00:00:00
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00:01:46
And welcome to the minisode. Of My Favorite Murder. That's right. We did it backwards.
00:01:53
Tricked ya. It's tricked ya day. there's a very good chance I've forgotten how to do mini sobs a very good chance it's been like a
00:02:02
week and a half two weeks or so yeah yeah it just slips your mind these things that if you don't
00:02:07
really keep up and really practice on the daily you can lose it all that's right speaking of
00:02:13
birthdays when this comes out it's gonna be your birthday today monday that's right may 11th happy
00:02:21
birthday thank you wishing you a good year and health wealth and happiness thank you so much
00:02:28
yeah you want to go first because it's your birthday yeah is that my big present perfect
00:02:33
is that what you got me i actually did get you something but you're gonna get it later
00:02:38
i'm gonna get it uh in 2022 yeah summer of 2022 yeah i think i'm going off the mic stand do it
00:02:46
i can't it's i'm trying to figure out how to make this more comfortable freestyle that thing you can
00:02:50
do it it's your birthday you can do anything you want uh i'm not gonna read you the subject line
00:02:55
hi karen georgia steven and a potpourri of animals when my older sister was about 10 she came down
00:03:02
the stairs in the middle of the night to my mom's room crying that she saw a strange man at the foot
00:03:06
of her bed she describes him as a tall dark-haired man with a handlebar mustache whispering beans
00:03:12
in a deep soft whispering beans the word beans the word beans like refried it's you you can imagine when i started reading this email i was like yeah well here's here's my
00:03:27
favorite one of all my mom brushed it off as a nightmare and sent her back to bed
00:03:32
the next night she came down around the same time saying the man had come back This happened over and over for about two weeks until finally the visit stopped.
00:03:42
About a year or so later, my mom got a big box of old family photos from her great aunt that had recently passed away.
00:03:48
She began to hang them up chronologically one by one down the main staircase in our foyer.
00:03:53
My sister came to see her progress when she gasped at the sight of one of the photos.
00:03:57
This is beans! My mom and I examined the photo and the man was exactly as my sister described.
00:04:05
tall, slim, dark haired, and with that iconic handled bar mustache. My mom got the strangest
00:04:11
look on her face and began to tell us the story of how this was the only member of our family
00:04:15
ever to be murdered. He was a pharmacist in a small town in Ohio, a few towns over from us,
00:04:22
back in the 1800s. There was a feud happening between two families in the town, and supposedly
00:04:27
one side broke into the pharmacy and switched around a few of the medicines to try to mess
00:04:32
with the other side. My great, great, great, truly not going to keep going because this is already long as fuck,
00:04:38
uncle, took what he thought was his medication and wound up being poisoned and killed.
00:04:44
Holy shit. We ended up finding the death certificate on Ancestry.com and everything.
00:04:49
There was no way my sister could have seen that picture before, but also she was 10
00:04:54
and known to, as my dad says, storytell. So who's to say? Anyways, love y'all. Peace, love, beans.
00:05:01
Anna. Oh, man, I was really hoping like he was a bean farmer or there was going to be some connection to beans.
00:05:07
But that's OK. It's still good. I mean, I think maybe that was the thing he was craving.
00:05:12
Like that's what he was supposed to have for dinner right before he took his medicine.
00:05:15
And then he's like, he's left in eternal, you know, whatever. Maybe the guy who killed him was his nickname was Beans.
00:05:24
Yes, that's got to be it. Let's think of four more variables that could be happening in this story.
00:05:29
Perfect. OK, good one. What if he thought the little girl's name was Beans because she looked like a bean?
00:05:35
What if he was named Beans and he's mad that the dog didn't protect him? What if he's a vegan?
00:05:43
Okay. Hey, Karen in Georgia. Love you. Love what you do. Love mental health visibility.
00:05:48
All right. Enough with the flattery. Let's get to it. I'm currently sheltering. We'll rush through the flattery all the time.
00:05:53
They rush and rush. Like we don like it Yeah I currently sheltering in place with my aunt and uncle in Aurora Oregon I had to get out of my 500 square foot apartment all by myself in Seattle where things are pretty rough
00:06:05
I've tried for years to get family members to talk to me about murder, but they all look at me cross-eyed and tell me I should get into something a little less heavy, like gardening.
00:06:14
Anyway, I was going for a walk with my Aunt Lynn through the beautiful Oregon countryside next to the river, and we walked by a house, and my aunt says to me,
00:06:21
You know, a man who used to live here was recently found dead in his home, and he'd been dead for 18 months before anyone found him.
00:06:28
And in all caps, I'm sorry, what? I said, say more right now. Apparently, she's been holding out on me for over two decades.
00:06:35
One of the original members of the Mickey Mouse Club, Dennis Day, used to live down the street from my family, and he moved to Phoenix with his long-term partner, Henry Caswell.
00:06:44
Dennis appeared during the original first episodes of the Mickey Mouse Club in the 1950s.
00:06:49
I looked up some videos and he was a damn cute tap dancer. Dennis and Henry moved to Phoenix and in their old age, hired some dude to stay in the house
00:06:56
with them and help with chores, cooking, all that jazz. The dude they hired, Daniel Berta, is a dick.
00:07:03
He was knocked down with the chores and slacked off constantly. So obviously Dennis and Henry wanted him to get the fuck out.
00:07:08
But guess what? Daniel wouldn't leave. Eventually, Henry had to be admitted to an assisted living facility because of dementia.
00:07:14
So when he told caretakers that he thinks his husband is missing, he was dismissed.
00:07:19
they didn't believe him that bastard daniel burda murdered dennis shoved him under a giant heap of
00:07:25
clothes and left him there for 18 months burda continued to live in the house with the dead
00:07:31
body for months and he used cleaning supplies to cover up the leaking fluids because quote it smelled
00:07:36
like death and then says what a dick they caught the fucker he's been arrested on charges of second
00:07:41
degree manslaughter criminally negligent homicide criminal mistreatment and abuse of a corpse and he
00:07:46
confessed thankfully anyway i hope the story rocks your world at least a little bit because my jaw was
00:07:51
on the floor for days thank you for everything y'all do to normalize the love of the macabre
00:07:55
and normalize mental health conversations stay sexy and please check in on your neighbors
00:07:59
caitlin oh i remember reading that story uh-huh because well we used to watch the mickey mouse
00:08:06
club every day after school because it was in reruns and so it's kind of stuck out to me but
00:08:11
also i don't understand those people i mean obviously there's a lot of issues going on
00:08:16
how you could live in the house with a person that you killed it's just such a sign of how
00:08:21
cut off you are from definitely it's hideous yeah and then to complain that it smelled like dead
00:08:27
bodies because so you've tried to cover it up to fucking complain about anything shut up yeah
00:08:32
just shut up and go to jail yeah okay um the subject line of this one is my mom tried her
00:08:37
hand at vigilantism light-hearted hello to lighten up these quarantine times i've got a story for you
00:08:44
that's got all your favorite things 80s moms hot robbers and people staying sexy and not getting
00:08:49
murdered back in the 80s my mom was 20 or 21 working in a bank as a bank teller for a summer
00:08:54
job she'd only been working at the bank for a few months but had already been robbed three times
00:08:59
since the bank wanted to keep everyone safe during the robbery protocol was to just sit quietly and
00:09:05
give the robbers what they wanted and not to alert anyone of the robbery until the robbers had left.
00:09:10
This meant that three times a man had just walked up to my mom, slid a note that said something along
00:09:15
the lines of this is a robbery, give me all your cash, and then casually walked out with the money.
00:09:20
This didn't sit well with my mom, who has a strong sense of right and wrong and doesn't like seeing
00:09:25
people get away with bullshit. One day as my mom was at the teller desk, a very handsome man walked
00:09:31
into the bank. My mom was hoping he'd stop at her desk and she was elated when he did. She was over
00:09:37
the moon when he slid his phone number to her across the desk. Imagine her dismay when she
00:09:41
unfolds the paper to see that it wasn't his phone number, but another, this is a robbery note.
00:09:46
My mom gave him the cash and watched him walk out of the bank. But for whatever reason, she decided
00:09:51
she wasn't going to let this robber get away with it. She ran out the door screaming, someone call
00:09:56
the police this man just robbed a bank no she followed him for a few blocks screaming behind him
00:10:01
until he turned around waving a gun at her and said lady you gotta stop or i have to shoot you
00:10:06
needless to say she headed back to the bank and shortly thereafter the police arrived
00:10:11
she gave them a statement and description of the man and while they laughed at her brazenness they
00:10:15
told her under no uncertain circumstances that it was very dumb and she should never chase a bank
00:10:21
robber again. Anyways, I think she quit that job shortly after. But I'd like to think that word
00:10:26
got out about the crazy screaming bank teller and that robberies dropped significantly at that
00:10:31
branch after the incident. Stay sexy and don't risk your life for minimum wage, Paige. Yes,
00:10:37
shout out to my friend Karina. We work together, but I haven't seen her since lockdown and I miss
00:10:41
her terribly. Well, that's nice. Sneaking a shout out at the end. You did the work,
00:10:46
You get the shout out. That's right. Okay. This one's called Message in a Motherfucking Bottle.
00:10:52
Sweet salutations and well wishes. Let's jump right in, shall we? Recently, while talking with my dad, Bob, such a dad name, about interesting things we found on our local beaches, he reminded me of this gem.
00:11:03
While out metal detecting one day, my dad came across a small white pill bottle sticking out from the sand.
00:11:10
He's always been against picking up strange pieces of garbage in public places. It's a good rule.
00:11:15
Yeah. For some odd reason, scooped this baby up. Since the cap was still on, he shook it to see if anything was inside.
00:11:21
He heard what he said sounded like rice rattling and decided to open it. Not only was the rice in there, along with some green herbs,
00:11:28
but there was also a piece of paper with a handwritten message. That's right, y'all, a motherfucking message in a bottle.
00:11:35
After freaking out about it with my stepmom, he took the message to work the next day to see if anyone could decipher it.
00:11:39
You see, the message was written in Spanish, and my dad is a middle-aged white man who doesn't know a lick of Spanish
00:11:44
outside of you are a shithead and other meaningless phrases he learned back in high school.
00:11:50
One co-worker tried to read it but couldn't understand the specific dialect that it was written in.
00:11:55
That when his co Jorge tried to take a stab at it While reading it Jorge started crying He looked up at my dad and said the man who wrote this is from my hometown in Cuba
00:12:05
No! So not only did my dad find a fucking message in a bottle, but the man reading it to my dad is from the same town as its origins?
00:12:13
In today's odds, I would say that's one in a million. The message was written by a man who had been diagnosed with cancer.
00:12:18
He was wishing for good health and prosperity for his family, especially his wife and children, after he could no longer be with them.
00:12:26
Unfortunately, that's all we know of him. There's no way for us to be able to reach out and find any more information.
00:12:31
We're not sure if this man is alive or what happened to him, but I hope he is at peace wherever he is and that his family is faring well.
00:12:38
In times like these, it struck a chord with my heart. So much shit is happening and affecting so many people all around the world.
00:12:43
I want to do exactly what this guy did and send out wishes for good health and prosperity to anyone who may need it and physically help those around me when I can.
00:12:52
Look out for your neighbors and do what you got to do so we can all get through this safely.
00:12:56
Sorry this email was so long, but I just had to share it. Thank you for continuing this podcast and bringing light and laughter during this crisis.
00:13:03
Stay sexy and always pick up the garbage on the beach. You never know what you might find.
00:13:06
Emily in Florida. Oh, that's so good. I love that Jorge is all touched. And like that, what are the odds of that coincidence?
00:13:19
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00:15:32
This last one is like an update line. So remember when we talked about the light bulb burglar that was going up to people's,
00:15:38
and that was like in Sacramento, going into people's forches and stealing their light bulbs?
00:15:42
Yes. So we got an update. Okay. Hello, ladies. I was doing the dishes and listening to the latest mini-sode when you read the story of
00:15:49
the light bulb burglar in Sacramento. I grew up in Sacramento and most of my family still lives there.
00:15:53
When I heard the email about the light bulb burglar, I had to sit down and write immediately.
00:15:58
My cousin is one of those very smart, very clueless people who can make two plus two equal five with some mad shit,
00:16:05
but doesn't have the common sense to not open the door to a stranger at 1230 at night.
00:16:10
My cousin lives in South Sacramento in a house with two other single women in their 20s and two giant chocolate labs.
00:16:16
Thank God. One night last year, she heard some rustling on the front porch and the dogs began the low growl.
00:16:23
that big dogs make. So my sweet, clueless cousin goes to the door and looks out the people to see a mid-20s man
00:16:30
unscrewing her porch light. This is where a normal person would call the cops, but not her.
00:16:35
What does she do? She opens the door. No. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Luckily, this screen was still shut and locked.
00:16:45
With the two dogs growling behind her, she asked him what he was doing. He froze and then stammered that he was out of light bulb.
00:16:52
So my genius cousin told him she needed that one on her porch, but she had more.
00:16:59
She went and got him one, opened this green door, and gave him a light bulb. He said thank you and left.
00:17:06
It wasn't until he had gone that she realized how badly things could have gone. The rest of the family is just glad that she has those big, scary-sounding dogs, Michelle.
00:17:16
P.S. I was born in Sacramento in the late 80s, and my parents grew up here in the 60s and 70s.
00:17:21
It wasn't until I began listening to your podcast that I truly began to understand the paranoias and quirks that my parents have regarding deadbolts and sticks and windows.
00:17:31
Turns out that they have they must have some very justified PTSD from growing up in the heyday of Sacramento serial killers.
00:17:38
Yeah. So the light bulb thing, I was going to say to a bunch of people commented and said that that's actually some people who are burglars will ahead a couple days ahead of time, take the light bulb out, then come back in the dark and burglarize the place.
00:17:52
So that's another reason they do it. Burglars or you know people that like to slit your throat I mean there all kinds of reasons to get rid of the light I can believe she gave him light bulbs
00:18:05
Hold on one second. You're stealing from me. Let me help you steal. Do you like a soft white or do you like a brighter bulb?
00:18:12
Look, I've got 60. I've got 70 watt, but we can go down. I have a beautiful pink 20 watt bulb.
00:18:18
Is it for outdoors? Because is it for the bedroom? Is it for your murder room? Okay, this one's called Spooky Halloween in May.
00:18:27
Hey there, a few months ago, my grandpa passed away. And while thinking about him, I remembered this ghost story that he told us about a few years ago.
00:18:34
And I thought I would share. My grandpa was a 99 year old World War Two veteran who survived to see an entire century 1920 to 2020.
00:18:42
He could make friends with anyone and was also the most flirtatious man I've ever met.
00:18:46
A few years before he died, my parents and I took an excursion to his hometown so he could show us the house he grew up in,
00:18:52
where he went to school and visit his parents gravestones a few nights before we left on this
00:18:56
trip he had a strange dream apparently when he was in high school a girl at a school was killed
00:19:01
in a car accident he knew her the way everyone knows everyone in a small town high school this
00:19:06
girl appeared to him in his dream and asked him to visit her grave site her parents were long gone
00:19:11
and she told him that no one had visited her grave in years and that she was lonely the next morning
00:19:15
he told my mom that this girl had what this girl had said and asked if he could go see her grave
00:19:20
when he visited the cemetery. My mom agreed and proceeded to contact the cemetery
00:19:24
to see if they had a map of sorts with the plot names. My grandpa told her that it wasn't necessary
00:19:29
because he knew where she was buried. My mom asked him to clarify since he said he barely knew her.
00:19:35
And he told her that the girl in the dream had given instructions to her burial site.
00:19:39
She had described her headstone and given him landmarks in the cemetery to be able to find her.
00:19:44
Long story short, after we arrived at the cemetery and went to his parents' headstone,
00:19:48
my grandpa proceeded to walk almost directly over to where this girl's headstone was located.
00:19:54
He stood there for a minute and said a prayer for her, and then we left. To think that poor girl contacted my grandpa to ask him to visit her
00:20:00
because there wasn't really anyone else alive who could remember her? Wild. Before I close this out, I want to give a special shout out to all morgue and funeral home employees.
00:20:09
They're essential employees who are being directly exposed to COVID-19 every single day.
00:20:14
When COVID patients die, they are sent to morgues or directly to funeral homes, and those employees have to either cremate or embalm the deceased while potentially being exposed.
00:20:23
They also have to figure out how to arrange funeral services with the family members
00:20:26
to let them properly grieve their loved ones without endangering themselves or anyone attending.
00:20:30
Many funeral homes are refusing COVID cases because of the risks, so small family funeral homes like the one my mom has worked at for almost 15 years are being overwhelmed.
00:20:40
My mom is a super badass and is being so cautious to protect herself and others while doing her absolute best to make sure that families are being able to say proper goodbyes to their loved ones.
00:20:49
She's truly the best and makes me so proud to be her daughter. Happy Mother's Day.
00:20:53
Thanks for all you guys do. SSDGM, Claire. I love that. That's awesome. That's the kind of job that people aren't talking about that's just as definitely essential.
00:21:03
Yeah. But again, it's death, so no one wants to talk about it. People act like there's the stigma.
00:21:08
But yeah, thank you to all funeral home workers, people. And then what an overwhelming situation and position to be in to work in that.
00:21:19
Must be so scary. You have to be so brave even if you're you don't want to be. Yeah.
00:21:24
I can't imagine. I just found out my cousin, Annie Galindo, is that she intubates people for a living.
00:21:31
She's an anesthesiologist, but she also lives in intubation. So she is completely, completely on the front lines.
00:21:40
And she's always been a badass. used to be she's amazing i love my cousin annie so shout out to her too i mean incredible
00:21:48
everybody doing everything and fighting out there for us so we're so grateful thanks you guys send
00:21:55
us your stories whatever they may be to my favorite murder at gmail or on our website or
00:21:59
wherever yay and happy birthday karen thanks georgia um it's gonna be another great 50 i can't
00:22:07
leave my fucking 50 we're gonna have the biggest party this summer oh my god we're gonna have the
00:22:12
best party it's gonna you know what we should do is go to the um island where they tried to have
00:22:18
the fire fest and we're going to make it like what they tried to make it yes ham sandwiches
00:22:24
cheetahs of course instagram models of all various sorts we'll get all those four loco
00:22:32
sponsor it oh my god yeah everybody let's do it we're all invited but um it's gonna be we're gonna
00:22:40
have to put a pin in sending the invitation yeah until you know until people can stop um
00:22:47
going out and not wearing masks and pretending that that's their choice it's so crazy
00:22:53
it's so crazy someone tweeted today that they saw they reopened the trails and like the hiking
00:23:00
things around los angeles because you can socially distance and there was two joggers not wearing
00:23:04
masks and there was a for like a forestry like a ranger standing there going hey you need to and
00:23:10
they both flip them off as they jogged by fuck those guys fuck those guys and you know that's
00:23:16
the kind of people who aren't wearing masks is the people who will flip off a fucking park ranger
00:23:21
well because they believe that they don't have like if they feel like they're fine then they
00:23:26
don't have to which isn't the point you guys the point is not to spread it in case you have it to
00:23:31
other people and you don't know if you're an asymptomatic carrier right it's very simple
00:23:36
can i just have this one thing do it for karen's freaking out because steven's freaking out because we keep talking over each other oh really he's like no no i'm
00:23:46
i'm i was i went to target today and it's just like lines around the block like today right now
00:23:51
is the worst time to go anywhere if you can stay home right now. Because people who now think things are open and normal again are wearing –
00:24:00
masks and just acting like it's normal walking to target or walk into a place and then just pull
00:24:04
their mask off as if all of a sudden it's yeah what we need to do is keep the parking lot safe
00:24:11
thank you yeah good job the air feel free inside the store well you know what it is though this is
00:24:17
like such high level denial because there are some people that are so scared of this that what
00:24:22
they're saying is it's not really happening yeah and they need they need to go out and scream at
00:24:26
people and use their anger to defend when actually they're just going, I'm so scared. I don't know
00:24:31
what to do with myself. That's a good point. Yeah. So it definitely attacks people.
00:24:37
For your birthday. For Kara's birthday. For my birthday. Oh my God. What if it's like,
00:24:42
I start the purge. I start the purge against non-masked people. Oh no. It's not your choice.
00:24:50
That's my only point. Don't hurt anybody. Don't even say anything to them because that's what
00:24:54
They want a lot of those people that do that. It's like they go out. Yeah. Say something to me.
00:24:59
And it's like, you know, you're saying it to yourself. You're saying it without saying a word.
00:25:05
You're lonely and scared is the one thing I would say. But don't even say that. All right.
00:25:11
Anyway. Yeah. It's crazy. We have to process this somehow. Crazy time. But thank you for all your stories and support systems.
00:25:21
And we love you. Yes. Stay strong and stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye.
00:25:29
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Shop in-store or online now through July 5th. Terms and conditions apply. See Pandora.net for more details.
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Goodbye. Summer is all about saying yes, going out, and bringing the mess home in your car.
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Sand, grass, and melting snacks will inevitably hit your ride. But with WeatherTech, you can live life to the fullest.
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WeatherTech floor liners, cargo liner, and seat protectors allow you to keep up with your summer adventures without the worry.
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WeatherTech is an American-made premium product built to last and easy to clean.
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If you're going all out this summer, you need WeatherTech. Visit WeatherTech.com today.
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Goodbye. Clothes shopping, not as easy or fun as it sounds. You just want to feel confident in your clothes.
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You can spend hours scrolling, zooming in, reading reviews, only to end up with a cart full of nothing that feels or fits right and a bunch of returns to do.
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Stitch Fix makes it so much easier. A personal stylist sends pieces that match your size, style, and everything's in your budget.
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No guesswork, no stress, and your guaranteed compliments. Here's how Stitch Fix works.
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Take a quick style quiz, share your size, style, and budget, and get matched with a real human stylist who gets your vibe.
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It's no risk, all style. Get a personalized fix box straight to your door. and try it all on in the comfort of your home.
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Shipping and returns are always free and there's no subscription required. Plus, get a free try-on for your first fix.
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Get started today at stitchfix.com slash murder to get $20 off your first order.
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That's stitchfix.com slash murder. Goodbye.