00:00:00
This is exactly right. Isn't some far off concept? It's already here. Next starts now.
00:00:33
Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. When a charming neurosurgeon rode into Frontier Town
00:00:39
selling a persona of confidence and care, patients trusted him. He wore cowboy boots in the operating room
00:00:45
and became sought after by patients. He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies.
00:00:51
This is a story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice. Listen to Dr. Death the Cowboy wherever you get your podcasts
00:00:58
or binge the entire series right now only with Audible. Goodbye. Vacation planning should feel like a breeze,
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not a deep dive into countless travel sites searching for the best deal. With Cheap Caribbean's Budget Beach Finder,
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00:01:28
Goodbye. Goodbye. Hello. Spooky Halloween. Spooky Halloween. It's your spooky Halloween episode of My Favorite Murder.
00:01:52
Hi, guys. Welcome to Halloween. Can you believe Halloween this year? It's my favorite year so far.
00:01:57
Easily, hands down, the sexiest year of all. Because the sexiest holiday is clearly Halloween.
00:02:04
And then this year is of all Halloweens, the sexiest. Absolute sexiest. To date.
00:02:08
The youngest, sexiest people. That's what I was going to say. That's right. Our world is a fucking fire trash heap.
00:02:16
And so we're really turning up the sexy this year. Why not? It's just like in Mad Max when it's the end of the world.
00:02:23
And that guy's playing saxophone. Tina Turner's the queen. There's only one banana.
00:02:27
Fucking let's do this thing. Light up a thing and let's party. All there is to cover you is little patches of quilt over your boobs.
00:02:34
Over a really nice made-in-form bra. That's right. It's all sewn onto a wonderful foundation garment.
00:02:40
That's right. That's why it stays. And then now let's have wrestling in a half dome.
00:02:46
Half dome wrestling. They still do MMA like that. The final countdown. Da-da-da-da.
00:02:52
Da-da-da-da. No, that song isn't in that movie. Oh, well, shit. But you know what is?
00:02:58
What? Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. I just tried to make myself a retainer, everybody.
00:03:03
She did out of a paper clip. And I just sat watching in awe. This is the kind of, I would call it creative juices.
00:03:11
Yeah. Pre-show creative juice flowing. That's right. We turn off the lights. We close the door.
00:03:15
We make retainers out of paper clips. That's right. The kind that stick into the side of your mouth.
00:03:20
Are you excited for Halloween this year? What am I talking about? Are you making small talk with me?
00:03:29
I am. Even though I know I'm already going to be with you for Halloween. That's right.
00:03:33
So I don't know why I'm asking you that. We have plans and I'm super excited about our plans.
00:03:38
Our plans are going to be raging. We are going to rage up and down this coast. That's right.
00:03:44
And we're going to... What's that? Kid Rock? We're gonna We're gonna drive a yacht
00:03:51
That's called rock the most And then drive that bitch up and down Wow Karen looked at Steven and thank god
00:03:59
He shook his head no Don't look at me for Kid Rock Steven was Like cringing away from me harder than I've
00:04:08
Ever seen him cringe away before Shaking his head no but he grabbed his phone to look it up
00:04:11
If anyone's gonna back me up on Kid Rock I'm thinking it's gonna be little Stevie R
00:04:16
Over on the ones and twos Steven, that was a test. You pass. You have your job for another week.
00:04:22
I was going to look up 311 lyrics. Close. All the same idea. We're going to be in Santa Barbara this coming weekend for our Santa Barbara, you know,
00:04:31
Murderino takeover weekend. We're really excited. We can mention that we're going to have canned wine there.
00:04:36
That's right. And it's really exciting. It is really me. It's really exciting for Georgia in particular.
00:04:42
Yeah. I like it too. Alcoholic Karen's stoked about it. I mean, drunk, drunk Karen.
00:04:47
Calling her alcoholic Karen ruins the fun a little bit. And it makes me feel kind of bad about myself, too.
00:04:53
No, you can just have a drunk face and get back out of it. A drunk face? It's easy.
00:04:59
Yes. You should see my drunk face. You automatically have the drunk face. And we're also going to have a Murderino pop-up maker, so people will be selling their wares.
00:05:09
And it's all really cool people. Just like how in Marfa, Texas, they do pop-up Gucci stores or whatever.
00:05:17
Prada. Yeah. Same thing, except for people who make paint on teacups and make cool jewelry.
00:05:23
Yeah. Do you know I've been to the Gucci store in Midmartha? You have? Yeah. What'd you buy?
00:05:28
You can't go in. It's like a fake storefront in the middle of nowhere. It's really weird.
00:05:33
Is it supposed to make... It's an art project. It's an art pop-up project. It's an art link letter production. That's right.
00:05:41
Is it supposed to make you feel like all empty and hollow inside? Yeah, it's like a little bit of like consumerism.
00:05:47
Yeah, out in the desert. You know, a statement about consumerism. Look at it in the face.
00:05:52
It's like a mirror out in the middle of nowhere. It you looking at you Why don you look at what so Marfa about the inside of you Right You think you can buy Prada here You can It because it Gucci Wait is it Prada I not sure Stephen
00:06:06
why don't you know the lyrics to fucking Kid Rock? Stephen, fuck with the fuck. I'm gonna rent a yacht
00:06:12
that's named Rocks the Most and drive that bitch up and down the coast. How do you know that?
00:06:18
Because it's one of the greatest lyrics written by one of the biggest lunatics of all time.
00:06:23
You can't drive a yacht. I'm getting the words wrong No you're not I'm not rap accurate and I never have been
00:06:31
Rap accurate? This is the rapture This is the rapture episode Goodbye everybody but first happy Halloween
00:06:38
Happy Halloween we're really excited Because we got so many great submissions For Halloween
00:06:44
Hometowns that we're going to read you I feel like so many of them were things that
00:06:48
People's parents did to them as kids To ruin Halloween which I appreciate I feel like a lot of people that listen to our show
00:06:54
also grew up in haunted Victorian mansions. That's the vibe I'm getting from mine.
00:06:59
It's like a good 10%. Yeah. And they're here to tell their story, and we're here to witness.
00:07:03
And we're here to read it back to you. Should we do it? Stephen, are you going to put boiling cauldron sounds underneath this?
00:07:09
All kinds of spooky wind and maybe some bats. How about just a low-flying plane that just interferes with sound?
00:07:17
I'll do that, too. Okay, great. Perfect. Join the fan cult and be our friend. Be our friend.
00:07:24
This is all the ways we boss you at the top of the show. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer,
00:07:32
Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent. The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14.
00:07:37
Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense,
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rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust. Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation, and Hyundai doesn't either.
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Hyundai has always moved the future within reach. Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle.
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Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability. And Hyundai continues doing it every day.
00:08:00
From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far-off concept. It's already here.
00:08:08
Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. If there's one thing to know about traveling with dogs, it's that they can't eat like you do on vacation.
00:08:17
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Just Food for Dogs, like it's such a solution. I'm so grateful to them because my dogs absolutely need this for that drive up north.
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Terms and conditions apply. See Pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. This is entitled Halloween Creep Story.
00:09:38
Hello, spooky friends. It's a really good start. I've got a creepy Halloween tale for you.
00:09:42
When I was 22, I was out partying for Halloween and my group of friends decided to leave the bars.
00:09:47
I wanted to stay a little longer. Me too, girl. With some other friends that we had met up with.
00:09:52
So I told them that I would call myself a cab later. Don't love it. When I was ready to leave, lo and behold, my phone had died.
00:10:00
Yes, of course. Don't leave your friends behind. Don't let your friends leave without you.
00:10:06
Make sure you have charged your phone. because it's only when I was like five beers in did I suddenly get this independent streak
00:10:14
where I was like, look, I'm going to walk home alone and no one can stop me, where I had to have the kind of friends that were like, no, you're not getting the car.
00:10:22
Yeah, I did. I did that once where I was like, I'm staying behind with these new friends I made
00:10:25
at the bar. And I had a friend that bless his heart, I got mad at for being like, I'm not,
00:10:29
you're coming home with me right now. And then the next day I was like, thanks for doing that.
00:10:33
Yeah. Sometimes you have to fight with your drunk friends because they're drunk and they don't know. They're seeing the world very differently.
00:10:39
Let's find out how this person did just that. Okay, great. Ready? Go. When I was ready to leave, lo and behold, my phone had
00:10:44
died. The house we were staying at was only about a mile away, so I decided I would walk back. I was
00:10:50
dressed as Margot Tenenbaum, complete with knee-length fur coat, so I wasn't concerned about the cold. Cute.
00:10:57
I mean, of all the things to be concerned about. And my drunk ass didn't even think
00:11:00
about running into creeps on the walk home. Wake up! I got about halfway to my destination when an older man pulled his car into the driveway that intersected the sidewalk
00:11:08
where I was walking. He rolled down the window and asked if I needed a ride. I politely declined,
00:11:13
walked around his car. He then backed out and pulled into the next driveway and said,
00:11:17
come on, it's cold out here. I'm sure you could use a ride. At this point, I ignored him and walked
00:11:21
faster around his vehicle. He did this two more times. And each time I ignored him, remember my
00:11:27
phone is dead and it's 2.30 a.m. So I didn't have much of an escape route. The fifth time he backed
00:11:33
out and cut me off the next driveway. But this time he opened the passenger door and yelled,
00:11:38
get in now. I'm not going to stop until you do. Luckily, a man in a truck pulled up next to me
00:11:44
and said, Hey, Jenny, I thought that was you. Hop in. I'm heading to John's place to mind you.
00:11:50
My name is not Jenny and I was not going to John place but I sure shit got in that truck and he drove away from that creep Oh my God He drove me away from that creep It turns out that the man that picked me up was an employee at the gas station that I had passed As he was closing he saw the man in the car cutting me off and trying to make me get in
00:12:08
He jumped into his truck and followed us, seeing that I was in danger. He drove me back to the gas station and let me wait inside with the doors locked, and we called the police.
00:12:17
after I had called 911 we saw the man in the car pull into the gas station and watch us from the parking lot
00:12:26
oh my god he stayed there until he saw the police car pull in by the time we were able to tell the police
00:12:31
that the car had just driven away he was already out of sight I don't know what happened after they took my statement
00:12:35
I just hope the creep wasn't able to hurt anyone needless to say I was pretty shaken up
00:12:40
but I was able to get home safely and have never allowed myself to be in a situation like that again
00:12:45
stay sexy and don't walk alone especially on Halloween with a dead phone, Sarah.
00:12:50
Yeah. Yeah. I would just like to say, um, hooray for that guy for taking the time to do that,
00:12:58
throwing the risk and her picking up on his signals of like, Hey, I'm here to help you.
00:13:04
I can, this is how I'm going to help you. Yeah. This is clearly bad news. Um, it's good shit.
00:13:09
Yeah. That's, that's the way to help each other and support our neighbors. Yeah.
00:13:13
That's what we want to be doing for each other. Okay. This one's called trick or treat.
00:13:17
Halloween lighthearted. Ahoy, hoy, all. My favorite so far. Number one. When you asked at the end of last week's mini-sode for Halloween-related stories, I knew I had to send this in.
00:13:27
When I was around nine or ten, I decided that I wanted to dress up as an old, quote, old-timey gangster for Halloween.
00:13:33
At this point in time, I was obsessed with old film noir detective movies, so I'm going to blame those for this entire experience.
00:13:40
It was, in my opinion, a perfect costume idea. I would carry my violin case around and use it to collect sweets.
00:13:47
I got to wear a badass hat and the outfit came with a jacket so my mom wouldn't ruin the look by forcing a parka on me.
00:13:53
Yes. That's very true. That's a good idea. Planning ahead for cold weather costumes.
00:13:58
Right. Only problem was I was a baby and didn't own a suit. Coming from a long line of thrifters, we decided to ask my uncles to see if I could borrow a suit from them.
00:14:07
My dad wouldn't allow me to borrow his because, quote, it's my only one and I need to keep it nice for when I'm being buried in it.
00:14:14
Cool, dad. a.k.a. subject clothes luckily my uncle Paul didn't care if I got sugar and glitter over his suit
00:14:23
he was and still is a cow farmer and only had it for funerals he couldn't get out of yes so on Halloween night I gelled back my hair
00:14:31
donned my tribly oh Jesus and affected my best godfather impression which is hard when you're a high pitched Glaswegian kid
00:14:39
but damn it if I didn't give it my all anyway then I was a success I got loads of candy and only
00:14:43
dropped the violin case on my foot once. When I got home later that evening, it was to my mom
00:14:48
and uncle's sister, cagely hanging up the phone and pulling my dad off to the kitchen to talk.
00:14:53
I figured it was just adult stuff and proceeded to gorge myself and pass out on the couch.
00:14:59
When I woke up a few hours later, I thought it was because my parents were moving me to my bedroom,
00:15:03
but as I came around, I realized that I was still on the couch. However, the lights were off.
00:15:08
My parents were standing over me with a flashlight and tweezers, and my pajama bottoms had been
00:15:12
rolled up. I felt something pinch my leg hard and freaked out, thinking, oh God, they're finally stealing my organs
00:15:18
to sell in the black market. You might be wondering why a nine-year-old was thinking that,
00:15:22
but my family has a very dark sense of humor, and my dad would regularly say, I'm not hugging you, I'm just feeling up which kidney
00:15:28
I want to have transplanted from you when... I'm not hugging you, I'm just feeling up which kidney
00:15:34
I want to have transplanted from you when mine pack in. Oh, the scourish. A rare breed. Naturally, I flailed about screaming and my parents rushed to turn on the light and assure me that they weren't trying to harvest my innards. After a lot of yelling, I was eventually told that my mom had gotten a phone call from my uncle earlier that day saying, please tell me Kate didn't wear my suit. I've just been told I have scabies.
00:16:00
what no my mom managed to work herself into a tizzy about it and my dad and her came through to tell me
00:16:09
check on me they noticed a black mark on my leg from when my pjs had rolled up in my sleep they
00:16:14
assumed it was a tick and decided it would be less scary for them to try and remove the tick
00:16:17
from my leg without waking me up i can't even begin to unravel their terrible reasoning behind
00:16:22
this however it turns out the tick wasn't a tick but a freckle my mom had forgotten about
00:16:27
so when they went to yank it out all they did was wake me up to extreme pain and fear
00:16:32
luckily i never contracted scabies from my uncle's suit and after a thorough steam clean
00:16:37
he still wears it to funerals to this day stay sexy and tick yes on the emancipation form because
00:16:43
jesus christ kate oh my god he has scabies okay but ticks and scabies are not the same thing no
00:16:53
I've never had either thank god knock on wood keep them away that is the funniest story
00:17:02
but scabies are little bugs aren't they? I think they are but they're really microscopic
00:17:06
as opposed to like a tick that's like bigger than a flea they should have known that
00:17:11
I mean I think you're right but I get it that sounds right I get it though because once you're like
00:17:15
you have you have a something on your skin you're like get it yeah whatever it is
00:17:20
you're gonna be peeling that shit off that's like the time And that the girl down the street got head lice.
00:17:26
Oh, yeah. It was around the time I was 12. And my mom gets off the phone. She had just been over to play like the day before.
00:17:33
And it was me and my sister and Adrian and like Jennifer Gehring. And my mom gets off the phone and goes, girls, whoever, girl down the street has head lice.
00:17:45
And we all start screaming. And she goes, everybody stay calm. Pull all the sheets off the bed.
00:17:50
And she just starts screaming all of these. Oh, nurse. Do this, do this, do this.
00:17:54
Because she a nurse right The first thing yes She was telling us to stay calm Meanwhile it was like strip down the house steam the ceiling like went insane No one got it Thank God Okay Few Moving on
00:18:06
Spooky Halloween story. Subject line. Old Louisville murder mansion on shrooms. Hello, all.
00:18:13
When I was in college at the University of Louisville, I may or may not have dabbled in various drugs.
00:18:18
Around my junior year, my friend group established a strict shrooms supervision rule.
00:18:23
after my friend almost burned her apartment down trying to make a pizza while she was tripping
00:18:29
bald. Oh, my God. Come on. No cooking while you're high. No. She couldn't. This is parenthetical.
00:18:35
She couldn't take the pizza out of the oven because, and I quote, it was such an angry
00:18:39
pizza. See, you have no business going near anything with heat. Don't curl your hair.
00:18:47
Don't talk to pizza. No. Nothing really electrically based in any way or heat. face. Heat's bad. Make other people
00:18:54
cook for you. You just eat food until it gets cold. That's right. And don't look at it in the
00:18:58
face. No. And don't look in the mirror. That's right. Oh, yeah. Okay. Since that debacle, we decided that we should have a sober
00:19:04
person present whenever any of us wanted to trip. That's the least you should be doing. That also sounds so boring for
00:19:10
that sober person. Really? What did they do to deserve that day? One lucky October night in 2013,
00:19:16
I was the babysitter for my friends, Steve and Dee. About an hour or so into the trip, they wanted to go walk around Louisville and look at all
00:19:23
the beautiful old Victorian houses. The walk was uneventful at first. We just talked about
00:19:28
life. And at one point, Dee stopped for approximately 10 minutes to pet a decorative stone lion
00:19:33
at the end of someone's driveway. Oh, my God. I love that so much. Just stupid. 10 minutes.
00:19:42
Okay. On our way back down 4th Street, Dee suddenly stopped in front of a dilapidated
00:19:48
old mansion. I turned to see what he was doing and literally almost shit my pants because
00:19:52
he looked like a total psycho. His eyes were huge. His face had gone completely pale and
00:19:56
he was just staring at this house. I ran over and asked if he was okay and he just shook
00:20:00
his head and said in a completely deadpan manner, this is a fucking evil house. Steve
00:20:06
and I were super confused and asked what he meant. He quickly started walking away and
00:20:10
said there's black smoke all around that house and it is a fucking evil house. Oh my God.
00:20:14
Steve and I just shrugged it off, thinking Dee must be having a bad trip. A few weeks later, I was scrolling through Facebook when that fucking house pops up on the screen.
00:20:23
I was horrified as I learned the dark history behind this house. Oh, my God. In the early 1900s, a doctor purchased the property and used it as a sanitarium.
00:20:32
However, the horrible conditions there led to many of his patients dying in their rooms.
00:20:36
Holy shit. In the 90s, a woman purchased the house, sectioned it off into apartments, and rented it out to rather unsavory characters.
00:20:46
One of her tenants, angry over a rental dispute, beat her to death inside the house.
00:20:50
Holy shit. In 2010, a body was found shoved inside a barrel buried in the dirt floor of the basement.
00:20:57
It turns out that the next person who owned the house got into a lover's quarrel and beat, stabbed, and shot his lover to death before burying him in the basement.
00:21:06
The body remained there for five years before being discovered when a guest in the home reported a terrible smell coming from the basement.
00:21:13
Finally, in 2012, a homeless man was found dead on the property from no apparent cause, but he was propped up against the gate outside.
00:21:22
Many local Louisvilleans. Is that real? Louisvillians? Thank you. Is that right?
00:21:28
Many local Louisvillians. Louisvillians. No, they're not villains. Louisvillians.
00:21:34
Louisvillians. Louisvillians. Louisvillians. Louisvillians. Let's keep saying it.
00:21:38
Okay, great. Apparently avoid walking by this house at all because they believe it to be cursed.
00:21:43
Oh, my God. Many people believe that this home was actually the inspiration for the first season of American Horror Story.
00:21:49
Ooh. Ooh. Horrified and completely freaked out. I relayed all this information to Dee when I next saw him.
00:21:55
He just shrugged and said, I told you that is a fucking evil house. Stay sexy and stay away from crazy murder mansions.
00:22:01
And while you're tripping your ass off, M. P.S. There are links to the house below.
00:22:07
Apparently the house has gone under renovations and has been cleansed. New tenants now live inside.
00:22:12
Hopefully the cleansing worked. And there's some pictures and some links that we'll put up.
00:22:17
Cool. Yeah, let's see that. Love it. Nice. Drugs. Love a classic drug haunted house story.
00:22:23
Just a plain old drug story. You know, classic. Sure. Okay. This is called Halloween Story, The Time Ghosts Stole My Internet.
00:22:32
Oh. Spooky Halloween, MFM crew. I've got a story about the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me on Halloween.
00:22:38
During my senior year of college, I lived in an old building managed by a shitty landlord,
00:22:42
meaning the basement was a dripping, decrepit dungeon that I only ever visited when I had to do laundry.
00:22:48
One day, to my dismay, I was forced to venture down when the internet cut out unexpectedly,
00:22:52
and I decided to follow the cables leading into the basement to see what was up.
00:22:56
Once in the basement, I discovered that the cable was being fed through the floor above,
00:23:01
which dropped into a room in the basement, a room that previously was completely unknown to me.
00:23:06
It was blocked by a door that was so tattered and charred, I'd always assumed it was just part of the wall where some dryer-related fire had started.
00:23:15
Desperate for my precious internet, I pry open the door. Inside was what I assumed to be a former living space for a previous tenant,
00:23:23
complete with a closet, bathroom, and ghostly impressions of appliances that had been ripped from the walls.
00:23:29
Walking in further, I find a collection of items that felt like they were plucked straight out of a horror movie.
00:23:34
First, I find two photographs, pocketbook size, that look like children's school portraits.
00:23:40
I couldn't tell for sure because their faces had been deliberately burned out. No.
00:23:45
Then I find an unopened letter addressed to this building, postmarked from 1999.
00:23:50
I know this means I'm admitting to having committed a federal offense, but yeah, I opened it.
00:23:54
Yep, you are. Duh. Do not mess with the mail. The letter inside just seemed like a congratulatory
00:24:00
message for the tenants and their new home. It's signed off with, I'm praying very hard for your baby.
00:24:05
Love, Father Mark. Spooky Halloween. The moment I read this, I look down and notice that scattered across the floor are old baby
00:24:14
toys. No. Abandoned room, desecrated photos of children, cryptic letter from a priest, old baby toys?
00:24:21
Nope. I called my internet provider and they sent a guy out to solve the problem.
00:24:26
Another weird note. I love the problem of the worst thing in the world happening in that room.
00:24:30
You deal with this, motherfucker. Hi, so I don't know if you have any connection with God or whoever clears this shit up.
00:24:38
Do you believe in those? Another weird note. When I asked the guy what the source of the problem was, he just said, I don't know.
00:24:44
That was strange. Oh. Thanks. The date all this happened? October 31st. Stay sexy and don't try to solve your internet problems yourself, Nicole.
00:24:54
For real. Oh, my God. For so many reasons. that's like that um remember that house i feel like if if it was a real news story i can't
00:25:03
remember but i remember it popping up kind of early days of the facebook group and it was
00:25:08
they uncovered a basement like a sub basement when it had like toys and garage and shit right
00:25:14
yeah and it was like there were toys and there was like kids stuff but it was all old and dusty
00:25:19
never heard about it again it could have been fake okay no i think it was i'm pretty sure it
00:25:24
was real i feel like it was real but you know so is the tooth fairy okay subject line halloween
00:25:30
murder ghosts questionable camping attire ahoy hoy ladies jay and steven yes you're all fab and i
00:25:37
love you and i've been meaning to share the story for a while as it's my favorite and completely
00:25:42
uncharacteristic of my parents my family has a cabin in the adirondacks adirondacks you know
00:25:48
parentheses a large forest preserve in the way north of new york state wow only about an hour
00:25:54
from where I grew up. Let's have Richie Rich. Okay, Richie. My queen's born and raised grandfather bought the land and built it after serving in Vietnam
00:26:01
and retiring from the military. The Adirondacks are pretty remote, absolutely stunning, and definitely 100% spooky in the
00:26:08
dark, I bet. One summer night, my parents were driving family friends back to their campsite at nearby Big
00:26:14
Moose Lake after a day spent at our cabin. My parents first dropped off Nancy and their twin girls directly to their site while they
00:26:21
took Mike to the family car in the campsite's parking lot to grab a few things that they
00:26:26
had left behind earlier in the day. Their journey, however, came to an abrupt stop when a woman walked in front of my parents'
00:26:32
car, forcing them to a screeching halt. The way both of my parents recall it, the woman had her hair up in a high bun, was wearing
00:26:39
a long lace nightgown that was trailing on the ground with long sleeves and a high collar
00:26:44
that reached the top of her neck. Ghost. Ghost. It's a ghost. There's no, those dresses don't exist anymore.
00:26:50
That's a ghost. Unless you're weirdly in like German vogue or something. My dad says that he was going to ignore it.
00:26:56
No, don't ignore ghosts. They get mad. Dad. And whenever they tell the story, my mom says the same, despite a feeling of complete unease.
00:27:06
My dad told himself, obviously super logically, maybe it's just a lady from downstate who doesn't know what to wear in the wilderness in the middle of the summer.
00:27:14
Yes, dad, the lady from Yonkers is going to wear a full body corset to a campground.
00:27:18
Well, what should I wear to this camping excursion? Okay, well, I know I'm going to want a wasp-like waist.
00:27:24
Maybe she's Moira from... Oh, excursion, baby. Excursion. Alexis, come camping. Okay, we're back in the lady from Yonkers, wear a full-body corset to a camping room.
00:27:37
The unfailing distant politeness slash it's none of my fucking business-ness of a grizzled New Englander is truly unwavering.
00:27:44
But after a moment of watching her glide, my dad insists glide, across the dirt road, their friend Mike from the backseat leaned forward and said, insert exaggerated shuddering noise.
00:27:56
The idea of a shared hallucination between the three was beyond even my incredibly logical parents' imaginations.
00:28:03
And when Mike said, we're not telling Nancy and the girls about this, they all agreed.
00:28:07
Flash forward to 20 years later. It was the summer before I left for college, and I was getting ready to head out to work early in the morning when my father, also work-bound, opened the local newspaper and whispered, holy shit.
00:28:18
When I walked over to him, he pointed to an old photo. That's her. I had grown up hearing about the Victorian ghost lady at every campfire we'd had, and when I looked at the woman, with her hair in the bun and her white lace collar up to the top of her neck, I knew instantly exactly who he was talking about.
00:28:35
The woman, as it turned out, was Grace Brown, a former employee of the Gillette Skirt Company in Cortland, New York.
00:28:42
Grace had been in a secret, forbidden romantic relationship with Chester Gillette, the nephew of the company's owner.
00:28:49
Oh, my God. Upstairs, downstairs, you know the story. After a short time, Grace found herself pregnant with Chester's child.
00:28:55
He promised to marry her, but first he wanted to take her to the Adirondacks for a romantic getaway.
00:29:00
They stayed at Covewood Lodge, a hotel on Big Moose Lake, and unbeknownst to Grace, Chester checked them in under the name Carl Graham so that it would match the initials on his suitcase, C-E-G, but conceal his identity.
00:29:13
Only days later, on July 11, 1906, Chester took Grace out on a romantic boat ride, where he beat her with a tennis racket before dumping her in the lake.
00:29:24
Obviously, when Chester came back alone from his quote-unquote romantic boat trip,
00:29:29
he had some explaining to do, which he did. Quote, we talked a little more, then she got up and jumped in the water.
00:29:36
Just jumped in. Yeah. Unquote. Yeah, dude. Sure, dude. Grace's body was found the next day, and Chester was arrested in nearby Inlet, New York,
00:29:44
which is best remembered as the place I first saw Brendan Fraser's George of the Jungle in theaters.
00:29:48
Oh, my God. This is the longest email of all time. The following three trial was a huge deal in our area which is the reason it was in the paper 100 years later The trial was reenacted for the public to attend in 2006 Chester Gillette was electrocuted in 1908 at Auburn Prison in upstate New York which fun fact was the site of the first execution by electric chair in 1890
00:30:10
The murder, surprisingly, isn't all that well known, even in the area, despite it being the inspiration for the Theodore Dreiser novel, An American Tragedy, and the subsequent movie, A Place in the Sun, starring Elizabeth Taylor and Montgomery Clift, which is an amazing movie.
00:30:27
If you haven't seen it, it's such a good movie, A Place in the Sun. My parents still swear it also has Shelley Winters as the wife that he doesn't want anymore, and she is so good.
00:30:39
She's so good. Okay. My parents still swear to this day that they saw someone that night, and I look for grace every time I'm at camp, despite bears definitely being the bigger threat.
00:30:48
But the Adirondacks are a gorgeous place, so if I ever become a ghost, I can only hope that that's where I'm forced to haunt.
00:30:53
Don't date someone from your job. Buy your own romantic getaway. Don't haunt the forest in inappropriate camping attire.
00:31:00
Sarah. What if the ghost was actually the actress who was playing her in the reenactment, and she was just like, you know what I'm going to do?
00:31:07
scare the ever-loving shit out of some people. When they went to film the reenactment,
00:31:12
she'd actually got so many good scares out of people. She, as an actress, became addicted to the success of that character.
00:31:18
I bet that's what it is. She's like, I'm so good at being a ghost. Wow, that's scary.
00:31:23
That was a good old lakefront scare. Do you know what I think makes it so valid?
00:31:27
Is when multiple people see the same ghost thing. You know what I mean? I think that's kind of key.
00:31:34
Yeah. You know, it's not just you because who knows? You always see ghosts alone.
00:31:38
There's never like, are you seeing what I'm seeing? No. You know. Scooby-Doo stuff.
00:31:43
Exactly. And then you make a big sandwich. This is called, we almost killed grandpa on Halloween.
00:31:47
Oh. Hey, full-size candy bar, bar baby arenas. Yeah, that's right. That's right.
00:31:53
It's the early 2000s. The Star Wars prequels were big. My sisters were too cool to go trick-or-treating with me and grandpa was sick.
00:32:01
Way to set the stage. You've painted the picture perfectly. My dad and grandpa used to drive around behind us when we went door to door begging for candy, which was perfect because you could swap out pillowcases and people would feel bad for your sad sex soliciting and give you more candy.
00:32:14
That is genius. Act like you're hardly getting any candy. Hey, here's my sad empty bag.
00:32:20
That's so Charlie Brown. That's called the old Charlie Brown ruse. Anyways, this year grandpa was in the hospital, so my dad suggested we go take him some candy.
00:32:28
We get up to the silent hospital floor and my dad stops me outside his door. Remember Star Wars?
00:32:33
So my dad pulls out his Darth Maul mask. If you can't remember what he looks like, red and black face markings, yellow eyes, horns.
00:32:41
And he tells me to go wake up, Grandpa. I do. Grandpa, all caps, starts screaming.
00:32:50
He later tells us he thought he died and gone to the wrong place. The nurses peeked in at the noise, but we all got a good laugh out of it.
00:32:59
And we absolutely smuggled Grandpa some candy. Wait a second. It was a child, right?
00:33:05
A child and their parents. So it's a little short devil. Like that's even scarier.
00:33:10
That's right. Poor grandpa. Poor grandpa. Both my grandpa and my father have passed away.
00:33:15
But I told this story at my dad's funeral just to remind people of how much of a hilarious, mischievous jerk he was.
00:33:22
Oh, and then it says, get your prostate checked. He also used to hide in a closet and try to jump out and scare my sisters when they came home from school.
00:33:30
Classic dad. ssdgm and don't show up to grandpa's hospital bed looking like the copyrighted specter of hell
00:33:37
christy oh my god that gets me that's so good so good one final scare for grandpa
00:33:44
darth maul is is truly upsetting looking if you were an old man and wake up to that
00:33:53
oh shit i went to the wrong place yeah you're like oh fucking great child devils great
00:34:00
The worst place. Okay. The subject line of this email is, My haunted-ass internship had a ghost bell.
00:34:07
A ghost bell. Karen, Georgia, Steve, and Animals. I moved to L.A. from the East Coast in 2016 to start film school,
00:34:13
and when I was 19, I got my first internship at a small development company that was located at the Formosa Lot in West Hollywood.
00:34:22
Know it. I think that's Hollywood proper. I'm not sure what was scarier. The number of times I had to read a script that was described to a woman as,
00:34:29
quote beautiful but she doesn't know it oh my god beautiful but doesn't know it she's beautiful but doesn't know it she doesn't know it yeah
00:34:39
she's like one of the boys oh she wears glasses but when she takes her glasses off she's suddenly
00:34:46
a model and her hair's down now too overalls but sexy yeah it makes no sense boys or the time i
00:34:53
encountered a literal goddamn ghost. The office that day was empty except for myself, one other intern,
00:34:59
and the executive assistant who was sitting in the reception area. The other intern and I
00:35:03
were quietly reading scripts for coverage on our laptops when I heard this kind of shuffling sound next to me.
00:35:10
At first I thought maybe I dropped something and turned my head to look, only to hear as clear as
00:35:15
a fucking, as clear as fucking day a woman's voice right in my ear say, help me.
00:35:21
No, that's not what you want to hear a ghost say. Without thinking, I jumped up and ran into the reception room and then had to explain to the executive assistant why I had freaked out.
00:35:30
I was kind of embarrassed and expected her to think I was nuts. Plot twist. She listened to my story, then pulled a key from her desk and told me to do the following.
00:35:39
Take the key, go into the CEO of the company's desk and unlock a certain drawer.
00:35:45
Inside will be a bell. Now, take the bell into the room where you heard the voice.
00:35:51
ring it three times then place it in the center of the room and open the window or just quit your fucking job and never go back there it an internship you find another one You are not being paid to have the shit scared out of you This is literally above your pay grade This is now like a six
00:36:07
step thing where it's like, now you're in the Illuminati. The ghost wants you to ring
00:36:11
the bell three times. Now you're the ghost. You'll live here forever. Now you're the ghost. Why the fuck did you
00:36:16
ring that bell? I was just an intern. They told me to. Now you'll be an executive assistant intern forever.
00:36:23
You'll get the leftover sandwiches if you ring the bell. God, I did that for so many years.
00:36:29
Okay, go on. Steal toilet paper from the bathroom, will you, intern? Ring the bell.
00:36:35
But sure enough, there was this archaic bell in the CEO's desk, and they included a picture,
00:36:40
and I followed all these instructions. It turns out there were many spooky things happening in that office,
00:36:45
and the CEO had been gifted the bell to help clear out the bad energies. From who?
00:36:50
That's how bad it was. From a fuck who? From that one psychic that has the white wire hair.
00:36:55
I don't trust him. You don't? No. He has a connection. Okay. I never experienced anything in that office after that.
00:37:03
At least I got to wear, and at least I got to walk away with a wild story. Hollywood, am I right?
00:37:08
Thank you for all you do. I work as a PA currently, and your podcast has got me through some crazy long drives
00:37:13
to set and other runs. I don't know what I'd do without it. Stay sexy and get a ghost bell, Erin.
00:37:19
So can anyone gift a ghost bell and be like, is it like sage when your best friend gives you sage?
00:37:24
Oh, we have a picture of the bell. We have the bell. Oh, that's a creepy bell. That looks like a Catholic bell.
00:37:30
Does it? That looks like the church gave someone a bell. Maybe it was dipped in holy water.
00:37:36
Exorcism bell. We put that up on the Instagram. I love that bell. Yeah. I bet you this is the kind of bell that is only a CEO could afford.
00:37:44
Right. Cause it's like some antique snake oil salesman. That's like, I've got a $29,000 bell that would solve all your problems.
00:37:51
$29,000 bell. I think one exists. Let's look it up. Let's look up. Stephen, will you go on eBay and see what the most expensive bell you can find is?
00:37:59
Thank you. Okay. Well, I read this one. Put in the search ghost bell, hashtag ghost bell.
00:38:05
Yeah. Oh, and put in Kristen Bell as well. She'll help us. She's so cute. She's so nice.
00:38:10
I like her. Okay. This is called spooky divorce? Yes. And the answer is yes. Always.
00:38:17
Hi, Karen. We're just Stephen Katz and listeners. That's nice. to include them. Kiss up.
00:38:23
I was recently going on and on to my boyfriend about your podcast, and he piped up, well,
00:38:27
didn't I tell you about the ghosts that lived in my house? No. No, he had not. Anyway, so he grew up in a pretty ritzy part of Rhode Island in one of those old houses
00:38:37
that's big enough for him, the child, to have a whole basement level of the house to himself.
00:38:42
The child? Him as the child. Not the child. The weird child who follows them around everywhere.
00:38:49
Like that movie. Did you ever see that movie, The Boy? And it was like the, it was a mannequin doll that was a little boy.
00:38:56
Oh, God. That looked a lot like Jared Kushner. Was this Mannequin Part 2? It was, no, it was The Boy.
00:39:01
It was, but it was the same idea. Got it. It was the horror version of Mannequin.
00:39:05
That sounds fun. Okay, bye. So on one side of the basement, he had a living room with a TV and a computer.
00:39:12
And on the other end of the basement was his bedroom. I mean, it was all just one giant long rectangle, but you get it.
00:39:19
Yeah. He said that for a while he slept on the couch in his room because the area of the basement near his bed was, and I quote, unnaturally cold.
00:39:27
It was just the one area where his bed was. A normal person would move the bed, but not him.
00:39:32
He just slept on the couch. Not the little rich boy. Not the child. The child. The child.
00:39:37
The child. The basement child. So he said one night he was playing on the computer, I imagine Oregon Trail, but unsure, and felt a chill run through his whole body.
00:39:47
He quickly turned toward his bed and said, I didn't actually see anything physically standing there, but in my mind I could see a little girl standing on the bed.
00:39:55
She wasn't scary. She just stood there. So he like could see in a different way.
00:40:03
Yeah. That's scary. It's almost scarier. It is. It's like inside your head. Yeah.
00:40:08
In your brain. I know that this is here. Ooh. And he knew that was the cold presence in his room.
00:40:14
The girl. Yeah. He said he never mentioned her to anyone until about 15 years later.
00:40:18
He was talking with his mom and said, hey, have you any paranormal experiences before?
00:40:23
And she replied, are you talking about the little girl who lived in our house? Oh, my God.
00:40:27
Around this time, she started around the time he started seeing this little girl in his house.
00:40:32
His parents were going through a pretty shitty divorce. His mom said that a little girl would appear in her room, sometimes with a jump rope or hula hoop, sometimes just empty handed.
00:40:41
She said she was really comforted by the spirit because she felt like she was there to bring comfort and a sense of innocence back into the house during such a hard time.
00:40:49
She should have let the son know, though. Like, oh, I'm getting great vibes from this ghost.
00:40:54
She's cool. You can sleep in your bed. Yeah. Don't be scared. My boyfriend didn't seem totally down with the friendly ghost, but apparently she was a source of great comfort for his mom.
00:41:02
I think that's pretty cool. It's like we're always thinking of ghosts as being scary and haunting, but maybe they're just looking out for us, too.
00:41:09
SSTGM. Ben. P.S. I came from a family that watched Dateline as family after dinner TV.
00:41:16
So finding your podcast this summer was truly the greatest thing to have happened to me.
00:41:20
I love you guys so much. Also, what the fuck, mom and dad? I was like six. Thank you, Ben.
00:41:26
What a good story. Yeah, that's scary. The plot of that story is also, I mean, that story is also the plot of the movie The Sixth Sense.
00:41:33
What if ghosts are actually trying to help us? I'm comforted by your scary, scary presence.
00:41:38
and it's not scaring the shit out of me at all. No, not at all. Come into my tent
00:41:43
in my room. Let's throw up, please. Let's play Twosies with Oregon Trail. There wasn't
00:41:47
Twosies, was there? Oh, Stephen has an update. On eBay, the most expensive bell is a 1900 bronze bell which was a gift of the Mexican president to actor Harold Lloyd Yes Want to guess Oh I going to say Higher What
00:42:05
$13,000. $85,000. Holy shit. Buy that bell. Buy now. Buy it. Buy now. Click it. Stephen, I'll pay you back.
00:42:13
Click buy now. Oh, he just broke his phone. It's fine. It's fine. You owe him a bell, Karen.
00:42:19
Is this a picture of a bell on a shirt? What if they trick you into buying a shirt bell?
00:42:25
instead of the real bell. Look at how old that is. It doesn't look like it's worth $85,000.
00:42:30
This is the Liberty Bell of California. This is Hollywood's answer to the Liberty Bell.
00:42:35
Who is selling that? And are they going to get the money for it? Let's see. Call them.
00:42:39
Is there a phone number on that? They're also selling postcards of old ranch houses for $20.
00:42:44
These people know what they're doing. All right. Good for them. It's a 1900 bronze bell.
00:42:51
I'm buying bells from estate sales from now on. That's all I'm doing. Yeah. I'm going to be like, show me your bells that are 50,000 and higher, please.
00:42:58
I don't want to see anything less. Damn. Sorry to throw your phone on the floor like a brat.
00:43:05
It was a ghost. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent.
00:43:11
The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14. Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense, rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust.
00:43:22
Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation, and Hyundai doesn't either. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach.
00:43:28
Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle. Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability.
00:43:35
And Hyundai continues doing it every day. From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game,
00:43:42
the future isn't some far-off concept. It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA.
00:43:48
Goodbye. If there's one thing to know about traveling with dogs, it's that they can't eat like you do on vacation.
00:43:55
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00:44:00
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00:44:05
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00:44:11
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00:44:17
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00:44:21
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00:44:27
I mean, traveling with dogs, we've both done it. It is such a pain getting a whole cooler to make sure that my dog's food is okay for them to eat at the perfect time that they have to eat it.
00:44:37
Just Food for Dogs, like, it's such a solution. I'm so grateful to them because my dogs absolutely need this for that drive up north.
00:44:44
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00:45:06
Terms and conditions apply. See Pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. So after the line of this one, two coffins, one grave, my true family ghost story.
00:45:16
Oh dear. Happy Halloween to Karen, Georgia, and all my favorite fluffy minions, including Steven.
00:45:23
I found MFM during a dark time in my life, and hearing about all the horrible murder has really helped.
00:45:28
I have only been listening for about a year and a half, and my home has never been cleaner.
00:45:34
Thank you for making me feel like I'm part of something. Thank you for listening.
00:45:38
This is a story my dad told me about his grandmother when I was little, and I've been fascinated by it my whole life.
00:45:44
I've wanted to share it with you for a while And there is no better time than now
00:45:48
Halloween In the late winter of 1940 My great grandma Miranda passed away Soon after Laura, her daughter, began having nightmares
00:45:56
Every night her mom would come to her in her sleep And say, I'm in the wrong place
00:46:01
I'm in the wrong place That is all Miranda ever said I'm in the wrong place Night after night, her mother appeared
00:46:08
Until finally the nightmares became so terrible Laura knew she had to do something
00:46:13
She insisted that they exhume Miranda No one would listen to her, of course And she was dismissed as a hysterical, grieving woman
00:46:20
But Laura knew she couldn't give up She knew something was wrong She knew the nightmares wouldn't go away on their own
00:46:26
So great-grandma Laura was like, fuck politeness And became so persistent That eventually they gave in
00:46:32
And finally agreed to dig up Miranda's grave About six inches underneath where she had been
00:46:37
They found another coffin What? Miranda had been buried in someone else's grave The nightmare stopped after that
00:46:44
Stay sexy and always listen to your mother Julie from Minnesota No Julie I need more information
00:46:50
That's it She was buried in someone else's spot Oh that's chilling I'm in the wrong place
00:46:56
Look I killed the moth and now I feel really bad about it He's in the wrong place
00:47:01
No please don't help me He's like I'm the reason you have a Halloween costume this year
00:47:07
And you just smashed me Shit sorry friend okay that's okay i only live about 48 hours anyway that time i walked home at night
00:47:18
and shit got strange oh dear fuck word murder mystery family that sounded like they were
00:47:25
insulting us for a second dear fucking dear fuck word happy spooky halloween month let's get into
00:47:31
it yeah i have a close-knit group of gals that i've been friends with for the majority of my life
00:47:36
Even though we all lead busy lives in different parts of the country, we all still try to reconvene in our little hometown in Ottawa, Illinois, home of the Radium Girls, 15 minutes from the Star of Rock murders.
00:47:47
Wow. The tradition is to have a sleepover at my friend Leah's home. Her family lives two blocks from mine.
00:47:52
I've always been the chicken shit of the group. Think Vern from Stand By Me. I was gullible, easy to scare, and was always worried about getting in trouble.
00:47:59
Yeah, but don't... When you grow up, you're going to be really hot and cut. That's right.
00:48:03
What's his name? Jerry O'Connell. On one particular reunion a couple of years ago, I decided I would be brave for once and walk the two blocks to Leah's house at night rather than take my car.
00:48:14
Carbon footprint. I grabbed my overnight bag and pillow and set out for my harrowing journey.
00:48:19
I had walked one block when I noticed something strange on the street corner. Standing on the opposite side of the road under a streetlight was a young boy, maybe 12 years old.
00:48:29
he was holding a knife what i'm not good with children especially ones wielding weapons so i
00:48:35
high-tailed it to my destination away from my actual nightmare when i arrived i busted in the
00:48:41
door and yelled at the other girls that there was a little boy with a knife outside naturally they
00:48:46
all ran out of the house to see what the hell i was talking about the little boy was still there
00:48:50
and he had taken to repeatedly stabbing the light post oh after he decided he had done his fair share
00:48:56
of stabbing, he walked into the middle of the road, turned back to the streetlight, and
00:49:00
bowed to it. Like a full-on theatrical bow. One arm extended in front of him and everything. Yes!
00:49:08
Oh, Karen just did it. It looked amazing. Yes! Actor's bow. We watched him as he walked away, and when he was out of sight, everyone busted out
00:49:16
laughing. It was truly the strangest shit we had ever seen. I have no idea what the devil child was doing or where the hell his parents were, but he put
00:49:24
the fear of God in me and gave everyone else a good laugh. It never fails that someone
00:49:28
brings up Knife Boy at our reunions now. Stay sexy and just take your car, even if it's two blocks.
00:49:35
Carly. For real, Carly. You never know who's going to be out on that street. Yeah, but she wouldn't have had that story.
00:49:41
You know, it puts me in the mind of, as our friend, a chainsaw boy. Me too. But the vibe
00:49:46
is totally different. Yeah. It's, riding your bike around chainsawing down telephone
00:49:50
poles is a totally different energy. Menace. It's menacing. That's menacing. menacing. This little boy
00:49:55
stabbing a light pole, which means it's metal, which means that child's not okay. Yeah.
00:50:02
That's a cry for help. Yeah. It's not as proactive. She should have asked if he was
00:50:06
okay. She should have been like, could you give me the knife? Carly, where's your mommy?
00:50:10
No, her name was Carly. Carly should have said, where's your mommy? She should have said that to herself
00:50:15
and then driven herself wherever that inner child wanted to go. Carly, where is your mommy?
00:50:20
Carly! Carly, where's your mommy? Oh, Jesus. Okay. Okay. This is my last one. And the subject line is the Halloween witch.
00:50:30
Okay. I'm not going to read the entire subject line. Okay. I'm going to get away.
00:50:33
Hi, I'm FM fam. I'm a long time listener, but first time emailer. I've been debating sending the story in for a while.
00:50:39
So I was excited when you asked for Halloween stories. When I was growing up, my mom told me and my siblings the story of the Halloween witch.
00:50:45
The story went that the Halloween witch was a special witch. This is straight up some Laura Kilgarev shit.
00:50:56
My sister was constantly making up lies and scamming me out of shit when I was a kid.
00:51:02
Okay. Sorry. It's really getting me. The Halloween witch was a special witch who only appeared every Halloween night to get
00:51:09
what she loved most, candy. She loved candy so much that her teeth were rotten from eating it all the time.
00:51:16
she would fly around on her broomstick to different houses to see if anyone had left their candy on their doorstep.
00:51:22
And if they did, she'd take the candy and leave them a special treat. So every Halloween night,
00:51:27
my siblings and I would go, would not go home and count our candy like everyone else did.
00:51:32
Instead, we'd spend the night dividing up our candy to give to the Halloween witch.
00:51:36
Oh mom. Of course you couldn't just give her all of the Smarties candy corn and Tootsie rolls and call it a day.
00:51:42
No, You had to give her her fair share of the Reese's, Kit Kats, and all the good stuff.
00:51:46
Supposedly, if you gave her all the bad candy that you didn't want, she'd leave you a bag of coal.
00:51:51
I suspect my mom borrowed from Santa Claus stories for this. You have no idea how long it would take us to split our candy hauls in half.
00:52:00
Yes, we had to give her half of our candy. Oh, my God. Just like the government.
00:52:03
So smart. Even with an even mix of good and bad candy. Sometimes the debate between giving her a Twix or a Snickers was too much for us to handle
00:52:12
But it always paid off because we'd wake up the next morning to find a present on our doorstep
00:52:17
It was usually something we told our mom we wanted from the Halloween witch Which should have tipped us off
00:52:23
After some time we all knew the Halloween witch was like Santa Claus And that my mom, spoiler alert, had made her up
00:52:32
However it took me that was for all the people who needed to pause a podcast because people shouldn hear certain things at certain ages However it took me until high school to find out that no one else gave up their candy to the Halloween witch
00:52:49
In my defense, I went to a small private school with only like 10 to 15 kids in my class.
00:52:55
That's not an excuse. I was talking with a friend about Halloween and saying something like,
00:53:00
I remember going home and splitting up candy for the Halloween witch. and she looked at me like I was crazy.
00:53:06
Oh, God. I swear to God, I've lived this. She looked at me like I was crazy. Turns out no one else had a mom who cared so much about her kids having nice teeth
00:53:15
that she crafted an elaborate story so that they'd give up half of their candy and eat less sugar.
00:53:20
Imagine that. I recently asked my mom what she did with all the candy. It turns out she and my dad would take it into the office and share it with their co-workers
00:53:28
who must have loved them. Oh, my God. She also said that she got the idea from a friend,
00:53:32
But to this day, I've heard of no one else doing this. My mom has always been somewhat obsessed with us having nice teeth.
00:53:38
So I wasn't surprised to hear that that was the motivation for the Halloween witch.
00:53:42
Part of me respects that she stuck to the story for so long. And hey, I'm not mad that I got a nice present and made my parents more popular with their co-workers.
00:53:52
SSDGM Alyssa. It's pretty brilliant. Do you know what my sister, the reason I'm laughing so hard is because when we were really, really little.
00:54:00
and Laura and I had to take baths together she would have us play a game called the water witch and the bubble princess
00:54:06
and she framed it like a game so I was like yes let's play and because to me who knew which one was going to be
00:54:14
the water witch and which one was going to be the bubble princess and you want to be the bubble princess
00:54:17
but it would turn out Laura was the bubble princess every time and that would mean that
00:54:23
she would take all the bubbles in the bathtub and pull them to her side so that she literally was sitting like
00:54:28
passed her eyes up in bubbles and I was sitting in water. And that was the game. It took me
00:54:35
forever to be like, I don't want to play this game anymore. You get a bubble. I'm calling her as a bubble princess. I'm texting her right now
00:54:41
and saying, what's up, bubble princess? The water witch says, hey, girl. The water witch, why didn't I know by the
00:54:47
name of the game and how no fun it was that the second you got into the bathtub, you
00:54:51
just didn't have bubbles anymore. Yeah. It's hilarious. Maybe next time you'll be the water witch.
00:54:55
That's why. Who knows how the game's gonna go. Fucking big sisters, man. The worst.
00:54:59
Okay, here's my last one. It's a little long. Okay. Childhood ghost haunting. Hello, two-legged and four-legged pals.
00:55:06
I have a spooky story I'd like to share that haunts me to this day. As a young child, maybe nine or ten, my family and I visited the Hotel Del Coronado on a family vacation.
00:55:16
While at the gift shop, I picked up a book entitled Beautiful Stranger, The Ghost of Kate Morgan and the Hotel Del Coronado.
00:55:22
One of the employees saw me flipping through it and told me that Kate's ghost is alive and well and haunts her gift shop by turning on fans and throwing books off the shelves.
00:55:32
Brief backstory for those unfamiliar. Kate Morgan checked into the Hotel Del Coronado in November of 1892 and never checked out.
00:55:40
She allegedly died by suicide, though foul play was suspected, on the back steps of the Del after waiting five days for her boyfriend Tom to meet her there.
00:55:49
He never showed up. she still haunts the iconic hotel to this day back to my story for whatever reason my parents
00:55:56
let me buy this book and i read it cover to cover that night beginning signs of a future murderino
00:56:00
one particular story stood out to me where a hotel guest took a shower and when they got out
00:56:05
kate's initials km were written in the steam on the mirror i excitedly shared the story with my
00:56:11
parents though they didn't find it as fascinating as i did we all went to bed that night but little
00:56:15
did i know that that would be one of the most traumatizing and memorable nights of my life
00:56:19
Uh-oh. Around 2 a.m., I got up to use the bathroom. The next moments are burned into my memory so vividly.
00:56:25
I was sitting on the toilet, half asleep, and slowly looked to the right at the hotel bathroom mirror.
00:56:31
On the mirror were the initials KM. Suddenly, everything turned into slow motion.
00:56:36
The room started spinning, and chills ran down my body until I was completely numb,
00:56:40
unable to comprehend the fact that I was in the presence of a ghost. I started violently shaking and began what can only be described by my parents as a full-on panic attack.
00:56:50
I somehow made my way out of the bathroom and tried to tell my mom what was happening, but could not even form words.
00:56:56
I pointed to the bathroom in between blabbering, sobbing, and shaking. Without even missing a beat, my mom stormed over my dad and yelled,
00:57:03
Look what you've done! I was so confused. She continued to berate him at the top of her lungs.
00:57:11
Tell her you did that. What is wrong with you? Turns out the whole thing was just a practical joke My dad was playing on me by writing KM with a bar of soap And and he assumed i would see it in the morning and laugh it off i pretty sure i didn stop shaking and
00:57:26
crying until morning my mom was livid but my dad thought it was hilarious it is hilarious to this
00:57:31
day he can't tell the story without laughing so hard he cries fucking parents quick note to end on
00:57:37
i have a theory that the real kate is with me to this day i revisited the hotels in adele and bought
00:57:43
an ornament and displayed it on my bookshelf at home. I swore on my cat's life, who I love dearly, that one night while watching TV, the ornament
00:57:50
went flying off the shelf and landed at least six feet away from where I had it displayed.
00:57:54
That's because your cat hid it off the shelf. Come on. Also, the ceiling fans and microwave fans in my house mysteriously turn on every once
00:58:02
in a while. Coincidence? Probably. More fun to theorize about? Absolutely. Absolutely.
00:58:07
Anyway, stay sexy and don't play practical jokes on your impressionable daughters.
00:58:12
Jamie. That is. Tell her what you've done. See, people always forget trick or treat.
00:58:18
Everyone's focus is so much. Oh, is this candy bar the best? Which one is? Yeah.
00:58:21
Which state likes which candy bar the best? Full size candy bars are mini fun size.
00:58:26
Oh, I wonder. It's not really fun. The question is, what could happen to you that other people will think is funny because they see the big picture?
00:58:33
And that you, because you're so freaked out about the vibe of the evening. Oh, thank God.
00:58:39
no one I know is like trick people like jump out from behind should we like make a plan for
00:58:45
when we're together on Halloween that we will scare each other one time okay sounds
00:58:51
good should we shake on it yeah boo it's gonna be a spooky Halloween oh fuck I bet you're
00:58:59
good at it I bet you're better than I am I'm just gonna like hide behind a bush and go
00:59:03
boo you know what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna go and take all the money out of our joint account
00:59:08
and when you when you took our bank account at dinner fuck fuck fuck oh shit and my card gets
00:59:15
declined when I try to pay no I got I got this with my favorite murder account oh no
00:59:20
your decline that really is my number one fear I think all right I'm gonna do it then
00:59:24
uh I already I already thought of it you have to do you have to figure out my number two fear
00:59:28
spiders no failure yeah I'm just gonna go Karen You failed. No, okay. Yeah. Do you have a fucking hooray?
00:59:44
It's time for the fucking hooray. Let's do it. You want me to go first? Sure. Do you want to?
00:59:49
Mine is just that I've been walking. That's good. Yeah. I've been like not loving myself lately.
00:59:55
Sure. In a pretty strong way. I'm with you. I'm hearing you. I feel it. And I made the big mistake of buying a scale.
01:00:03
Oh, yeah. I know. Yeah. And I just can't fit into any of my clothes. And I've just like not been stoked.
01:00:09
And so I'm instead of doing nothing. Yeah. I'm trying to do something. Good. That's all it takes.
01:00:16
Yes. So I've been walking. You're pushing that. You have to push the boulder downhill.
01:00:20
It has to get started somehow. And so doing something is the key. Okay. Tiny baby steps.
01:00:26
But also that's good because then it's releasing dopamine into your brain and making you feel better.
01:00:30
Right. You're taking charge of your chemicals. Right. And I'm getting some sun too, which I think I need to.
01:00:35
Very good. Like vitamin D. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also just, is it that lovely track?
01:00:40
Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. So it's like nice and listening to a book. I'm enjoying myself.
01:00:44
Why not? And maybe the dopamine will help with my self-esteem. I think it will. Okay.
01:00:49
Because then you're also, you know, inside you're doing something for yourself, which
01:00:53
is like right there as you've played a card in your own favor, kind of. Yeah. I've been doing the same with swimming.
01:00:59
Yeah, I know. I'm so impressed. Thank you. Well, it feels so good once I do it. But it is unbelievable when I actually start to pay attention to how much I resist doing anything at all.
01:01:13
Oh, my God. Me, too. It's crazy. So it's like I almost started just having to go like I hear the talk beginning of how I can't do it.
01:01:22
And then I just don't listen and just go put my bathing suit on really fast. Yeah.
01:01:27
Just so I'll do it. Yeah. Will you not swim naked? No. Oh, my God. But my that was me caboosing onto yours.
01:01:37
No, please do. So out of the way. Now it's mine. Get in here. But also but I would say also and this is this is purely for like the fun of it.
01:01:47
But also I really find people like to make a lot of jokes these days about how like everyone's into horoscopes and the trendiness of horoscopes, the trendiness of whatever.
01:01:56
But I really find I think it just another step in people trying to become aware like just give me some kind of sign of what should I be thinking of What should I be aware of And it like usually
01:02:07
positive, like ways to change and to become a better person. Yeah, I think so. Or at least
01:02:12
just why don't you pay attention to this like mindset, right? Where it's like, do you need,
01:02:17
are you being negative? Do you need to be more positive? Are you looking at the world a certain
01:02:21
way should you be whatever yeah so i just want to say if that's something that you like and you're
01:02:26
interested in doing my friend ariana lonarski reads tarot cards on twitter so her at is a dream
01:02:35
city tarot and she pulls cards for you through this little app and you actually pull your own
01:02:42
cards and then she reads them for you and she's so good at it i want to do it you should totally
01:02:47
do. I'll give, I'll give you this. Well, you read my moon cards when we did a fan cult video
01:02:52
recently. I fucking loved it. You were like, you're going to hate this. You're going to hate
01:02:55
this. You're going to hate this. And I loved it. Oh, I'm so glad. Yeah. I think it's the kind of
01:02:59
thing, like whatever it is, I just like the idea of like mindfulness. It's yes. You can,
01:03:05
you other outsiders may judge it as being woo woo or whatever, but who gives a shit? Yeah.
01:03:10
You don't have to listen to those people. And it's fun to go, Oh, like I find with my obsessive
01:03:15
thinking and the things that I attach to and then decide are bad. I always like to judge everything that's going on inside me instead of just letting it happen.
01:03:24
And so it feel like looking into things like this, it's almost just like going, yes, you
01:03:29
have this feeling or this energy in this area. It's fine. Or move it to this area or just consider this.
01:03:36
Like, it's always good. There's more there's more options than just the one that your brain automatically jumps
01:03:40
to. Yeah. And why not be like, oh, if I can access some like larger knowledge through these cars, that'd be cool.
01:03:48
Sure. Why not? I mean, who knows? It's like, yeah. And also the Loch Ness Monster's reel.
01:03:54
God damn it. And you believe in Yeti. I'm just saying, look for the answers wherever they might be found.
01:04:01
Okay. Please. Okay. In Loch Ness, Scotland. In Loch Ness, we trust. Thanks for listening to this very special Halloween episode.
01:04:10
We hope you guys have a really good and safe Halloween. Yep. Have fun. Why not give out full-size candy bars?
01:04:16
Sure. Make your kids here. Or just eat one yourself. Yeah. Have a couple. Know when to cut it off.
01:04:21
Yeah. Don't be afraid to go walk around. That's right. And stay sexy. And don't get murdered.
01:04:26
Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie? Oh, it's alive. It's alive. Did that thing come back?
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