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MFM Minisode 98

November 26, 2018 /

This episode of My Favorite Murder features discussions about various listener stories, including a clown attack during a soccer game, a haunted cruise ship room, and a great-grandmother who castrated a man.

One listener recounts a clown attack that occurred during a soccer game, where a teammate dressed as a clown terrified parents with a fake axe. This prank led to police involvement and a fine for the perpetrator.

Another story involves a listener who discovered that the cruise ship room they booked was the site of a previous murder. After researching, they managed to switch rooms with the help of a co-worker.

A particularly shocking tale comes from a listener's great-grandmother, who took justice into her own hands by castrating a man who assaulted a neighbor's daughter. This story highlights themes of vigilante justice.

The episode wraps up with hosts Georgia and Karen discussing their excitement about launching a new podcast network called Exactly Right, aimed at true crime fans.

TLDR

Listeners share wild stories of a clown attack, a haunted cruise room, and a vigilante great-grandmother.

Episode

23:34
00:00:00
This is exactly right. Isn't some far off concept? It's already here. Next starts now.
00:00:33
Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. When a charming neurosurgeon rode into Frontier Town
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selling a persona of confidence and care, patients trusted him. He wore cowboy boots in the operating room
00:00:45
and became sought after by patients. He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies.
00:00:51
This is a story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice. Listen to Dr. Death the Cowboy wherever you get your podcasts
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or binge the entire series right now only with Audible. Goodbye. Where does summer take you?
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00:01:26
At the end of this show, We've got an exciting announcement to tell you about, so please stay tuned and listen to it.
00:01:33
It's for you. Goodbye. Hello. And welcome to My Favorite Murder. The Minisode. It is the Monday after Thanksgiving weekend.
00:01:59
That's right. You're having to go back to fucking work. Sorry. Christmas stuff is in full effect.
00:02:05
Ding, ding, ding. Ding, ding, ding. Ding, ding, ding. Ding, ding. Ding, ding, ding.
00:02:11
Ding, ding, ding. That's the one I like the best. Yeah. Also, it's a marshmallow world in the ding, ding.
00:02:25
Yeah. that one no are those really the words no it's a marshmallow word and the ding ding no no that's
00:02:31
it's a johnny mathis club and that one and don't forget to hang up your sock what yeah well my
00:02:40
favorite hanukkah song oh i see no i don't have one is ding ding ding ding ding ding ring ring
00:02:47
of the rain. Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, dreidel. Jesus, Mary and Joseph. What a family.
00:02:56
What a group. Aren't they fun? They didn't exist. We don't know who they are. We're not going to talk about them.
00:03:01
We won't acknowledge it. We're only Old Testament. Merry, merry, merry, merry. Hanukkah.
00:03:07
Hanukkah. Oh, wait. Okay. I mean, should we just do a quick plug for our new Christmas sweater?
00:03:14
that's a Hanukkah sweater that's Georgia designed and the slogan on it is L'Chaim Bitches.
00:03:21
It's actually L'Chaim Bitches. Oh, L'Chaim Bitches. L'Chaim Bitches. That's right.
00:03:27
We were making all this Christmas merch. Or holiday. No, it's Christmas. It's straight up Christmas.
00:03:33
So I was like, hey, look, a great big seller or anything, I know it's not going to be
00:03:37
but can we get a Hanukkah shirt just so I don't feel like a complete fraud? Because like, come on.
00:03:43
And then I'm like, yeah of course and then she goes what if it says l'chaim bitches i mean l'chaim l'chaim bitches
00:03:50
and then i couldn't stop laughing i thought you were gonna say no but i'm glad you did it
00:03:54
i support your judaism thank you and it's very light there's not much to support yeah that's
00:04:00
kind of why you don't shove it down my throat you don't uh you don't fast that much thank you know
00:04:08
Thank you. The way Jews are doing all the time. No, no. Oh, no, I'll have none. I'm here for the food.
00:04:15
Yeah. You rarely say, does this ever have milk or bacon on it? Which I really appreciate.
00:04:22
Because it's been such a problem for me. I said, put milk and bacon on it. Now. Oh, my God.
00:04:26
Please. Okay. You go first. I'm going to go first. The subject line is clown attack during a soccer game.
00:04:35
Hi, Georgia, Karen, Stephen, and furry friends. and then a wink smiley face with one, two, three, four, five mouths.
00:04:43
Okay. Which I don't, I don't know. Teens. I don't know what you're doing. Teens these days.
00:04:48
Teens, stop wasting your time with all these parentheses and get to this story. So while I was in middle school, I was on a varsity soccer team in 2016.
00:04:57
Let's see. That means that you are in high school now. I was right. Oh my God. Is that what you were thinking in your head?
00:05:07
Well, I said teens. teens these days oh how did i know that right holy shit i thought it was a good slam but it
00:05:14
just turned out you were just very accurately figuring out who was talking to us that october
00:05:19
was when the clown attacks started happening while heading to the soccer game my friend was
00:05:24
telling me about her clown attack that happened while she was home alone but that's a story for
00:05:29
another no it's not teen this teen is talking to us like fucking alistair cook teen doesn't know
00:05:37
how to write a story. Introducing Masterpiece Theater. But that's a story for another day.
00:05:42
Dun-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Tell it now, we want to hear it. While warming up, my friends and I were joking
00:05:50
about a clown coming out of the woods. Probably the scariest woods. Don fight me on that Oh the birch woods sorry That true Okay If I wrong Stephen would you look it up i believe birch trees are the ones that are skinny and white and they have uh leaves that turn yellow
00:06:07
and so i think this person is exactly right that the birch woods are the scariest woods
00:06:13
steven's nodding there we go let me see let me see oh and they have like the like dark marks on
00:06:20
them and stuff. Yes. That's beautiful. What are you talking about? Aren't those pretty? We had
00:06:25
birch trees in our front yard when I was growing up. They're my favorite. Those are gorgeous. Also,
00:06:28
I want all of these paintings, Stephen. Let's read Stephen's email since he handed you his phone.
00:06:33
Stephen got a text that said sex this and sex that. Teens. Teens these days. And they're sexting.
00:06:40
Stephen, quit sexting. Stop it, Stephen, you teen. Okay. Birchwoods. We've all agreed. You're
00:06:47
Right, the scariest. Okay, and kick. So they're talking about, joking about a clown coming out of the birch woods,
00:06:54
and they're kicking a soccer ball into the other goal. We started playing, and at the end of the first half,
00:07:00
a clown comes out of the woods with an axe and starts running and terrorizing parents.
00:07:05
What the fuck? And then this is in all caps. We played for a whole three minutes after the clown comes out of the woods.
00:07:12
What? when we stopped playing my dad called me over and we ran to my car and called the police
00:07:18
what the shit after a few minutes we didn't see any sign of a clown next thing i knew the clown
00:07:24
was banging on my car window my dad got out of the car and started fighting the clown no dad
00:07:29
if you're wondering about the axe it turned out to be fake and my dad wrestled the clown to the
00:07:33
ground pulled off his mask he didn't write this but i was gonna say scooby-doo style totally uh
00:07:40
it turns out it was the man that owned the fairgrounds. No, I'm just kidding. That's what that's from Scooby do.
00:07:45
It turns out that the quote unquote clown was a boy on the soccer team, a grade above me and had brought the clown costume on the bus.
00:07:54
What a little shit teens. That's a fucking genius. The clown was coming from within the house.
00:08:03
The kid got a $300 fine and his parents were hella pissed off. Oh my God. That's my story of a clown attack, SSD GM, Addy.
00:08:11
What a little shithead. God damn it. Teens. That's the funniest fucking thing of all time.
00:08:15
I'm never having a teen. Yeah. Teens. Teens. Look, they're going to change the world with their clown hatchets.
00:08:21
That's what a little fucking brat, though. What a bratty shit. But then also, I love his in the spirit of just kind of breaking up the intensity of a junior high soccer game.
00:08:32
Where he's like, how about none of you? You all relax about this. chase parents with a fake weapon he did it you can't do that no one told him that he couldn't
00:08:42
and he believed he could fly he believed he could touch the sky no okay i'm not gonna tell you the
00:08:48
name of this one hi ladies and steven so it's just starts so period in 2012 my friend josh and
00:08:54
i booked a cruise as our first adult vacation we booked an inside room just like the cheapest
00:09:00
option which was the cruise line picking your actual cabin because we were both 21 and could
00:09:04
barely afford that so it was may and around july uh i saw they had assigned us a room being a
00:09:11
millennial i imagined i immediately googled the ship and room number only to find out that all
00:09:18
caps a man had strangled his wife to death in that room a few years prior shit i think he had
00:09:24
been drinking all day when the ship was docked and then got into an argument and strangled her
00:09:28
to death in the bathroom lady i find this out freak because i'm both a marine a murderino and
00:09:34
super paranoid and call the cruise line to try to get them to switch the room the woman is like
00:09:39
where did you hear about this no one here knows anything about it and i was like google it
00:09:43
and they still wouldn't change it i had to have a co-worker call and pretend to be me for two hours
00:09:49
to get that room assignment changed so it all worked out in the end i just kept thinking about
00:09:55
that awful movie Ghost Ship and was not about to be in the sequel. Ghost Ship. Anyway, stay sexy and always Google everything, Christine.
00:10:03
You are dead on right, Christine. Oh my God, that's so sad. I mean, here's the funny part too.
00:10:11
Because it was about a cruise ship, there were so many things that that email could
00:10:15
have been about. I know. Fuck cruise ships, man. I mean, it's rough. And my family are cruise people.
00:10:23
Are they? Well, you know, that's how my parents met. That's right. We were working on princess cruises together.
00:10:28
Right. And we went on a cruise for my mom's 60th birthday, which was lovely because it was to Alaska.
00:10:37
So it's like good visuals. Good visuals. The visuals were excellent. If you're not getting pulled into, you know, somewhere where you never come back out of it.
00:10:47
Right. Then you could just get be at sea and like have the ship go down. which is there was a couple nights where that it was very strong um waves choppy and shit or you
00:10:57
get fucking like food poisoning or like so many things just just you could just get disappeared
00:11:03
okay i'm not going to redo the subject line of this because it ruins it okay hello love love
00:11:09
love your podcast i'm in sales and i have a lot of drive time and your show constantly makes me
00:11:14
laugh until i cry thank you the ultimate compliment i used to competitively ski freestyle aerials
00:11:20
wow well well my goodness is this sunshine peekaboo street what's her name trying to skip to the end um really we're checking
00:11:32
oh it is sunshine peekaboo street ssdgn sunshine peekaboo street i'm clearly a huge fan of skiing
00:11:44
people often refer to it as that flipping shit on skis every year we the u.s ski team wow wow
00:11:52
used to travel to fortress mountain canada for pre training it always seemed like the perfect place for a murder Middle of nowhere sketchy lodge but beautiful hotel called uh the Canana Skis
00:12:06
Say that five times fast, she says in her email. I'm not even sure if it is a mountain anymore,
00:12:11
but I did hear it was bought and getting a makeover. Okay. Is she trying to get us to go there?
00:12:18
Yeah. Clearly, we're going to go to your goddamn mountain fortress now. I like the idea that she's saying I'm not even sure if it's a mountain anymore.
00:12:26
What is happening? If there's no hotel on it, that does that mean it's no longer a mountain?
00:12:31
That's like a Zen Con. Anyway, to give you a brief 101 on our sport. No, what is this?
00:12:37
She wrote to the wrong podcast. I'm going to forward this to a sports podcast. You have to chop our landing hill with shovels in order to soften the landing,
00:12:46
as opposed to landing on a firm, compacted hill. Anyway, I remember being so excited to be at my first U.S. ski team camp that I got dressed super fast in the lodge, ski boots and all, and headed to the hill to help the volunteers chopping the hill.
00:12:59
So I get there and grab a shovel and start chopping. I noticed there are some guys using huge pickaxes.
00:13:05
Weird, but I just thought that that was their preference. As I'm chopping the hill and nearing the top and almost done, my coach peeks around from one of our jumps.
00:13:13
She says in parentheses, it says, Glogel Freestyle Aerials. which could mean so many different things um he started laughing and said my name and i went to
00:13:23
him i thought i was going to get praise for showing up early and helping prepare our hill
00:13:27
all he could do was laugh and shake his head i was only 13 so my mom traveled to canada with me
00:13:33
and she was sitting in the lodge and he said let's go find your mom he's saying this through the
00:13:38
laughs so we head back to the lodge which looks like the lodge in hot tub time machine when the
00:13:43
guys return there as adults. It's not a reference point that you can just throw out there like we
00:13:48
all memorize that movie. Teens. Teens. When my mom and my coach, when we find my mom, my coach says,
00:13:56
so Katie cannot be on the hill anymore in the morning until I come back to the lodge and give
00:14:01
her the clear to come up. He's not mad, but still laughing and smiling. I wasn't really sure what
00:14:07
else I heard, but my mom's mouth dropped and then she put her hand over her mouth and laughed. I'm
00:14:13
super confused and then they turned to me and my coach says do you know what convicts are sure i
00:14:19
said well it turns out at the mountain it was okay to have convicts from the nearby prison
00:14:24
quote-unquote volunteer to chop the hill with pickaxes and shovels so we didn't have to
00:14:30
i was also so i was also so excited to be up there helping i hadn't even noticed that all
00:14:35
the convex were chain linked together much love kate oh my god teens teens loving skiing
00:14:45
scenes loving convex that's insane that's so funny now i know all about skiing aerial skiing
00:14:56
is like flipping shit on skis google it google it because it's amazing google it google it
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00:17:14
Hey guys, getting straight to the story. So I was talking to my mom over dinner and she was telling me about how badass my grandpa's mom was.
00:17:22
Then she told me the best story I've ever heard and I knew that y'all needed to know.
00:17:26
So my great grandma lived in a super small town in the panhandle of Texas. At the time of the story, my great grandma was already a mom to three kids.
00:17:34
The town was so small that everyone knew everyone. My great grandma was especially close with all her neighbors, neighbors who were most likely a mile away.
00:17:41
One day she got word that her neighbor's daughter was sexually assaulted by a man in town.
00:17:47
And my great grandma was furious. They found out who the man was and somehow lured him to their house.
00:17:52
most likely with the promise of sex. When he got there my great hauled his house out to the backyard and all caps castrated him Holy fuck
00:18:06
Straight up cut his balls off. The man was too scared to tell anyone what happened.
00:18:11
And my great grandma was never punished. And the neighbor's daughter was never messed with again.
00:18:15
My great grandma was honestly the close human being and regularly carried around a hatchet.
00:18:20
once even shot the bag out of a man's hand who was coming to rob her wow i never met her but i
00:18:27
know for a fact she would have been a murderino um thank y'all so much thank y'all she's from
00:18:32
texas thank you thank y'all so much for an amazing podcast that keeps me entertained during my
00:18:36
internship at a probation office stay sexy and don't mess with texas grandmas much love from
00:18:42
dallas texas victoria no and the title was my great grandma castrated a man jesus
00:18:48
fucking christ seriously i here's the thing we're just gonna go on good faith that that guy was the
00:18:57
guy that did the right guy please for fuck's sake let's just pretend that everything went
00:19:03
right in this story this was an act of true justice uh-huh um it was an act of but but oh my god yeah
00:19:11
yeah oh my god either way someone got castrated i mean it's there's nothing we can do about that
00:19:17
now yeah and it's none of our responsibility no but this is a very old story the first thing i
00:19:22
think of is like the guy that that that like just that morning was like maybe i'm gonna start parting
00:19:27
my hair on the right and then that makes him look exactly like the guy that's the fucking hideous
00:19:33
town rapist but that's not what happened that's not what happened what happened instead was that
00:19:37
the hideous town rapist got his that's right by grandma whitey bulger likes it hot light-hearted
00:19:45
Okay. Hi, friends. I'm sure you've seen on the news that mass murderer James Whitey Bulger was murdered in jail.
00:19:53
It says here last week, but I bet that was a while ago. Well, this brought up a whole lot of emotions as I'm from Boston and many of the kids I grew up with had Whitey connections, cousins who sold for him, uncles who were killed by him, etc.
00:20:07
Yikes. Like how everyone has a hometown murder. Everyone I know has a Whitey story.
00:20:12
Wow. Wow. Here's mine. So in the 70s, my dad was thriving, doing some bank shit in Boston.
00:20:18
He owned a condo in, I want to say Quincy, Quincy. I know it's not like the former.
00:20:24
I know it's not like the former Prez. Oh, she's telling me to say Quincy instead of Quincy.
00:20:29
And customized the interior of it. A few other people had customized their condos.
00:20:34
So the foreman on the job asked my dad if he wanted to see the other places. For Lord knows what reason, my dad said yes.
00:20:41
The foreman takes him around and shows him the interiors. They pull up to no other than Whitey fucking Bulger's condo to give it a view.
00:20:50
It didn't seem like Whitey had moved in yet, but my dad says every wall had a heating panel on it where most homes just had one.
00:20:59
And the foreman told my dad that Whitey specifically requested this, even though it was a fire hazard, because after being in prison in Alcatraz, which I nearly call Azkaban every time I tell the story.
00:21:11
he never wanted to feel cold again so his condo was always kept pretty balmy my dad said whitey
00:21:19
was a good neighbor who kept to himself and would often smile and wave as they were shoveling their
00:21:23
porches my dad always waved back completely aware of who whitey was and what he was up to
00:21:27
thanks for everything you guys are so rad i could go on about mental health but you've heard it
00:21:32
before and i have nothing new to say come on it doesn't stop us yeah stay sexy and don't move to
00:21:39
boss and if you don't like the cold mare wow shit that's fucked up we gotta do waddy bulger
00:21:45
sometime i know but it's just hitman shit i know we're not it's not uh it's just i have one more
00:21:53
okay greetings to my ireland i just finished listening to episode 112 i'm slowly catching
00:21:57
up after starting with your first episode a few months back i know you're interested in stories
00:22:01
about people finding things in houses so i thought you'd get a kick out of this in my 20s i moved in
00:22:06
to the attic, attic, attic of an old house in Cork City, Ireland. Ah, Cork. You know who's from Cork?
00:22:18
Who? Karen? No, I can't remember the name. You? Oh, no. Say it again. No, my grandparents were from Longford and Galway.
00:22:27
Okay. Say Cork again. Ah, Cork. Killian Murphy's from Cork. Okay, perfect. uh it was sorry that was so dumb what i love it what am i supposed to say no no no i shouldn't
00:22:43
have said it see that cute one he's the beautiful one from peaky blinders oh yes okay um blah blah
00:22:50
blah oh it was directly across from a convent so near so near i could see the nuns heading from
00:22:56
their rooms to brekkie every morning i can only hope they didn't get to see any of the central
00:23:00
deeds I got up to in those days. Ooh. Sex sins. For a few nights in a row, I had a dream where I'd
00:23:07
been playing the accordion on the street when someone stole it from me. I always woke up panicked
00:23:12
and heartbroken. One day I decided to investigate the cupboard directly behind the bed I was
00:23:16
sleeping in. The cupboard went back a fair bit, and when I first moved in, I checked this cupboard,
00:23:21
but all I could see was dusty old tiles and nothing else. I never used it as my bed was
00:23:25
pushed up against it. But after these reoccurring dreams, I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed
00:23:29
to check this cupboard again. I couldn't believe it when right at the very back, I sprayed a very
00:23:34
dusty object and dusting it off. I found that it was an accordion. Oh, Irish psychic. And not just
00:23:40
an accordion, but the accordion in my dream. Yes, it was. It was so very, it was very old. So I never,
00:23:46
it never worked and started to fall apart to the touch. But when I left that house, I took the
00:23:50
accordion with me and I still have it to this day. I often wonder whether this accordion was stolen
00:23:54
for me in a past life only to find me again in this life. No. Why not? Thanks for being in my life and for all you do, Nicola.
00:24:06
No, I love that story. Dream story is cool. Tell us like maybe a new thing could be like weird dreams that have come true or like creepy dream dream shit.
00:24:17
Only if it's something that actually came true and there's a story to it. We do not want to hear your fucking dream.
00:24:24
No, no one does. And that's true. My friend Greg Barrett used to have a hilarious bit about this on stage, but and I didn't realize it until I watched him do it.
00:24:32
And I'm like, oh, I tell people my dreams all the time. It's so boring to everyone except you.
00:24:38
Yeah, because it's like if I were doing it right now, it's like, Georgia, guess what?
00:24:42
Last night I dreamed. And then you could just name a series of nouns and verbs. And you're and I'm like, oh, that was that really happened in real life.
00:24:49
No, it's a dream. No, it's a dream. OK, like the end. Don't do that. You'll piss Karen off.
00:24:55
I'm already mad, so good luck! Make it good. Make it good. It has to be like in my ghost story where I have a dream I wake up I wake my roommate up Yeah She on the couch She wakes up She upset I say did you just dream about a little girl with braids
00:25:14
And then she starts crying because she did. And she and I had the same dream. Yes.
00:25:18
That's just a teaser. If you want to hear the whole story, go listen to Slumber Party with Allie in Georgia because
00:25:24
I tell the entire story. That's right. That's right. That was a fun like that. Now I'm referencing your backlog.
00:25:30
Thank you. Sure. Thanks for the plug of the podcast I don't do anymore. I want to keep all that old shit alive.
00:25:38
Send us your stories. My favorite murder at Gmail. And thanks for listening. Yeah, we appreciate you.
00:25:44
We do. We think you're great. That's how good of a singer I am. Stay sexy. And don't get murdered.
00:26:00
Goodbye. Elvis. You want a cookie? Yeah. Does it work? Yeah. Hi. Hello. It Georgia and Karen and we are excited to tell you that we are launching our new podcast network Exactly Right Yes we very excited to tell you guys about it We chosen a bunch of shows specifically with murderinos in mind
00:26:26
and we can't wait for you guys to hear them. There's going to be more true crime.
00:26:30
There's going to be comedy. There's going to be cat stuff and more and a lot of very, very special hosts.
00:26:38
Very special hosts. And then at the end of this month, we are going to announce the details of the first slate of shows for Exactly Right.
00:26:48
Yeah, so stay tuned for that. And in the meantime, you can start following Exactly Right on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.
00:26:53
And please sign up for the newsletter at exactlyrightmedia.com. You guys, we're becoming podcasting moguls.
00:27:00
Join us. Oh, my God. It's exciting. We're so excited. Goodbye. Stay sexy. Don't get murdered.
00:27:05
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00:28:00
That's MFM15 for 15% off at hillhousehome.com. Goodbye. Summer is all about saying yes, going out and bringing the mess home in your car.
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00:28:35
Goodbye.

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

  • 80
    Most shocking
  • 70
    Most dramatic
  • 70
    Funniest
  • 70
    Most surprising

Episode Highlights

  • Dr. Death the Cowboy
    A charming neurosurgeon leaves a trail of broken bodies instead of healing.
    “He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies.”
    @ 00m 48s
    November 26, 2018
  • Clown Attack During Soccer Game
    A prank turns terrifying when a clown with an axe appears during a game.
    “A clown comes out of the woods with an axe and starts running and terrorizing parents.”
    @ 07m 00s
    November 26, 2018
  • My Great Grandma's Justice
    A fierce grandmother takes justice into her own hands against a rapist.
    “My great grandma was honestly the closest human being and regularly carried around a hatchet.”
    @ 18m 15s
    November 26, 2018
  • The Accordion Discovery
    A surprising find in a cupboard leads to a deep reflection on past lives.
    “I found that it was an accordion. Oh, Irish psychic.”
    @ 23m 34s
    November 26, 2018
  • Launching a New Podcast Network
    Excitement builds as the hosts announce their new venture into podcasting.
    “We're becoming podcasting moguls.”
    @ 27m 00s
    November 26, 2018

Episode Quotes

  • This is a story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice.
    MFM Minisode 98
  • What a little shithead.
    MFM Minisode 98
  • Oh my God, that's so sad.
    MFM Minisode 98
  • Holy fuck. Straight up cut his balls off.
    MFM Minisode 98
  • I found that it was an accordion. Oh, Irish psychic.
    MFM Minisode 98
  • Stay sexy. And don't get murdered.
    MFM Minisode 98

Key Moments

  • Summer Vibes01:08
  • Teens These Days04:46
  • Clown Attack07:00
  • Cruise Ship Horror09:18
  • Grandma's Revenge18:15
  • Accordion Revelation23:34
  • Podcast Network Launch27:00

Tension Over Time

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown