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00:01:41
Hello and welcome to my favorite murder. The Minnesota in Georgia's closet. That's right.
00:01:52
And Karen's second bedroom. That's right. What do you call that room? The guest room?
00:01:58
Guest room. Okay. Because there's only two. So I don't want to start counting off extra bedrooms because it ends.
00:02:05
The list ends at this one. Well, you've actually had guests in that second bedroom.
00:02:10
I think I have to call mine a second bedroom because there's never been a guest.
00:02:13
Because it's purely for the bed. That's the guest. There's no bed. It's almost like a do not sit here if you're not Vince or Georgia sign.
00:02:23
Oh, well then, look, that's how you want your house to be. What better time than the pandemic to have a house like that?
00:02:30
Right. No one's welcome. Perfect. How are you? Perfect. Good. How are you? Good.
00:02:37
I'll be honest. As you know, I just had to take Georgia. George. Sorry. Please don't take me to the vet.
00:02:43
I just had to take my dog Georgie to the vet because I could tell she had a bad tooth.
00:02:50
She looked unhappy. She does some low moans and she's been drooling a lot. So I had to drive her up there.
00:02:57
And on the freeway up to the vet, I had a panic attack on the freeway because it all kind of started to start sitting on me of like what's happening.
00:03:07
And right as I was like, oh, no, do I have to pull off the freeway and start breathing weird or whatever?
00:03:13
And then this voice, I don't know where it came from because I never am this nice to myself.
00:03:17
this voice came in that went, of course you're having a panic attack. What are you supposed to be doing?
00:03:23
Of course you are. And then it all went away almost immediately. That's nice. Thank God.
00:03:27
That's nice to acknowledge it and be like, yeah, it's all right. Yes. What the hell are we supposed to be doing?
00:03:32
Treat yourself like Georgie's tooth. Be gentle with your, be gentle. Drool a lot.
00:03:41
Because you're rotten. To the core. I just looked over at her laughing and then she started laughing.
00:03:50
Wait, she wagged her tail. Can you see that? Georgie. Georgie. You wagged your tail.
00:03:56
Oh, there's a tail. There it is. Love it. Right, Georgie? There it is. Hey. Okay, don't.
00:04:01
We got a frank one, too. All right. This is the mini-show. Oh, no. Sorry. What? I forgot we were recording.
00:04:10
Oh. I was just holding up my Skype to my dogs on a podcast. Guys, it was for me.
00:04:18
I know, that's true. How are you guys doing? We're here for you. How is everybody?
00:04:22
I'm in my closet because it sounds good in here, but I don't think I can do this anymore.
00:04:26
No, you're going to have to search. This is going to be your homework assignment.
00:04:29
Search the rest of your house for another spot. Okay. You can do it. Yeah, I'm doing it.
00:04:33
Get up in that attic, girl. That's the third bedroom, actually. The crawl space.
00:04:42
Yes. Tiny bed in there. Should we read stuff? Do you want to go first? I think it's time.
00:04:47
The subject line of this email is who killed Big Daddy? Hey, MFM gang. I've been listening to your podcast for years and I've always meant to send in this story.
00:04:56
It's not my hometown, but it is about someone I knew. Fabio Sementelli was a hairstylist, educator and the VP of a hair company originally from Canada.
00:05:06
He split his time between Toronto and L.A. He had a huge welcoming smile and he was known in the hair industry as Big Daddy, partly because he looked like a big friendly Santa Claus and also for his big friendly heart.
00:05:19
I only met him a few times, but he was seriously just a good guy. Everyone who met him liked him.
00:05:24
He just had one of those awesome personalities. OK, we get it. So something bad is going to happen to Big Daddy.
00:05:32
Oh, wait, that's it's set it in this subject line. In January 2017, we were shocked to learn that Fabio had been stabbed to death in a brutal
00:05:40
carjacking outside his LA home in broad daylight. He was discovered by his own daughter. Oh,
00:05:47
that's horrible. Everyone who knew him was devastated. It was a huge loss. It was a brutal
00:05:52
crime and it seemed a bit fishy His expensive car had been stolen but then ditched not far from his home Why would you kill someone for their car only to ditch it a couple blocks later Shock turned to anger five months later when we found out that his wife of 20 years and her lover were arrested for first murder
00:06:10
The two allegedly had an affair and decided to kill Fabio for his $1.6 million life insurance
00:06:16
policy. Reports say that the two were partying in Vegas shortly after the murder, even though
00:06:21
publicly she was playing the sad widow. Both alleged killers are still awaiting trial,
00:06:26
apparently slated for this spring or summer. I hope that once the trial is over, justice will
00:06:31
be served for this amazing guy who was taken too soon. He's truly missed. Thanks for all that you
00:06:37
do. Virginia from Ottawa, Canada. Oh, that's so sad. And to have his daughter find it. I wonder
00:06:45
if that was part of the plan. What an evil act. Well, that it but that would have been the mother's
00:06:50
planned. Maybe it was a stepmother. Maybe it was like... But also just like so short-sighted and awful.
00:06:59
Yeah. Horrible. Another horrible email. Thank you. That's what it's all about. Clap, clap.
00:07:06
This says, Stephen, my uncle was murdered by a serial killer. Yes, I just channeled my most YouTube-esque
00:07:14
clickbait title, but I promise it's worth it. At a live show in Columbus, Georgia beautifully covered serial
00:07:20
killer donald harvey however a specific murder was left out arguably donald harvey's most violent
00:07:26
murder that of my great uncle oh yeah she's like great job georgia you fucked up which is a really
00:07:32
great way to tell someone they fucked up i don't feel attacked at all for real oh good yeah good
00:07:38
because you are um i'm from bumfuck london kentucky which apart from priding itself on
00:07:44
giving Colonel Sanders his start in opening the first KFC restaurant. Yay. What more do you want?
00:07:50
I know. Which is celebrated every September downtown in the annual World Chicken Festival,
00:07:56
in which they bring in the world's largest skillet and serve chicken in it. I swear I'm not shitting you right now.
00:08:01
You can Google this shit. London also gave Donald Harvey his career as an orderly at Marymount Hospital.
00:08:08
Oh. Yeah. And he was the angel of death who killed like 80-something people, and he was awful.
00:08:13
And I definitely left some stuff out because it's hard to talk about that stuff on stage.
00:08:17
And this one is also when people have 80 when their victims are up in the 80s. And when it gets that high, the research becomes so intense.
00:08:26
It becomes really problematic because there's so many people to name and talk about.
00:08:31
And our show is only two and a half hours long. So, OK, so Marymount Hospital. While he was there, he unfortunately crossed paths with my 81-year-old great uncle in 1970.
00:08:45
This was actually unfortunate for both of them. Their relationship really kicked off when Donald Harvey tripped over my uncle's drainage tube and ripped his catheter out of his penis.
00:08:55
Shortly after, I know, rumor has it that my uncle started paying attention to him and frequently calling him a demon from hell.
00:09:03
The rumor was that for some reason, my uncle was suspicious of him. And when Harvey entered his room in the middle of the night, my uncle hid behind the door and hit Harvey over the head with a urinal.
00:09:14
Jesus. He knocked Harvey unconscious and then poured the contents of the urinal on him.
00:09:20
An 81-year-old. Harvey was taken to the emergency room on a stretcher while my uncle told the orderlies that he thought he was a burglar.
00:09:28
Fucking with a serial killer. Now we get to the murder. Why are you sneaking into an old man's room in the middle of the night?
00:09:35
Because you're a serial killer. Because you're a killer. Right. Once Harvey was released and went back to work, he once again snuck into my uncle's room in the middle of the night.
00:09:44
Georgia mentioned that one of Harvey's favorite means of punishment was to use improper sized catheters on patients.
00:09:51
Okay. Harvey proceeded to give my uncle a size 21 catheter intended for a female instead of the standard size 18 for males.
00:10:00
And then I never do this either, but I'm not reading the next line. If you want to read more, find more about his awful deeds, you can do so online.
00:10:06
My uncle immediately went into shock and fell into a coma shortly after. He died four days later from the trauma he suffered.
00:10:14
The entirety of my uncle's story is featured in the book Defending Donald Harvey written by his attorney.
00:10:19
So here's a few updates for you. As you all may know, Donald Harvey was beaten to death in his cell in prison in 2017 by another inmate, James Elliott, who has since been charged with the crime.
00:10:29
As for London, Marymount Hospital is now closed. And not only did they close, they tore that bitch down not long after.
00:10:36
I guess that's our way of saying, hey, we're sorry we knew this guy was causing deaths of patients and swept it under the rug to avoid bad press.
00:10:43
We'll just tear the whole place down and pretend it never happened. Sorry for the big fat fucking bummer, ladies.
00:10:48
I love you all dearly and you'll never cease to make me feel better when things seem too dark.
00:10:53
Please keep fighting the good fight and don't you dare stop recording. Stay sexy, Sarah.
00:10:57
Wow, Sarah. Sarah, that's a big one. Probably easily our most catheter-based email that we've ever had, which is automatically uncomfortable for everyone involved.
00:11:08
Hey, send us your catheter stories, guys. Send us your catheters. This week Karen in Georgia put a call out for catheters and catheter stories.
00:11:20
We're just like those late night reruns. I used to constantly wake up on the couch at like three in the morning with a really loud catheter commercial.
00:11:28
I'd just be like, oh, my God, it's happening in my life. That's what you get when you watch old timey like detective shows.
00:11:36
It's just catheter and mesh sponge. I don't know what they're called. Truly. Heart to heart.
00:11:42
And then. Yeah. Don't reuse your catheters. Mesothelioma. Mesothelioma. If you or a loved one has mesothelioma.
00:11:51
Right. All right. Ready for this next one? More badness on the way. My badass aunt stayed sexy and did not get murdered Hello amazing ladies steven and furry creatures heard the request for survival survival stories in the latest mini soda and i figured i
00:12:05
send this one uh last week my mom and i were on the phone hello social distancing boredom and i
00:12:11
was asking her what it's been like living so many places that have active active serial killers
00:12:16
during their collective reign of terror they moved to rancho cordova which is a suburb of sacramento
00:12:21
during the height of the East Area Rapist Golden State Killer from the Bay Area where the Zodiac had been active a few years earlier.
00:12:31
Good old NorCal in the 70s, am I right? Yes, you are. Then my mom says to me, you know your aunt was kidnapped as a teenager, right?
00:12:39
What? All caps. Apparently when my aunt was 16, she had just gotten her driver's license.
00:12:45
She wanted to run to the store one night and my grandparents reluctantly let her go.
00:12:49
She just needed one thing and it had been cold, so she ran in and left the car door unlocked so that she could jump back in quickly.
00:12:59
After she got in and started driving, a man sat up in the backseat and pulled a gun out, told her to keep driving her.
00:13:05
He was going to kill her. He had her drive to the beach about an hour away, forced her out onto the beach where he raped her and then started choking her.
00:13:13
So my quick thinking aunt pretended to pass out and played dead. This asshole then got in her car and drove away thinking she was dead
00:13:21
Leaving my aunt stranded naked on the beach She made her way back to the highway where she got help
00:13:27
The police caught the guy in my aunt's car and he was arrested Found out later that he had raped and killed two other women in the area shortly before he tried to kill my aunt
00:13:36
Many years later my grandfather told my mom that he had a bad feeling that night when she was leaving
00:13:41
And he almost got in their other car and followed her just to be safe But he decided not to
00:13:47
because he thought that she would be upset. And then in all caps, it says, always listen to your gut.
00:13:52
My aunt stayed sexy and went on to become an amazing human who, despite having many awful things happen to her,
00:13:58
somehow has managed to be one of the most positive and kindest people I know. Love you, ladies.
00:14:03
Give Elvis a cookie for me. Stay sexy. And don't get COVID-19. Laura. Oh, my God.
00:14:09
What a harrowing story. Yeah. It's just so crazy what some people go through in their lives
00:14:13
and can still be positive afterwards, you know? it just makes you not want to worry about the fight you're having with your neighbor.
00:14:20
Right. Exactly. Exactly. It gives nice perspective. Yeah. Okay. This one I was going to read last week, but then you read that one beautiful one
00:14:28
and there was no way to follow it. So let me. Okay. This one's called Nana's Condoms.
00:14:37
Nice call. Nice editorial call on the fly, Georgia. Thank you. You're like, let me follow that up with Nana's Condoms.
00:14:44
Let's try Nana's condoms. Hi, I'm such a fan of the podcast. What y'all have created and you each
00:14:50
as human beings. Thank you. Thanks. This is mostly a badass grandma brag story, but in the theme of
00:14:56
grandparents squirreling things away. My Nana Bonnie was widowed at 37, losing her 40 year old
00:15:01
husband to pancreatic cancer. She was the strongest lady I've ever known, got a job, raised their three
00:15:07
kids on her own, sent them all to college and never remarried or even really dated. She always
00:15:12
said she married her husband for life and wasn't interested in anyone else. Oh, God, I'm going to cry.
00:15:18
I know. She was the kind of lady that walked a mile every morning, well into her 80s, made the
00:15:23
best grits, quilted Christmas stockings for my future children she wouldn't get to meet,
00:15:28
and always asked me if I wanted a cup of coffee as she made hers, even when I was like eight.
00:15:33
I could go on and on about her, but I'll get to it. You want a cup of coffee, eight-year-old?
00:15:39
That's so my Aunt Kathleen. The kitchen, coffee, and always having some kind of a Entenmann's cheese Danish on the table.
00:15:50
Yeah. A little slice of Danish. Yeah. Oh, my God. Eight-year-old Karen, how do you take your coffee?
00:15:55
I mean, I just have it the way everybody else is having it. And then get me a beer, too.
00:16:02
I'd rather have that half of my dad's beer. After her husband died, she found out that she no longer had a need for certain items.
00:16:10
My 37-year-old Nana walked into her backyard gardening shovel in hand and proceeded to bury her unused condoms.
00:16:24
And then it says in all caps, because obviously. I wish I had asked her more before we lost her seven years ago.
00:16:30
All my sister, mom, and I can figure out is that she was too much of a proper southern lady to risk making the garbage man blush when he saw the condoms in the trash.
00:16:40
I honestly don't even know. But I smile to think of her digging in her backyard, thinking that was the best place to dispose of condoms she knew she didn't need since the love of her life was gone.
00:16:49
And I smile thinking of the person who I hope has since discovered this buried treasure.
00:16:55
Stay sexy and be like Bonnie, Anna in South Carolina. Oh, Bonnie. I know. She was like, well, it's just not.
00:17:03
We just can't have people looking at these. I don't. It's my business. It's just not proper.
00:17:07
You can't flush them down the toilet. Oh, that trash man. He'll go right down the street and start talking about my condoms if I throw them in there.
00:17:15
They go right under the geraniums. Everyone in South Carolina, dig up your yard and see if you can find 1970s condoms in there.
00:17:22
Dig. However old they are. It's their Trojan brand, but they're filled with glitter.
00:17:29
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making it easy to bring a more premium feel into everyday life. I am a fan of Quince.
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Yeah, Karen's wardrobe is Quince. I'm a lazy basics person. And the things that I get from them, I always go, oh yeah, now I'm wearing these.
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They work, they're cute, they're stylish. And they're classy. Like it doesn't look lazy, it looks classy.
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Quince.com slash MFM. Goodbye. When you're young, you don't really buy furniture.
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head over to article.com. Goodbye. This is my last one. It's an uplifting one. I won't read the subject line because it's an indicator. Hello and welcome.
00:20:59
Thank you. It might be my favorite one yet. Hello and welcome. I live in Washington State and here we have a restaurant called The Rack. Sorry, The Rock.
00:21:10
I don't Sorry, I don't have my glasses on I'm going to plus this one Plused up I mean, honestly, the rack sounds more of a restaurant than the rock
00:21:20
You know, I was thinking of like A fun place to drink And dance and show your rack off to people
00:21:26
Don't they call Pool tables Racking the balls or something? I don't know Yeah, yeah, rack them up
00:21:34
Anyway, she's talking about the rock The restaurant, the rock Basically, a fancy bar food pizza with strange hipster ingredients.
00:21:43
They have these drinks that are made in little sand buckets like the kind you give a five-year-old when you go to the beach.
00:21:49
That's hilarious. No. Have you seen the Instagram, We Want Plates? It's just photos from restaurants of people trying to put food on kitschy fake plates.
00:22:00
This would be perfect for that. You can't use them. Except for their drinks are in the buckets.
00:22:05
That's how big their mixed drinks are. This is a party bar for sure. So this person says, all right, one night a few of my friends and I had too many buckets and we were obnoxiously buzzed.
00:22:17
After we left, don't worry, we had a designated driver. We hit the back roads and drove past an Italian restaurant.
00:22:23
As we drove by, I looked at the window at the exact right time and saw a girl collapse outside the Italian place.
00:22:30
I screamed for my friend to pull into the parking lot, and I was basically out of the car before she put it in park.
00:22:35
The girl I saw collapsing was having a seizure. My years of Grey's Anatomy training kicked in, and I turned her on her side, made sure someone was calling 911, etc.
00:22:46
Paramedics came and helped her. Turns out she was an employee and was just trying to have a smoke break after her stressful night.
00:22:52
If I hadn't looked over at that time, if my friends and I weren't responsible with a sober driver,
00:22:58
Things could have gone so horribly and someone could have lost their daughter, sister or friend.
00:23:02
I don't remember her name, but if you're in but if you're a murdering on listening, just know that I think about you often and hope you're OK.
00:23:10
It's nice to know that even after mass amounts of alcohol, I can act correctly in serious situations.
00:23:15
That is the best feeling. Stay sexy. Have a designated driver and binge watch binge watch medical shows that you can be a doctor when you need to.
00:23:23
Dev. I love my Grey's Anatomy training. It wasn't like binging. It was training.
00:23:29
That's amazing. Dev, I'm very proud of you. I love that you got involved. I love that you were drunk but still paying attention to other people.
00:23:36
But you won't die from a seizure as a person who's had many of them. It's very noble, but you're not a fucking 9-11 responder.
00:23:45
So just relax. Just kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding. Karen taking her down. Just kidding.
00:23:50
I literally, if I woke up and she had called an ambulance, I would have been like, what
00:23:54
the fuck? I have to pay like seven grand now. Yeah. That was, I used to always tell people that if I even.
00:24:00
I thought I might have a seizure. I'd be like, do not call 911. I can't pay for it.
00:24:04
As they're freaking the fuck out. Yeah, I'm like, too bad. You have to freak out. It's worth $7,000 to me.
00:24:10
I mean, let's talk about the health care system right now. Oh, my God. Okay, this one, my last one's called Corona, Coronavirus Bright Spot.
00:24:20
Hi, all. I just finished listening to Monday's Maxi said where you asked for uplifting stories amid this time of fear and uncertainty.
00:24:26
So I thought I'd share. I work as a nurse in a level four neonatal intensive care unit where very sick and very tiny babies are cared for.
00:24:35
And as you can imagine, many of the nurses and staff working here are women with families and young children.
00:24:40
Now that all the schools and daycares in Minnesota have been shut down, these families have been left without child care.
00:24:47
However, as soon as it was announced the schools were closed, other nurses in the unit without children immediately started volunteering to provide child care for their co-workers who were left in the lurch.
00:24:56
The front desk secretaries are now working on putting together a spreadsheet to coordinate people who are available to watch kids and those who need child care.
00:25:06
Needless to say, I love my coworkers and I'm so proud that we have built a community that is willing to help each other out in the most dire of circumstances.
00:25:14
I hope this story helps you feel a little less like the world is falling apart and makes you feel a little bit better about your fellow humans.
00:25:20
I'm about to cry. That's me, not the letter. Stay sexy and do something kind today, Jane.
00:25:25
P.S. You have quite a few NICU nurserinos here on our unit. Who knew that people who help care for the tiniest and most vulnerable patients would also have such a fucked up hobby?
00:25:37
Thank you Jane for sending that Oh I love that I also love just having been raised by a nurse nurses are so no shit
00:25:48
And they're just about like, let's take care of the problem and solve it and get it moving forward.
00:25:54
Like, it's very similar to teachers where my sister was like, yeah, they told us in one day that we were no longer like going to be teaching that the kids weren't coming back to school.
00:26:04
She goes, in four hours, we had an at-home teaching system set up. Wow. Like, it's just so, it's, yeah.
00:26:11
There's nothing, powerful women, I swear to God. It's just like, if people would just get the fuck out of the way, we could really get some stuff done.
00:26:17
It's doers. We're doers, you know? Doers. Because we have had no choice. That's what we were raised.
00:26:23
That's what society expects from us, but it's what we expect from ourselves, too, which is nothing less than.
00:26:28
I was just going to say, and some of us have had a ton of doers. And so we're just ready to go with all the drink.
00:26:34
We drank so much doers in our life. That was a fun pun, Georgia. You didn't. I don't get it.
00:26:41
Shit. Say it again. Doers. Is it too, is that too top shelf? I only, Karen killed Gareth in a time of crisis.
00:26:50
Oh my God. She's racking them up. She's racking them up. Rack them up at the rock.
00:26:57
At the rock. Get a bucket and drink it with your friends. Drink a dirty bucket from the party supply store.
00:27:06
Drink your whole Long Island iced tea out of it. Get your audios motherfucker in a bucket tonight at The Rock.
00:27:15
I tell you right now thank you whoever is in charge upstairs that I don drink anymore in this time of crisis Because it would have been me on the phone with people I shouldn be calling and telling the neighbor stuff I shouldn be saying and
00:27:31
oh my god, the out of control robe in the street type of shit I would be doing. Yeah, I'm definitely trying to be careful. I'm definitely trying to be careful because
00:27:43
yeah, I know me. I know me better than anyone. I heard my neighbors next door for a second the
00:27:48
other day, I thought they were having a party, but they were just both singing, put your head on my
00:27:52
shoulder at the same time, clearly drunk, yelling it like yell, singing it. So at first I was like,
00:27:58
you can't be having a party right now. And then I'm like, Oh my God, they're just doing it together.
00:28:02
Did you start screaming, singing it back with them? I said, shut up. No, I would just kind of sat here like, Oh, that's funny. Like, I don't know why that made
00:28:11
me so at first I was like, stop gathering in groups of 10 or more. And I was like, Oh no,
00:28:16
It's like a couple slow dancing in the front room drunk at 2 p.m. Yeah. Why not?
00:28:23
That sounds lovely. Do what you got to do. Listen, look, we're all in this together.
00:28:28
Where's Elvis? Come here, Elvis. We're all in this together and indoors. I'll get him.
00:28:33
I'll get a meow later. Well, thanks for, please write in. Please don't send us your catheters.
00:28:38
Send us more positive stories. Send us stories about how you're coping and what's going on.
00:28:43
We want to hear stories of positivity from the quarantine because we know they're out
00:28:46
there. we see them on social media but it's more fun to uh tell everybody at once so if you have them
00:28:51
let even the little things little things big things we like it all what uh what else are we
00:28:57
gonna do seriously at my favorite murder at gmail and you know and stay sexy and don get murdered elvis do you want a cookie why is it always chaos when we link up because nobody plans anything bro good thing the rogue ready like that for real rain dirt whatever available
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all-wheel drive five modes we still outside and they got some kick too that turbo torque is crazy
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the most in its class it moves moves rogue doesn't mess around and peep the space merch on merch
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00:30:21
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