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00:01:28
My favorite murder the little red hen. Remember that one chicken that did all the work? Yeah. Yeah. Do that.
00:02:02
My family's was Choo-Chee Choc and Hachi Choo-Chee Choc. I was telling you about that.
00:02:08
Say the names again. Choo-Chee Choc and Hachi Choo-Chee Choc. And who were these people again?
00:02:13
I think they were little chickens that lived on a farm. That's what my grandma told me.
00:02:17
Okay. But my whole family, like, that's the story we were told us growing up. So was it Hardstark's side or your mom's side? My mom's side.
00:02:23
So was it a lore, like they made the story up, or was it an actual like folk tale?
00:02:29
Someone tell me. It might be an old Yiddish folk tale. Have you ever heard of Choo-Coo-Chok or Hakko-Choo-Coo-Chok?
00:02:34
Well, let us know. Let us know. At myfavoritmurder.org. Please. Okay, you go first.
00:02:39
Are we ready? Ready. Now, these ones are Ireland, right? These are Ireland and UK.
00:02:46
I am from Manchester. Because we're going to be in the UK and Ireland this coming, this week.
00:02:52
Very soon. Yeah. So there's live shows. Go to myfavoritemurder.com. Check out if we have tickets left or not.
00:02:58
And then if you have any civic issues, go to myfavoritemurder.gov. That's right.
00:03:04
Okay. So this first one, the subject line is fucked up hometown murder, rural Ireland.
00:03:09
Great. This is what we're here for. Howdy ho, partners. In an Irish accent, though.
00:03:16
Like, think of it in an Irish accent. Oh, howdy ho, partners. So that was terrible.
00:03:20
it says I'm from Ireland so I don't know why I did that I'm just very excited to be emailing ye
00:03:26
a long one but worth it I am from a all caps tiny place where there has never been any crime until this happened
00:03:34
anyway in December in early December of 1998 a 17 year old girl was brutally raped and murdered and her body was found
00:03:42
later the following day on a nearby beach by a man walking his dog she had been driving around with her friends
00:03:48
when she decided she needed to go to the bathroom and tried one of the local pubs, but because she was underage and
00:03:55
the pub was closing, they wouldn't let her in. A mistake I'm sure that haunts them to this day.
00:04:00
She told her friends that she would walk to a nearby chip shop and try there, and that
00:04:04
was the last time she was seen alive. As she was walking toward the chipper, a local man who she would have known because everyone
00:04:13
knows everyone around here, in his late 20s, stopped and asked if she needed a lift.
00:04:17
She said yes innocently and got in. I don't know the exact details of what went on in the car, but I do know that she went on a drive and somewhere along the way must have realized what was going to happen to her.
00:04:29
He brought her to a local, very secluded beach near his home and proceeded to rape her with an object and must have beaten her pretty badly and left her there hoping for the tide to take her out.
00:04:39
Luckily, it didn't. Her cause of death was put down as drowning and compression of the neck.
00:04:44
The man went back to the local nightclub In a different outfit And started fighting with people
00:04:48
To cause a scene So that he could use it as his alibi He was taken in for questioning
00:04:54
And the guards found fibers From her cardigan and socks On his jumper and in his car
00:04:59
He was sentenced in 2001 To life in prison for her murder Plus another 10 years for her rape
00:05:04
He is still in prison today But rumors swirl around every year That he will be getting out soon
00:05:09
Stay sexy and don't get murdered And for the love of God If a young girl needs to use the bathroom
00:05:13
Just let them do it and don't let your friends Go off on their own Love the show, keep doing what ye do
00:05:19
It makes me laugh and cry and allows me to Ignore people, bye Oh my god, there's no name
00:05:25
That might be the heaviest one we ever started with Yeah, why not get into it This is what Ireland is all about
00:05:30
They tell ye the truth, they tell ye the whole story And guess what, god damn it
00:05:35
Terrible accent Now drunk Irish Karen Oh Jesus, drunk Irish Karen I'm going to have to be hypnotized
00:05:43
back into a recidative state. All right. That's not a word. Yes, it is. Is it? Isn't it?
00:05:50
This one's called Creepy Christmas. Hi Karen Georgia and assorted fluff balls No Love it I not got a murder story for you I not got a murder story for you This is from Manchester I not got a murder story for you but have a messed up story my dad told me which I just have to share
00:06:08
I'm from Manchester in the UK, and my dad was a sergeant for Greater Manchester Police.
00:06:13
Yes. His job always sounded so interesting, and I'm sure that's where my love of true crime came from.
00:06:18
Anyway, my real story is about a Christmas party from my dad's earlier days on the force when I was just a baby.
00:06:24
Dad had drawn the short straw and had to work Christmas Day. Normally, Christmas Day call-outs were the usual family fallouts over burnt turkeys,
00:06:30
and there was always one woman who tried to chop off her husband's dong because he'd
00:06:34
bought her an iron for Christmas. And then she said, I mean, I'd be pissed too, but that's a bit too far.
00:06:39
This one call-out was about suspicious activity at the local funeral home. Creepy already, right?
00:06:45
So my dad and his partner go to investigate the building and see that the lights are on
00:06:49
and they can hear Christmas music playing pretty loudly. As they walk into the morgue in the basement, they find the mortician sat at a table enjoying his Christmas lunch with a bunch of dead bodies propped up.
00:07:00
No. And then all caps and wearing freaking Christmas hats. Oh, no. The guy had no family, so decided to spend the day with the guys from work.
00:07:10
No, they're not. No, they're not the guys from work. I'm not even sure what law this breaks, but hopefully a shit ton.
00:07:16
I know the guy lost his job, but I have no idea what happened after that. My dad always loved sharing his weird ass stories and was definitely a secret murderino.
00:07:24
Even though he passed away a couple years ago, the family keep retelling his stories.
00:07:28
And it's a great way to keep him with us as well as creep out new people. Yes. Which he totally would have loved.
00:07:34
Hope you all enjoy the weirdness. Stay sexy and don't get murdered at Christmas.
00:07:37
Amy. Amy, oh my God. Just the vision of that. Yeah, because coming up on it, hearing the music first, there is something very sinister about Christmas music.
00:07:46
Yeah. It's that kind of thing of like, it's only good. Especially when it's like too loud.
00:07:50
Yes. Like inappropriately loud Christmas music is a horror movie. It already, it just sets the perfect scene of I'm so creeped out.
00:07:56
Yeah. And it's just jingle bells. I can't hear you. Jingle bells is too loud. What are you saying?
00:08:01
I think the law, isn't the law like defiling a corpse? Yes, definitely. There's definitely got to be.
00:08:07
Plus you probably have to have some kind of certificate or something to work there.
00:08:11
Where you promise not to do bad things. Not to hurt. Great. Okay, so the subject line of this one is,
00:08:21
Times My Mother Almost Killed Us, Ireland edition. Yes. This is what we've been waiting for.
00:08:27
Hi, Elvis, Mimi, Dottie, Frank, George, and staff. Amazing. Perfectly executed. Long-time listener, here answering the call for Times Our Mother Almost Killed Us.
00:08:38
There were many times we just about escaped with our lives growing up in the 70s and 80s,
00:08:42
but here are two stories that were a bit too close for comfort. In the mid-70s, my mom was driving up the street in our local town on her way to do the weekly food shop.
00:08:53
My older brothers, aged two and three at the time, were bobbing around in the back seat with neither a car seat nor a seatbelt between them.
00:09:02
What for? They could let them be free. Mom noticed it had gone suspiciously quiet all of a sudden, so she glanced over her shoulder, only to see one of the back doors wide open and no sign of the two-year-old.
00:09:16
The three-year-old, his arch nemesis, was sitting, looking upwards, practically whistling.
00:09:22
My mom slammed on the brakes, swung around, drove back the way they came, and there was the two-year-old sitting in the middle of the road, covered in blood.
00:09:31
One quick trip to the dock later to confirm it was all superficial, and the skin on his face would grow back, and then straight home to lock the child back door.
00:09:40
Oh, my God. And then straight home to child lock the back doors. Wow. So now on to my story.
00:09:48
When I was five, I was playing in the garden by myself. My mom was indoors washing up when something told her to check on me.
00:09:54
A miracle as she never checked on me. When she went out there, I was hanging by the neck from an excess piece of cord from the washing line.
00:10:06
I had started turning blue but was still conscious. She couldn't free me, so she had to run indoors to get a knife to cut me down.
00:10:12
Holy shit. We sat on the lawn all afternoon as she hadn't the strength in her legs to walk back from the shock.
00:10:19
Dude. The only thing I remember from it is having to wear a giant polo neck all summer to hide the mark around my neck.
00:10:27
I'm getting chills. Also, I love, I mean, I know it's because she doesn't remember, but it's like, how'd you get up there?
00:10:35
What were you doing? Right. Why was this the situation we were in? Sure. these are just two of the many near-death experiences
00:10:42
I remember as I helicopter my own parents now, my own children always, oh anyways
00:10:47
stay sexy and don't hang out on washing lines, Martina wow, oh those are maybe two of the worst ones
00:10:55
in one story, yeah pushed his brother, a three-year-old pushed a two-year-old out of the car
00:11:00
yeah and then like in Raising Arizona, flip around and go back and the kid's just sitting in the middle of the road.
00:11:09
That was like two of the best in one. Like short and sweet. Yes. Okay. And horrifying.
00:11:14
I have one along the same lines. Okay. It's called tender baby kebab slash 911 operator.
00:11:20
Oh, no. And then the greeting is all. Yeah. Finally. All. I used to be a 999. That's 911 in British, as you know.
00:11:31
Operator when I was in my early 20s, based in Glasgow, Scotland, where I still live.
00:11:35
We took calls from all over the UK for particular cell phone companies, so you never knew what you were getting into.
00:11:41
Wait. So you never knew what you were going to get. About 90% of calls were pocket dials or old people looking for a chat.
00:11:48
But some of the real calls stuck in my mind nearly 20 years later and the most recent minisode brought this one flooding back to me unfortunately Oh no One slow afternoon I took a call from a very calm English lady asking for an ambulance My role was to connect her to someone at the ambulance service
00:12:07
and then stay mutely on the line to make sure the dispatcher got all the information they needed.
00:12:11
Sometimes it was an interesting call. We'd linger to hear the details, which is how I came to hear
00:12:16
the following. The dispatcher asked the lady what had happened, and she very calmly said that her
00:12:21
two-year-old son had been helping her in the kitchen as they were baking some cakes.
00:12:26
He was standing on a chair. Then it says, all caps, red flag. Yeah. With a wooden spoon in his hand.
00:12:33
Then it says, red flag. And being a teething toddler, when he inevitably slipped, the spoon went, all caps, straight
00:12:40
through the roof of his mouth and was now lodged there. Oh, no. That's right. A tender baby kebab.
00:12:48
Oh, no. the ambulance dispatcher remarked that she was very calm and she said oh i know it'll be fine as
00:12:55
long as i don't look inside the kid wasn't even crying and seemed to be supremely unconcerned by
00:13:00
what was happening by this time i could hear the ambulance arriving so we had to hang up and i often
00:13:04
wonder what happened next but the image has never left me and it makes me wince every now and then
00:13:09
i'll let you uh i'll tell you about the time i heard a guy getting shot in a supermarket parking
00:13:14
lot and had to give a witness statement for another time. Wow. Stay sexy and for the love of God, don't suck on the end of a kitchen utensil.
00:13:22
Claire. Claire is so right. Claire. About that. A hundred percent. I bet you that baby wasn't crying because the grandma wasn't freaking out.
00:13:30
Right. That's how they do it. Right. Have you ever seen that where like a little kid falls down and then people who don't aren't
00:13:35
used to kids go. That's me. That's me. I get freaked out. And they're like, chill the fuck out or the baby's going to freak out.
00:13:42
Yeah. And Nora, one time, I remember her being like two and she hit her head really hard.
00:13:46
She's walking and hit her head really hard against the wall. And I go, oh, Nora, like that.
00:13:52
And she goes, I know I had to be more careful. It was the cutest thing where I was like, I was just trying to do it to make it like, that's too bad.
00:13:59
But like, we don't need to cry about it. She's like self analyzing what needs to happen next.
00:14:07
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00:14:24
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00:16:02
Goodbye. Okay, the subject line of this was, I thought I was going to get murdered on my way to Loch Ness.
00:16:10
Yes. Hello, MFM crew and animals. Hearing Karen talk about Nessie in the spooky Halloween episode reminded me of an incident that happened to me in Scotland.
00:16:19
I went to Scotland last year to fulfill my grandfather's dream of visiting the ruins of our ancestral castle.
00:16:25
Jesus. Cadzow Castle, which he hadn't been able to do because of his poor health.
00:16:31
I had a great time while I was there. And of course, I took a tour up to Loch Ness.
00:16:35
Loch Ness is gorgeous, but a lot smaller than you might think. While it's certainly very dark, long and deep, it's also very narrow.
00:16:42
Loch Ness is the lake itself, right? Yes. OK. The word loch is Scottish for lake.
00:16:47
Oh, got it. You can always see the other side of the lock as you drive along the shore.
00:16:52
Pretty. I took a cruise on the lock, but there was no Nessie sightings on the sonar.
00:16:57
Just past Glencoe, on our way up to Loch Ness, our tour guide pulled the small 12-seater bus off the small winding mountain road into the long driveway of a construction site in the middle of nowhere.
00:17:08
He said he was making an unplanned stop that he didn't usually make and told us all to stay on the bus while he got out.
00:17:15
Run. Everyone else seemed really excited. But I was looking out the window at the three construction dudes carrying shovels walking towards our bus and thinking, well, it's a good thing my travel insurance will pay to repatriate my remains if these guys murder us.
00:17:29
Oh, my God. There's got to be someone thinking of reality. Yeah. Hi, it's me. Hi, it's all of us.
00:17:37
Yeah. Suddenly, everyone else started gasping and screaming. So I turned to look out the other window to see what they were looking at.
00:17:44
Our tour guide had managed to coax three wild deer over to our bus, and we all got out to feed them carrots and bread.
00:17:53
They were gentle and gorgeous. It an experience I never forget and I really glad our tour guide didn turn out to be a murderer Stay sexy and trust that if a tour guide was homicidal the company he works for probably wouldn have a 4 star review rating online
00:18:09
No name. Oh, I love it. It's amazing. Oh, I love it. Oh, how fun. People are screaming about deer.
00:18:16
Yeah. Oh, man, I thought those shovels would come back into play. For sure. Thank God they didn't.
00:18:20
All right. This one is called, well, I'm just going to say it's called A Story from a Feminist Museum.
00:18:27
Okay. Hi, Karen in Georgia. Hi. Hi. I was excited to listen to Minisode 89 and hear your call out for objects from museum workers.
00:18:34
Yes. And then your latest episode that asks for stories of cats saving people. Because if there's a Venn diagram of the two, this is it.
00:18:42
Yes. I work at the UK's only accredited museum dedicated to women's history, Glasgow Women's Library.
00:18:48
Nice. The name is a bit of a misnomer because although we are a library, we're also a museum, an archive, and we specialize in celebrating the lives, histories, and achievements of women in a very intersectional feminist way.
00:19:00
But anyone is welcome to visit. We are based in Glasgow, but we work across Scotland and welcome visitors from around the world.
00:19:06
The object I'm sending you is a story of a cat saving someone, which I know you'll all enjoy.
00:19:11
it's a newspaper clipping that was unearthed from our archive during a recent project looking at the
00:19:16
work of scottish women's aid a groundbreaking movement working to challenge and prevent
00:19:21
domestic abuse the clipping was found by our archivist elizabeth and has become a firm favorite
00:19:26
here at gwl someone must have kept the clipping when recording incidents of violence against women
00:19:31
but luckily this particular woman had max the cat on her side so i'm going to read you the clipping
00:19:35
right now. Oh, shit. Clipping reads, Cat thwarts attack on owner. Max the cat thwarted a
00:19:41
sex attacker, sinking his claws into the face of a man who attempted to assault his owner as she walked along a pathway.
00:19:48
The cat was trotting behind his mistress in Bracknell, Berkshire when the attack took place.
00:19:53
Police are looking for a man with deep scratches in his face. I don't know when it's from, but isn't it amazing?
00:20:03
First of all, the cat's following the owner like a dog. Yes. Down a little. They're going on a nighttime walk. Also, my grandma used to say to Elvis when we lived with her, go to your mistress. She'd call me his mistress. I love that. Go to your mistress. Stop bugging me for chicken.
00:20:19
That's sweet. Yeah. I love it. And then it says, we don't know if the attacker was ever caught, but we hope Max's savage attack meant that someone was able to identify him.
00:20:28
This is just one of the many objects we have. And I think that the work we do is up the street of every murderino.
00:20:34
We're working to eradicate the gender gap that continues to widespread inequalities in Scotland.
00:20:39
And we provide a safe, welcoming space. We're always trying to get the word out about what we do and ignore the haters who believe our work to be unnecessary due to equality being a thing we've already achieved.
00:20:50
Where do they live? I want to go there. White man land, it sounds like. On extremely tight budgets.
00:20:56
But last September, we celebrated our 27th birthday and we built ourselves up from being a totally volunteer run place to having a staff of 21 badass women who do everything from working with adult literacy learners to commissioning artists and cataloging books with our own feminist catalog system to tweeting and Instagramming all that amazing work that they do.
00:21:15
That's me. Keep up the great work and come and visit next time you're in Glasgow.
00:21:19
Hannah. amazing yeah that sounds so cool so let me see what it's called again it's called the glasgow
00:21:24
women's library yeah but they're not just a library but they do so much more so much more
00:21:29
thanks for sending that in thank you this episode brought to you by the glasgow women's library
00:21:35
the glasgow women's library where everybody has the greatest accent you've ever heard
00:21:39
and they will go drink with you they always have new haircuts that's right we gotta give them a
00:21:43
shout out when we're in glasgow for sure so are they who's it are they you glasgow women's library
00:21:48
When I lived in Glasgow, that was my favorite thing is every woman had perfect hair that was overtly like dyed or treated in some way.
00:21:59
And there were hair salons. I'm not kidding, like three a block. Wow. There was there was so many hair salons and it made me so happy for some reason.
00:22:07
It's just like women here are just like, I'm getting my shit taken care of on the daily.
00:22:12
Yeah. Don't worry about it. Yeah. And I'll go over there if I don't get it right over here.
00:22:16
And then I'm going to go to the Glasgow Women's Library and fucking be politically active.
00:22:20
Active. And aware. That's right. I love it. Send us your stories. My favorite murder at Gmail.
00:22:26
Come and see us in Ireland and the UK. That's right. And stay sexy. And don't get murdered.
00:22:31
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That's stitchfix.com slash murder. Goodbye. If audiobooks are your thing, or if you've been meaning to listen to more of them,
00:23:53
you should check out a podcast called Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club, hosted by Cal Penn.
00:24:00
spotlight standout audiobooks on Audible across all kinds of genres, sci-fi, comedy, romance,
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thrillers, and more, with Cal talking to guests who help break down what makes each story worth
00:24:09
listening to. It's a fun, easy way to discover your next great audiobook. Check out Earsay on
00:24:14
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Goodbye!