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This is exactly right. Your husband is not who you think he is. Your body is not what you thought it was.
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Your identity is formed by a secret history. I'm Dani Shapiro, and these are just a few of the stunning stories I'll be exploring on the 14th season of Family Secrets.
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He kind of shoved me out of the way and said, move. And he went out the front door and he jumped in a car and drove off.
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And that was the last time I saw him. Listen to season 14 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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It's like a talk show, but going 30 miles an hour. New episodes every Monday on the Exactly Right Network.
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Listen to Do You Need a Ride on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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My favorite world. Hello. Hello. Welcome. And welcome to my favorite murder, the Minnesota.
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Quit it. The whole time we do that. Just speak at the same time, but we're guessing.
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I bet we could do it. Yeah. Let's not. Let's do it. No, let's not. No, let's not.
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I turned it around on you. Okay, this is it. We're doing shit. Here we go. Karen.
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Are you ready? Karen, do you want to go first? Hey, do you want me to go first? Yes, please go first.
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Would you love it if I went first is the way I should have asked. Yeah. Would you love this?
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The subject line of this is dispatchers help catch a murderer on the run. Yeah. Dear Karen, Georgia, Stephen and colleagues.
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I love it. I was a dispatcher in a local city for about 10 years. During that time, we took so many crazy calls, but one really sticks out for me.
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A woman had been killed execution style in the parking lot of an apartment complex by
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her estranged boyfriend. this happened overnight and her boyfriend fled the scene and went to another city
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he ended up calling our dispatch center and was playing the concerned boyfriend card asking about
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her status apparently he didn't know that she actually died out of nowhere i just came up with
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an idea to tell him that i couldn't release any information on her medical condition but i would
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transfer him to the hospital where she was and let him speak to the nurse in charge i placed him on
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hold and told my fellow dispatcher to be the charge nurse can you do is this legal who knows
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and i would transfer this guy to him i think first if you start by murdering your girlfriend
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right how about if you call 9-1-1 they can do whatever they want yeah uh be be warned right
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okay my fellow dispatcher did a fucking amazing job of getting information from this guy and
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convinced him to come back to our city to see his girlfriend in the hospital the other dispatcher
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working that night was my best friend and she was coordinating our responses to make a very long
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story short we had our officers waiting for him at the hospital and he was arrested we got
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commendations from our lieutenant for the quick thinking and the work we put in that night so
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yeah it's legal um it was such a great feeling knowing we had a small part in getting this guy
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off the streets i'm no longer in law enforcement and i don't know what happened to that guy in court
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but it's still one of my proudest moments stay sexy and don't be an idiot murderer and overall
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shitty person. That's our new tagline. It's time for a change. Stay sexy and don't be an idiot
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murderer and an overall shitty person. Thanks for all you guys do, Amy. Wow, that's incredible.
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That's the best. Good job. Are you good at like, if someone's like, pretend to be this,
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I couldn't do it. I guess it just depends. I mean, like, I think I'd be okay at it.
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but I have that thing where like, even if it was something just like a real life thing,
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like I'd want to be a really good, I would want people to think I did good acting and then I'd overthink it and be
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bad. Overdo it. Yeah. Yeah. I just can't, I would start giggling even if it was serious.
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Cause I just can't do shit like that. Okay. This one's a little long, so I'm going to go first with it.
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Reason 101 why you shouldn't ever scare the shit of your, out of your grandma. Lighthearted.
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hi KGS and fur so back in the day so back in the day ever since I can remember my sister and I love
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to hide and jump out and scare the shit out of our grandma God rest her soul and before being judged she would do the same to us Yes Fuck yeah grandma
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Oh my God. I know. So very weird. However, it was just one of the many crazy things we did with our grandma
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since she was quite the character. One day, my sister was at my grandma's house waiting for her to get dropped off by my mom.
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She had been in the front of the house and had come to the back where she heard my grandma fumbling with her key in the lock at the door.
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She then got the fantastic idea, you guessed it, to scare the shit out of my grandma.
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She crept as quietly as she could, grabbed the inside door handle, and even bent over at the waist so she could be eye level with her and get her real good.
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Then, as swiftly as she could, she turned the handle really fast, threw the door open, and still crouched, screamed at the top of her lungs,
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Boo! However, to her ever-living fucking horror, it was not my grandmother. Oh, it was a creepy man with a screwdriver that was trying to pick the lock.
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I don't know how old the sister was, but I'm picturing seven. Drop off nine. Yeah.
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Yeah. Ten. Yeah. Eleven. They were literally an inch away from each other. And mind you, face to face, since he was bent over hard at work, breaking into the door to get into the damn house.
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She said they both froze for what seemed like five minutes, but was probably not probability about probably about five seconds.
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He was so shocked and equally horrified that this crazy bitch screamed boo in his face that he dropped the screwdriver, fell backwards, couldn't get it fast enough because he kept tripping and took off around the corner of the house and down the driveway in a mad dash.
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My sister was so shaken up, obviously, that it took her several minutes to move, close the door and lock it and dial the rotary phone for help.
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Yes, we're old. Yes. We shudder to think what could have happened. I mean, too many ways this fucking story could have ended and I could be telling y'all about it in an entirely different way.
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We never found out who it was or caught him. But we were we also wonder if this could have possibly been his fucking wake up call to never try that again.
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Yeah. Lesson learned from the boo screaming bitch. My sister. I can't wait to see you guys in Houston in May.
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Stay sexy. And for God's sake, don't fucking play such a terrifying game of scaring the shit out of your grandma ever.
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thanks for everything y'all doing y'all rock Susan that was amazing also it's the argument
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of not every person breaking into your house is brave and psychotic some of them are just like
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desperate and as scared as you are and that doesn't matter don't interact don't offer them coffee
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they're not better than you because they're breaking into your house are they brave
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No, they're terrified too. You're as creepy as they are. You're the bravest person we've ever met.
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And the creepiest person. Yeah. Go creep somebody else out. Go show them. Yeah. But you take two screwdrivers with you.
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Yeah. Don't do any of this. Okay. I won't redo the subject line of this. I just learned something interesting tonight after playing board games for the evening with my parents, husband and son.
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I can't believe I'm learning this at 39. Apparently, when I was two years old, my dad was nearly arrested for robbing a bank.
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he was at a gas station when a police officer approached him and told him he had to accompany
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him for a trip to the police station my dad is the most passive kind elementary school teacher
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man on the planet um and gladly obliged once at the station he was handed a few photographs and
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asked who does this look like my sweet angel father laughed and said well that looks like me
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oh my god what was the picture you ask it was a man robbing the local bank oh my dad of course
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explained it wasn't him and then gave an alibi. Unfortunately, that alibi was nearly useless as
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he was getting a haircut at my great aunt's house. Oh my God. What made matters worse was they checked
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his bank accounts and it showed he'd just moved all of his funds to an out of state bank. You see,
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my mom, pregnant with my brother and I had just moved to Tacoma, Washington, where we were waiting
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on my dad to wrap up his side business of family portraits in Idaho. So it looked like he had moved
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his family, closed his business, robbed a bank, and was leaving town to start over.
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Not a bad plan, really. Right? In the end, he was only saved because he grew up with the judge that was asked to sign the
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warrant. And the judge laughed and said, that's ridiculous. There's no way that could be bill.
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Eventually, they did catch the real bank robber, thank goodness, because my dad was instructed
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not to leave town until it was resolved. He said he suffered some pretty sweaty palms for a while, but that it was all worth it for
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the cash. Dad jokes. Oh, dad jokes. Stay sexy and don't tell the police you look
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like the bank robber, Rachel. Well, that looks like me. Why? Oh, I know the answer.
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Oh, hey, isn't that weird? What's this all about, officer? Let's see here. I have two
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grandpa stories. Let's do this one. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. The message for everyone paying big wireless
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way too much. Please, for the of everything good in this world. Stop. With Mint, you can get premium wireless for just $15 a month.
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give it a try at mintmobile slash switch Upfront payment of for three plan equivalent to per month required Intro rate first three months only then full price plan options available taxes and fees extra see full terms at mintmobile Your husband is not who you think he is Your body
00:10:53
is not what you thought it was. Your identity is formed by a secret history. I'm Dani Shapiro.
00:10:59
And these are just a few of the stunning stories I'll be exploring on the 14th season of family
00:11:05
secrets. And just then, we felt the plane turn in the air, so much so that the bags that were under
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people's seats just kind of flew into the aisle. Each week, we dive headfirst into the complex
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power of secrecy, how it shapes our identities and relationships, and how it ultimately can reveal
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to us our truest selves. My daughter, she's pretending she doesn't know, but is trying to
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cook and feed me and keep me alive because I wasn't eating anything. And me pretending like
00:11:34
everything was fine. He kind of shoved me out of the way and said, move. And he went out the front door and he jumped in a car
00:11:40
and drove off and that was the last time I saw him. Listen to season 14 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app,
00:11:47
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. When you feel uncomfortable, what do you put on? Biggie.
00:11:54
You put on Biggie when you feel uncomfortable? Because I want to get confident. This is DJ Hester Prynne's Music is Therapy,
00:11:59
a weekly podcast from me, a DJ and licensed therapist. It's Mental Health Month. Let's figure out what actually works.
00:12:06
I didn't care about my life circumstance when I listened to that stuff. It didn't matter to me.
00:12:11
This isn't just a podcast. It's unconventional therapy for you every day. Open your free iHeartRadio app, search DJ Hester Prince Music is Therapy, and start listening now.
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No, let's do this one. Hola, Karen, Georgia, Stephen, and Fur Friends. My name is Denora, and I'm originally from Puerto Rico, but I've been living in Nashville, Tennessee since 2010.
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Hola. Hola. My mom and I were leaving a Pilates class and listening to a minisode when she revealed that my paternal grandfather went to prison for murder.
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Oh. Back in the late 70s, my grandfather was a low-level drug dealer in Puerto Rico, and one day he noticed that a weird car had passed by his house a couple times.
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All of a sudden, the people from inside that car started shooting into my grandfather's house.
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inside where my dad, his siblings, and his mom. My grandfather took a gun from his illegal gun stash and started shooting.
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Yeah, I bet he did. Unfortunately, he ended up killing an innocent bystander that was trying to shield himself from the gunfire.
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Oh, God. My grandfather ended up being charged with involuntary homicide because he refused to name the people who were shooting at him.
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Well, but that's kind of smart. Yeah, that's right. my grandfather ended up going to jail
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with serial murderers in La Princesa Prison which is located inside the El Morro Fort
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in Puerto Rico I'm sure it's a lovely place to do summer well that's where they imprison all the princesses
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you know La Princesa he recounted the stories of how prisoners would murder each other
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and cut people in pieces and hide them in walls no in prison? pieces of people in prison walls
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no this is basically a murder and finding things in the wall story It's the worst one yet.
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Yes. He did eventually get out through drug court and helped establish a drug rehabilitation program.
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I'm sorry, I'm high on drugs. That is still going on today. Because he recovered and never committed a crime again, he got an official pardon from the governor of Puerto Rico.
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My grandfather died in 1995 due to liver cancer from his drug addict days. Yeah.
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I was two when he died, so I don't remember that much about him. So imagine my surprise when my mom revealed this to me while leaving a fucking Pilates class.
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I absolutely love the podcast and think y'all are hilarious. It's good to know I'm not the only person who finds murder interesting.
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SSDGM Donora. Donora, that was really good. God, that's sad. And then, like, there's redemption.
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You're up, you're down. But that's that fucking thing about, like, you know, shooting.
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Guns are bad and they kill innocent people. That's right. And that sucks. okay this one is simply entitled weird milk boy i'm on board i'm here for this light-hearted
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hi mfm crew once upon a night of chilling at my apartment after work i heard a knock at my door
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it was around 10 30 p.m and i wasn't expecting anyone i was too much of a couch potato at that
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point that i just stayed sitting and thought they'll go away after a few seconds i heard another
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knock. This time it was louder. Internally grunting, I went to the door and looked through
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the people, vaguely recognizing this guy. I knew he had lived in the same apartment complex because
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we had once had a fire alarm go off at 3 a.m. and had walked down the hallway together.
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We probably exchanged a total of five words, though, and I didn't know his name or anything.
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I, for some reason, decided to open the door. No, no. He had an uncapped soda cup in his hand
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filled with water and he asked me, can I have some milk? What? I replied with, uh, and he said,
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you can just fill half the cup. At this point, my heart was beating fast because one, this is
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technically a complete stranger asking me for something weird. And two, it was somewhat late
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at night and I'm a small female who lives alone. At this point, I started panicking thinking,
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what if he tries to break into my apartment or is he trying to scan my apartment so he can come
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attack me later In any case I grabbed the cup closed my door stupidly didn lock it poured out the water poured in some milk opened the door handed it back to him Then he smiled and walked away And I never saw him again after that I guess he just really needed some milk And I was the lucky
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target. I told the story to my co-workers who ended up lecturing me on never opening doors for
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strangers, which I obviously know now. They also taunted me for a while asking, hey, Mary, can I
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some milk. I'm the one doing that voice. I thought it was exactly like one way. I'm glad it ended the
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way it did though. Mary. Oh, Mary, sweet, innocent Mary. Stay sexy and don't give milk to strangers.
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Sorry, that was on the second page. Milk, Mary. I love that because yeah, don't ever fucking open
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your door no matter who it is. I know like you think that's not a stranger because I've seen him
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before. But if you're a girl, a woman alone in an apartment, you don't need to answer the door to
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even like a friend who's a dude if it's late at night and there's no reason for them to be there.
00:16:59
No, not at all. You know? Yeah. And then if you think it's a situation where you're fine, definitely, if you're going to grab the cup, lock the door behind you.
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But I feel like that's where the politeness, I get that, because that's where the politeness comes in.
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Where you're like, I don't want to be rude and lock the door. So you don't. But, you know, then you're fucked.
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So just don't even answer the door. Well, and also there's a bit of a manipulation playing on that, like, neighborly, oh, can I just borrow a cup of sugar thing?
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Which is really weird. And, like, no. Whatever you need milk for, you can have it in the morning.
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Yeah, and who drinks milk anymore? What kind of? Haven't you ever heard of lactate?
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Yeah, non-dairy, fucking everything. Okay. This one is called Grandpa Interrupts a Police Helicopter Chase.
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Hello, all. In the 80s, my grandparents, my mother, and her three siblings lived in a suburb of L.A. in a not-so-great area.
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My grandfather, a portly Syrian immigrant who loves scotch, was and is super paranoid about being murdered and was always rushing to the door to see what was going on with sirens and such.
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Sure. One summer evening, my mom and her siblings were swimming in their backyard pool when someone scales their fence and jumps into their backyard.
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It's a woman who is seriously high and twitchy and she stands there staring at them.
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They all tread water and wonder what the fuck to do. Oh, no. Then they hear sirens on the street and a fucking helicopter swoops over their neighborhood.
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Mom and her siblings run inside soaking wet and watch through the windows as the strange woman runs into the front yard.
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My mom says there are cops all over the street with guns drawn and the trees around my house are literally whipping with the wind from the helicopter.
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It is at this point that my grandpa in nothing but his very tight 1980s swim bottoms walks into the front yard to see what's going on.
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He literally walked into a helicopter chase. My mom says that at least 10 cops, all with their guns pointing at him, started screaming,
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sir, go inside. My grandpa, not one to be told what to do on his own property, remained on the lawn until
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the woman had been tackled. He's a taxpayer. God damn it. This is my lawn. I pay these property taxes.
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That's right. To this day, we ask him what exactly he thought he was going to accomplish by walking into
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a guns drawn situation. And he always replies, God damn it. I had to see what was going on.
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Grandpa. Stay sexy and don't interrupt helicopter chases, Liz. God damn it. I wanted to see what was going on.
00:19:23
Send us your weird stories about your grandparents or helicopter chases or milk stories.
00:19:31
Whatever it takes. Whatever happens. Tell us. We love it. Can I have some milk? My favorite murder at Gmail.
00:19:38
And stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, you want a cookie? running a business shouldn't feel like surviving a software group project
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