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00:02:50
Hello. And welcome. Welcome. This is My Favorite Murder. The podcast. That's Karen Kilgara.
00:02:57
And that's Georgia Hardstark. That's right. It's raining today. Oh, you should see it in Los Angeles, everybody, and the rest of all of the world.
00:03:05
Yeah. There's people right now in Stockholm, Sweden. Are they okay? Wait, is it Sweden?
00:03:10
Yeah. I think so. I don't trust anything that comes out of my mouth. A hundred percent.
00:03:17
Ever. I'm going to go with a hundred percent. But I'm also constantly talking. It's kind of the...
00:03:22
So half of it's going to be fucking wrong. I know math really well. Yeah. Just like with the...
00:03:26
half is always wrong. Half and then with me, you can add another 45% on top of that.
00:03:32
You know places I know math together. Ding dong. We're fucking Steve Jobs. 25% is the same as
00:03:40
100. Let's not dwell on the past. Look, in the future we're going to be so accurate that this podcast won't be good.
00:03:49
You know what I mean? Yeah. Boring. No one's asking us to tighten up our game no because who wants that speaking of what do we now call what do we call it's time for
00:04:00
corrections exactly what do we call a correction of a corrections corrections corrections corner
00:04:05
correction squared it's squared that was amazing thank you i've done it for a living
00:04:11
so lizzie and for me last way i correct i corrected myself of uh the to-do list which
00:04:18
everyone's sick of no one needs to hear it anymore right okay but it's my favorite i love it it's a
00:04:22
to-do list don't just write a to-do list write a fucking to-do list of shit you've accomplished
00:04:26
today in your life you know whatever the positive yeah uh lens that you look at things exactly
00:04:32
totally positivity we love it positivity originally i fucking said gail king did it
00:04:37
the following when i corrected it i said someone else did it okay i was incorrect oh oh okay he
00:04:43
wrote georgia sorry you're wrong about that uh julia cameron is the person who did the to-do list
00:04:50
And she's an author who wrote The Artist's Way, which Lizzie is obsessed with. Yes, she is.
00:04:55
Lizzie Cooperman, our good comedy friend. Our good. I thought you were going to say our good buddy, which would be so odd.
00:05:01
But Lizzie Cooperman literally does morning pages still to this day every morning.
00:05:05
Yeah. The Artist's Way. You know what? Read it. Sorry. I just interrupted you four times.
00:05:10
Please. In one moment. I just remembered my mom gave me The Artist's Way when I moved to L.A.
00:05:17
I've taken it with me every time I've moved. it's just one of those books that's always in the thing and i've never read it and i'm going to do
00:05:24
it was she the kind of mom this is what my mom is like who will write something in the big like
00:05:28
sign it like she wrote it yes are you gonna cry remember that i bet you if i open it she's gonna
00:05:33
have said something really inspirational oh my god will you please let us know yes i'll bring it in
00:05:40
okay also my mom was real big into cards yeah she would send you a card for no reason did she
00:05:45
It would just be like, Dad and I went down to the blah, blah, blah last night. Miss you.
00:05:51
Hope you're doing good. And she also if you needed a card she would always go do you have a card And we be like no You supposed to have a card for this fucking occasion For everything And she go upstairs and have her choice of like 40 cards There a thank you
00:06:05
There's a this. I tried to be that person for a while, but it's really hard. So I just got blank cards and now I have them.
00:06:10
Well, those are good because what she would do is I think she started folding into her
00:06:14
like things I have to do today. One of the things would be like stand in the CVS or the Longs Drugs and Petaluma and just
00:06:21
read some funny cards and buy them if she felt like it. That's adorable. Yeah, she's pretty good about that.
00:06:26
Yeah. That's such a mom thing. I know. I'll never have it. I hate cards so much.
00:06:32
Maybe it's because my mom would just sign her name to some fucking card. And then she'd be like, did you read it?
00:06:36
I'm like, well, you didn't fucking write it. Why would I read it? Moms. Fucking mom.
00:06:43
Okay, so I have corrections corner. Great. You've corrected a correction. Yeah. Squared.
00:06:47
I would like to turn this into apology corner. Great. Because when we were talking about Olivia Colman last week, you said, oh, she was on that Mitchell and Webb look, which is a sketch show that the guys from Peep Show did before they did Peep Show.
00:07:01
And I said, no, she wasn't in that voice. You did? Well, I just said no. Or I was like, oh, she was in Peep Show.
00:07:08
Well, I didn't want. I've seen two sketches from that Mitchell and Webb look. Number Wang and the one where.
00:07:15
Number Wang is so good. go on youtube and look up number wing and just watch the best game show of all time and then the
00:07:23
nazi sketch where david mitchell plays a head nazi that goes are we the baddies he realizes that
00:07:28
nazis are bad as a nazi it's amazing so she was on it and a bunch of people were like karen you
00:07:34
said no to georgia but she was right so you were right okay and i never even knew i was told i was
00:07:40
wrong but I love this feeling I negated you um so I thought because Olivia Coleman we love her so
00:07:47
much we've loved her for a long time I thought it might be fun if we also had Olivia Coleman corner
00:07:52
and we just went over just very lightly some just so we know about do you have her IMDB there yeah
00:07:58
I sure do I mean it's even printed oh my god let's fucking get into Olivia Coleman let's make her be
00:08:03
our best friend please you know our best friend Olivia Coleman I mean if anybody deserves to have
00:08:08
a corner anywhere. It's Olivia Colman. She has been a journeyman actress for comedically and
00:08:16
dramatically, which very few people can do. The things she does on Broadchurch and the things she does on
00:08:22
Pink Show are, it's the one woman and yet she's doing the full reign. And she had the
00:08:28
fucking wherewithal and foresight to wear a fucking dress to the Oscars. Yes, that's right. With pockets
00:08:34
in it. Yeah, she had pockets. Her fucking gown had pockets. She's one of us, one of us, one of us. Let's do it. She hates us.
00:08:41
Sari. Will you take out that? Oh, which part? When I just said Sari, which is not a fucking word or name.
00:08:49
Please don't take that out. Do not remove that. It's getting drunk in here. It's getting jiggy and we're literally four minutes in. Okay. Sarah
00:09:00
Caroline, Olivia Coleman, born January 30th, 1974, is an English actress, recipient of several awards,
00:09:08
including an Academy Award. So this has been very recently updated. They're on it.
00:09:13
Four BAFTA awards, two Golden Globe Awards, and the Volpe Cup for Best Actress. That's not a real thing.
00:09:18
Yeah, that's given out at the Petaluma Restaurant Volpe. And it's a cup of Jameson's whiskey
00:09:24
that they give you for being a good actress. I want to win it. That's my goal in life.
00:09:28
I've won it so many times. She was a graduate of the Bristol Old Vic Theater School.
00:09:34
Came to prominence for her work in television, her breakthrough as Sophie Chapman on the Channel 4 comedy series Peep Show, which went from, I didn't know this, 2003 to 2015.
00:09:48
Holy shit. That show was on for fucking 12 years. Dude, you guys watch it. It's great.
00:09:51
Oh, it's so good. She was also on the show Green Wing, which my friend Michelle Gomez was on and is hilarious on.
00:09:58
Green Wing is a great British comedy series. We're offering you all these good shows.
00:10:03
Beautiful people. Rev, I just recently rented Rev or got it or whatever. It's so good.
00:10:10
And it's the guy, it's Olivia Colman is the wife and the husband who plays the reverend.
00:10:13
He's like just like a reverend of a church. Not like revving up your motorcycle.
00:10:17
Kind of the opposite. It's Rev Down. Down your coolness. It's the guy that plays the like priest cousin in Pride and Prejudice who comes and he's
00:10:28
one of my favorite British actors. He's so good. He's basically like a male Olivia Colman, really.
00:10:34
She's won BAFTAs for Best Comedy Performance. She's fucking... Oh, and then, of course, she won for Broadchurch, BAFTA for Best Actress in Broadchurch, which
00:10:46
is a fucking straight up heavy drama. True crime, right? True crime. She got a Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress for The Night Manager in 2016.
00:10:56
That's Bill Nighy, I believe. Why would I even? All right. So we'll have an Olivia Colman corner, but that'll just kick us off.
00:11:03
If you don't know her, get to fucking know her. No, you do. She's our new mascot for my favorite murder.
00:11:10
Congratulations. Mascot might be slightly constant. It is. You're right. She's our new leader.
00:11:15
She is our leader. She's our CEO. She's our patron saint. That's right. I have a question.
00:11:22
Yes. Did you watch Leaving Neverland? No. Don't do it. Don't do it? Do it. It's terrible.
00:11:28
Do it. Okay. It was one of those things where Vince and I were like, so excited to go watch it.
00:11:32
We got home. We started watching it. And he goes, I don't want to watch this anymore, like halfway through because it's terrible.
00:11:37
So depressing. And I was like, me too. This is horrible. And snuck back up later.
00:11:42
Pretended I was a normal human being and didn't like to hear the most fucked up things you've ever heard in your life.
00:11:47
I mean I will definitely watch it because I made the whole writer room at Baskets one day look through all the police pictures when they went into Neverland of those mannequins I the weird there the weird shit in his house I was like hey has anyone ever seen this and then
00:12:05
we're just going through and there's it's just a house filled like eight locks on each door
00:12:09
horrifying the show is fascinating incredible it's awful and I just feel for these two men
00:12:17
with all my heart wait no is it a Netflix documentary do you know it's a documentary
00:12:23
I think Netflix bought it. And so it's a two-part documentary. No, wait. HBO Now.
00:12:27
There we go. HBO Now. Good. HBO whenever. Or wherever you find your Michael Jackson documentary.
00:12:33
Here's my next one. Because the fish I was talking about on the last episode was the red hand fish.
00:12:41
I actually interacted with several people on Twitter about it. Because people go, is this the fish?
00:12:46
And they were all excited. Is it this salamander? Is it this whatever? And I finally had to look it up.
00:12:51
It was hard to find. Um, it's called the red hand fish is the one that I saw at the, um, aquarium that I was
00:12:58
at. You tripped balls on cause it had hands. It was holding, but then people started sending me a meme and there is a meme out there of
00:13:07
this exact fish. So yes, all the people that sent me the meme going, is this a fish?
00:13:12
Yes, you're right. It's the, it's the fish holding, uh, its arms out between the two rocks and then the meme
00:13:20
And just up on top, it just says, excuse me, rocks. Oh, my God. And it's fucking hilarious.
00:13:26
And yes, that is the fish. I know it is the red hand fish. That's what I looked it up as.
00:13:31
Could have a more official name because the one in the meme is yellow. Oh, my God.
00:13:36
Isn't that? But isn't it the weirdest thing? Stephen's showing us a photo of him.
00:13:40
He's disturbing me. Excuse me, rocks. So, yes, this is the fish we were talking about last time.
00:13:46
Everyone's right. I'm going to get back on Twitter because as far as I know, I don't ever do anything wrong.
00:13:50
Instagram, Instagram, maybe one person will comment something other than. Yeah, you got to jump on Twitter and just people let you know.
00:13:58
I actually responded to that Olivia Colman because the Olivia Colman message that she was actually on that Metralon web look came in, I would say at like 730 a.m.
00:14:09
And then I just I wrote back, well, the corrections corner starting early on this one.
00:14:15
You got to know. yeah you gotta know we gotta be told don't we like it we do also just i am so behind on my
00:14:22
true crime tv there's people who constantly are like have you seen finding neverland have you seen
00:14:27
whatever these shows are that come out and i'm i would say i'm five behind which ones are there
00:14:33
that we need to watch i mean oh dude there's one yes what were you gonna say well no i i mean the
00:14:39
list goes on it's like all the ones everyone's already talked about basically this one where
00:14:43
this girl gets kidnapped by her neighbor. Yes. It is the most fucked up fucking show I've ever seen.
00:14:51
What is it called? Hold on. Abducted in plain sight. Abducted in plain sight. Yes.
00:14:54
Steven. I think you actually told me about it. Yeah. I text. I think I was one of those.
00:14:59
Are you watching this right now? I'm freaking the fuck out because I was alone. Yes.
00:15:02
And I just figured that you'd happen to put it on the exact same Friday night that I was alone at home drinking white wine.
00:15:08
You should have. We should have done that. Sometimes it happens. Yeah, it does. I just didn't know how fucked up it would be.
00:15:12
And listen, there's aliens. It's just so it's similar to finding leaving Neverland because it's like, why didn't the parents do anything?
00:15:24
Right. Well, you know, it's funny. I have listened to people talk about this and quietly smiled and nodded my head because I haven't watched it.
00:15:31
And every time I go to watch anything, all I want to do is watch The Sopranos. I'm almost through the rest.
00:15:37
Oh, I get it. Season six. I don't want to waste my time on this. thing i don't want to go to i'm in this kind of like weird mafia violence yet philosophical ennui
00:15:46
i don't want to go into child molestation i mean it's very triggering and troubling and awful and
00:15:54
awful it's what we all pay attention to i mean it's just fucked up and it's cautionary um
00:15:59
yeah yeah it's a lot it's a lot yeah it's people need to know this is how it happens right they
00:16:06
need to know. They should know. Alright, speaking of true crime. Speaking of true crime,
00:16:12
Olivia Colman, her alma mater is Homerton College in Cambridge. I was hoping you get
00:16:18
to that one. I was hoping you get to that. Everyone at home was like, come on. We all have Olivia Colman bingo
00:16:24
that we're playing. Is she going to say what college she went to? Talk about her first college,
00:16:28
not just her theater school. That's right. What'd she do in 2017? We want to know. Pockets, pockets, pockets.
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00:19:14
You're first, right? Am I? Yeah. Steven says yes. now I can't read oh I can't remember who told me to do this this came through a conversation I was
00:19:26
having I don't think it was a listener on Twitter or anything but if I'm wrong I have next week I
00:19:32
have the blind faith that someone will let me know you gotta hope I hope to God um but when it uh
00:19:39
was suggested by whoever I feel like it was more personal conversation in real life but I can't
00:19:44
tell anymore could have been my friend Gigi what if I'm doing it today because I was like I'm gonna
00:19:48
do this one don't do it and I was like sounds great I will do it um it is do you ever watch
00:19:55
Hogan's Heroes in your life a little bit well you know Hogan was murdered oh yeah this is the murder
00:20:06
of Bob Crane right good one never done this one before very good one I've only I don't think I've
00:20:13
seen Hogan's Heroes. I'm a little too young. Yes. It was old when I was young and I'm old. Vince mentions
00:20:19
it sometimes. Up until yesterday, I thought the movie Cannonball Run was the movie Cool Runnings.
00:20:26
So I'm not up to date with your fucking 70s and 80s shows and movies. I will say this, because
00:20:33
if I'm right, Cool Runnings is about the Jamaican bobsled team. That's correct. John Candy
00:20:37
is the coach. It's a fucking great movie. It's a great movie. It's fun to watch. It's on
00:20:43
cable all the time it's the actors are great the story is based on a true story okay everything
00:20:49
about it is so it's not like so super stupid that i thought they were the same thing no that is stupid
00:20:55
no no no no i love it um but okay where were we i'm not sure um wait cool running cool running
00:21:09
and what was the one you thought though uh uh running running cannonball run thank you oh my
00:21:18
god this is the beginning of the end wow i mean i have the wine i can blame i don't know i got
00:21:23
nothing um so okay so basically when i was growing up these were the these were the reruns
00:21:32
from 70s television or late 60s television that were on like local cable. Nash and then Hogan's Heroes.
00:21:40
Exactly. Sounds so boring. And it's incredibly boring when you're young, especially because it was still at the time.
00:21:46
I would watch Hogan's Heroes when I was still young enough to be like, this is boys TV.
00:21:51
It's not girls TV, so I don't want to watch it. This is dad TV. Yeah. I'm bored.
00:21:54
This is boring. And it's army stuff. But it was actually a comedy that was essentially based on the Steve McQueen movie,
00:22:01
The Great Escape, which is about prisoners of war in World War II. Amazing. Now I'm like, okay, I'll watch
00:22:09
that. And it's a comedy. It's the one where it'd be like, what was the name? Hogan?
00:22:14
It was like a big fat German guy that would come in and yell at them. And the Nazis, of course,
00:22:19
were very stupid. And then they basically got out and did whatever they wanted. And then they'd go
00:22:23
back into prison and be like, we're here in prison. Why didn't they just leave? Because the show just kept getting renewed.
00:22:30
Got it. So the guy that played Hogan in Hogan's Heroes, even if you didn't watch the show and even if you're really young,
00:22:37
he had this face, like if you saw him, because he always had the hat and he had the leather bomber jacket and he had a real cute kind of like,
00:22:44
you know, wiseacre-y face. And he was just like, all right, sounds good. And then he'd go down like a chute or whatever.
00:22:51
Got it. He'd go trap door. 70s, right? He was super fucking famous. Yes. In the 70s and 80s?
00:22:57
In the late 60s, 70s, I would say. This show went from, I believe, like 71 to 76 or something like that.
00:23:05
So it was like when it was on reruns, it was on reruns with Flipper. Oh, my God.
00:23:10
This is Channel 44 San Francisco. Everyone's favorite channel. 70s, 80s, Channel 44.
00:23:16
That was like the cable we dreamed of. Like, oh, if that comes in, it'll be great.
00:23:19
Because you could get your Flipper and you could get some Hogan's Heroes. And then you get the Monkees, which was like the best.
00:23:26
Rest in peace, Peter Tork. You're a genius. Yeah. So this was in that mix. But I didn't,
00:23:32
it wasn't my pick because it was like dudes strategizing on how to break out of the prison for the night.
00:23:38
Yeah. And you were, and little Karen was like, make love, not war. I was like, where are the make love shows?
00:23:43
Because I'm more of a Cinemax gal. Exactly. I'm not into war. Karen already was a fucking war protester.
00:23:49
No, I was anti-war and I was pro doing it. And any information I could gather about that.
00:23:55
Absolutely. I would like to know. I'm on that. And that's why my favorite movie is summer lovers.
00:24:00
Starring Peter Gallagher and Daryl Hannah. Dirty dancing over here. Put all that.
00:24:04
That's all on the recommendation list. Yes. Okay. So let me just tell you a little bit about this.
00:24:09
Please. Bob Crane is born July 13th, 1928. Oy vey. Yeah. In Waterbury, Connecticut.
00:24:16
He's the youngest of two boys. And he grows up in Stanford, Connecticut. He's a talented, charismatic kid.
00:24:23
When he's 11 years old, he goes to the 1939 World's Fair. And he sees drummer Gene Krupa play.
00:24:29
and I don't know if you've ever heard of Gene Krupo but he was like this shit drummer
00:24:33
big time and so in having watched that performance Bob Crane is like now I want to be a drummer
00:24:41
and so he gets to because this was back when there were actually like arts programs
00:24:46
in schools so he has he picks up drumming has a tremendous amount of promise he starts playing
00:24:54
with friends and bands he joins when he gets to high school He's in the marching band, jazz band, and the orchestra.
00:25:01
Dude, love those drummers. He's like, right? They just hold shit down. He ends up then playing for the Connecticut and Norwalk Symphony Orchestras.
00:25:13
Oh, famous. As part of their... Can you believe it? I can't. He made it for their youth orchestra program.
00:25:19
So he's good at it, obviously. He graduates in 1946 from Stanford High. He then works as a watch repairman and sales clerk at a local jewelry store.
00:25:28
Another talent. He's good with his brain. Multi. And hands. Hand-eye coordination.
00:25:35
But then also real small. He enlists in the Connecticut Army National Guard. Got it.
00:25:41
On May 20th, 1949, he marries his high school sweetheart, Anne Terzian. And together they have a son and two daughters.
00:25:48
So then he moves to Hornell, or Hornel, but I think it's Hornell. New York. Like Hormel, Hornell.
00:25:55
Yeah, Hormel, Chile, New York. Yeah, got it. So he can work at a radio station called WLEA.
00:26:03
He moves around from job to job in radio. And then finally in 1956, he moves to Los Angeles to work at the CBS affiliate KNX out here as their morning radio show.
00:26:16
That is our favorite radio station out here, everyone. When George and I both tune into KNX, does it still exist?
00:26:22
No, I've never heard of it before. A three-lettered radio station? That's from before.
00:26:29
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he becomes, he's the morning show radio host. They retitle the old morning radio show The Bob Crane Show.
00:26:39
And it immediately takes off and he becomes known as the king of the Los Angeles airwaves.
00:26:43
He's the original podcaster. He really is. He did impressions. He did really good impressions.
00:26:49
he later became known as the man of a thousand voices and um yeah he just he was he was their
00:26:57
ryan seacrest back in the day got it um and on his show he interacts with a slew of notable
00:27:02
musicians and actors and other celebrities um at one point he even gets to face off with gene
00:27:08
krupa in a drum battle as like some promotional thing that's a little disrespectful uh does he
00:27:14
let him win he better fucking have lost on purpose um although gene krupa i think would
00:27:19
have just handed him his ass and said thanks so much for the radio time that's true um so bob crane
00:27:25
remains in radio for 15 years until 1965 um and he makes a name for himself as a trailblazer in
00:27:32
the field and actually they say the art of sampling can be attributed to bob crane how
00:27:38
because the way he was fucking ripping and scratching on those fucking well it was less
00:27:42
radio i mean um it was less record scratching and more that he would cluster commercial songs
00:27:49
commentary news into one seamless program. So it wasn't the stoppy, sturdy thing. Like he was
00:27:55
trying to kind of blend it all together. Never stop listening. Yeah, essentially. He, because he
00:28:01
gets so popular and he's like so well known, he gets offers from various TV producers to change
00:28:07
the morning radio show into a TV show. But he decides he doesn't want it just to be like,
00:28:11
he doesn't want to be a host. He wants to act. And so he declines all those offers. But KNX
00:28:18
knew that Bob was going to want to act. So they forged a no acting clause into his five-year contract.
00:28:26
What dicks. What do they fucking care? Sorry, I'm angry at contracts. Some contract issues.
00:28:34
I've got some issues right now. Some sensitivities. So by 1961, when the contract is up,
00:28:40
he renegotiates and he has the no acting clause lifted. Yeah. and then unlike anyone else in Los Angeles
00:28:49
he goes and tries to become an actor how special but he actually does great because he has as I said that really great
00:28:57
but also kind of like any everyman face the great voice he gets some small gigs on the Twilight Zone
00:29:05
the Alfred Hitchcock hour and then he lands a guest starring role on the Dick Van Dyke
00:29:09
show in 1962 and then that of course because that's high level shit. That show was humongous.
00:29:18
And from there, he gets a one-off role on the Donna Reed show, but is so popular that then they give him a,
00:29:25
it becomes a recurring role, the character of Dr. Dave Kelsey. So that's how he kind of breaks into TV on Donna Reed.
00:29:31
So he, for two years, he is the morning radio DJ on KNX, and he has his part on the Donna Reed show.
00:29:40
so he stops he leaves the Donna Reed show in 1964 and then in 1965 he lands the starring role on Hogan Heroes as the host as the hero of Hogan Heroes Jerry Hogan I just realized I never looked Jerry Marie Hogan get out of that prison camp
00:30:05
So Hogan's Heroes is a huge hit. It runs for six seasons. He gets two Emmy nominations for it.
00:30:12
And then in 1965, he starts to have an affair with his fellow Hogan's Heroes actor, a woman named Cynthia Lynn.
00:30:21
So his family's at home, obviously. This is a very common thing in show business as they get filled with the with the success and the fame.
00:30:29
You know, everything changes a little bit and it's the old things are better here than they are at home.
00:30:34
So apparently this was his love interest on the show. And when they would kiss on the show and then the director would call cut, they would just keep on kissing.
00:30:43
Right. So everybody at the show knew that basically they were having an affair. It was very open on the set, but to his family and then to the press and everyone else, he was this wholesome family man, the doctor from Donna Reed or whatever.
00:30:56
What a dick. So Cynthia would later note that Bob, when they were having their affair, showed this fascination with cameras, and he would often ask to photograph her nude.
00:31:10
She consented, but it was part of it. Earmark that for later. I'm doing it. um when cynthia leaves the show after the first season uh the affair essentially ends yeah that's
00:31:22
how you know it's true love is if you're not close by anymore that you're out they forget about you
00:31:27
yeah so then another affair starts in 1968 with his co-star uh an actress named patricia olsen
00:31:34
who had a different stage name but that was her real name she one of the olsen twins she was
00:31:37
mary ellen's older sister got it she was one of the olsen twins not the one of the famous ones
00:31:44
She's the fourth Olsen twin. Fourth iteration of... Yes. She's the prequel. NyQuil.
00:31:54
Oh, God. So it's on with Patricia. Let's get it. Let's do it. Let's get it on. That goes on for two years.
00:32:02
Finally, Bob divorces his wife in 1970, right before their 21st wedding anniversary.
00:32:08
Oh, well, what a dick. Yeah. He saved it up. then he ends up marrying Patricia Olsen on the set of Hogan's Heroes later the same year.
00:32:18
Tacky. Super cheesy and cornball. Okay, so the next year, Patricia gives birth to their son, Scotty.
00:32:26
And then a little while later, they adopt a daughter named Anna Marie. Have they named the middle name after his own middle name?
00:32:34
That's right. Bob Marie Crane. so sorry i'm interrupting you way too much okay please um so hogan's heroes gets canceled um then
00:32:46
bob works on various films tv shows and theater performances um and 1975 they actually give him
00:32:55
on nbc they give him his own show for a little while called the bob crane show but it only lasts
00:33:00
for 13 episodes listen it's happened to a lot of us don't be ashamed a lot more than a lot more than
00:33:06
most right those ones that start and immediately stop yeah yeah those are my favorite tv shows
00:33:11
where you're like i've seen this billboard up on on barham i've been having to stare at it for
00:33:16
four months and they're not going to take it down for eight more no but still they only aired two
00:33:21
episodes god it's a tough town it's a real tough contracts so oh contracts contracts then in 1977 bob and patricia split up uh he continues acting but
00:33:37
of course the heat of hogan's heroes and everything else is slowly starting to die it's the thing that
00:33:42
nobody ever thinks about in hollywood many many people come here they have some success and they're
00:33:48
like good i'm set forever up up and away people will always love me this exact much right oh no
00:33:53
they fucking won't. You. I know, Karen, you've been reminding me of that since we fucking started this podcast.
00:33:59
Please don't forget. This love is temporary. Please don't get detached. I can't let you get hurt like I've been hurt.
00:34:09
So, of course, and he's also like, he's basically Hogan from Hogan's Heroes. People aren't that interested in seeing him in anything else.
00:34:17
I mean, has anyone watched Bojack Horseman? It's the same fucking story. It's my favorite fucking show.
00:34:23
Bob Crane. It's the story of Bob Crane without the murder. Okay, so the career is dwindling a little bit.
00:34:31
And then in 1978, and this I think is like, it reminds me of, did you watch the movie Soap with Robert Downey Jr. and Sally Field and Kevin Kline?
00:34:42
No, but I know what you're talking about. Okay, because it's good. And let's put that on the list of recommendations.
00:34:47
That's what, Stephen, our eighth film recommendation of this episode? um we'll call this one film time yeah uh it's a great movie and it starts kevin kevin klein
00:34:57
is doing death of a salesman in florida in like a dinner theater in florida for old people that
00:35:05
will be us one day it will be and we will love it and we will fucking succeed at it the second
00:35:11
all of this begins the downslope yeah i start drinking again and i won't give a shit what
00:35:16
happens. Great. We'll do Arthur Miller plays in Tallahassee. It's going to be amazing. Let's do it.
00:35:20
We both are going to be in Death of a Salesman. That's right. Okay. And there's going to be so much more swearing than
00:35:26
Arthur Miller, that's a guess, ever intended to be in his play. Okay. So in 1978, he's
00:35:32
cast in a run of Beginner's Luck at the Windmill Dinner Theater in Scottsdale, Arizona.
00:35:38
Oh, God. Yes. That's tough. That hurts me. And it's not that like, it's within the
00:35:44
decade of when Hogan Sears' is canceled. So this is true pain, Hollywood pain. Yeah.
00:35:51
This is where you really have gone off the you no longer invited to the big party Pretty quick Yeah It rough And the other thing too is he had built such a it a huge career This man really it a foundation
00:36:05
Yeah. And he's clearly insanely talented. But here we are. So he's doing some dinner theater in Scottsdale, Arizona.
00:36:12
And while he's there, he moves into the Windfield Place Apartments. That's the Oakwood of Scottsdale.
00:36:19
I would think. Dude, the Oakwood's in the fucking Michael Jackson documentary, by the way.
00:36:22
Is it really? If you're in L.A., you know what we're talking about. Otherwise, let's move on.
00:36:27
Otherwise, look it up. Okay. So on June 28, 1978, Bob fails to show up for a lunch meeting.
00:36:35
So one of his cast members from Beginner's Luck comes over to see, to his apartment to check on him.
00:36:41
And it's a woman. And she goes into the apartment and finds Bob's dead body with an electrical cord tied around his neck.
00:36:51
And he's been bludgeoned to death. Jesus with something. Police are called, obviously.
00:36:58
Obviously. No, doy. You can tell I'm reading. I'm so bad. The reading voice is so different.
00:37:06
No, you're doing great. So the police get there. They theorize that Bob has been bludgeoned to death with a camera tripod, but it's never proven.
00:37:15
But that's just what they believe. Do they make that up or there was like a bloody tripod in the room?
00:37:21
There's no reason. They just made it. No, it's because of the other stuff they find in the apartment.
00:37:26
Ooh. So, yeah. It's very telling. Right? And then remember the other thing I told you about the other girlfriend in the pictures?
00:37:33
Making photos! Okay. Tasteful nudes. Right? They searched Bob's home for clues, but at the time, the Scottsdale Police Department was really small and had no established homicide unit.
00:37:44
So, they weren't equipped to handle a murder investigation. You know what I'm going to say?
00:37:49
What? Well, there hasn't been a murder around here. It's 25 years, which someone pointed out is a very short amount of time.
00:37:56
Oh, yeah, we know that now. Yeah, it feels long. Yeah, I'm saying it in an old voice, but it's actually a very...
00:38:04
You're a minor. It's recent. You're a pioneer from, what is it, 1993. Yeah. Did I get that right?
00:38:13
I think you did. No. Math. Go on. I don't even know how to... I wouldn't know how to put that math together.
00:38:20
Well, I only know that because I was born in 1980. So it's a nice even number to be like, oh, I'm 38 now because it's 2019, isn't it?
00:38:31
Wow. Okay. Math time. Go on. And now math time's over. Literally, when I sat here trying to do that math, I just saw a big nine and a big three.
00:38:39
And then that's all I could. There was no actual help. Me neither. Okay. So here I am on this page.
00:38:47
so the the search of this apartment yields almost no evidence except because there's no sign of
00:38:54
forced entry um no valuables have been stolen um but the police do find and it's extensive
00:39:01
collection of homemade videotapes oh 1973 so this is is that film or video cassettes it's girl it's
00:39:10
practically real to real 78 like i remember when my friend janet nielsen's parents got the first
00:39:17
vcr jesus in 78 in it was even earlier than that i think it's like they were they were they were
00:39:25
fucking hooked up in 85 when we wanted to run a fucking movie we had to rent a vcr too we did
00:39:30
that too at the grocery at the grocery store at the video store across the street yes my sister
00:39:34
i very often would rent the vcr and we'd rent the best of brian adams video compilation oh
00:39:41
anything you do I do it I won't do it he had a great video for Run To You where it was just him
00:39:50
playing the guitar with a bunch of leaves being blown all around him sure what's more romantic
00:39:54
come on I'm gonna run to you leaves leaves leaves it's like mimics running with blowing
00:40:01
but he doesn't have to move no he could just stay there and play the guitar right
00:40:04
God please guys I meant to say not God please go ahead And rent the best of Brian Adams video.
00:40:12
And rent a VCR while you're there. Have the experience. This is what it was like.
00:40:17
You know what? You'd probably, I bet these days people would have to rent a VCR because they're now completely
00:40:21
cycled out. Fucking A. The future and the past coming together. Here's what I'm talking about.
00:40:27
Okay, keep going. Let's not listen to ourselves. So essentially they come upon all these home videos and they're like, what the fuck?
00:40:34
They take them all into evidence and they take them down to the station to review them.
00:40:42
And that is where they find that Bob Crane has videotaped a whole host of sexual activity between himself and women.
00:40:52
He's a pornographer. He's a self-pornographer. A hometown pornographer. That's our new episode.
00:41:01
Maybe episode is hometown pornographer. Hometown pornographer. We might be biting a couple of their podcast ideas right here, but let's just see how it goes.
00:41:09
There's another man featured in some of these recordings, and they eventually identify that man as someone named John Henry Carpenter.
00:41:17
So John Carpenter was a regional sales manager for Sony Electronics in Los Angeles, and he was an expert in video equipment and video recording.
00:41:26
And part of his job was helping customers learn how to use the video recording equipment.
00:41:33
so one such customer was a single one bob crane um so it turns out they frequently went drinking
00:41:42
together and while they were out at bars bob crane's celebrity it's like look hogan from hogan's
00:41:48
heroes is here and that would enable them to pick up on women um they would bring them back to
00:41:54
wherever they were staying at the time and then record themselves having sex with these women Now later on Bob son from his first marriage Robert would say that all these women consented
00:42:07
It was what they also were into. And that's why the tapes got made. But when police went and interviewed these women, they found their identities.
00:42:15
A lot of them had no idea that they had been filmed. So it was a bit of a creepy situation, even just to begin with.
00:42:23
and it turned out that the whole scheme was because bob crane was was a rampant sex addict
00:42:31
and everybody that he had worked with in the business kind of knew it yeah and a lot of them
00:42:39
tried to distance themselves from him when when they experienced it in whatever way they did
00:42:44
so that was part of the reason his acting career dwindled the way it did right okay all right let's
00:42:51
not become sex addicts i mean let's do our best but then when the pressures mount you got to go
00:42:56
somewhere you got to take that pressure away somehow and like me here's me over here with
00:43:01
my coconut macaroons going what am i going to do with this pressure well that's just coconut
00:43:05
macaroons or what they're not working they don't work and neither does yoga i'm sorry
00:43:11
um tantric yoga when you film it uh so yeah this was bob's addiction okay Um, and the, his reliance on sex, um, and the illicit pursuits became more frequent as his career was dwindling.
00:43:30
Sure. Which makes fulfillment. We all need it. Everybody needs it. Especially when we're not getting it elsewhere.
00:43:35
When, and things used to, you used to get tons of fulfillment. That's the, that's the other thing is that experience of fame where you, the popularity is like you, it's, you think it's permanent and unceasing.
00:43:46
the removal of that and the the emptiness that leaves behind yeah people are going to go to any
00:43:53
addiction you have it would have if it was alcohol he would have fucking drank too much if it was
00:43:56
drugs it was gambling whatever how about shopping and just buying the same tiny shirt over and over
00:44:01
in a bunch of different colors that's what i used to do when i took my diet pills and if eating was
00:44:06
no longer on the table because it just they'd cut that part of my brain off miraculously then i was
00:44:12
just like i have to go to club monaco and that's all i did so bob actually it was a problem to the
00:44:18
point where bob actually met with a therapist and had been talking about and coming to terms with
00:44:23
the fact that he did indeed have this problem with sexual addiction um and he had plans to meet with
00:44:30
a psychologist who specialized in sex addiction in los angeles when beginners luck ended the run
00:44:36
but never got a chance to do that. So the police figure out that John Carpenter had flown to Arizona
00:44:44
to visit with Bob for a few days on June 25th, 1978. So he was out there and around.
00:44:51
And when they inspect the rental car that John Carpenter had used during his visit,
00:44:57
they find blood smears inside the vehicle. The blood matches Bob Crane's blood type,
00:45:02
but of course this is way before DNA testing. so the blood type match isn't strong enough to bring charges against Carpenter and the case goes
00:45:10
cold. They just taste it and they're like it tastes kind of like that was DNA testing back then.
00:45:15
Let's get the tasting scientist in here. Yeah no nothing nothing. So 12 years later in 1990
00:45:21
Scottsdale detective Jim Rains who had already been a homicide investigator in Phoenix so it was
00:45:27
like finally you know they were building up their homicide department I would imagine. I took I'm
00:45:32
assuming that because of one sentence that is in the research. I think you're right. Let's write,
00:45:36
let's write a whole movie about it. Okay. How Scottsdale, you know what? They're turning their
00:45:41
homicide department around. Up and coming. So Jim Raines is there to kick some ass and he starts
00:45:48
reexamining the little evidence that they do have in the Bob Crane murder case. And he discovers
00:45:53
photographic evidence of the presence of brain tissue in the rental car. So when they were
00:45:59
looking for the evidence in the rental car they also took pictures which is very smart and good
00:46:03
yeah because that's the one thing so um there was no way that they could extract that evidence
00:46:09
being that it was like over a decade after just looking at it they couldn't be like that's not
00:46:13
chewing gum that's brain matter no they could okay but but it wasn't like they could go back
00:46:18
to the car and prove it okay but it was uh the photo evidence was significant enough okay that
00:46:25
a judge deemed it as admissible evidence. And in June, June of 1992, John Carpenter is arrested
00:46:31
and charged with Bob Crane's murder. So in 1994, the trial begins, and Bob's son, Robert, testifies
00:46:40
that Bob had wasn't they weren't getting along anymore, that Bob Crane thought of Carpenter as
00:46:46
a nuisance and a hanger on, and he no longer wanted Carpenter in his life. And according to
00:46:53
Robert the son the night before his murder, Bob Crane allegedly called Carpenter to end their
00:46:58
relationship. And you have to figure if you're doing something like creepy like that, if you're
00:47:05
not completely good with the situation, the person that's kind of aiding and abetting you in that
00:47:11
situation, you're going to want to turn on them at some point. Because it's like, I don't want to
00:47:16
do this anymore. It's your fault. We're doing right or, you know, or go find someone else to
00:47:20
do it with when this guy knows he's not going to find anyone else to do it with no he's fucking
00:47:23
pissed and that guy has so much power over him being that they're kind of in this collaboration
00:47:29
of filthiness together that's my collaboration of filthiness please we're naming the episode
00:47:36
that's what this podcast is that truly is okay so according to uh i said that right
00:47:42
carpenter's defense quickly bats down all of these accusations from robert the son and then
00:47:48
they bring in witnesses who saw Bob and John Carpenter having dinner at a nearby restaurant
00:47:53
the night before the murder. And they all attest to that they were getting along very
00:47:57
well. Wait, so they were having dinner the night before, but no, they weren't. They're like friendly.
00:48:01
So he didn't smash him over the head later. That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life.
00:48:04
Especially when if you've lived in LA for any period of time, you will sit happily at dinner across from your worst enemy.
00:48:12
Yeah. It means nothing that they were getting along. The fact that he was in fucking Scottsdale, Arizona,
00:48:18
and he ended up dead the next morning is more important than that they were casually smiling and eating fucking, what, chicken parmesan?
00:48:24
I don't know. What did they serve in Scottsdale? We're going to hear about it. Okay.
00:48:30
No, that I meant people are going to write in. Oh, okay. Tell me what he ate. Well, Clams Casino.
00:48:37
Oh, shit. Oh, have you ever had clams in Scottsdale? They are fresh and delicious.
00:48:43
Okay, so John Carpenter's attorneys also note that the tripod, the camera tripod murder weapon was pure speculation, that it was never found or proven to be true.
00:48:55
And that was really what was linking like in everyone's mind. It's like, if this is the weapon, then the guy that knows the most about these is the murderer.
00:49:03
He can still touch a baseball bat, right? He can touch anything. And when it came to the evidence that they did have, the Scottsdale police had mishandled or even lost enough of it so that it was basically the defense was saying, yeah, this you guys don't even really know what you're doing.
00:49:21
So you certainly can't put a case together against my client. um what if you had a lawyer that talked like that but defending you against murder bro uh
00:49:30
you don't have a case against your client i mean my client anyone's client in court they're like
00:49:38
your client my client it's your honor it's my client the defense also argues that there are so
00:49:45
many potential suspects that haven't been looked at which is very true including the women in the
00:49:51
video whose motive could be murder because they could have been blackmailed or they could want to
00:49:57
be blackmailing Bob Crane and John Carpenter. Family members or friends of the women who were
00:50:03
recorded who would want to defend their honor. There was actually even another actor who swore
00:50:09
revenge after a violent argument with Crane several months before the murder took place.
00:50:14
so and his name was was it conan o'brien that was conan o'brien who was in he was only 12 when he
00:50:23
was in beginner's lap in scottdale i will kill you i will kill you and frame your friend okay
00:50:31
so then i should put my thumb near where the last thing i read before we start laughing about things
00:50:38
okay so with so much reasonable doubt surrounding the case john carpenter was acquitted and he
00:50:44
He maintained his innocence. Yeah, they didn't get him. Fuck. He's acquitted, and he said he was innocent until he died a few years later in 1998.
00:50:52
Shit. Yeah. So with the case still unsolved, Bob's son, Robert, starts to speculate that there's a
00:50:59
chance Bob's second wife, Patricia Olsen, may have had something to do with the murder
00:51:03
because she was the one that stood to inherit Bob's entire estate. You mean his apartment in fucking Scottsdale?
00:51:10
His divorced dad apartment? Sorry, have you seen a divorced dad's apartment? it they're fucking depressing she's like i'll kill for that fucking shag car i need beige
00:51:18
everywhere she's like i need a bunch of real to real videos of other women fucking my husband
00:51:24
that's what i'm looking for um patricia did get his entire estate there was nothing left for bob's
00:51:30
first wife or any of his three children that shit yeah so um also in the early 2000s the fascination
00:51:37
about this murder and the secret life surrounding Bob Crane resurged, and Patricia Olsen began speaking more openly about their life together.
00:51:48
And she said that she knew that Bob had a persistent sex addiction, that she didn't mind.
00:51:54
To her it was just an obsession he had, and she thought there was no use in being jealous of an obsession he couldn't control.
00:52:00
And after her own death in 2007, Patricia was buried next to Bob Crane, in the Westwood Village Memorial Park in Westwood neighborhood of Los Angeles.
00:52:13
So in 2001, Bob's son, from his second marriage, launched a website called bobcrane.com
00:52:21
where visitors could pay to see some of Bob Crane's sex tapes and photographs. Apparently the website doesn't exist anymore,
00:52:30
but that was something his own family member set up. Oh, the 2001s. Yeah. They were fucked up time for computers.
00:52:38
They were. Well, it was like anything goes. Yeah. And you wonder, like, obviously, like you said, he didn't have much of an estate.
00:52:45
Yeah. Because this is this is from the family that got money from the estate. Yeah.
00:52:49
And they're setting that up. In 2002, the film Autofocus starring Greg Kinnear. So good.
00:52:56
Which is based on Greg Kinnear as Bob Crane is released. it's so perfect because Greg Kinnear
00:53:04
which is when you said he'd be a great Ted Bundy because he is so friendly and sweet yes he's not some
00:53:09
creepy dude making videos no yeah it's a really good movie it's the and it really was when that whole story came out
00:53:15
that that's how Bob Crane died and that was what his secret was yeah it really was shocking yeah and it's that thing of
00:53:21
the face how could a person with a face like that do a thing like that yeah don't trust anyone right
00:53:27
and certainly don't base your trust on face facial features Sure. I can't help I have a perfect nose.
00:53:35
It doesn't mean you should give me your car keys. Look, Mimi's resting bitch face does not tell of who she is as a person cat.
00:53:42
No, all of us with resting bitch face actually have big sensitive hearts that we're just trying to keep you away from for our own safety.
00:53:49
Mimi included. Oh, Mimi. Poor Mimi. I have resting friendly face when really I just want everyone to leave me alone.
00:53:54
Is that weird Is that a thing You have a really good what I would say is friendly resting friendly frozen face where you stare at people with your smile but you you can see in your eyes
00:54:05
that you're like, what the fuck is this? Really? That's my favorite look when you get it.
00:54:09
Is it this one? Yes. Oh my God. It's just like, when are you going to shut up? Yes, exactly.
00:54:14
Oh my God. I have cultivated it. Because nobody's ever offended. It doesn't, it doesn't make anything negative happen. And the only person who knows it is someone who knows me
00:54:21
really well because I'll put my claws into your arm under the table and be like get me out of this
00:54:27
conversation and every once in a while your head will be cocked one way or the other where I'm like
00:54:31
oh she doesn't actually like this at all it's taken me forever to figure it out because of
00:54:35
course I'm resting bitch face and then I'll also be bitchy for no reason I enjoy it I think it's
00:54:41
funny so I don't know how to read the this more subtle things also when you watch you can watch
00:54:48
any emotion pass through my face. Oh, yeah. It's like a it's like clear glass where it's just like,
00:54:53
oh, no, I hate that. Oh, no, that's fine. I just I don't know how to mask it at all.
00:54:58
I love it. Working on it. I love it all. I'm working on my acting. Don't. I love talking about myself.
00:55:05
I love when you talk about me. It's perfect. This is what podcasting is all about.
00:55:11
OK, so that movie comes out. Bob's son, Scotty, the one who set up Bob Crane dot com.
00:55:17
he criticized the film for its inaccuracy. So he's saying Bob was never initially a church-going man
00:55:23
who then turned to a life of sexual addiction and deviance. He was actually a longtime sex addict.
00:55:29
And according to Scotty, the sex tapes Bob made dated back as early as 1956. Wow, vintage porn.
00:55:37
I mean, like, was he fucked? How did he do it? Like, go under the cloth, take the picture, run over to the bed?
00:55:43
How? Oh, vintage porn is the best porn. yeah filthy also the 50s porn that's a lot of like i'm gonna slowly take my girdle off well the
00:55:54
way you know and actually they show they did show this i may i don't it's been so long since i've
00:55:58
seen the movie but i was gonna say like the girls had to know it was being filmed because the recorder
00:56:03
was the loudest fucking machine in the entire world but they showed them putting music up really loud
00:56:08
oh that's covering the sound of it and i bet you they had a couple about eight or nine
00:56:12
they had about nine cocaine and they had a couple grasshoppers that combination some
00:56:19
rusty nails that's actually a cocktail right yes it is it is um yeah those old those old
00:56:27
not video camera but like a movie camera whatever high eight super eight cameras yeah it sounded like
00:56:34
a like a playing card in a bicycle wheel exactly it was like yeah that's all it was
00:56:42
Was that fun to listen to? Was that ASMR for anybody? Great. So then what happened?
00:56:51
What about Bob? I'll tell you. In 2015, Robert, Bob's son from his first marriage, wrote and released a book called Crane, colon, Sex, Celebrity, and My Father's Unsolved Murder.
00:57:02
in 2016 with DNA testing available. Reporter John Hook gets permission from Maricopa County
00:57:10
Attorney's Office to get the blood samples from the rental car tested. So he goes into the old evidence, gets it tested.
00:57:18
The tests basically prove inconclusive because one sample is determined to be from an unknown male,
00:57:24
and the second is too degraded to get conclusive results. I hate the word inconclusive. It makes me angry.
00:57:31
It's just so unsatisfying. Yeah. And that is the end. That's how unsatisfying the story is, because that's the still unsolved murder of Bob Crane.
00:57:41
Holy shit. Yes. And if you need, definitely if this interests you in any way, watch Autofocus, the movie Autofocus.
00:57:49
Another recommendation. Good one. Yeah. Thank you. That was a good pick. I'm mad.
00:57:54
Thank you. Good. Yeah. The ultimate compliment. I'm mad that you felt that I didn't think of that one sooner.
00:57:58
So it wasn't you and I talking. Absolutely not. God damn it. You're off the list.
00:58:02
I'm mad at all my friends. Every time we're hanging out, I'm like, give me a murder to do.
00:58:06
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at Madison Reed now it's your turn okay it's my turn now we hate murderers they fucking suck
01:00:45
that's true overall this one is particularly a douche bag okay so here we go this is the Dexter copycat killer.
01:00:54
Okay. You hear from me? I've, I've heard about this. Okay. We didn't do this, did we?
01:01:00
It was in a mini-sode. Okay. So we didn't do this, we didn't do this dude. We did it in a mini-sode.
01:01:04
I was going to do it at a live show when we were in Toronto. Toronto. Toronto. Toronto.
01:01:09
I did get that message. But it was 30 hours away from Toronto. So I did it. But here we go.
01:01:17
Meanwhile, I'm doing them that are like up in the Arctic Circle. never even thinking about it.
01:01:22
What do they want? Yeah. This guy sucks so fucking bad. Okay. Mark Twitchell is his name.
01:01:28
Sure. He's born in Edmonton, Canada on July 4th, 1979. Fourth of July. It means nothing.
01:01:35
It's in Canada. It's absolutely meaningless. They don't care. They don't know what you're talking about.
01:01:39
Right. He graduates from the radio and television program at the Northern Alberta
01:01:45
Institute of Technology. He fucking wants to be a filmmaker. He, okay, spent several years
01:01:50
living in the Midwest, goes back to Canada to pursue a career in filmmaking, which has
01:01:54
never been said before. Here come all the Edmonton filmmakers down your throat. That's fucking right.
01:02:02
He's obsessed with sci-fi, likes doing cosplay. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but this guy sucks particularly badly.
01:02:08
Okay. Dresses up, plays out scenes from his favorite movies called LARPing, right?
01:02:13
Yes. Live action role play. Fine. Oh, so he's, yeah, basically there's regular nerds who especially love a certain thing and want to delve all the way into it.
01:02:22
Yes. We relate. We are those nerds. Oh, absolutely. But then there's the nerds that do that, but then they also have a homicidal element to their personality.
01:02:32
Right. We don't like them. No. We'll go to your fucking, it's basically like doing a Civil War reenactment.
01:02:37
Yes. But a fucking Star Wars. That sounds way more fun than a Civil War reenactment.
01:02:42
Here's who he looks like. Picture Adam Devine. Great. The comedian for Workaholics.
01:02:47
Who could actually play my younger brother if necessary. Really? Adam Devine, don't you think?
01:02:52
I don't know. I've never thought about it. Take that part out. Leave it. Leave it.
01:02:59
Who's Paul Giamatti's younger brother? Is that? Okay. So it's Paul. Nope. Adam Devine.
01:03:05
Okay. But picture him in a homemade bumblebee costume from fucking Transformers or dressed up as Wolverine
01:03:12
with like, you know, fake sideburns at a bar. He's also, this is like, so this is the early 2000s.
01:03:20
So he's super into going online, looking for personal relationships, goes to like dating sites and shit,
01:03:26
chat rooms, remember those? No. We loved them so much. Yes, we did. The idea of being on that
01:03:33
and like just trying to randomly talk to anybody, I would never do that in a million years.
01:03:39
I did it constantly. Keep in mind, I was under 20 years old the entire time. time i did it that is a forensic files waiting to happen georgia 1313 was my my username oh shit
01:03:49
that just hit me i just remembered that like do you think that people were like hopefully she's 13
01:03:54
oh god i didn't even think about that i just was like what's a what's a scary number 13 great
01:04:00
oh man look and double down i didn't really get deep into it but i did go into a lot of straight
01:04:06
edge and fucking raver chat rooms well that you needed that information i did that was stuff like
01:04:12
guys where do we go pick up the egg that then inside has the directions to the warehouse right
01:04:16
isn't that raver life okay i was too old i was just like it was too old that's to me all of the
01:04:24
internet and when it started like that yeah and it was all my space and why aren't you my friend
01:04:29
on my space type of shit i was not on any of it and i would say to people all the time why don't
01:04:33
you just walk down melrose and ask people do you think i'm good looking because it's the same
01:04:37
fucking thing or smart or deep or anything or interesting i i'm 10 years younger than you so i
01:04:42
was deep into that shit yeah i had a fucking live journal from the very beginning yeah girl i love
01:04:48
that shit it's it was my home he also used like for his dating picture was a photo of darth maul
01:04:56
oh honey from this not just star wars but from the reboot which everyone knows is terrible
01:05:01
right don't get mad at me everyone okay i'm not wrong um or well can i just say he didn't use
01:05:10
jar jar banks and maybe that's the that's the number one douche oh you're oh no wait no you're
01:05:15
right because you're like well hold on hold okay yes correct well can i ask a question about this
01:05:22
though i might not be able to answer it okay i think you will okay was he shopping for ladies
01:05:26
or men on these dating sites? Ladies. Okay. He was super into ladies and somehow they were into him.
01:05:32
Well, because, you know why? Because they saw that picture of Darth Maul and they're like,
01:05:35
there he is. It's my dream man. Wait, is he Wolverine? He might be Wolverine. Can he transform?
01:05:41
Oh my God. The sideburns alone. Love, they loved it. So he calls himself a Renaissance man.
01:05:49
And then I wrote, we call him a chode. Wow. In 2000, he's 21. He meets a woman named Megan online they fucking fall in love and hit it off as only you could do in the early two thousands and fall in love It was the best love back then The best love Yeah I did it a couple times Yeah I totally fell for people online
01:06:06
She thinks he's charming and sweet and smart. And they're talking online for fucking months.
01:06:12
Totally fucking did it. And Megan, who lives in the States, flies to Edmonton to marry Mark Twitchell.
01:06:19
Wait. After a couple months of talking. Talking but not meeting in real life? I don't know if they had met.
01:06:24
but maybe it probably was for a long weekend if they had. Yeah. That's no, he's 21.
01:06:30
She's 20. They get married. She moves to Edmonton. Okay. From Colorado. Can I just say what I might always,
01:06:38
I have a feeling that Mary, maybe she floated a thing of like, I can't fuck you unless we're married.
01:06:46
No. She's like, if this guy, did you ever fall in love with a guy online? No. Yeah.
01:06:52
If you, this guy is who he's purporting to be online. Oh my God. And it hadn't been like outed yet that we,
01:06:58
that don't trust anyone online, which we all know now. Yes. But like this guy's amazing.
01:07:03
He checked all her boxes. Yeah. It was like, this was meant to be. Yes. Okay. Yeah.
01:07:08
They're like, well, we're in love. You're the person you say you are online. I'm going to get online.
01:07:13
Try it. I'm going to join my space. I don't care. I'm doing it. Get on there with me.
01:07:18
Let's all see. Start from the beginning. Go to make out club, which I did. yeah it's in our book actually okay um oh uh pick up our book um sometime in may we don't know when
01:07:29
we don't know uh okay so she gets married to him they stay married for four years but as soon as
01:07:34
she moves her she's like oh shit this isn't the guy i thought he was online huh really nobody knew
01:07:39
me i'm now the meanest older sister in the world oh really oh really deborah because you thought
01:07:44
you're gonna go to edmonton and everything was right yeah just because you spoke to him three
01:07:47
times on the phone and the fucking and you know there was fucking long distance charges back then
01:07:51
on the phone everyone you don't know there wasn't tweeting and i mean texting and she was like every
01:07:55
time she called him it was like 10 10 2 20 that's right you all these know what we're talking about
01:08:02
uh she realized he's a compulsive liar and that he's cheating on her constantly which is just who
01:08:07
he was he was a fucking sociopathic narcissistic piece of shit liar wow just a guy who thinks he's
01:08:13
smarter than everyone and very bright and but yet has but sucks and has huge blind spot darth maul
01:08:20
Okay. He's a real Darth Maul. Yeah. A Canadian one at that. Right. So, yet, less than a year after their relationship ends, he remarries in 2005 to another woman
01:08:30
he's met online. They fucking have a baby. And this creep, Mark Twitchell, starts, he gains a small following among sci-fi fans
01:08:40
because he's, like, cool to them when he directs a movie that he makes using green screen
01:08:46
called Star Wars, Secrets of the Rebellion. Oh, he makes his own Star Wars movie?
01:08:51
He makes his own Star Wars movie using mostly green screen and that doesn't have the money to have someone do the actual work to make it real.
01:08:58
Right. Also, you can't make money on someone else's idea. So he would have just immediately been sued.
01:09:03
George Lucas would have had him for dinner. But he was so cocky that he was like, I'm going to make this and this is what's going to get me work.
01:09:10
Like, they're going to see how great I am. And he's just this cocky mean. Everyone who worked on the film was like, he was such a fucking asshole.
01:09:15
We hated him. Yeah. And the movie has a short cameo by the dude who plays Boba Fett in the Star Wars movie, which I was listening to this episode from last podcast on the left.
01:09:28
And they're like, well, he's wearing a mask. So who the fuck even you don't need.
01:09:32
I was going to say, is it the actor? Either way, it doesn't matter. That's unprovable.
01:09:38
Right. So then he also starts working after that. He does that. He's like, this is going to make me famous.
01:09:43
Then he starts working on a script for a comedy that he calls Day Players, which is essentially Extras.
01:09:51
Oh, OK. By our friend Ricky Gervais. Thank you. Which is just about Extras. He's not our friend, by the way.
01:09:57
I know. He's a Siamese cat. We don't know him. OK, so he starts making this fucking stupid show.
01:10:05
There's a trailer for it online that's basically every dude you've ever dated in improv.
01:10:10
if they made a fucking short with like their video camera from 2007. No, thank you.
01:10:16
And like Rift. And then we're like, this is the best part. Let's put it in the trailer.
01:10:20
And you had to be like, oh, my God, baby, it's so I'm sorry. I'm talking from experience.
01:10:24
No, baby, it's so funny. You're the best one, though. I mean, it's so good. And you're so fun.
01:10:29
How do you think of stuff that quickly? Can I just right now quote my friend Derek Riddle,
01:10:35
who is an incredible, incredibly talented Scottish actor who was on the book group with me,
01:10:40
one of the funniest people I've ever met, but an amazing actor. And you've actually seen him in a ton of stuff.
01:10:45
I can't think off hand. But one time was we were being driven to set. It was me and Derek Riddle was in the front seat,
01:10:52
Jimmy Lance and one other person. And those guys were talking and they were just riffing endlessly.
01:10:58
And it was just this kind of nonsensical conversation that they were riffing through.
01:11:02
And from the front seat, I'm not going to be able to do the Scottish accent correctly,
01:11:06
but Derek just goes, Jesus somebody block somebody run through this motherfucking thing and end
01:11:15
this shit ruin this somebody know but this improv improvisation it does make you
01:11:21
it does make you appreciate really fucking good improv when you see it after you've seen
01:11:26
so many exes bad improv I'm sorry there's a lot about everything out there is the majority of
01:11:35
Most things are bad, but you don't have to date a person who's doing it. And like a lot of bad things that you don't have to go to their performance of.
01:11:41
Like someone's bad at painting. You don't have to sit and watch them paint for two and a half hours.
01:11:46
And get drunk at, okay, at IO. Listen. Okay. So he's a fucking lying liar who lies.
01:11:55
He quits his job, doesn't tell his wife, does the fucking thing of, I'm going to work now.
01:11:59
Goodbye. Goodbye. Which is like such a fucking sociopathic thing to do. But also.
01:12:03
Oh, you get it? It's my favorite. There's something about it that fills me. I become enthralled.
01:12:08
It's very similar to Mardi Gras just started. And one of it's, I believe it's the Skin and Bones crew.
01:12:16
But they started their party at 5 a.m. And when I saw the video on Twitter, it was almost like I was going to float up off the couch.
01:12:23
The idea of getting up at 5 a.m. to drink and party and do drums in the street and hang out is like my dream.
01:12:32
You know who else does that is people who are into football, which is a soccer overseas.
01:12:37
Yeah. And they'll do that. And I'm like, damn, I wish I could watch that. I wish I cared.
01:12:41
Yeah. Set your alarm and get up. And you're like, well, I have to drink because over there it's after five.
01:12:46
But I just any anything like that. And and then also this idea that maybe you fucked up.
01:12:51
Maybe you fucked up so bad. You can't tell anyone. So then you're putting all this energy into tricking people into believing you didn't fuck up.
01:13:01
Yeah. But that just shows what a lot like that you I mean, once you get to that place where you can't lie because you've already lied so many fucking or you have to like, you've like.
01:13:11
No, it's I know. I'm just remembering in college, after I flunked out of college, between the time I told my parents and didn't, I would get up every day and run to the mailbox to make sure they didn't get my report card before me.
01:13:24
And after I broke the news, whatever, my dad goes, yeah, your little mailbox trip didn't work either.
01:13:29
Of course, it's like I've never cared about mail in my life. And suddenly I'm getting up and running to the mailbox every day where it's just like your parents know, they know what you're doing.
01:13:39
I think you're stupid. Everybody knows. quits his job. But he still goes out on Friday nights, pretending he has a job. He has he rents
01:13:48
a garage in Edmonton Southside, which apparently was a bad neighborhood. He there was like a literal
01:13:54
garage that he rented from a couple who didn't speak English. So he's like, great, they won't be
01:13:58
able to tell anyone anything. Oh, yeah, that's what he does. And he also starts telling he's
01:14:03
trying to get investors in what he's calling his A list movie, big budget movie that he's going to
01:14:09
make that has a-list stars that's already have already signed on to the movie and he's like a
01:14:13
great bullshitter like uh boba fett will be there and of course darth maul is gonna make
01:14:18
yes he fucking talks about alec baldwin being in part like he's just like he's lying and he's
01:14:23
really good at it like a lot of sociopaths are yeah and so people kind of believe him and he
01:14:27
ends up getting like 90 grand to fucking make this movie that's a lot of money a lot of fucking
01:14:32
money yeah he's it's the sociopath or whatever psychopath right where they're the charisma
01:14:38
floats it. And I know a lot of us are like, wait, he can get a wife and fucking all this money.
01:14:43
Two wives. But he's a liar. But it's like, well, you have to have follow through. Like,
01:14:47
if he had put as much effort and fucking time into like what he actually did as he did selling
01:14:51
his bullshit, including to like selling it to these women that he's not a piece of shit. Yeah.
01:14:56
Maybe this would have been fine. Just how about just don't be a piece of shit a little bit. Right.
01:15:01
If that's a choice. Give it a shot. We don't know. Sometimes it's not a choice. Yeah. Try
01:15:06
Go to therapy. Okay. So he also spends a lot of time on the internet where he creates fake accounts and he and fake identities and catfishes the shit out of people.
01:15:17
Sorry, I'm just thinking of every Star Wars character he's pretending to be on the internet.
01:15:22
Boba Fett. Name, too. I can't. It's me. R2-D2. Great. Date me. I'm a robot. There you go.
01:15:28
And around this time, he starts to become obsessed with the show Dexter. Yeah. which I've never seen a single fucking episode of.
01:15:36
It was good. Yeah? Yes. Okay. Yeah, it was really good because it was like a procedural,
01:15:41
but then it was also like Silence of the Lambs. And there was a slightly comic element,
01:15:46
and that actor who plays Dexter that we've talked about a lot on the show. I love him so much.
01:15:51
I, of course, can't remember his name. I went to his house once. That's right, and he was in that series that we loved.
01:15:56
Remember when he had that accent? Yes, the British one. What type of thing? Something, Michael, something.
01:16:01
Michael Seahawks. Michael Seahawks. Ah, he is so good. He's so good and great to watch.
01:16:05
Yes. Also, John Lithgow was on Dexter. Like, it was great. I didn't watch it out of any kind of, I didn't watch TV.
01:16:11
I couldn't afford TV at the time. And I had a desk job and I couldn't illegally download it to my work computer.
01:16:17
That's the only reason I never watched it. If only there was some kind of a, like a Russian hub you could have linked through.
01:16:23
I tried. I tried once and it was like a little bit, like, fucked up. And I was like, well, I can get through this with like a little bit of a fucked up screen.
01:16:31
And then I was like, I have a headache now. So I just stopped trying. That was the last time I tried.
01:16:35
Do you know that I couldn't remember my HBO Go password? So this last season of The Sopranos, I just bought it.
01:16:41
And I told that to my friend Molly. And she was like, you fucking idiot. It's for free.
01:16:48
Because I was like, I just bought it. She's like, it's free. Just sitting there.
01:16:52
Yeah. I can't figure it out. Yeah. Solve your own problems. Can't. Like my therapist used to say, Kim, throw money at the problem.
01:16:59
Yeah. That's what I did. Yeah. I just bought it. Yeah. great goodbye goodbye um okay okay so he of course if everyone who doesn't know dexter morgan
01:17:11
it's this tv show about a forensic blood spatter analyst by day and a serial killer by night he
01:17:15
kills other serial killers right yes great premise we love it very satisfying very satisfying it's
01:17:20
like finally it's a good psychopath child molester stew everyone everybody great that's the whole
01:17:26
arc of it was the all the different kinds of bad guys and he worked in the police department love
01:17:30
But yeah, so he watches all episodes, probably a lot of episodes. Yeah. I don't know how many there are in four days.
01:17:37
Well, what? Yeah. So he like does the fucking crazy person thing. He binged it. Wait, am I a crazy person?
01:17:41
That's all I do. Well, no. Yes and no. No. Because you don't then go, well, now I'm going to go kill people.
01:17:48
Oh, true. Right. Thank you. So he creates a Dexter Morgan persona on his Facebook page.
01:17:53
He pretends that he Dexter Morgan He actually gets a kind of following of fans and like communicates with them And he he like post the thing that like you know Mark Twitchell is like way way too similar to fucking Dexter Morgan and like creepy shit like that where it like calm down dude
01:18:11
So so he's living on his investment investment money from the movie he was going to make.
01:18:16
And then that movie is called he he creates this new movie called House of Cards before before all of it for House of Cards.
01:18:25
it's the canadian house of cards so it's the house of cards yeah house of cards i'm stealing that from vince and jesse pop and our friend from canada who's so funny uh casey
01:18:41
corbin yes okay we just i just got to meet yeah and our really funny shows hilarious comedian
01:18:47
in canada okay so it's an eight minute slasher fix flick that he makes about uh cheating so
01:18:54
basically he's Dexter but he's like I'm going to change this slightly because I don't want to get sued and it's he's
01:19:00
he kills cheating husbands instead okay he fucking makes fake profiles of women on these
01:19:06
dating sites finds and catches cheating husbands kills them seems a bit extreme yeah it's like
01:19:12
just to have a divorce yeah exactly Dexter's killing serial killers right and also very good thing this
01:19:18
motherfucker cheats on his wife all the time so like let's not self-loathing Let's not be a hypocrite.
01:19:23
Can you not? So he writes this bullshit fucking movie, and the character tases and abducts these people wearing a hockey mask.
01:19:36
And he tapes them to a chair, gets all their information, cleans out their bank account,
01:19:42
and in the end runs them through with a samurai sword and hacks up the body parts.
01:19:48
Good God. But can I just say that Dexter never stole money from people? Right. From what I remember.
01:19:52
Like he had a job. There was no financial gain. It was all purely like this is for the good of the people.
01:19:58
He also probably didn't own a samurai sword, which is like if you were dating a guy and
01:20:03
you went over to his house and you had a fucking samurai sword. I'd be like, oh, I have to check my car.
01:20:07
Really? Right. The last word wouldn't be on the sense. No. If you own a samurai sword and an iguana, get the fuck out of there.
01:20:15
Or? Both. I'm not saying one of the other. Right. especially if the iguana is on your shoulder holding a samurai sword and you have a goatee
01:20:23
and the iguana has a goatee get out of there we are making enemies left right and center on this episode and i'm only two pages
01:20:33
into this fucking story okay all right here we go uh so shortly after he shot this fucking stupid
01:20:40
movie in his garage. A dude named John, who goes by Johnny Altinger, has a date with a woman he
01:20:48
met online. We're cutting to over here. Okay. Johnny is tall and friendly. He's a 38 year old
01:20:54
oil field equipment engineer, whatever the fuck that means. He loves riding motorcycles. And he
01:21:01
is really close to his friends. So he tells his friends like, I'm going to meet this woman I met
01:21:10
Is that a Christian dating website? It sure is. Great. He's like, I'm so excited to meet her.
01:21:14
She seems super fucking cool. She won't give me her phone number. And one of his really smart friends was like, give me her address just in case.
01:21:20
That seems sketchy. Yes, I bet that was a woman. Yeah. Don't you think? Yeah. This guy has good friends.
01:21:28
So he sends her the directions and the address in Edmonton Southside where he's going to meet
01:21:35
his date, Jen, to pick her up for a date. Okay. And Jen's like, just go through the dark garage to the back patio, which is like, we always say to women, don't go to someone's house to meet them, meet them in a public place.
01:21:45
But like men, you don't think about that, you know? Right. And I think it's, it's rare that anything like this would happen.
01:21:52
Right. But all of us should just be cautious for the first couple days. Slightly cautious.
01:21:57
Just like, let's, let's meet on the sidewalk. Yeah. Let's make sure there's, it's at least a two to three lane highway that we're near and lots of public exposure.
01:22:05
It's the thing of like, I feel like a lot of, I wish I'd known earlier, like you're not a bitch if you don't trust someone you've never fucking met before.
01:22:12
Thank you. Let's shake on that one. Let's shake on that one. That's a handshake statement if I've ever heard one.
01:22:17
You're not a bitch if you don't trust someone you've never met before. Right, or don't know very well.
01:22:23
Right. I mean, and I'm talking six, eight months in. Yes. No, trust must be earned by esteemable acts and trustworthy acts.
01:22:32
Exactly. If there have been none, trust doesn't exist. Right. And you're not a fucking cunt because you're where you're.
01:22:38
Don't let them gaslight you into thinking what an untrusting person you are when you have ample reason not to trust someone.
01:22:44
And as an acting cunt, I would just like to tell the people that are afraid to be one actress.
01:22:49
I act like one that come on over to this side because if someone accuses you of that, it's really not that bad.
01:22:55
Right. Most of the time, that just means that you're asserting yourself and not doing whatever another person wants you to do.
01:23:01
Right. Which I don't recommend. I love it. I'm there with it. Yay. So Johnny, he goes to meet this woman.
01:23:11
And just after 7 o'clock, he sends a message to his friends saying he's arrived at this date.
01:23:16
And it's the last time anyone hears from Johnny. Realist. Really. Okay. It's Canadian Thanksgiving, which is a thing, in 2008.
01:23:26
Two days after Johnny had met with his date, Jen, when he misses a fucking much anticipated bike trip with like motorcycle bike trip with his friends.
01:23:36
And they're all like, that's not like him at all. He's super fucking punctual and reliable.
01:23:40
And then they get an email from John saying, quote, I met this extraordinary woman, Jen.
01:23:46
I'm going away with her to her summer home in Costa Rica. I'll call you at Christmas time.
01:23:51
In a month. Yeah. Okay. Well I assuming that Canadian Thanksgiving is around the time of American Thanksgiving You got to imagine it not in like fucking August right I would hope Yeah So yeah So they get like if you got a message from your friends like goodbye don contact
01:24:05
me. I'm going away. No. No. So his friends and family, of course, like, that's not fucking right.
01:24:10
And they start calling around. They get word when he doesn't show up for work. They call the police.
01:24:13
The police are like, wait it out. It's not a big deal. His friends are like, you don't know Johnny.
01:24:17
So they break into his apartment. Oh, good. Where they find his clothes, his suitcase, his passport, all that shit.
01:24:23
there's no signs that he left on a vacation. So the police are probably like, all right,
01:24:27
let's fucking look into this. I love those friends. I know. I love that they broke into his apartment.
01:24:32
That's that kind of thing too, where it's just like, you go kick that door down.
01:24:36
What's going to happen? They're going to arrest you. And if Johnny comes back from Costa Rica,
01:24:40
you can be like, what the fuck is wrong with you, dick? I'm not paying for your fucking door.
01:24:43
You need to call your friends and family. And if, but he would never do that because if he came back from Costa Rica
01:24:48
and was like, you guys, he would have been like, you love me so much. He kicked my door down to find that out.
01:24:53
Get hysterical sometimes. Get in there. Do it. Kick down doors. This detective, Bill Clark, is assigned to Johnny's case.
01:25:01
Johnny's been missing for nine days at this point. He follows the directions to the garage that he had given to his friend and contacts the person renting it,
01:25:11
our fucking aspiring filmmaker, Mark Twitchell, who's been shooting a movie there.
01:25:16
Twitchell's like, great, let's take a look. He's like super into like, everything's fine.
01:25:20
I'll show you around. Oh, the lock's been picked. I don't know what's going on. like someone must have been in here.
01:25:24
I haven't been in here since the 10th. They find a receipt inside from the 15th from Mark's fucking like,
01:25:29
he's, he just is not good at murder. He's not good. And he thinks he's great. He thinks he's really fucking smart.
01:25:34
And he's truly one of the worst. You've like most incompetent fucking people you've ever seen,
01:25:40
but he thinks he's smart. So, um, he asked questions like he's concerned. Um, and they don't consider him a suspect at all.
01:25:48
And they start questioning people around the neighborhood. They find a couple who said that they saw and they witnessed an attack a couple weeks back.
01:25:55
They say they that someone came out of a garage, running out of a garage and trying to get help.
01:26:05
And they freaked out and ran and someone was like chasing him. And they're like, it happened this time.
01:26:09
But but the cops are like, that's weird. It happened a week before Johnny's date.
01:26:14
So what the fuck are they talking about? No. So they go public with hopes of finding info.
01:26:21
And that's when this dude fucking guiles Jill Tetra. So this dude is a 33 year old contractor.
01:26:29
He had been separated from his wife. He had joined Plenty of Fish at that time. And he has a fucking story to tell that he hadn't come forward with.
01:26:37
So Friday, October 3rd, a week before Johnny had gone on his date, he goes to Edmondson
01:26:43
Southside to meet a woman he had been chatting with on Plenty of Fish. fish. Sheena is an attractive woman, seems really anxious to meet him. She's smart. She's articulate.
01:26:53
They've been flirting. She suggests dinner and a movie and they're going to go meet up at her house.
01:27:00
A few minutes past seven o'clock, he arrives, parks outside an open garage, goes into the garage.
01:27:05
It's too dark to see when someone starts attacking him and fucking uses a stun gun on him.
01:27:10
he uh gets shocked and he turns to see a man towering over him with a hockey mask on oh my god
01:27:18
the guy in the mask pulls out a gun and points it at him and uh so this tetro uh is like oh shit
01:27:26
this isn't my date and he forgot to tell anyone where he was going to be and he's like oh shit
01:27:31
i'm dead the masked man pushes him to the ground covers his eyes with duct tape and tetro rips the
01:27:37
duct tape from his eyes and jumps to his feet and later he says quote i decided i better fight back
01:27:42
i'd rather uh i'd rather die my way than his way yes and spoiler alert i know this because he later
01:27:48
writes a book called the one who got away escape from the kill room whoa yeah so this guy uh he
01:27:57
reaches to wrestle the gun out of this dude's hand he fucking finds like when he touches it
01:28:01
he realized it's a plastic fucking fake gun. And they start fucking brawling. And Tetra drops to the ground.
01:28:09
Fucking Indiana Jones rolls out under the garage door. Yes. Fucking gets out onto the street.
01:28:15
Throw me the idol. I'll throw you the whip. Yes. He tries to run when he gets out there,
01:28:21
but his legs aren't working because of the fucking stun gun. He's crawling down the unpaved gravel driveway.
01:28:26
And fucking Mark Twitchell comes after him, grabs his fucking legs and starts pulling him into the garage it's saw it's the movie saw yeah
01:28:33
tetra looks up and sees a fucking couple out for a walk and he's like oh my god fucking help me i'm
01:28:39
getting robbed the couple freezes because they see this dude with duct tape and like getting
01:28:45
fucking dragged and the person who's dragging them has a hockey mask on dude like what would
01:28:49
you do yeah you'd be like what the fuck is this shit i would run toward that hockey mask fingers
01:28:55
out let me help you yeah right no they freaked out and they they ran away um but but the but mark
01:29:02
had run away at that moment too so they call 9-1-1 the cops get there and by the time they're
01:29:07
there everyone's gone okay but but fucking uh tetra was able to escape and he doesn't come
01:29:13
forward because he's afraid of being followed and attacked he thinks the person must know who he is
01:29:17
yeah he does know who he is he has all his information from that dating right and he can't
01:29:22
track him down on plenty of fish he's like this is fucked up and scary which sucks because we had
01:29:26
come forward maybe something but it makes perfect sense it's like you basically went then through
01:29:31
the most traumatic thing that's ever happened to you you feel like a stupid fucking idiot probably
01:29:35
a little bit well there's yeah there's a lot a lot involved there yeah but then he comes forward
01:29:41
when he finds out about this yeah so um days after mark twitchell's first interview he comes
01:29:48
back to the station and is like, oh, by the way, I meant to tell you guys this. I actually bought a new car from a dude who was selling his car on the street It happens to be a Mazda hatchback which is the same car that Johnny fucking drove Oh So he like it was so weird
01:30:06
This guy was selling his car on the street because he had met a really rich lady
01:30:10
who was going to buy him a new car when they got back from their vacation in Costa Rica.
01:30:14
Like just trying to fucking, like overdoing his bullshit. Yeah. And which is what liars do.
01:30:20
Yes. Saying he bought the car for $40. uh and that's yeah yeah so it's obviously stupid of course the cops are like oh shit this guy's a
01:30:29
fucking idiot yeah but they don't have any hard evidence on him so uh they he denies having anything
01:30:36
to do with it and uh but obviously he becomes their prime suspect they get warrants to search
01:30:41
his car and home and sees um a bunch of fucking dumb movie props and personal effects it's october
01:30:47
27th they find a computer with a deleted file in his trash bin so he didn't empty this trash but
01:30:54
also like you can't just throw incriminating evidence into your fucking computer trash can
01:30:58
and expect it to go away especially if you don't empty that that's right it's not how it works
01:31:03
empty the trash just kind of make it hard cops like are bored probably and they're like just
01:31:07
don't make this so easy for us yeah exactly so the opening so the file is called sk confessions
01:31:15
SK stands for serial killer. Oh, bro. So this fucking stupid idiot. The opening line reads, this story is based on true events.
01:31:25
The names and events were altered slightly to protect the guilty. This is a story of my progression into becoming a serial killer.
01:31:31
So he fucking details everything he does with slight variations and says it's a fucking script.
01:31:38
Wow. He's so stupid. The 40 page document includes diary like entries that detail his crimes.
01:31:45
And when Tetron reads the account of his attack through his words, he's like, it's reliving the event.
01:31:51
That's exactly what happened to me. Wow. And there's a gruesome step by step of how the murder happened on October 10th of Johnny.
01:32:01
So it's a cold blooded attack with a pipe and is followed by graphic details of dismemberment and where he hid the remains.
01:32:10
So he says exactly what he does coldly in his quote unquote script. Yeah. And they also realized that Mark Twitchell had fucking broken in to Johnny's apartment and fucking used his email, had gotten his fucking password and used his email to send people messages that he was fine.
01:32:28
But how creepy that was in his apartment. Yeah, that's sinister. um so now mark twichell now 33 is arrested on halloween of 2008 for the murder of johnny
01:32:39
um altinger and police confiscate knives saws and a cleaver that are stained with johnny's blood
01:32:46
and they discover his deleted confession but they still don't have a body fucking mark twichell refuses to cooperate and there's video of there's video of him in the back
01:32:55
seat of a fucking squad car being driven around for hours while the cops try to get him to talk
01:33:00
And he's just quiet and stone face, like a real video. It's so creepy. Nine months later, though, he gives police a map marking the location of the body, which was in a sewer drain.
01:33:12
It's so sad. So March 2011, Mark Trichel goes to trial for first degree murder. And he takes the stand.
01:33:21
He admits that he lured Tetro and Johnny to his garage, but he wasn't planning on hurting them.
01:33:28
He says he attacked the men as a prank to get publicity for the movie that he was making.
01:33:33
And he assumed that they would talk about their attacks and it would help promote his film.
01:33:38
And he said it went wrong when John got angry about the prank and started attacking Mark.
01:33:43
He said it was fucking self-defense. Bullshit. Clearly, because then after the fact, you're sending people emails and you have all kinds of plans and schemes.
01:33:54
And you write it as if it's true. He also claims that his writings aren't about the murder at all, but that SK doesn't stand for serial killer, but Stephen King, whatever.
01:34:04
He describes himself as a psychopath with little ability to feel empathy, but he's never diagnosed with any mental condition.
01:34:10
Of course, in the end, the fucking jury deliberates for five hours before finding him guilty of first degree murder.
01:34:17
He's sentenced to life in prison and is currently serving that without the possibility of parole for 25 years in Saskatchewan.
01:34:24
uh and penitentiary so then in i was doing some research and in an ironic twist fucking johnny
01:34:33
eltinger uh the victim he was also a bit of a nerd himself he had been obsessed with computers
01:34:39
since he was a kid and he got his first commodore 64 it's like he was a fucking total computer nerd
01:34:45
too and was like obsessed with this stuff the only difference was he was a fucking psychopath
01:34:48
asshole so this was like the good guy um he used his computer skills in the 90s to play text-based
01:34:55
fantasy role-playing games like legend of the red dragon using his dial-up modem and he even had the
01:35:01
alias uh ultra magnus which is a character from transformers as well so there's this weird
01:35:06
similarity between the two right except he wasn't a fucking piece of shit um johnny's friends and
01:35:12
family described him as quiet, affectionate and giving at his, you know, at the funeral.
01:35:20
But nobody said the same thing about Mark Twitchell in court. And that's the fucking
01:35:24
story of the Dexter copycat killer. Wow. Yeah, I feel like I've seen I've seen the whatever
01:35:31
American justice version of that. Yes. And it's so disturbing. Like that idea that you're arriving
01:35:37
somewhere thinking you're starting a date, like, the most pure reason, like date night energy,
01:35:42
and you get attacked by somebody in a fucking hockey mask. And this guy was 40. He was like really wanting to settle down.
01:35:48
He wanted love. And he met this. It was just like the most pure reason. Yeah. And that happens.
01:35:54
It's, it's heartbreaking and awful. It's horrible. Yeah. Yeah. That was good. That's fucked up.
01:35:59
So, uh, what you hear that rain whoa or roller coaster all right okay all right right it's fucking hooray time in the right time because of awfulness
01:36:17
uh do you want me to go first sure um i i'm pretty sure i've told you this but i have um
01:36:24
like in the last, I'd say month or two, I can't remember when I upped my therapy to twice a week.
01:36:30
Yeah. And did I talk about this already? No. Okay. You've mentioned it, but you haven't.
01:36:35
Right. It hasn't been like my, I haven't repeated it. I'm not doing repeat fucking
01:36:38
hoorays. Who gives a shit? My normal therapy session, it would always end and feel like it
01:36:42
just started. And I was like mid sob and going, Oh, okay, bye. And I hate that feeling. And after
01:36:49
a while, my therapist, Michelle was just like, do you want to add another day? So we don't feel
01:36:54
so constricted by this because it's just 50 minutes. It's 50 minutes. It goes by quick and you can see your fucking therapist glancing at their, what they think
01:37:01
is their hidden fucking clock. Yes. Which is not. We see your eyes. Yes. And there's kind of no, to me, no worse feeling in the world that I'm, when I'm mid rant and
01:37:09
my therapist sits forward in her chair just a tiny bit because she gives me all these indications
01:37:14
like time is running out. Well, now they do this thing that's new where they fucking, they, they're listening to you
01:37:18
and then they take their fucking, what's the card swipe machine and they put it in their
01:37:21
phone. Oh, mine does that. No. Oh, that is like they're continuing to talk about whatever you're talking about.
01:37:27
And then they plug in their fucking chip reader. That's hilarious. That's like in comedy clubs when they start dropping the checks while you're in the final
01:37:34
20 minutes of your act. Jesus Christ. It's a bad feeling. So basically, she said she was suggested another day.
01:37:40
And I was like, yes, that's a great idea. So I go two days a week, one right after the other.
01:37:46
And so anything we talk about on Tuesday, we follow up with on Wednesday. And there's something about it.
01:37:53
It's helping me so much in terms because like I will say something and then she'll go, no, actually.
01:38:00
And and basically be able to be real time kind of course correcting me in my thought process.
01:38:06
So like I already talked about, like when she was like, write down five things that make you happy.
01:38:11
It's almost like a meta version of that where she's like, I know what you mean, but actually you've told me this in the past and this is really what's going on.
01:38:19
So frustrating when you do that to yourself. I know where she, you know, because there's, you know, the more stress or the like the feelings that we deal with these days that are that everything feels big and there feels like a lot of threat or what if we lose?
01:38:35
Yes, the stakes are very high. She comes in and goes, I just would like to remind you very quickly.
01:38:40
They're not. Yeah. And then it really is like a centering grounding feeling. and I just like for people who are like I don even I too scared to go to therapy Just please know there some of us that are fucking doing it every day If she goes we need to start doing three days a week
01:38:56
I would do it. Yeah. Because it really is just like being able to vent and have someone go, OK, but could you also look at it like this?
01:39:02
Right. I mean, we've talked about therapy so much on the show, but it's so important.
01:39:06
It helps. It helps so much. I just feel like I can feel real the real effects of it.
01:39:13
Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. Like you and I used to go to our dude and an hour would be up and you and I hadn't stopped yelling at each other.
01:39:22
So we started, he started being like, I don't have an ex. He like, I think he purposely wouldn't schedule a section, a session after us because I have another hour if you guys can stay.
01:39:31
So we were having two hour fucking sessions. Yes. Which is the only way to fucking solve anything.
01:39:34
Yes. And if you're in a place where like it takes time to unravel bad things. Yes.
01:39:44
you have it give yourself time memories mental state fucking learned behaviors and you have to
01:39:50
you have to be taught how to look at things like you always look at things the way you look at them
01:39:55
because you're doing it for a reason you have your reasons you have your self-protections
01:40:00
you have you know shit that worked you for a long fucking time and she says that all the time it got
01:40:06
you where you are today because i'm always in there going i don't know why i do this and that
01:40:10
It's like you got yourself where you are today with these things that you're now saying are the worst things about you.
01:40:16
Right. And that it's like it's just so helpful. Or you think are still going to work when really your circumstances have completely changed.
01:40:22
So it's because you can't. It's a defense mechanism that you don't need anymore.
01:40:26
That's right. But it doesn't work real time because your body takes forever to follow.
01:40:31
And if you are in a state of threat and if you have no support and nothing, then you can't just go, oh, everything's different.
01:40:38
Great. And you can't expect yourself to do that either. No. So, you know, everybody that's trying or attempting or whatever, just fucking year 14 of therapy.
01:40:49
It's like, I'm just starting to feel like things really breaking up in a meaningful way.
01:40:54
I love it. It's nice. Mine is, my fucking hooray is that yesterday or this week, whatever, it's mine and Vince's three year wedding anniversary.
01:41:03
Are you serious? Yeah. Did you guys get married right when we started this podcast?
01:41:07
Pretty much. I think you were like a last minute add on to the invite list because I was like, well, we're friends now.
01:41:13
I definitely was. Because I remember you going, look at my ring. Like that happened like when we were recording.
01:41:19
And you know, you called me. You were like one of the first people. Really? Yeah.
01:41:23
Honey. Um, yeah. Three fucking years. Congratulations. Thank you. Someone who never believed in marriage and like was always scared of marriage because it means that this is how you fall apart from each other sure And but knowing somewhere deep down that I did want the option to get married or hoping to find someone that I liked enough to marry and being three years in and Vince was like
01:41:49
we're even more in love. And it was like, oh, my God. Yeah. That's how it works.
01:41:54
Yeah. I didn't know that would happen, that you'd like each other even more. I always figured relationships were a steady decline.
01:42:02
Sure. And I'd have a series of three to five year relationships for the rest of my fucking life.
01:42:06
and that's how it would be. Yeah. And I'd have to go to a lot of improv shows. But meeting Vince.
01:42:12
That's what you got a day to stand up. That's right. His proven otherwise. And I just want to say that we went to Musso and Frank's for dinner with my mom and basically
01:42:21
my stepdad, John, last night to celebrate our anniversary, which is so nerdy. It was really fun.
01:42:26
I bet. And they gave us a card, an anniversary card, the last minute anniversary card.
01:42:31
I think it was a marriage card, not an anniversary card. Okay. And it just said whatever it said on it.
01:42:38
She signed her name and John's and then wrote on the other side, gift to come. That's what I wrote down that I wanted to get to come.
01:42:46
That's what I want to tell you. Give me time to think about it. Well, maybe I'll save that one because it's hilarious.
01:42:50
What the gift will be? No, that card. Oh, definitely save that. Yeah. Yes. Well, I was just going to say, as a person who is forced to be with you in your relationship
01:43:02
a lot of the time. You're there. Um, you have a beautiful relationship that makes me happy to see.
01:43:10
And the way you guys talk to each other and talk with each other, like so much communication.
01:43:16
But then on top of that, it's like the way you guys chat with each other. You like you talk about stuff that's like it's not like here's my interest or here's your interest or whatever.
01:43:26
You're just great conversationalists and kind of just great communicators. It's really lovely.
01:43:31
And I also really love because this is my parents used to do and they were married for like 40 years when in the car.
01:43:38
My mom used to just always put her hand over and put her hand on my dad's neck as he drove.
01:43:43
And I watch you do that with Vince all the time where you just kind of get in and just like go and put your hand on his leg or whatever.
01:43:49
And it's just a lovely. Yeah, you guys are doing it right. Thank you. I'm amazed that this happened, that I met, that we have each other.
01:43:58
You're very lucky. And guess what, everyone? We go to therapy, too. Yes. Because you have to.
01:44:03
Because you have to, because it's important. And we're still great. Yeah. Even without it.
01:44:07
But it's great. Yeah. Awesome. That means a lot to me that other people notice that too, because I fucking, I'm amazed.
01:44:13
I love it. Happy anniversary. Thank you. Yeah. Thanks for listening. You know, follow things and do this and that.
01:44:20
Yeah. And we have all these, we plug things and we promote things. Exactly right.
01:44:23
We have all these podcasts on our network. And we have a podcast coming that we can wait to tell you about We have an announcement coming It going to blow your fucking socks off And maybe you already heard of it We don know but we get to tell you soon And we so excited
01:44:37
We've been waiting for fucking ever to tell you. And we can't wait. But the Exactly Right Network is like our next slate of shows that we are going to premiere
01:44:47
soon. We're so excited about them. We have amazing talent, really good podcasts.
01:44:52
And so, you know, stick around for that because exactly right. But but I was going to say also, we promote stuff on here all the time and talk about stuff.
01:45:01
And you guys are so responsive as listeners and so supportive of everything we do.
01:45:08
It sounds hokey, but honestly, thank you so much. We feel like we have a million like sisters or like close cousins supporting us.
01:45:15
Yes. And we feel like we know you guys. Yeah. It's we're really we're really grateful.
01:45:19
We're really grateful. So thank you so much and stay sexy. And don't get murdered.
01:45:23
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01:46:43
Why is it always chaos when we link up? Because nobody plans anything, bro. Good thing the rug's ready like that.
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