So let's start it off.
00:02:21
The subject line of this email is $10,000 at the Goodwill. Hey, y'all. Love the show.
00:02:28
Way too much to be healthy. I was at work this week and was extremely sad that I'd already binged all of the episodes.
00:02:33
I was scrolling through to see which one I was going to listen to when I saw that I somehow missed a mini-sode.
00:02:40
As I was excitedly listening to Mini-sode 50, I heard y'all read about how someone found $10,000 cash at the Goodwill.
00:02:47
Funny story, my grandfather was an old school drug dealer and used to hide his money in all kinds of crazy places.
00:02:54
Under the doghouse, under my dad's baby stuff in the attic, under trees, and apparently in clothes as well.
00:03:01
When he went to jail when my dad was young, my grandmother divorced him and donated all of his clothes to Goodwill.
00:03:08
He was released a few years later and came back to the house to collect all of his things and subsequently to find all of his cash.
00:03:15
According to my dad, my grandfather laughed in my grandmother's face when he realized she had literally given away over $12,000 worth of cash that was sewn into all of his jackets throughout the house.
00:03:27
Maybe the murderino who wrote in about her love for vintage clothing somehow found my to-be inheritance.
00:03:33
Anyway, keep up the good work, ladies. Can't wait to see you in Atlanta this fall.
00:03:38
Stay sexy and stick to legal occupations so that you can use a bank like a normal fucking person.
00:03:43
Love, S. why do people hide money in things that can be given away or just not hip their wife to like
00:03:50
right what is going on oh just tell one person like the shit i find in my purses i'm like
00:03:57
and it's not money but it's like how the fuck did this get in oh my god thank god i don't have
00:04:03
money to hide anywhere okay uh this is called they dusted the cat food container for fingerprints
00:04:10
hi excellent podcasters and your assorted furry creatures steven i guess that means you too
00:04:17
one day in october a few years ago i was working from home at around 10 in the door at around 10
00:04:23
the doorbell rang and when i peeked out the window to see who it was i caught a glimpse of a creepy
00:04:28
man in a wife beater no fucking way i was opening the door to that after i failed to answer the door
00:04:33
he cut across my yard to my back fence and opened the gate by now my brain had slowly kicked in and
00:04:39
I had picked up the phone and dialed 911. The man banged hard on my back door, and I fled to my bedroom closet like a small child.
00:04:47
No sooner had I given the operator my address and told her what was happening than he had
00:04:50
busted the lock open and was in my house. Fuck. I 100% don't know what possessed me to do this, but I marched out of my bedroom and
00:04:58
yelled, get the fuck out of my house. Because my house is so tiny, I practically ran him over as I emerged from the bedroom,
00:05:04
and I scared the ever-loving shit out of him. He turned and ran and as he fled through the kitchen he picked up a plastic container of
00:05:11
cat food that was sitting on the counter. He yelled, get away bitch and flung the cat food
00:05:16
at me. I swear I'm not making that up. I stood in the kitchen and watched him get into a maroon
00:05:21
Pontiac which sped away I told myself to remember the license plate but I was too freaked out In just a few minutes a couple of police officers arrived I told them the story and upon hearing what the perpetrator had touched a plastic container they called a forensics team
00:05:36
I wish I had thought to take a picture of the giant crime scene van that pulled it outside my
00:05:41
house. It was cool and totally horrifying at the same time. They told me they got a few prints,
00:05:45
but since I never heard anything about the crime after that, I assume they never caught the guy.
00:05:49
the moral of the story is if a shady guy rings your doorbell and tries and further tries hard
00:05:54
to make sure no one is home by pounding on your door freaking yell something as always stay sexy
00:06:00
and keep a container of cat food handy in case the crime scene technicians can use it krista so
00:06:05
like i think he was banging on the doors and like no one yelled anything so he was like great no
00:06:09
one's home i'm gonna break in and like burglar this place i just like the idea that she was so
00:06:14
scared in the beginning and then somewhere in there in the like in her own bedroom closet yeah
00:06:19
She just was like, you know what? Fuck this shit. Yeah. That's really exciting. She waited to scream, get the fuck out of here until he was inside of the house.
00:06:27
And like, like something came over. Yeah. I'm not fucking hiding in here. Well, she's lucky that.
00:06:32
Yeah, she's very lucky that it was just cat food container. And also how rude. But it's also so weird that they would fingerprint.
00:06:40
I don't know. That's cool. Okay. The subject line of this one is accidentally went to jury duty on acid.
00:06:45
Dear Karen, Georgia, Stephen, and Putz In 2012, I graduated from Illinois State University
00:06:50
And moved in with my boyfriend, now husband, the same day He had been staying with his dad in Indiana
00:06:55
So we found an apartment in nearby Valparaiso Probably not Indiana We were young and without children
00:07:04
So we participated in a lot of partying After living there for three years, I was selected for jury duty
00:07:09
Being a lifelong true crime fan, I took the calling very seriously I read the instructions thoroughly and was prepared to arrive at the courthouse on Monday morning.
00:07:18
The Saturday before I was supposed to go, my boyfriend and I went to Chicago to look for apartments as we were planning on moving back home.
00:07:24
We ended up finding the perfect place and signed the paperwork that day. That afternoon, we decided to celebrate the new apartment by taking some acid.
00:07:32
Oh, no. Of course, the jury duty was on the forefront of my mind, so I figured I'd take the acid now, trip through the night, return to normal Sunday, and arrive Monday morning ready to go.
00:07:42
At first, my plan worked. By Sunday evening, I was no longer tripping. The only problem was that I couldn't fall asleep.
00:07:48
So to solve this problem, I took two sleeping pills and passed out. I woke up Monday morning feeling exhausted and just not myself.
00:07:55
For some reason, I bypassed the business casual outfit I had laid out, put on jeans and sneakers, and showed up with wet hair.
00:08:02
By this time, I'd realized that I just needed to focus on getting through the day
00:08:06
and that taking the sleeping pills was maybe not the best idea. I was directed to a room to wait for instructions
00:08:12
A woman with a flowery dress walked in and began telling us how the day was going to go
00:08:17
I was staring at her dress and trying really hard to focus on what she was saying
00:08:21
When all of a sudden the flowers in her dress started moving I shifted my gaze to the floor and then the geometric pattern
00:08:28
That geometric pattern was also moving Yep, the sleeping pills had somehow made me start to trip again
00:08:36
And I was about to enter a courtroom By the time we made it to the jury box, I had woken up and was ready to participate.
00:08:44
The case was about someone who was being accused of selling heroin, and the cops had used confidential informants to charge him.
00:08:51
Let me say right now that I don't support the sale of heroin, but being that I was on drugs, I wasn't processing things normally.
00:08:58
For the 30 minutes that I was in the courtroom before the judge asked me to leave, I managed to tell the prosecution that confidential informants are snitches.
00:09:07
Oh, no. I believe I said, you mean snitches? And that I don't trust the police and that I made a small speech about the heroin epidemic.
00:09:18
That part's not bad, but totally not appropriate at the time. Somehow I got myself home, passed out in the middle of my living room floor on top of my laptop.
00:09:26
Stay sexy and don't take drugs before jury duty. And it's signed, your fan page.
00:09:31
Oh my gosh, she's flagged now. Like her name is flagged as someone to watch. the idea that there must have been a point in uh like her standing up and giving a speech yeah
00:09:43
where she came to talking yeah yeah because the decision to stand up and make a speech was not a
00:09:49
conscious one there's just no way just like started happening and then it's like what the
00:09:52
fuck am I doing oh no I'm talking about snitches you're ruining it for yourself holy shit um okay
00:10:01
This one is the time my friend's elderly neighbor got arrested. And there's a photo that I think Stephen is going to pull up for us.
00:10:09
Okay. This is the story when my friend's elderly neighbor got arrested. So my friend and I grew up on Cape Cod in a town called Yarmouth.
00:10:18
They spelled it out for me. Thank you. Oh, nice. At the time, my friend's parents had just decided to move out of her childhood home and move to Florida.
00:10:26
None of the kids were living there at the time, but her youngest sister, who was in her mid-20s at the time,
00:10:30
moved back in while her parents were figuring out what to do with the house. Cape Cod has the highest per capita elderly population in the state,
00:10:38
so her sister thought nothing of the old guy that lived next door. Until one day she hears some commotion outside and sees cops and a SWAT team members and such surrounding this old guy house So naturally she goes out to investigate I guess the cops had to tell her several times to go inside because it wasn safe And she said something like it my property I can be out here But eventually she goes inside Don Don go out there So once the
00:11:06
old man came out of his house and finally surrendered to the police, it turned out that
00:11:09
this old man was no old man at all. He was really a 31 year old who had been hiding from the police
00:11:14
for four months. He was wanted for drug trafficking charges. But instead of leaving town,
00:11:19
he decided to wear a movie-grade old man mask and stay in town. No way. I'm not sure how the cops figured out it was him.
00:11:28
Maybe someone ratted him out or something, but it actually wound up being national news,
00:11:32
which we all thought was hilarious. After all this, this now semi-famous picture,
00:11:37
see below, it's more Steven, of this mugshot next to a photo of him wearing the old guy mask
00:11:42
was his Facebook profile picture for a while. Let me see. Holy, no. He looks like a troll from Troll Movie.
00:11:55
It's now an important part of the local folklore. Stay sexy and trust no one, not even your elderly neighbors, Kara.
00:12:01
This guy looks like he was on Gilligan's Island and it's like Gilligan's Island old man makeup.
00:12:06
Yes. It's not good. He looks proud of himself. It's nice of her to say movie grade.
00:12:12
um but it's insulting to movie makeup artists too i mean you know what it is is i bet you he
00:12:20
look he that's a false nose for sure yeah and i bet you he like looked at something online yeah
00:12:26
yeah yeah it looks like him as an old man for sure though yeah it's not it's not a great job
00:12:32
he probably downloaded his picture into a like benjamin button style app where it's like what
00:12:36
would you look like super old and then did some kind of makeup thing on that how do you kind of
00:12:41
fun to like walk around town like as an old man and like people treat you differently probably
00:12:47
that's right it's like a real tyra banks in the fat suit style social experiment that's right
00:12:52
ryan reynolds here from mint mobile i don't know if you knew this but anyone can get the same
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00:13:15
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00:13:20
Taxes and fees extra. Default terms at MintMobile.com. Hello, beautiful. I'm Amy Eric, founder of Madison Reed,
00:13:27
a hair color company I named after my daughter. Forget everything you know about hair color.
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The mess, the smell, the hassle, the damage. I started Madison Reed because I believed
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Madison Reed. Hey everyone, it's Cal Penn, host of Earsay, the Audible and iHeart audiobook club.
00:14:29
This week on the podcast, I'm sitting down with divergent author Veronica Roth to talk about her
00:14:34
sprawling new novel, Seek the Traitor's Son. It's a sci-fi fantasy epic about two protagonists
00:14:40
on opposite sides of a war and a prophecy neither of them wanted. My first book was Divergent. And
00:14:46
when that came out, like, because it was so popular, I think it attracted like mostly positivity,
00:14:52
but the negativity I sucked in like a sponge. And I think it was like critiques of things I
00:14:58
liked when I was like, you know, I was 23 and I wrote this book and it had all my like dorky little
00:15:03
cheesy or maybe unrealistic loves in it. And I started to feel a lot of shame about those things.
00:15:11
And so for the rest of my career, I steered away from those little things that like,
00:15:17
make you feel pleasure when you read. But I also was like saying no to these parts of myself that
00:15:23
I then was like, screw it. So that's this book. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart
00:15:30
audiobook club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. This is just simply titled Car Accident Mystery.
00:15:41
Hello, MFM fam. Love your podcast. My wife works in the ER and came home one day
00:15:45
with this crazy story. She got a call that a patient was coming in after a rollover motor vehicle crash.
00:15:52
EMS reported she was ejected from the vehicle and found in the bushes near the accident.
00:15:57
When the patient arrived, she was unconscious, but other than a scrape on her knee looked unscathed.
00:16:01
Due to her lack of consciousness, they decided to place a breathing tube, which is standard procedure with this type of thing.
00:16:09
The moment after pushing the meds to intubate, the patient began screaming hysterically But since the meds had already been given they had to intubate anyway They sent the patient to a full body scan but nothing was found
00:16:26
The social worker thought that the patient looked familiar and said that she would investigate.
00:16:31
Meanwhile, my wife sent the patient to the ICU and went on with her shift. At the end of her shift, she went back to the social worker to follow up.
00:16:38
And it turns out this patient has Munchausen syndrome. when talking to the police,
00:16:43
this woman was never even in the car. It turns out this bitch was walking down the street,
00:16:50
witnessed a car accident, and then threw herself into the nearby bushes. What the fuck?
00:16:57
When EMS arrived, she played dead, pretending to be unconscious, and EMS assumed she was ejected from the car.
00:17:04
The whole time the nurses and doctors were evaluating her, she was awake. Oh my God.
00:17:09
My wife estimated that from the ambulance ride, trauma admission to ER, and then the ICU stay, it cost her $30,000 in medical expenses.
00:17:19
Holy shit. Love you guys. Erin. Oh, my God. That's awful. How sad, though. It's terrible.
00:17:28
It's terrible. But what I'm laughing at, because I should explain why I'm laughing so hard, just the coincidence that a person with munchausen is walking down the street when a terrible, I mean, a rollover car accident is a huge thing.
00:17:44
And the first thing she thinks of is, I'm going to dive into the bushes and get me a piece of this.
00:17:48
Yeah. And it's like, oh, you might get fucked up from this more than you fucking.
00:17:53
Well, I have a car accident one, too, a little bit, but it's lighthearted. So don't worry.
00:17:59
Oh, my God. This was called Minisode number 27 update. Lighthearted. Hello, MFM team.
00:18:07
You read my submission about my EMT dad back on Minisode number 27, and I thought I would provide you an update.
00:18:14
A small refresher. When I was a kid, we had come upon a flipped over minivan on the side of the desolate road
00:18:18
with a mom and several children trapped inside. I was a bit fuzzy on the details, but I remembered my dad coming back to the car covered in blood
00:18:25
after performing life-saving measures. Casual. After that episode aired, I told my brother to listen, and once he finished, he messaged me,
00:18:32
wait, you didn't even tell them the best part. And then she says, what best part?
00:18:37
So my brother went on to tell me that, yes, everyone in the car survived. Somehow the woman was able to get my dad's contact info and sent him a Christmas card every year,
00:18:47
giving him updates about the kids and continually thanking them for saving their lives.
00:18:52
One year, she sent him a small guardian angel pin that my dad put in his truck. Cut to a few years later, my dad and my brother get into a horrific car accident near our home.
00:19:01
The truck was T-boned and completely totaled. Fortunately, my dad and my brother walked away without a scratch.
00:19:07
Whoa. Yeah. My dad was really upset as he was unable to get the pin out of the car before it went away to whatever smashed up cars go.
00:19:14
But I'm 100% sure that this was a buttload of good karma coming back his way for saving that whole family years prior.
00:19:20
Just wanted to give you guys an update. Can't wait for my rad dad to walk me down the aisle next month.
00:19:25
he truly is the best. Stay sexy and make sure to cross-reference your stories with your siblings
00:19:29
before you submit them to a podcast. So true. That's hilarious. Wow. Oh, thank God they lived.
00:19:37
I mean, Jesus Christ. Both of the car accidents. Yay. Shit, man. They're the worst.
00:19:43
So bad. I hate them. Well? Send us your shit. Send us your car cars and horror stories.
00:19:51
My favorite murder at Gmail. And stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Go bye. Go bye.
00:19:57
Elvis, you want a cookie? Yeah. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same premium wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying.
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Intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra.
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