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203 - Live at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta (2018)

January 02, 2020 /

This episode covers the story of the Barbie Bandits, Heather Johnston and Ashley Miller, who attempted to rob a bank in 2007. The hosts discuss their backgrounds, the robbery's planning, and the aftermath of their actions.

Heather Johnston and Ashley Miller, both strippers, were inspired by a conversation about robbing a bank. They executed their plan on February 27, 2007, at a Bank of America inside a Kroger grocery store. The robbery was chaotic, with the girls wearing oversized sunglasses and laughing during the heist.

After successfully stealing $11,000, they celebrated by shopping at a mall. However, their joy was short-lived as they were arrested two days later when police pulled them over and found the ransom note and drugs in their car.

The episode highlights the absurdity of their crime and the media's fascination with the case, dubbing them the Barbie Bandits. The hosts reflect on the consequences of their actions and the societal perceptions surrounding their story.

Ultimately, the episode serves as a cautionary tale about poor decision-making and the impact of drugs on judgment.

TLDR

The Barbie Bandits, Heather and Ashley, rob a bank and face absurd consequences after their crime spree.

Episode

1:35:43
00:00:00
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00:01:26
Goodbye. What's up Atlanta? What? I almost fell over. You almost ate it. That was big.
00:02:03
Wow. There it is! Fucking... This feels like a real concert, right? Very cool. You guys know we're not David Bryan, right?
00:02:20
Bryan? We're Eddie better. Wow, Atlanta, what is up? Nice to see you. So nice. We have our satanic carpet here.
00:02:42
Yes. We had some masons weave this carpet for us. Just a lot of very intense symbology, only we understand that we'll be looking at all night
00:02:52
While we worship our Lord. Guys, it's the second to last show of our fall tour. It went by so fast.
00:03:11
It went by really fast. But we're happy, excited to be here. You guys have great food.
00:03:15
Oh my God. I appreciate that. And a great hotel room. That's the only thing I've seen so far.
00:03:23
God, it's gorgeous. I did a thing I haven't done in so long on tour, which fills me with joy,
00:03:30
is that I ate something outside of the hotel room. It's always a good idea. And went to a vintage store,
00:03:35
which are like the only two things I love. Which one? Give them a plug. Shit. Oh, fuck.
00:03:42
Goodwill. Goodwill. It could have been the Goodwill. Actually, I just broke into someone's house and stole their clothes.
00:03:49
That's what I called. That was my grandmother's sweater. That's been too shopping for me.
00:03:53
I ate at Mary Mac's, though. Ooh. Holy shit. That was amazing. Now, how did you get in?
00:04:05
So I guess there's normally a long line, but we just breezed right in at like two.
00:04:09
No big deal. You're like, I'm a podcast. So you're going to want to seat us in the window, probably.
00:04:16
Well, when I put my name down to, you know, get seated, and I, then I just fucking love being here, because I'm like, look, they're like, what's your name? And I'm like, Georgia.
00:04:28
And they're like, oh, you must own the state. Come on in. Hearest to the Georgia fortune.
00:04:36
It's pretty great after like a lifetime of not having your name on any, you know, at any souvenir shops, at any bike license plate.
00:04:44
Right, never ever. There's a ghost walking with it. Yeah. Then to see your goddamn name everywhere.
00:04:52
It's just like, it's pretty great. I love it. Yeah. You should come here more often.
00:04:58
I had some names on bike plates, but all I've really ever wanted was my name in a song,
00:05:10
and I just have that one super bummer James Taylor one. Words about like, Karen, look at her back, she's leaving again.
00:05:19
What a bitch. Look at her fat back. What a bitch, she's leaving. That's what she's like.
00:05:25
Get used to it. You know that song, James Taylor. It's called Get Used to It. Yeah, we're counting on it, Karen.
00:05:32
Don't rely on her, she won't pick you up. It's Karen. Karen. Yeah, I guess I got lucky in that department.
00:05:43
You lucked out. I did. You really did. Shit, I had something I wanted to tell you, now I can't remember what it is.
00:05:49
Can I tell you that? When I ordered food today, I was like, alright, I'm gonna get the fried chicken, because I
00:05:53
fucking love fried chicken but then I was like maybe I get some healthy sides and I almost ordered healthy sides and then I did it I was like what are you doing Healthy fucking sides I know Georgia as an entire state like we don do those here
00:06:07
Yeah, then I realized you can get a side order of fried green tomatoes. Wow. Good stuff?
00:06:16
Oh, my God. Did you go right into the movie? You were like, oh, my God. Fried green tomatoes.
00:06:20
Kathy Bates, Kathy Bates. It's all around me. That's right. I did it. Such a good anecdote.
00:06:30
It's right in the front of my brain. I'll remember it later. Tell them what you're wearing.
00:06:34
Oh, yeah. Could it be that? Could it be my dress with pockets? Yeah. Look at me.
00:06:48
Look at me in my pockets, everybody. Look at me in my pockets, Georgia. I love them.
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It's the pockets revolution. Can you hold my things? Yes, I can hold every single one of your things.
00:07:00
Look how big my pockets are. Every easy and fun. I'm gone. Karen, she's a silver sun.
00:07:12
You best walk away. She stole your microphone. I know. Oh, no, don't look at it.
00:07:20
Don't look at it. Can you not do that? I did it. Good job. Thank you. Let's see your dress.
00:07:28
Oh, this old thing. It's just an old thing. Thank you. I'm just excited. Well, I'm wearing my shoes that I got married in, but...
00:07:37
Thanks. Nice. They're falling apart. Not my marriage, though. No. Not as strong as ever.
00:07:46
Yes. I am excited, though, because this dress, fine, whatever. But I've decided that the next tour I'm not wearing black dresses anymore.
00:07:54
I just can't fucking do it. Oh, my God. You heard it here first. Twitter, Instagram, let the social media world know.
00:08:02
But truly, I just can't keep buying black dresses that I'll never wear in real life
00:08:07
when I have a closet full of gorgeous vintage, like, crazy couch, your grandma's couch, dresses.
00:08:13
So is that what you're going to do? Are you going to walk us through your collection of gorgeous vintage dresses?
00:08:18
vintage dresses. I could and then I'll just start buying more too. Yay! You should do a thing that not unlike the
00:08:24
hometown murder where you wear a dress from the city that we're in that day. What if
00:08:30
girl! What if that's it? What if that's it? This becomes a shopping podcast. I'm so happy.
00:08:39
But that's, it's gonna be hard to get into because it's a podcast about us shopping. We're not gonna help you shop.
00:08:45
There won't be any interactive parts. How about at the end of the show I'll just unzip my dress and hand it to someone too?
00:08:51
First you have to go like this. Yeah. That would be actually kind of fun to do, like, um, you have to get your outfit that day.
00:09:00
That'd be great fun for me. Yeah, that'd be great fun. Well, I mean, I'm saying I would do it with you.
00:09:04
Oh, you would? Okay. But then, but then I would definitely be sarcastic when I did it.
00:09:09
Where I'd, like, show up in a Blockbuster video shirt and just be like, what, check it out, motherfuckers.
00:09:14
anti-glam blockbuster video shirt is probably vintage too yeah you gotta imagine yeah they
00:09:21
don't exist anymore no those fucking right-wing assholes they were them and dominoes get out
00:09:30
uh so that's the political part hey this is my favorite murder We're a C-Carran Kylgaren podcast.
00:09:37
Thank you. This is your new governor, Karen Kilgaren. And this is shoe superstar Georgia Hardstyle.
00:09:54
Just a little hot. Guys, we got tricked into drinking Folgers backstage and it was pretty good.
00:10:00
It was delicious. It was called some, like, It was like a bespoke name that they did,
00:10:05
like how sometimes cores will be like, no, it's really like the cores from this other area of our plant
00:10:10
that's like nice. It's for hipsters. It's nice stuff. But this was like, it was called like 1882.
00:10:16
And I was like, I love that year. Six years before Jack the Ripper. Stuff like that, really enjoying it.
00:10:24
And Vince is like, this is fucking bulgers. And we're like, oh my gosh. Oh my gosh, I love this.
00:10:30
Record a commercial. This is the best. Um, should we sit down? Yeah, let's just sit down.
00:10:37
Oh, that's fine. Thank you. This is a good chair. This is a gorgeous, well-worn chair.
00:10:44
It is. It's like someone took Grandpa's favorite scene. Whoa. There's no padding.
00:10:51
It's okay. I might fall through the bottom of this chair. It's definitely got, it's definitely missing a part.
00:11:01
We both pull out gifts. Oh my God. And then the chairs just collapsed. Oh, those gifts were holding up the chair.
00:11:09
Oh my God. I love it. Steven's not here. Oh yeah. Let him know how you feel. Let him know how mad you are at him.
00:11:17
He's going to listen to this alone in an apartment. That's right. And he needs to know that you care that he's not here.
00:11:25
They really are falling apart. Is it falling apart right now? Yeah, but I don't care.
00:11:31
If you take them off and throw them in the audience, I think people will really be excited
00:11:34
A lady with a fucking shoe heel impaled in her eye You son of a bitch, I used to like this podcast
00:11:42
Don't I have to get them framed since I got married in them or something? Yes Is that what people do with their wedding shoes, they frame them?
00:11:49
Frame them in a glass cube and put them on your desk Light it and everything Yeah halogen lamp above it Bronze them Yes bronze your own shoes Yes Like a huge sexy baby
00:12:05
My fucking mom recently gave me my baby bronze shoes, and I'm like, weren't these for you to keep?
00:12:12
Why the fuck do I have to have these in my house? I already wore those. I don't want them back.
00:12:18
What kind of narcissist has their own bronze baby shoes in the fucking house? That's why you kept dragging your finger along the counter where you put the bronze baby shoes every time I come over.
00:12:28
Just like, anyway, anything new in your life? Because there sure are two new bronze things in my life.
00:12:35
Look how tiny I once was. I was such a petite, skinny baby. Look how little I was.
00:12:42
Hardly any fat. And they couldn't find shoes to fit me because my feet were so skinny.
00:12:47
It was so sad. I had to go into fetal sizes because I was such a tiny baby. New business venture.
00:12:54
Steven, trademark that idea. We're going to make a billion dollars in Los Angeles.
00:13:00
It's like, oh, you wear kid sizes? You can't fit into fetal? Okay. Okay. Good luck with that.
00:13:08
Okay. I have a great spinning instructor if you want her name. Oh, my God. She is next level.
00:13:16
You will love it. I had a friend that wouldn't stop asking if I would go to a spinning class with her.
00:13:22
Is it me? No. It's happened more than once. It's my friend Stephanie. And finally I said, I'm going to go to the spinning class with you and I'm going to die during it just to fuck you over.
00:13:34
I'm going to have a massive coronary. I think that's a great idea. Four French fries are going to pop out of my mouth and you're going to have to clean up the body.
00:13:42
Stupid motherfucker. Leave me alone. I don't want to ride a still bike. That's the saddest thing of all time.
00:13:52
You're gonna ride it and go the fuck outside. Sorry. I don't agree with that statement.
00:13:58
But I agree with you feeling that way about it. Point counterpoint on spinning. Georgia, go for the pro side.
00:14:05
I mean, it's just sitting there spinning on a bike. I agree with you. I just, are you gonna drink water the whole time?
00:14:12
Yeah, I'm gonna angrily drink water. Roll my eyes so hard, butt drink water. Oh, you look so hydrated and angry.
00:14:22
You think I'd want to spin it off, but I don't. I want to retain, retain, retain.
00:14:29
Because you can tell that's the new thing that's coming. We've already gone through the fucking 90s Ally McBeal emaciation bullshit.
00:14:36
Big butts are now in. Big boobs are coming in. Kind of classic. I mean, big boobs have always been.
00:14:43
Big boobs is hard to shove those guys out of style. Thank God. but now I really feel like water retention in the midsection is gonna come in just waiting
00:14:55
I'm into it I am here for it as the cool kids say I'm eating Pringles for it it is this is the one thing and we've talked about this on tour before but my problem my
00:15:10
addiction is in almost every hotel room we stay in they offer when you walk in the door
00:15:16
just it's there waiting a little half can of pringles and a perfect little can just right for
00:15:23
you it's like it's just enough yeah you don't have to like you know it's not a full can and
00:15:28
you're like i know i'm gonna eat this whole thing and be bummed it's like just as much
00:15:31
it's just it's almost a third of a stack of a pipe of pringles is what the technical term is
00:15:38
pringles piping and when I meet them I call Georgia on the hotel phone and say I'm about to lay
00:15:46
some pipe I do God I wish that were true and she says don't call me at this number
00:15:57
we have so much fun this is the front desk your friend Georgia said not to give you
00:16:04
what? oh no what did you do I'm so blind It was, it's not that good actually. Sorry. I'm just so thrilled I remembered. I'm still here.
00:16:18
Last night we got in super late, but they had a 24-hour menu, so I was like, well, I'm just going to get something tasteful and feminine.
00:16:26
A pizza. So I called down, it rings 100 times. And then finally, the most harried room service worker answers the phone. He's like, yes, room 1501.
00:16:40
What can I help you with? We spoke to that person, too. He was... Very mad at us.
00:16:45
Out of his mind. Yeah, yeah. Where it's like, I understand it's busy, or, you know, it's like, it's fucking...
00:16:52
It's like 11.37 at night. How many fucking people are ordering pizza? On a Thursday.
00:16:57
What's happening in this hotel? And he, it was almost like, he goes, I go, can I just get a pizza and a Diet Coke?
00:17:05
And he goes, and a Diet Coke. And he goes, it's going to take an hour and a half.
00:17:13
Almost like he was complaining on my behalf. Like he was upset about it more. And he was the only person that could change that time or make that a different experience.
00:17:22
But he was letting me know that that sucked. And then so I go, well, like there's nothing I can do.
00:17:31
I didn't say this out loud. That'd be amazing. I'm like, well, sir, I simply don't know what to do.
00:17:36
I didn't eat dinner. We just flew in. So I'm like, okay, well, I just have to get it anyway, is what I said.
00:17:48
And then as I'm saying that sentence, he goes, no, no, I'm sorry. Chef is looking at me and telling me no pizza no pizza We out of pizza Wow And I go okay And I about to say like I pick something else And he goes no no the chef just told me there absolutely no pizza And I go I get it
00:18:07
And I just hung out. Oh. And ate Pringles? And I ate. You know what I did? I looked at that second stack of Pringles.
00:18:14
I said, hello, friend. Hello, Mr. Mustache friend. Your name is Dinner tonight. And then I just drank a container of salt.
00:18:25
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00:20:20
I believe it's you. Friends. Family. Others. Here we go. These live shows are so much fun to begin with, but it's also fun because you find these fucking stories that you're like,
00:20:32
how have I never, I never would have heard about that. Okay. There's a ghost behind you.
00:20:36
Should I check? I'm not afraid. It's really scary. Oh, hey. What's up? Oh! And we never saw her again.
00:20:47
What if Karen went missing? There she is. She died of... It was a bride. She died of violent death here at this theater.
00:20:55
Or maybe it's you in a different time. It's deep dimensional me. Do you like Pringles?
00:21:02
In this timeline? Do you like Pringles? Yes. Great. It's you. I'm sorry. So bad at improv.
00:21:09
It was a yes or no, and you got it right. I panicked. I panicked. Two choices are so many choices when you're panicking.
00:21:17
Okay, so this is the fucking banana story of the kidnapping of Barbara Mackle. Oh.
00:21:25
You don't even know about it. I'm going to tell you. Some do. One person does. Yeah.
00:21:30
All right. In 1968, here, Barbara Mackle is this lovely 20-year-old girl. She's enjoying her senior year at Emory University in Atlanta.
00:21:43
Emery. The fighting? The fighting Jaybirds. That's right. The Jaybirds. Go Emery Jaybirds.
00:21:52
Oh, they fight. They'll peck your eyes out in football. The fighting Jaybirds. Squat, squat.
00:22:00
Yeah. That's right. They just all go squat louder and louder. It's a good crescendo.
00:22:06
Until the other team leaves because they're embarrassed. This is too nerdy for us.
00:22:11
Sorry. Jaybirds aren't even that scary. Why are they swapping at us? So, it's almost...
00:22:16
Let me show you a photo of her. What happened? Uh-oh. Just a light drip. Mostly for the front row.
00:22:24
Okay. I don't know where to point this thing. It could be there, but it's not. It's usually...
00:22:31
Steven! There we go. There she is. Dude. I think I did this one on A Crime to Remember.
00:22:38
Oh, shut up. Yeah, I swear to God. I think if this is the one I remember. Okay, don't talk about it.
00:22:43
If this is the crime I remember. Maybe it's the crime to not remember. Pretty little thing.
00:22:51
Look at her. Look at her little button nose, etc., etc. There's a Christmas thing.
00:22:56
Okay. So she's not a Jew. You have to use context clues and put the mystery together yourself.
00:23:04
It's important. Pay attention. Okay, it's almost Christmas break at Emory University.
00:23:13
Or everywhere, probably. All around the world, it's Christmas break. Context clues, you know.
00:23:22
And it seems that everyone in fuck at school is getting this crazy-ass thing called the Hong Kong flu,
00:23:29
which is a, like, bananas epidemic virus-y thing that had killed over a million people.
00:23:34
Everyone's getting fucking sick as shit, right? And even though... That totally sounds like something I would make up to call in to be late for.
00:23:42
Yeah. So even though Barbara is a real estate heiress, she's not immune to this virus.
00:23:50
Can you believe it? You can have all the money in the world, you're still gonna get sick.
00:23:55
That's right. That's right. So, shut up, Rachel. Shut up, Richie Rich. So she comes down with the Hong Kong glue, but she doesn't want to go home.
00:24:07
She has her finals to take still, so even though she's sick, she is rich enough that her mother drove from their family home in Florida
00:24:14
to take care of her so she could go to things. To class? Yes. So she's rich in love?
00:24:21
Yes. Citrus Grove is where she's from, which is Richie Rich places in Florida. So I can't my mother if I was sick and had to go to class she'd be like good luck
00:24:30
I hope you do well My mom's got that like this play when chosen by proxy thing where she's like the best mom when you're sick
00:24:40
Like it's lovely if I ever I'm never sick and need her. She's fucking there for me
00:24:44
Not like as a dick like I was terrible to say she's just there because she loves me well because she has a fucking
00:24:50
Sort of. I don't know. I think you're right to be suspicious about her love. I think you're right to doubt love.
00:24:58
It's very tricky. Oh, I am so fucked up. Okay. Okay, so. She comes to Georgia to take care of her sick daughter for Christmas break.
00:25:09
They're staying a few miles from campus at the Roadway Inn in Decatur, Georgia. So gorgeous at the Roadway Inn.
00:25:18
That's where we're staying. We love it. We love it. Amazing room service. The only roadway ends.
00:25:24
The only roadway ends on this whole turn. You pull right up into our room. Sorry.
00:25:31
You sleep in the car. At around 4 a.m. on December 17th, 1968, still there, there's a knock at the door of their room,
00:25:40
and a man is dressed as a fucking cop, and he says he's a fucking cop, and he tells Barbara that her boyfriend, Stuart,
00:25:48
had been in a car accident. and to open the door and let him in. Which you would do.
00:25:53
You would do in 1968. These days we know. If you're a cop alerting me about a car accident that already happened,
00:26:00
you don't need to be in my fucking hotel room to tell me about it. Whisper it through the fucking window.
00:26:06
Call me on the phone. Why you need to be in here near me. Let me see your badge.
00:26:11
Let me see your badge is the fourth question to ask. So Barbara opens the door to the cop and she's immediately hit with the fucking truth,
00:26:26
which is the man, not shockingly, is not a cop. If he was, the story would be over.
00:26:33
But still interesting. The guy's name is, the not cop's name is Derry Crist. He's a 23-year-old from Miami who was a research assistant at SeaWorld.
00:26:46
Hold on. Real quick. Yeah. We'll get into him more. Well, I mean, like, I'm just saying he would go on Wikipedia and look up stuff about orcas.
00:26:58
No, because it's 1968. Guess what? So he'd be on that microfiche every weekend. The microfiche?
00:27:06
The microfiche about fish? Micro fish? It's in there somewhere, but it is. Boo! It's in there somewhere.
00:27:16
It's right there. It's right there. It's right there. And he isn't a cop. He had actually been stalking Barbara for months, planning her kidnapping.
00:27:26
Ooh, okay. So let's go back. In the fall, way before all this started, of 1968, this guy Gary had gone to the Miami
00:27:35
Public Library to look at names on a social register. He gave a fake name and said he was researching wealthy Floridians to learn about their work habits and personalities for a psychology dissertation.
00:27:49
That's not true. No, it is not. It's a terribly concocted lie about the rich. That's right.
00:27:55
But back then, they were like, great, we'll give you their social security numbers and you can have everything, anything you want about them.
00:28:00
Home address, P.O. box, parents' names. Exactly. He was actually planning, in reality, Gary's planning one of the most elaborate kidnapping plots in FBI history.
00:28:10
Shit. So this dude, Gary, had escaped. He was like a convict. He had escaped from prison and on the run.
00:28:20
But he was a really smart dude, so he got a fake name and was working at a college as a research person.
00:28:28
Or SeaWorld. It depends on what Wikipedia you ask. It depends on what paragraph you're looking at.
00:28:33
That's when he found, when he was doing all this research, what he was really looking for was to get that victim.
00:28:37
He found this guy, Robert Mackle, who was a wealthy real estate developer with ties to President Nixon.
00:28:43
And what Chris was looking for was a daughter who was a rich, tough-minded female.
00:28:48
That's what he was specifically looking for, because he wanted to find someone who could stand up to the trauma of being kidnapped
00:28:54
and his crazy kidnapping plan. Sorry. So he was kind of casting his victim. He was.
00:29:00
And he didn't want to feel bad when it was over. So he was like, I need a sturdy lady that can handle being pulled out of her roadway motor lodge at 3 a.m.
00:29:10
He's like, I need someone who is, he doesn't want to, he wouldn't do a child. He has, I guess, scruples.
00:29:16
I don't know. He wouldn't do a whale because he loves fish and mammals. He wanted, you know, he tried to find this, like, was he casting a fucking kidnapping victim?
00:29:27
someone who could like deal with the ordeal of being kidnapped. Well, I mean, it's partially considerate.
00:29:32
Yeah, I guess. Thanks. Half thanks, Gary. I'm sure when Barbara found out, she was like, thank you.
00:29:39
I guess. I guess it's a compliment. I guess. And he found Barbara Mackle. She was the 20-year-old daughter, and he thought she was the perfect victim.
00:29:48
So let's see. The Mackle family they were this crazy land developer people in Florida They changed landscape and demographics of Florida with their company General Development Corp largest land development company in Florida blah blah blah who cares I care
00:30:05
Okay. They turned thousands of square miles of swampland and thick woodland into residential communities for the middle class.
00:30:12
Oh, thank God the middle class has somewhere to live. Pay right over it and put in a parking lot.
00:30:20
And they also developed Marco Island and Port St. Lucie. Good shit. You have these guys to thank for your place.
00:30:29
How about you write the Mackles a letter for once? Maybe this Christmas break. You can write them a nice note.
00:30:36
Okay, so back to the roadway in at 4 a.m. when Barbara opened the door. So Gary Christ and his accomplice,
00:30:44
who is a 26-year-old female named Ruth Eisman Shearer, she's disguised as a man.
00:30:50
They break the fuck in. They rush inside. and they chloroform Barbara's mom and tie her up
00:30:57
and then they force Barbara at gunpoint in the back of their waiting car. Can I just tell a quick story
00:31:03
that I don't know as a fact about that woman? The accomplice? Is this the story you did for her?
00:31:09
No, it's not the truth. This is just what I made up in my mind when I heard this part of the story.
00:31:16
Absolutely. It's all bullshit. Mostly bullshit. Um, they worked together at SeaWorld?
00:31:25
Or they met in college? So, he escapes prison, right? And she meets him in college.
00:31:32
I think he's, like, working for one of the teachers. He's super smart. And she's like, this guy's hot.
00:31:37
I might have a photo of him, but I'm scared it's going to... What photo did I put up?
00:31:40
Roll those dice. There he is. Ah! Well, hello. Yeah. He's like a Jason Manzoukas kind of...
00:31:52
If Jason Manzoukas was trying to hypnotize you from across a party after he got a nice haircut.
00:32:00
Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. If that guy was like, hey, do you want to go down to the coffee machine with me?
00:32:11
I'd be like, sir, no, absolutely not. Go back into your office. He looks crazy. But this girl met him and then found out about his escaping prison.
00:32:20
and I guess that dick must have been great because she was like, let's do it. She's like, you know what?
00:32:25
It adds. It doesn't take away. So she was like, not only am I okay with this, I am going to help you.
00:32:33
I'll accomplish the shit out of you. I just imagine that her glasses are so thick
00:32:39
that her eyes are five times bigger than they actually are in real life. I think we have a photo of her.
00:32:44
Oh, please. Okay. Look at her. She's like, yeah, that face, yeah. She's like, still waters, bitches.
00:32:51
We don't all have to be blondes. That dick. I got that breakout dick. I got that orca dick.
00:33:05
Holy shit. Is it the end of this tour or what? I'm out of my mind. It fucking is.
00:33:13
Because she was looking at her eyes. All right. She keeps her hair short because she doesn't have time.
00:33:18
She's getting so much dick. You know what I mean? You gotta go. Three brushes and you're out.
00:33:29
Oh, what am I doing? Oh, this is a job. This is our job. We get paid the best thing ever.
00:33:36
You pay up. It's into me. To talk shit to you. Truly in all my life. A true dream come true.
00:33:43
I could never have imagined. I'm gonna start crying. Do it! Hey! How about in the television made-for-TV movie from 1990 called 83 Hours Tell Dawn?
00:33:54
That'll make sense more later. That's an exciting title. Gary, Dead Eyes Gary Crist is played by Peter Strauss.
00:34:04
Peter Strauss from? From, of course. How do you even know? I didn't even know who he's from because I figured you'd always know this shit.
00:34:11
I mean, all I can think of is the guy from Airplane that goes... Never see a grown man again.
00:34:17
He knows. Sorry. Go ahead. He's from Six Feet Under? Oh. Can someone look it up on a computer, please?
00:34:29
Steven. A desktop, not a phone. Everyone, pull out your laptops. A desktop? A desktop only.
00:34:36
Yeah. Only a desktop. Is that Peter Strauss? Strauss. Oh, it's his father. Jerry.
00:34:46
And Barbara is played by Samantha Mathis. Oh, yes. She's usually a blonde. And she's from Arkansas.
00:34:57
I don't know. Samantha Mathis was in a bunch of 90s movies. She was like a teen.
00:35:01
Super Mario Brothers. Super Mario Brothers? Fuck off. She was. What did she say?
00:35:08
Our food critic right here. I mean food critic. Movie critic. TV critic. We believe you.
00:35:14
I believe you. I don't think any of this is real. Okay. All right. Who cares? Okay.
00:35:20
So, anyways, they chloroform the mom. They kidnap Barbara in the car, and they drive her about 20 miles away to a remote pines
00:35:30
grove in Gwinnett County near Duluth. Such a powerful county where all the pines are filled with pines.
00:35:45
And then they, okay, this gets, okay, ready for the bananas parts of this? They get to a spot.
00:35:54
They tell her to climb into a trench that they had dug for her And I would be like no I will not do that Shoot me in the face asshole That what I say And
00:36:05
You might as well. No, don't do that. Oh, don't do that. Don't do that. We've decided for you to not do that.
00:36:13
Okay, but here's the thing. Let's not, let's don't forget. This poor fucking girl has the goddamn Hong Kong fucking.
00:36:19
Oh, that's right. So bad that her mommy is taking care of her and she's 20. Like, that's hardcore.
00:36:25
So she's just like, are you fucking kidding me? I can't even eat a saltine. And you're getting me into a fucking...
00:36:31
She's like, can I bring a hot water bottle down there with me? Because I'm already very uncomfortable.
00:36:37
And rich. So at the bottom of this trench is a strategically engineered fiberglass box that they had made.
00:36:45
It had a pump and two plastic pipes that gave Barbara air from the outside. and they had left food, water that was laced with sedatives,
00:36:55
and a battery-powered lamp to keep her company, and then they buried her fucking alive in the spot.
00:37:03
Spoiler alert, she survives. That's why the movie's called 83 Hours. I don't want you guys to get scared.
00:37:11
That's why the movie's called 83 Hours Till Dawn. It's because she fucking hung out down there for 83 hours.
00:37:16
83 hours is like almost two days. What's that in 2018 years? In 2018 years? Yeah.
00:37:26
That's 15 years. That's right. The only cool thing about, first of all, I'm picturing those two lunatics making their own fiberglass box.
00:37:37
I think that, I don't, okay, well, yeah, we talked more about that. Constructed, right?
00:37:41
Yeah, we'll talk more about that. But then also, who of them put sedatives in the food?
00:37:45
Because that's, you're buried alive. Night-night. Come on. I want to go night-night.
00:37:49
Please. Yeah. Or just a ball-peen hammer I can hit in my own head. Yeah. It's fucking crazy.
00:37:57
That's why, because I remember when he was like, I want to find someone who's not going to go crazy when I kidnap them.
00:38:02
This is why. Because he's like, I need someone who's going to fucking not lose their goddamn mind.
00:38:06
Gary, if you're going to do something where you have to pick an incredibly strong individual
00:38:13
because you're going to bury them alive, You sidestep that part and then go straight to what you're doing and give that more of a think.
00:38:26
Yeah, never in there is there a, what the fuck am I doing? I mean, is it the strength of the woman that needs to be worried about or my mind?
00:38:36
Okay, so then Gary takes a photograph of Barbara lying down in the trench while she holds up a handwritten sign that says kidnapped
00:38:44
to be used for the ransom note. Y'all want to see it? Yes. Okay, I have to warn you.
00:38:52
It kind of looks like she's smiling, but she's actually fucking, they had already sedated the shit out of her,
00:38:56
so she's not smiling. But are you ready for your nightmare? So just, she can't control her lip muscles anymore,
00:39:02
and they're just falling back. They're like, you guys, this is, how have I not heard of this?
00:39:10
Am I wrong to say that it looks like me a little bit? Oh, I did. Your nose, yeah.
00:39:16
And I would be like, yes, keep them sedatives coming. More pills. How scary. It's too close also.
00:39:24
It's terrifying. Okay, so then what happens is they shovel two feet of mud on top of the box,
00:39:32
and she would remain there for three days, a.k.a. 83 hours. I said 83 hours. 83 hours.
00:39:40
In her book that she later writes about it, Don called it 83 hours till Don. Barbara recalls the experience.
00:39:46
She said, quote, I screamed and screamed. The sound of the dirt got farther and farther away.
00:39:50
Finally, I couldn't hear anything above. I screamed for a long time after that. No.
00:39:55
So Gary and Ruthie. I wish she had done yoga or something. She probably did after.
00:40:04
Yeah, I bet after she was great at it. Yeah. So Gary and Ruth are kidnappers. They contact Robert, Barbara's dad,
00:40:10
and demand a ransom of $500,000. And I do have the equivalent of today. It's $3.5 million.
00:40:16
Oh, shit. That's a lot of money. In exchange for Barbara's safe return and Robert...
00:40:22
Robert Lackle's played by Robert... Did I already say that? Robert Ulrich? No. That's who he's played by.
00:40:28
We don't know who anyone is anymore, so it's okay. Is that Skeet Ulrich's dad? Yes.
00:40:32
Okay. In the note, the kidnappers specify that the ransom is to be put in a suitcase
00:40:38
and that Robert had to make a drop in the woods alone. And because of Robert's connections with the president,
00:40:44
the FBI director, J. Edgar Hoover, dispatches the man who investigated both Kennedy assassinations
00:40:49
to oversee the case. Which I'm like, he didn't solve the first one, so how the fuck are you going to...
00:40:54
Right? Finish your other fucking job. Five shooters on the hill. That's right. And maybe the second one, according to some people.
00:41:05
I would have met Hoover calls that guy. And he's like, I'm going to send down the guy that investigated.
00:41:10
And they're like, oh, thanks. Did you not? Okay. Appreciate it. Well, Barbara's never going to be found.
00:41:17
Okay. So, Robert is fucking determined to get his daughter back, of course. He gets all the money together, puts it inside his suitcase,
00:41:24
and he goes to bring it to a bridge that's near my... He goes to bring it to the drop point.
00:41:31
Great. But it doesn't go smoothly, because Robert gets fucking lost looking for the drop-off point.
00:41:36
Oh, Dad. Dad's losing his shit. No, no, no, I don't need the map. I know, it's around here somewhere.
00:41:44
This looks really... It's fine. I got it. And meanwhile, Gary is hunkered down with binoculars
00:41:50
like, where the fuck are they? This is crazy. It's kind of a big deal. It kind of a big deal This is the moment And finally he finds the drop spot And unfortunately the FBI who waiting for this shit to happen didn tell the local cops what was going on
00:42:07
So the drop spot is right next to where the local cops like to hang out and have their lunch in their car.
00:42:13
So there's two fucking cops sitting in a car right by the drop point. I said no cops.
00:42:21
Right. I didn't invite them. And they're like, we don't know what's going on. Everybody loves this bridge.
00:42:26
That's right. Gary grabs the money and he's coming down. He is hanging out with a suitcase full of money, a rifle, and scuba gear when he happens upon these two fucking cops.
00:42:42
And that look on his face. So he's like, what? Nothing. I love scuba. I love water.
00:42:49
Fucking capers. He fucking starts to run. The cops open fire, he gets away, and he had to fucking jump over a fence and he injures his groin pretty bad.
00:43:04
So they're rude. Yeah, no, it's great. 83 hours to sunset or whatever that is. It was a comedy.
00:43:11
It was like a, it was a parsicle physical comedy. Not for Barbara, who's still fucking in that goddamn box.
00:43:18
That poor baby. And then she goes, oh, a lamp. Click. God, this food is good. It's just relaxing.
00:43:27
Okay. So then the FBI probably kicks the cops in the dicks and is like, what the fuck did you do?
00:43:35
But after that, they find Gary's abandoned car. And inside the car, they find photographs of Gary and Ruth.
00:43:43
Some of them are nakey photos. Just around the car. They're like, Bullards are in the car.
00:43:50
Gary. Gary. They take Bullards and then just throw them over their shoulder. They're just like, the 60s.
00:43:55
Apparently there's one photo where he's got the cop hat that he used to get into the house,
00:44:01
and it's over his D. Maybe. That might not be true. Who wants some Miranda rights?
00:44:10
Oh, did you make it up? I didn't make that up, but I saw that somewhere. Jesus Christ.
00:44:16
And then they find that the car is registered to a person in the name of George Deacon.
00:44:20
So the second ransom drop is successful. And so Gary had to leave that money behind when he ran from the cops, but he does get this money.
00:44:28
And the FBI, at that point, traces this guy, George Deacon, to the University of Miami,
00:44:33
where they realized that he had built ventilated boxes for a living. Maybe for Star Wars? No. SeaWorld.
00:44:43
Same death, same death. So maybe that's what it is. All the same characters. I think that he must have made, what are they called? Aquariums.
00:44:50
Sure. That's our new theme of our podcast. Right. And so that's how he made the box to put her in.
00:44:55
Right. So he made those for a living. He was like, picture if we had a dolphin. But she was a lady.
00:45:03
She didn't need water. And then, so George Deacon, it turns out, is our friend Gary.
00:45:10
So it's one and the same. Sorry, I forgot to tell you that. So it doesn't definitely find out.
00:45:14
Deacon's boss at this coffin building company is like, oh, and he hangs out with this chick,
00:45:21
Ruth, who has just like these eyes that isn't, you know. Look at him make that box.
00:45:28
So then the FBI contacts, oh, okay. Then the FBI is contacted by a local man in Georgia claiming he had just bought a small
00:45:35
trailer from a man and found some weird paperwork inside. They discovered. Was it sex paperwork?
00:45:40
It wasn't. That's when they realized that George and Gary are the same person and that George is
00:45:46
an escapee from California prison since 1966, blah, blah, blah. They realize it's the same guy.
00:45:52
That was okay. Then, on December 20th, Gary calls and gave a switchboard operator, calls the, you know, zero.
00:46:00
I don't know. It's a thing you could do back then. Yeah, but it's more like, it's around.
00:46:07
It took four minutes. He gives the FBI vague directions to where Barbara is buried.
00:46:13
He, and then over 100 FBI agents then spread out in the area, and they eventually, they're yelling her name
00:46:19
and they can fucking hear knocking. And that's how they find her. In a forest? Uh-huh.
00:46:25
Nighttime? Night, no, but let's pretend it is. Yeah. So after being underground for 83 fucking hours,
00:46:31
Barbara's burial site was located by searchers. They dug up the box and Barbara emerged
00:46:36
slightly dehydrated but otherwise unharmed. Because she's strong. Probably needing a nap.
00:46:45
What a nightmare. I bet you whatever FBI agent lifted her up out of that fucking fiberglass box, she's like, marry me right now.
00:46:54
I propose to you whatever your name or face is. That's right. So Gary's captured and ironically captured at a place in Florida called Port Charlotte, which is ironically a mathel development.
00:47:10
She gets gone on one of their, like, islands. his accomplice he scuba'd out to the island
00:47:16
and then got caught there Ruth is the first woman to be named to FBI's 10 most wanted list
00:47:22
good for her she's eventually she's eventually caught in Texas she's sentenced to 7 years in prison
00:47:30
before being paroled she's deported back to her native Honduras she's now a grandma
00:47:36
and has a Facebook account and I think you can find her for real She's like, oh, the 60s.
00:47:43
Anyway. And there's also the 70s. Oh, the 60s, right? Grandma, tell us a story about when you were younger.
00:47:51
What's America like? She's like, why don't we focus on the now? Two months after his capture, Gary's tried it in Georgia, where
00:48:00
He faces the death penalty, but the jurors acknowledge that he tried to keep his victims alive
00:48:06
and fulfilled his promise to reveal where she was buried. So they were like, you clown, it's okay.
00:48:12
So he got life, but he only served 10 years. Shit. And he's released some parole.
00:48:20
He wrote a book himself called The Man Life, The Man Who Kidnapped Barbara Jane Mackle.
00:48:26
And then he was like, it was me. It just says, it was me. I did it. And then that's pictures on the cover.
00:48:33
He's like, it's me. Me and my beard. We got this idea. But he also wrote a letter to Barbara apologizing, apparently,
00:48:42
which is like, you can apologize by getting in a pit for three fucking days. So after his release, he's allowed to attend medical school in Granada.
00:48:55
He earns a medical degree. In 2001, he's approved by the Indiana Medical Licensing Board.
00:49:02
And it turns out he's Dr. Death. It all comes together full podcast circle. That's right.
00:49:13
He worked as a physician in Indiana until 2003 because of some disciplinary action he received.
00:49:20
Not because he's a fucking kidnapper. He kept sticking his whole arm in the aquarium.
00:49:26
And they're just like, Dr. Heist, we can't have you. Dr. Heist. What's his name?
00:49:33
I don't know, but it's Dr. Heist. It's Dr. Heist. You are your crime. Your name is your crime.
00:49:39
Yeah. He gets arrested again in 2006 for some cocaine shit. He goes to prison again.
00:49:45
He goes back and forth to prison. He's a lover of life. The only thing that I can tell you now is he lives in rural Georgia today.
00:49:53
You guys. And here he is tonight. Doctor, hi! Get out here, you son of a bitch. We put him in a box for the rest of the show.
00:50:05
Oh, my God. Shit. But as for Barbara Backel, remember the guy that he knocked on the door and was like,
00:50:14
your boyfriend's been in an accident. She ends up marrying that dude, Stuart Woodward.
00:50:19
And how did he fare in that accident? Karen, there was no answer. There was no answer.
00:50:26
She, Barbara wrote the book in 1971 with the late Miami Herald reporter and Pulitzer Prize winner, Jean Miller, 83 Hours Till Dawn, which was made into a TV movie, blah, blah, blah.
00:50:37
Barbara and Stuart had two children and they were married for 43 years until Woodward's death in 2013.
00:50:43
Wow. Not Barbara. Barbara's still alive. Barbara. Barbara. Barbara, fucking badass Barbara, has never spoken publicly about her ordeal since the publication of her book.
00:50:54
When she was asked, let's see, I think we have a photo. Oh, that's the ditch. Oh, yay.
00:51:00
I know. And then, here's her. She said, when asked how she endured the harrowing experience, she claimed she knew she wouldn't die in the box,
00:51:11
and she imagined spending Christmas with her family, and that's how she survives.
00:51:15
how she survived it. And that's the fucking insane kidnapping of Barbara Mackel. Amazing.
00:51:26
Thank God it ended so nicely. And she spent Christmas with her parents. The only creepy
00:51:31
thing is she doesn't have a brother. Look at his face. He just followed her for the rest of her life
00:51:40
after that 83 hours. Holding a fucking Christmas thing above her head. And she's like, why are you the thing that's haunting me?
00:51:45
I don't know if that's her brother or her boyfriend or what. If it's the boyfriend, that's bad news.
00:51:50
Because he's holding mistletoe over her dad's head. She's like, Barbara, we don't know why you're dating this basketball player, but we think he likes your dad.
00:52:05
Oh, my God. Bananas. Amazing. That was great. Thank you. It's so funny because I did that story on that show, but I don't remember anything.
00:52:21
While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent.
00:52:27
The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14. Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense, rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust.
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Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation, and Hyundai doesn't either. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach.
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Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle. Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability.
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And Hyundai continues doing it every day. From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game,
00:52:57
the future isn't some far-off concept. It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA.
00:53:04
Goodbye. If you're always on the lookout for a great audiobook or just want help figuring out what to listen to next,
00:53:10
there's a podcast you should know about. It's called Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club, hosted by Cal Penn.
00:53:16
Each episode takes a closer look at some of the most talked about new audiobooks on Audible,
00:53:21
spanning a wide range of genres from sci-fi and literary fiction to rom-coms, thrillers, and comedy.
00:53:26
Cal is joined by guests who dig into what these stories are about, what makes them stand out as audiobooks, and why they're connecting with listeners right now.
00:53:33
If you're looking for your next listen, this is a great place to start. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club, on the iHeartRadio app,
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00:54:05
All right. So I also wanted to do something a little different. And I had never heard of this.
00:54:10
It's true crime. It isn't murder. It's the story of the Barbie bandits. Oh, you don't know the story of the 2007 Barbie bandits, Heather Johnston and Ashley Miller?
00:54:21
I don't. Okay. we're about to you know what scared me just now there's something on this document
00:54:30
that is uh oh oh no is it the wrong document we'll see most of the information I got
00:54:39
from this was from a terrible fucking ID show called pretty bad women oh cause they're pretty and they're bad
00:54:48
oh ID you can do better than that Which reminds me of every comedy show in Los Angeles in the 90s when I first moved there.
00:54:58
It was all pretty funny women. I actually got booked on a show at the comedy store called Pretty Funny Women.
00:55:04
And when I showed up, the woman who booked it, it was her show, she goes, this is so great because you're pretty and funny.
00:55:11
And I was just like, I have to go. I couldn't find a parking spot. So I'm going to bail on this show and all of comedy.
00:55:18
All right. So let's see. We'll start with Heather Johnston. So she was actually the focus of an episode of Prime Time, which you can watch on YouTube.
00:55:29
That's pretty hilarious. Throughout this story, the parents and the teachers and different people,
00:55:36
they constantly talk about that these two girls fell in with a bad crowd. I'm here to tell you these two girls are a bad crowd.
00:55:43
They are the deaf, the niche. Own it. Go for it. And they really do. So Heather Johnston is a suburban teenager.
00:55:53
She's got everything going for her. She's a good student. She's a promising tennis player.
00:55:58
She dreams of someday being a swimsuit model. Dare to dream, Heather. So do all of us.
00:56:04
I mean, wouldn't it be the best if you could just stand around in a swimsuit no matter the weather with a bunch of strangers taking your picture?
00:56:12
Critiquing you and telling you you're fat, even though you've been starving for 17 years.
00:56:18
But in her junior year of high school, she begins to rebel. She starts dating a guy her parents don't approve of.
00:56:27
They say you have to stop dating him. She says, fuck you, or something like that.
00:56:31
No one in the history of you have to stop dating him has ever stopped dating him.
00:56:34
No. It's the best when your parents are like, we don't like him. You're like, yes, I'm going to date that shit out of him.
00:56:40
It's all I'm looking for in a man is someone my parents hate. Yeah, parents, I think now parents these days have learned that lesson where they're like,
00:56:49
oh, we're not going to tell you we hate him and you can't stop seeing him. We're going to just get up into your life.
00:56:54
Yeah. No, we love his face tattoo. It's great. Make sure he comes to every dinner we have.
00:56:59
Yeah. Okay. So she moves out of the house because her parents are like, you have to stop dating him.
00:57:05
She's like, that again, drives away. And of course drives back three months later.
00:57:09
Like, he's the worst. and they're like, come back and play tennis with us. So you guys do her senior year of high school.
00:57:16
She gets a college scholarship. It seems like everything is on course. And then her mom in this primetime special says,
00:57:25
we went to the college orientation, but she seemed distracted, and that's when I knew something was wrong.
00:57:31
So let's take a look at Heather's senior portrait. Stone to the bone. And if there's, right?
00:57:38
So stone. You can't have smaller eyebrows. That means... What hair is this? This is 2005.
00:57:49
Okay. That sounds about right. The eyebrows. Ball chain necklace. You should kind of see it.
00:57:55
Right. I had one of those on in my senior picture. I had one that was a choker and it just looked simple.
00:58:00
It looked like a bulldog. It was terrible. Just like, take that thing off. But Heather makes it work.
00:58:07
Uh-huh. The only thing is just you if you wonder whether or not your child is on meth
00:58:13
If they have eyebrows like that, they do they're on meth Yeah, if you can't leave your eyebrows alone, it's because something is telling you to keep plucking keep plucking
00:58:22
Keep four more hairs. Yeah, you're almost perfect. I'll be perfect. Keep going And I know because
00:58:30
I don't just talk shit Oh my god. I'm not just going to talk shit on Heather and not show my receipts.
00:58:45
Sure. That's how I know. I love that Stephen just called it 90s Karen. 90s Karen.
00:58:53
That is glorious. I mean, I haven't slept in seven weeks in this picture. So much speed coursing through my veins.
00:59:02
Oh, I love it. And that's just, I'm on medical grade fucking speed, and that's as thin as I got.
00:59:09
Most people, I was supposed to be Ally McBealing, and I was like, sorry, nothing else goes away.
00:59:16
These, everything else is staying right where it is. My apologies. Oh my god. My apologies, Hollywood.
00:59:23
But I can get these eyebrows a little smaller. You know what can get skinnier? My eyebrows.
00:59:28
My eyebrows. All right, so. I thought you might put one up of me. of you just doing a huge fine.
00:59:35
I didn't even know that existed. Don't do drugs. Don't do drugs. For real. I mean, at least not meth.
00:59:41
We'll just tell you about fun things we did. Yeah. Don't do white drugs. Just specifying.
00:59:48
Yeah. We trust you with everything else, but fuck. We step into that white drug world.
00:59:54
You going to end up a Barbie bandit Ready Okay So she tells the interviewer on primetime time and this girl is like the girl that did it Heather she says she just wanted to do something
01:00:07
crazy which is just like you mean like tons of drugs so she gets a job at a strip club called Shooter's Alley which I'm sure you've all been to and enjoy so
01:00:19
After party at Shooter's Alley. Shooter's Alley. Where all your dreams of romance come true.
01:00:26
That sounds like a sexual in you. I know that I don't understand and don't want to understand.
01:00:30
Well, yeah, I know. I think it's right there, you know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:00:36
No. Shooter's Alley. No. Got it. Okay. It's called a metaphor in literature. So.
01:00:47
Okay. She also told the host that she always loved dancing. I love dancing. Don't we all?
01:00:53
Yeah. So now she's making that sweet, sweet stripper money. They save between $300 and $500 a night.
01:01:00
That's good shit. She's 19 years old. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And as Missy Elliott says, ain't no shame.
01:01:08
Baby, do your thing. Just make sure you're ahead of the game. That's right. That's the key.
01:01:14
No judgments. No job judgments. You get that fucking money however you want. But then you don't let people tell you what to do.
01:01:21
That's what's important. You get a savings account. Let us tell you what to do. Put that money in a savings account.
01:01:27
Pay taxes on it. IRA for Christ fucking sake. I'll just put you on the phone with my dad.
01:01:33
He'll tell you all about it. Retirement's important because... You're going to want to strip forever.
01:01:40
Karen. There's a high rate of burnout. You're going to get tired of that poll. you're going to want to go into modern dance or square dancing.
01:01:50
Tap dancing. There's always tap, especially when you're older. That's right. Okay, so then she finally breaks it to her parents that she's stripping,
01:02:00
which I'm sure was a calm conversation over a warm mug of herbal tea. They kick her out of the house, of course.
01:02:08
So that's when she moves in with her co-worker and best friend, Ashley Miller. Okay, who's also a stripper at Shooter's Alley.
01:02:18
Ashley was described by her high school teachers as being quirky, fun, and... Oh, fun-loving.
01:02:25
And, which is the same as fun. Although it's more about her. She was a cheerleader and she volunteered at a local nursing home.
01:02:34
Oh, here's her... This is her senior portrait. Damn, she's tan. A good friend would bail you out of jail.
01:02:42
A best friend would be sitting right next to you saying, man, we messed up. Oh, no.
01:02:47
Yeah. This is what we call foreshadowing in the screenwriting community. She was planning on going to jail with her friend for years before it happened.
01:02:59
Also, that's an unaccredited Jeff Foxworthy quote. Are you serious? Which is, there's a lot of feelings around that.
01:03:07
She didn't credit anyone for that quote? Isn't that bullshit? She made her friends think that she had a Jeff Bugsworthy thought.
01:03:14
She must be a redneck. All right. So. Thank you so much. Under that, it says, plans to major in business administration at Gainesville College.
01:03:30
Right? The fighting. Orwellians. Orwellians? The fighting Orwellians. Yep. They're such a menacing, creepy crowd.
01:03:46
Or the Orwellians. They just creep you out, so you just give up the game. You forfeit the game.
01:03:51
These guys are creepy. I don't want to fight against a talking pig and then the other guy.
01:03:55
Yeah. God, this looks like the future looks bleak here. I don't want to win. Not nice.
01:04:01
I don't know why. I don't even. This is such a hard game we started. It's a tough game.
01:04:06
You know why? Because you don't want to be too creative. You don't want to be under-creative.
01:04:10
It's hard to hit it. I think Orwellians was beautiful. Thank you. You're welcome.
01:04:17
It turns out that Heather and Ashley take over Shooter's Alley. They take over the school.
01:04:24
Okay. They take their high school asses into Shooter's Alley, and everyone's like, oh my God, Christmas has come early.
01:04:32
Because it turns out that Ashley, after high school, had gotten a job at... They won't say it in this Pretty Bad Girls show.
01:04:41
They won't say it, but she worked at Hooters. They describe Hooters in all these different ways where it's like,
01:04:48
she already worked at a place where she showed a lot of body for tips or whatever.
01:04:53
And she had thick tights on over her, orange shorts. The thickest suntan nylon she could find at the store, and then white high-top shoes.
01:05:03
not sexy yet everyone still had a boner as she's working at hooters or some such place
01:05:13
maybe an unfranchised right mom and pop style sex waitress restaurant that's where you want it near your wings
01:05:27
yeah oh god so she's working there and doing the fucking hard job of being waitress while at the
01:05:38
same time being like take a fucking gander now tit me yeah and she thinks to herself i could be
01:05:45
making way more money just take my shirt off yeah well at a strip club not there and she's like who
01:05:51
got the zucchini circles. Weird, flat, unexciting boobs But still the shorts None of this is written on this music paper Oh you didn you didn I didn play on the zucchini circles joke
01:06:08
It sounded so, like, written. So she nopes out of Hooters, goes to the fucking Shooter's Alley where all your dreams come true,
01:06:18
meets her friend, Heather, they're like, this is the best, let's move in together,
01:06:24
They get an apartment. They're making they're getting all their singles put them in piles at the end of the night
01:06:30
Again drugs hairspray and drugs and of course tweezers everywhere Okay, I have to pull some screenshots
01:06:41
I'm in Steven's life hell because We try we're supposed to get him all the pictures we want to use in like the afternoon
01:06:47
so he can put these nice mortises on everything and make sure that basically only the first 300 people
01:06:53
can read the little things that he writes there. And everyone else is like, we don't even know what's fucking going on.
01:06:58
Also, he puts that newspaper mortise, but the picture could be twice as big. And instead he's like, but look at my design.
01:07:06
Love it. God bless him. God bless Stephen. Absolutely. I bless Stephen by criticizing him very thoroughly.
01:07:20
Anyhow, so in this Pretty Bad Girls reenactment, they show the girls this is them working at the strip club together.
01:07:30
It's everybody's dream come true. One's tall, one's short. They're both blonde. They're both down.
01:07:37
It's super exciting. I think they said that Ashley would wear her cheerleading. She did a cheerleading theme.
01:07:43
Of course. Because that was her background. Sure. People love that. Go with it. Go with what works.
01:07:47
Right? People love cheerleading. They then cut from here, and it's just these two girls, these poor actresses,
01:07:54
who are like, I got a part, and they're like, there's no lines. They're kind of fake stripping in this reenactment,
01:08:01
and then they cut to the guys in the audience. What if you had to be the extra? Look creepier.
01:08:08
Look creepier. This is like fucking a scene from Sling Blade got cut into pretty bad girls or whatever.
01:08:17
Guys, this is what your first ten years in Hollywood is like. It's all this. You have to be an extra.
01:08:23
Sorry, you just look like a creepy dude that would be in a strip club. What about this guy?
01:08:27
Oh no! Oh no, tits! Typecast. Oh my god! I don't know if I'm more scared of this beer or this stripper.
01:08:36
Oh god. Mom, I got a part! In a TV show. Okay. Alright. scared okay this is my favorite part at one part i'm watching this and i keep rewinding to get this
01:08:50
piece of information it was like whatever the date or time was or some stupid shit that i of
01:08:55
course didn't include in it and this is my favorite part of this reenactment is she's stripping and
01:09:00
her bra tag is hanging out i don't think someone could run in there and fix that there's no costume
01:09:08
department on this shoot it was like b-y-o-b-r-a you're on your own none of those extras were
01:09:17
gonna be like hey put your tag in let's see your fucking 30 double a cup check sticking out
01:09:24
isn't that fucking depressing yeah it's really depressing i watched it like this and then
01:09:30
every all the tv producer in me is just like i immediately am in the meeting with the costume
01:09:34
department where I'm like, look, this is a visual medium. I'm not trying to be a perfectionist.
01:09:38
We're trying to tell a story. Basic stuff, people. Keep them in the story. It's just, I'm asking you to watch
01:09:44
the monitor. That's what I was doing at 5.30 today is I'm trying to fucking put this story together.
01:09:51
Okay. So they, in the midst of all of this, they are hanging out one night and Ashley starts dating a
01:10:00
regular who's also an ex-con. Great idea. Right? Perfect. It's like she's shitting where she eats in the almost most literal sense of the term.
01:10:14
And the way they keep telling the story, first person and second person, is that one night they're all joking about robbing a bank,
01:10:22
and then the boyfriend goes, yeah, we can rob a bank. And basically is like, I'm going to make your dreams come true, bitches.
01:10:29
Oh, I don't like that. So they, right? Yeah. Yeah, it's very undercutting and disrespectful.
01:10:35
It is. So Heather and Ashley both think they're all joking. Right. And that it was just something to talk about while they snorted their 100th line of cocaine.
01:10:48
But it turned out Ashley's boyfriend's serious and he calls the next day. The more cocaine you do, I feel like the more robbing a bank sounds like a great idea.
01:10:56
Yes. Robbing a bank, starting a record label. food truck stuff comes up a lot. Right.
01:11:04
Maybe doing a choreographed strip dance. Are you trying to get me to tell my cocaine story
01:11:10
of the choreographed strip dance? Oh, wait. We didn't strip. We didn't strip, but we did at my friend's birthday party.
01:11:21
We all wore plaid skirts, black shirts, black tights. My friend Dave wore plaid pajama bottoms
01:11:27
and a black turtleneck. And then in the middle of the party, like right when it was like getting exciting, we made everyone back up and we did a fully choreographed and rehearsed routine to whip it.
01:11:41
Can we get a photo? I wish. If there was, it would just be me with just tons of cocaine pouring out of my nose.
01:11:50
The fact that I'm not dead is proof that Jesus is real. I'm not kidding. Okay. Okay.
01:11:58
So, okay. They, They're joking cocaine style about robbing a bank. Yeah. The boyfriend's absolutely serious.
01:12:04
He calls them the next morning and gives them very specific instructions of the bank they need to go to,
01:12:10
what they need to write on the ransom note, the whole fucking thing. Is it a ransom note when you're robbing a bank?
01:12:15
The take charge man. That's right. You know? It's nice when like he orders for you and like when he picks the place that you should go on the date
01:12:22
and when he plans the bank robbery that he makes you do for him. Okay, so they get into, so on February 27th, 2007, these two girls get up, and they kind
01:12:37
of like throw themselves together, and they get into the car. Later on, there's a picture of, I don't have it.
01:12:43
I saw a picture, and I didn't want you to see it. I just wanted to tell you about it.
01:12:46
But they did show a picture in this show of the inside of the car, and there were like
01:12:52
No less than four empty boxes of Newports. Yes. And I was like, these girls are smoking menthol cigarettes.
01:12:59
Things have taken a turn. This serious shit. I reckon, yes. When you're like, I'm going to smoke, but it's also like having a mint.
01:13:09
No, it's not. Okay. Let's stop talking about menthol cigarettes for one second, Georgia.
01:13:17
Can we ever stop? Okay. So now they have this plan. They've been told you're going to go rob a Bank of America.
01:13:24
And they're like, sounds great. And they get into the car. They're driving to the Bank of America.
01:13:29
They realize they don't have any paper to write their ransom note on. It's so typical.
01:13:35
Do you have paper? Do you have paper? What? I don't carry a notebook. Why would there be paper?
01:13:44
The one girl got a college scholarship. She's probably fucking twice as smart as I am.
01:13:49
But let's just generalize. So they don't have paper. They have to stop and buy paper.
01:13:56
Oh. Yes, honey. Then they get the note dictated to them what it needs to say over the phone.
01:14:02
And then they go to the B of A. And they walk in and they're standing there and they realize it's the wrong B of A.
01:14:10
God, when you're in your, like, teens, early 20s, you can't get shit right. No. Just like, I drank so much Malibu rum last night.
01:14:17
I had too many amaretto sours. And no one fucked up. What did I drink all the...
01:14:25
Oh, fucking melon balls. That's like, if you want to get drunk, but you also like diabetes,
01:14:32
you have to try this. It's so delicious. Okay. They pull over, they write their ransom note
01:14:39
on their brand new single piece of paper because they're like, we don't need any other paper.
01:14:44
We have blackberries. We don't need paper. What were those ones? The flip up ones?
01:14:50
Sidekick. Sidekick. We have sidekicks. Thank you. Sidekick. We have our sidekick.
01:14:54
Okay. Also, when you know when they go into the wrong bank, they're high as fuck, right?
01:14:59
They're high. So, they have to call the bank teller who's their inside man. So, the boyfriend has a friend who's a bank teller.
01:15:10
He's the inside man. He knows exactly what they all need to do. Got it. So he was the one that told them, yeah, I'm at the B of A.
01:15:17
And then they're like, we went to B of A, you weren't there. And then he was like, no bitches.
01:15:24
Wrong fucking B. And they're like, stop calling us a bitch. Stop it. That's wrong.
01:15:29
They were supposed to go to the B of A inside the Ackworth Kroger. Love that Kroger.
01:15:38
So they're pulling a bank heist inside a fucking grocery store. That sounds stupid.
01:15:44
It's highly dumb. I'm not a bank robber yet, but that sounds really stupid. I honestly, of all the drugs that we were on at this age,
01:15:55
I feel like if you and I were doing this and then we got to a Kroger, we'd be like, you know, let's not do this anymore.
01:16:01
Like, let's get some fresh fruit and go back and watch movies because this is dumb now.
01:16:08
Like, it's embarrassing just to go to a regular bank inside a grocery store. It's just like, I'm not poor.
01:16:15
It's just convenient. But still, they stick with the plan. Keep going. Keep going no matter what, Heather and Ashley.
01:16:25
And that's what they do. So they put on what in the primetime interview Heather describes as her stunner shades,
01:16:31
which are, they both put on those humongous parasol glasses. Oh, no. Stunner shades.
01:16:37
They were told to wear wigs, but they just didn't do it. Those are too hot. No way.
01:16:46
I like how to bring to someone I know. Sorry, I want to dip out really quick and just say,
01:16:51
I love both of these girls dearly, and I'm shitting on them, but also, how fun. How fucking fun would Ashley and Heather be to just hang out with on a Friday?
01:17:01
Where it's like, you know when you make plans on a Friday, and you're like, ugh, fine, we'll go to TGI Fridays.
01:17:04
Nothing's going to happen. Somebody's going to stay. They're like the waiter. Nothing's gonna happen. We're gonna go home. Not when you invite these two nuts
01:17:11
cases. They'll just be like, you guys, we found this alley. Let's all go walk down it.
01:17:16
And we're like, okay. I don't... Heather and Ashley made us walk down the alley.
01:17:20
It was the best night I've ever had in my life. Then we were on a train. We stole a train somehow.
01:17:26
What? They party. They walk up to the inside man's Kroger bank window. Okay, got it.
01:17:35
And they pass him a note that says, give us all your loose bills, no strapped cash,
01:17:41
don't press the button, or we won't hesitate to kill you. Whoa. And meanwhile, they're laughing.
01:17:50
No. Oh. Summer shades This is so stupid We have to get out of here Did they have a weapon What that Did they have a weapon No just the weapon was that single piece of paper they bought at the stationery store
01:18:07
A paper cut ear braiding that. Oh my god. Stunner shape. They're just like, oh my god, this is nuts.
01:18:15
Okay. Also, that note might as well at the bottom, it might as well have said, also this is an inside job.
01:18:22
Like, who knows, who else would know that it's called Strapped Cash versus Loose?
01:18:26
You wouldn't know that. Pressing the button. People know about that, but. Okay, so this picture, of course, is what makes them famous.
01:18:36
Because everyone's like, that's how they get the name the Barbie Bandit. And the fact that they're laughing while they rob a bank.
01:18:42
Like, of course, the press just, they were like, it is my birthday, thank you. This is blondes committing a crime while laughing.
01:18:53
It's like everybody's done for the weekend. We appreciate it. So the inside man hands over $11,000 in loose cash that they have to stuff into a backpack.
01:19:05
Oh, my God. Yes. And then they just leave having their picture taken one billion times because it's a grocery store and a bank.
01:19:14
so there's just no end to the surveillance cameras. And like half the people that Kroger's know them
01:19:20
because it's in the town they live in probably. Oh my God, there's Heather. I play tennis with her.
01:19:27
What are you doing, girl? Not now. It's not me. Stunner shades. It's crime. Committing crime.
01:19:36
What the fuck? So they walk out. They walk out into the parking lot. They get to their car realize no one's following them. No alarms have gone off. They burst in
01:19:47
They start laughing again, and they get into the car and drive away. I Want to say they got lost on the way home, but that would be a lie
01:19:55
I thought I thought they were fucking keys are gonna be locked in their car Because how cool would that be so good? Yeah, they realize oh, I attach my keys to the ransom note
01:20:06
So when they divide up the money, they're only left with like $2,000 each. Because they have to give the cut to the inside man, they have to give the cut to the boyfriend,
01:20:20
and they kind of get more than these fucking idiots. Where it's like, just work an extra week at the strip club.
01:20:27
Yeah, it's a week's worth of fucking money. You're doing it, girls. You're already doing it.
01:20:32
so they're like, and the boyfriend says, now just keep a low profile and everything will be fine.
01:20:37
Oh, I bet they do. Yeah, they absolutely go. These do. What they do is they go to the mall.
01:20:43
Well, they change their clothes. Oh, good. So they change out of their crime blouses and they go to the mall for a shopping spree.
01:20:53
Oh, that's what you do. Yeah, moments after you rob a bag. Great. Yeah. So there's apparently a fancy salon here called Carter and Barnes.
01:21:02
that's in the mall. They went to Carter and Barnes and asked to get their hair bleached Barbie style.
01:21:10
And while they're there getting their hair done, this picture goes up on the news.
01:21:16
And everyone in the salon is talking about the Barbie bandits. And they're just sitting there like...
01:21:25
It's over! But they can't say anything. So the police, when the police put this picture up, they were like, if you know who these two people are.
01:21:38
And their moms were like, that's my daughter. That's obviously my daughter. Hundreds of people called in and said, that's Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie.
01:21:48
Oh. And they actually do kind of match them really well. They do. It's really good.
01:21:58
Oh, God. That gives me flashbacks of 2007. I mean, I remember when Paris Hilton first hit the scene
01:22:08
and people would not stop talking about her, and I thought to myself, oh, it's the end of civilization.
01:22:13
Little did I fucking know. Oh, yeah. She is like the four horsemen of the apocalypse just by herself.
01:22:22
She tried to tell us. Yeah. Okay. So almost immediately, everyone that knows them from the strip club is like,
01:22:32
listen, those are two high school strippers that we all know and love and support their art.
01:22:41
So the cops immediately know it's them, and they're just looking for them. So two days after the bank robbery, they get pulled over in driving the getaway car,
01:22:51
the same car that I'm sure the parking lot camera took a picture of them in. inside the car
01:22:59
they still have the original ransom note just balled up and thrown down are you fucking kidding me?
01:23:08
and of course the new reports and then a big bag of pot so yeah this was before it was legal so it was bad
01:23:17
bad bad also Ashley had a huge bag of ecstasy on her oh shit Yeah, I mean you can cheer for it.
01:23:26
But it's illegal to have in a big bag. Just throw it in the trunk just for that one trip.
01:23:33
If you have already robbed a bank and you're kind of like on the run in a way, don't put drugs in your pockets just for a little while.
01:23:42
Yeah, all of it. She's like weaving. She's trying to pick what she's going to put in her purse.
01:23:49
And she's like, big bag of bags to see it. No. Yeah, I just want to. Okay So they both immediately arrested It two days later With our new blonde highlights Nicole and Paris right
01:24:05
Yeah. But look at those hot roots. They're like... Can you get this slightly more yellow?
01:24:14
It's 2007. Look at those micro highlights. Yeah. Oh, that's... Alright, go on. Also, we can just do a quick eyebrow check on Ashley.
01:24:23
Oh, shit. Yeah. Shit, those eyebrows. You just don't want to do anything too permanent with the brows.
01:24:31
No. They fight you coming back. Oh my God, those eyebrows. I can't even look at them.
01:24:37
They're so sad. Also, some people in their mooch, do they use a camera that brings out all the redness in your skin?
01:24:44
Uh-huh. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair to any of us. That's our new cause.
01:24:51
Can we get a nice... Proofing fucking, what are they called? Mug shots. Get some, what do you call those?
01:24:59
Filters. Yes. Just a nice deer filter. They could both be cats or deer or have very large eyes for reasons no one can explain.
01:25:10
Okay. Listen. This dress is coming way the fuck out. I know. Okay. Yes, thank you.
01:25:18
Lisa, who's Heather's mother, gets the call that her daughter has been arrested.
01:25:26
Her 19-year-old daughter is facing up to 10 years in prison for robbery. And she's just like, but she was going to go to college.
01:25:33
So I picture her reacting. Heather, on the other hand, is having a great old time.
01:25:37
She's in the interrogation room with two cops. And they say, it'll be better for you if you just tell us where the money is.
01:25:44
So she pulls $1,000 out of her bra. Yes. She's like, hold on. Jesus Christ. Let's take a break.
01:25:57
Everyone leaves the room. That was too hot for the interrogation room. She's like, makes it rain on two cops.
01:26:07
Heather, no. Not now, Heather. Scarface poster suddenly behind her. Who put that up in the interrogation room?
01:26:17
Okay. At the trial, Heather Johnson is sentenced to 10 years probation with community service.
01:26:25
Ashley Miller pleads guilty to theft and drug distribution, so she gets 10 years in jail, but she serves two years and then is released on probation in 2010.
01:26:35
What the fuck? That's when their look really came together at the trial. Wow, that's some hair.
01:26:43
If you had to have either of their hair for the rest of your life, or their eyebrows for the rest of your life, which would it be?
01:26:51
I can fill in the eyebrows. I can't balance that hair. I am the literal opposite of any concept of a blonde in any way.
01:26:59
I would just be like, stop looking at me. I don't. Party. Oh, man. Okay. Well, it's nice to be white.
01:27:08
Carlton and Blend, or whatever. What's it called? Carter and Barnes. Carter and Barnes, ladies and gentlemen, for all your strip bleach needs.
01:27:20
Okay. 2007. That's great. From masterminding the crime, Ashley's boyfriend gets 10 years in jail.
01:27:29
The Superior Court Judge Mary Staley said to him, For the theft, you used others.
01:27:34
You orchestrated it. You sat in the back, and you put the pawns out there to do it.
01:27:38
And the bank teller, yeah, the bank teller, who's already on five years probation,
01:27:43
he gets five years and then five years in jail and then Bank of America is like, but come on back
01:27:50
when you're done. But you know what, whenever you're done buddy sets more shit up at the old
01:27:56
Kroger B of A so this is one of my favorite postscripts of all time oh by the way, the NWACP absolutely
01:28:04
called for an investigation into that case because the two hot blonde white blonde girls
01:28:12
were like, oh, I guess I'll get an ankle bracelet and I'll do better later. And then the two black guys were like, you go to jail.
01:28:18
So they did look into that. 2007, it's like it was 25 to 50 years ago, but hopefully things like that can change.
01:28:27
In 2011, this is just a fun postscript, Ashley is arrested again. Ashley. Ashley was Nicole Ritchie.
01:28:37
She's being played by Nicole Ritchie in this. She got into a fist fight outside of Barber.
01:28:43
Oh, my God. Of course she did. In a parking lot in 2010. And the reporting officer who approached them, it was two girls beating a woman that was on the ground.
01:28:53
Oh, no. Our friend Ashley was one of the beaters. And when the cop walked up, he didn't name which one, but he said,
01:29:00
one of the two women was beating the woman on the ground with a knee-length leather boot.
01:29:05
Oh. So the party has not ended for Ashley or hopefully Heather. And that is the story of the Barbie bandits.
01:29:17
That was amazing. That was nuts, right? Yeah. That was fun. Twists and turns. Everything you could want.
01:29:28
Well, hometown time. Yes. Now, we have a special guest for you. Yes. Vince April, it's not Vince.
01:29:42
He is just bringing him. Vince, any word from the tour booth? I used to have a T-Mobile sidekick.
01:29:49
Oh, really? Pick that thing open. People were always checking the internet on there because it's the only one that could do it at the time.
01:29:55
Was the sidekick the first As far as I know Okay Someone else said something else Alright I going to go get the guy Okay My time up Thank you man Thank you
01:30:05
I should have asked the sidekick follow-up question. That's okay. We have a guest who's here from your hometown.
01:30:12
We're really excited to have him. He's a friend of the podcast and has been real supportive from the beginning.
01:30:18
Yes. He has his own podcast. Yeah. Guys, will you please help us welcome from Stuff You Should Know, Chuck Bryant.
01:30:27
Yeah. He's coming out. Here he comes, everyone. Take your time, take a deep breath.
01:30:42
Let's think about it for a while. He also has a second podcast called Movie Crush.
01:30:46
Yeah, we've been on him. We did a Silence of the Lambs episode that was quite fun.
01:30:50
There he is! Yay, Chuck! Hello, friends. Hi. Come over here. Come here, you, you, Mike.
01:31:01
Chuck. Chuck Bryant, everybody. Chuck Bryant. Oh, I'm so sorry. Hi. Wow. All these fucking murderinos.
01:31:11
And you're... Yeah. Crazy. And you're from here, right? You said you saw your first concert here ever?
01:31:20
Yeah, I saw in 1983 when I was 12. I saw Cheap Trick from up there. Yeah! And I saw, you'll appreciate this, the Amnesty International Tour from over there.
01:31:35
Was that I'm not going to play Sun City, that era? Yes, exactly. Nice. So yeah, being on stage here, thank you so much.
01:31:42
Dream come true. Us too. We agreed. So tell us your hometown. Yeah, where are you from?
01:31:50
From Atlanta. I grew up in DeKalb County. Went to Red Hat High School and the University of Georgia.
01:32:00
Wow. How about that? The fighting. The fighting. Vultures. Vultures. Yeah. Go vultures.
01:32:07
Go vultures. Vultures. And then moved away a lot of years and have been back for a while.
01:32:13
So I went with a case that I picked for a couple of reasons. One is because it is a murder case, so it's very sad.
01:32:19
But she was a fucking badass. Okay, great. Along the way. Yeah. And there's the tiniest sliver of silver lining at the end.
01:32:27
Great, we love those. That's always nice. It's small, but it's there. Okay. So it's the murder of Meredith Emerson that you all probably remember was like 10 years ago.
01:32:37
and she went to the University of Georgia and was hiking one weekend in the National Forest
01:32:45
with her dog Ella on New Year's Day, 2008. Oh, wow. And a fucking creep named Gary Hilton,
01:32:53
who was like 62 years old, right, came upon her in the woods, and he had a dog, she had a dog,
01:33:02
and she was like a grandpa to her because she was 24, and she was like, well, we can go hiking together for a little while.
01:33:07
I know. So because she is 24 and he's 61, she kind of got out in front of him and left him.
01:33:15
It was not a looped trail that literally would have probably saved her life. She had to double back and come back.
01:33:21
And when she came back, he was there with a fucking hunting knife, overpowered her.
01:33:27
And the one thing that he told the cops later on was through this whole thing, she fought him so hard until he was like,
01:33:36
and I didn't think she was going to fight anymore. And she kept fucking fighting me.
01:33:39
Wow. I know, right? She had a blue belt in some sort of martial art. It's so fucking sad.
01:33:48
At her memorial service, her instructor gave her a posthumous black belt. Aww. I know.
01:33:55
So he ends up keeping her for 72 hours. No. In the woods and in his van, driving her to random ATMs to get money.
01:34:06
And every single time, I think at this point she starts to cooperate a little bit, trying to save her life.
01:34:11
And every single time she gives them a fake number so it would alert the bank and give a fucking trail of where they're going.
01:34:17
Oh, good. So smart. She's on it, which was amazing. A couple of people see them along the way.
01:34:23
One is a former cop who was hiking that sees the mess on the trail of her barrette and water bottles and a dog leash.
01:34:30
And he meets up with these other people that are like, hey, I saw a creep in the woods who looked like he wanted us to leave.
01:34:36
And none of them called the cops, even though he was a former cop. He didn't even?
01:34:42
No, no, no. Eventually, they released the name of who they think this person is.
01:34:47
That guy eventually said, oh, yeah, that's definitely the fucking guy. He parks his van at the end of the 72-hour ordeal,
01:34:56
and it turns out that he had tied her to a tree, went back to make some coffee, came back and she, it's so heartbreaking, was like,
01:35:06
I thought you had left and were going to just leave me out here. So she was relieved to see him.
01:35:12
And he fucking killed her and cut her fucking head off. The worst thing you could ever imagine.
01:35:21
Then that's when these people are like, that's the guy, that's the guy. In DeKalb County, not too far from here.
01:35:27
I guess this all happened on a mountain called Blood Mountain, by the way. Jesus
01:35:31
and someone called the cops and said this guy, this van that I saw on the news is at a gas station
01:35:40
and he's got bottles of bleach get here so he was just about to start dousing his van in bleach
01:35:47
not that it probably would have mattered the cops show up and arrest him he agrees to a plea deal
01:35:53
to avoid the death penalty if he takes him to the body which he does and Ask her mom. He releases the dog, by the way, before he does this.
01:36:05
And he was like, it was really hard to kill her because we had just spent a few great days together.
01:36:11
I know. So they talked to the mom in court about the plea deal, and she said, I'm fine with the plea deal because I want him to rot in prison for as long as possible.
01:36:23
And was like, the death penalty is too easy way out for this fucking asshole. Good.
01:36:28
So he does not get the death penalty. He gets 30 years. Then they end up pinning a murder in Florida on him, an elderly couple in North Carolina on him, and possibly this one other guy.
01:36:42
And he got life for the couple in North Carolina at times two and the death penalty from Florida.
01:36:47
Oh, shit. Because I guess it's all they're all. Florida. I think he's still in prison today.
01:36:53
the tiny sliver of silver lining is they found the dog four days later and her parents took the dog in in Colorado.
01:37:05
And I think this is the last year, but for ten years afterward, they had a run for Ella,
01:37:10
which was the dog's name, which was a charity run to raise money for organizations
01:37:15
that help people feel safe in national forests and on hiking trips. Wow, that's great.
01:37:21
Yeah. Wow. What was her name again? Her name was Meredith Emerson and it was really big news in Atlanta It was only ten years ago and she just apparently just fucking kicked the shit out of this guy Amazing At every opportunity Nice And it really the saddest thing ever though
01:37:38
Yeah. They always are. That was a perfectly done hometown, Chuck. Okay. Thank you so much.
01:37:44
Thank you. It was so awesome. I appreciate it. Thanks, everybody. Thank you. Great job.
01:37:51
Chuck Ryan, everybody. I hope you're playing this song. His podcast is one of the first big huge podcasts.
01:38:03
He's like in early, early days. Oh, oh, and also he gave us this card that someone gave him.
01:38:12
The Stay Sexy Social is happening here in Atlanta, right? It's benefits and the backlog.
01:38:21
It's on Sunday, this Sunday. get more information it's at www.staysexysocial.com
01:38:30
go to this and raise money and the backlog thank you so much for doing that that's so awesome
01:38:36
all your friends will be there and thanks for getting business cards made classy shit
01:38:41
we don't even have business cards we have to get business cards oh my god we have to do it immediately
01:38:46
also Payne Lindsey is in the audience oh yeah oh yeah from Up and Finish. With this fucking Atlanta child murders Oh my God We got all the pot the big time Atlanta podcasters Atlanta
01:39:09
I love you and not just because your name is Georgia But you guys are so supportive of us. Thank you so much for
01:39:23
It's it's ruined because we post our live shows and the speeches that we give in
01:39:28
the end are always, it sounds really hacky because we always say the same thing, but
01:39:31
it's very difficult to express the kind of gratitude that we have for the listeners of
01:39:38
this podcast and the way you guys interact, the way you guys support each other, the way
01:39:43
you support us, the way you show up, the way you're vocal. It's such an incredible experience to feel this connected to so many people and have this
01:39:51
many best friends. Yeah. And we really thank you so much. The reason we say this after every show is because truly the minute we walk out on stage,
01:40:04
it's this insane feeling of, I can't believe this is my fucking line. How did I get so lucky?
01:40:09
And it's all because of you guys being so supportive. So thank you guys truly so much.
01:40:14
And we just really, really appreciate it. So thank you. Appreciate it is what I meant to say.
01:40:20
Thank you so much. Thank you, Atlanta. we'll see you soon we'll be back thank you
01:40:28
stay sexy and bye Lana thank you if audiobooks are your thing or if you been meaning to listen to more of them Bye Lena Thank you
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book. Check out Earsay on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Goodbye.

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This episode stands out for the following:

  • 60
    Most chaotic

Episode Highlights

  • Vintage Shopping Fun
    A humorous take on the joys of vintage shopping and personal anecdotes.
    “I just broke into someone's house and stole their clothes.”
    @ 03m 46s
    January 02, 2020
  • The Pockets Revolution
    A lighthearted discussion about the joys of pockets in dresses.
    “Look at me in my pockets, everybody.”
    @ 06m 51s
    January 02, 2020
  • Barbara's Kidnapping
    Barbara Mackle, a wealthy heiress, is kidnapped while sick during finals week.
    “She comes down with the Hong Kong glue, but she doesn't want to go home.”
    @ 24m 03s
    January 02, 2020
  • The Elaborate Plot
    The kidnappers meticulously plan Barbara's abduction, showcasing their sinister intentions.
    “He was actually planning one of the most elaborate kidnapping plots in FBI history.”
    @ 28m 03s
    January 02, 2020
  • 83 Hours Till Dawn
    Barbara survives being buried alive for 83 hours, a harrowing ordeal.
    “Spoiler alert, she survives.”
    @ 37m 03s
    January 02, 2020
  • Gary's Capture
    Gary is ironically captured in Port Charlotte, Florida, after a long manhunt.
    “So Gary's captured and ironically captured at a place in Florida called Port Charlotte.”
    @ 46m 59s
    January 02, 2020
  • Heather's Rebellion
    Teenager Heather Johnston rebels against her parents and becomes a stripper.
    “She starts dating a guy her parents don't approve of.”
    @ 56m 27s
    January 02, 2020
  • The Barbie Bandits' Heist
    Two girls plan a bank robbery while high, leading to unexpected chaos.
    “They realize they don't have any paper to write their ransom note on.”
    @ 01h 13m 29s
    January 02, 2020
  • Caught in the Act
    The Barbie Bandits get arrested just days after their infamous robbery.
    “They still have the original ransom note just balled up and thrown down.”
    @ 01h 22m 59s
    January 02, 2020
  • Trial and Sentencing
    The Barbie Bandits face the consequences of their actions in court.
    “Heather Johnson is sentenced to 10 years probation with community service.”
    @ 01h 26m 25s
    January 02, 2020
  • Chuck Bryant Joins the Stage
    Chuck Bryant from Stuff You Should Know makes a heartfelt entrance.
    “Dream come true.”
    @ 01h 31m 40s
    January 02, 2020
  • Meredith's Mother's Strength
    Meredith's mother discusses her feelings about the plea deal.
    “The death penalty is too easy way out for this fucking asshole.”
    @ 01h 36m 23s
    January 02, 2020

Episode Quotes

  • It's the pockets revolution.
    203 - Live at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta (2018)
  • You can have all the money in the world, you're still gonna get sick.
    203 - Live at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta (2018)
  • I screamed and screamed. The sound of the dirt got farther and farther away.
    203 - Live at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta (2018)
  • What if you had to be the extra?
    203 - Live at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta (2018)
  • The fact that I'm not dead is proof that Jesus is real.
    203 - Live at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta (2018)
  • The death penalty is too easy way out for this fucking asshole.
    203 - Live at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta (2018)

Key Moments

  • Food Adventures03:18
  • Buried Alive36:59
  • Barbara's Rescue46:28
  • Gary's Capture46:59
  • Heather's Rebellion56:27
  • Creepy Dude1:08:23
  • Barbie Bandits1:18:36
  • Audience Connection1:39:43

Tension Over Time

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown