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selling a persona of confidence and care, patients trusted him. He wore cowboy boots in the operating room
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and became sought after by patients. He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies.
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This is a story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice. Listen to Dr. Death the Cowboy wherever you get your podcasts
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Terms and conditions apply. See Pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. My favorite murder
00:01:58
That's very weird. What are you doing? Hi. Are you doing okay? Hi, we're with you.
00:02:03
But at the same time, we'd love for you to take a look in the mirror right now and tell us what is going on.
00:02:08
Say your name out loud. One, two, three. Marie. Oh. Marie? Okay. I was doing some role playing.
00:02:17
You were doing someone else. I was doing me. It's fun. This is how it is. It's fun.
00:02:21
It's wild. It's crazy. Here we go. Are you ready? Go. So, subject line of story number one is librarian story.
00:02:28
Yes. And then I'm going to stop reading because it's just a giveaway of what the thing is.
00:02:33
Hey, MFN crew. Nuh-uh. Yes. MFN. You're a librarian? My favorite nerd. You asked for librarian stories in Minnesota 119.
00:02:43
So, here is my story from when I worked as a library assistant during undergrad.
00:02:47
I worked in this library from 18 to 22. and as one of the student assistants, I was tasked with manning the library alone from 6 p.m. until closing at midnight.
00:02:57
No, no. When was this? No. 1970 fucking five? Who would do that? Now, this was a small campus in a small town,
00:03:04
and despite the fact that I was manning the desk alone all night, I felt very safe in the well-lit library.
00:03:11
Incorrect. Yeah, you're wrong. Your instincts are wrong on that one. Light means nothing.
00:03:15
Light means nothing. After my shift ended, I would wait for security to walk up, lock up the library, and they would offer me a walk back to the dorms.
00:03:24
When I first took the job, sometimes I took them up on it. Other times I would refuse and headed back by myself.
00:03:29
You're being polite. No, it's fine. It's too far. Take the walk. Yes. But also make sure the security guard isn't a psychopath, too.
00:03:36
Don't go down that path all the way. There has to be trust. Okay. Okay. And also, at this point, if you went to that school and you worked there, probably maybe would have known that security guard or had a familiarity.
00:03:48
But, okay. Small town, small campus. Let's do it. This is not Sac State. The world is the Sac State, Georgia, which is what you always think.
00:03:55
I always think the world's Sac State, and I'm always proven wrong. Okay. She then ends that paragraph by saying, this story takes place while I was 18.
00:04:04
So, basically saying, I realize. Okay. Okay, so now this was the type of liberal arts college where you could know the face, if not the name of everyone who attended.
00:04:12
Oh, that's probably why I said that to you, because I pre-read this. Oh, right. Not stupid.
00:04:18
But even if it wasn't, it would be clear that this one guy didn't belong. The other library assistants called him movie guy because he was always trying to talk about the movie script he was writing or filming.
00:04:30
Run the fuck away. And that's not a personal safety issue. That's a boredom issue.
00:04:34
As someone who's lived in Los Angeles for 20 years, no one wants to hear about your idea you haven't done.
00:04:41
Sorry, I've had a lot of coffee. He was an older local man, rail thin with an odd smell.
00:04:47
That means something. Odd smells? Yes. It means something. You're not self-aware.
00:04:52
Yes. And you smell. You're not paying attention to the right things. Right. And you smell.
00:04:57
His mannerisms spoke of someone either doing drugs or suffering from some mental health problems.
00:05:01
the guys who worked late at night called him harmless and entertaining, but he set off lots of alarm bells for me.
00:05:07
For example, once he stood at the desk and told me in detail about a film he was working on where a young woman's body,
00:05:14
parentheses with hair like mine, he made sure to point out, washed up on the bank of a river and proceeded to describe
00:05:19
exactly how he would want the body to look and how he would film it. Oh my God. How he would have his protagonist cradle the body and caress her face.
00:05:30
This quite creepy description had me letting security walk me to the dorm while I informed them about Movie Guy.
00:05:38
Security didn't seem that concerned, of course not, but told me that I could always call and that, quote,
00:05:43
it would only take five minutes for them to sprint across campus to me if there was a problem, end quote, as if a lot couldn't happen in five minutes.
00:05:51
That's in the email. Now the library layout was such that there was a large desk in the front and behind that was an enclosed employee only room where I would sometimes have to work on processing new books Sorry I losing it
00:06:07
On this particular night, the movie guy had caught me several times as I made my rounds
00:06:11
through the library. He would try to talk to me about his creepy movie and I would make an excuse
00:06:15
to move to another part of the library to help someone or I would escape into the employee only
00:06:19
section. Still, every hour, I would have to come out of that area and do a lap at the library.
00:06:25
After one of these laps, I was just sitting down in the employee-only area when I heard a sound
00:06:30
behind me. I turned around, and there was Movie Guy moving quickly into the employee-only room
00:06:35
and, in effect, boxing me in. I can only assume it was the look on my face of pure fear and shock,
00:06:41
along with the fact that I quickly grabbed the security phone that caused him to sheepishly stop,
00:06:46
stumble over his words saying something about a script and then back out of the employee only
00:06:50
area i gripped the phone as i watched him go back to his normal table and tried not to completely
00:06:55
lose it shaking i had to call security and they handled escorting him out of the library and off
00:07:00
campus i always let security walk me to the dorm after that and a few days later i was informed
00:07:06
that he had been banned from campus yay because i wasn't the only person he was freaking out
00:07:11
Part of me has always felt bad because maybe he was just a lonely, crazy person who meant no harm and just wanted a friend.
00:07:18
More of me, however, is like, fuck that guy and fuck my coworkers for making me think I was wrong in being creeped out by him.
00:07:25
That's exactly right. I love your podcast and all the others on the Exactly Right Network.
00:07:30
Keep up all the good work you guys both do. And thank you for my new favorite catchphrase you introduced me to.
00:07:36
quote, if you don't make enough of your own neurotransmitters, store bought is fine.
00:07:43
SSDGM, Emily. That's amazing. I'd like to go ahead and say that we didn't make that one up,
00:07:47
but we've said it. So I don't want to take full responsibility. Oh, the neurotransmitters quote?
00:07:51
Yeah. Well, I was going to say, the beginning of that paragraph bothered me. Part of me has
00:07:55
always felt bad because maybe he was just a lonely, crazy person. Because there is a difference.
00:08:01
There are gradations of that. And you know the difference. And the difference is that someone
00:08:06
doesn't look you in the eye and describe a dead body that looks like you washing up.
00:08:10
And you had plenty of reasons above and beyond to be like, I want this guy out of here.
00:08:16
Right. And even if you're not totally sure you there's only one way to find out.
00:08:19
And that's by being attacked. Exactly. So you're allowed to follow your instincts.
00:08:23
And if it was other women who were threatened by him as well, then you're, you know, you're
00:08:27
correct. Yes. You're and it must be satisfying because ultimately she was like, oh, yeah, not only it wasn't
00:08:33
my little petty problem. He's banned from campus. It's just so annoying when people are like,
00:08:38
he's harmless. And it's like, you're a dude. He can't attack you the way he can attack us.
00:08:42
Yeah. That's you don't don't ask dudes. They don't know. They're not having the same experience.
00:08:46
And men don't tell women people are harmless when they're threatened by them. Right. You're especially your weird friends. Okay.
00:08:53
Here's one called my sister, the prison librarian. Okay. Hey, oh, my sister's first job after earning
00:08:59
her master's degree in library science was as the head librarian at a maximum security prison
00:09:04
and she wrote as you do as you do of course this prison has the worst of the worst of society but
00:09:09
after months of searching for a job and to the horror of my parents she decided to go for it
00:09:14
we could we could literally spend hours talking about the oddities of this job and the characters
00:09:19
that my sister encountered on a daily basis my work stories always paled in comparison to what
00:09:24
she brought to the table at family functions. While I complained about people who couldn't get
00:09:29
to work on time, she talked about sending guys to, quote, segregation for threatening to find her on
00:09:34
Facebook after they got out, or for telling everyone that she was sleeping with her library
00:09:38
clerk, also a prisoner. One day, while on her way back to her library, she was passing through a
00:09:44
stairwell that is accessible to both prisoners and staff. To avoid any confrontation, a guard is posted
00:09:48
to lock and unlock the doors to the stairwell, allowing for safe passage for the staff. When my
00:09:53
sister got to the bottom of the stairwell. She found that the exit door was locked. When she
00:09:57
looked up at the guard station, it appeared empty. After a brief time debating what to do,
00:10:02
she heard the door at the top of the stairs open and footsteps starting to come down. Aside from
00:10:07
this being a generally frightening situation, at this particular time, it was known that a gang
00:10:11
leader was very upset with my sister. And it says, insert obvious joke here, overdue books, perhaps.
00:10:17
and she knew that uh such an obvious joke and she knew that if a member of that gang were to appear
00:10:25
on those stairs it was quote not going to be good as she puts it when the person came to the landing
00:10:31
leading down to where my sister stood she realized that he was a prisoner but not a gang member he
00:10:36
explained that he was on his way to bible study and proceeded to talk to her about god as she
00:10:40
nonchalantly attempted to catch the attention of the guard who had returned to his post and had
00:10:44
unknowingly let a prisoner into the stairwell without realizing that she was waiting at the
00:10:49
bottom. Thankfully, the guard quickly noticed her standing there and buzzed her through the door.
00:10:53
My sister made a habit out of looking up the offenders she encountered in the prison's database.
00:10:57
She did this because many of the men that came to the library were friendly. Only the, quote, good ones with privileges were allowed to actually enter the library.
00:11:05
And some of the offenders were actually considered part of her staff and worked with her every day.
00:11:10
Checking their history in the database helped her to keep an emotional distance between herself
00:11:14
and these men who seemed friendly despite the horrendous things they had done to earn their spot
00:11:19
in the prison. When my sister returned from her encounter in the stairwell, she researched the
00:11:24
man she had been trapped with there and all caps. He had been previously charged with raping a man
00:11:30
in a fucking stairwell. No. Yeah. Oh my fucking God. Needless to say, the warden flipped his lid
00:11:37
and the stairwell guard got in some kind of trouble. Can't remember now. My sister, shaken up
00:11:42
but undeterred, continued to work there for another year before accepting a position
00:11:46
at a much safer, albeit much more boring, research library. Believe it or not, she misses her prison gig,
00:11:53
as it did afford her the opportunity to take part in the rehabilitation that takes place behind bars She left some disappointed offenders who hadn had a literary advocate on their side in quite some time They even drew her a giant farewell card
00:12:06
complete with Disney characters and signed with their names and prisoner ID numbers.
00:12:10
She has some of their artwork hanging in her office today. Anyways, you guys are great and make my commute worth it.
00:12:16
Stay sexy and don't get caught in a stairwell with a rapist. Natalie. Jesus. What a reveal.
00:12:21
Like, it's later. Yeah. It's not even like as it happens. It's so much later and still so scary.
00:12:27
It would have been bad enough that she had gotten caught in there with a prisoner.
00:12:30
Everything ended up fine. But that specific little detail is just insane. Because also then the first thing I think is, does that prisoner stand by that door and wait?
00:12:39
Because he fucking loves stairwells so much. Dude, maybe. I mean, like, it's probably not that easy for like a prisoner just to slip by.
00:12:48
Right, at that exact moment. Yeah. It's like he has a stairwell fetish. It's so horrifying.
00:12:53
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00:15:02
Goodbye. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent.
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The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14. Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense,
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It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye.
00:15:47
uh the subject line of this is i didn't fuck politeness and almost paid the price
00:15:54
light-hearted okay okay hey mfm fam this was one of the scariest things that has ever happened to
00:15:59
me but people really seem to love the story so i thought you guys would like it too thank you
00:16:03
one night i was waiting for my friend to get out of her shift at the mall the parking lot had
00:16:07
cleared out and i was waiting in my car by the secret side entrance that employees use
00:16:12
Out of nowhere, a middle-aged white guy started walking towards my car. Since I was parked by the sidewalk, I assumed he was just going to walk right by, but still had that feeling of, quote, lock your doors.
00:16:23
Well, I was worried about what this random ass stranger thought of me by hearing me auto lock my doors.
00:16:30
I get it. Yes, I get the same thing. To my horror, homeboy opens the door and tries to get the fuck in.
00:16:37
I thought to myself oh hell no Motherfucker is gonna work for this bitch Oh Oh hell no
00:16:44
Motherfucker is gonna work for this bitch Got it got it got it And I put my car in drive and started driving with him
00:16:51
Half in and out of the car So he was crab walking quickly with one leg in And one leg out
00:16:57
I was going to gun it when he screamed Equally terrified Wrong car wrong car I could tell he was genuine
00:17:06
genuine so i stopped my car and we both apologized profusely can you imagine what he was thinking he
00:17:11
was just thinking his sweet wife debbie is coming to pick him up from his trip to the mall and before
00:17:16
he can even say hi or see who's in the car you're trying to survive having your legs run over well
00:17:21
anyways he went back to the curb to wait for his ride and i continued to wait for my friend
00:17:25
and every once in a while we would make sharp all caps painful eye contact with each other oh god
00:17:31
both thinking we were going to die. I'm still kind of proud that I had that reaction. I always
00:17:36
thought if I was in that situation, I would just squeeze my boobs and scream. Anyway,
00:17:42
stay sexy. Always lock your car doors, if anything, to avoid an awkward ass situation.
00:17:47
Mariah. Amazing, Mariah. You should be proud of yourself. I think so, too. Yeah.
00:17:53
I mean like sorry but you got in Yeah that a split second decision And you fucking now you now you kind of know going forward that you can trust yourself and your instincts if something happens Yes which is a really great feeling I think For sure Also what are the odds that she driving the car that he knows to get
00:18:09
into? Yeah, no, it's it's bananas. I've done something similar without those consequences.
00:18:14
Because you thought you're getting into a Lyft? Yeah, yeah. Which now you know, they're saying
00:18:18
like there's this along a lot of campuses, they're saying that you have to make sure like check the
00:18:22
license plate number before you get in because women have been kidnapped or like there's people
00:18:27
who purposely wait near a lift. So someone gets in, they kidnap them. They just think, yeah.
00:18:32
Well, also, I don't, that's how I identify my lift is the license plate. Yeah. Usually. Let's
00:18:38
just all make sure we do that every time. Okay. We're all fine. Okay. St. Louis VIP hometown.
00:18:43
Hi, Karen, Georgia, Stephen and Petz. It was nice meeting you at the St. Louis show tonight. I was
00:18:47
writing to tell you about the hometown murder that I wanted to tell on stage. I went to college at a
00:18:51
weird small liberal arts school called truman state university it's located in rural kirksville
00:18:57
missouri missouri missouri and all that the town really has to offer is meth heads and a hyvee
00:19:04
i don't know what a hyvee is i'm guessing it's some kind of grocery store h-y-v-e-e it's probably
00:19:10
some you know one of those it's a chain we don't know yeah since there was nothing to do in this
00:19:14
town the townspeople always got into all sorts of shenanigans well back in 2013 some crazy shit
00:19:20
happened. One night, police responded to a report of a vehicle on fire. Upon arrival,
00:19:25
they noticed that there were also two apartment buildings down the road. When they went, I
00:19:29
think on fire. When they went to check out the apartment fires, a few witnesses were
00:19:32
standing outside of the building and objects were being launched at them. The police took
00:19:37
a closer look at these objects, only they realized that they were human arms. Oh, I remember. Oh my God, that girl that walked away and goes, this is what I was going
00:19:46
to do. Okay, go ahead. That's right. Human fucking arms. They got the fire under control and arrested the guy who was throwing the arms.
00:19:54
It turns out that he had murdered some dude the day before because he thought the dude did something wrong to his son.
00:19:59
Since he didn't know what to do with the body and was still full of rage about this son bullshit,
00:20:03
he decided that the best thing to do would be to dismember the body and set it on fire in his apartment.
00:20:08
For some reason, he decided to keep the arms as weapons? Who knows? Perhaps even crazier than that, than the fact that he threw arms is that he pleaded not guilty.
00:20:17
Oh, dude. Pleaded not guilty. Like, what the fuck? He ended up with a bunch of charges anyway, one being first degree murder.
00:20:23
I assume he's currently in prison. That's why you don't do meth, kids. Thanks for an awesome show.
00:20:28
My life has improved so much since MFM came into my life. Stay sexy and do, sorry, stay sage and do God's mission.
00:20:35
Lindsay, P.S. I tried to bring you a gooey butter cake, but the bakery was sold out.
00:20:39
Oh. Guys, if you ever go to St. Louis, get a gooey butter cake. They're fucking great.
00:20:42
It's so crazy. It's like eating cookie dough and butter. The subject line of this one is grandma finds treasure after grandpa death.
00:20:50
Oh, yay. Hey, all. A few years ago, my husband's grandpa died and his grandma, being an older lady on a fixed income, was planning on selling his grandpa's guns for some extra money.
00:21:00
She has no business operating or owning a gun. So smart move. Yeah. Grandpa kept his guns in a gun safe, but she had no idea where the key was.
00:21:08
She asked my husband and me to come help look for it. She had looked in all the obvious places.
00:21:13
So we started searching in the less obvious. After scouring the house, my husband started looking through Grandpa's closet.
00:21:20
In a couple of the coats and pant pockets, he found fistfuls of small bills that totaled to about $200.
00:21:26
Wow. His grandma was stoked, but we kept searching for the key. We finally found it in one of his shoes in the back of the closet.
00:21:33
Love it. That's such a smart place that, like, then you have to tell someone you put it there.
00:21:37
Yes, and you have to remember you put it there. After the hard-earned search, we opened the safe and started inventorying the contents.
00:21:44
At some point, my husband noticed the shotgun was next to the shotgun case, which in parentheses looks like a shotgun shaped duffel bag.
00:21:53
And the case was oddly lumpy. He unzipped it and a pile of small bills came falling out.
00:21:59
The money totaled just over $12,000. Holy shit. Mostly in ones and fives. Oh my God, Grandpa.
00:22:07
From the small denominations, we were able to piece together their origin. Grandma is an avid slot player.
00:22:14
They used to go to the casino regularly, withdraw some cash, split it, and go to their separate ways to play.
00:22:19
Grandma thought Grandpa was bad luck, and he wasn't allowed to play near her. Oh, that makes me sad.
00:22:28
Instead of gambling the money every time, he would pocket it, likely where all the cash in his coat came from, and move it to the gun safe for a rainy day.
00:22:38
Turns out when he claimed to always be losing, he was just being smart and saving.
00:22:42
Grandma was relieved to have the money As she was stressing out about his funeral
00:22:47
I'll never forget the image Of a pile of money on her kitchen counter And her cursing and thanking him
00:22:53
In the same breath Stay sexy and don't assume grandpa is bad luck Nicole I love it so much
00:23:01
That's like It's like sweet and sad And smart And to me it's the romantic It's the most romantic thing
00:23:10
Which is someone thinking about you Yeah. Not like I'm thinking about you and trying to get all this credit, but just doing it like in the way that actually matters.
00:23:18
Am I wrong that that sounds like something Vince would do? Oh, absolutely. Right.
00:23:23
But yes. Vince is the person that just like, yes, he's the take care of it. Big picture guy.
00:23:28
Yeah. He like he has me sit at Buffalo while I fucking blast through a bunch of money and he goes and plays.
00:23:34
OK, good night. OK, this one's called. OK, here's a library hometown story. It starts,
00:24:00
victims, creepy corner masturbators, vague sexual harassment, and teenagers trying to watch porn.
00:24:06
But the most scary event happened less than a year after I started working there as a fresh
00:24:10
college grad. There's a bank right behind the library, and the staff driveway butts up to the
00:24:14
drive-thru teller window. One morning, I came to work to see cops swarming the parking lot.
00:24:20
I went inside and found my assistant director visibly shaken and near tears as she tells me
00:24:24
that Janice, one of the consultants at the bank, had been shot in an attempted robbery.
00:24:30
The perp had apparently been staking out the bank from across the street and had followed Janice home one evening to her house that was less than a block from the bank.
00:24:38
He had hidden her garage and car overnight. And when she got to drive to work that morning, he held her at gunpoint and forced her to open the vaults.
00:24:48
Whoa. This is why. And this is not because I'm fucking anxious, but I'm going to have a garage for the first time in my life when we move into our new house.
00:24:55
And I'm like thinking of all the ways to like make sure no one follows me in there.
00:24:58
Don't get a job at a bank. Okay. Great. Period. Everything's settled. Great. I'm going to have to call my manager and quit.
00:25:08
Hello, Bank of America. I've made a mistake. Unfortunately, the vaults have a two-person security measure on them, and Janice couldn't
00:25:17
open them alone so he shot her three times and busted out an office window and took off running up Main Street A crossing guard who worked the corner by the bank and library saw him and alert police and he was apprehended less than a mile from the bank
00:25:31
Janice was life-flighted to Memphis and survived. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Because one of the bullets had glanced off the large piece of jewelry she had been wearing.
00:25:41
Yes! What's up, broaches? Yes, broaches. Broaches. Yeah, y'all, broaches. Minimizing injury to an extent.
00:25:48
When we saw the photos of the perpetrator on the news, we realized that he had been at the library all that week and had at one point gotten into a fight over the phone while using our computers and had been belligerent with staff had asked him to keep his voice down and stop swearing.
00:26:01
Because this is a library. Gosh, darn it. He was tried in federal court, pled guilty and was sentenced to 37 years in prison.
00:26:08
Janice recovered and retired a year later and continues to be an active part of our community through volunteer work.
00:26:14
Thankfully, nothing else of that caliber has happened since then. And since my director is a former parole officer, we are always on high alert for suspicious behavior while still trying to provide fair service and open access to library materials as librarians do.
00:26:28
Yeah. SSDGM, Sarah, the library girl. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. Great library stories.
00:26:34
And yeah. Hell yeah. Janice. Fucking living through that shit. Always. Wear a brooch.
00:26:39
Yeah. Or a piece of jewelry. Yeah Awesome Thank you so much you guys for sending those stories in Send any and all stories that you have that you like to tell at parties that you want to tell at parties but you think people are going to think you weird
00:26:52
That's good. Tell the story that your friends make you tell that you think is inappropriate, but your friends are like, no, no, no.
00:26:58
Tell it again. And then you say something like, but you didn't include the part that whatever.
00:27:03
Yes. Or the ones that you want to tell other people, but you're embarrassed to. Yeah. Gross. Gross ones are fine.
00:27:09
Gross ones are great. Look, one time I got stopped at fucking TSA. Should I tell this?
00:27:13
Yes. Look, I shouldn't have started this. I had an enema in my bag and I totally forgot about it.
00:27:20
And I got stopped at TSA and they were like, ma'am, what is this? And then I was like, oh my God, please don't take that out of my bag.
00:27:25
And then she held it up for everyone to see. Was she mad at you for some reason?
00:27:30
No, she thought it was fucking hilarious. And it was later. Yeah, later. Later it was.
00:27:35
Man. Look, traveling is hard, okay? It's just hard. You don't drink enough water.
00:27:42
You don't think about what should be viewed, what wouldn't be viewed. Right. You don't take your vitamins and your probiotics.
00:27:48
So send those in. Yeah. Let's be vulnerable. We want all of it. Please be vulnerable.
00:27:52
We do it for you. We do. Do it for us. My favorite murder at Gmail. And stay sexy.
00:27:56
And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, you want a cookie? Vacation planning should feel like a breeze.
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