00:00:00
This is exactly right. Isn't some far off concept? It's already here. Next starts now.
00:00:33
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00:01:06
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00:01:41
Hi, everybody. Oh, my God. Isn't it exciting, everybody? Yeah. The first annual My Favorite Weekend.
00:02:08
That's right. Yes. It's an exactly right whom's whom. That's right. Exactly. How was the murder squad?
00:02:19
Tell us the truth. Tell us every word. Were they so amazing? Isn't it hilarious?
00:02:25
like whatever two years ago it was like Paul Holes was just this distant internet dream
00:02:31
and now it's like he's doing the weekend with us come on everybody we're all hanging out backstage
00:02:38
yeah just chilling talking about the biz you know just stuff like that we're very excited to be here with you tonight
00:02:46
yeah yeah it's exciting a lot of fireball feelings in the audience what did you guys think of that
00:02:53
oh my god They were like, we need a specialty cocktail for the weekend. And I was like, I don't want to do that anymore, make up cocktails.
00:03:01
So I said, let's do Pabst Blue Ribbon and a shot of Fireball. Yeah. And it happened.
00:03:07
Yeah. That level of power now where when we say the specialty drink is Pabst Blue Ribbon and Fireball,
00:03:15
everyone goes, let us make that happen for you. I'm sorry about your hangover tomorrow.
00:03:21
You're going to hate your life tomorrow. I apologize in advance. The bad decisions that are going to result from you having a third,
00:03:29
triflers need not apply, are unbelievable. They should come with a two minimum. Maximum.
00:03:36
Minimum? Minimum. Maximum, yeah. Let's ruin some lives. Oh my God, this feels like camp.
00:03:45
It's very campy. So the first thing we're going to do tonight is record a mini episode
00:03:54
like we do at home. But we'll do a live for you here right now. Are you ready for it?
00:04:02
Whoa, whoa. Yes. Whoa. This is made of 100% cat fur. I didn't realize. No, no. Clearly we're in rich people territory
00:04:12
if the chairs are like this. Oh, oh, oh. This isn't smart water. that's the only water we drink
00:04:24
that's a really nice rotation it is a nice chair that's a good fucking chair everybody
00:04:29
these are good oh let's hear it for DJ Dante Fontana and DJ Fifi LaRue they're good friends of the podcast
00:04:39
we were all on LiveJournal it's been great you met on Makeout Club LiveJournal you know all the hits of the early aughts
00:04:49
remember what about don't care thank you it's not if this isn't like oh i get to shout my feelings
00:04:56
time and you know that you know that if you're here at the weekend you know that
00:05:01
so we're gonna we picked out hometowns i was saying we should do it how we do at home which is
00:05:09
quietly read and go we wanted to just read in front of you for like 22 minutes which is what
00:05:17
happens to Stephen when we do it there. Where we just circling. It's true. It is true.
00:05:29
But instead, we're going to do show stuff and actually read the stories for you. And then
00:05:35
we're going to do a hometown episode where the least drunk of you get to come up on stage and
00:05:40
actually tell us your hometown. So it looks like it's going to be two members of
00:05:45
the staff and Vince Averill. I'm just going to say, start drinking water now, okay?
00:05:52
Great. You'll thank me tomorrow. Do you want to go first Absolutely Okay great Good Nice nice you guys
00:06:05
Pin drop silence. The subject line of this email is a very witchy first responder email.
00:06:13
Hey team. That's a new one. Hey team. Hey team. You asked for all things weird and spooky, so I hope this hometown delivers.
00:06:22
If not, well, fuck it. Very strong start. I work as a first responder in a rural county in Northern California.
00:06:32
Hey. Northern California. It's six miles behind Southern California. Thank you. As a former hometown to a couple of not-so-victims, there is no short of weird.
00:06:53
oh okay naso asshole um such as a mannequin dressed as hannibal lecter poised at the end
00:07:01
of a very dimly lit dead end street which is displayed year round that's not seasonal what
00:07:07
there's always a mannequin of hannibal lecter at the end of the street just leave your christmas lights up uh which is worse
00:07:16
while i was on training long before i was accustomed to the bizarre occurrences that
00:07:22
seemed to occur daily. I was on patrol when I saw an elderly woman screaming and running out to the
00:07:27
roadway. The woman, who was all of four and a half feet tall, ran up to me, screaming in a language
00:07:33
that I could not understand. Her daughter ran out of the house and apologized profusely. She said her
00:07:38
mother was suffering from dementia and was confused. Her mother became even more enraged
00:07:43
and grasping my arm. As the tiny woman held my arm, she yelled, her daughter translated,
00:07:49
she's cursing you and she giggled awkwardly i assumed that she meant cursing at me until two
00:07:57
weeks later i was in the emergency room with inexplicable swelling to the same arm the tiny
00:08:03
angry woman had been clutching oh no yes several nurses and doctors examined x-rayed and poked at
00:08:10
my arm but could find no reasonable explanation as to why my arm was swelling to twice its size
00:08:17
and sadly workers' compensation does not cover witchcraft. I asked. It was nearly two years later when I had my second encounter
00:08:26
with a person of the witchy persuasion. I was conducting a coroner's case of an elderly woman
00:08:31
who, prior to her demise, was an end-of-life caretaker. She had amassed an entire family of loved ones left behind
00:08:38
by those she cared for and was, by all accounts, a gem of a human being. While looking through the house, I found loads of homeopathic remedies
00:08:46
and a book about white witchcraft. I assumed she was an extremely curious retiree.
00:08:53
Wrong. You know. As I made my way through the residence, I turned the corner and found myself standing in front of a black altar
00:09:00
adorned with figurines, dollar bills, and burned photos. The walls and ceiling around the altar were painted in inky black.
00:09:11
After my first encounter with the wacky world of witchcraft, I put on my gloves and back the fuck out of the room.
00:09:18
And then in parentheses, as if latex glove protected against woo-woo. No. I asked her family if she was a bruja.
00:09:28
Her broken-hearted adopted daughter smiled and said, yes, we don't go in that room.
00:09:34
They don't say that beforehand. It's like the cat box room at my house. I just stay away.
00:09:41
Just don't go in there. Just don't go in there. It's none of your business, really.
00:09:45
She told me about the trips to the store for ritualistic chicken feet and how she would burn photos of her granddaughter's boyfriends
00:09:50
whom she did not trust. All right. Okay. After learning more about her life and her practice,
00:09:58
I'm sure she was a benevolent bruja, but I kept my gloves on the entire time. Stay sexy and remember that workman's comp
00:10:05
does not cover witchcraft-related injuries. No name. Sweet. That's a good one. Sweet.
00:10:13
That was a good one. That was nice. How about this? Hello, ladies, gentlemen, and furry friends.
00:10:22
Okay. I mean, look, you've got to do what you've got to do at the beginning of these emails.
00:10:26
Whatever it takes. I thought you might be interested in this story because it takes place in mine and George's hometown of Irvine, California.
00:10:35
They like it. Okay. I'm on board. I mean, I'm not moving back. but consistently rated one of America's safest cities.
00:10:44
A few years back, a new family moved into our neighborhood, a mom, dad, and their young adult son.
00:10:49
I started feeling like the new neighbor's son was watching me, and I was pretty sure he had followed me while walking my dog
00:10:54
and taking our daughter to the local park multiple times. Additionally, I started suspecting that he was walking by my house unnecessarily,
00:11:02
and I started parking his car so that he could see into our house. look love is a strong emotion oh no you keep reading i'll talk after okay i told my husband
00:11:13
my fears and it erupted into literally the biggest fight of our now 15 year relationship
00:11:19
because he said that i was making this up in my head because i read too much true crime and that
00:11:25
i was concerned and was concerned because someone was walked just walking around the neighborhood
00:11:33
He's just walking around the neighborhood. I feel like this guy's going to get his comeuppance at the end of this email.
00:11:38
I think so, too. I have a good feeling. I ended up calling the cops the day after this fight
00:11:42
because I thought that he followed me home from a park once again, and the cops said that they really couldn't do anything
00:11:47
because he was just walking around. A week later, the Irvine Police Department called me back
00:11:53
and wanted to talk to me about the report I had made the week prior Apparently this gentleman had broken into a house near mine while everyone was in the house and sleeping and climbed on top of a 21 girl
00:12:05
She woke up and screamed and her male roommate ran into the room and startled. The assailant
00:12:10
jumped and ran out the back door. The cops caught him later that night. I had to testify at the
00:12:15
trial and found out that this girl had also felt like he was watching her for days. She looked
00:12:20
almost exactly like me. At one point, I got to read some of his testimony, and he admitted that he had been following me
00:12:26
and that I had a big black dog that barked at him. In court, baby. I'm sorry, but that was the
00:12:32
like, what did I fucking tell you? Um, let's, you know what? Sorry. Will you read that back, please?
00:12:38
I don't think he heard it. Always trust your gut and lock your doors, even in the safest city in the U.S.
00:12:45
No name. Amazing. a real comeuppance. I mean, the idea of someone telling me that I'm overreacting.
00:12:55
I mean, ever! Yes. No, sorry. Okay. Especially in the height of an overreaction.
00:13:00
That's the worst time to do it. Not mid-scream. Okay. Where are you at? I'm all right.
00:13:09
Okay. I'll just read this. It just starts like this. Karen, Georgia, Stephen, Elvis, Mimi, Dottie,
00:13:15
Frank, and George. Vince should get a shout out too. And as well he should. A few weeks ago, my boyfriend, family, and I were out to lunch,
00:13:25
and my mom and I were talking about what her life was like growing up in Southern California,
00:13:29
given she lived there from 1956 to 1981, a.k.a. when all the shit was happening.
00:13:36
She very casually mentioned how she discovered she had a broken back while riding horses.
00:13:41
Ouch. It turns out she fucking rode horses and took riding lessons from one of the Manson family members at the Spahn Ranch.
00:13:50
What? Oh, my God. Now, honey, I signed you up for horse riding lessons, but it's a bit out in the desert and you have to take this tab of acid first.
00:14:03
I don't know why. I don't know why. Just do it. That was my character, the mother.
00:14:09
That was a good one. Thank you. A year and a half of acting lessons at Sac State University.
00:14:18
One of the greats. One of the greats. My grandma took her there once and got the fucking heebie-jeebies
00:14:24
and told my mom they were never going back. Nice. Okay, that's good. As I was trying to pick up my jaw, wanting to ask all the questions,
00:14:32
she then proceeded to tell me the Hillside Strangler was also active in one of the neighborhoods she lived in.
00:14:37
And then parentheses, seriously, how the fuck is she alive? In 1981, my parents moved from L.A. to Bend, Oregon, which also happened to be not so far away from a little town called Antelope, where the Rajneesh had moved and all the people were freaking the fuck out.
00:15:00
Oh, shit. It's the greatest hits. My mom shared with me that there was a time my grandma was visiting, and they wanted to go to the High Desert Museum, which was the only museum in Bend.
00:15:11
My grandma decided to wear a maroon blouse, purple pants. Oh, no. Oh, no. And when they got to the museum, the Rajnees was also there.
00:15:25
My mom, in a panic and concerned my grandma was going to get mistaken for being part of a sex cult.
00:15:30
left before she could ever explain anything to my grandma. My boyfriend usually never has anything to contribute
00:15:37
when my mom and I get into our talks, but as we were talking about the Rajneesh,
00:15:41
my boyfriend turned to us and said, my dad interviewed my aunt Sheila at the compound.
00:15:48
My mom's eyes almost burst out of her head, and she screamed, tell me everything!
00:15:53
Yay! At this point in the conversation, all I could do was laugh. My mom is the one who I share a true crime passion with,
00:16:00
so it's not uncommon for us to start talking about this shit when we're together.
00:16:04
She's no G-murderino. My boyfriend's dad was a radio news reporter, and while the Rajneesh was active,
00:16:11
he would go to the compound to conduct interviews for radio segments. He still had several tapes that have never been heard
00:16:17
or were used by the news station when he was talking with Sheila. He also still has the welcome gifts that they would give to those who came to visit.
00:16:25
once we open one and I'll let you know what's inside oh once we've opened one I thought she was just
00:16:33
intentionally fucking with us in this email I was about to rip it in half thanks for all you do
00:16:39
for empowering women for being honest and open about your own mental health struggles
00:16:43
and how it's okay to not be okay yay it's really okay it's okay it's more than okay
00:16:51
it's pretty standard actually it's a must for this crowd It's a must-do for America.
00:16:58
Because of you, I established a relationship with a therapist. I'm conquering my anxiety.
00:17:03
You ladies always make me laugh every episode and make my commute so much more enjoyable.
00:17:08
Stay sexy and be sure to properly vet equestrian teachers and don't get murdered.
00:17:13
With gratitude, Laura. That was great. Man, they really ruined maroon caftans, didn't they?
00:17:22
I can't wear my maroon shirt with my purple pants anywhere in Antelope. Without seeming like I'm in a cult.
00:17:29
Or looking like a human bruise. Come on, Grandma. Okay, this one's last, and then this one's second.
00:17:36
And then, okay, here we go. About ten years ago, when living in Portland, Oregon,
00:17:40
it was still affordable. When it was still affordable, my ex-husband Ian and I rented a wee rickety house
00:17:46
with a giant leafy backyard on an unincorporated road. All the neighbors were students and or criminals
00:17:52
Or both Chickens ran amok and several busted cars and trailers Were waylaid in the dirt road Riddled with vines and moss It was a great neighborhood Ian and I were relaxing one night with beers in our big overgrown backyard and our wild severely drunken
00:18:08
aborist, aborist, arborist, I knew, I knew I was going to get it wrong. Arborist, thank you.
00:18:16
Arborist. Here's an amazing subgroup of MFM arborists. His name is Bradwyn. Arborinos?
00:18:28
Oh my God, are you being serious? Yeah. Oh my God, front row and everything? Fucking arborinos in the front row, ladies and gentlemen.
00:18:38
Yeah! That's what my favorite weekend is all about. Arborists coming together. Trees and murder.
00:18:45
Trees and murder. Fuck yes. What a diverse community! Okay, his name was Bradwyn.
00:18:56
Arborito. Sorry. It sounds like someone who's really into Arby's. Or Arbor Mist.
00:19:04
Oh, yeah. Mixed together. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We're back. So, their neighbor, their severely drunken, arborist neighbor, Bradwyn, crashed through
00:19:14
our back gate and yelled, do you guys have any drinks? Is it me in 1991? Hey, listen, do you have extra beer here?
00:19:30
Drunk Karen. Drunk 90s Karen, our favorite Karen. Yes. Yay. We handed him a beer, because that's what you do, I guess.
00:19:42
And he proceeded to regale us with the stories of cutting trees for other crazy people.
00:19:47
Before he told his best story, he lurched out into the end of the yard under a giant Douglas fir and took a whiz.
00:19:53
He came back and said, man, I've been pissing blood because of this massive kidney stone.
00:20:00
My ex and I eyeballed each other knowing that Bradwyn had just pissed blood under a beautiful pine tree.
00:20:05
This doesn't have anything to do with the story. I just love this part. How awful. It's like nature. And here's Bradwyn.
00:20:12
This reminds me of when I drink too much coffee in the morning and I start writing emails.
00:20:17
And I'm just like, it starts about one thing. And then I'm like, you know what else I hate?
00:20:21
Just like, do we need to know about Bradwyn's kidney stone? We do. Okay, okay. No, we don't.
00:20:28
Full trust. We don't. Okay. We started getting up to go inside, but Bradwyn proceeded to tell us his claim to fame arborist story.
00:20:35
Living in California years back, he had been hired by a prominent lawyer whose name he did not mention.
00:20:41
Bradwyn was up in a big tree cutting branches, and the lawyer was hanging out on the ground below him,
00:20:45
enjoying a cocktail and regaling him with his crazy lawyer stories. As Bradwin was chopping away, the lawyer's daughter came outside.
00:20:52
She was about eight years old, and she interrupted their conversation, saying, Daddy, there's a phone call for you.
00:20:58
The lawyer said, Honey, please don't interrupt. You can see I'm busy. Great parenting.
00:21:02
Talking to the arborist. He started talking to Bradwin again, and the daughter became impatient.
00:21:07
Daddy, the phone is for you. He said again, Sweetie, I told you that interrupting is wrong.
00:21:12
Now go inside and take a message. Then the little eight-year-old girl yelled, Fuck you, Daddy, it's Bobby Shapiro.
00:21:23
The dude went running into the house to take the call. Apparently, this lawyer was on OJ's defense team,
00:21:30
and Robert Shapiro was on the horn. Fuck you, Daddy, it's Bobby Shapiro. My ex and I laughed our asses off,
00:21:39
and gave Bradwyn another beer. It was an entertaining night. Um, say sexy and don't let your drunken arborist neighbor piss blood in your backyard, but do let him fill you in on his OJ connections, Jessica.
00:21:56
Yeah. Fuck you, daddy. It's Bobby Shapiro. What is that family like? That's amazing.
00:22:04
Where is that little girl now? You can't interrupt, but if it's an emergency, say fuck you to me.
00:22:08
Fuck you, yeah. These are the rules of the house. no running that's a lawyer's daughter for real use your words please oh fuck me oh bobby shapiro
00:22:19
okay all right okay while the world watches the stars at the fifa world cup this summer
00:22:27
hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent the future soccer stars who are already
00:22:31
turning heads at age 14 making plays that end up on everyone's feed scoring from angles that don't
00:22:36
make sense rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust because next doesn't wait for
00:22:41
invitation and Hyundai doesn't either. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach. Hyundai
00:22:46
did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle. Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with
00:22:51
ultra fast charging capability. And Hyundai continues doing it every day. From robotics
00:22:56
that change how people live to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far
00:23:01
off concept. It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye.
00:23:06
Bye. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. It's 2026. And if you have an alternative career like food photography or professional mixtape making
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Goodbye. Goodbye. Summer clothes should feel easy and still look polished. Low maintenance, high reward.
00:24:05
That's how we live our lives. For summer clothes you will actually wear, there's Quince.
00:24:09
Quince has beautiful everyday pieces like 100% European linen pants, dresses, and tops with styles starting at $32.
00:24:16
Their denim is soft and easy to wear, and their organic cotton sweaters are perfect for layering on cool summer nights.
00:24:22
Everything at Quince is priced 50% to 80% less than similar brands because they work directly with ethical factories,
00:24:27
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00:24:35
kitchen, bedding, and beyond, making it easy to bring a more premium feel into everyday life.
00:24:40
I am a fan of Quince. Yeah, Karen's wardrobe is Quince. I'm a lazy basics person.
00:24:47
And the things that I get from them, I always go, oh yeah, now I'm wearing these.
00:24:50
They work, they're cute, they're stylish. And they're classy. Like it doesn't look lazy, it looks classy.
00:24:57
And it's so affordable. Yeah. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash MFM for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.
00:25:06
Now available in Canada, too. That's quince.com slash MFM for free shipping and 365 day returns.
00:25:13
Quince.com slash MFM. Goodbye. I won't read the subject line. It's a spoiler. No.
00:25:24
Hi to all heartbeats, furry and not. That's creative. Right? It's poetic. It's a little creepy.
00:25:33
It's all very creepy. I mean, what are we fucking doing? Right? I could not be further from your target audience.
00:25:40
I'm a single man, 52 years old. I also happen to live by myself in the forest. I love you.
00:25:49
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Please, please come and pick me up right now. I am begging you.
00:26:04
The fucking brawny man is writing to us right now. Oh, my God. My home is four miles.
00:26:14
Oh, in California's Calaveras County. My home is four miles. My home is four miles as the crow flies
00:26:23
from the site of Leonard Lake Charles in torture and murder bunker. Those dicks.
00:26:30
I don't know if you've done this story, but it's a bizarre one. We haven't because it's the worst.
00:26:39
If they just yelled, yes, you have, I'd be like, super sorry, we have done that one.
00:26:44
I'm a Bay Area native, born in the city. Born in the city during the summer of love,
00:26:53
raised in the East Bay an unincorporated portion of Contra Costa County called Tara Hills.
00:26:59
Sure. When I was six or two, someone yelled, fuck you. Fuck you, daddy. It is on. I love that you hate when they yell, I love you. But if they
00:27:14
yell, fuck you, I love it. Please learn what I'm about. Thank you. When I, okay.
00:27:22
When I was six or seven years old, I had established myself within my large cousin group as a fearless child.
00:27:28
I did the same thing. As this is the mid-70s, I can best liken myself to Tanner from the Bad News Bears, including his varied and colorful use of language.
00:27:38
It was this act of fearlessness that led to one of the most shocking, fear-filled memories that has scorched into my psyche for life.
00:27:44
He typed dramatically in the forest. His bald head gleaning. His brawny head. His paper towel-covered head gleaming in the sunlight.
00:27:56
On what must have been Halloween in 1974 or 75, although I can't be certain, I found myself being led through the neighborhood by my large group of older cousins.
00:28:05
After a long and successful tour of the neighborhood, I was informed that it was time to return home.
00:28:09
Of course, I refused. Loudly, I demanded to go to just one more house. Being both loud and lazy, I chose the house closest to the current position.
00:28:17
It was a corner house. It was a house shrouded by darkness. a house with not one single bulb burning.
00:28:24
This house appeared to be dead. Up the porch steps my large lazy ass went. My fat fingers found the doorbell
00:28:36
and rang in rapid fire a dozen times or more. When that failed to get a response,
00:28:40
my pudgy fist found the door and banged out a rude knock. On what would have been the fifth or sixth fistfall,
00:28:49
the door disappeared. my pudgy fist never found the door again. In its place were now a set of craggy legs, skinny enough to doubt their stability,
00:28:58
holding up a pair of dingy blue boxer shorts. The instability of the legs was belied by the strength of the voice.
00:29:05
Oh, my God. Is this guy a poet? Kind of. That now boomed down upon me with what seemed like cartoon visible sound waves.
00:29:15
Get off my porch, you little. Young, lazy, and pudgy, though I was, These terms did not describe the grace, agility, and speed I displayed as I seemingly appeared back with my cousins.
00:29:26
I arrived on the sidewalk just in time to hear the loudest door slam I have heard still to this day.
00:29:31
It wasn't long after when we noticed a new family living in the corner house. Thankfully, Mr. Blue Boxers had moved away.
00:29:39
What seemed like a very long time passed between my childhood trick terror and the day that we saw that man again Mr Blue Boxers had gained weight when we saw him again on the evening news The breaking story was that of the rape and mutilation of a young woman
00:29:55
Yep, Mr. Blue Boxers was in fact Larry Singleton. Oh my God. He trick-or-treated at fucking Larry Singleton's house.
00:30:05
He banged on the door until Larry Singleton answered the door. Guys. I've shared stories like this in the Zodiac
00:30:16
The Night Stalker, Trailside, Lake Eng, etc. With my daughter who has literally been a murderino since birth
00:30:22
She grew up in Benicia So the Zodiac happened in her backyard Her natural inclination to true crime
00:30:28
Led my daughter the murderino I created to turn me into a murderino Despite my location at 180 degrees
00:30:36
From a typical murderino And being alone in the forest stay sexy and don't get murdered
00:30:41
but maybe give the forest another chance not all the arborists here are like yeah
00:30:51
this is fucking this night we call night one of the weekend tree power night and this is just the end of that
00:31:00
not all who wander her beautiful canopy are serial killers at least one of us is a murderino
00:31:06
sincerely Donnie I love it Yeah, yeah Alright, let's go to hometowns, guys Let's do the hometowns, everybody
00:31:17
Alright Here's how it's gonna go Let's see, I pick people first What's that? I pick people first
00:31:26
Yeah Okay, look, can I have the lights up really quick? A little bit of house lights
00:31:31
You're gonna be going Oh, here's Vince Oh Okay, you're going to meet him right over there.
00:31:45
There's rules to this whole thing. Yes, as you well know. And this is an important thing, I think, for continuing on in this evening and through the weekend.
00:31:56
You can pick one of two lanes. You can be fireball drunk, or you can come and tell your story.
00:32:04
Those two lanes will not intersect. And if you jump up here and then you're in the fireball lane, we love you, we'll hug you, and you get pushed off stage.
00:32:13
That's just how it is. Because there's good stories to tell, and they've got to get told.
00:32:17
But the bad ones, no booing and no yelling. It's scary. Yeah, yeah. Don't yell at the other people.
00:32:23
You yell at us for your own reasons. But no yelling at the lay people. And we get to do this more than once.
00:32:31
So if you don't get picked tonight, don't worry, because you'll have another chance.
00:32:35
Cool your fireballs. Hi. Hi. Hi. Okay. We'll start with Alyssa. Alyssa will be number one.
00:32:47
Let's do it here, and then we'll do it after. Right here. Alyssa, everybody. Georgia, this is Alyssa.
00:32:53
Oh, here. OG, Marta Reno Fanco. I love it. Yes. Hi. Hi. Is that on? I'm so excited.
00:33:00
I'm Alyssa. I'm from Atlanta, Georgia. Oh! Thank you for traveling so far. It's my hetero life mate Nikki's 40th birthday.
00:33:09
Happy birthday! So this is our adventure. Great. I love it. So I am from Marietta, Georgia, which is a...
00:33:17
Really? No, they're just doing that. Oh, okay. They just kind of power through it.
00:33:22
Fair enough. It's a suburb about 20 miles north of Atlanta. We birthed Newt Gingrich, and I'm really, really sorry about that.
00:33:30
Thank you. So in 2004, this guy, John Hutcherson, and his best friend Frank were at a bar, drinking, having a good time,
00:33:42
and decided that they needed to drive home after being very intoxicated. And they were driving in his truck, and Frank at one point apparently got sick, and he was feeling really bad.
00:33:56
So he leaned out the window and they were driving down this very windy road, which has, you know, power.
00:34:06
Oh, no. I saw this movie. Wait, this is called hereditary. Go ahead. Go ahead. They may have gotten the idea from that.
00:34:14
Yeah. Yeah. So at some point he's swerving and gets too close to one of the power lines.
00:34:21
No. And Frank's head is off. You're right. Shit. And apparently he was so drunk that John didn't notice that this had happened.
00:34:34
No. Drives home, parks the truck in his driveway with his friend's body sitting in the press
00:34:42
desk. Oh, my God. Goes upstairs covered in blood and passes out in his bed. What?
00:34:49
So 8 a.m. the next morning, this is the neighborhood that I grew up in, too. Oh, wow.
00:34:56
A dad and his little baby daughter are walking down the street and sees the truck with the body in it and calls the cops.
00:35:07
And they go upstairs and wake him up and are like, hey, what happened last night?
00:35:12
And they had to go back to the place, the scene of the accident to find his head.
00:35:16
Oh, my God. So this was the neighborhood I grew up in. He is his little sister is really good friends with my little sister.
00:35:25
So this was big. So you know for a fact this really happened and it wasn't an urban legend or anything like that?
00:35:30
100% lived less than a mile from my house. Holy shit. That so awful So he went to prison obviously for manslaughter But he out now and I checked Facebook and he living life
00:35:46
Oh, my God. I don't know, though. I don't know how okay. I mean, I'm assuming nightmares are happening at some point.
00:35:53
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the spooky Halloween story is what you just gave us right there.
00:35:59
Yeah. Holy shit. Well, we started off with a bang, everybody. Nice one. Marietta, Georgia, showing up and playing strong tonight.
00:36:13
Jamie. Jamie. Everyone, this is Jamie. It's Jamie, everybody. And we forgot to mention, you can do your hometown from anywhere.
00:36:21
It doesn't have to be from California. I'm from Texas, so I had to bring you guys.
00:36:26
Oh, sorry. I'm from Texas. She brought us Bucky. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, shit. Thank you.
00:36:35
Thank you so much. Hell yeah. They're beaver nuggets, but for some reason I just keep calling them beaver balls.
00:36:41
They are. For dirty reasons. Okay. What you got for us? So my sister is a, she's kind of a badass.
00:36:51
She's a SWAT team member. She's a detective, but she's also on the SWAT team. Nice.
00:36:59
My first female on her force. Wow. So she told me this story. Her name's Andrea.
00:37:04
Okay. Way to go, Andrea. Good job. She's really cool. And she's a little old like me.
00:37:08
And during the holidays, like for Christmas, does she come and like kick the door open and then get down?
00:37:14
Does she crawl, belly crawl through the backyard type of stuff? Sort of. Oh. Want to party with her.
00:37:20
Okay. Yeah. So she didn't work on this case, but she told me about this case, but it's actually kind of famous.
00:37:27
So this is the Louisville Chainsaw Massacre. So this was 2010 in Louisville, Texas, which is right outside of Dallas.
00:37:39
Yay, Texas. So this man, his name was Jose Coronado. He's a father of six and happily married.
00:37:53
Just a nice family man. And he suddenly had a strange period where people were saying, like, oh, he might be having a little bit of a nervous breakdown.
00:38:03
But he was actually starting to get into Santeria. And he had some suspicions that his wife was cheating on him.
00:38:12
So I, and I'm not, you know, I don't know much about this religion or anything. But from what I understand, part of that religious experience is that if there is a demon, the way to get rid of the demon is to cut off the demon's head.
00:38:27
So he discovered that his wife. That's foreshadowing. So he suspected that his wife was cheating on him.
00:38:37
So he somehow got all of his children to go to a restaurant. And this was like a Sunday afternoon, like 11.
00:38:46
got his family to go to a restaurant, convinced his wife to come home with him, where he had this all planned out.
00:38:55
I'm not quite sure of the logistics of this, but he had chainsaws that he duct taped one to each hand.
00:39:03
Oh, no. And then he chased her through the house with the chainsaws running. Sorry, how did he duct tape the second chainsaw?
00:39:14
I'm just saying. Did he have an assistant? Was the devil with him at that time? Like, did he have a machine?
00:39:23
He was a wizard. Okay. So he duct taped the chainsaws to his hands. I don't like this at all.
00:39:31
There's not a lot to like about this. But my sister was able to tell me that an inside scoop was that, well, she didn't run away from him very fast because he was able to cut her multiple times throughout the house.
00:39:45
Oh, so it's on her? Come on, Andrea. What the fuck? Just kidding. It's funny to turn on Andrea.
00:39:52
There was a trail of evidence of bits of the wife. This is the kind of story you don't want the inside scoop on.
00:40:02
You know what I mean? Yeah, really. Or that phrase used. Right. So she makes it basically to the front door
00:40:12
where he starts to dismember her in the house. And I think at this point she was dead.
00:40:19
But then he dragged her out onto the front lawn. So this is broad daylight. And then decapitates her on the front lawn.
00:40:31
And very calm, or no, actually it was in the street. So he dragged her through the front lawn onto the street,
00:40:38
decapitates her, somehow removes his little, arm situation, puts that on the bed of his pickup truck, and then just calmly drives away
00:40:51
in the family's other car. Wow. So the person who found this was the mailman, who was the first to come up on the scene
00:41:01
and sees something in the road and is like, what's that? And then he realizes it's a head.
00:41:08
And then when the police arrived, one of the chainsaws was still running in the back of his truck.
00:41:15
Yeah, I don't like this. Oh, but the best part is that he drives to, I don't mean the best part.
00:41:24
No, we get it. If anyone gets it we get it He drives to a car dealership where he deposits I don know why I looking at you so much You also here No go It okay I don need it hurtful
00:41:36
He deposits. I like you better. So he deposits the car and just, I guess, test drives another car and then drives that to Mexico.
00:41:45
Oh, my God. Where he's free. Wait. To this day? Yes. Oh. Sorry. Jamie, you guys.
00:41:53
Until tonight's spotlight. Oh, no. Jamie, everyone. Leave it to Texas. Thank you, Georgia.
00:42:01
Thank you very much for that awful story. And wonderful, delicious treats. Okay, Georgia, can we take a moment, a pause,
00:42:10
to say Georgia randomly chose two beheading stories. How? You got a third? Who's doing this?
00:42:17
No. Okay. We're not getting a third. Oh, great. Don't. Lauren, where are you from?
00:42:31
I'm from San Clemente, California. All right. So, okay. So I grew up in San Clemente, California.
00:42:40
My friend who's in the audience with me as well. and we knew a set of twins who their family did a mass suicide, if you will, a five-person suicide.
00:42:56
So the twins, they were 21. We went to high school with them. They dressed the same through high school.
00:43:04
You know, they were recluse a little bit, and their family, all of a sudden, nobody heard from them.
00:43:11
they live in a gated community rich family and um one day the family uh relative was like
00:43:20
where where are they we don't know and nobody was like we don't know what's going on and
00:43:26
three weeks later somebody was like it kind of smells oh no and so they go into the house
00:43:35
And it's a mass suicide, five-person suicide. But the twins are tucked in bed. Everybody's in black.
00:43:44
The twins are tucked in the bed, and they were poisoned with Vicodin. Aye. And the grandma also poisoned with Vicodin.
00:43:56
And then the mom and the dad, the dad was shot, and the mom shot herself. Shot herself.
00:44:04
So she committed suicide. So she was like the mastermind of it. Wow. And nobody to this day knows like why they did it.
00:44:13
It's like they never interviewed any friends or family. Like it was just kind of like that's what happened.
00:44:22
So that's what happened. But it's very weird. It's really weird. Nobody's weird.
00:44:28
You're right. It's terrible. It seems like there's a deeper meaning there. But like nobody cared to investigate it.
00:44:34
Yeah. I don't know. Orange County, man. Orange County, they're just like, whatever, sleeping under the road.
00:44:39
Yeah, exactly. So that's nice. Good job. Lauren, everybody. Give it up for Lauren.
00:44:47
Oh, my God. You guys, tomorrow night we're going to do some more. Everyone's going to have their head on, though, the whole time.
00:44:53
I feel like that should be the new rule. We're going to do a no decapitation rule.
00:44:56
We've covered all decapitation stories. That's right. Well, that was a really strong kickoff of awful shit.
00:45:01
Yeah. Yeah. Just terrible, terrible story. Yeah. We hope you guys can sleep okay tonight.
00:45:09
Don't have hangovers tomorrow. We'll see you tomorrow. Oh, yeah. We'll see you at the brunch tomorrow.
00:45:13
See you at the brunch. We're going to do a real show tomorrow. It's going to be a lot of fun stuff.
00:45:18
Yeah. We're so excited. Thank you again for coming here, playing along, being our friends.
00:45:23
Yeah. We're so excited to see you, and we will see you tomorrow. Yeah. Bye, you guys.
00:45:26
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