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Goodbye. My favorite murder god did you guess it yeah there's no way you guess what i just said shockingly this is not our first
00:02:03
episode of the show if you can fucking believe it shockingly sisters tuning in what a hundred times
00:02:10
oh at least still not going that well i feel like the our aversion to ever making an intro that would
00:02:17
actually be considered professional solid or or helpful when have we ever said we're professional
00:02:22
solid or helpful i mean never we do not make that we've never claimed that you can't find it on a
00:02:27
piece of paper yes our book is called a fucking self-help book and the self-help section wait that
00:02:31
wasn't our idea we don't want that we know we can't help you you can only not help yourself
00:02:35
um can i go first so you can go last of course i don't want my last one to be the one it's
00:02:41
fucked up okay this is just called hometown story okay hello karen torta steven and respective animal
00:02:46
types my best friend and i grew up in a tiny town in eastern washington state and spent the summer
00:02:52
in between the years of our undergrad working for the housing and dining maintenance department at
00:02:56
the university 15 minutes drive away i thought it was the university called 15 oh that's crazy it
00:03:02
must be for math majors um it's called pie the job itself was actually completely absurd our
00:03:10
duties include and our duties involved changing out every single battery and every single smoke
00:03:15
alarm on all the campus-owned dormitories and apartments amazingly enough there were enough
00:03:20
smoke alarms to pay 220 somethings good state money all summer long hell yeah well i bet you
00:03:25
that's some kind of law. Like, you cannot have a half-drained battery or whatever.
00:03:29
That's true. Depending on the size of the dorms, we'd spend anywhere from a few days
00:03:33
to a couple weeks doing batteries, and we were almost always in the halls by ourselves.
00:03:37
There was one particular hall we absolutely dreaded having to go into. Our heebie-jeebies
00:03:41
would start as soon as it appeared on our schedules, and last a solid week after we finished up. The dorm, called Stephen's
00:03:49
Hall, was built in the late 1800s and is true fact the oldest continuously inhabited building west of the mississippi wow good for
00:03:59
you good one the place looks eerily like the house of the seven gables it's filled with narrow
00:04:04
hallways with low ceilings and has almost no natural light perfect yeah from the 1800s it
00:04:10
smells mixed dingy wallpaper pink carpet and fluorescent lights and you've got a recipe for
00:04:15
the spooks sorry really quick yeah um it's a house of seven gables style house what can i ask you
00:04:22
that might cut this out what is the house of seven gables well in my mind it's um almost like a
00:04:27
victorian or maybe even pre-victorian it's literature right so it's like tall um gables
00:04:34
gables are those things that come out on really fancy houses and they have their own little
00:04:38
clark gable yeah they have a little pencil thin mustache and there's like a tower i'm just saying
00:04:44
my thing is it's an old house with fluorescent lighting that's demonic also pink carpet you
00:04:49
You know that like old folks home, pink carpet type of thing? Yeah, not cool. Not fun.
00:04:54
No. So one day our supervisor overheard us talking about how creeped out we were by having to go into Stevens alone and was like, you know, there was a girl murdered in that hall.
00:05:05
Whoa. So I went on the Internet and lo, he was correct. In the 1970s, a sweet baby angel named Joyce LePage liked to sneak into the hall in the summer, play the piano and even stay the night in the rooms there.
00:05:17
I don't know her circumstances, but it sounded like the dorm was a place of sanctuary for her.
00:05:22
One day, a custodian in the hall found a large section of carpet removed from the lobby of the building.
00:05:28
Around the same time, Joyce LePage was reported missing. Sadly, nine months later, her skeletal remains were discovered in a ravine about 10 miles from town.
00:05:36
While many theories have been explored, only one element of the story is known to be true.
00:05:41
She was most likely killed in the hall. Hmm. Her killer has never been found, but some people are continuing to search for answers to find justice for Joyce.
00:05:49
Good. I remember the story hitting me hard because I was almost the same age as Joyce when she was killed in the building,
00:05:54
and also because the idea that we can never be completely safe even in our most trusted places became a little truer that day Thank you for all you do to give people like Joyce a voice SSDGM Emily
00:06:07
Oh, nice. No, thank you for giving us credit. I also, yeah, really. But I also like the fact that those, it's like, you should listen to your gut if you go into a place and it freaks you out.
00:06:17
There's a reason. And like, we do have these instincts that, you know, modern life is kind of deadened, probably.
00:06:25
If you're creeped out on the job, quit. Run. Trust your gut. Also, if you just don't like your job, quit.
00:06:32
Yeah. I mean, get another job secured because you have to pay rent. Yeah, that is a good idea.
00:06:35
Unless you move back in with your parents. But try something fun. Like, you've always wanted a bartend.
00:06:40
Get back there. Yeah. And drink while you make drinks. One for them, two for you.
00:06:46
That's right. That's the old rule. So, the subject line is a pre-first responder hometown murder.
00:06:51
Hello, all. Okay. So, H-O-K-A-Y. Love it. In 2012, I was what I like to call a pre-first responder.
00:07:00
I was a 911 dispatcher for the county. In October, I took a 911 call from a male subject who had been out trap shooting in a field with a few of his friends.
00:07:09
He had stopped to pee off a bridge, and when he looked down, he saw the body of a woman.
00:07:14
Can you imagine the therapy he needed after that? Yeah. I sent the proper authorities out there, the actual first responders.
00:07:20
The poor woman had been in the water long enough that when they asked me to check local agencies for recent reports of missing women, they couldn't even specify a race.
00:07:29
As far as dispatching goes, this usually is where the stories end. However, not long after this job, I took a job as a parole officer, which is more of a last responding situation.
00:07:41
At least you got your humor. You're funny. That's right. About a month into this job, during my training, I sat in on a parole revocation hearing for a man who had been really been on a tear as far as his parole was concerned.
00:07:56
Positive drug tests, domestic battery charges, violation of protection orders, fighting with parole officers before my time, sadly.
00:08:03
And finally, cutting off his GPS monitor and absconding supervision. I mean, how many?
00:08:08
Is there a three strike law? There's got to be. I feel like that's all the strikes you could possibly have.
00:08:12
There's a one-strike law as a parole. Cutting off that GPS monitor should be like, ding.
00:08:18
It turns out that this man was the ex-husband of the woman in the creek and the prime suspect in her murder.
00:08:25
But he had not been charged with that crime for lack of evidence. His parole was revoked, and he was returned to prison for 15 months.
00:08:32
In July of 2014, he was released from prison. Approximately seven weeks later, two subjects were found shot to death in a burning house along with their dog.
00:08:42
our friend i know our friend from above was named as the suspect in these murders and he absconded
00:08:48
his parole again but was picked up soon after after two years of court proceedings including
00:08:53
one mistrial good god dude he finally pled guilty to two counts of murder second degree
00:08:58
and two counts of abuse of a corpse with the arson charge being uh nal process nal prost n-o-l-l-e
00:09:06
P-R-O-S-S-E-D. Never heard of that? Seems cool. We should look it up. Unfortunately, he received only 12
00:09:13
years in prison for these offenses. The good news being that he has to do all 12 years
00:09:17
and is ineligible for parole. The rumor is that these two individuals were the only ones that could implicate
00:09:23
him in the murder of his wife. So sadly, that crime probably will never be solved.
00:09:28
But the official word is that he murdered the male victim over an $80 drug dispute.
00:09:33
The female, because she wouldn't stop screaming after he shot the man and the dog for making too much noise.
00:09:39
Anyway, this has been the only crime that was more or less bookended by my career choices.
00:09:44
Stay sexy and change jobs to follow a murder case, Chelsea. That's unbelievable.
00:09:51
Okay, here's a list of things we need to change. We need a one strike law for parole violations.
00:09:56
And also you can't you can't get 12 years for two fucking murders. Yeah, ever. I mean, I know you maybe.
00:10:04
Okay. I'm going to tell the lawyers how to do this real quick. Okay. I mean, you know what?
00:10:07
Write it up first. Okay. And then submit it. Okay. Submit it in writing. Yeah. Okay.
00:10:11
Got it. Wow. That's crazy. It's so crazy. That time I was almost recruited for a sex trafficking cult.
00:10:18
Okay. And it starts, y'all. Y'all. About a month ago, my friend Lauren and I decided to meet up for a quick shopping trip and an
00:10:25
Asiai bowl. How do you say it? I think you did it right. Asiai bowl at a nearby mall.
00:10:29
This sounds like a very 16-year-old thing to say, but we're very much grown-ass women.
00:10:33
While trying to enjoy our berry bowls outside, three women approached us. They were dressed very professionally and asked if they could ask us a question.
00:10:40
We are both too polite, so we said yes. I get it. Can we ask you a question? No.
00:10:46
I know. But also, like, what are they going to fucking say? Yeah. You're just curious.
00:10:50
Kind of interesting. Yeah. One began to ask us random questions about if we had ever heard about God the mother.
00:10:55
She then proceeded to read some scripture that apparently alluded to God the mother and was asking us more questions and sharing.
00:11:02
We both had a kind of glazed over expressions. I kept eating, nodding, but not really listening.
00:11:07
It seemed like she was trying to put a feminist spin on it, but it wasn't really landing.
00:11:11
After a while, she asked if we'd be interested in coming to a Bible study class to discuss it.
00:11:16
We both very politely said no, then tried to jump back into our conversation, making it very clear we were done with the conversation.
00:11:23
Then they asked again if we'd like to give her contact info for this study, and we said no.
00:11:28
that was my emphasis but i'm imagining that's how it absolutely would be no no they eventually left we rolled our eyes but didn't give it another thought
00:11:39
until today all caps lauren sent me a screenshot of a post she saw it was a it was warning women
00:11:46
in charlotte where we where we live that there are well-dressed women approaching women at malls
00:11:50
and outside shopping centers in the area asking them to join bible studies to talk about god the mother uh see when we look this up to make sure it not a creepypasta look up God of Mother in Charlotte Okay That these women are part of a sex traffic ring slash cult
00:12:06
It warned that they are approaching younger women. Why was I momentarily flattered when I read that part?
00:12:11
I'm 37. What's wrong with me? Look, we take what we can get where we can get at least.
00:12:17
What's wrong with you is that you're our best friend. Yeah. And that no matter what, do not go with them.
00:12:22
Do not say you want to go to the Bible study. Do not give them your contact. info we're all like no shit yeah um many women started replying that they've seen them around
00:12:29
town spoken to them and that as soon as the bible study women see security or police they scatter
00:12:34
i'm just like all right i mean who among us one same with skateboarders so i mean yeah uh one
00:12:40
woman responded that she saw one of these ladies talking to a man in a blacked out van and left
00:12:44
with him oh um it's one of those things where we aren't sure if it's a weird urban legend or what
00:12:49
but considering it just happened to us we freaked out and then we both said all caps we have to
00:12:54
email our BFFs, Karen and Georgia. We both are grateful for the love of true crime and MFM because
00:13:01
it kept us from being too polite. Stay sexy and just keep eating your Aussie eyeball, Kendra and
00:13:06
Lauren. Yes, Kendra and Lauren. Good for you, girls. Very good work. Well, also, that's that
00:13:11
thing. First of all, I was like, is this NXIVM? That would be so exciting. We're like, did you
00:13:17
recognize anyone from Smallville in that conversation? But that idea that people are
00:13:22
fishing using women and you know some kind of like the we're all together in this sisters
00:13:26
her name's ivanka trump don't fucking don't buy it get away get away run away that's right um
00:13:32
steven did you find it so they're not sure the source they said they've heard these reports
00:13:38
of this group and the warnings that's creepypasta but they haven't like they haven't been able to
00:13:44
like track it down or confirm if it really is they're telling us an experience they had why
00:13:48
would they lie to us well and also just because they can't track it down doesn't mean it's not
00:13:51
a creepy thing. Right. Yeah. So it stays. This stays. Stephen, I swear to God, if you cut this,
00:13:57
I'll fucking fire you. That's my new bit. Okay. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA
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00:16:46
filet-o-fish oh i love it i love filet-o-fish hi do you really oh my god they're so good i will
00:16:50
never i never eat them and i would never will again my entire adult life but shit they're good
00:16:54
are they really it's disgusting i mean you and you know that i hate fish yeah but you seem like
00:17:00
you want to try it i'm going to right after we end it but okay hi mfm cohorts years ago my dad
00:17:07
was driving his mom my grandma around town for errands as any good catholic smack dab in the
00:17:12
middle of lent is want to do she insisted on a filet of fish for lunch girl they pulled in the
00:17:17
drive-thru procured her fish fix and started on the way home my grandma suddenly started choking
00:17:23
as she aspirated some of that flaky filet of fish crust sorry we're not laughing at a grandma no
00:17:29
No, oh my God, no. My dad jumped into action, quickly pulled to the side of the busy road,
00:17:35
went around to the passenger side of the car, and started to yank my gasping grandma from the car in order to help her.
00:17:41
Once he managed to get her on her feet outside of the car, they realized they were encircled by a dozen or so SWAT members in full gear.
00:17:48
What? My dad and grandma, who was suddenly cured from her choking by the shock of having multiple rifles pointed directly at her threw their hands up in complete confusion and probably shat a brick or two Apparently the SWAT team had been searching the area for an armed and dangerous suspect The frantic movements of my dad a behemoth of a man pulling the teeny old lady out of
00:18:09
a car grabbed their attention. Oh my god. They thought he was in the process of carjacking her.
00:18:15
They acted accordingly. Once the confusion had cleared, my grandma took full advantage of the situation, lavished
00:18:21
in all the attention and unabashedly flirted with the members of the SWAT team. Yes, girl.
00:18:25
Girl, this grandma would have too. She's living her best fucking life. Can you imagine?
00:18:30
Eating a filet of it? SWAT. That's some high level response shit. That's right. All those guys have crazy biceps.
00:18:38
They're all on keto diets. They're like... Training. They have those like kind of sunken in cheeks.
00:18:44
They can do things. And she and the ladies. Oh, yes, of course. Of course there's female SWAT members, but I'm just taking just a moment or two to talk about the men of SWAT.
00:18:59
What if this whole time I was talking about the TV show? I didn't know that's a TV show.
00:19:04
Maybe it's not. Oh, no, it's a movie with Colin Farrell. Okay, great. Thanks for all that you do and the fabulous show in Phoenix.
00:19:11
That was a good show. Yeah, yeah. Stay sexy and chew your filet of fish carefully.
00:19:15
Kristen. P.S. I recently learned that my dad, who enjoyed wandering through graveyards, forced my mom to accompany him to a cemetery at night in the dead of winter when she was nine months pregnant.
00:19:25
Oh, no. Just days before she gave birth to me. Dad. Guess the murderina gene doesn't fall too far from the tree.
00:19:33
This is called Eyeballs Middle School. Oh. All right. Okay. Hi, new Stevens mustache.
00:19:41
Does Jay have a mustache? He does. He does. Jay. I don't think of him as a mustache person.
00:19:47
I don't either. Yeah. I think of him like a five o'clock shadow, like, you know, like a detective.
00:19:53
Yeah. I don't know why. Like a detective. What if he's an undercover cop trying to bust us for something?
00:19:57
That'd be amazing. Jay, we trusted you. Jay, arrest me for eating too many Canadian Kit Kats.
00:20:03
You know what? Take me to jail. We think they've got a Kit Kat ring. What if we have a drug ring and we're just smuggling it through?
00:20:09
We're smuggling Kit Kats into the country? Look. Listen. Jay, you have to tell us if you're a cop.
00:20:13
I've been binging some old episodes and on episode 55 you discussed how hard it must be to pull out
00:20:21
somebody's eyeballs oh we did oh absolutely that can't even have been the first or last
00:20:27
well when I was in middle school I went to a summer camp for middle school girls
00:20:31
called Rosie's Girls where we were taught things that dads usually teach their sons
00:20:36
like basic carpentry, welding, plumbing oh my, that sounds amazing that's such a great idea
00:20:41
I love it. One day they brought in a Krav Maga instructor to teach us self-defense.
00:20:48
Yes. And they taught us several ways to get out of a scary situation when you're picked up by a man.
00:20:52
My favorite was, just go completely limp and they'll freak out and drop you. How amazing is that?
00:20:59
That is good. What if he did that? Just sack of potato. You become dead weight. Yeah.
00:21:03
And then when they fumble you, you kick him right in the old cajones. That's right.
00:21:08
I love it. Mm-hmm. But in the event that he picks you up so that you're facing him and you have your arms free,
00:21:15
they recommend that you grab their face with your thumbs at the outer corner of their eyes.
00:21:20
Mm-hmm. This is the part that this is why I didn't want to be last. Okay. Push in and scoop up.
00:21:25
Oh, no. Apparently, they just pop out. No. That's what I swear. We weren't given the option to see a demonstration of this one.
00:21:33
Good. As always, love the podcast. Thank you so much for all the work you put in to make this beautiful thing.
00:21:40
So many of us can bond over and share. Best, Claire. Claire. Well, first of all, now I want to take a Krav Maga class really bad.
00:21:48
We need to have an exactly right Krav Maga class. Exactly right. Everyone has to come in the office.
00:21:54
That would be, we're the most irritating bosses in the world. That's right. We're like, guys, you got to take your Krav Maga.
00:22:00
You have to ha-yah, like so hard. And then you also have to come to my acoustic music night.
00:22:06
Okay. Okay. shave your mustache too that's Steven's bit get your own thing okay the subject line is
00:22:15
why we never went to Kmart okay hey y'all I grew up in a smallish north Louisiana town
00:22:21
my mother was very cautious with many things I'm the oldest including instilling
00:22:25
a slightly unhealthy fear of escalators my dad had done some litigation centering on someone
00:22:31
getting injured from being becoming stuck in an escalator and an entirely healthy fear of parking lots. My family went to church with a family who raised Jack Russell
00:22:42
Terriers. We got two of the best dogs from them when I was in elementary school. Later in life,
00:22:47
I learned that their daughter, who had stayed in the area to attend college, had been taken from
00:22:51
the Kmart parking lot in broad daylight. She was driven away from the area by a man and woman
00:22:56
to a country road in another parish where the couple proceeded to sexually assault her,
00:23:02
slit her throat several times and abandoned her not far from the road fortunately in Louisiana
00:23:08
people love to hunt and it was deer season two hunters found her near death on the side of the road
00:23:13
and rushed her to the nearest hospital the man who assaulted her is currently serving life plus 50
00:23:19
the woman is serving a 45 year sentence the couple are also suspects in the murder of a Jane Doe
00:23:25
found not far from my hometown several months earlier and the badass survivor now
00:23:30
has a beautiful family and still lives in my hometown. Oh my God. Oh my God. Can you imagine if I had to follow this up with the eyeball story?
00:23:39
This is this. See how right you were. It's almost like we've done this before. This it's like we knew even though I was I'm out of order.
00:23:46
That was oh my God. She lived. She fucking lived through that. I love her. And she has a family of her own now.
00:23:52
I know that everyone tells you how grateful they are for your for you two wonderful women.
00:23:57
Nonetheless, I want you to know how grateful I am. for your openness, your hilarity, and your encouragement of so many you don't even know.
00:24:04
Thank you for all you do. Stay sexy and listen to your mom about being aware of your surroundings.
00:24:09
Hannah. Hannah. That's such a great one. So good. That's crazy. It's so crazy. And again, that's that thing of just because it's a man and a woman doesn't mean you're safe.
00:24:20
Don't trust people because they try to look like normal and presentable. Yeah. Don't get in that car.
00:24:26
That's a good point. Wow. Amazing. Love a survivor story. The best. So good. Thanks for writing this.
00:24:32
And you guys, we really appreciate it. And we appreciate you guys. And fucking, this is awesome.
00:24:37
Yeah. Thanks. No. Go. Go. Send your, my favorite murderer Gmail. And stay sexy. Don't get murdered.
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Go to CheapCaribbean.com to try out the Budget Beach Finder and see just how stress-free vacation planning should be.
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Goodbye! Pandora Jewelry brings the sparkle to summer, now with even better prices.
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Shop now for up to 50% off select jewelry featuring personalized pieces to must-have summer favorites.
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Timeless jewelry made to move with you through every moment. Shop in-store or online now through July 5th.
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Terms and conditions apply. See Pandora.net for more details. Goodbye.