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and became sought after by patients. He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies.
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My favorite murder Hello! And welcome to My Favorite Murder, the mini-sode. This is where we read you back your stuff.
00:01:47
Don't you love it? We do too. That's Georgia. And that's Karen. That was tight as a drum.
00:01:52
Oh my God. We've never done an intro so beautifully professional. truly and effervescent oh oh really that's my compliment to you are you ready i'm ready
00:02:03
a body in a weird place you asked that's the subject nice hi karen georgia steven and fauna
00:02:10
love it in minnesota 63 you asked for emails re bodies in weird places well i'll tell you where
00:02:17
i found a guy he shouldn't have been when i lived in santa barbara in the mid 1990s
00:02:23
I worked at a fancy resort in the room service department taking phone orders. If you want to know, but I can't say it on the pod.
00:02:31
Sorry. Believe it. The hotel property is super old, and there are rumors that it's haunted.
00:02:40
I usually worked the late shift, so I got off work at 1 a.m. We were required to wear uniforms at work and to change in and out of our uniforms on the premises in a locker room.
00:02:49
The locker room was in the basement near the accounting office. uniform checkout room and the pastry kitchen neither of which were occupied by staff late at
00:02:58
night there was a weird door in the locker room into a closet that had a window um in it with those
00:03:03
old spanish style bars on it one night i was changing from my uniform into my own clothes
00:03:07
in the locker room there wasn't another soul in the basement already such a big problem for me
00:03:14
or so i thought oh no more problems as i was standing in my underwear in front of the mirror
00:03:20
there was this ledge to put your clothes on, purse, etc. while you changed. I heard a loud sigh that sounded like a man in aroused state.
00:03:31
I looked up at the mirror to see if there was someone or a ghost behind me and saw a reflection in the mirror of a man's face
00:03:38
looking at me from the closet through the barred window. I screamed. He came out of the closet.
00:03:46
I thought he was going to attack me and being cornered in the basement, I ran toward him ready to beat the shit out of him.
00:03:52
Yes. Parentheses. Mind you, I'm still just in my underwear. He ran away from me and exited the locker room.
00:03:59
I quickly got dressed and went out to call security. I recognized the man as a housekeeper who frequently came to say hello to me when I was working.
00:04:08
Security called the police and searched the property to find him while I waited in a secure location.
00:04:13
I didn't want this creep to follow me home. They eventually found him hiding on the property and arrested him.
00:04:18
He was cited for a misdemeanor and released I never heard from the DA or the police after that
00:04:23
But he was fired from his job As you well know, at that time Peeping wasn't seen as a first step in escalating sex crimes
00:04:31
I never saw him again But I hope that asshole didn't go on to commit more or worse sexual assaults
00:04:37
I don't live in Santa Barbara anymore But I will be coming up for my favorite weekend and I can't wait
00:04:41
By the way, I will not be staying in that hotel SSD GM and don't go into a basement locker room
00:04:47
alone late at night, Christine. Wow. Can you imagine you look, it's 1am you look in the mirror and behind you
00:04:55
you realize that you're not seeing just darkness inside a closet. There's a face staring back at you.
00:05:01
And you're at your most vulnerable you have no clothes on. Oh god. That's horrifying.
00:05:06
Just the worst. Here's my first one. This one's called Don't Die Over Minimum Wage.
00:05:12
Really? Hello, all. Let's move on to the reason we're here. When I was 19, I worked at a small frozen yogurt shop where I had to close the store by myself because our district manager was trash.
00:05:24
For real. Total garbage. The Froyo shop was in a medium-sized, middle-class town, meaning you could find meth by going floor blocks in any direction.
00:05:32
The store was set up with a lobby immediately inside, yogurt machines on one side with a door leading to the back, and the register straight across from the front doors.
00:05:40
I'm closing alone one night and in the back area washing the dishes when I hear the bell ring signaling a customer had just walked in.
00:05:47
This is weird because I could have sworn I locked the door when I had started my closing tasks.
00:05:51
I peek my head out from the back to see a large man right inside the front door staring directly through my eyes into my soul I call out in my customer service voice Oh I sorry sir We closed for the evening This did nothing to stop him
00:06:05
And I realize he's most likely on drugs when he continues to stare and walk towards me, only saying yogurt.
00:06:14
I apologize again and my brain goes into survival mode. I pretend to call out to my non-existent co-workers saying, no, it's okay.
00:06:21
I'll let him know we're closed. large and burly maybe meth man starts to walk towards the door that leads to the back area
00:06:27
where i'm at saying no i'm already here no no that's not how it works it doesn't work that way
00:06:33
motherfucker i decide i'm not willing to die over minimum wage and pick up two large butcher knives
00:06:38
and wave them around like a crazy lady saying you have to leave we're closed he puts his hand up
00:06:44
apologizes and leaves good i run and shove a chair under the front door call my stepdad to come pick
00:06:49
me up and get the hell out of there. Yeah, I quit the next day because fuck that shit. Maybe he
00:06:54
really wanted yogurt and was just hungry. But I'm glad I went with my gut instinct in that moment.
00:06:58
Yes, I'd rather be alive and crazy than trusting and dead or assaulted. Hello. Hi. P.S. I think I
00:07:04
listen to this podcast too much because sometimes I hear things or drive by creepy looking houses and
00:07:09
think to tell you guys about it. And then remember, you don't know me and we aren't friends. Yes,
00:07:14
we are. Stay sexy and don't die over a minimum wage and always make sure you're willing to look
00:07:18
like the craziest motherfucker in the room. You're a friend in another lifetime, Sasha.
00:07:23
Sasha, it's so true. Sasha, great job. Really good job. And also, fuck people who don't let teenagers who work for minimum wage in those retail
00:07:33
spaces that they don't schedule two people. Yeah. And that making anyone close by themselves that's in high school, boy or girl, that's
00:07:42
bullshit. No, it's all so frightening. It's not cool at all. Yeah. Yogurt. Yogurt shop murders.
00:07:47
You actually think it immediately. That's right. Because it's, yeah, people are vulnerable, trapped in a spot.
00:07:54
Yeah. There's so many of the stories that we've told that start with a person who's just doing their job, doing the thing they're supposed to do.
00:08:01
They're following the rules. They're trying to make their money. Piece of shit comes around and takes advantage of that bullshit.
00:08:08
Assholes. God, I love frozen yogurt. OK, this I'm not going to read this subject line because it gives everything away.
00:08:14
OK. Hi, MFM crew. In honor of a Oh, this is after Halloween But in honor of spooky Halloween
00:08:20
I wanted to write in about the time My mom and I saw a dead body I live in Florida and usually go home to Pennsylvania
00:08:27
Once a year in October to visit my family And go to the annual Apple Harvest Festival in Gettysburg
00:08:33
Yay I love the apple bread enough to get past the fact That it's the Women's Republican Party
00:08:39
That makes and sells it as their fundraiser Oh, honey, you're giving money to the Republican Party
00:08:46
just make your own apple bread get the fucking recipe from an old lady in your family
00:08:52
that's right I bet you could find one online there was a time where that was okay
00:08:57
and both sides and partisanship not anymore it's fucking 2019 there are babies in cages it's not a joke
00:09:05
how do you like them apples please right now give some money to races which is the
00:09:12
charity that's down in Texas that's trying to help immigrants and people whose children have been taken away from them
00:09:19
because they're trying to immigrate to a better country and get away from the war in their country.
00:09:25
Son of a bitch. Anywho, and that's on the page. Last year when I was home, I was in the car with my mom about a mile from my grandparents' house
00:09:33
when we see a man laying on the ground in his driveway, not moving. I say something to my mom and ask if we should go back and see if he's all right.
00:09:40
And my mom says, no, hopefully he's dead. That man that lives there is a pedophile.
00:09:45
mom i love mom suddenly she's redeemed she went on to tell me that he had been in and out of jail
00:09:52
for raping multiple young girls around the time that my mom was a kid in the 70s my mom was right
00:09:58
he was dead he was shot on his porch and had crawled down his driveway for help a few days
00:10:05
later a man turned himself in for murder apparently the dead guy was sleeping with a married woman and
00:10:11
her husband decided to kill him. I can't get past the fact that a woman was sleeping with a convicted child rapist.
00:10:18
Yeah, that should be an automatic deal breaker. Keep up the great work. This podcast, this podcast keeps me sane on my 90 minute commute.
00:10:28
SSDGM, Alyssa. Alyssa. I love it. The mom was like, who cares? Keep going. Seriously.
00:10:34
I'm sorry, but that's not it's you get to withhold help for people that have only harmed
00:10:40
others their whole lives. I'm disappointed that he got killed for sleeping with a grown woman and
00:10:44
not for a child. It would have been more satisfying in the story. But either way, what's important is
00:10:51
that when he crawled down his porch to go get help, the people in his community said, guess what,
00:10:57
motherfucker? You're a bad person. You're the enemy. And you're going to have you're you're
00:11:02
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View important disclosures at acorns.com slash mfm. Goodbye. um i was a four-year-old murder suspect oh hello ladies thanks for helping me get into the mental
00:14:21
health headspace before i give ghost tours in washington dc had to really dig deep into my
00:14:27
memories and my parents for this one but i hope you enjoy it i'm from a small shore town in new
00:14:32
jersey quiet your typical suburban suburbia outside new york city it's january of 1998 i
00:14:38
had just turned four the october before and had come down with i think with scarlet fever whatever
00:14:42
where that is. So my mom takes me and my then 14 year old aunt to our local pharmacy to pick up my
00:14:47
prescription. My mom goes in to pick this up, leaving me and my aunt in the car. She passes
00:14:53
a guy to pay phone. It was 1998. Don't forget. And who then went into the pharmacy. My mom gets my
00:14:59
medicine and we leave in her strawberry colored Dodge neon. Again, 1998. Yes. The next day,
00:15:05
there was a message from the Middletown Police Department looking for me by name. I repeat,
00:15:10
I was four with some disease we thought had been eradicated in the 19th century.
00:15:14
Yeah. My mom called them back and they wanted to speak with me. And my mom laughed and said that it would be difficult since I can barely form full sentences.
00:15:22
Turns out they were calling because I, all caps, was the last name on record at the pharmacy that night and their number one suspect.
00:15:31
Mom explained my age and they dropped that angle. It turns out the guy called from the payphone in front of the pharmacy and called for a cab to be picked up.
00:15:40
When the cab arrived to pick him up, the guy robbed the driver in his cab behind the pharmacy and stabbed him to death.
00:15:46
Oh, my God. My family recall it was like for $27 or so. So apparently he killed the cabbie while mom was in the store and me and my preteen aunt were parked right around the building in the same parking lot.
00:15:57
It ended up that the guy lived across the street in some sketchy apartments that have since hosted local sex rings and a drug dealing love trial gone wrong, which coincidentally involved my high school crush.
00:16:08
Guess things don't always go well for the hot quarterback. Oh, no. Supposedly, he ditched the knife in a pond.
00:16:15
I did some digging but couldn't find much, but my parents are pretty sure he was caught.
00:16:18
I hope so. Yeah, finished crossed. Yeah. My supposedly quaint hometown also claims a man who beat his wife to death with a frying pan and a murdered school teacher.
00:16:27
Between that and all the Trump 2020 signs, you can imagine why I moved to D.C. So anyways, don't just stay sexy and don't get murdered, but don't get suspected of one either.
00:16:37
Em. oh my god i love the idea that they're the they bring a four-year-old into the lineup
00:16:42
yeah but the guy in the payphone was the murderer calling the cab yeah company horrifying also those those kind of random um murders are so awful where it's like i'm gonna
00:16:55
murder a cab driver and get like basically almost no money some innocent dude who's just fucking
00:17:02
trying to make a living that's drugs that's drugs yeah every time it's somebody that's
00:17:07
terribly strung out on drugs and everyone's lives are ruined. Totally. It's so fucked up.
00:17:12
Okay. On a slightly lighter note, all of mine are like perv based this week for some reason.
00:17:17
I have pervs in every single one. Mine's a little more lighthearted, the last one.
00:17:21
Okay, good. Great. We can go up, up, up. Yeah. Yeah. The subject line of this one is the Swiss cheese perverts got nothing on this guy.
00:17:27
Okay. I'm here. Dear MFM queens, the most powerful of which is Stephen's mustache.
00:17:34
How dare you? So, parentheses, insert whatever compliment would be most flattering to you here.
00:17:40
I love everything about you, so I'm sure it's true. Thank you. It's our teeth. Well done, yes.
00:17:44
So I bet you receive stories about creepy rideshare experiences all the time, but I truly hope,
00:17:49
for their sakes, that other listeners haven't had this totally insane experience.
00:17:54
In early September of this year I had to catch a 7 a flight cross for work I was cranky because A this Sunday flight for work ruined my weekend and B it was simply too early to be socializing with other humans
00:18:08
Nonetheless, I called a Lyft and got into the assigned red Nissan Cube, red flag number one.
00:18:13
A normal person would never pay money for that monstrosity. A Cube. That's editorializing.
00:18:20
Some people, some DJ hamsters love it. it was immediately clear that this driver was socially awkward and nervous
00:18:27
as he never looked at me either directly or in the rearview mirror absolutely no eye contact at all red flag number two
00:18:35
very true also his small talk was abysmal instead of asking me innocuous icebreaker questions
00:18:41
he volunteered arbitrary information about himself at random intervals red flag number three that's so fucking true
00:18:48
it's like people who don't know how to interact with other people they're just like, I talk now. I talk about this. My thing. Now, I only live about 20 minutes from
00:18:57
the airport, and though I was annoyed with his fledgling conversational skills, we made it to
00:19:01
the 15-minute mark before I started getting scared. This driver started telling me a story about a few
00:19:06
days before when he'd been sitting on a park bench and saw a baby squirrel fall out of a tree. He said
00:19:12
he searched for its mother, realized it was alone, and found it food to try to keep it alive. This
00:19:17
seems like it'd be a nice thing to do. So I said, that was nice of you. It is now clear to me that
00:19:22
that was the wrong thing to say. His response was to abruptly lock eyes with me in the rearview
00:19:28
mirror without breaking eye contact. He took one of his hands off the steering wheel and very slowly
00:19:33
unzipped a cargo pocket on his pants. Then he placed his hand back on the wheel and broke eye
00:19:39
contact. Seconds later, a baby squirrel crawled out of the cargo pocket. A baby squirrel crawled
00:19:46
out of his pants. This is my dream ride. What are you talking about? Someone who doesn't talk, doesn't make you
00:19:52
talk. I don't want to fucking talk in a new room. You're just talking at me? Great. And then you present
00:19:56
me with a baby squirrel? It's like my birthday. It was in his pants. That's, I think, the... It was in a
00:20:01
pants pocket. Well, true. I mean, there are many pockets on cargo pants. How close was this pocket to the crotch? We're not
00:20:08
sure. Well, it's warm there. A baby squirrel needs warmth. Okay, sorry. Go on. So,
00:20:11
back to the letter, I froze in terror. the squirrel crawled over the front passenger seat as soon as he knew that i'd seen the squirrel
00:20:19
he started turning around to look at me making as much eye contact as possible as he rapidly asked
00:20:25
me personal questions is that building where i picked you up the place where you live how old
00:20:29
are you do you ride to the airport every sunday do you think i could give you a ride again sometime
00:20:33
oh my god that just gave me weird baby squirrel chills i lied in response to every single question
00:20:40
Great job. Quickly realizing that he was not a socially awkward nerdy guy, but instead he was getting off on trapping me in a car with a squirrel.
00:20:48
He was fidgeting in his seat and moving his hand across his pants in a very specific way.
00:20:53
No, no, no, no. All while stealing glances at me every few seconds to make sure I was still freaked out
00:20:58
by the live animal in the car with us. Needless to say, I got out of the lift at the very first possible door to the airport,
00:21:05
grabbing my bag while inside the car so he wouldn't help me. He wouldn't get out to help me with it.
00:21:09
I can confidently say that this was the first time I actually wanted to be in a TSA line.
00:21:14
After my flight, I complained to Lyft and they refunded me the cost of the ride, but
00:21:18
I was disappointed that they wouldn't confirm to me whether or not he was fired.
00:21:22
Forced kink participation and possible animal abuse is quite a lot to go through in one
00:21:27
car ride. Stay sexy and be on the lookout for a red Nissan Cube, Meredith. Oh my God.
00:21:33
Oh shit, girl. That's intense. That really is. This is, I'm just going to say humorous and infuriating.
00:21:39
Oh. Hello, MFM fam and pets. In 2007, when I was 21, I was living in northwestern Mississippi with my parents after having moved home from my first attempt at college.
00:21:48
Oh, I'm with you. One evening, I got pulled over in a small town called Batesville for having no taillight.
00:21:54
I got a ticket, fixed the light, and went on about my business. A few months later, my mom checked the mail and handed me a letter.
00:22:00
The return address was from the Mississippi State Penitentiary. And there was a big red stamp on the envelope that said inspected.
00:22:07
Immediately, a little freaked out, I opened the letter of the sink, hoping any anthrax or poison or prison dirt would fall into the sink.
00:22:14
And I could immediately wash my hands. In hindsight, that was probably a bad idea because it would have then gone into the water system.
00:22:20
But who's thinking about that when you have prison mail to open? Luckily, the letter inside wasn't poison, but it was definitely weird as fuck.
00:22:27
The letter was two pages long, front and back, and written in pencil. I forget the man's name, but we will call him Bob for now.
00:22:34
The letter started with, Hello, Miss Watson. My name is Bob, and yes, I'm a prisoner.
00:22:39
No shit, Bob. It went on for two pages, first explaining that he was incarcerated for grand larceny
00:22:44
and the murder of someone he robbed. He said he had no problem writing out his sentence,
00:22:48
but that didn't mean that we couldn't still take opportunities to make money. He offered for me to go in with him on a totally fucked up plan,
00:22:56
where I would take out ads in newspapers for homosexual men to send money for gay porn.
00:23:01
They would send the money to a P.O. box he already had set up and we could split the money.
00:23:06
No idea if this porn existed or not, or if he was going to rip them off. What the fuck?
00:23:10
Yeah. He then answered the most important question. How did he get my address? Well, apparently the town of Batesville, Mississippi, where I got that taillight ticket,
00:23:19
prints the name, offense, and fucking address of anyone who gets a ticket in the fucking newspaper.
00:23:25
No. The next day I called the Batesville newspaper and the police station to inquire slash complain about this
00:23:31
and was pretty much told that that was policy, and if I know all my address ran in the newspaper,
00:23:35
then I shouldn't get tickets in their town. I explained that a criminal had gotten a hold of my address from the newspaper
00:23:40
and was soliciting illegal business ventures, and now he knows where I live, and they just laughed and said,
00:23:45
yep, that happens sometimes. Motherfuckers. Well, then let's put their address in and see how they feel.
00:23:51
No one cared that I was a 21-year-old female who commutes alone an hour each way,
00:23:55
and now the entire world has my private info. I don't know if they still do that, but I sure hope not.
00:24:00
All of that was fucked up. It did result in a funny saying my mom and I still say to this day when talking about finances.
00:24:05
Bob closed the letter by saying, quote, people can be gay, straight, black or white, but money is always green.
00:24:12
Stay saved and do God's missions. Jess. Oh, my God. Here's the problem. They're using that getting a ticket as some sort of like don't do it again next time.
00:24:23
Yeah. If your taillight goes out, you didn't there. You can't prepare for that. No.
00:24:29
It's not like she was speeding. It's not like she was drunk driving. That's a that the punishment does not fit the crime in that situation.
00:24:37
It's still also like, well, you got the ticket. So that's that's the crime. I mean, that's the punishment.
00:24:42
And she paid for that ticket. Like, fuck you for then personal address. Yeah, that's not that's probably not legal.
00:24:50
I can't imagine it is. Let's take on an entire city. Yeah. Here we come for you.
00:24:55
Batesville. Home of the fighting. Sprengers. Send us your story at my favorite murder at Gmail.
00:25:04
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Hill House makes fun, versatile fashion that elevates your look. I now own three nap dresses.
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I love them. They're so comfy and cute. Pockets for days. Pockets for days. You know.
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Get 15% off your first order of $100 or more at hillhousehome.com with code MFM15.
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That's MFM 15 for 15% off at hillhousehome.com. Goodbye. Pandora jewelry brings the sparkle to summer now with even better prices.
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Shop now for up to 50% off select jewelry featuring personalized pieces to must-have summer favorites.
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Timeless jewelry made to move with you through every moment. Shop in-store or online now through July 5th.
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Terms and conditions apply. See pandora.net for more details. Goodbye.