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00:01:49
hello and welcome to my favorite murder the mini so this is where we read you your shit back to you
00:02:10
you love to write us shit we love to read shit it's a perfect symphony of love and kindness
00:02:16
And reading. And reading. You go. Thank you. I go for it. This is hometown all the way from Wales.
00:02:25
Oh. Yes. Greetings from Wales, Karen, Georgia, and Stephen. First off, found your podcast last week, have listened to it for a solid eight hours per day, and work since.
00:02:34
Good for you. Thank you for getting me through my monotonous job all day, every day.
00:02:39
Secondly, I am all caps gutted that I only just found out you'll be in London in November and I'm not in the country.
00:02:47
Oh, so sad. Change your plans. For real. If you're so gutted, how about you cancel some fucking plans?
00:02:54
Any whom? Oh. Here's one of my hometown would-be murders that is very close to me as it happened to my grandfather.
00:03:02
So as I mentioned, I'm from Wales. Okay, quit bragging. More specifically, Abertillery.
00:03:08
Parentheses. I don't expect you to be able to pronounce that. Arbertillery. We're saying Arbertillery. It won't be Arbertillery.
00:03:17
A very small ex-mining town in the southeast. When my grandfather was young, he had a very tumultuous relationship with his father,
00:03:24
who, in my nan's words, was a very evil and cruel man. She often recounts the time she was in the house,
00:03:31
and he picked up a saucer and threw it across the room at my great-grandmother, bursting open her face.
00:03:38
parentheses, nice guy, for absolutely no reason at all. So he and my grandfather would argue a lot.
00:03:45
So it's basically this person's grandfather and great grandfather. Okay, here, my grandfather
00:03:50
would argue a lot. And one day he the great grandfather picked up an axe ready to murder
00:03:56
my grandfather in the family home. This struggling spilled out into the garden where luckily the
00:04:02
neighbor prevented the would be murder of my grandfather. Fast forward some years later,
00:04:07
and my great-grandfather has died. At his funeral, they announced he had written
00:04:10
all of his children notes to be read out at the service. In my grandfather's, he simply
00:04:17
wrote, I will haunt you for the rest of your life. Holy shit! Oh my God, Dad! My grandfather didn't
00:04:28
live a long life and died in his 50s the year I was born. Aw. After being plagued by
00:04:34
ill health for many years. Make of that what you will. Sorry it's not super detailed because my only source is
00:04:40
my nan who shrieks if she even sees a photo of him and can only speak of the man with her hands over her face.
00:04:46
She is a little drama queen, bless her heart. Also, sorry for the spelling and grammar.
00:04:51
I'm as dyslexic as fuck. Hey, no problem. No judgment here. Do not worry. Stay sexy and cut ties with
00:05:00
your abusive piece of shit father before he swings an axe at you. Lots of love. Rianne. Love it.
00:05:06
That was great. Yeah. Fun. Not fun, obviously. I mean, there's, I will haunt you for the rest of your life as a note from your father from beyond the grave is pretty fucking heavy duty.
00:05:17
Thanks, bro. Wow. This one's to you. Oh. This is called Shut Up and Tell Me the Thing Isn't Necessarily Bad Therapy.
00:05:26
Okay. Hey, gang. On your show today, you were talking, I think this is last week.
00:05:31
You were talking about how Karen couldn't be a therapist because of her bluntness.
00:05:35
But you might find it fun to know that some forms of therapy actually encourage a little bluntness at times.
00:05:41
How much therapists can quote call out clients and how frankly they do it varies a lot depending on the type of treatment Saying quote shut up and tell me the thing might be on the blunter end Remember when you were like shut up and tell me the thing But I have said
00:05:57
are you fucking kidding me? When the client tried to downplay the progress they'd made,
00:06:01
and my supervisor actually cheered for me. I'm a clinical psychology PhD student, and I specialize
00:06:07
in dialectical behavioral therapy, which is a form of cognitive behavioral therapy that focuses on
00:06:14
finding the balance between ideas. Have you heard of it? No. IE coming back from the edge when
00:06:19
thoughts and feelings get extreme. Yes. Honestly, it's hard to describe in two sentences without
00:06:24
sounding woo woo, but it's got lots of research evidence. I promise. One way that we find balance
00:06:30
is responding to clients with warmth sometimes and responding with bluntness at other times,
00:06:35
depending on what the situation calls for. Part of the reason why I love this treatment is because
00:06:39
it's one of the most evidence supported treatments for people with borderline personality disorder.
00:06:43
and it helps a lot of people who feel hopeless, but it's also kind of fun to be ridiculous and therapeutic at the same time.
00:06:50
I highly recommend you check out an example of the master in action in the link below.
00:06:55
And it's about Marsha Lionhan, L-I-N-E-H-A-N, the badass psychologist who developed BDT,
00:07:03
demonstrating bluntness balanced with concern and understanding. I'm all about this.
00:07:08
Dude, it's called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, DBT. I know this little glimpse of DBT doesn't fully do it justice, but I hope you enjoyed a taste.
00:07:17
If you ever have questions about DBD, wait, about BPD, DBT, or other clinical psychology stuff, I'm happy to try and answer them.
00:07:27
Alex, and it's signed Alex, and that says, girl, which I'm only specifying because I want to respect women in research, not because the binary is important.
00:07:37
Thank you. Good point. Thank you, Alex. Girl. that's awesome yeah the entire time i'm like is that what my therapist does with me because she
00:07:46
but she's always my therapist so therapist is so kid gloves gentle that everything she says
00:07:54
even if it is blunt is also said with the most loving mind voice and smile and everything is
00:08:00
i hear that i hear you but mine too until the next day when i get a venmo request that i fucking pay
00:08:06
her because I forget to do it. And then she's like, pay up, bitch. Pay up, bitch.
00:08:13
Nothing like a Venmo from your fucking therapist to make you feel like a total piece of shit.
00:08:19
She's like, how much more must I do? Okay, this one, I'm not going to read the subject line
00:08:25
because it gives it away. Hey, kids. During high school, I volunteered at a rural emergency room for three summers.
00:08:32
Because I worked during the day, I would usually volunteer late into the night until around 1 a.m.
00:08:37
And although it was a small town, I saw a lot. I bet it's the emergency room. That's where everything happens.
00:08:43
But this story has never quite been topped. Love it. Here we go. Because this hospital was small and didn't have a psych wing,
00:08:50
patients brought in for any psychiatric reasons were put into an ER room in front of the nurse's station.
00:08:56
The room was really stripped down and had almost nothing in it, but a bed, and if the door was closed,
00:09:01
a camera with a feed to the nurse's station was always being watched to make sure the patients were safe.
00:09:06
On one particularly busy afternoon, a nurse was in the room cleaning up to prepare for the next patient,
00:09:12
and one of the can lights fell down from the ceiling. She didn't think anything of it
00:09:16
and had a maintenance man come and replace the light. A couple hours later, a nurse was again in the room
00:09:23
cleaning up after the last patient and heard movement coming from the ceiling. Everyone assumed that there must have been a raccoon or something
00:09:30
and called maintenance back to check it out. When they pushed up a ceiling tile to check it out, though, the young woman who had been checked in five hours earlier only to disappear was staring back at them.
00:09:44
Oh, my God. The patient had climbed up the cabinets and into the ceiling without anyone noticing and slept there for five full hours before being found.
00:09:53
Holy shit. The nurses at all just assumed she had gotten up and left. Stay sexy.
00:09:58
And if you need a break from our broken mental health health care system, God bless, climb into the ceiling and take a fucking nap.
00:10:04
Do not, however, use. Oh, no. Do not, however, use a glass Coke bottle as a dildo.
00:10:11
They will have to drill holes in the bottom of it to get it out when it inevitably creates a vacuum and gets stuck.
00:10:17
The ER is wild. SSDGM, Emma. No. Somebody help me. Oh, God. I listen that might go down as one of the greatest sign offs of any Minnesota email ever top that everyone just when you thought that wasn't enough of a story.
00:10:39
She came in with the Coke bottle dildo. God Jesus. Okay. Jesus help me. Okay. This is one.
00:10:46
This one is called close call with and I'm not going to tell you who. Okay. Greetings and salutations to the royal family of true crime.
00:10:54
Wow. Well, well, well. Thank you. Finally, we're getting the respect we ask for constantly.
00:11:01
So I'm a murdering man from the UK and recently had a family reunion. After much food and wine, my parents, who grew up in the 60s and 70s, began telling stories of their youth, which is always fascinating.
00:11:12
My dad told a creepy story about hitchhiking in his flower power days and how a man had tried to assault him as he was driving.
00:11:19
This prompted my auntie, who grew up in Gloucester, Gloucester, Gloucester, to chime in about her experience.
00:11:27
she said that she once went to the cinema in the evening with her friend oh someone's fancy
00:11:36
oh someone in the UK royalty oh did you go to the cinema in the evening and when the movie finished they had missed the last bus home At the time with no Uber or mobile phones her friend who was more outgoing and wild than her suggested they hitchhike reassuring my aunt that she did it all the time
00:11:53
So my aunt agreed. A man stopped for them, claiming to be a policeman, and he was nice and kind to them, saying it wasn't safe for two young girls to be out at night.
00:12:02
Later, though, my auntie, who was already wary, noticed that they were going down a dark country road that she didn't recognize.
00:12:08
And the man started slowing down. She said his whole demeanor changed. He told them that he wasn't a policeman and he started looking left and right as if to check if the coast was clear.
00:12:18
He then said in a sinister voice, you know, you really shouldn't get into cars with strangers.
00:12:23
You fucking asshole. Then as my aunt was shaking in fear in the backseat, her friend said the most badass thing ever.
00:12:29
well you don't think i'd get into a car with a stranger without a knife do you of course she didn't have a knife but this must have scared the weirdo off as he dropped them
00:12:39
safely home afterwards really yeah this scared me he made a huge u-turn like and i know where you
00:12:46
live goodbye you seriously yeah maybe i don't know count the problems uh this scared my auntie
00:12:53
from ever hitchhike hitching a ride with anyone again but it didn't stop her friend who continued
00:12:58
to hitchhike, particularly to a disco that she went to every Friday night. Apparently, she would routinely get picked up by a couple who would drive her to and
00:13:06
from the club, the woman she described as quite talkative and the man who seemed quite
00:13:11
quiet. Quite quiet. She eventually stopped going to the disco after getting weird vibes from the man, and
00:13:16
that was that. Years later, however, when Fred and Rosemary West's photos were on every newspaper, she
00:13:24
realized that she had been catching a ride with two horrific serial killers and could
00:13:29
very well have been a victim herself if it wasn't for her intuition telling her to stop. Oh, fuck.
00:13:36
Rest assured, I sat with my eyes wide all through the story and couldn't wait to share it with my
00:13:40
favorite podcast. Stay sexy and always go to family reunions. You never know what kind of crazy stories your
00:13:46
relatives are sitting on. Love you guys. Lucy. Fuck Lucy. You know what I'm going to say to Lucy?
00:13:52
Blimey. that's wow yeah double story double oh my god can you imagine being in a car with fred and rose
00:14:01
they're so creepy i bet they smell like ivory soap and fucking hair blood made and blood they
00:14:09
smelled like dirt and blood there's no way ew okay okay you go okay hello beautiful i'm amy eric
00:14:18
founder of Madison Reed, a hair color company I named after my daughter. Forget everything you know about hair color, the mess, the smell, the hassle, the damage.
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We're female founded and female led. We've transformed the hair color experience with ingredients that care for your hair
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and award winning color on your terms at home or at our hair color bars. The future of hair color is here at Madison Reed.
00:14:44
bro from the show last night to this drive why is it never chill because this is our life
00:14:51
backstage on the road it's loud messy real and that's the best part whole crew no plan just
00:14:59
moving good thing nissan builds for that kind of chaos not just test tracks real life scenes
00:15:04
late nights road trips all of it that's why it holds up nissan was ranked number one in initial
00:15:10
quality among mainstream brands by J.D. Power. Yeah, you can tell. 2026 Nissan Rogue built for
00:15:17
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00:15:23
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00:15:59
We're going to wrap it down on a kind of a light one. Great. And I'm not going to redo the subject line.
00:16:04
Okay. Know that I think you're both amazing, hilarious, and gorgeous, but let's get to the story.
00:16:10
Thank you. How nice. Here's my hometown murder. When I was in my early 20s, so like maybe eight or nine years ago, I moved into a house with three other girls slash coworkers slash friends.
00:16:22
We threw a party for New Year's Eve. At like 1 a.m., an acquaintance stopped by the party after leaving the bar and looked totally freaked out.
00:16:30
She's like, this is the house my biological father was murdered in. Bitch, what?
00:16:36
It says it on the paper. It's a separate paragraph by itself. Bitch, what? So she leaves and comes back in half an hour with a DVD of Forensic Files, Season 10, Episode 34, Bump in the Night, and It's My Fucking House.
00:16:50
Holy shit! Her biological father was murdered in the late 80s by his ex-stepson for his mom to get the life insurance money or something crazy.
00:17:01
He broke in a window and bashed him in the head, tossed the weapon on a roof of a commercial building up the street.
00:17:07
our town Cape Girardeau was pretty small so there weren't a ton of murders my roommates were creeped out
00:17:14
but as a lifetime murderino I was stoked to live in a murder house or it's just that simple
00:17:21
it's just that simple what the fuck she came back with with the forensic files in her hand can you imagine looking at the room and then looking at the forensic files and then looking at the room Oh my God Oh that awful Was it her dad or her stepdad
00:17:39
Well, it said biological father. Yeah. Makes it sound like it's something maybe she found out later.
00:17:44
Jesus. That was not lighthearted. No, you're right. It wasn't. I have one more. Do you want to?
00:17:49
I kind of saw the forensic files part and it was just like, oh, yeah, I love that.
00:17:53
Hello, MFM crew. I want to write you this email because it's a cute cat story and a weird thing that would only happen to my sister.
00:18:00
Here we go. She says, a few months ago in our semi-small town of London, Ontario, Canada, my sister went to bed and woke up around 3 a.m. to her cat Peanut meowing in her ear.
00:18:12
I fucking get it. She opened her eyes and noticed a strange figure at the end of her bed.
00:18:17
Looking closer, she realized a man who was very much naked was watching her sleep.
00:18:22
She said she remembered that someone said, if anything strange happens, to never overreact just in case they try to hurt you.
00:18:28
She looked at the naked man and said, could you please leave and shut the door behind you?
00:18:34
He never said a word and he left with no issue. When he left, she called the cops and my mother, who just laughed hysterically.
00:18:43
Mom! Yes? The cops showed up, but the man had ran out the back door, only leaving a sock and a cigarette.
00:18:49
Upon inspection, they realized the man had eaten her food and taken a shower. They blue lighted her room for fingerprints and asked her every detail of the event.
00:18:58
They told her the cat was very smart and could have saved her life or saved her from getting raped.
00:19:03
Who knows what he wanted with my big sis? Right. The local newspaper even wrote an article about it.
00:19:09
Of course they did. Anyway, they found the man. It wasn't very hard since he was the only one walking around naked down the street.
00:19:15
Turns out he was homeless and just looking for a place to stay warm. He noticed that my sister's roommate never locks the door and he crept in when they went to bed.
00:19:26
Anyway, I love you ladies so much. I'm heading to university in September 2020 to study criminology.
00:19:33
Thanks to you ladies. Maybe I'll write in again later about how my mom was kidnapped in Thailand.
00:19:39
Oh my God. Please do. Stay sexy and always look out for naked men. Gabby. Gabby Jesus
00:19:46
and then she says and this is a theme P.S. sorry about my spelling or punctuation errors I'm dyslexic
00:19:52
yeah it's like she this was perfect you're not alone yeah you're not alone and you wrote this better than I ever would
00:19:58
have you're you're you're doing great also what amazing advice yeah not don't overreact
00:20:04
like you scream it makes them freak out whatever also make sure your roommates know to lock the fucking door
00:20:10
we I mean I know how many how many needle points do we have that say lock your fucking door it's really and like it sucks
00:20:17
to live with someone who doesn't care and do that shit but you know you just got to be vigilant
00:20:21
and you and you've got to be the one that makes them understand it has to happen it's okay if
00:20:26
they've lived in the middle of a cornfield their whole life and they're like it doesn't you be the
00:20:30
one that's like no no and they're gonna be like you're paranoid everything's fine so what they're
00:20:35
wrong everything's fine until it's not fine and there's a naked fucking guy watching you sleep
00:20:39
Don't make it easier for someone to fucking just like get into your house by leaving the door unlocked.
00:20:43
There's no benefit to unlocked front doors. None. What do you, you want the outside world to think you're chill?
00:20:51
Knock it the fuck off. That you're not scared of your neighbors? Be afraid of your neighbors.
00:20:55
What is it? So, I'm sorry. So, safety's uncool? Yeah. Are you fucking kidding? Do you not wear a seatbelt?
00:21:00
Put your seatbelt on too. Put your seatbelt on. Get insurance for fuck's sake. And get your teeth fixed.
00:21:08
And get big, long, white rabbit teeth. And then you can be beautiful and live your life.
00:21:16
Live your life. Oh, stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie?
00:21:26
Why is it always chaos when we link up? Because nobody plans anything, bro. Good thing the rug's ready like that.
00:21:32
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