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Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. When a charming neurosurgeon rode into Frontier Town
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00:01:28
My favorite murder Hello. Hi. And welcome to the My Favorite Murder Minisode. Where we tell you your stuff.
00:01:48
Emails. Emails. Emails. That's about it. Oh. Goodbye. Before we get started, two things real quick.
00:01:58
Today, Monday, November 5th, is the day that the pre-sale tickets for our fucking winter
00:02:06
2019 tour, which we just announced, go on sale for the fan cult. So if you're a part of the fan cult, go get your tickets.
00:02:13
If you're not, remember, there's only a certain amount of tickets, even if you're in the fan
00:02:18
cult. Tickets, pre-sale, fan cult, my favorite order.com. Go for it. Roll it. And also the other announcement is that please go vote tomorrow.
00:02:29
It's very important, even if you think it's not. Please don't think it's not because it absolutely is in every way, shape and form.
00:02:36
That's right. It's a necessity of life. And if you're listening to this podcast, chances are that we need you on you people on our side.
00:02:44
Yes. And don't get convinced by all the early voting video that you keep seeing on social media.
00:02:52
and on the news, making it think like, oh, everyone's going to take care of it for me.
00:02:56
And I can just kind of sail through this. Yeah. It's a show up time. It's put up and shut up time for this country.
00:03:04
It is. And I mean, even if you live in, let's say, like a totally blue state, it's still really
00:03:08
important to exercise your civic fucking duty and your responsibility as a goddamn American
00:03:14
citizen. Well, and also it seems like we really need to make sure that things happen so that like,
00:03:19
say for example they don't make being transgender illegal right like it's things like that you have
00:03:24
to think about other people and you have to think about instead of making an excuse of why not to do
00:03:29
something realize why you need to do it or like if you live in a red state and you're you're blue
00:03:34
think of like you can just get those percentages up a little get those fucking that a little closer
00:03:40
have your voice be heard exactly it's important it's really important please do it um do you want
00:03:45
me to start sure i'm holding my paper up so i get to start all right so this is uh we're reading you
00:03:51
some um home towns from atlanta and austin which is where we will be visiting this weekend that's
00:03:56
right the last last weekend of our fall tour which is mind-boggling so crazy it's been such a fun
00:04:02
tour thank you to all the cities in the beginning i was really good about after we would do shows
00:04:07
doing a fun retweet and a thank you by the end i'm like i can't remember what city we were in so
00:04:12
tired so the last so last couple rounds the norcal rounds of portland seattle vancouver and san
00:04:18
francisco oakland and sacramento that's right i don't think anybody except for the sacramento
00:04:22
pole holes specialty i don't think anybody got a special oh yeah tweet we love you but we really
00:04:27
do we've had we've been having the best time that's right thank you and la of course oh and
00:04:32
of course la and halloween all right the subject line of this email is we haven't done a live show
00:04:38
in a while no a real show you mean yeah like a like a real me and steve in the in the pod loft
00:04:44
show no it's been a while it's quiet yeah and it's small i don't have any makeup on thank god
00:04:49
um i don't have any scrubs on okay so the subject line is aunt's story uh hi y'all spelled aunt like
00:04:57
your uncle's wife got it this one takes place in tyler texas a sweet innocent little town in east
00:05:02
texas where my mom grew up for part of her life when my mom was a few years old in our late in
00:05:08
the late 50s her older sister my aunt who was around 12 at the time was left to babysit my mom
00:05:13
and her other young siblings while their parents went out on a date the 50s am i right they didn't
00:05:19
have central air so it was common practice in that time to leave the windows open around the
00:05:24
house to create a nice cross breeze of course while leaving the screens in to keep the bugs out
00:05:29
like a normal ideal world how windows work um while the kids are playing my aunt hears the phone
00:05:37
ring and answers and an older man very politely asks hi sweetie is your dad home and my aunt
00:05:41
responds no he's out with my mom right now no no he hangs up that's all he needed to hear that's
00:05:46
right not long after this phone call my aunt is sitting in the living room waiting for my
00:05:50
grandparents to come home when she hears something coming from the window nearby not unusual as there were lots of animals around she glances up to see what little critters making the commotion and instead she sees a large man standing outside the window He holding a knife Oh my god
00:06:05
My aunt froze. He lifts the knife gingerly to the screen and pierces through it,
00:06:10
preparing to make a long slit to climb through. Holy shit. He's grinning. My aunt screams.
00:06:17
Suddenly, he's fully illuminated from behind by a blinding light. My grandparents were pulling up the driveway.
00:06:22
Oh my god. The man quickly conceals the knife and whirls around. My grandfather steps out and immediately confronts the man who claims to be lost.
00:06:29
A policeman controlling the area approaches to see what the situation is. Oh, this guy's having a real bad day.
00:06:34
The man says, oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was Dr. McDonald's house. The officer believed him.
00:06:40
And chuckling at what he thinks is a quirky mistake, quickly points him to the correct house down the street.
00:06:45
No, no. The man cheerily thanks the officer and walks away toward the other family's home.
00:06:50
No questioning, no search. They just let him walk away. Great. It wasn't until my grandparents spoke to my aunt and saw the cut screen that they understood
00:06:58
what actually happened. They never caught the guy. Anyway, stay sexy and close your fucking windows.
00:07:04
Can't wait to see all in Austin soon. Best, Meredith. Yep. The smiling part. Smiling.
00:07:11
Smiling. Smiling at the little 12-year-old girl inside the house. That I just called and asked if your family was home.
00:07:17
Oh, Jesus. That's why no one answers the phone anymore. That's right. No one can be trusted.
00:07:21
Nobody. Okay, this one's called People Tell Their Pastors Everything. Hey team, long time listener, first time caller.
00:07:31
I'm a pastor in Atlanta and recently I went to lunch with a member of my congregation.
00:07:35
He's the sweetest older man who is super smart and always tells the best stories.
00:07:39
So we're driving back to the church and we start talking about the criminal justice system.
00:07:43
Jay is a lawyer by trade, which makes conversations like this super interesting.
00:07:48
Somehow we got on the topic of big criminal cases in the city. Obviously, being a murderino and a true crime junkie, I can't help myself.
00:07:55
So I asked Jay what he remembers about the Atlanta child murders. Oh, shit. He talks about how terrified the city was and how now people aren't so sure about Wayne Williams' involvement.
00:08:04
He's going on and on about fiber evidence and the kind of, and I kind of start to zone out when suddenly he says, you know, my daughter was kidnapped during the height of this.
00:08:13
It was so casual. Like he was commenting on the weather. and I'm thinking dear god what have I just stumbled into he proceeds to tell me that in 1980 his seven
00:08:22
year old daughter was walking home from school one afternoon when a man drove up alongside her
00:08:26
pulled her into his car and drove her out of the neighborhood apparently this little girl was a
00:08:31
badass though and she wasn't having any of this shit she starts asking him who he is and where
00:08:36
they're going over and over again and when the man doesn't answer she starts screaming and kicking
00:08:40
at the passenger window yes fully losing her shit and fighting back the kidnapper gets so frustrated
00:08:46
with her that he pulls over and shoves her out of the car into piedmont park seven year seven
00:08:52
year old badass marches up to the first adult she finds in the park and gives them her name in the
00:08:55
name of her parents and then informs them that she was kidnapped police are called and within the
00:09:00
hour she's returned to her parents the would-be kidnapper was picked up a few days later arrested
00:09:04
and convicted shit jay's daughter is alive and well with a family of her own because she's a
00:09:09
freaking rock star and even at seven knew how to ssdgm yes i could go on and on about jay and his
00:09:14
freaking amazing stories like how his brother was the defense attorney for richard jeweler
00:09:19
the security guard initially accused of the atlanta child atlanta olympic bombings richard
00:09:24
jewel jewel thank you yeah not jeweler that was what he did by trade excuse me or any of my other weird and wonderful church members like the rare book collector who owns
00:09:38
a bible that belonged to a woman who was executed for witchcraft in salem yes we affectionately call
00:09:44
it the witch bible yes my church is a dope collection of smart loving fascinating kick-ass
00:09:49
humans needless to say i love being their pastor thank you so much for all the stuff you do you
00:09:55
know you're awesome nobody likes a kiss ass anyway can't wait to see you in atlanta in november
00:10:00
blessings and peace e that's so awesome so nice thank you i am surprised by having a pastor um
00:10:08
listener i am too thank you for tolerating thank you for being the middle man between me and jesus
00:10:16
um i don't even know what i'm saying okay the subject of this one is the death of the lemur man
00:10:22
dear sexy crew my best friend growing up lived on a picturesque horse farm where we spent many
00:10:28
hours traipsing around in dress up probably riding horses and pretending we were elves and lord of
00:10:33
the rings or whatevs. Anyways, their next door farm neighbors were hella weird. So naturally,
00:10:39
we were always trying to spy on them like the nosy kids we were. We were mostly interested
00:10:44
in them because they had lemurs and llamas and a bunch of other weird animals. We never saw
00:10:49
anything that interesting, but we loved gossiping about how weird they were. Last year, my mom
00:10:54
casually mentioned that she'd recently caught up with my friend's mom. And she mentioned that their
00:10:59
next-door neighbor had died in a weird choking accident. His wife was devastated and had sold
00:11:04
the farm. My friend's mom didn't think anything of it until she saw this on the news. A year later,
00:11:09
this lady married to the lemur man had moved to California, married a man high up in the Google
00:11:15
Corporation, and he too had mysteriously died in a choking accident. However, this guy had cameras
00:11:22
all over his house, and even though she pled innocent and acted horrified, the camera caught
00:11:26
her giving her husband a drink and then casually cleaning her nails and swinging her feet while
00:11:31
watching her husband choke to death on the poison she put in the drink what it turns out this girl
00:11:37
had grown up in a wealthy family in atlanta but had a fun little hobby of killing off boyfriends
00:11:42
and husbands and as soon as she got them to put her in their wills holy shit i think this was
00:11:49
maybe her fourth or fifth man that she had killed stay sexy and maybe don own a lemur from farm in Georgia Lexa Oh my God The image of watching a video where the woman is just doing her fucking nails Yes While he chokes to death
00:12:05
And then can you imagine choking and your loved one is doing nothing? And you're like, oh no.
00:12:09
That's when you realize as you're on your way out. Yeah. You're like, shoot. Shoot.
00:12:14
That's why I had that weird vibe around her. That's why she begged me about the will.
00:12:19
Oh, that's awful. Okay. This one's called Stay Sexy and Always Keep a Can of Peas in Your Purse.
00:12:26
Hiya, lovely humans and furry friends. Let's jump the fuck in. On a recent trip home to see my sweet baby angel mom, I asked her to pull out all of the photos she could find with the purpose of spending an afternoon drinking beer and reminiscing on her childhood and my own.
00:12:41
I highly suggest everyone who can does this because it was a lovely trip to memory lane and I learned so much about my mom and her youth,
00:12:48
including that her friends that her and her friends really like to moon and flip the bird to the camera
00:12:54
in their 30s. My hero with a beer in her hand and her friends bare ass by her side. I guess you're getting into
00:13:00
mooning the camera in your 30s but it's kind of amazing. Ignite your 20s. Once you start a family
00:13:05
and then you just need to blow off some steam. It's time. Anyways, while going through her old photos I would every now and then
00:13:12
ask who's this whenever I didn't recognize a friend or a family member with her.
00:13:15
on one of those questions she surprised me when her voice dropped and she said that this bright beautiful woman was her cousin marilyn who was murdered by an ex-fiance
00:13:24
like oh didn't i tell you no mom you didn't in all caps apparently marilyn was one of her
00:13:30
closest friends my mom was prepared to be her bridesmaid puffy pink dress and all in her
00:13:35
upcoming wedding to a jobless jealous loser while marilyn got hip to his bs and broke off
00:13:40
the engagement after which he stalked her for several weeks before tragically stabbing her to
00:13:44
death in a dark alleyway. Oh my God. Don't worry. They caught the monster and he's still rotting away in jail or maybe he's dead.
00:13:50
Who even cares? It was pretty incredible to talk to my mom about her experience losing a close friend
00:13:55
and family member in such a horrific way and made me admire her strength even more.
00:13:59
One thing that sticks out to me in the story is that my mom vividly remembers Marilyn's
00:14:02
mother never recovering from the loss of her daughter and eventually becoming a homeless
00:14:06
wanderer for the rest of her days. I know who always kept a can of peas in her purse for whenever she was hungry.
00:14:12
she had offered those peas to my mother on many occasions anyways i really do love and appreciate
00:14:18
you two fantastic humans your podcast got me through two months the two-month process of
00:14:22
least training my very stubborn hound dog with minimal frustration crying i'm so excited to see
00:14:29
you in austin in november with my mom stay sexy and don't forget to keep a can of peas in your
00:14:33
purse just in case sam oh that's sad yeah all right um here's my last one the subject line is
00:14:41
My arsonist cousin plays Jesus in the MFing Christmas play. Hello, all. We all have creepy cousin.
00:14:48
Mine just happens to be an arsonist. Jesus. We're right in it. Growing up, my mom always said that she had a bad feeling about my cousin.
00:14:56
He was my only cousin on that side of the family that was my age, so we went to the same youth group.
00:15:01
We all knew never to hang out with him one-on-one, and we avoided his church hugs like the gosh-damn plague.
00:15:07
In December 2017, he played Jesus in the Christmas play, So my parents and all my aunts and uncles thought maybe he'd turn out okay.
00:15:15
Holy shit, were they dead ass wrong. He always loved attention, so naturally he was stoked out of his mind to play Jesus in the Christmas play.
00:15:24
The following February, he was on the news in a neighboring county because he was a witness to a series of four fires in a trailer park.
00:15:31
He comes on the news and says, I just hope that whoever this person is, either you turn yourself in or they find the person.
00:15:37
And then he proceeds to show the news people how he kicks in the door of one of the burning trailers after calling 911.
00:15:43
Oh, my God. I'm assuming all the attention from playing Jesus went to his head. The very next day, police tracked the fires back to the motherfucker.
00:15:53
Jesus. Motherfucker. And one of them was a trailer that belongs to another one of our cousins.
00:15:58
Yes, he set the fires for the sole purpose of pretending to help put them out and getting a news interview on the news station that cannot have more than 600 viewers.
00:16:09
Needless to say, the people at church went crazy when they found out that he had played Jesus in the Christmas play.
00:16:15
A deacon literally thanked the Lord our church didn't get set on fire during a Sunday morning prayer.
00:16:20
Now he's facing 20 years in prison, much like many other members of my family. God bless the South and plane tickets out of Atlanta that have taken me far away after graduating from high school.
00:16:33
Oh, my God. Wow. Thanks for making every car ride fun and less anxiety ridden than before.
00:16:38
My best friend Olivia and I love you guys and dream of seeing you live all the time.
00:16:42
Stay sexy and don't play Jesus in a Christmas play if you plan on setting a trailer park on fire.
00:16:47
Annie. That was amazing. Yeah. Should I do one more? Yeah. Okay. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile.
00:16:55
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00:17:01
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00:17:08
Okay, one judgment. Anyway, give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. Upfront payment of $45 for three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required.
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00:17:22
Hello, hello. This is Malcolm Glaubel from Smart Talks with IBM. Today we're diving into a fascinating conversation with Stefano Pallard,
00:17:34
head of fan development for Scuderia Ferrari HP. Your pronunciation is strongly American. It's more Scuderia Ferrari.
00:17:42
I'm still working on rolling my R's. But what I was able to learn from Stefano was the importance of engaging the Tifosi,
00:17:49
the Ferrari superfans in the digital age. Ferrari fans and super fans want to be part of something want to belong to something So they want to be part of a community and ultimately they want to be part of a winning team You got Ferrari which has a long history
00:18:08
design history, and now you're interacting in a kind of digital space. I'm curious how you balance those two traditions.
00:18:17
When it comes to fan engagement, it's really digital technology and digital channels
00:18:22
are being able to create a deeper connection with our fans. To learn more about how Ferrari and IBM are using technology to build deeper
00:18:29
connections with fans, visit ibm.com slash Ferrari. Hello, beautiful. I'm Amy Eric, founder of Madison
00:18:40
Reed, a hair color company I named after my daughter. Forget everything you know about hair
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color, the mess, the smell, the hassle, the damage. We're female founded and female led.
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00:19:03
at Madison Reed a sex shop, an office, and a sad day at work funny found in wall story
00:19:14
hi all in pod loft I'm so excited because my life is so goddamn boring but I finally have a reason to email.
00:19:22
So, okay, I was at Dragon Con this year. Okay. Had a great time. You guys should go.
00:19:27
All right. And I got to this great conversation with a couple of people at the bar.
00:19:31
This guy launches into the story about the strangest thing he has found in a wall
00:19:34
while working at this building in Atlanta. All I'm thinking is, fuck yeah, I will steal this and send it straight to Karen in Georgia.
00:19:41
Don't worry, I didn't steal. I told him I was going to email this. So he explains that he was working in this building
00:19:45
and his boss says, we have to make a hole in this wall to run a line. or something along those lines.
00:19:51
Whatever the fuck people do in offices. When he makes the initial hole, the best fucking thing fell out.
00:19:56
And then dot, dot, dot. A goddamn giant dildo. Shocked and honestly not sure what to do next,
00:20:03
he asks his boss about it, and the boss explains. The office used to be owned by a sex shop
00:20:08
that I think did films. Not sure. Not important. Anyway, they end up losing the space
00:20:13
and just left a bunch of shit, both accidental and on purpose. Somehow, and no one quite knows why,
00:20:18
this dildo ended up in the wall, where a hole was made. But don't worry, it gets better.
00:20:24
This man had to spend his work days for the next two weeks removing tons of fucking dildos out of the wall.
00:20:30
What? I guess someone decided, fuck it, and just made a hole and threw them in there.
00:20:35
He couldn't remember how many he took out, but it was like the strangest thing he has ever found in a wall.
00:20:40
I don't remember the building. He told me, but I was a few Jack and Gingers in. Well, I hope you guys got a chuckle out of that.
00:20:46
Stay sexy, and maybe just keep your dildos in your nightstand drawer, Danielle. I mean, maybe someone was like a disgruntled worker and they were just like, fuck you.
00:20:56
I'm not fucking, I'm not going to shelve these dildos. Cause you're, you know, when you work in retail, you know, you have to put stuff out.
00:21:03
Yeah. So you're saying like, you just don't feel like working anymore. So if you pretend that the stock doesn't exist, you don't have to put it out.
00:21:09
Yes. Cause I was thinking maybe they were old testers. Oh. They were just like, oh, we're not going to put them in the dishwasher.
00:21:15
Just put them in the wall. Dishwasher. Do people clean their, okay. no haven't you ever seen that at like yeah yeah yeah those like sex parties dishwasher safe just
00:21:25
like what's less sexy and also more like could you imagine if someone's like oh i'm gonna get a cup
00:21:30
yeah my tea and they're like no good yeah but also dishwashers can't be 99 percent effective
00:21:36
right like you've got to have a little bit of salmonella left on that what if you get like
00:21:39
what if your vagina falls off because you get salmonella poisoning because you watch for any
00:21:43
other reason for any reason let's start fearing the worst that your vagina like it's a like it's
00:21:49
a stereo face from the 90s that you can remove that it just will drop off of your right like
00:21:55
your lego piece because the lego piece vagina and it just oh no it's not like it falls off and then
00:22:02
you step on it it's your foot so bad how embarrassing and then you're like do you want
00:22:06
some tea and then you open your dishwasher and there's all your dildos in there my private
00:22:11
things that I put in the dishwasher. Terrible. Send just your stories to my favorite murder at Gmail.
00:22:17
Don't forget to vote. Don't forget to buy your tickets on the fan cult like we told you. And don't forget to stay
00:22:23
sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis. Mimi? It's your big chance, Mimi. Mimi, you want a cookie?
00:22:32
Did that work? Oh, good girl. The tiniest. The tiny meow. Hey everyone, it's Kel Penn.
00:22:40
I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club.
00:22:48
Every episode, I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible.
00:22:55
It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:23:05
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00:23:51
Big transfer news today. Who's moving? Me. To the couch. With Domino's best deal ever since they just added Stuffed Crust.
00:23:58
Any pizza, any toppings. with stuffed crust for $9.99. It's a long-term contract with no release clause.
00:24:04
Only $9.99? Yeah, that sounds like the move. I'm heading straight to Dom. Mmm, no.
00:24:11
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