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00:01:48
Own the dream. My favorite murder Hello! Hello! And welcome to My Favorite Murder, the Minisoad episode.
00:02:09
How you doing, Minisoad episode? How you, girl? That looks great on you, whatever it is.
00:02:14
Oh my god, I'm so glad you changed into that. What a fun color. Athleisure wear.
00:02:21
Wow. What a great terrycloth sweatsuit that is. I didn't know they made that color jade.
00:02:27
Now, why did they just write butt on the butt? Is that the new thing? Yeah, we know it's the butt.
00:02:33
It's not like this is our first experience with butts just because you're wearing those sweatpants.
00:02:38
I do like that style of calligraphy, though. What do we feel like? Kind of like an old gothic font that says butt.
00:02:46
Old gothic butt, yeah. But with three Ts, that's my new athleisure wear. Make it happen.
00:02:51
but um this is a minisope we read you your stories karen you want to go first i do i want to go first
00:02:57
all the time in every situation good because i don't i always want to go second here let me step
00:03:04
forward and talk in a loud voice this is entitled hometown story greetings i remember hearing this
00:03:11
story from my hometown between buffalo and rochester new york from the time i was in
00:03:15
elementary school my parents best friend was a sheriff who apparently didn't filter his stories
00:03:19
around children. I was finally inspired to look it up after listening to dozens of hometowns in
00:03:24
your podcast. That has been getting me through this pandemic. Anyway, here's the story. In 1987,
00:03:30
the police were called to a domestic where a man named Joe Shlum was threatening to kill his
00:03:34
girlfriend and her two kids. He had a pillow over the face of a newborn and the knife to the baby's
00:03:40
chest and wasn't following orders from the responding officer to drop both items. The
00:03:45
officer said after the fact he was right about to shoot him because the baby was dying when joe
00:03:51
finally did drop both and was arrested when they began questioning him he admitted that he'd murdered
00:03:56
a woman they initially didn't believe him they weren't missing any per there weren't any missing
00:04:01
persons cases open at the time but when they searched the name of the woman pam smith they
00:04:07
found that she'd missed a court date a few years before and began to believe him he explained that
00:04:12
He'd hit her in the head with a rock and strangled her with a cord and then buried her under the floorboards of the friendly motel.
00:04:19
When they went to the motel, he showed them the room. He stepped on the floorboards to prove they made a squeaking sound.
00:04:25
And sure enough, she was under the motel floorboards. Fuck, this sounds like a book.
00:04:30
I know. Crazy. He was sentenced to 17 years to life at Auburn State Prison and has since died in prison.
00:04:37
I believe her family never reported her missing because they thought she'd gone to Texas.
00:04:42
I'm sure you're wondering, how did no one notice the smell? Well, the motel owner explained that he'd assumed the resident boa constrictor had gotten loose and somehow produced the exact smell of a body decaying.
00:04:57
Totally normal. I'd always heard that this story had happened on prom night, but since he was 25 and he killed her when she was 19, then I think that was an embellishment.
00:05:07
It's crazy to think that if the officer had shot Joe, they may never have found Pam.
00:05:12
Anyway, thanks for all you do. It's nice to hear other voices besides your husband's during quarantine every now and again, even if you love him very much.
00:05:20
Stay sexy and stay away from those empty side of the road motels because there is a body under the floorboards.
00:05:26
Rebecca. That has everything. That has everything. That's crazy. I think we can we can we get behind stopping the the what's not the process of not believing someone when they said that they killed someone and being like, well, we don't have anyone missing around in this fucking neck of the woods.
00:05:46
Well, there's no there's no hungry boa constrictors anywhere near here. So what?
00:05:50
There hasn't been a missing woman around here. That rationale is like you definitely That that like I don want to do any more old boa constrictor excuse Yeah So this one just called Small Town Hello ladies
00:06:05
I've been meaning to get this story down for a while, and you've given me the perfect reason to get it done.
00:06:09
I work at a nursery and spend many hours of my day alone, so I usually bring you with me.
00:06:13
And thank you, by the way. You're fucking hilarious. So here's my story. When I was five, I was in daycare with my siblings at my, quote, Aunt Judy's house.
00:06:22
She was no real relation, just a close friend. Everyone's an aunt. Anyway, she watched quite a few kids, and one of them was her husband's nephew.
00:06:30
He always brought a yellow duffel bag full of toy guns. One day, we were playing by the pool while Judy was in the house on one of her incredibly long phone calls.
00:06:39
The nephew told me to kiss him, and I refused. He kept bugging me, and I eventually gave him the five-year-old version of go fuck yourself, pal.
00:06:47
at which point he got upset and pulled his dad's pearl-handled .22 caliber pistol
00:06:53
out of the yellow duffel bag and put it up to my forehead. These kids are five, by the way.
00:07:01
My older sister saw this all go down and ran into the house screaming for help, and my, quote, aunt proceeded to chew her ass out for interrupting her.
00:07:10
This sounds like something that could have happened in either of her childhoods, right?
00:07:13
It absolutely did happen in mine. Meanwhile, standard fair moms on phone behavior.
00:07:18
Moms on phone. You're in. You might not survive this. Meanwhile, outside, I am still refusing to kiss the little creep.
00:07:26
And my sister comes back out just in time to watch him pull the trigger. The gun was loaded and it and it did fire.
00:07:35
The only reason I'm alive is because the bullet jammed in the chamber. Needless to say, the sound of the gun got that bitch off her phone.
00:07:44
aunt judy my mother somehow managed not to beat her up and the kid moved to california
00:07:52
that week with his family oh jesus yeah they're out of there i believe i heard a rumor a couple
00:07:57
years later that he ended up killing his younger brother no i won't include the details fortunately
00:08:03
for me i blocked the entire incident out and have no recollection of it at all however my poor sister
00:08:09
was never the same afterwards of course not stay sexy and keep your guns locked the fuck up
00:08:14
crystal. I mean, that is cautionary tale after cautionary fucking tale. I really wanted that to be that that was just like a little kid messing around and he didn't
00:08:23
know the difference. And the idea that he went on to hurt another kid is so horrible.
00:08:28
Well, he might not have. And it's clear that if he if that's what was going on with him,
00:08:33
there was something going on at home. You know what I mean? In my mind, in my estimation,
00:08:37
if you are a little kid carrying a bag of guns around with you and and putting it to someone's
00:08:42
and pulling the trigger is like retaliation for not kissing you on the lips is like, ooh.
00:08:49
Yeah. He's mimicking that from somewhere. He's mimicking something. That's been taught.
00:08:53
Yeah. Yeah. No, it's heavy. It's horrible. That's what this podcast is. Heavy. Horrible.
00:08:59
Let's get heavier and horribler. And the subject line of this email is, since you mentioned John List, hello all.
00:09:07
I was listening to your most recent episode, Small Bigfoot, and my ears perked up when you
00:09:11
mentioned John List for two particular reasons. Reason number one, since I have no self-control
00:09:16
and listen to podcasts in completely random order, I was so pleased and excited to hear that you
00:09:21
actually did cover John List. Turns out I've just been too lazy to scroll all the way down to
00:09:27
anything under episode 50. Reason number two, a lovely receptionist at my job has a crazy
00:09:32
connection to that hometown murder. Listen to the Conan O'Brien episode too. There's some John List
00:09:38
tidbits in that that we did? I work in an orthodontic office and Thursdays we don't have
00:09:44
patients. We just clean and catch up on all administrative things. So typically I put my
00:09:50
headphones in and listen to my true crime podcasts all day. One day I look over at our receptionist,
00:09:55
we'll call her Marie, and asked if she had any interesting true crime stories and man did she
00:09:59
ever. She grew up in New Jersey right across the river from the John List home. I believe she told
00:10:05
me that she was eight years old when the talk of the neighborhood was the slaughter of the list
00:10:09
family she proceeded to give great detail about the murder and how he got away with his senseless
00:10:14
crime she even told me that at the time it scared her so much she would even ask her dad from time
00:10:20
to time to please not kill her family and sorry am i not supposed to laugh at that uh i mean it's
00:10:28
like it's terrible but it sounds like something i would have done okay entirely you're like if this
00:10:33
would sway you at all. I just want you to know I don't want you to do this. Right. Right. I could hear myself as a kid saying that to my sweet dad. Please don't
00:10:42
murder us. Sure. I used to ask my parents like once a week, are they getting divorced?
00:10:47
And that weird wildfire of early 80s divorces were just like all of a sudden, 75% of your
00:10:53
friends' parents were getting divorced. And I just would go like every night at dinner,
00:10:56
just be like, seriously, are you guys getting divorced? I don't want to be surprised by this. That's the worst thing is when they sit you down.
00:11:01
I'm surprised. I've definitely said to Vince, please don't kill me. Just break up with me.
00:11:05
I swear it's fine if you are over it. Break up with me, but just don't kill me. And I'm sure he's horrified by
00:11:13
me. He's just like, okay. Just covering all my bases. It's a deal, Georgia. He shakes your hand very
00:11:19
formally. Sounds good. A promise is a promise. Deet, deet, deet. Then she put in parentheses, poor thing, which is true.
00:11:27
Of course he didn't, and she grew up to be very kind and spunky so luckily it didn't traumatize her here's the wild part marie went
00:11:35
on with life marie went on with her life she moved to virginia and started a family with her husband
00:11:40
one day nearly 18 years later she sat down to watch the news lo and behold john list who
00:11:47
slaughtered his whole family just down the street from maria 18 years ago had been apprehended
00:11:52
just two miles down the street from her new home in Virginia What are the odds Holy shit Marie of course was shocked She had never thought that he be caught after such a long time let alone right down the street from her new home a few states over
00:12:08
I could not believe my ears at this wild story and had to research it myself. And everything was exactly how she described it to me.
00:12:16
The simple fact that he was caught based off a composite sculpture aged 18 years blows my mind.
00:12:21
But the fact that Marie experienced both a hometown murder and a hometown apprehension of the same annihilator in completely different places surprises me even more.
00:12:31
Anyway, thank you all for everything you do. Stay sexy and try not to move the same town as your hometown murderer, Hannah.
00:12:37
What are the fucking chances? That's crazy, right? Just nuts. Yeah. Wow, I love that.
00:12:43
That's why you got to ask every single person in your life if they have a hometown.
00:12:46
That's a gold star hometown, I would say. For sure. That's really upper echelon.
00:12:51
I think that's up there with chainsawing down telephone poles. I mean, nothing could be better than that, but it's close.
00:13:00
Look, we have another one just called Hometown Story. Dear Georgia, Karen and Stephen, in the spirit of badass grandmother stories, I want to do a corrections corner for a 102 year old bit of family folklore.
00:13:13
It's a tragic story about my grandmother, Mary McGarvey, the oldest of 12 children, born in 1916 in Stark County, Illinois.
00:13:20
She raised five kids on a dairy farm. A detail I remember about her was very rough hands that would snag on the polyester dresses she wore in the 70s.
00:13:30
Oh, yeah. Yeah. And also worked. Yes. And also her writing ring was worn down to a mere thread from years of manual labor.
00:13:39
She wasn't retired long when early onset Alzheimer's set in and we lost about we lost her about 10 years before she actually died.
00:13:46
There's always been an air of sadness about her and much speculation as to the cause.
00:13:50
Some said it was that she'd been engaged to a man who died before she married my grandpa.
00:13:55
My mom thought it was sleep deprivation from milking cows at 4 a.m. for 50 years.
00:14:01
My dad, though, told a story that I thought was very likely at the heart of it. When she was little, she was babysitting her one-year-old brother, Joseph.
00:14:08
He got into some iron tablets and died. The way the story was told implied that she had been responsible and that he had died on her watch.
00:14:16
And it made sense that the guilt of that could be just the thing that might haunt her for the rest of her life.
00:14:20
Recently, I was putting together a scrapbook about our family tree and in visiting a graveyard where my McGarvey family is buried.
00:14:27
I came upon the gravestone of little Joseph. His birth and death dates were 1917 through 1918.
00:14:34
I was shocked. My grandmother was born in 1916, which meant she was only two years old when he died.
00:14:40
Later, I came across the account of his death in the newspaper. It said that Mary had been playing doctor with the iron tablets that belonged to her grandmother, who was a guest in the home.
00:14:49
The fact that this account was written in the small town newspaper forever connecting my grandmother to this tragedy is so wrong.
00:14:57
For my dad to believe that she was, quote, babysitting suggests that in 1918, somebody was looking for somewhere to place the blame.
00:15:03
The version in the newspaper stuck and my poor grandmother had to carry that. The stories of women are missing from history.
00:15:11
Thanks for creating a platform that helps to remedy that. Molly, that's so sad. So they didn't want to blame the grandmother for having iron tablets out.
00:15:18
And so they blamed a two year old who probably was supposed to be babysitting a fucking one year old.
00:15:26
Yeah, no, I think rule of thumb is if you need a babysitter, the babysitter should have already been through at least first grade just for the basics.
00:15:36
You know, standing up and sitting down, right, go into the bathroom where you're supposed to.
00:15:40
It should be a person that's twice as tall as the baby. Right. And then don't print that it was their fault for the baby dying in a fucking local newspaper.
00:15:49
No, you fucking assholes. It's a baby. It's a baby. It's two babies. Why do I have to say two year olds are baby?
00:15:56
Why are you making me call two year old names? Why am I the fucking expert now? Well, everyone knows you're the expert at children.
00:16:04
Okay, so here's the thing. When they're laying down, that's like a super baby. And then that is, I'd say zero super baby.
00:16:11
Then zero to two is baby. Okay. Okay. And then two to four. That's like a big baby.
00:16:18
Big baby. Yeah. And then once you get in those little white shoes with the laces, then then we can start talking about practicing babysitting.
00:16:27
Okay. But not until like five or six. The thought of like my sister letting my four and a half year old nephew babysit my one year old nephew.
00:16:35
Can you imagine? There'd be Cheerios everywhere. Just mayhem. Cheerios. I mean, that is the weird thing, too, is also why back then when there was cocaine in Coca-Cola, are they it's like maybe that means there shouldn't be iron pills available to people that freely if a baby could get into them.
00:16:58
And then I think that the two words that are the thank God part of this all are childproof.
00:17:03
Is that one word or two words? I'd say it's one. Yes. Or a hyphenate. Then I'm going to put an amen at the end of it.
00:17:10
So it's two words. Childproof. Amen. Amen, baby. Literally. Super baby. Amen, super baby.
00:17:17
You did it, super baby. Okay. How uncomfortable, like those two babies on a couch staring at each other like, sorry,
00:17:24
who's the babysitter? Is it you? Are you in charge? Do I have to ask you for my bottle or am I supposed to get yours?
00:17:32
I want juice. Do you want juice too? I have this craving for juice. Pirate's booty?
00:17:37
Oh, no, that's right. You can't. You have no teeth in your mouth. You can't have any of these things.
00:17:41
You're a super baby. You're a super baby. Bro, from the show last night to this drive, why is it never chill?
00:17:49
Because this is our life. Backstage, on the road, it's loud, messy, real. And that the best part Whole crew no plan just moving Good thing Nissan builds for that kind of chaos not just test tracks real life scenes late nights road trips all of it that why it holds up nissan
00:18:07
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00:18:13
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00:18:20
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00:18:28
Hey everyone, it's Cal Penn, host of Earsay, the Audible and iHeart audiobook club. This week on
00:18:33
the podcast, I'm sitting down with Divergent author Veronica Roth to talk about her sprawling
00:18:38
new novel, Seek the Traitor's Son. It's a sci-fi fantasy epic about two protagonists on opposite
00:18:44
sides of a war and a prophecy neither of them wanted. My first book was Divergent. And when
00:18:50
that came out, like, because it was so popular, I think it attracted like mostly positivity,
00:18:55
but the negativity I sucked in like a sponge. And I think it was like critiques of things I
00:19:02
liked when I was like, you know, I was 23 and I wrote this book and it had all my like dorky
00:19:06
little cheesy or maybe unrealistic loves in it. And I started to feel a lot of shame about those
00:19:13
things. And so for the rest of my career, I steered away from those little things that like
00:19:20
make you feel pleasure when you read. But I also was like saying no to these parts of myself that
00:19:27
I then was like, screw it. So that's this book. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart
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00:20:40
Okay, ready for the last one? Yeah. This is a perf story. Lighthearted. Hi, I'm one of the 14-year-olds you sometimes shout out.
00:20:51
What's up? 14-year-old super duper baby. What's up? Super baby. Yep. That's what we call 14-year-olds giant babies.
00:21:00
Hi. Okay, this is a really good story. So I live in a very small town in North Dakota.
00:21:05
Yes, North Dakota, where the most notable thing about my town is we have more funeral homes than grocery stores.
00:21:12
You would not believe how many middle-aged people come here to die. Sweetheart, stop calling 30-year-olds middle-aged people.
00:21:22
I am advanced age, fun. Oh, wait, in parentheses, it says not fun middle-aged people like you, conservatives.
00:21:33
Okay, anywho, you're not here for the life story of a young murderino. You came for a pervert story.
00:21:39
I'm a cashier at one of the two grocery stores in my wonderful town. 14-year-old grocery store cashier.
00:21:45
Yes, girl, get out there in the workforce. We used to have a man who came in about three times a week, ready to give weird compliments to all of our underaged workers.
00:21:54
Now, I work in customer service where stuff like this is commonplace. the reason these compliments were notable is that every single one was mouth oriented
00:22:04
mouth oriented or maybe the two creepiest words i've ever heard together we're not
00:22:11
we're not going in a good direction with this yep you read that correctly this man
00:22:16
we'll call him dave would come in and compliment our teeth lips and fucking tongue
00:22:21
i can't make this shit up of course this guy was reported to our boss but here's the thing
00:22:27
about small town north dakota no one thinks anything is weird unless something physical
00:22:32
happens and unluckily for me the 14 year old being weirded out by compliments didn't make the cut
00:22:37
which is incorrect after months of reporting this guy he was finally kicked out of the store
00:22:43
not because of all the complaints but because this happened i was a normal it was a normal
00:22:49
work day i was restocking graham crackers in one of the aisles when old dave comes up behind me
00:22:54
breathing like he was about to jizz his pants. 14 years old. But listen, this is her story and she gets to tell it.
00:23:02
She is. She does. And she's doing it. And she's doing an amazing job. Now, I forgot to mention, but I'm 5'1 and 97 pounds.
00:23:10
So this guy could easily overpower me. So I'm shitting myself. And this guy goes, your teeth are so white.
00:23:15
What products do you use? I gave a short laugh in my customer service voice and said something about Crest toothpaste.
00:23:22
he's shooting back a nice wow and he all caps sticks his fucking hand in my mouth
00:23:31
this grubby old man stuck his hand in my mouth and felt my teeth what the fuck the fuck i cannot
00:23:39
describe the wave of terror and shock that went through my body keep in mind this was during the
00:23:43
first stages of corona when we when we were all scared but it wasn't in america yet so naturally
00:23:49
my sixth grade self-defense class kicked in and i shoved my knuckle into that motherfucker's eye
00:23:54
and ran yeah anyway this is why i don't fuck with straight dudes aiden Aiden. Shit.
00:24:04
I'm so sorry. If it's she, her, they, that, do we know? She, her in parentheses underneath.
00:24:10
Oh, thank you. Yeah. Do not stick your hand in someone's mouth hole. Like, how is that not just a known fucking rule of life?
00:24:20
Well, here's all I have to say. Yeah. Going through that, you know, Aiden has upped her mouthwash game probably three times a day.
00:24:27
And because of that, she'll have perfect teeth and gums for the rest of her life.
00:24:30
The funny thing, too, to me is asking a 14 year old how their teeth are so white.
00:24:34
And it's like because they're 14 and they haven't gotten into a coffee addiction and a wine addiction yet.
00:24:39
Yes, it's because they're exactly a child. They haven't chipped both their front teeth on beer bottles at Lake Tahoe like old Karen did.
00:24:48
No, they're just living their clean cut lives, their clean teeth lifestyle. South Dakota, right?
00:24:54
Oh, Aiden. that story is disturbing but I love that you told us that means that you're not
00:24:59
still that upset about it you can be as upset as you want and you're smart and you know you can handle yourself
00:25:04
Karen I've always noticed about you you have a beautiful tongue what if someone said that to you
00:25:10
you never noticed about you if anyone's talking to you about your tongue and you haven't been dating for three months
00:25:18
men's you gotta walk and then ask if you are dating and they're talking about your tongue
00:25:22
it's still kind of fishy then you alert a phone tree of your friends to say this was actually a point of discussion
00:25:31
keep your eye on me you know i got my tongue pierced when i was hurt when i was 13 in 1995
00:25:37
i got my tongue pierced did it hurt so bad no it doesn't hurt at all oh nipples hurt okay
00:25:42
but what happened did you unplug did you take it out oh god yeah i mean that that the 90s Remember tongue piercings were cool Yes I do And eyebrow piercing Yeah All the rage
00:25:57
Just have a guy with a ring sitting on his eyebrow. Awesome. So hot. And a bowling shirt.
00:26:02
Sweet. So hot. And like, hates you so much. And he's wearing creepers. Remember creepers?
00:26:08
Yeah. And he's mad about pavement. He's mad about you not knowing enough about pavement.
00:26:12
Yeah. Yeah. Asshole. Rodney. That guy Rodney. Okay. This one's called A Little Spooky.
00:26:19
Very lighthearted. Hi, all. Love your work. I'm just an average 21-year-old forensic science student from Sydney, Australia, coming at
00:26:27
you with a fun little spooky. And that's a bunch of O's and some are uppercase and some are lowercase, you know?
00:26:33
So it says spooky. Amazing. Coming at you with a fun story that I borrowed from my brother.
00:26:39
For a little context, my older brother is 22 and his friends have a somewhat odd obsession
00:26:44
with torches, better known as flashlights for you Americans. And many of them own their own crazy powerful torch.
00:26:52
Amongst some other features, many of their torches have a strobe function. Think rave.
00:26:57
I always do. One night after getting together amongst friends, my brother and his friends piled into a car
00:27:02
to drive home around 2 a.m. While on their way home, my brother noticed what appeared to be a ghost in a white nightgown.
00:27:10
They continued on driving for a short while. However, my brother insisted that they had just witnessed a paranormal paranormal being.
00:27:17
And so they decided it would be funny to turn around to find this ghost and strobe it with their torches.
00:27:22
Fortunately, by the time they reached this poor old lady in her nightgown who was attempting to wave down the few cars that had passed her by, they had already had changed change of heart and decided against strobing her.
00:27:33
Good idea. It turned out that this lovely lady Barbara has dementia and accidentally wandered out of her house in the middle of the night unbeknownst to her sleeping husband Oh nightmare The boys who now dub themselves Barber Boys found her place of residence from her identification
00:27:50
Thank God she had brought her handbag with her and delivered her safely home. Her husband, who she unfortunately did not recognize when she was returned home, had not yet realized that she was gone.
00:28:00
It is comforting to know that there are still lovely young men out there looking out for our society's most vulnerable.
00:28:06
I've used her name with the assumption that she does not listen to this podcast.
00:28:10
However, if she does, hi, Barbara. We can only hope that the good days outweigh the bad and that she and her family are doing as well as possible during this time.
00:28:18
Stay sexy and don't stroke poor old women with flashlights. M. Yeah. That was as lighthearted as I expected it to be when I put it last.
00:28:27
Well, I do like the, you know, the sentiment of it, which is there's good people out there.
00:28:31
I mean, that's it's such a common thing, too, and so horrible. But that thing of people with dementia wandering, they get very restless and they want to go walk.
00:28:40
So it's very common. And yeah, it's it's scarier than if it were something paranormal because it's horrible.
00:28:48
It's real. Yeah. Send us your paranormal or non-paranormal or flashlight related or whatever.
00:28:55
14 year old tongue stories. Yes. Or tell us how you get your teeth so white. They look great.
00:29:00
And also, I love this idea of people discovering something their co-worker did or they're making their co-worker tell them stuff.
00:29:08
We're all on Zoom calls these days, and they can be very dull. Don't be afraid to just throw anything out there asking people about themselves.
00:29:16
We all love to talk about ourselves. We do, and we love to hear about yourselves.
00:29:20
You can send them to MyFavoriteMurder at Gmail or on our website, wherever. And stay sexy and don't get murdered.
00:29:27
Goodbye. Elvis do you want a cookie Why is it always chaos when we link up Because nobody plans anything bro good thing the rug ready like that for real rain dirt whatever available all drive five modes we still
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outside and they got some kick too that turbo torque is crazy the most in its class it moves
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moves rogue doesn't mess around and peep the space merch on merch gear mics all the fits load up we
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out. 2026 Nissan Rogue, built for all of it. Auto Pacific Segmentation, 2026 Rogue versus latest
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