00:00:00
This is exactly right. It's Hero.co. Per serving not a low-calorie food. Some products contain allulose.
00:00:33
See nutrition info on Hero.co for sodium and sugar content. Why is it always chaos when we link up?
00:00:38
Because nobody plans anything, bro. Good thing the Rogue's ready like that. For real.
00:00:42
Rain, dirt, whatever. Available all-wheel drive. Five modes. We still outside. And they got some kick, too.
00:00:49
That turbo? Torque is crazy. The most in its class. It moves, moves. Rogue doesn't mess around.
00:00:55
And peep the space. Merch on merch. Gear. Mikes. All of it fits. Load up, we out.
00:01:01
2026 Nissan Rogue, built for all of it. Auto Pacific Segmentation, 2026 Rogue versus latest in-market competitors in the ex-SUV
00:01:10
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00:01:15
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00:01:24
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00:01:39
It's time to get Brex AF Learn more at brex.com slash AF hello welcome to my favorite murder this is the minisode where we read you your shit
00:02:06
you write to us we read it aloud you've got us trained yeah let's stop pretending
00:02:12
you want to go first i can but do you want to change it up and go first since i always go first
00:02:18
i can do you have a good end there end year yes okay let's do that then okay this one's called
00:02:24
badass granny with badass stories yes this one's totally for you um hola i am nearly 60 no time
00:02:32
for chit chat that's so true you all are my spirit daughters steven is fine too damn she got you right off the bat that hurts steven just can i just say this
00:02:45
you can do that to me maybe you could visit doing it to georgia don't do it to steven
00:02:50
don't do it he's our little porcelain kitten that's right uh that's all he my grandkid
00:02:56
mini murderinos told me uh i need to tell you all a couple stores and suggested the subject line
00:03:01
in the early 90s i joined the ymca located downtown in a midwestern capital city oh she's
00:03:07
like not even going to tell us where she is. Just tell us. We've been to all of them. Truly.
00:03:11
I was psyched to go to the gym before work like an adult. I arrived for my first day of health and
00:03:16
the front doors are locked, but it's definitely open. I can see healthy people inside doing health
00:03:20
things. What the fuck? So I began to walk around this city-sized block building in the pre-dawn,
00:03:26
clutching my coffee mug in one hand, my work clothes in the other, looking for a way in.
00:03:30
As I'm questing, a random man comes strolling down the sidewalk, presumably going about his
00:03:35
random business. We exchange mumbled good mornings. It's the Midwest where it's only not rude to say,
00:03:41
wait, I don't even know how to read this. It's only not rude to not say good morning.
00:03:45
If it's a whole herd of city people. So you don't have to say good morning to everybody,
00:03:51
but if there's one other person you have to. Yes, exactly. As he passes me, he reaches back
00:03:56
and grabs my fucking ass from behind right up between my legs all the way to fucking Christmas.
00:04:02
no all the way to christmas motherfucker i lost my shit i swung around and started beating him
00:04:12
about the face with my mug screaming i have your face in my head and i will kill you
00:04:16
over and over until he turned and ran the fuck away it's true though then it says thermos brand
00:04:25
mugs circa 1990 super sturdy great lids yeah promo code murder um then i then immediately found
00:04:32
the y entrance of course eye roll and marched right in there jacked up like cocaine kathy
00:04:38
livid they didn't inform me about an early morning entrance thus endangering my fucking life
00:04:42
and exposing me to pre-dawn perverts the desk so she basically just took her rage at being
00:04:48
assaulted on the street and barfed it all over everybody that works at the y yes but i see her
00:04:53
point it's like you're gonna make people go upset down weird alleys to find the entrance and not tell
00:04:58
people sure sure um the dusty the desk dude seems super concerned and kept asking me if i'm sure
00:05:04
i'm okay i'm like yes i'm fucking okay but you people etc so she was doing what you love okay
00:05:10
i stomp on down to the women's locker room steam surely rolling off of me in my wake
00:05:15
um to see multiple reflections of in the mirrors of blood spattered on my face and torso what
00:05:23
That's why the kid was so concerned. This shocked me back into myself. And I realized that the entire time I was beating on this perv, I was reaching up over
00:05:30
my head. I'm five three. He was that much bigger than me. I made him bleed and run.
00:05:35
I was fucking delighted to realize that all the abuse from my past had consolidated into
00:05:39
one big ball of rage looking for a target. How I avoided getting his blood on my work clothes.
00:05:45
I don't know. It was a minor miracle. Stay sexy and always carry a quality coffee mug.
00:05:50
Just call me bad granny. P My coffee mug was still full but I did not drink that coffee Holy shit Dude So the guy when she came in to be like yeah back door isn open or whatever She looks like Carrie
00:06:05
Yeah. Essentially. Yeah. And like probably he took her seriously. Yeah. Yeah. This is what happens.
00:06:11
Yes. I'll fucking, you're next. Yeah. Oh my God. Rampage it up. Grandmas. Subject line of this is the wrong way to tube.
00:06:20
Hello. I've been listening for a few months now and I've stopped doing everything else.
00:06:24
So it has been nice. Thank you. Thanks. I'm from Dallas, Texas, and people here love to go to the dirty-ass lakes and go to.
00:06:32
Yes. Now that I'm older and have a sense of health in the South, we were just raised to, quote, rub some dirt in it.
00:06:39
I realize that nothing good comes from playing in the lake. I once saw a body with a headshot wound wash up on shore, but that is not the story because that is all I know about that.
00:06:49
Oh, my God. Wow. Wow. you could google it i was out tubing with my dad uncles and brothers when i was 12 they had all been
00:07:00
drinking all day so we figured it was time to go back in i wanted to ride the tube back in but
00:07:05
luckily kept my life jacket on even though we weren't going to be going very fast my dad decided
00:07:11
to gun it and i flew off backwards the rope had way too much slack so like some final destination
00:07:18
shit, the rope wrapped around my legs, waist, neck, and face. The boat began to drag me under
00:07:25
while also constricting me, and I started to lose consciousness after what felt like nine hours,
00:07:31
but in reality was 20 seconds or so. I felt two arms lift me up, and I was taken over to the boat.
00:07:36
My dad, being a first responder, checked me over quickly and was laughing the whole time.
00:07:40
No! No! Those natty lights make shit hilarious. That's what it's like. It's no big deal to them.
00:07:48
Both of my parents were like, you could have an open bleeding wound and they'd be like, one moment.
00:07:52
No matter what. They just were not in any way moved by what is to every other normal human being an emergency.
00:08:00
You have to do so much more to qualify for an emergency. Like, it has to be exposed bone.
00:08:05
Yeah. Okay. Laughing the whole time. Any of us kids got hurt, he always remained calm so as not to freak us out.
00:08:13
it's a blessing and a curse because now I do not think anything is a big enough deal. Like that time
00:08:18
I had, like that time I had a brain tumor removed. I thought I would be back at work by Monday.
00:08:26
And my surgery was Tuesday, the Tuesday before. Didn't make that. Anyway, I finally came to all
00:08:33
the way and we just enjoyed the rest of our night. I went to school Monday and we were talking about
00:08:37
what we had done that weekend. I had really gnarly marks and rope burns. So I was showing my friends.
00:08:42
next thing i know i'm being called to the principal's office where the school counselor
00:08:46
and a social worker began questioning me about my home life thank god someone's fucking paying
00:08:51
attention to problems god bless that staff they thought my dad had purposefully done this and it
00:08:57
was a giant mess it all ended up sorted and i went tubing a few weeks later can't wait to see
00:09:02
you in dallas ssdgm and when tubing hang on for your fucking life taylor wow that's scary that's
00:09:09
the thing about that I never think about that I'm sure parents think about constantly, which is not
00:09:14
just you don't want your kid to get hurt. But when your kid gets hurt, people always have to assume
00:09:19
you may have a hand in it. Yeah. Like there's so much risk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Stupid shit all the
00:09:26
time. They don't know what they're talking about. Mommy hurt me. I don't know. Yes, exactly. Or some
00:09:31
weird comment. I love to do stuff like that. I loved to say things I'd heard adults saying. Yeah.
00:09:36
thinking it made me sound older and smart when actually I was like busting six people at a time.
00:09:41
Oh my, I had no idea what you were talking about. Okay, this one's called Fuck Politeness.
00:09:46
Great. Aloha, Karen, Georgia, Stephen, and furry friends. A classic. A classic right off the bat,
00:09:53
opening strong. A few months ago, I had a weird run in. I was on my way back to my old apartment
00:09:59
after work. I'm a dancer. I have a strip club in Honolulu. Yeah. Yeah. And it was the first Friday
00:10:05
of the month. I used to live right outside Chinatown and every first Friday, all the art
00:10:09
galleries and bars in Chinatown all have events going on and an art walk. Since most people are
00:10:14
partying in Chinatown, I decided to leave work early and enjoy a bottle of wine with my boyfriend.
00:10:19
People are partying in Chinatown instead of going to the strip club. She's jealous of the business Chinatown's getting.
00:10:25
Yeah. I took the bus home and I know it's not the best decision, but I grew up in Honolulu.
00:10:32
buses are okay right and like the idiot i am would walk to my old apartment after partying
00:10:37
till bars closed in chinatown so i felt reasonably safe especially since it was the first friday and
00:10:42
there was more foot traffic than usual also because i'm a dancer and will change into something sexy
00:10:46
at work i was uh wearing pajamas and looked crazy in the combo of sweatpants and a full face of stage
00:10:53
makeup yeah there is nothing like that the best it's so weird the only thing that's better than
00:10:57
that is if for some reason this has happened to me a couple times you have to your hair is curled
00:11:02
Yeah. Like if you have hair sprayed full hair, makeup, but then you're just wearing the dumpiest sweats in the world.
00:11:09
You feel like you're a Las Vegas showgirl. Yeah, that's right. When I was probably five minutes away from where I used to live, a car pulled up, a car pulled over beside me.
00:11:19
And this is I'm reading this because it's so crazy. I'd never even thought of this.
00:11:23
It was an old man trying to talk to me. So I paused whatever podcast I was listening to so I could hear what he was saying.
00:11:28
I thought he was going to ask for directions, but the guy said, Miss, someone is following you.
00:11:33
I responded with what the fuck where and looked around to see literally no one. He then told me that the guy was hiding in the bushes and that he can drive me wherever I'm going.
00:11:42
Oh, no. I know. What do you do? I look around again and I don't see any other people or nearby bushes.
00:11:51
I refuse the ride and the man insisted that I was not safe then my inner Chinatown rat came out and I told the man I no I fine I got pepper spray on me It on my kitchen which I already had out And if the pepper spray doesn work
00:12:05
I'll club the fucker with my seven inch heels, which I pulled out of my bag and started waving
00:12:09
around like a lunatic. Yes. He then drove away and I got home safely. My boyfriend made it to
00:12:14
my apartment with no run ins because this type of shit doesn't happen to men. Stay sexy and don't
00:12:19
get in cars with strangers. Kayla. Yes, Kayla. Isn't that weird? I have never thought of that.
00:12:24
Someone's following you. Let me help you. And you're like, get in. Yes. Because you're reacting to your, the assumption is if they're telling you something like that,
00:12:31
they're automatically good. Right. Which of course, that's logical. It's like, you have to just hang out for a second to put two and two together.
00:12:39
And what if it is true? What if it is true? I mean, that's the creepiest thing of all is old man and he's hiding now.
00:12:47
Yeah. Of course, because that's natural. That's what would happen. Scary. Oh, Kayla, you nailed it.
00:12:52
Kayla, thank you for letting us all know. Yes, because you should have a thing on your person that enables you to not have to get into a car.
00:13:01
Right. If possible. Pepper sprays are great. It's always a different situation. Yeah.
00:13:05
But she, that was ideal. Also, I imagine those plexiglass shoes. Yes. There's like specialty dancer shoes.
00:13:12
Yes. That are dangerous. They're like weapons. Good. Hooray. That was inspiring.
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00:13:47
Bro, from the show last night to this drive, why is it never chill? Because this is our life.
00:13:53
Backstage, on the road, it's loud, messy, real. And that's the best part. Whole crew, no plan, just moving.
00:14:01
Good thing Nissan builds for that kind of chaos. Not just test tracks, real life scenes.
00:14:06
Late nights, road trips, all of it. That's why it holds up. Nissan was ranked number one in initial quality among mainstream brands by JD Power.
00:14:14
Yeah, you can tell. 2026 Nissan Rogue built for what really happens. For J.D. Power 2025 U.S. Initial Quality Study Award information, visit jdpower.com slash awards.
00:14:26
Awards based on 2025 model year. Newer models may be shown. If your best finance people are doing expense reports, chasing receipts, or spending time on month-end clothes,
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00:14:42
Learn more at brex.com slash AF. This subject line will give it away. Hello, Karen, Georgia, Stephen, and furry friends.
00:14:51
Great. Everybody likes it. Everyone's on board. I'm from Bakersfield, California, where a lot of crazy shit goes down.
00:14:57
Oh, we know. Here in Los Angeles, we are very aware of Bakersfield. Oh, we talk about Bakersfield.
00:15:03
That's all we talk about. Behind its back. Every day. But there was one story in particular that I felt needed to be shared.
00:15:09
It was quite a crazy story, especially since the woman involved was pretty well known in town.
00:15:14
So one evening, this doctor shows up to her on-again, off-again boyfriend's house,
00:15:18
but he wouldn't let her in because he didn't want to see her. He leaves out the back door and stays the night elsewhere.
00:15:25
She then attempts to break into his house, first by trying to use a shovel to get into the back door,
00:15:30
but then proceeded to break in by sliding down the chimney feet first. No, no, no, no.
00:15:35
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That plan didn't work out so well for her because she got stuck and ended up dying of suffocation.
00:15:42
when she didn't show up for work the next day her staff was like what the fuck and reported her
00:15:47
missing her body was found three days later when the house sitter smelled something funky coming
00:15:52
from the fireplace firefighters spent five hours demolishing the chimney to get her body out stay
00:15:58
sexy and never try to break in your boyfriend's house by sliding down the chimney rachel what
00:16:03
that's got to be the worst way to go it's so terrible woman why didn't he want to see her
00:16:09
well I mean who knows who knows that all of that is like it feels like their story but that also
00:16:16
happened to somebody in LA recently and there was the story remember the guy there was like um
00:16:22
a burglar that was running in a van yes and went into the column yes and it's basically same
00:16:29
accident version of this yeah where he fell into a column yeah and couldn't get out and just was
00:16:35
trapped inside. Oh, God. I don't want any of it. Just the worst. Please. No. Don't
00:16:41
stay away from all of these things. Stay away from things. You know what? If someone
00:16:45
doesn't want you in their house, if they're like, no, you can't come in. Yeah. That's the end of the story from you
00:16:51
in that house. Yeah. I mean, sure. Try the back door. We've all been crazy. We've all
00:16:55
been crazy ex-girlfriends before. Now, look, you can crawl under the house. If he's being a
00:17:00
if it's on him, he's being a dick. Get into that. You need to go in and get your whatever.
00:17:05
you need to bring some lime and sprinkle it over yourself and die in his crawl space fine fine oh
00:17:11
jesus okay this is called grandma kept what in her freezer i'm all about grandmas today greetings
00:17:17
mfm humans and animals that's a good one greetings greetings huge fan of your podcast and sad i missed
00:17:23
you in des moines that's all you should be it was amazing so fun so fun this isn't technically a
00:17:29
found in the wall story but it was something we found my grandpa my grandparents freezer
00:17:33
Disgusting, sad, or funny. I'll let you guys be the judge of that. Yay. My grandpa recently moved into an assisted living facility, so we have been going through
00:17:40
and clearing out his house, getting it ready to sell. My mom was going through the freezer and found a small Whitman's chocolate sampler box.
00:17:48
The poor man sees. But at least they have a map. They do have a map. Whitman has the map You right And I think that a value above rubies I wanted to get you a ruby necklace for Valentine Day but
00:18:06
No, just get me Whitman's samplers. I got it. Okay. It seemed odd to freeze a small box of chocolate.
00:18:11
So out of curiosity, my mom opened the box. Spoiler alert, it wasn't chocolate. No.
00:18:16
Nope, it was my grandma's two dead betta fish. Carefully tucked into a perfectly folded Kleenex.
00:18:23
Oh. She killed them. No, I'm not. Turns out when the fish died nearly 10 years ago, my grandma didn't have the heart to flush them.
00:18:31
So instead, she placed them in the chocolate box and put them in the freezer. I'm not sure why a chocolate box in a freezer seemed like a better burial.
00:18:39
It seemed like a better idea than burial at sea. But that was my grandma. She always did things a little differently, but always with the best intentions.
00:18:46
And always in the freezer. And always in the freezer. Unfortunately, she passed away in 2014.
00:18:50
And I think grandpa either forgot the fish were in there or he kept them to honor her memory.
00:18:55
I was the first one. That's just exactly who you and I are. I'm like, let's say it's that you're like, it's not.
00:19:03
Well, I don't want my memory honored with two dead fish in a chocolate box. Okay, that's fair.
00:19:08
He didn't get her a gravestone, but he got her two. But he saved her fish. He refused to bury her body.
00:19:13
But look at these beta fish. Yeah. Either way, I'm quite disturbed to know I've been eating popsicles that were sitting amongst a couple of dead fish, which I mean, you freeze fish all the time.
00:19:25
It's just not your pets. Yeah, it's usually I mean, yeah. And then and now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure my mom put them right back where she found them.
00:19:34
So who knows where they are, where they will end up. SSDGM Mel. That's so hilarious.
00:19:41
Of course, the first thing I thought of, though, is he had like $1,000 bills wrapped up in that box.
00:19:47
Because you know the old people and squirreling stuff away. Send us those emails, too.
00:19:51
Yes. Send us your weird grandparent stories. We just love them. We love them. And the cavalcade of surprises that everyone's grandparents have wrapped up in an old lunch bag underneath a counter.
00:20:06
Like, just look around. Just see what you can find. Bread boxes are a treasure trove.
00:20:10
That's right. Especially if it's in a garage. Like something from the kitchen that's been put out into the garage. Look through that thing. Because when I was the first house we lived in in Petaluma, there was a kitchen set up in the garage. And it was basically when my parents redid the kitchen. They just took out all his cabinets and put them into the garage and use them in the garage. And I was out there one day fucking around. And I found a lunch bag filled with metal dollhouse furniture. And I still have it to this day.
00:20:39
you kept it oh yeah it was like real it was cool it was like i reached up i did stuff like this all
00:20:45
the time where i just go through everything hell yeah and i just reached up and i thought it was
00:20:49
because it was in the garage and it was a lunch bag that was all oily so i thought it was going
00:20:52
to be a bag of nails and screws yeah like or donuts shit yeah or just a nice bag of fried
00:20:59
chicken that someone left there for us yeah some cronut but instead it was this like really old and
00:21:05
seemingly valuable although i don't think it actually is true i want to see it will you bring
00:21:09
me just one piece 100 i'm bringing the little red chair i love miniature shit i mean i don't know
00:21:14
why i don't have a dollhouse wait do you know about the miniature chef that the tiny chef the
00:21:20
tiny chef so much do you know that laura my sister and my niece nora were looking through the tiny
00:21:26
chef and watching it and all of a sudden the tiny chef had an mfm thing we're best friends he comments
00:21:32
the tiny chef go follow him on instagram he follows uh he says hello to mimi whenever
00:21:37
but you know that that's the girl his owner is the girl who made us those tiny our last meals
00:21:45
that's what i said i told my sister i thought that because she said i think the i think you
00:21:52
know the tiny chef and i was like the only way i know the tiny chef is if the tiny chef made us our
00:21:57
last meals. He did. And then she said, but were they vegan meals? Because the tiny chef is
00:22:01
vegan. That's right. It's Rachel Larson, right, Steven? Yeah, it was. But she in the note, it was like, these are
00:22:07
the only non-vegan meals I've made. Yes, yes. Awesome. And I, yeah. Oh, God, I feel it. Okay, I'll tell you something later. Well, the Kilgaris
00:22:13
are huge fans. We all are. I'm the tiny chef. I just love him. I didn't catch up. I didn't understand
00:22:19
what was happening. I will. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. me? Maybe it's the most special. Okay. This subject line gives this away, so I won't read it.
00:22:30
It just starts. Okay. So since Karen likes to get to the meat of things without preamble,
00:22:35
I'll jump straight into one of my favorite of my dad's stories. My dad is a retired first responder.
00:22:41
All of mine are first responder stories. We're in themes. He was not there for this event,
00:22:47
but from the first time he told it, I've never forgotten. They had gotten a 911 call for a body in a pool
00:22:53
and responded only to find a DOA scene. The crew did whatever it was supposed to do
00:22:59
and then helped with the retrieval process. They apparently pulled the body out of the water
00:23:05
and in the process, that compressed whatever air was left out of the body's stomach and lungs
00:23:10
and the very dead body said, Oh, no. Quick anatomy recap. I was going to say autonomy recap.
00:23:17
Quick anatomy recap. Air moving past the vocal cords makes sound. The guys dropped the body that just moaned at them back into the pool and ran for it.
00:23:26
You think they would have known that, right? I guess. I don't know. They were new or it just hadn't happened to them yet.
00:23:32
It was their first day. It was six people's first day. Yeah, that's right. Don't start everybody once.
00:23:37
Not the whole freshman class. They came back and finished the job once they calmed down and realized they weren't trapped
00:23:43
in their own personal night of the living bed. Please pet the cats for me and the fiercely private dogs to see.
00:23:50
P.S. The best story from working in medicine so far is the patient who came in and said to me they needed to see a doctor because their eye bill.
00:23:59
Because. Eyeball fell out? No. Yeah. To me, they needed to see a doctor because their eyeball fell out.
00:24:07
It was Halloween. They said they just pushed it back in because they didn't know what else to do.
00:24:13
I'm still not over it. No. I don't like eyeball stories. That was a particularly terrible one, too.
00:24:21
Why did you end on that? Remember when I was like, do you have a good ender? And you're like, yes.
00:24:24
Yeah, that's not the best. do you have an ender I would like oh I didn't realize I didn't realize but you did the the
00:24:33
eyeball killer that's right I was not expecting that I just wasn't prepared well you know why
00:24:39
that's not a ps story that's a top of the email story that's the story what's the subject line
00:24:45
first responder quote what a dead body sounds like light-hearted you guys have a different
00:24:52
understanding of the word lighthearted. We all have different... Me and C have different I just thought that was funny because it like what else are you supposed to do Keeping in a little Dixie cup What would you do I thought it I just didn think it was going to go that way
00:25:07
Pushed it back in. Well, now we know. You know, it's like a dislocated shoulder.
00:25:11
Pop it. You just got to pop your eye back in. I can't do that. Can you do it? There you go.
00:25:16
Did you hear it? Yeah. You got it. Oh, um, except right after you, this is almost over.
00:25:23
And then it's going to, don't worry. Get ready. Don't worry. And then after this, we're on our feed is the very first episode, the very first.
00:25:31
It's not a fucking April Fool's joke episode of Jensen and Holes. The murder squad are the new fucking podcast on Exactly Right Network.
00:25:37
Episode one. It's real. It's happening. We've waited so long. It's finally happening.
00:25:42
Paul Holes is on our fucking network, you guys. Billy Jensen. His book I'm listening to right now.
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Isn't it good? Uh-huh. Chase Darkness with me. And yeah, get Billy's book. But right now, get ready for the debut episode.
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And go subscribe because we just going to play this first one so everyone hears it on our feed And then go subscribe Rate review review subscribe give them their good ratings so that that podcast does well yeah and here they are
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jensen and holes oh uh stay sexy oh and don't get murdered bye elvis you want a cookie
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this episode is brought to you in part by vital farms have you noticed that the egg section at
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the grocery store has gotten very complicated lately but vital farms makes it simple pasture
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raised eggs traceable to the farm. Their hens have outdoor access year round with fresh air and
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sunshine and forage on rotated pastures with local grasses. Every carton can be traced back to the
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farm it came from so you can see the pasture where the hens live by visiting vitalfarms.com
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slash farm. Look for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit vitalfarms.com to learn more.
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Vital Farms, good eggs, no shortcuts. Goodbye. Running a business shouldn't feel like surviving a software group project.
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One app for accounting, another for inventory, another for sales, and somehow none of them
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Try for free today at odoo.com slash iHeartRadio. That's O-D-O-O-O dot com slash iHeartRadio.
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Okay, laundry stinks. Literally. I mean, you could just keep buying new underwear.
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Not that I've ever done that. Or maybe sort your clothes into piles based on how re-wearable or filthy they are.
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Or just use Arm & Hammer Deep Clean. It's made for real-life stinks and stains. So even if you don't do laundry the, quote, right way, Deep Clean will knock it out.
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I mean, it is from the number one liquid detergent brand that tackles more loads than any other.
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Come clean with Arm & Hammer Deep Clean. Number one claim based on total wash loads sold.