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00:01:38
Goodbye. Hello. Hi. And welcome. This is my favorite murder. This is the mini episode.
00:01:59
That's right. You can tell by the time is shorter. And the day. And what we talk about.
00:02:05
Also, we just said it. So you can tell by that. God, why don't you explain everything?
00:02:08
Look, we said it. Listen. At least one time. This is the mini episode. We read yours.
00:02:15
Do you want me to start? There'll be a test at the end. You're forced to say yes.
00:02:18
Because it's a leading question. What are you going to do? Fight me on it? Yes. Oh, is today the day?
00:02:25
Tank guy drove through my neighborhood. Dear Karen, Georgia, and friends, I was recently listening to your live show in San Diego,
00:02:34
and Karen mentioned that she had covered the tank dude that drove through Claremont in the previous night's show.
00:02:40
I have a hometown letter saved on my computer about that very incident, and I knew then I should have sent it in months ago
00:02:45
instead of sitting on it, thinking it just wasn't good enough. Don't sit on your stories.
00:02:50
Look, don't judge your own story. How would you know? We'll judge it for you. You're the giver, not the receiver.
00:02:55
you don't know. Anyway, my best friend and I, it literally says that anyway, my best friend and I
00:03:00
were 14 at the time and apparently totally clueless as to how much meth was in our neighborhood.
00:03:05
Looking back on it now, the guy who had cut his grass using a pair of scissors totally makes sense
00:03:09
to me. It was the day after school. And like always my best friend, Kim called me, but this
00:03:14
time it wasn't to talk shit about the kids we went to school with this time. It was because
00:03:17
a motherfucking tank had just driven down her cross street and was headed towards my house.
00:03:22
Oh, my God. Of course, I didn't believe a goddamn word she was telling me. So she told me to turn on the news.
00:03:28
We both saw that it was headed towards my house. And we begged and pleaded our parents to let us go watch it destroy our neighborhood.
00:03:34
Yeah. Our parents were, of course, totally against the idea. One of the few times my parents were actual parents.
00:03:39
So we had to watch the whole thing together on the phone while watching news. As you know, eventually the cops did get the tank to stop on the freeway and they shot and killed him right there inside the tank.
00:03:49
I remember the city of San Diego was collectively sad and angry about his demise.
00:03:54
And that night on the radio, the DJ at 91X dedicated the song I Fought the Law and the Law One by the Clash to the Tank Man.
00:04:01
Our neighborhood wasn't terribly destroyed, but he did run up onto some people's yards.
00:04:06
So for months afterwards, you could see tank tracks in the front lawns and crushed fences that he had run into.
00:04:11
Anyway, love your podcast. I live in Portland, Oregon now, and I work from home as an illustrator.
00:04:16
So I spend 99.5% of my time alone. but you kind of make it feel like I have some cool,
00:04:21
some of the coolest coworkers love Claire. Oh, Claire from Claremont. Claire from Claremont.
00:04:26
I feel like if it was a car chase, yeah, don't go out and watch it, but it's a tank.
00:04:29
It's, you can jump out of its way 10 minutes before it hits you. Georgia, you'd like to think that you would like to think.
00:04:35
Do I not know tanks? You don't know tank hypnosis, which is what happens to you when you jump out into the street.
00:04:42
It lasts a half an hour before the tank runs you over. You just keep staring at it going,
00:04:45
no, look away. It's a tank. It's just so cool. Uh, we'll have to post that episode or that live show on the fan cult.
00:04:52
Cause your story is incredible. That's a good, well, it's that story. Any, like you could get a computer, you know, on YouTube, you can make a video of a computer
00:05:01
talking. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You could just have a computer tell you that story and it would be the best story.
00:05:05
Give yourself more credit than that. You are better than a talking computer. The damage is so deep and so permanent.
00:05:13
So deep. Um, okay. Let's see. Let's go. Let's start heavy. I'm going to do, okay, this one's called Hometown and a Half.
00:05:21
Great. And it addresses us, dude. Nice. I love it. I want to tell you about a strange death in my hometown of Knoxville, Illinois.
00:05:30
It was far before my time, but I'd always heard about it growing up. This is the mummy house.
00:05:36
Oh. Carl Stevens was diagnosed with diabetes at age 10. He married Carol in 1966.
00:05:42
I'm guessing after he was 10. I would hope. Yeah. They had two kids, Cindy and Craig, and they obviously fucking loved the letter C.
00:05:50
In the 70s, they... Cindy's spelled with an S. What did I say Cindy Oh okay I not pronouncing it In the 70s they joined a holistic society or a cult call your dad and he attempted to treat his diabetes with diets and supplements
00:06:06
In 1979, he died of diabetic shock face down on his bedroom floor. Surprise, surprise.
00:06:13
His wife didn't believe he was dead, but that he was in a coma. His body turned black and swelled up as you do.
00:06:19
And after keeping his body on the floor for two months, she propped him up on a chair in
00:06:24
the basement well it gets worse i mean that's some serious denial yeah okay that's like i am
00:06:31
brainwashed yeah the family moved him to another bed and regularly changed his clothes and bedding
00:06:37
they also chatted with him as if he were still alive hey how's the rotting going stuff like that
00:06:45
small talk with a corpse and like i mean did he answer that's the question i want to know
00:06:49
like do they hear yeah yeah like how you talk to your cat you know and they respond to you okay
00:06:55
they told people he was sick so that's why he hadn't been seen in a while but then a family
00:06:59
member finally got into the house and found him they said his bright red hair made him easily
00:07:03
recognizable because otherwise he wasn't fucking recognizable his body was kept in the house
00:07:09
altogether for almost nine years what and a fellow cult member richard kunz moved in and
00:07:16
cared for the body as well during that whole time. Oh, okay. Cindy and Richard were both arrested and the kids placed into foster care.
00:07:22
I'm sure they were significantly fucked up at this point. Only Carl's mother attended his burial in Watauga, Illinois, another small ass town.
00:07:30
I posted about this case on Facebook and someone told me that the opposing teams used to chant
00:07:35
Knoxville mummies at sporting events. That's rude. That's mean. Teenagers know exactly what to say.
00:07:43
No bullying. We have a no bullying policy. The fighting mummies. That would actually be the best.
00:07:49
The fighting mummies. The best mascot. That's right. Then she writes, yikes. My brother's aunt also used to cut the Stevens family's hair and mine.
00:07:58
SSDGM, Jamie. That's insanity. Nine years. The smell alone. When does the smell stop?
00:08:06
I wonder. What are they called? You know, people in forensics and shit let us know when a body stops smelling.
00:08:13
scientists yeah you know or just a bird of fucking someone who's hanging out there's just so many
00:08:20
aspects of it where it's like also you know months later moving it yeah i getting other people i mean
00:08:27
the one thing and maybe this is just weird of me but when when you start talking about other people
00:08:32
that were kind of came in on it at least that whoever was doing it wasn't alone yeah there's
00:08:37
something at least there's like a kind of group like we all were in the same we all thought it
00:08:43
was normal i mean it sucks for the kids you know because like the kids it's unspeakably horrifying
00:08:47
i don't know if it was like more of the people from the holistic cult were in on it and acted
00:08:50
like that too and she just told people outside of it that he was sick but at least one other
00:08:55
adult yeah it was like yeah let's talk to fucking carl yes he's he's he's still here with us because
00:09:02
i believe in vitamins let's change his outfit he's been wearing that outfit i mean the funerals
00:09:07
that i've been to and that it's been a lot in our family like even if it's right after the death
00:09:12
the body looks weird. Yeah. It's not, it's disturbing from the get go. Yeah. So the idea that you're just going to put somebody in a chair and ignore it
00:09:23
all. And that's with makeup on that you see them. That's right. That's highly treated.
00:09:28
Not even, I mean, this was a body that still had all of its parts inside. Ooh, let's not.
00:09:34
Why are we talking about this stuff? Wait, I lost my note. What is wrong with us?
00:09:38
What's wrong with people who send this stuff to us? I feel like I would love to hear from a coroner or some type of person who would know about
00:09:46
what the experience of that would be. That'd be great. All right. This one, the subject line is almost home intrusion.
00:09:52
Always call the cops. Hey, y'all. About a month ago, my best friend calls me at around 1 a.m. and tells me someone's knocking
00:09:58
on her door. She says it was a weird type of knock, as if they were tapping the door knocker very
00:10:03
lightly. No. That is. Please bang on the door. The worst thing of all time. Tee, tee, tee.
00:10:10
Sidebar. Did we already talk about the guy that licked the doorbell for three hours?
00:10:14
We did not. Was it three hours? I just saw a screen grab and a caption and I was just like, no.
00:10:20
Yeah. I believe it was in LA, right? Same door ringer. It was like a doorbell or a door.
00:10:27
Yes. Something. Steven's going to get it. He's going to film the crucial details.
00:10:30
But from what I remember, it was a doorbell and he licked it for like three hours.
00:10:36
because they have it on one of those front door cameras and it's just a guy licking a thing.
00:10:43
If I ever get a video camera security system, I'm going to make Vince watch it because I don't
00:10:48
want to fucking see whatever comes on it. Just nightmares. So this is in the Sacramento Bee.
00:10:55
A security video shows a stranger approach the front door of a Salinas, California
00:10:58
home early Friday, then look directly into the camera before proceeding to lick the doorbell for hours.
00:11:04
He made eye contact. He did it on purpose. It was a ring doorbell camera. Not a sponsor.
00:11:12
Simply safe. That wouldn't happen with a simply safe. They don't say specific hours, but they just say four hours.
00:11:19
Four hours. I read that it was three, but who knows. Anyway, let's just put that in our back pocket
00:11:25
while we listen to this story. We're now to the weird light tapping front door. Horrifying.
00:11:31
she said she heard it first at 12 45 a.m. and immediately turned off her living room tv and
00:11:38
went to the kitchen where you couldn't see her from the front door because her door has windows
00:11:44
at the top she heard the knocking again at 1 a.m. so fucking 15 minutes later she was scared because
00:11:50
she wasn expecting company and whoever it was had stayed for 15 minutes outside her door she She tried to call her mom but she wouldn answer so she called me She wouldn answer She refused My immediate reaction was all caps What the fuck bitch Call the fucking cops She thought I was overreacting I tell her no you live alone
00:12:09
And someone could easily figure that out. Call the motherfucking cops. Still refusing. I texted
00:12:13
our other best friend and started a conference call. Then I put them on hold while I called the
00:12:18
cops. She was insistent that it wasn't necessary, but my favorite murder didn't raise no fool.
00:12:25
I called the Huntsville police and asked them to run a welfare check on my friend.
00:12:31
Wow, that's genius. Yeah. She had been hearing weird knocks on her front door and I wanted to make sure she was okay.
00:12:35
Within five minutes, the police were there and she felt more comfortable. We mostly forgot about the incident.
00:12:40
What? Well, it turns out I wasn't overreacting. Oh my God. Oh my God. There has been a guy breaking into women's homes and watching them while they sleep.
00:12:49
He had broken into some other girl's apartment eight days after the knocking at my friend's door
00:12:54
three doors down from her apartment. My guess is that this fucking creep was probably knocking lightly
00:13:00
to see if anyone was awake. And after this incident, I subscribed her to the show
00:13:05
and now she can stay sexy and call the motherfucking cops herself. Love y'all, Mel.
00:13:10
Mel, good work. Oh, no. Mel gets, you're a, what's it called when little kids get police badges, honorary?
00:13:18
You're an honorary member. You're the sheriff's assistant. Yeah. Hold, also, if you live in not,
00:13:24
a huge metropolitan city. Yeah. Um, I would imagine, especially if you're young,
00:13:29
uh, young, free single women in, in your town, call those cops. Cause there's going to be some young men with the,
00:13:37
with these dedication to service and skin, clean shave, right. And kind of like a fire in their eyes.
00:13:43
Like I'll fucking get that guy. And they're young enough to like, they joined for a reason and they still,
00:13:48
they're not old and like, I hate this now. No, they're like hot and young with a purpose.
00:13:51
They're still in the, like, hold your flashlight up by your, ear kind of mode. They still call cars vehicles. They're into it. Let them do their job. They like
00:14:01
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but she's not going to tell me what is actually going on. If it's a raccoon or if it's a person
00:14:34
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That's half off at simplisafe.com slash MFM. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. Goodbye.
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Quince.com slash MFM. Goodbye. Let's do this one. I was almost killed by a door.
00:17:16
Oh, shit. The worst kind. Yeah. Dear murder crew and furry friends, my dad and I like to swap crazy stories to see if we can outdo each other.
00:17:24
He usually wins since he has been stabbed twice and chased by a lion. Shit. One night we were doing this.
00:17:32
That is awesome. Is he that cartoon commander that's like, when in my day, he got chased by two lines and stabbed twice with nothing.
00:17:42
It was from Rocky and Bullwinkle. Oh, yeah. One night we were doing this and I was talking about
00:17:48
the time a door fell on me. My dad got quiet and told me not to joke about it. And I asked why.
00:17:53
I was seven at the time So I didn remember every detail But basically my parents worked in an open office type place and they were splitting up the hallway by installing a door The specific instructions were do not run through the hallway since the door frame
00:18:07
since the frame and door was there, but the hinges weren't on yet. Well, I ran through the hallway chasing my dogs and they were both able to slip through the door.
00:18:14
I wasn't and the door fell on me. I was crying because it ended with a broken leg.
00:18:19
Oh, shit. But my dad was screaming frantically not to move. I wanted to turn and look at him, but he was actually yelling at the top of his lungs not to move.
00:18:27
And I didn't know why until about a year ago when I was 18. The door had a coat hook on it that had just barely pierced my neck.
00:18:34
If I had turned to look at my dad, I would have effectively impaled myself and severed one of the major arteries in my neck.
00:18:41
My dad confessed when he first started yelling. It was in hope because he thought I was already dead.
00:18:46
Fuck off, universe, because I'm still alive. anyway stay sexy and don't run through uninstalled doors levi perfect advice amazing oh my god i love
00:19:00
that story so much the shit we did as kids that almost got us killed constantly also the shit
00:19:06
where when you're hurt if you just don't know what's happening it doesn't hurt as bad like
00:19:10
it's i know i've told you the story but when my mom worked in santa rosa which is north of
00:19:15
Petaluma and she was going down the freeway and she saw a guy flip his truck and walked up and
00:19:22
the truck was upright when she got to it, but the windshield was broken. And when she got up to the
00:19:28
guy, it was like a PG&E type truck. And the guy was sitting facing forward and he had a little
00:19:32
bit of blood on his like head or whatever. And my mom said, I'm a nurse. Is there anything,
00:19:38
do you hurt anywhere? Do you need to tell me like whatever, what's going on? And he went,
00:19:43
I think I'm fine. I mean, my head hurts a little bit. And then as he was saying that he turned to
00:19:48
her and he had a huge piece of glass embedded in the, in his forehead, but he just didn't know it.
00:19:54
Did he die? Cause he was in shock. No, no, no. He was fine. He was fine. It was like, you know, it was, it's a skull. So it was just like a thing that like
00:20:01
was sticking there, but it all happened so fast. That sounds like a nightmare. And then this is, it's the craziest story, but it's one of those family ones.
00:20:09
My mom was in her nurse's whites when she was talking to the guy. So when she turned away,
00:20:13
to walk back to her car. She had blood on the front because it was on his door. And then our family friend, Ann Lillie,
00:20:21
was driving up the freeway, sees my mom walking down the freeway with blood on her
00:20:25
and thinks that she was in the accident. Yeah, and she's going crazy now. And she pulls over.
00:20:29
Yeah, it was crazy. Oh. Small town fun. Oh, is it me? It's you now. Last one? Okay.
00:20:35
I'm not going to read you this one because it gives the whole, it gives it all away.
00:20:38
Okay. Okay. And there's no greeting, which I respect the most. In 1968, there was a hit and run in the city of Fulton, New York, not to be confused with Fulton, Montgomery County.
00:20:49
I was never. Thank God, because I was right on the verge. This person had been driving down the main road in the city on Halloween night and had hit and killed a four-year-old girl named Carolee Ashby, who was crossing the street with her older sister.
00:21:04
Yeah, I mean. Heartbreaking. Her body was thrown 133 feet and the driver took off and was never caught.
00:21:11
Monster. Horrifying. 44 years later in 2013, a man named Douglas Parkhurst confessed to the murder, but was not charged as the statute of limitations had expired. It said that he might have been drunk and thought he hid a dog. Apparently, he had never apologized to the family directly. Here's where it gets wild.
00:21:31
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Douglas Parkhurst had since moved to Portland, Maine, where he lived with his family in 2018.
00:21:37
He was at his grandchildren's Little League game when all of a sudden a woman named Carol Shero drunkenly drove through the field gate and was driving recklessly on the field with children on it.
00:21:49
Fuck. There are a couple different accounts of what happened next. But Parkhurst was either in the midst of pushing children out of the way or closing the gate to the field when when Shero struck him and killed him.
00:22:00
he was the only person that died Shara has since been charged with manslaughter and previously charged with two DUIs
00:22:07
if you didn't notice the little girl Parkhurst killed was named Carol Lee and he was killed by a woman named Carol
00:22:15
oh my god oh my god I'm fucking chill and they think he was drunk and she was drunk
00:22:20
I'm still in awe of this story it might actually be aired on ESPN as they did an excerpt
00:22:27
surrounding Parkhurst's heroic sacrifice quote unquote at the little league game thank you for reading my story stay sexy and don't drink and
00:22:35
drive do not autumn it's so crazy how like the tainting of a thing you do will always taint
00:22:42
there's just taints everywhere it's really true it's like your life is covered in taints that's
00:22:48
i mean but that's why i'm so careful when i'm taking a left and look i always check that
00:22:54
fucking crosswalk the last thing you want to do like i've said this before but if a bunch of
00:22:59
cars are stopped and you go around them to speed past yeah you might want to consider their stop
00:23:04
for a reason right and before you gun it through check the crosswalk and make sure people aren't
00:23:10
stopping for people crossing because that's how people have killed like children crossing the
00:23:15
street and it is a nightmare that's it's horrifying that's really good advice thanks no i mean it i
00:23:21
mean i really mean it that's really good advice karen but it's actually like the best advice
00:23:26
And I just say that I'm just a cunt. Okay. This last one I have is called, I almost got my dad arrested on suspicion of murder.
00:23:33
Oh, hi, Karen. Nope. Hi, Georgia, Karen, Steven, and various furry friends. I was a particularly precocious toddler, aka very easily bored and very hard work.
00:23:43
And one time when I was about two or three, my uncle was meant to keeping an eye on me,
00:23:48
but probably wasn't giving me his full attention. Somehow I got ahold of the house phone and rang 999.
00:23:53
Are you in Australia? And spoke to the emergency services. When the operator asked where my mommy and daddy were, I said,
00:24:00
My mommy had been gone for ages and my daddy was in the garden digging a very big hole.
00:24:04
Oh my God. Being quite rightly suspicious of this, they sent around a police officer to my house to
00:24:11
see what the hell was going on and to question my dad. Turns out that my dad was simply digging a pond in the garden while my mom was just at
00:24:18
work. They also had to ring the nursing home where my mom worked to make sure that my dad was
00:24:23
legit. They, the police, didn't seem to see the funny side of it and I got a very stern telling
00:24:27
off from my mom and dad although now it's one of their favorite stories to tell stay sexy and
00:24:32
don't let toddlers ring the emergency services lucy it's true thank god it turned out that way
00:24:39
because it the real version of what they thought was possibly happening is so bone chillingly
00:24:44
horrifying and actually is like the the teacher's pet podcast is like the story of it yeah that's
00:24:50
right you know it's like that is digging the pool digging in the pool right mom's been gone for a
00:24:55
long time. Send us your emails. My favorite murder at Gmail. We just like good stories.
00:25:00
It doesn't matter what it's about. We just love to podcast your minis. We do. Truly.
00:25:05
Yeah. And stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, you want a cookie? If audiobooks are your thing, or if you've been meaning to listen to more of them,
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you should check out a podcast called Earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club hosted by Cal Penn Each episode spotlights standout audiobooks on Audible across all kinds of genres We see you next time
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Go to CheapCaribbean.com to try out the Budget Beach Finder and see just how stress-free vacation planning should be.
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Goodbye. This may surprise you, but clothes that feel good and look good don't have to be mutually exclusive.
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designs that make you feel as good as you look is what hill house is known for hill house home
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invented the viral nap dress hill house makes fun versatile fashion that elevates your look
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i now own three nap dresses i love them they're so comfy and cute pockets for days for days you know
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that's mfm15 for 15 off at hillhousehome.com goodbye