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Data accurate as of 220-26. My favorite love My favorite love What's up, Serana?
00:02:16
Yes. Holy shit. I forgot to finish my mint. Get your mint. Swallow it. Spit it. Should I look and see what's in this bag?
00:02:35
It says no thanks on the front of it. I like it already. Did someone forget? Did someone lose their purse?
00:02:41
Oh. I think there's birth control in here. Who says it? Let's take it all and see what happens.
00:02:48
What's that? Okay. It's something political. About women. Oh, fuck your bad vibes.
00:03:00
Yeah. Sounds good. And then also, fuck women. Right? Someone left us a gift in the back of this really beautiful little thing that has sand and shells in it,
00:03:13
and it says emotional support dirt. So thank you for having me. It's really cute.
00:03:19
It's not just Hawaii where you get your emotional support soil. It's everywhere.
00:03:24
Soil, damn it. All across this great land. It's hard to remember the words. Go back out.
00:03:30
We're filming this. Hi. Hi. Can I just explain these shoes? Listen. Listen to me.
00:03:39
Stop it. Look right there. Shut up. And listen. You don't know me. You don't know anything about me
00:03:44
Last night We were in Detroit Michigan, America Heard of it? I mean, yeah You're right, that was exactly the right sound
00:03:57
To make about it No, it was wonderful, we had a great show We got driven to the Pegasus Greek restaurant
00:04:03
Afterwards, which is one of Vince's Favorite restaurants They fucking like cheese on fire
00:04:08
It's a show, it's like a show It's like dinner in a show It's so good And on the way, the guy that was driving us who worked at the theater got a call saying one of them left their shoes.
00:04:21
And it's this pair of clogs that I've been wearing since the very first show that we ever did to piss my sister off.
00:04:30
Which even before the show, you put them on and said, I've got to get rid of these.
00:04:35
Yes. Just last night I said it because I was like, at this point my sister doesn't care anymore.
00:04:40
I'm the only one laughing at this joke like it kind of doesn't matter But I still like is just like a my little you know fuck you to my sister silently
00:04:48
You guys all around the nation you gotta have one and then but I didn't want to make that guy drive back to the theater
00:04:54
And then drive to the Pegasus like here's your dirty clogs, ma'am like that's I don't want to be that person
00:05:00
We're not at that level yet. Not yet. We'll fucking get there. We'll get there Riri. We're we're gonna get there Rihanna
00:05:07
right So then I was like, please don't come back with those shoes. I was like, I don't care.
00:05:13
I have these snow shoes. Kiss them into the wind. Goodbye clogs. Now I'm moving into a weird ugh phase that I don't belong in in any way.
00:05:23
Who do you think got those clogs that's playing there tonight, do you suppose? Oh, I hope it's the Long Island medium wearing my clogs.
00:05:31
And she's like, oh, I can smell the ghost of whoever. The ghost of your old tights and your lazy fashion sense.
00:05:40
Teresa Caputo. So what about these ones? Oh, these are, I ordered these special because, of course, in California, we were warned months ago,
00:05:50
you're going to places that have weather. So you must prepare And so I ordered special snow like cold cold boots that also have insoles for plantar fasciitis
00:06:05
So these are about as Aunt Judy as a pair of shoes could be. Aunt Judy's plantar fasciitis is fucking helping up again.
00:06:15
We all suffer. We play cards together. You know. So that's what I did. How about your outfit?
00:06:21
Oh, this is a vintage dress that I have that I've never... I have one more. That's good.
00:06:26
Thank you. Look at that. Look at that. Look at that. And I'm also paired it with my peeling sunburn.
00:06:33
Yes. That are so fucking terrible and gross. Yeah. I've spent, I would say, 83% of my life with a peeling sunburn.
00:06:43
I think that's healthy, right? That's good for you. Yeah, until the melanoma sets in.
00:06:50
Right. My full body melanoma that's right around the corner. That's why I've got to live for today with my snow boots.
00:07:00
Speaking of, this is my favorite murder in the podcast. This is Karen Kilgore. This is Georgia Hart Stark.
00:07:12
Thank you. I am a little fucked up on cold meds and coffee, so it's going to be real fun.
00:07:20
That's the college girl speedball, I think they call that. And I unfortunately, this is like where we're at now, is you turned and had to see me pulling my Spanx up backstage.
00:07:32
You just shouldn't show anyone that ever. It's very unattractive. Yet comforting.
00:07:38
See, I go behind a closed door. Like, I'm always like, see you in 12 minutes and take all my Spanx.
00:07:44
And then the pulling and the grunting and the faces begin. I'm always like slightly sweating.
00:07:52
And then I come out like, what? Nothing. I was just thinking. I usually do too. But this time I'm on cold meds.
00:07:57
I was like, I'm going to do it right here then. I'm like doing mascara in the corner of my eye.
00:08:02
I see this. We're just like literally jumping up off the ground to get those Spanx on.
00:08:09
That's right. Pretty exciting. And they are working hard. God. They're doing it.
00:08:15
I actually had last night. I bought, this is great fucking material, by the way.
00:08:22
Two hours of Spanx material. Yeah, that's the whole show. Last night I was wearing mistake Spanx because I bought a new pair.
00:08:31
I was like, I need a body armor replacement. I need to get new Kevlar for this tour.
00:08:38
So I went to buy it, and I kind of wasn't paying attention. and I only got the half, the one that goes to here,
00:08:47
which introduced me to the person that doesn't roll down on. I don't get it. It just immediately rolls down.
00:08:54
So I had kind of like a, it almost looked like a three-piece sausage, like a three-link sausage chain under this fucking dress.
00:09:08
I like to go more smooth harbor seal, but it was like boom, boom, boom. I had back cleavage.
00:09:15
It was fucked. Thank you. It's a new tomorrow. So I actually got these. Sorry, but let me just wrap this amazing story up.
00:09:28
Please don't. Please don't. Please never stop talking about it. I bought this bodysuit thing at the Detroit airport.
00:09:38
And I think she charged me $300. I'm not paying. I wasn't paying attention, but I was like, how much for the?
00:09:47
It's fine. Just give it to me. I need it. I have to have it. Were you about to try to introduce?
00:09:53
Steven. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, wait. He's here. There he is right there. Steven. If he misses this cue, I swear to God.
00:10:08
Thank you. Look. Look at him. Yeah. It's new hair Steven. Feels good. It feels good.
00:10:27
It's a little bit for the weather. Tell us what restaurant you went to yesterday.
00:10:31
Margueriteville. That's right. He's a foodie. He loves food. He's a total foodie.
00:10:38
I mean, where better to go to Margaritaville than in Niagara Falls, where it's 30 degrees.
00:10:43
Perfect. It's like a little vacation in Niagara. We have a photo of you in Niagara Falls.
00:10:48
Do-do-do-do. Oh! With Brenna. With Brenna. We should have actually Photoshopped out Brenna.
00:10:59
Just like how they do with the boy bands, where it's like, who's that girl? No one knows.
00:11:04
You can keep liking him. You keep liking him as much as you want to. Millions of hearts break all over the...
00:11:11
Just me in a waterfall. Yeah, and a blurry thing right here. She's right off stage with her arms crossed.
00:11:16
Get over here right now. And did you go over in a barrel of the water? In my mind, I wanted to, and it would have been so beautiful.
00:11:26
Yeah, we would have loved it. And so you had to get drunk. Oh, of course, just survive a barrel, you know, would have been...
00:11:31
Sure, you never know. Do you want to talk about your hair? Just, you know, perfect for cold weather.
00:11:38
Your perfect time to cut my hair was when it's 30 degrees. So, yeah. We like it.
00:11:42
You sent a photo to us and said, what was it? The hippest something? The hippest barista in all of Silver Lake.
00:11:49
Love it. Dapper as fuck. Stephen Ray Morris, ladies and gentlemen. That him That how much we love you Toronto
00:12:05
We fuck everyone else over when we're like, Stephen's here, he's not here. He's here for you.
00:12:13
My dad is staying at my house with the cats, and I got a cat cam, so yeah, Marty's not here.
00:12:19
That's right. Listen. Listen. He texts Vince. Do you have a pot grinder? Yeah. That's my father.
00:12:31
He needs to relax, and he's got that glaucoma. He does not have glaucoma. Well, he could.
00:12:37
He might someday. He should. Hopefully. It's preventative weed. It's preventative.
00:12:42
Preventative. What else did we want? Wait. We had a pot-related story. Was it that you got it?
00:12:53
Vince got a joint last night? Yes. Okay. This is the best. So after the show, Vince's friend is like, and handsome and joint.
00:13:05
It's legal. In Detroit. It's legal. Stop calling him out. So is it? Yeah. Great.
00:13:11
Fucking light him up, everybody. Pass to the front. Share with your friends. Then I'll have a panic attack.
00:13:20
So we go down, say hi to some people, go, we get brought up, then we get brought down to do the meet and greet.
00:13:29
And as Vince is coming down the stairs, he realizes he lost the joint. He's like, I fucking lost the joint.
00:13:34
Help me look as we go down the stairs. We go down the stairs. It's not on the stairs.
00:13:39
And he's like, we got to find that joint. And in my mind, I was like, I'm going to find this thing.
00:13:45
And I was like bragging about how great my eyesight is and I find the contacts when people lose them.
00:13:50
And I can't see for shit like if you see me if we are ten feet away and you go like this
00:13:55
I will not see you like you have to be kind of right here happen many times in airports
00:13:59
I can it happens a lot and be like she's such a bitch and it's like no you're just a blur
00:14:05
And I and I could wear glasses I choose not to I don't want to get involved anyway
00:14:14
It's good for my anxiety anyway If you have really bad social anxiety, just take your fucking glasses off.
00:14:20
It is a miracle. It's a miracle. Suddenly you're just like, everything's beautiful and blurry and I'm fine.
00:14:27
These are anxiety bangs. Are they? Yeah, bangs, man. Hide behind them. Yes. Makes you chill out a little bit.
00:14:33
So anyway, I turned on my sixth sense, my weed eye, and we walked down into the room that we had been in.
00:14:41
And I just walked over and I was like, here it is, Vince. In a corner. You're under a door thing.
00:14:47
Because if you have the will, if you have the passion, you can do anything you want, ladies and gentlemen.
00:14:54
And that's why we're here tonight. Motivational speaker. I pulled down my Janet Jackson head mic.
00:15:02
So, here's your five-tiered, five-pronged. All right. Should we sit down? It's sit-down time, I think, yeah.
00:15:13
Thank you. I think these are the Anderson Cooper chairs. Yeah, the Anderson Cooper, Andy Cohen chairs.
00:15:22
Did we tell you guys about that? How they send chairs. They do a show. I'm sure it's just like this one.
00:15:27
And they, Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen, send chairs to every venue and leave them there
00:15:33
because they're like, well, these are the chairs we want to get drunk in. Yeah. And so we get to use them.
00:15:38
They ship chairs. Yeah. We're not there yet either. Oh, that's right. You will be.
00:15:45
Yeah. My back just cracked in six places. That's not good. That's not good, Grandma.
00:15:55
Why don't you tell these strangers who've never heard of this podcast before, who don't know what a podcast is, about this podcast?
00:16:03
Guys, you know that you've heard this time and again. But we have to say it for the strangers, for the new people, for the forced audience members who, some of you weirdos, bring outsiders.
00:16:18
Why? You're like, hmm, who's the most judgmental person in my life? I'm going to invite them to the murder comedy show.
00:16:26
My boss? Great, I'm going to bring her. My mom that doesn't like modern things? Perfect.
00:16:33
We'll make her do it. So, some people get worried or maybe offended at the idea of a true crime comedy podcast
00:16:41
because they think that something like true crime, murder, the worst thing that can happen to anyone in the world,
00:16:46
belongs nowhere near comedy. And so, just so you know, if you don't listen to the podcast, you don't know us,
00:16:54
and you can't give us the benefit of the doubt. You don't know that those two things run parallel.
00:16:58
We do our best to not intertwine them in any way because we don't think murder is funny,
00:17:03
and we don't think loss is funny, but life is shit and you have to laugh at things.
00:17:07
It's very important. So if you're one of those kind of people, if you're one of those kind of people
00:17:13
that's super offended by just the concept of this, you can get the fuck out right now.
00:17:18
It's important. From my heart to yours. But they're Canadian and they're nicer. They're like, why would you yell at us this way?
00:17:29
Even my volume is upsetting, I'm sure, right now. Can you tell I cut my bangs while I was on cold medicine with sewing scissors?
00:17:37
She just, it was like, Vince came in and goes, four minutes, and then Georgia picks up a pair of scissors.
00:17:42
I was like, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. No, no, no. She goes, be careful.
00:17:46
I was like, keep an eye on me, would you? Please keep an eye out. Hey, everyone.
00:17:53
It Cal Penn host of Earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club This week on the podcast I sitting down with Lily Chu the author of the Audible original romantic comedy Just Kiss Already
00:18:06
It's a story about a forensic anthropologist who secretly writes mystery novels,
00:18:10
an actress who adapts his book into a film, and what happens when a meme and a media tour collide with a slow burn romance.
00:18:19
It's performed by Simu Liu and Philippa Su, and it is an absolute blast. When you actually hear the performance, you realize that other people aren't taking your words.
00:18:31
And what you thought was kind of a straightforward sentence, like the cat in the corner is black.
00:18:36
In my head, it's the cat in the corner is black, not the dog, not the gerbil. But someone else might say it. The cat in the corner is black.
00:18:44
That's always fascinating to me. How they just bring in all these different nuances.
00:18:48
and really make it fun and interesting and distinctive. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club
00:18:56
on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile.
00:19:07
I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same premium wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying.
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It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants
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switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to do at mintmobile.com slash switch.
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Upfront payment of $45 for three-month plan equivalent to $15 per month required. Intro
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rate first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra.
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Default terms at mintmobile.com. If your best finance people are doing expense reports,
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00:19:53
I'm first. You are first tonight. Okay. All right. Thank you. It's hard to go first.
00:20:01
It is hard to go first because you just don't know. Start with local jokes. Okay.
00:20:07
I don't know any. Tim Horns. What a shithole. Am I right? Oh. they're like that's our church
00:20:14
get out we hate you alright well so I'm going to do Project Hitchhiker which is the first conviction in Canadian history
00:20:27
without a body or a crime scene okay it is fucking yeah it's bananas there's fucking twists
00:20:34
there's turns things of this nature it's fucking bananas prepare I'm going to sit forward
00:20:39
I wish you would and pull up my dress the whole time Take a listen to this. Okay, it's 1991.
00:20:46
Take a listen to this. I don't know. What choice do I have? Half the shit I'm saying tonight.
00:20:54
Let's blame it on cold minutes. Can we, please? Okay, it's 1991. Everyone knows the best time of the last century.
00:21:00
Oh, my God. Beautiful. Dis. Oh, great. Detective Herb. Herb. I fucking knew I'd do that.
00:21:13
I was like, don't do that. Don't do that. So I did it. Sorry. It's because my mom yelled at me when I was a kid because I would call herbs, herbs.
00:21:26
And I'm traumatized. Okay. So you have the panic like half second before where you're like, I'm saying it wrong?
00:21:32
Yeah. So say it right. And then you overcorrect. Herb. Herb. Herb Kerwin. He joins the homicide unit.
00:21:40
This is detective. He had served as an undercover officer with the RCMP. He was fucking doing drugs and gangs and shit, going undercover.
00:21:48
Oh, not doing drugs. No. Yeah, yeah. I was not trying to indict him. Right. No, no, no, no.
00:21:55
All right. Okay, so I got a lot of this information from a show called The Detectives.
00:21:59
It's a great fucking show. Yeah, you guys. There's a detective who's all hard-boiled and shit,
00:22:05
and they tell their most insane story that they can't stop thinking about. So this is his story. I'm watching it. I couldn't get a picture of him as a young, a young in in 91, but I'll show you who has played. He was played by Eric Johnson, this actor. Oh, very handsome. What? He's Canadian. Of course. He he's he's was in Smallville, all these things. But most notably, he was in two of the three Fifty Shades movies, as we all know.
00:22:35
Did he work at the hardware store where she worked? The dumbest fucking plot point of all time in any film, including The Room.
00:22:45
The idea that Dakota fucking Johnson worked at a hardware store. She wasn't even the cashier.
00:22:53
She was like roaming around like, do you need help with hammers? From you? Fuck off.
00:22:59
I can't. People talk about how bad that movie is in all these other ways. I'm like, start with the hardware store.
00:23:07
Always start with the hardware store. I mean, look at this hard-boiled, look at his hair.
00:23:12
He's been up all night working on this case. Doesn't he look like Jon Hamm's cousin?
00:23:16
Yeah. His Canadian cousin. His Canadian cousin whose mom has red hair. So there's like a little something else going on.
00:23:25
Canada, this is your Jon Hamm. Congratulations. Congratulations. All right. Go to that bridge and find him.
00:23:31
Well, so in March of 91, when he goes to homicide, along with his normal workload,
00:23:38
all of the detectives have to also take on a cold case, which I think is fucking awesome.
00:23:42
So he is given a case that's only a year old but is already cold because there's no body or crime scene,
00:23:49
which is so crazy. On April 16, 1990, this is the case he gets, at about 2 p.m. in Pickering, Ontario,
00:23:58
it's either... 40 miles or 40 kilometers east of Toronto. I was not paying attention.
00:24:07
Same death. It's 40 things away. You know. I mean, no one's going to listen and be like,
00:24:18
well, I'm going to Pickering, and oh, Georgia said it was this long, so I'm just going to base my time.
00:24:22
I don't need to get gas. Yeah, yeah, I don't need to get gas. She said it was 40 kilometers.
00:24:25
I don't need to leave it that time because it's Georgia. I already know. No one's going to, hopefully no one does that.
00:24:29
Please don't ever do that. You've got to hope. About anything we say. No, nothing.
00:24:33
So, okay, 14-year-old Julie Stanton, she goes missing. This is her. Sweet baby angel.
00:24:41
Amazing bangs. I love her. Okay. She's this sweet teenager. She's 14. She's last seen wearing a dark bomber-style jacket, blue jeans.
00:24:50
And a neighbor said that they saw her get into a late 70s model Monte Carlo car.
00:24:59
driven by a white male with shaggy hair and a scruffy look. So they look into Julie's life, and lo and behold,
00:25:06
Julie's BFF, Julie's best friend, Kim. Forever, yeah. I know the type, yes. The kind that will put their Spanx on in front of you.
00:25:21
That's right. It's on. It just so happens that her best friend, the dad, not only fits that fucking,
00:25:31
he also drives a 79 Monte Carlo. So they're like, oh shit. This fucking asshole,
00:25:37
his name is Peter Stark, he's 47, and he has a record of violence against women.
00:25:42
In 1981, Peter was dating a 31-year-old woman named Maria Woods when she disappeared.
00:25:48
He was considered a suspect, but her body wasn't found until five years later, buried in the woods.
00:25:52
And by then, the decomposition is so bad they can't tell a cause of death or pin anything on him.
00:25:58
And there's not enough evidence to hold him in Julie's case, and that's when it runs cold.
00:26:03
And then our friend Herb gets the case. Herb. Herb. Oh, God. Okay. So he's like, let's fucking do this.
00:26:17
He starts digging into this asshole Peter Stark's life. He re-interviews Stark's wife, Allison.
00:26:22
At this point, they're separated, and so she's willing to talk a little bit more,
00:26:27
and Peter has moved to Niagara Falls where Stephen likes to vacation. Stephen's favorite place.
00:26:34
Yeah. Oh, God. That didn't work. Okay. So she says that after Julie disappeared, Peter's behavior had started to change.
00:26:42
He started wetting the bed and getting paranoid. An adult man in his 30s? Jesus Christ.
00:26:49
Fucking. What color is your favorite flag? Red. The reddest. That thing is like a scarlet flag.
00:26:59
Oh, yeah. My lips and maybe my teeth. I mean, it's horrible. And then also I just flash back to all the times.
00:27:08
Uh-oh. That I've wet the bed as an adult. No! I'll tell you the one through line, the theme.
00:27:16
Oh, I know what it is. Jägermeister. Have you ever had that experience? I did not know that.
00:27:23
It will put you out. You and your bladder will be out for the evening. Do you have those dreams where you're trying to pee everywhere?
00:27:35
I have those dreams all the time where it's like, why can't I pee? I'm in the toilet.
00:27:39
I'm in the bathroom. You wake up in your bed. Shit. I actually, the first, sorry, sorry.
00:27:46
Please. The first time I drank Jägermeister, it was me and my sister and Adrian and Adrian's brother,
00:27:54
Dominic and Adrian's future husband Robin. And so it was all these cool way older guys.
00:28:01
And we partied, we drove to like a forest of redwood trees and then just partied in the trees.
00:28:08
So country. But these, like, these guys were like, Karen, come with us. And they just,
00:28:13
it was like, I got picked to be cool because they could tell I was an alcoholic when I was 16.
00:28:18
Come on, you. And then it was like, someone cracked open this bottle of Jaeger and they're
00:28:22
like have you ever heard of Jägermeister? And then we just stood in a circle drinking Jägermeister
00:28:27
in a circle. All I remember after that is that I lit a cigarette in my sister's Mustang on the
00:28:34
way home and she was so angry. She's like what are you doing? Put them out. I was like I gotta be
00:28:39
myself. You can't keep me from being mean. I'm 16. I badly need a cigarette. I have to have this
00:28:47
marble I found the bottom of mom's purse. I wake up in the morning in my clothes in my bed.
00:28:55
Oh no. Uh, I had wet the bed. So I like pulled back the covers. I took all my clothes off,
00:29:02
put them in a pile. I walk into the bathroom and when I come back out, my mom is standing
00:29:07
in my bedroom doorway and she goes, you wet the bed and then just walked away. I figured
00:29:15
I figured out why Mimi's your favorite. She pees the bed all the fucking time. I relate.
00:29:23
She's such a drunk. And she loves Jaeger. That cat is an alcoholic. That's true.
00:29:30
Okay, so, oh, here's a photo of him. Like, you know, it's like creepy. Professor.
00:29:37
Ewan McGregor. Yes. No, they probably want a Canadian actor to play him, though.
00:29:43
Okay. Okay. Um. Shoot. No, don't yell Canadian actors. That'll make me really angry.
00:29:54
All I thinking of is now is like name a Degrassi character name a Degrassi character I know I was like Corner Gas Was it called Corner Gas You got some good TV up here You really do
00:30:05
And some really bad TV. Like some of the worst I've ever seen. Where it looks like it's like two cops talking to each other,
00:30:14
but they're holding a coffee like right down here. When's this over? Okay. Get back to our day job now.
00:30:24
Okay. So Allison, the wife, says he starts running the bed. He gets all fucking creepy.
00:30:30
And then she's like, you know, I should tell you this story. So he's super into this role-playing game.
00:30:36
Let me tell you about it. Peter, this fucking dick, he has her pretend to hitchhike
00:30:43
while she's wearing a blonde wig dressed up as a teenager. That's his fucking fetish.
00:30:48
That's not a game. Nope. Or a fetish, actually. He drops her off on a lonely road, picks her up.
00:30:53
You know, they're role-playing. He uses a fake name. After driving around a bit, he pulls over and asks if she thinks he's dangerous.
00:31:00
Then they fucking hook up. But it's also, he needs to get a little violent with her.
00:31:08
And she's like, he never intentionally hurts me, though. It's just like, we have this role play thing.
00:31:13
But see, she has no idea about his fucking history. For example, you see, in 1970, he had picked up Nancy Nelson.
00:31:22
She was an 18-year-old blonde hitchhiker. He tells her his name is Michael and asks if she's scared of hitchhiking
00:31:28
and if she thinks he's dangerous. Before she can respond, he stabs her multiple times.
00:31:35
She fucking survives. This amazing woman, she survives. She almost dies three times during surgery, but she fucking makes it.
00:31:47
Of course, she's so traumatized by this, and I'm sure the aftermath, too, because it was the 70s.
00:31:52
They were not very victims advocacy people. So she was too traumatized to testify against him
00:31:59
for attempted murder, and I feel like this wouldn't happen now. So instead they put him up on lesser charges of assault,
00:32:06
and he gets six fucking months. Months? Because, yeah. Okay. It's horrible. So Allison then admits to the detective, to Herb,
00:32:20
that the uh jesus i really didn't do that no you have to act like you did it on purpose
00:32:26
protective herb yep um he's like deserves so much respect i'm just being okay i'm trying to be sorry
00:32:34
no all i can think of is just a strip of rosemary solving solving awesome cases oh write that stephen please make a note please so so allison the wife also admits that on the day
00:32:49
Julia had gone missing, fucking Peter Stark had been bugging her to skip work and play the hitchhiking
00:32:54
game. And she's like, fuck you. She'd been like putting him off all weekend and she goes to work
00:33:00
the same day Alison disappears. He picks her up later, later from work. He's late. He's dirty
00:33:05
and disheveled. He says his car broke down. He says, she tells the detective that the, he said
00:33:11
the catalytic converter, thank you, stopped working. And she's like, great. And then detective
00:33:16
Herb is like, hey, guess what? Monte Carlos don't fucking have one of those. Catalytic converters? Yes.
00:33:26
Awesome. That's that rad detective-ing where someone's like, what did you just say?
00:33:32
That's that moment where as you're watching it as a TV show, you're like, what? What does he know?
00:33:37
What does he know? And then it cuts to break, but then he has his coffee here. Yeah.
00:33:44
Okay. Okay, so, but of course this isn't enough to, you know, charge him, so Detective Herb starts to rework the case.
00:33:56
So then in June 1991, okay, cut to fucking Niagara Falls, where Stephen is, and this fisherman and his son are fishing.
00:34:08
They find by the water side a piece of cement. They think it's rock. Listen, this doesn't make any...
00:34:15
They just start jumping on it. I don't know. They definitely went to Margaritaville before they found that rock.
00:34:22
That's what Niagara Falls is like. It's fucking nuts. Who knows? Maybe they have a flask.
00:34:27
I don't know. But it breaks apart and reveals dismembered body parts. A father and son?
00:34:35
That's horrifying. Yeah. And the victim is a young girl. She seems to be 13 to 15 years old and blonde.
00:34:41
So, of course, Detective Corwin thinks it's Julie Stanton who had gone missing. So he's like, he sends all of his information that he has on these cases that he thinks Stark has done to Niagara Falls homicide detectives and to downtown Toronto, North York, and Pickering because he thinks they're all connected.
00:35:01
And back when he worked in drugs and gangs, they did this insane thing where they shared information with other districts and solved crimes together.
00:35:09
Yeah. It's the wave of the future. It's the wave of the future. So luckily, I mean, it's incredible that he came from there.
00:35:16
I was like, why the fuck don't we do that? Let's do it. So he started doing that with other jurisdictions.
00:35:21
And so, because he's like, well, all Peter Stark has to do is keep moving and no one will put together that he's a fucking maybe serial killer.
00:35:28
Yeah. So, um, okay. So, uh, so he gets all the, um, so he, okay. so now he goes to interview stark's daughter aka best friend forever kim um she doesn't have the
00:35:45
same mother but so she was super shy girl and like didn't have a lot of friends but then julie just
00:35:50
like oh julie was really open and just came up to her and befriended her and they became best
00:35:54
friends so kim doesn believe her father would do anything to julie and he says that julie and he were friends too She just like can imagine that her dad would do anything But Detective Herb tells her that her father a killer
00:36:08
I think, I don't know what exactly he tells her, but he gives her, like... How about everything you just fucking told us?
00:36:13
Yeah, but it's like, she's like a 14, 15-year-old girl. Can you fucking imagine?
00:36:19
So she finally breaks down and says that her dad had admitted to her that he picked Julie up the date she went missing.
00:36:24
But he said he didn't do anything to her. He dropped her off later. So she just didn't say anything.
00:36:29
Yeah, so she didn't know. I mean, so meanwhile, this case from Niagara Falls at Cement Time,
00:36:37
the dental records come back. It's not Julie. It's a 14-year-old girl named Leslie Mahaffey.
00:36:45
Yeah. Wait, just wait. Do you know the name yet? No. Okay, great. so she had disappeared in June of 1991 she was a resident of Burlington and a grade nine student
00:37:00
love your coat factory amazing the prices are great not just coats they're more there's uh there's a kind of weird
00:37:10
raincoats and there's really bad shoes incredible so it's not her but they're like well maybe
00:37:19
the girl it is, Leslie, maybe he killed her. So he he's considered a suspect, but then a hair sample
00:37:27
that they think was the killer from the cement comes back and it doesn't match Stark. But the case does
00:37:34
help that, does help Detective Herb put this task course together and the government decides to fully fund
00:37:44
this task course that uses all jurisdictions to go after Peter Stark, which is fucking awesome.
00:37:50
There are nine different agencies. They join together. They pool their unsolved cases
00:37:55
where Peter Stark is a suspect, and they fucking go after him together. It's pretty
00:37:59
rad. The first thing they do is re-evacuate the site where Maria Woods, Peter's ex-girlfriend,
00:38:05
had her, when her body had been, where her body had been discovered a decade earlier, and
00:38:10
they find, they find, when they re-examine it, they find a bullet and casings, which hadn't been fucking found back then.
00:38:18
So now they have a cause of death and solid evidence because ballistics show that the casings come from a rare World War II bullet
00:38:25
that can only be fired from a Colt .45 automatic pistol. And it's the same pistol and kind of pistol that Stark's father had owned
00:38:34
and gave to him around the time Maria went missing. Fucking smoking gun. But... Literally.
00:38:40
Literally. Except he had gotten rid of it, of course, so they can't tie him to it,
00:38:44
concretely. And so Julie's fucking badass parents were pissed and they knew that this guy had something to do with it.
00:38:52
So they had been fucking confronting him constantly. And one time they walked up to his
00:38:56
car, banged on his window and just screaming, where is Julie? Like they fucking did it.
00:39:02
So Detective Herb asked them to back off a little bit. They're going to try to get him.
00:39:08
And they're like, great, we'll do that. But you better get him. Hurry the fuck up.
00:39:13
So they start surveilling him, but Peter Stark is really paranoid. He's totally aware at all times whether someone's falling or not.
00:39:21
Not paranoid because he's being fucking followed. He's right. So he drives hundreds and hundreds of kilometers out of the way
00:39:28
and around places and things just to see if he's being followed. One day the team is following him, and he pulls over next to a railway track,
00:39:38
and he starts walking towards the tracks, and the team thinks he's either trying to draw them out
00:39:43
to see if they're following him or then he stands in the middle of the tracks and like what if he's trying to fucking kill himself?
00:39:48
We need to nab him before that happens. So they come up with a story in order to approach him.
00:39:54
They call a patrolman. The patrolman comes and in the back pocket they have outstanding fraud charges against him
00:40:01
that they can use to bring him in. So they bring him in for questioning and the surveillance team,
00:40:08
while they're questioning him, they go in and fucking tap his car. Oh. Yeah. You know.
00:40:16
They put it on up in there. Right in the catalytic converter. Right up in the plinko.
00:40:26
So they listen to him for a month and waiting for him to trip up. One day they overhear a woman's voice on the wire
00:40:34
and they realize it's his estranged wife, Allison. She had fucking come all the way to Niagara Falls
00:40:39
to get back together with him after all this. And they're like, God damn it. So let's see.
00:40:48
And they're worried too because if she goes back together with him and they try to bring him to trial,
00:40:52
they can't make her testify against her husband, right? It's the law for some reason.
00:40:58
It's the law. It's the law. But then they hear Allison asking Peter about the day of Julie's disappearance.
00:41:05
She tells him she has doubts about him and accuses him of being involved. he gets hostile and denies everything.
00:41:11
And so they're like, look, if fucking Allison can't get a confession out of him in the car,
00:41:15
like, we need to try ourselves. So he's been questioned before, but Detective Herb doesn't want to blow their chance.
00:41:23
So he fucking gets the FBI involved and he's like, what's the best way to do this?
00:41:27
And they're like, here's the thing. So they get an officer to arrest him that looks like Julie, who had gone missing.
00:41:34
Blonde, you know, young officer. they parade him past the fucking his 1979 Monte Carlo
00:41:41
that he had sold they fucking tracked it down, bought it back so like while they're bringing him through the fucking parking
00:41:47
lot with the blonde fucking patrol officer, they walk past it he's like oh shit inside the station he passes by a cop listening to the tapes of his conversation with Allison so they like we gotcha Another room is full of photos all designed to make it look like they had enough evidence against him
00:42:06
It was like a haunted house for a serial killer. Yeah. And then there was a bowl of grapes.
00:42:14
They made him put his hand into it. They can't touch you. If they jump out, they can't touch you.
00:42:18
Yeah, they can't touch you. Not at Universal Studios, anyway. Legally. and then so they do have a ton of evidence
00:42:26
but they don't have a smoking gun for the conviction so they try to get a confession from him
00:42:30
and he only confesses at one point that he picked her up that day but he says he dropped her off
00:42:36
after and had nothing to do with it and we all said bullshit so they put him in jail and a jailhouse informant
00:42:45
comes forward saying that Peter Stark had told him that he raped a girl and killed her
00:42:48
with an axe and he's willing to testify against Peter Stark. He does, and the other person
00:42:54
who fucking testifies against him is his daughter, Kim. Yeah, this fucking amazing chick.
00:43:01
She tells the court that her father had been missing an axe that was on his boat since before Julie
00:43:06
disappeared. The axe is gone. So, on December 4th, 1994, Peter Stark is found guilty of first-degree murder
00:43:12
for the death of Julie Stanton. It's not the first trial that has a case without a body or a crime scene,
00:43:18
but it's the first conviction in Canadian history of that. Wow. Isn't that amazing? Yes. Good job, everybody. You guys. You did it. You did it.
00:43:27
Two years later, in 1996, Julie's body is found when a farmer in the Manvers Township
00:43:35
finds her skeletal remains on his property about 80 kilometers from where she went missing.
00:43:41
Julie's case is the first time that a multi-jurisdictional task force is created
00:43:45
to investigate a serial killer. Good job. Ever? I think so, yeah. Ever? Ever. Jesus Christ.
00:43:55
Here's a photo of him. Oh, Russell Crowe, why did you do that? That's a good one.
00:44:02
Jesus. I know. So the project, which was called Project Hitchhiker, leads to the formation of another task force
00:44:12
called Project Green Ribbon, which investigates the death of our fucking girl from Niagara Falls, Leslie Mahaffey.
00:44:22
This leads to the arrest of... Oh, Ken and Barbie killers. Fucking Paul Marlowe and Paul Bernardo in fucking 1993.
00:44:31
Yes. Shit. It all... No wonder you made that noise. Yeah. God damn it. It all comes together.
00:44:40
I've literally done the Ken and Barbie killers, the schoolgirl killers twice. And I still didn't recognize that name.
00:44:48
And what's so sad. Damn it. She's the one who was late past her curfew and her mom locked her up.
00:44:55
Kills me inside. It's terrible. It's the worst. So Peter Stark would have been eligible to seek full parole in February of 2017.
00:45:04
But luckily, he died in August 2016 at the age of 71. Wow. Julie's family, who, you know, were fucking, like, on this dude,
00:45:17
they said at the news of Stark's death that it's bittersweet, and Julie's gravestone reads that,
00:45:23
reads, you'll never walk alone again, and they say that they are at peace knowing that Peter Stark
00:45:29
will never hurt anyone ever again. Yeah. And that's fucking Project Hitchhiker. Amazing.
00:45:37
Twists. Turns. Amazing. That's a good detective. The detective that's like, just tell me, FBI, how to do it.
00:45:48
Just share your information. Just read my information. Like, guys, let's do it. Huddles everyone up.
00:45:53
Do it. Can I have one of these? They have this. It's like an alley rally at Margaritaville.
00:46:04
Hey, everyone. It's Cal Penn. I'm the host of Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club.
00:46:11
This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook Project Hail Mary,
00:46:20
massive sci-fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone very far from Earth.
00:46:28
I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary
00:46:33
as I'm narrating some of these sections. And it's like, okay, yo, yo, yo, is this indulgent?
00:46:37
And I really thought about it. I was like, no, at this point, it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it.
00:46:48
But there's places in this book that deeply emotionally affected me. And I left it on the mic.
00:46:54
That's great. Because it served the story. People will say like, oh, my God, I cried at the end.
00:46:59
It's like, yeah, dude, me too. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:47:07
Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile, with a message for everyone paying big wireless way too much.
00:47:13
Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop. With Mint, you can get premium wireless for just $15 a month.
00:47:20
Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments, but that's weird. Okay, one judgment.
00:47:26
Anyway, give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. Upfront payment of $45 for three-month plan,
00:47:32
equivalent to $15 per month required. Intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available.
00:47:36
Taxes and fees extra. See full terms at mintmobile.com. If your best finance people are doing expense reports, chasing receipts, or spending time on month-end close,
00:47:45
it's time to get Brex AF, a gentic finance that eliminates that work before it starts.
00:47:51
Learn more at brex.com slash AF. Tonight I'd like to start my presentation today.
00:48:00
With a quick, which way did you go with it? No, no, I'm like just excited. The big arrow?
00:48:09
Yeah. Okay. Oh. This is my report on the province of Ontario. The Canadian province of Ontario is one of Canada's 13 provinces and territories.
00:48:35
Stand up. It is the second largest. It is the second largest province in land area and the largest in total population.
00:48:53
Ontario is home to the nation's capital city, Ottawa, and the nation's. and the nation's most populous city, Toronto,
00:49:05
which is also Ontario's provincial capital. The name Ontario is derived from the Iroquoian word meaning beautiful water.
00:49:19
Ontario was settled by the Algonquin tribes in the north and west and the Iroquois and Wyandotte Huron in the south and east.
00:49:30
The official language of Ontario is English. Ontario, the Canadian province, not to be confused with the California city of Ontario,
00:49:43
which was named after the Canadian province, Ontario, which is definitely where I am right now.
00:49:52
The official flower of Ontario is white trillium. The official bird is the common loon.
00:50:00
Aren't we all? So common. And the official website is www.ontario.ca. All right.
00:50:12
Please accept my apology, Canadian province of Ontario. I'm so sorry. You had to get one now.
00:50:22
You had to get one. I ain't gonna get her. Great job. I'll never make that mistake for, like, four more episodes.
00:50:33
Okay, tonight I'm going to do the Massey maid murder. Oh, wait. Don't look at him.
00:50:45
Someone in here just lost their soul. Don't look into the eyes. One, two, three, not it.
00:50:53
Let's see, I got a lot of my information from the CBC News, which apparently is a big deal up here.
00:50:59
They made Missing and Murdered. Is that right? Yeah, the podcast. Oh, yeah. They're making some good podcasts.
00:51:05
Yeah, for sure. Those CBC people. Congratulations on your podcasts, province of Canada.
00:51:13
There's also a book called The Massey Murder by a writer named Charlotte Gray. And this...
00:51:20
Your girl. She is one of my best friends. And this story was suggested to me by my friend, Auntie Donahue, who was also a great writer.
00:51:33
And she's here tonight. Yet her book of essays, nobody cares. It will help you. It will help you.
00:51:38
I'm telling you, it will help you. I've read it. Okay. I take you now to 1915 Toronto.
00:51:44
Okay. We're going there in our minds. That's right. Everything is brown and beige.
00:51:50
I don't know why. So Toronto in 1915 is very conservative. It's very class-oriented.
00:51:58
Men are being shipped off to fight in World War I. Young women are actually being shipped into Canada from England
00:52:04
to become maids for the upper class. And there's a lot of wealth in the city, and there's a lot of need for maid services.
00:52:15
And one of the biggest and richest families in Toronto was the Masseys. Oh, let's see.
00:52:22
Look at this. This is old Dan Massey. Now, he loved to clear-cut land and then sell it to people.
00:52:31
Right. That was his passion. He liked to cut down trees and just kind of throw them away and then sell land to people.
00:52:40
And so in doing so, he began to discover that bigger machines were needed to work the land.
00:52:46
And because, you know, especially this part of Canada, there's so much farming, he started, like, a farm equipment company.
00:52:55
Well, he actually didn't start it. He got together with like a blacksmith. It was so fucking long ago.
00:53:00
It was like the 1700s. They started making things that would make their jobs easier.
00:53:05
And then Daniel's son, Hart Massey, is the one that took everything his dad did and was like, we're taking this to the next level.
00:53:14
And so eventually it was like the fucking Masseys were all over the place. That is our new fucking logo.
00:53:21
Isn't that? That is so rad. Shouldn't we just go with a tractor? Yeah. For no reason.
00:53:26
No. I love it. Me too. It's the Maxi Massey. It goes all the way to the floor. Hart Massey develops his father's small business into a huge success.
00:53:42
He has a son named Charles Albert Massey, and that's who manages the business his father started.
00:53:50
To this day there are still a number of buildings and institutions named after the Masseys including Massey College at the University of Toronto Oh No one gives a shit about the University of Toronto I love it Every city we go to you name any college and people are like I studied there
00:54:09
They just want to talk about college so much. We don't. Do you want to give us a mascot?
00:54:18
Screaming carpetbaggers. Yes. Yes. They just run around screaming. Up and down the basketball court, screaming at the top of their lungs.
00:54:29
Oh, also, the concert venue, Massey Hall. Did you guys see your first show there? Your first punk show? Is it punk? I don't know.
00:54:38
It was just like a punk venue. It's really small, and the bathroom is sick. There's also a haunted steakhouse.
00:54:48
Cool. We'll talk about that later. Okay, so Charles' son, he has a son named Bert Massey, and he's not quite Massey material in his grandfather's eyes.
00:55:03
I mean, who among us? Right? How could anyone reach the heights, the Massey heights?
00:55:09
Yeah. So Hart favors, Hart is the grandfather. He favors Bert's cousins, Raymond and Vincent,
00:55:17
gives them more money and good jobs at the company. Oh, let's take a look at Bert.
00:55:22
Oh, he looks pissed. His grandfather doesn't like him because he over plucked his eyebrows.
00:55:29
That's my theory. I don't know if it's true. Or does he look like the dude from that show, Mr. Robot?
00:55:37
Oh. You know. Yes. Malin Blalink Okay Mayim Bialik Yes That's the one Next show you have to stand up and read an apology
00:55:50
To Mayim Bialik Dear Blossom I'm so sorry About all those hats they made you wear in the 90s
00:55:59
Okay She's not very female friendly so we don't care Oh is that true? Yes Let's not get into it
00:56:04
Okay Let's focus on Burt Massey Total loser. That is a center part. That is a center right up the middle part.
00:56:16
They cut it off because they don't understand what's good. Okay, so Bert works at a Studebaker dealership,
00:56:24
the Pontiac of the early 1900s. He's selling cars to support his wife, Rhoda, and their 14-year-old son.
00:56:33
Although he was quite popular with his peers, Bert is often referred to as a cad
00:56:38
and mostly because of how he treats women he's known for his interest in sports cars
00:56:44
and fast women that's how Bert is known around town which back then just means like
00:56:50
a car goes 30 miles an hour and a woman shows her ankle yeah exactly check out the ankles on that one
00:56:57
and she wants it she wants joint health It must have been edgy, though, at the time.
00:57:07
Yeah, yeah. Because there was only four cars. Okay. So in 1913, Bert and his wife decide that they want to hire a maid.
00:57:18
So they hire 18-year-old British maid. Her name is Carrie Davies. She is hired to work at their nice but modest two-story brick house at 169 Walmer Road.
00:57:30
Do you guys live there? Who lives there? Now it's apartments. Oh my God, who lives there?
00:57:35
After party. Let's go there after. Front lawn. Can you imagine living there now and being like, we got to get a maid.
00:57:45
I can't handle this whole house by myself. Huge. No offense. I guess that's offensive.
00:57:53
I'm sorry. Is it? To someone. Everything's offensive to someone. That's right. I think that's what we've learned vis-a-vis social media.
00:58:04
So Carrie Davies was born in Bedfordshire, England in 1897. She's the oldest of four girls.
00:58:11
Her family is very poor, but growing up she is known as a kind and virtuous girl.
00:58:18
In 1913, she's 16 years old. Her disabled father, who was a veteran of the Boer War, dies.
00:58:26
and just to make it as Dickensian as possible, her mother begins to go blind. So her mother can't work, so she has to work.
00:58:36
And that's when she finds out about the Canadian program to recruit young, respectable, trustworthy,
00:58:41
unmarried working class women to come over and work in Canada. So she signs up and she is placed in the Massey's household.
00:58:49
She has no social life. She doesn't spend any of her earnings on herself. She sends everything back to her sisters and her mom.
00:58:56
In early February of 1915, Rhoda Massey decides to take a trip out of town to visit her family.
00:59:03
She brings the 14-year-old son, and that leaves Bert alone to manage the household.
00:59:10
And the household is Carrie, basically. So on Sunday, February 7th, Carrie's working in the house,
00:59:17
and Bert basically catches her, is the phrase they use, and kisses her twice. um she uh he tries to make further advances but she wrenches away from him and goes and hides in
00:59:31
her bedroom um so it's just that she's stuck in this house it's where she works it's where she
00:59:36
lived for two years yeah so she has uh nowhere to go and she's and it's her job like she doesn't
00:59:43
want to lose her job um so she's upstairs uh hiding in her bedroom trying to act casual
00:59:49
later that night Burt Massey calls out to her and asks her to come in and make his bed so she has to go she does this time of course Massey forces himself on her again more aggressively But once again Carrie breaks free This time she runs out of the house and
01:00:07
across town where her sister, who has since moved to Toronto, lives with her husband.
01:00:13
And when she tells them what happened, they're very sympathetic, but they say, you have to go back. You need your job. Just be careful, basically. And they send her back.
01:00:23
Yeah, that's how it was. So she has no choice. She goes back to the Massey home.
01:00:28
But Bert doesn't bother her the rest of the night. But for Carrie, the emotional damage is done.
01:00:33
She's an innocent girl, very young. And she's stuck in this house with a creep. And I'm sure these, it's so funny.
01:00:41
It's like, of course, no one knows but her what the actual moves were. But the idea of like catching and kissing, when it's described and you see all those old newspapers,
01:00:51
it's all very like cutesy. It's the 9 to 5 feeling where it's like, oh, that old perv.
01:00:57
But clearly, I think it was violent. I think it was very scary and very threatening.
01:01:03
Yeah, and kissing back then I think is something you only did when you got married and shit probably, right?
01:01:08
It was like, yeah, touching someone's hand was like, I'm totally going to fuck you.
01:01:13
That's how you let people know. Or a nice note and some violets. There's all these different ways.
01:01:18
Okay, so the next day is Monday, February 8th, and Bert Massey goes to work. And Carrie spends the day freaking out.
01:01:27
She's just pacing. She doesn't know what she's going to do when he gets home because she knows it's going to happen again.
01:01:33
And she decides to take matters into her own hands. She goes and gets Bert's .32 caliber revolver from his gun cabinet.
01:01:40
Oh, fuck. And she waits for him. and then that night when he gets home for work for his evening meal,
01:01:48
she greets him on the front steps of that mansion with his own revolver. Holy shit.
01:01:54
Yeah. And she points the gun at him and yells, you've ruined me, and shoots him in the chest.
01:01:59
Oh. Yeah. And the other thing to keep in mind, too, is he has ruined her. This is that time where if something like that got out,
01:02:12
she's the maid, she's an immigrant, she doesn't have any people in this country,
01:02:18
she is ruined. I mean, you've got to think, too, she told, she probably, he fucking probably did more than that,
01:02:24
and she didn't want to say. You know what I mean? Yes. It just sucks. Yes. Yeah.
01:02:30
Yeah. That poor thing. Well, so she shot him. Right. As you do. As one will. The neighbors hear the commotion,
01:02:38
they come out, excuse me, they rush to his side, They carry his body off. They try to tend to his wounds. He dies there.
01:02:46
She runs upstairs. She's in her room basically changing out of her maid's uniform and into her own clothes.
01:02:52
And when the police come, she turns to them and says, yes, I shot him, and basically goes with them voluntarily.
01:02:58
The newspapers, of course, go nuts. The story tops all the news of the day. It eclipses the war.
01:03:04
It's that big. And this is the picture. There's that mansion. No, that's, um, it says that's the newsboy.
01:03:15
Why is he there? I don't know. I'm not sure who that is. Maybe the, like, the guy who sells you the paper just has a photo of himself.
01:03:23
I brought this to your house. You might consider tipping me sometime, you old bastard.
01:03:31
Ernest, what is it, Pellenton? Pelletier. Pelletier? He was the leading newsboy of 1915.
01:03:39
He's in that mix somewhere. And if you read Charlotte Gray's book, which you absolutely should, sorry,
01:03:48
Charlotte will tell you all about him. I don't have time. Okay. Stop looking at it.
01:03:55
Just stop looking at it. Okay. So when she's questioned by the police, Carrie tells the authorities all about the harassment that took place the day before.
01:04:04
She says she shot him as an act of self-defense, and she tells them Burt Massey ruined her character.
01:04:10
So I do think there was more that happened. And she could not continue to live in fear
01:04:16
of what he might have done next. Quote, she said, I only thought of his doing me harm.
01:04:21
So the next day, Tuesday, February 9th, 1915, she carries taken to women's court
01:04:26
and her charges are formally read aloud. And as they're read, she collapses into tears
01:04:31
and sobs convulsively. In her official statement, she states that she watched as Massey returned from work around 6.15 p.m., and that's when,
01:04:40
as she states, quote, I seemed to lose control of myself and ran upstairs and got the revolver.
01:04:46
So at the trial, which was days later, which is just such a weird thing to think about,
01:04:51
they turned that shit right around, people came to the courthouse in droves. Everybody was like,
01:04:58
I got to be here for this. And not only because the Masseys were this very famous Toronto family
01:05:04
and very upper-class Toronto family, but also because they came to support Carrie.
01:05:11
Yeah. So, in fact, there was such an outpouring of support, not only cards and letters, but financial support,
01:05:20
that she was able to afford one of the best lawyers money could buy at the time.
01:05:24
His name was Hartley Dewart. Yes. So, her trial begins on February 26, 1915, and it's an all-male jury.
01:05:36
I know, but hang in there. Courtroom is packed to the brim. Everybody's, it's on.
01:05:44
So the prosecutor, of course, tries to call Carrie's credibility into question saying that she's young, she's poor,
01:05:51
and she's hysterical. He also reminds the jury that they only getting her side of the story because Burt Massey can defend himself in court because she killed him But then when the defense lawyer Dewart makes his case he focuses on Carrie good reputation and strong moral values
01:06:12
He also shows the jury her medical records. So basically they had her, they had doctors examine her, and they had medical records proving that she was a virgin.
01:06:24
Oh, God. It's awful, but they're basically like, boom. So because she's a virgin, he argues her only intention was to preserve her character and her chastity.
01:06:36
She did not. This wasn't some, like he said, she said, you know, running around the table, cutesy thing.
01:06:42
She did not want to have sexual relations with Burt Massey. He ends his argument by lauding her as a hero.
01:06:49
Quote, she is a heroine, a woman of strong character, of stamina. of strong principles. And then he says, if she did not, you actually found this, if she,
01:07:00
if she did not defend herself against this man, she would have been a fallen woman,
01:07:05
an outcast, one more sacrifice. Let that sink into your mind. This was not manslaughter.
01:07:10
This was brute slaughter. Look at him. It's a good guy. That's a good guy. And what he really is also calling into that courtroom that day is basically saying,
01:07:28
this is what happens if somebody gets raped. This is what happens to women. The victims are the ones that fucking get tossed out.
01:07:35
Then they become sex workers. Then everyone goes, they deserve everything they're getting.
01:07:39
And it's because this is what happens in the first place. It's like all of a sudden, and it's so fucking like modern day.
01:07:46
Yeah, it's crazy that they even mentioned it back then, especially a man. Look what we do, everyone.
01:07:52
Yes. It's crazy. This is what fucking happens, and this is the pattern. Well, the jury was out for 30 minutes, and then they came back not fucking guilty.
01:08:04
Amazing. Yes. 30 minutes. Holy shit. They're like, let's have a sandwich, and then we'll go back and fuck it.
01:08:12
They went into the room, and they're just like, we're total shit, right? Okay. Let's fix this. Let's do something. Let's do something for once.
01:08:22
Oh, after Dewart gave that closing speech, the chief justice, William Moloch, someday
01:08:40
when all this goes down here at the end of that speech the defense's closing argument
01:08:48
he cried in the courtroom I know it's beautiful you Canadian men you rule you really do
01:08:58
alright so anyway that's my place I got all keyed up and I lost my place. Okay. You stop looking at him.
01:09:11
Every bartender in LA. Truly. Correcting you about movies. Fuck you. What? It's fine.
01:09:24
So Carrie later moves out to the country near Brampton. Is that your favorite? She marries a farmer named Charles Brown.
01:09:33
Oh, my God. Na-na-na-na-na-na. They have a son, Charlie, a daughter, Sally. They leave.
01:09:48
They never pay attention to them, even on Thanksgiving. No. She actually becomes the custodian of a home for girls.
01:10:00
She raises two children of her own. She also was the first person that would go and open the church every morning.
01:10:08
And she was the person, if someone died in their town, she would be the one that went and closed their eyes.
01:10:12
So they say, the writers, and I believe it was Charlotte Gray and maybe another reporter that's done a lot of work on this story,
01:10:20
talked about that she basically, in her life, was just giving penance and doing penance for the rest of her life for that.
01:10:27
Wow. But she really was, you know, an amazing person. She never told anyone in her family about that part of her life.
01:10:34
And the first time her daughter found out about it was when this other reporter came to talk about it.
01:10:40
He was like, I want to write a book and was talking about it. And the girl had no idea that her mom went through that.
01:10:46
And then the daughter said, it makes perfect sense because my mom lived like that.
01:10:51
Like she lived like she was giving back and that she owed something. Holy shit. Yeah. On the other hand, Bert Massey was buried in an unmarked grave. Wow. He didn't get into the
01:11:07
Massey family crypt. I don't know about you, but I would love one late Halloween night to see
01:11:15
somebody come out of that thing. Look at it. It's bigger than Bert's house. That's creepy as fuck.
01:11:24
Who's in there? If you had to spend one night in there, would you do it? For how much?
01:11:32
A million dollars. Easily. Okay. So there was an interesting essay that was written about this case
01:11:41
on a website called developmentoftoronto.com. Your favorite. You guys love to go on that in the mornings?
01:11:47
Just to catch up on the developments. It was written by a woman named Amanda Saravelle.
01:11:53
and she wrote, Davies' acquittal represented the triumph of traditional moralism
01:12:00
and values in the changing times of the First World War. Her gender, her race, and her class were all determining factors in securing her freedom.
01:12:08
Though these factors were present from many other women who interacted with the Canadian criminal justice system,
01:12:14
Davies had the support of the city behind her. Her only wish after her acquittal was to be able to, quote,
01:12:20
be back at work, that she could forget it all, and be able to go home to England to see her mother.
01:12:25
so essentially she was a lucky white virgin is is i'm serious i mean that's really what's
01:12:34
happening here if she didn't have that fucking doctor's report i think the point of all of this
01:12:40
is i would like to live in a world where no matter how much melanin is in your skin or how much of
01:12:46
your hymen is intact or whatever the fuck you've done or whatever your sexual preferences are
01:12:53
that you get some justice in court the way she did. That would be nice, wouldn't it?
01:13:01
Wouldn't it? And that's the story of the Massey maid murder. Amazing. Blow that up.
01:13:11
Amazing. What if I hit a button and that blew up? Well, I feel like if it's going to happen anywhere,
01:13:19
it's not America. No. Not the way we're going right now. But let's be positive. Okay.
01:13:27
That was amazing. Great job. Thank you. Hey, do we have time for a home now murder?
01:13:34
Okay, you got to listen to the rules. There he is. Vince Averill, everybody. Oh, Canada.
01:13:44
Oh, Canada. Okay. Either side. Thank you. Oh, great. Okay. Could we have the lights up just to hint so we can see people and what they're doing?
01:13:54
You don't even know her. I'm going to tell you really quick. Okay. Can I just tell you the rules?
01:14:00
Oh, my God, they're up there, too. Hi. I have no idea. Where else? Where else are they?
01:14:15
Okay, you. Get up here. Come on. Oh. You better not be drunk. You better make it fast.
01:14:21
You better blee, blee, blee, blah. I think you go that way. Oh, yeah, over there.
01:14:25
That way. Oh, go to Vince. Okay, you can bring the house lights down. Thank you.
01:14:32
Do I have lipstick on my teeth? No. Okay, great. You guys better be right. They were all pouring in.
01:14:39
Oh, my God. There's so much pressure. Hi. Hi. There we go. It's Alex, you guys. Come over here.
01:14:51
Take this and then don't get scared. Okay. Where are you from? I'm from Burlington.
01:15:00
Our favorite place. Yeah. What's your hometown? So it's actually the murder of my grandmother.
01:15:08
Oh, whoa. Yeah so I going to start off and say that I wasn quite one when she died So it personal for me because of my mother who actually here in the front row But I like a little step back so for me it was just like trying to find out this crazy story that they hid for me for my whole life
01:15:31
So my grandmother's name is Edwina Jones. She's from Wales. She moved to Canada.
01:15:39
She met my grandfather, who actually was in Niagara Falls, but didn't use a barrel.
01:15:47
He just went bye-bye. He went over? Yeah. Shit. So then he's passed. We're in it now.
01:15:54
It's on. Here we go. So if that wasn't enough for my mom, she marries a man who is the greatest guy by all accounts.
01:16:03
His name is Jonathan Woodrow, and he's one of those special sociopaths who no one ever knows.
01:16:10
He's just the best. So what happens is, so I found out, so what happened was he gets this call from this guy,
01:16:21
and he calls his friend, and he says, hey, I have an arms deal, and I want you in on it.
01:16:26
So he was a Scotland Yard police officer in Britain, moved to Burlington, and became a private investigator.
01:16:32
So he calls his buddy. He says, hey, I got this arms deal. I'm going to get the money.
01:16:35
I don't actually have guns, but we're going to fake it. And his buddy goes, cool.
01:16:40
Let me know if you need a hand, but I'm going to step back. So he gets this whole thing set up.
01:16:48
He tries to kill her with a rag with chloroform on it. She survives. He breaks her wrist, but she survives.
01:16:58
Then she goes back to him. because as we know, it's really tough to say when you're in relationships,
01:17:05
and if they're that much of a sociopath, you think they're great. They do everything they can.
01:17:10
They can convince you. So she goes back to him. So the cops have been, basically, this happens, and they're like,
01:17:17
okay, so she might be in danger, but you know what we're going to do? We're going to tap the phone.
01:17:20
We're not going to tell her that, because his friend, who he told about the arms deal, went to the cops and said,
01:17:27
hey, this is happening. So the cops don't go, hey, Edwina, you might be at risk.
01:17:30
they go, we're going to tap the phone, and that's how we'll make sure she's okay.
01:17:34
So they find out this is going to happen. It's at Spencer Smith, which is right on Lake Ontario.
01:17:41
So his plan is he gets a van, cuts a hole in the bottom, parks over a manhole. Sorry, one second.
01:17:52
I'm sorry. That's some Bugs Bunny shit. Oh, okay. so he's gonna he's gonna be like take give me the money i'm gonna go in my van get the guns
01:18:06
but in reality he's gonna go he's gonna go into the sewer whoa so the swat team is all there
01:18:12
waiting for him and if they put in a like a fake officer to do the exchange so they do the exchange
01:18:19
and they're like busted so they get him they find a gun on him with bullets missing so they race over
01:18:26
to my Nana's house and he's shot her. Yeah. So he pled guilty and he got 25 and he still in prison Oh good When was this
01:18:42
So this was in 1994. Holy shit. Whoa. So his 25 years is up this year. Oh, no. Guys, let's all go to the parole hearing.
01:18:52
So the big thing was, no, he never gave a reason why, which was one of the reasons why the judge, when he sentenced him,
01:19:00
said, you are one of the most evil individuals I've ever met, because he basically was like
01:19:04
stone. Yeah. And so after 20 years, he started going for his parole hearings. And then he started coming up with his stories of why, because that's what they wanted.
01:19:14
So one of his stories is that the guy, my Nana found out, his friend had a gun. And so his friend was like, you got a shooter.
01:19:26
that's story number one Pearl Board's like cool that's not a reason yeah and it's a really bad story
01:19:34
so they go to the second reason and this is when he says okay so I couldn't tell you the real story because
01:19:41
it was an ex-police officer who was who made me do it and they're like okay so he says that he got caught
01:19:49
doing a $500,000 cocaine like the guy framed him for a cocaine sale and if he didn't kill my nana, he was going to kill her kids.
01:20:02
I'm already lost. Yeah, yeah. And then he also gave reason that his friend was also an RCMP officer
01:20:10
and since the guy could point to him and say, hey, he's a crooked cop. Oh, and he also said his private investigation firm
01:20:20
was investigating RCMP's involvement with terrorist organizations. No. So, but every time they keep going,
01:20:30
yeah, but you're still not saying why you did it. You killed your wife. Yeah. Yeah.
01:20:34
So, and what happened was they keep saying, yes, but you've planned this. You tried to kill her.
01:20:40
It didn't work. You tried again. And when they caught him, he had a ticket to the States and $500 in his pocket.
01:20:47
So he was planning on peace and ass. Yes, for sure. Down the manhole. Down that manhole.
01:20:52
Right to America. So. Isn't that what you want? Right? Isn't that what you need right now?
01:20:59
Oh, you could just go down a manhole. Yeah. To Ontario, California. Gorgeous. So gorgeous there.
01:21:07
So she is survived by her four beautiful children, and we all still talk about her every day.
01:21:15
And what's her name? Her name's Edwina. What's her last name? Her maiden name is Jones.
01:21:22
Edwina Jones. Amazing. Yes, that was amazing. Great job. Amazing. Thank you, Alex.
01:21:34
That's how you do a hometown murder. There it is. You're all forgiven. Great job, this team.
01:21:43
But I did see one of their faces when she goes, the one next door when she goes,
01:21:47
my grandmother was murdered. the girl went oh you didn know the story Oh my God We love Canada You guys thank you so much for having us
01:22:02
It's always a fucking pleasure coming here. It's amazing. We played this theater the last time we were here.
01:22:07
And it's an incredible room to be in. But you guys are just such a great crowd. And it's very cool to go to a different country.
01:22:20
and have people like you there too. That's exciting. Yeah. That's my speech. Thank you, guys.
01:22:33
We always say this, but honestly, we are just constantly in awe of this entire thing that's happening.
01:22:40
The customs person said, my favorite murder. My favorite murder. Yeah, and then let us on through.
01:22:47
she didn't feel strongly about it she just didn't love it so we just can't believe we
01:22:54
get to do stuff like this and go to other fucking places and and talk to people yeah faces it's
01:22:59
great and we get to see you guys i mean we say this all the time too but it really does the
01:23:03
coolest thing is when we meet people in the meet and greet and people go i came here by myself
01:23:07
and this is like a room full of my friends there's something about this community
01:23:11
that you guys are building that is magical and beautiful. And thank you so much.
01:23:16
It's amazing. It really is. I won't do what I did last night, which is almost fuck the audience over
01:23:25
because I wanted to say, stay saved, do God's missions. That's what I... She fucking did that.
01:23:36
She goes, stay saved. And then halfway through, I was like, oh no. I go, stay saved.
01:23:41
And the audience is like, what the fuck? Fuck you. But instead of that, I will say, stay sexy.
01:23:50
And don't get hurt. Thanks, Toronto. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this,
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