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00:01:22
Goodbye. My favorite murder in a pandemic. What's up? You know, I think just a lot
00:02:02
of escapism. I think, welcome to your podcast world. You've put your earbuds in.
00:02:08
Your earbuds in. You've put your, what do you call it? Your Beats by Dre. Beats by Dre is on your head.
00:02:15
That's right. Your 99 cent store cancer causing earphones that you just put in there that disintegrates.
00:02:22
There's some leftover ones your mom got for free at the bank for opening a checking
00:02:25
account that one weekend. Throw them in. You're in. Plug them in. Or maybe you're in your shower and you have your
00:02:31
shower radio on. Oh, you lucky. How'd you get so rich, Mrs. Brookstone? Oh, Richie Rich over here. I guess you can listen to music
00:02:40
in the shower. Enjoy. This feels like the, it's almost like podcasts are the new escape
00:02:47
rooms because you can't go to escape rooms anymore. It's like the world is an escape room. That's right. And podcast is one of the, is a
00:02:55
puzzle piece. Yes, this is hidden. This particular episode, the keys to it are hidden in a fake book
00:03:03
that's up on a shelf way in the corner. That's right. But what book? You don't know.
00:03:07
You have to solve this other thing first to figure it out. You have to remember high school
00:03:11
geometry to solve this clue to get to that thing. Sorry, I can't. And now I'm mad and offended. That's right. So the one
00:03:17
guy in the group who knows everything and everyone else goes, oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's right.
00:03:21
And pretends that they know it, too. I don't know. I've actually never been in an escape room before.
00:03:25
I would love to go into an escape room and figure out who I know that. Well, you already know the answer.
00:03:32
And I'm sure the answer in my group of friends is me. But who the dominant psycho is?
00:03:36
Because there are people who get into group situations and they can't not group manage because they had bad things happen in their childhood where nobody was in charge.
00:03:46
Right. So they can't let a moment go by where that's not being produced and managed in some way.
00:03:51
I'll be that person if no one else is. Yes. Which I think is makes me that person.
00:03:57
But like I did get invited to an escape room once with someone that I was like, no, I don't want to be in a room with that person.
00:04:04
He's going to take control and it's not going to be fun for anyone else. Like I just fucking knew he's a great guy to have drinks with or whatever.
00:04:10
But like, no, it's the funniest thing when you when the mask comes off in the escape room and you see what people who can or cannot handle.
00:04:19
Like it's like this is no longer just a conceptual theory idea of a room. Yeah, this is now you and your dad and the old football problem from sophomore year.
00:04:29
You're going to solve it in your 30s in front of everybody. I am the person. This is my character in it.
00:04:35
And within three minutes, I give up and want to go get drinks and I'm fucking over it and
00:04:41
might have a panic attack because I'm locked in a room. Yeah. So I'm so much. I'm so much fun.
00:04:46
So much fun. Mine is I hang back. People begin to take over and then I get mad at how bad they've taken over.
00:04:54
over and so now I'm in a bad mood I'm being sarcastic and then I take over yeah okay as long
00:04:59
as you add something as long as you don't get mad and then don't add something to the
00:05:02
as long as you bring some anger to the table right that's right it's this is the spice of
00:05:08
my personality which is we could all just be standing around in a room laughing and trying
00:05:12
to make it work I'm going to bring in the um dysfunctional family thanksgiving vibe where
00:05:18
suddenly people aren't talking to each other. There's real drama. Because why if it's, it can't just be an
00:05:26
escape room. This should also be a psychological gauntlet. Is it like a game night? Are you like that on game nights too?
00:05:32
No, I love game night. Game night I just laugh and try to learn. I try to be cash, but I'm definitely trying to win.
00:05:40
What's the point of not trying to win? Remember the time we played over Zoom? We had a game. We were
00:05:46
like trying out games. And I drew on my phone with my finger, drew a picture of Thanksgiving dinner.
00:05:53
So accurately, it blew everyone mind It was unfair The games we played we kind of were just doing experiment and we played a bunch of games And like you were so good at them And yeah the drawings you could make with your finger on your fucking phone But I never known that about myself It was almost
00:06:08
like, I just wanted so badly to prove myself like, I'm good at things and worth your time.
00:06:15
I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. Because I was straight up stick figure. You can't even tell
00:06:19
It's in like the hair stick, stick figure hair. Which is the fun of those types of games.
00:06:25
It wasn't fun for me. Pictionary you don't enjoy. I think it's hilarious when it's like you're under the gun.
00:06:31
What's what's going to come out? You know what I mean? I like the game. I just don't like seeing how poor, how poorly I perform at them.
00:06:38
But it's fine. I understand that. I'm fine with it. I understand that. So why don't you?
00:06:41
What I'm saying is buckle down and draw Thanksgiving really accurately. Try it. Try it at home.
00:06:46
I don't know how that happened. Everyone, try it at home. It's harder than you think it is.
00:06:50
Try just draw the concept of Thanksgiving. You have like 35 seconds. Text it to a friend and say, what is this?
00:06:58
What is this to you? Yeah. Because somehow all of a sudden my brain and my finger and everything connected and out
00:07:05
came the most perfectly shaped turkey on the planet. I think it even had the little frill feet.
00:07:10
You know, they put the little frill shoes on that look like chef's hats. That's how fucking detailed it was.
00:07:16
I was into I really just wanted. I don't know. I think that my self-esteem issues.
00:07:23
That's how it comes up. That's how I choose to prove myself. Some people go to the gym every day.
00:07:27
Somebody some people do a lot of leg lifts. I save it and I save it and I save it until I have to draw a picture of Thanksgiving.
00:07:34
There is a time when Vince and I were just like doing competition Uno games constantly.
00:07:39
Remember when we were on tour and I just started bringing Uno with me. Yeah, you were into it.
00:07:44
It was fun. It was. I don't know why we haven't done that. this. We've got to get back into it. Oh, I do.
00:07:48
COVID quarantine. All of our lives have been like ruined. You guys have been doing cocaine.
00:07:55
Cocaine together. What you got? What are you watching? What are you reading? What are you eating?
00:08:01
Let's see. I did very healthy eating yesterday because I, over the weekend, had a dip
00:08:08
of bad eating that made me feel so terrible. I was like, okay, you're too old to do this, and
00:08:15
there's a pandemic that everyone's health is at risk. So what are you fucking around with?
00:08:21
Stop fucking around. I've been getting better over quarantine, but then there was like three steps back where I just
00:08:30
went. It made me feel so terrible that I got my act back together. Me too. And mine was Panda
00:08:35
Express and McDonald's. I was just like, how has it been? It's been almost a year since I've had McDonald's.
00:08:44
there's spicy chicken nuggets now what and so one night just had to had to yeah i wonder if i got my
00:08:51
mcdonald's idea from your you telling me about your mcdonald's idea probably because i remember
00:08:56
you you're telling me but you did it and then it was just kind of like it happened i did it and then
00:09:03
it was like the it was like a it was like chutes and ladders where it was like a straight downward
00:09:10
She went right down, just back to square one. Oh, God. It felt bad. Yeah. Suddenly you're off the board.
00:09:16
You're not even at square one anymore. You're just in the toilet. You kicked the board and you made all the pieces go everywhere.
00:09:23
No one can find any pieces. No one wants to play games anymore. That's how it felt.
00:09:28
How were you? It was good while it was happening, though. I'm good. Let's see. Good for six minutes.
00:09:33
Yeah. Yes. I have a movie recommendation. Let's hear it. Okay. There's this movie.
00:09:39
Jaws. Is it Jaws? It's not Jaws. I've seen it. Okay. It's TCM, you know, Turner Classic Movies.
00:09:47
Hell yeah. Always have great movies. Our friend Millie works. Our friend Millie.
00:09:50
That's right. Well, they put on, and maybe it was her because she puts on the best movies, is this documentary
00:09:55
called The Queen. It's not about the Queen of England. It's from 1968. And it's a documentary about the experience of the drag queens organizing and participating
00:10:04
in the 1967 Miss All America Camp Beauty Contest in New York City. And it's just a documentary following them from the first meeting to the rehearsals.
00:10:15
They do these fucking dance numbers that are incredible. It's them in the hotel rooms all together getting ready and talking about, you know, their sexuality and their, you know, tips for drag queening.
00:10:25
And it's so fucking good. And then the actual show, the show itself is almost like secondary.
00:10:31
I'm pretty sure we spotted, what's his name, Andy Warhol in the audience. Oh, I'm sure.
00:10:37
I'm sure. It's just really, it's captivating. I wonder, oh, that's, I wonder if, is Dorian Corey featured in that?
00:10:46
Because she is the older drag queen that's in Paris is Burning. That's like, and if you want to throw you a gold ring and you fly real high, you know, that one.
00:10:55
Yeah. Because she was around. She was one of the, I mean, she's just like a legendary, a legendary queen.
00:11:03
Oh, yeah. Wait. Yeah. Great. The Queen put drag on stage long before RuPaul's Drag Race and even Paris is burning with appearances from Andy Warhol, Edie Sedgwick, Dorian Corey.
00:11:14
Yes. It's the movie by Frank Simon. Yeah. Get it, you guys. I'm obsessed. Oh, I can't wait.
00:11:22
Wait. So what do you remember? What's the title again? The Queen. Yeah. The Queen.
00:11:26
OK. I have to watch that. Here's my favorite quote from Dorian Corey. I always had hopes of being a big star.
00:11:32
But as you get older, you aim a little lower. Everybody wants to make an impression, some mark upon the world.
00:11:38
Then you think you've made a mark on the world if you just get through it. And a few people remember your name.
00:11:43
Then you've left a mark. You don't have to bend the whole world. I think it's better just to enjoy it.
00:11:49
Pay your dues and just enjoy it. And if you shoot an arrow and it goes real high, hooray for you.
00:11:55
Okay Tattoo that on my entire back Her saying that in Paris is Burning is the first time I saw that I got like 17 waves of chill It the best philosophically accurate
00:12:09
Like, hell yeah. That's what it's all about. It's exactly how to live your life.
00:12:12
It really is. It really is. Let's do it, you guys. You and you're still in the shower.
00:12:18
You're really wasting water. Oh my God. I guess you're not from California where there's been a drought.
00:12:23
Shelly, come on. Get out of the shower. Get out of the shower. Stop conditioning, packing your hair.
00:12:29
Yeah. It's all the same as regular conditioner. Shelly, short for Shelbert. Get out of the shower.
00:12:35
Shelly, shaving your body from head to toe. Wrap it up. Okay. So this week we're doing a wait.
00:12:42
Do you want to talk about MFM network updates? Well, the one exciting thing is that if you so bananas, the bananas boys have started a
00:12:52
mini sewed episode of their podcast and it's only on Stitcher Premium. So if you go to Stitcher
00:12:58
Premium and sign up with using their code bananas, you can listen to them for free.
00:13:04
Amazing. It's like a taste test for Stitcher Premium. And they're shorties too, where they're just like playing and they're kind of doing like a
00:13:12
hometown style where they're doing like, what's the weird news that happened in your town, right?
00:13:16
Yep. Yes, exactly. Such a great idea. Ooh, murder squads doing the Keddie murders.
00:13:20
yeah that's exciting i know those are fucked up there's a they wrapped up on the fall line they
00:13:25
wrapped up their sam little series so if you didn't catch that the first time around they did
00:13:30
um a four-part series about the serial killer sam little who got caught in texas who drew the
00:13:37
pictures of all his victims and he remembers them all and there's like 90 they think there's like
00:13:43
Almost 100. Yeah. So many and more potentially because it's just all in his head.
00:13:50
It's a really interesting story about how they put the pieces together through DNA.
00:13:54
And then he just started talking. And it's just that Texas Ranger. Yeah. And sat man to man with them.
00:14:01
And yeah, it's incredible. It's quite a story. Yeah. And then for as far as merch goes, we have.
00:14:09
Oh, my God. I love this design so much. So a listener by the name of Rack Flan, R-A-C-F-L-A-N on Instagram.
00:14:19
Rachel Flannery. That's right. She is so talented. We've been like loving her stuff forever.
00:14:25
And so we are now bringing you her. You're in a cult called Your Dad design. And it's freaking adorable.
00:14:34
So cute. Yeah. So go to the My Favorite Murder store at myfavoritemurder.retail.gov.
00:14:46
Right? That's it. That's the name. That's it. That's all you need to know. That's the URL, everybody.
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00:17:02
So should we introduce? This is going to be another quilt show. Yeah. People are loving the quilt.
00:17:06
That's right. Because I'm fucking taking my first little weekend away. Georgia's getting out of the house with her mask and her man.
00:17:15
That's right. We're going out of town. We're going to sun our buns. it's just badly needed it's gonna be great it's gonna be great let's see sorry steven which one
00:17:25
of us goes first on this episode oh yeah i believe it's you karen since uh last week was adam walsh
00:17:30
all right good one so okay then in this quilt episode we go all the way back to correct me if
00:17:37
i'm wrong the first year of us touring 2017 right yeah well because we started at the end of 2016
00:17:44
but like way at the end and like touring touring was different than just this was the first
00:17:49
official tour, I believe. First official tour. So, yeah, it's March 25th 2017 And this was the weekend we were at Revolution Hall in Portland Oregon and the murderinos and the listeners showed up to win They came to party
00:18:07
They came to get down. They came to fucking blow the roof off and they did it. There was barfing.
00:18:14
There was people crawling on the stage. It was legendary. I wish I could go back there now.
00:18:21
God, it was fun. It was. So this is the episode, the live episode, where I cover the I-5 killer, Randy Woodfield, at Revolution Hall in Portland, Oregon, March 25th, 2017.
00:18:34
Enjoy. Who's first? I think you're first because you got your page up. Actually, Stephen might have shit queued up.
00:18:41
Stephen, get on that Janet Jackson mic and tell us who's first this week. I think it's Karen's turn.
00:18:47
Great. Wonderful. Listen, I took a fucking allergy pill. I tried to prepare, and you guys are, it's a real allergy here.
00:18:58
What's happening? Oh, because of your nose? It must have been like, my nose is dripping on stage.
00:19:04
It's so embarrassing. Oh, look, girl. I mean, you know, that's Broadway. That's how it is.
00:19:09
It's just, yeah, it's like, come on. Can I just look? Okay, anyways. You know what you might want to do?
00:19:15
What? This is what Patti LuPone does. You just shove Kleenex up your nose. I dreamed a dream, baby.
00:19:23
All right, well, my murder for Portland, Oregon is one you may know of. Kind of famous, perhaps.
00:19:31
It's the I-5 killer. You take on the big ones. Yes, that's my forte. That's my jam.
00:19:45
I got most of this information from a Sports Illustrated article. Interestingly enough, a man named L. John Wertheim wrote a really awesome article that's online.
00:20:00
You can look it up. Don't look it up. And follow right along with me reading. But this is what I really like.
00:20:10
on the website, the Sports Illustrated website, when I went to go read this story, because I'd
00:20:16
actually read it a while ago, and I went and found it, and on the website, it says,
00:20:22
Sports Illustrated, Sports Investigated. Oh, no. Fucking look into it with a sports perspective.
00:20:32
Yes. I guess the sporting is the murdering. Like, did they get that, that that's what, they're calling it a sport?
00:20:38
I mean, I think what they're saying is you can wear a jersey as you look into true crime, if you feel like.
00:20:47
Yeah. Dear Sports Illustrated, I was so offended when you had an audacity to call me.
00:20:53
And she has a black, oh no, is this a Blackberry? I think she has a Blackberry. Yeah, she uses a Blackberry.
00:20:59
Her name's Patricia. I'm calling her Patricia. Patricia, come on. Patricia, let him do his thing.
00:21:05
You don't have to have an angry opinion all the time. Go ahead. But you can. But it helps.
00:21:13
Randy Woodfield was born in Salem, Oregon, to a middle-class family. It's here for Salem.
00:21:22
Really? Wow. Yep. This side and this side. Oh, because of all the witches being hung.
00:21:33
Oh, yeah. He was popular among his peers and a football star at Newport High School.
00:21:43
Go Vikings. Is that true? I don't know. That would be rad if you got that right.
00:21:50
I think it could. I could have just pulled that factoid out, but the chances are so slim that I couldn't say that that's what I did.
00:21:57
I don't want to know the truth. We never will. At least not in this story. Okay.
00:22:02
In high school, Randy began to exhibit antisocial sexual behaviors. Not the social kind.
00:22:12
The antisocial kind. Not just plain Frenching. That's not what he was about. His first arrest for indecent exposure was hushed up by his football coaches
00:22:24
so he wouldn't be kicked off the team. Priorities, priorities, priorities. You got to have those high school fucking football people over.
00:22:31
You got to focus. You've got to move that ball down the field, and you've got to make sure that a boy that pulls his penis out on a bridge and says, everybody look at this, gets moved up in society.
00:22:43
It's important. Can you imagine if a mathlete coach was like, I can't tell anyone about my creepy fucking mathlete star over here.
00:22:51
Do you know? We need him. Do you know how many quiz bowls have been lost because of peeping Tom jerk-off boys?
00:22:59
We've got to cover this up. I'm going to turn that over. So he graduated, and then he went on to play for Portland State University.
00:23:10
And you guys aren't there. Now it's... Oh! Oh! Oh, Randy! That's not what I was expecting.
00:23:20
Randy! Hey! He looks like Henry... He looks like the Fonz. Are people leaving? That was such a weird like, all right, we're out of here.
00:23:35
We don't like this old yearbook bullshit. Randy Woodfield was a wingwright. He was a white robin.
00:23:47
Cuts on a dime. What's a W-R? Look at that, good hands. Good hands. Cuts on a dime.
00:23:55
Fluid and smooth. Catches well in a crowd. What? He was a good jumper. Brandy, you're such a good jumper.
00:24:06
It doesn't matter that you jerked off in front of the cheerleading squad. You're a good jumper.
00:24:14
Such a good jumper. So now there's a visual element. You're going to have to handle that and incorporate it into what was only an audio experience beforehand.
00:24:24
Too much. You're asking too much. So at Portland State University, he was known for his devotion to the Campus Crusade for Christ
00:24:33
and the fellowship of Christian athletes. One of his teammates was quoted as saying it seemed real important to him
00:24:43
that he came across as someone who would do the right thing. It was almost like it was keeping him together.
00:24:49
I don't even bother trying to seem like I would do the right thing. That's the secret, and then I do.
00:24:54
It seems like the people who are trying to look like they're doing the right thing are doing the wrong thing a lot.
00:24:59
Yeah. If you have to think really hard about what the right thing is and if you should do it, then you've got a fucking issue.
00:25:05
If you also, if you need a really old book to help you do the right thing, maybe you need to get some help in doing the right thing.
00:25:12
I don't want to start a thing. This isn't a, this isn't. Karen, Karen's stirring the fucking shit.
00:25:20
Different parade, different parade. I mean, you didn't come here for the Bible talk.
00:25:24
Three more arrests in the early 70s for petty crimes such as vandalism and public indecency did not prevent Woodfield from being selected in the 1974 NFL draft by the Green Bay Packers as a wide receiver in the 17th round.
00:25:39
Geez. Yeah. He jerked his way off to success. Randy, Randy. He signed a contract in February of 1974, and it stipulated that he keep himself in peak condition.
00:25:54
He avoid consorting with gamblers. Then wear a coat and necktie anytime he was in public.
00:25:59
And that's it. And he took it literally. And that was it. A coat and necktie. Oh, but when you're wearing the coat and necktie, no pants, fine.
00:26:08
As long as you have the top part on like Porky Pig, we're good with you. He looks like a detective who got into some capers.
00:26:17
Yeah. Anyway. He was like, I'm so stressed out from my detective job, I have to show everybody my balls.
00:26:23
Ew! That's Randy! He was signed almost immediately, and that money enabled him to quit his job
00:26:33
at the Portland area Burger Chef. No one gives a fuck about Burger Chef. Randy was on the verge of playing in the NFL,
00:26:44
but he was cut during training camp. He stayed in Wisconsin, and he played the 1974 season
00:26:51
for the semi-pro Manitowoc Chiefs. I think that's how you pronounce it. That's also the same city
00:26:58
where they filmed Making a Murderer. Oh, yeah! Manitowoc? Manitowoc? So, he basically stays in town,
00:27:09
plays for a semi-pro team, but after a dozen flashing incidents across the state,
00:27:16
he fucking got in his car and took it all around Wisconsin. Oh, my God. He's like, I hate hotels when they don't have shampoo.
00:27:22
And also I show my dick off to everyone. Check out my dick. Junk out. I have a pile of junk for all of you to see.
00:27:30
Ew, you keep making it. Pile, a pile of junk. Something specifically. It was just piled up.
00:27:39
Stop it, stop it. He would be at an angle, so it would pile up. Ew! Oh, God. It's fun.
00:27:48
It doesn't stay like that. I'm so glad my dad's not at this show. As one Wisconsin law enforcement officer recalled years later,
00:28:02
Woodfield, quote, couldn't keep that thing in his pants. So he left Wisconsin because he basically got fired off of the semi-protein
00:28:18
because of all the flashing incidents, and he went home to beautiful Portland. Then he would, once he got back here,
00:28:26
he would show up at Portland State on occasion to work out with his old team. What is sadder than that?
00:28:35
Oh, he's here again. Pretend that... Hey, guys, I don't know. Throw the ball around a little...
00:28:40
Never forget. I guess I need a shower off now. Let's all shower off. Should we shower?
00:28:53
The coach at the time was quoted as saying, he seemed like a nice kid, he was a good athlete,
00:28:58
but one of the other players said, coach, don't get too close to that guy, he's strange.
00:29:03
Finally, voice of reason. So, now, simultaneously, and maybe coincidentally at the same time,
00:29:12
in early 1975 in Dunaway Park in southwest Portland, several women were sexually assaulted at knife point.
00:29:22
So the Portland PD assigned female police officers to go undercover. What the fuck?
00:29:27
This creeps me out so much when they do this. What? Because it's just like, hey, I'm going to get you
00:29:33
first, hopefully. You know? But I always love it because they're like, it's like, sure, I'll go dress up like a
00:29:41
regular lady and walk around a park at night and then I'll fucking catch ya. Yeah Legally Yeah I fucking shoot you in the knee Yeah They know what to do Okay So on March 3rd 1975 a man wielding a paring knife darted out from behind some bushes demanding money from an undercover cop The police converged arrested the assailant He identified himself as Randy Woodfield Football star extraordinaire
00:30:08
He pled guilty to reduce charges of second-degree robbery and he was sentenced to 10 years in prison.
00:30:17
So retired Lieutenant Paul Weatherroy, a longtime Portland cold case detective, said,
00:30:23
there was a conventional wisdom back in the day that someone who was an exposure or a peeping Tom wouldn't elevate to more serious crimes.
00:30:31
Based on no evidence whatsoever. Well, let me finish the quote. We've learned that nothing's further from the truth.
00:30:39
So in a mere 30 years, they've put it together that actually it's just the beginning of something
00:30:47
special. It's the exact opposite of that. Yeah. So, uh, Woodfield was paroled in July of 1979 after serving four years and, uh, his former PSU teammates threw him a party to celebrate his release.
00:31:06
But some thought it strange when the guest of honor arrived two and a half hours late. I read this, I read that sentence over and over and I was like, cause that's the bad part.
00:31:16
That's weird. What the fuck? Yeah. I wasn't mad that he was showing his dick off, but he's two hours late.
00:31:23
He never wears pants. And that's fine. But tardy to the party? I don't think so.
00:31:29
I don't think so, Randy. No. No. In jail for rape and attempted rape? Oh, well. Late to the party?
00:31:38
Yeah. Go fuck yourself. Know your manners. Yeah. So at the same time he gets out of jail, he starts cruising around Portland in a gold 1974 champagne edition Volkswagen Beetle.
00:31:56
Yes! What is up? Almost like an homage. Almost like, it's like, it's so Ted Bundy.
00:32:02
It's beyond Ted Bundy. I feel like Volkswagen needs to issue an apology for the 70s.
00:32:06
You know? Like we didn't plan it. There's just something about them. They're just easy to kill with, perhaps.
00:32:19
So Randy, he was kind of a visionary in a lot of ways because, of course, he had a great, amazing football player's body,
00:32:26
and he really enjoyed sending naked pictures of himself to women. Oh, they did that back then?
00:32:31
This was the mid-'70s, so he had to do it analog style. He had to do it the hard way and, like, wait around a photo mat.
00:32:41
A photo mat. Yeah. Are my pictures ready yet? No, sir. He drives back around that little thing.
00:32:49
Just keeps driving around it in his gold Ted Bundy mobile. He also submitted pictures to Playgirl magazine
00:32:58
and had been waiting to find out if he was going to be chosen as the boy next door.
00:33:04
Oh, my God. I mean, sorry to ruin Playgirl for you, girls. but wasn't Ted Bundy in like a
00:33:13
yeah the one where he's like on the bear rug or whatever I think that might be a photoshop
00:33:18
oh that's actually Tom Selleck right you're thinking it's actually Burt Reynolds
00:33:25
yes yes yes two strikes okay that was just like that was just like us through the ages
00:33:34
you just saw like how old I am how old Georgia is All right. So then on October 9th, 1980, a woman named Sherry Ayers is raped and murdered in Portland.
00:33:46
She's bludgeoned and stabbed repeatedly in the neck. And it turned out that Randy had gotten out of jail just in time to attend his 10th high school reunion in Newport,
00:33:56
where he had reconnected with Sherry Ayers, and they had begun to see each other socially.
00:34:02
He was questioned about that murder, but he refused to sit for a polygraph, and the homicide detectives found his answers generally evasive and deceptive,
00:34:12
but because his blood type didn't match the semen found in the victim's body, no charges could be filed.
00:34:18
A month later, early on Thanksgiving morning, Darcy Renee Fix, 22 years old, and Douglas Keith Altig, 24 years old,
00:34:27
were shot to death execution style in Fix's North Portland home, and Fix's .32 caliber revolver was missing from the scene.
00:34:34
And while Darcy had once dated one of Randy Woodfield's closest friends, they again could not connect him to the crime.
00:34:45
So, now starts the I-5 bandit killing spree. On December 9th, 1980, a man wearing a fake beard held up a gas station in Vancouver, Washington, just across, as you know, from the Columbia River, from Portland.
00:35:01
Karen, I'm getting those. Paper mill. Oh, how does it smell? Maybe that's why I'm like, my nose is bleeding.
00:35:10
Yeah. Basically. Because of the paper mill? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just fucking fiberglass at my nastrils.
00:35:18
I know someone that used to work there and he said, that's the smell of money. Local jokes get local work.
00:35:25
All right. Four nights later and Eugene, a man wearing a fake beard and athletic tape on his nose, raided an ice cream parlor.
00:35:32
The next night, a drive-in restaurant in nearby Albany was robbed by a bearded man.
00:35:37
A week after that in Seattle, a gunman matching the same description pinned down a 25-year-old waitress inside a restroom and forced her to masturbate him,
00:35:46
which is the worst sentence of all time. Just a bummer. Four weeks later, on the evening of January 18, 1981, in Kaiser,
00:35:55
Sherry Hull was leaving the Transamerica office building after her cleaning shift A man managed to get into the building grabbed her and walked her at gunpoint back inside
00:36:06
On their way down the hallway, he spots the other cleaner, 20-year-old Lisa Garcia.
00:36:10
He grabs both women, brings them into a back room, orders them to lay on the floor.
00:36:15
After he rapes both of them, he shoots both of them twice in the back of the head.
00:36:21
Sherry Hull dies, but Lisa Garcia survives. Fuck. Yeah. Isn't that fucking nuts?
00:36:29
Yeah. She fucking execution style gets shot in the back of the head, stands up and is like, I'm calling the fucking cops.
00:36:36
Oh, my God. Yeah. Very cool. So on February 3rd, sorry, 1981, Randy Woodfield called his sister in Shasta County
00:36:52
and asked to have coffee with her, but she said that her husband didn't want him around.
00:36:57
Because you're a fucking creep and we know it. Yeah. The family's like, we're not into you.
00:37:02
Soon after, Randy Woodfield forced his way into the Mountain Gate home of Donna Eckerd
00:37:08
and her 14-year-old daughter, Janelle. They were found dead, each shot twice in the back of the head.
00:37:14
Lab tests would reveal later that the girl had been sodomized. Their home was just off the I-5.
00:37:19
And then earlier that same day, an 18-year-old waitress was kidnapped and raped after a holdup 15 miles south in Redding.
00:37:28
And the next day, a similar crime was reported 100 miles up the I-5 in Huayarica, California.
00:37:35
And then 10 days later, Randy Woodfield organized a Valentine's Day party for himself.
00:37:41
Oh, no. At the Marriott Hotel in downtown Portland. What does that consist of? You guys don't fucking like that place.
00:37:51
Picture it. Picture the decorations. A grown man throwing a Valentine's Day party for himself.
00:38:01
Oh my God. Himself. I barely even like Valentine's Day as a couple. I mean, no one likes it.
00:38:07
No. He throws a party for himself on Valentine's Day. And here's the worst part, or maybe the best part.
00:38:13
No one goes. No one goes. Oh, man. This is why you don't have birthday parties. Or kill people.
00:38:30
Birthday parties are hard enough. You can't pick a random holiday and be like, you know what, this Easter's about me.
00:38:37
It doesn't work that way. Especially one that everyone is like, I want to be with the person that I bone.
00:38:43
Yeah, Randy, I don't want to spend this day with you, Randy. I don't love you. I've never loved you
00:38:50
I played football with you my wife's like who the fuck is this guy I don't want to fucking be at his Marriott
00:38:57
fucking Valentine's Day party it's fucking psychotic because it's not like let's all meet at a bar
00:39:03
and have Valentine's Day about me it's like I've rented the grand ballroom at the Marriott
00:39:07
and I've hung streamers please come alright so after that night and the humulation,
00:39:20
Randy Woodfield turns up on the doorstep of Julie Wright's home in Beaverton at 2 a.m.
00:39:26
And around... Yay. No yay for Beaverton. You're right. Don't be embarrassed. I know it's hard.
00:39:37
It's hard sometimes. Now we have to go back into the horrible story. Around 4 a.m.
00:39:47
Julie was shot. Sorry. That's basically the podcast. Now we have to go back and look at this horrible story.
00:39:53
That's what it's called. That's the working title. Around 4 a.m., Julie is shot twice in the back of the head after being raped.
00:40:01
Her body is found at 8.30 a.m. by her mother. So police find that Julie knew her attacker because they had a glass of wine.
00:40:10
And they were planning on having coffee. There was instant coffee sitting on the counter,
00:40:15
and the water had boiled all the way down in the kettle. And investigators soon find out that Julie knew Randy Woodfield
00:40:24
because he worked as a bouncer at the Fossett Tavern in Raleigh Hills, and he'd many times overlooked that she had a fake ID
00:40:32
and let her in the bar anyway because Julie was 14 years old. Oh, my God. Yeah. So I'm glad we all clapped for Beaverton.
00:40:42
Really good plan, you guys. Can you fucking imagine, like, someone knocks on the door and you look and it's like the bouncer at the fucking bar you sneak into?
00:40:52
And you're just like, I don't really want to open the door. Hi, Randy. But it's the 80s, so I'm nice to everyone.
00:40:57
I can't be rude. Yeah. Well, he's done you all these favors. Yeah. So, like, I guess I can't just, like.
00:41:03
Hi, Randy. I heard about your Valentine's Day party. I'm sorry I didn't go. I was sorry I was washing my hair.
00:41:09
I'm so sorry. Ugh. Bleh. All right. So Marion County detectives interview Randy after this murder because his name keeps coming up,
00:41:21
and all of these murders, he's somehow connected. So they search his home, his room, actually, where he's staying.
00:41:30
He's renting a room in a house. And they only find gun cleaning materials. But when his landlady shows up, she shows them a lengthy phone bill with a trail of calls from San Francisco to Bethel, Washington.
00:41:43
I don't know if that's how it's called. Awful, I said. Like brothel, Washington.
00:41:55
Like awful Which is just a few miles south like awful which is how we pronounce every city in every state that we visit so that when they realize when they see all these calls going and all these
00:42:10
cities straight up and down the five they're like we have a serial killer on our hands
00:42:13
um then they look up payphone calling logs and they connect he was using remember calling cards
00:42:21
everybody. Remember? Hey, oldies. Hey, remember when we used to use calling cards?
00:42:30
You have 20 minutes left on this card. I remember. You were like, oh my God, this is like money.
00:42:37
Don't lose it. But I need to talk to my boyfriend. I can miss you, baby. Do you miss me?
00:42:43
So he used calling cards within a few miles of the city of every murder. And that phone record was the final piece of evidence that they used to arrest Randy Woodfield.
00:43:00
And Detective Dave Bishop says, all of a sudden it became obvious. It was a map of I-5.
00:43:06
Randy Woodfield was addicted to the phone, and he made thousands of calls. But when he called women, some of them turned him down, and that made him mad.
00:43:16
And within minutes, he would find a victim. Some he knew, and some he did not. So at the trial, fucking Lisa Garcia was the key witness.
00:43:25
Yeah. She tells the jury about the night in the Transamerica office building. She said that the man that they see in the courtroom was the same one who raped and shot her and raped and murdered her co-worker.
00:43:39
it took the jury three and a half hours to reach its verdict of guilty. Yeah. So in June.
00:43:48
Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh. Some of you are like, I don't know. Is it weird that I. I feel like I could change it.
00:44:01
I could get him off that phone. On June 26, 1981, Randy Woodfield was convicted on all counts.
00:44:10
There was no death penalty option in Oregon, so he was sentenced to a prison term of life plus 90 years at the Oregon State Penitentiary.
00:44:19
That December, 35 more years were added to his sentence when a jury in Benton County, Oregon, convicted him of sodomy and weapons charges
00:44:28
tied to another attack in a restaurant bathroom. Randy Woodfield has always maintained his innocence.
00:44:34
Please, dude. This 2006 quote from Randy's MySpace page... Oh, my God. Wow, that was a lot of information at once.
00:44:45
He's still alive. He has a MySpace page. What if I just started reading a third-eye blind lyric sheet?
00:44:53
I don't think you're allowed to smoke in Oregon prisons, but you can have a fucking MySpace page?
00:45:00
People need to express themselves on a black background with green writing. Yeah, I mean, I want to know who your top eight are.
00:45:08
Is it your cellmate? Because he's going to be pissed if it's not. You better bump him up there.
00:45:14
He's like, I love phones and myself and parties. This 2006 quote from Randy's MySpace page is the closest he's ever come to taking ownership of his past.
00:45:26
Quote, I spend the remainder of my days in prison because I have committed a murder along with many other crimes.
00:45:32
I once tried out for the Green Bay Packers. The only reason I didn't make it is because the skills I had to offer,
00:45:38
they didn't need at the time. I'm loved, deeply loved, so loved I could fill a Marriott ballroom
00:45:48
with how many people who love me. In 2012, Woodfield was definitively linked to five more murders,
00:45:57
three in the Portland area and two in California's Shasta County. That's your I five killer, everybody.
00:46:07
And we're back in it. And we're back in 2020. Back in 2020. I wish we could have warned ourselves during that show just now to watch the fuck out for 2020.
00:46:19
You know what I would have done, Georgia, is after our show, I remember us all going to a bar together
00:46:25
because you had friends in town. I had friends in town. We all went to a bar. We had a great time.
00:46:30
We met people. We chatted. We got to bunker down. I would have whispered in my ear, travel back in time, whisper in my ear, go to a different
00:46:38
bar. Go to other places. Oh, yeah. All night long. Go. Just go do stuff. Get away from these people.
00:46:46
Go to a different bar right now. Go to a different. These people are dragging you down.
00:46:52
If you go to a different bar right now, COVID might not happen. you meant like you could change time on a different butterfly no no no i just meant like
00:47:00
go enjoy yourself i keep watching things there was some video on twitter the other day of people
00:47:05
at a concert and something funny happened but i was just like concerts and i you know me i'm like
00:47:11
can take them or leave them and usually leave them and now i'm like concerts i know concerts
00:47:16
i miss putting an outfit together god damn you know yeah i do because i've been wearing
00:47:23
the same black shirt for two years now. Me too. I never thought I'd get sick of house dresses,
00:47:28
but look at me now. Fuckers are sick of house dresses. Okay. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer, Hyundai has its eyes on
00:47:37
the next generation of talent. The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14.
00:47:42
Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense,
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rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust. Because Next doesn't wait for an
00:47:50
invitation and Hyundai doesn't either. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach. Hyundai
00:47:55
did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle. Hyundai did it by engineering
00:48:00
wearing EVs with ultra-fast charging capability. And Hyundai continues doing it every day.
00:48:05
From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far-off concept.
00:48:11
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00:48:56
Goodbye. Goodbye. Okay, for my episode, we're going to go all the way over to Minneapolis, Minnesota.
00:49:04
Always a great time we have at live shows there. We were at the University of Minnesota at the Northrop Auditorium on October 18th, 2017.
00:49:16
And I cover the murder of Carol Thompson, aka the story that inspired Fargo. So enjoy.
00:49:25
So who do we? It's you. Okay. Stephen emailed and told us he did? yeah well I didn't look
00:49:31
yeah well great I'm glad one of us pays attention Stephen Stephen okay this ladies and gentlemen
00:49:40
is the murder of Carol Thompson real quick for the newbies oh right we are not cheering
00:49:50
for the murder of Carol Thompson that's not what's happening right now no it's important to us
00:49:55
that you understand And we are not a pro-murder podcast. Quite the opposite, in fact.
00:50:01
Quite the opposite. Yeah. And there's a reason I didn't say this is the story of her husband.
00:50:06
I said it's of the Vic... Okay, anyways, you get it. You get it. Okay. Okay. In 1963, Karen, Carol Swoboda Thompson, she's a 34-year-old housewife,
00:50:17
mother of four young children ages 6 to 13, and she's the only child of a respected St. Paul plumbing contractor,
00:50:24
and they have a lot of money. And she's married for 15 years to an up-and-coming attorney named T. Eugene Thompson.
00:50:32
He's 35. He was born in Blue Earth, Minnesota. Which sounds rural because one person quietly wooed.
00:50:42
That was the mayor. Coming down to represent Blue Earth. The mayor and the one person who lives there.
00:50:51
All right, so Carol is kind of the prototypical 60s, 50s, 60s housewife. She's this lovely woman. She's really active
00:50:59
in her Presbyterian church. She's active in the scouts for her kids and does all of those
00:51:03
sorts of things. She plays bridges with her friends, that adorable kind of thing.
00:51:07
They get together for coffee parties which probably, they'll probably pour it a little in there.
00:51:12
I would. I mean, coffee parties sound like a blast and everything, but get it going.
00:51:20
Let's get the party part in there. She did all the normal things early 1960s housewives did.
00:51:27
So, when she was brutally murdered at the Highland Park family home on the morning of March 6, 1963,
00:51:35
the city was fucking shocked because this kind of thing didn't happen and this family was well-known in the neighborhood
00:51:41
or in the town because of the attorney husband and this lovely woman. So, that's March 6, 1963.
00:51:49
Her killer surprised her in her bedroom. She was home alone. Killer surprised her in her bedroom.
00:51:54
and struck her over the head with a piece of rubber hose. And then when she passed out, he attempted to drown her
00:52:00
to make it look like she accidentally drowned. That fucking Carol is a badass motherfucker
00:52:06
because that didn't work. So she came to and she fought him off and started to run through the house.
00:52:13
Then he tries to shoot her. The gun misfires. Then he beats her up with the butt of a Luger pistol
00:52:24
and stabs her in the neck with a kitchen knife, but she still fucking survives. Jesus Christ.
00:52:29
I know. He thinks she's dead. He goes to wash his hands and clean up, and she fucking runs to her next-door neighbor
00:52:37
with a fucking knife in her neck. Whoa. With a knife in her neck? Sorry. With a knife in her neck.
00:52:45
We should all be so badass. That's amazing. I know. So she staggers to the neighbor's house.
00:52:52
The neighbor answers the door, finds Carol who's unrecognizable because of the blood.
00:52:57
She's barefoot. She says, I've got a knife in my throat. A man did it. He came to the door.
00:53:04
And this is the most 1960s saying I've ever heard. Won't you please help me? I know.
00:53:10
Also just that poor neighbor. I mean, like, she's having her own private coffee party inside.
00:53:17
Chilling, minding her business. 60s housewife style. Vacuuming for the fourth time that day.
00:53:22
Just getting those pills taken. Hoovering. They called it Hoovering. They called it Hoovering.
00:53:30
Making everything nice and neat. And then there's a knock at the door. Oh, God. Horrible.
00:53:34
Don't ever answer that. Well, that's not true. Never mind. Carol's rushed to Anchor Hospital, and the surgeons took the blade from her throat, worked on her, but she died three hours later.
00:53:48
Oh, no. Poor baby. the people and then the people were panicking her husband when he finds out is bawling um people were panicking and there no arrest made for several weeks so people were like and it one of those things in the city where it like we didn think this happened in our city to these kinds of people
00:54:06
As everyone who this ever happens to says. In LA, we're like, yeah, this happens.
00:54:11
This happens all the time. To all of us. Constantly. Constantly. Everywhere you look.
00:54:16
Yeah. We're like, why didn't it happen today? What's wrong? We're all the bad people in one spot.
00:54:21
Yeah. Yeah. So then the evidence that's left at the scene is pieces of the pistol's grip, which had broken off during the attack.
00:54:34
And those are traced. Oh, wait. Do you want to see pictures? So this is, I have a photo of the family.
00:54:40
There we go. I know. She looks almost exactly like Jim Cleaver. I know. That's so typical.
00:54:48
And then we have a photo of her and her husband, T. Eugene Thompson. At their wedding.
00:54:54
I know. It's just to bum you guys out real quick. That's what they're here for. Hey, me too.
00:55:00
So the evidence of the pistol grip that's broken off left at the scene, it leads investigators that gun part in April to an ex-convict from Michigan.
00:55:09
You guys love that place. Yeah, why are you holding up a... His name is Dick W.C. Anderson.
00:55:18
He's a troubled Korean War combat vet. He confesses to the murder that he did it, but he said he was hired by former Twin Cities prize fighter underworld figure named Norman J. Mastrian.
00:55:31
When Norman's questioned, the guy who hired this dude, he reveals that he had been hired by Carol's husband, T. Eugene Thompson, to murder Carol for three grand.
00:55:45
Well, it was the late 60s, so that would be ten grand. today. They're not wedding over that, I don't think.
00:55:53
Yeah. This is really nice paper, by the way. I just want to thank you. Can we have a moment of positivity?
00:55:59
This is absolutely gorgeous paper. Very high quality items, you guys. I realized as I was saying that,
00:56:07
what an inappropriate time it was to say that. I support it. But that's this podcast
00:56:11
pretty much. ADD Central. Okay, $3,000. So Swanson says that Mr. Thompson carefully mastermind the hit, including getting.
00:56:25
OK, so he fucking on Valentine's Day is they have this really cute, yappy little dachshund.
00:56:30
And he's like, we're getting rid of the dog and fucking takes the dog and like gives it away on Valentine's Day.
00:56:36
Just random. Just to get rid of the dog so the dude could break in. I know. And the morning of he takes the telephone out of the bedroom.
00:56:47
yeah warning signs everybody keep your eyes peeled yeah definitely oh i know oh sorry we just have to
00:56:57
get this phone uh fixed we just i just have to bring the phone in to get it's not broken honey
00:57:04
oh here we go yep um okay so also norman mastrain he's a local convict he had been involved in the
00:57:16
murder of an underworld type years earlier. And the person who represented him is T. Eugene Thompson,
00:57:22
the husband who is an attorney. So there's a connection. Maybe like a dirty defense attorney?
00:57:28
Exactly. Got it. Or, you know, has connections to these types of people. So according to a bunch of
00:57:34
underworld sources, which I love that just like... The Minneapolis underworld. I would love to study
00:57:39
it. You know, that word is just so like, oh yeah, we all know. Yeah. Black market snow.
00:57:46
the underworld you know you know you know so according to a bunch of them who are like yeah
00:57:55
three or four of us had to turn mastrian down so there's a bunch of other people like yeah he asked
00:58:01
us to kill the wife and we were all like fuck no and but this one dude dick anderson walked around
00:58:08
one bar. Not a good plan. Okay, so T. Eugene Thompson is arrested on June 21st and indicted on charge
00:58:18
of first degree murder and this fucking trial is like the O.J. Simpson trial of the time, which I know is
00:58:23
everyone says that about everything. But it really applies here. Really, like to prove it
00:58:30
they were like, there were even newspapers in Oslo talking about it. It's like, whoa.
00:58:35
You get the scope. Yeah, they made it to fucking Norway. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So there's a six week trial covered by reporters from across
00:58:44
the country and they were doing the thing where they're like, so-and-so is wearing this today.
00:58:47
And this person's wearing that today. Oh, we have, um, arrest photos of them. Okay. That's,
00:58:54
that's the guy who killed them. Don't ooh. I'm sorry. And that's Eugene Thompson,
00:59:00
who totally looks like someone I dated. Really? Yeah. Well, what did that guy do? He just,
00:59:06
He thought he was a mod, and he drove a Mini Cooper. He had it flown over from the fucking UK.
00:59:12
Oh, really? It was so dumb. Pip-pip. Do all underworld people have a cleft chin?
00:59:22
Because that first guy did. I think that's why I made that noise. Oh. Now I feel bad.
00:59:27
All good. Okay. You were hoping he was just uninvolved, so you could talk about how cute he was.
00:59:31
This guy. He was on a TV show at the time and you just wanted to set the scene. Yeah.
00:59:37
This is the most famous nice guy in the world. He's the sweetest. Everyone in Minneapolis loved him anyway.
00:59:44
And he's a murderer. Okay. So the story about the trial was running on UPI's National Wire.
00:59:52
The only reason it got bumped and interrupted was because a certain day on November 22nd 1963 President JFK had been shot Yes It was the only reason it got kicked and bumped It was going to be in Life magazine and everything
01:00:06
but then they were like, bigger problem. Yeah. Okay, so then at the trial, it turns out,
01:00:11
it comes out that Eugene Thompson was a notorious womanizer and... Sorry, the second guy?
01:00:17
Yeah. I swear to God. That question says it all. Men have it good. Let's just say it that way.
01:00:28
You can be a little bald, bland fuck and be a womanizer. Amen. Sorry. That's very sexist against men, and I'm sorry.
01:00:41
We want this to be in a welcoming environment. She can't even say it with a straight face.
01:00:50
Okay. You want to try that again? We want this to be a welcoming environment for everybody.
01:00:57
We know there's so many good ones out there. Show your faces. Women have welcoming environments.
01:01:03
We want it to be. Let's get feminist. Surprise is also a feminist podcast. Then everyone storms out.
01:01:14
Okay. All right. Enough, Georgia. Okay. Total womanizer. And he had been taking out life insurance policy.
01:01:22
Man. Dude. It's funny that they haven't implemented something at insurance companies where if a husband is taking out large item life insurance policies on his wife, maybe somebody goes by and just knocks on the door.
01:01:38
Yeah. Just checks in. Let's her know. Hey, what are you up to? And is she aware?
01:01:43
And is everybody on the same page with this multi-million dollar life insurance policy?
01:01:48
I think that's a great idea. All right. I'm going to call Geico tomorrow. And he took out like a million dollar life insurance policy pretty quickly, pretty recently in the past.
01:02:01
But he had been taking out for 15 years bits and pieces of life insurance. So he was like.
01:02:08
So like he had policies all over the place? Yeah. Well, he was an attorney, so he probably knew how the shit worked.
01:02:13
Policies in every area code? Got 99 policies. So then someone said he had a long-running girlfriend.
01:02:26
He had several girlfriends. He had a long-running one in particular who he was eager to marry.
01:02:31
You know, those two fucking things. The life insurance policy and the girlfriend.
01:02:36
He, for some reason, went on the stand and everyone hated him. Shocker. Yeah. Okay.
01:02:47
He didn't womanize his way to the top of the courtroom? It's those guys that think they're so charming that they can win anyone over.
01:02:53
And they can also think that they can kill their wife and get away with it. They're like, no, no, no, I got this.
01:02:57
Let me get on the stand. I'll convince everyone. It's always the doctor husbands on Dateline who are just like, I assure you, Ed.
01:03:04
And you're just like, you look like a lizard. You are the scariest. Your eyes are dead.
01:03:10
And you have a forked tongue. Shut up. Just like not having the forethought that everyone thinks you're guilty.
01:03:16
Yeah. You know, knowing that. All right. We're really on one tonight. Man, we're pissed.
01:03:24
12 hours of deliberation. Jury decided that Thompson was guilty and he was sentenced to life in prison.
01:03:32
Yeah. No, wait, though. Life doesn't mean life anymore. You guys know that. Or back then, ever.
01:03:41
Okay, the two dudes, Anderson and Mastrian, are indicted in 1963. first degree murder charges, each sentenced to life in prison after being convicted.
01:03:52
Okay, so now the oldest child, Jeffrey, who was 13 at the time of his mother's murder,
01:03:59
he became a lawyer. And this guy, like, he likes to give interviews and he's fucking cool.
01:04:04
Like, his mom is a badass and is just really open about what happened because he's horrified by it, obviously.
01:04:11
So he became a prosecutor, prosecuted several first degree murder cases, and occasionally cites points of law from his father's trial.
01:04:19
Well, he'll be like, well, it just so happens that Thompson, relation. In this, you know, at this time.
01:04:26
Amazing. I know. In 1999, he was appointed district court judge in Winona. Okay.
01:04:34
All right, got a couple more than from Blue Mountain or whatever the fuck. Blue soil.
01:04:39
Then, okay, here we go, 1983, serving 19 years, T. Eugene Thompson is released on parole.
01:04:52
He maintained that he had been framed, and so after his release, his children, including Jeffrey, who's the lawyer,
01:04:58
was like, come over, we're going to sit down, we're going to hold a little trial of our own,
01:05:02
and we need you to convince us that you're not guilty because that's what you're saying.
01:05:07
and they laid out all the evidence for him and they were like, you're a lawyer too, tell us why we're wrong.
01:05:14
And the only thing he could come up with was some weird blood sample report about the blood that was in the house,
01:05:20
which is like, no one even said you were in the house anyways. That's all he could come up with.
01:05:25
And at the end, Jeffrey Thompson is like, you're guilty. It's amazing he did it.
01:05:30
That's another sign of that kind of crazy narcissism where he's like, oh yeah, that's easy.
01:05:36
I'll convince those guys. Right. And the kids are like, they want him to tell them.
01:05:41
It's not like they're like, we're never going to talk to you again. It's like, we can't have a relationship with you.
01:05:45
You're fucking lying to us and we know it. Yeah. It's not understand. Here we go.
01:05:53
So Jeffrey and his three younger sisters Let see Okay wait sorry So T Eugene Thompson died August 7 2017 on his 88th birthday
01:06:07
Not the son, the dad. And Jeffrey put on his tombstone, every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
01:06:18
Amen. That's kind of an ironic thing to put on a headstone, you have to admit. Well, there's no future.
01:06:27
Oh, right. I didn't think that may have been sarcasm on his part. He sounds it sounds like badassery run in the family.
01:06:36
So that's it. That's the murder of Carol Thompson. It was great. Thank you. Thank you.
01:06:45
Great job on that. Thank you. I remember you doing all your research the day of.
01:06:50
Thank you. It turned out great. It turned out really good. That must have been one of those ones where I had another one that I was totally going to do.
01:06:57
And then the afternoon of when you're like, fuck, I have to pick something else.
01:07:03
I can't do this one for whatever reason. There are lots of doubts. And for as fun and great as all those live shows turned out.
01:07:10
Yeah. There was lots of worry and doubts beforehand. Definitely. Even the stories that did really, really well.
01:07:15
You're still like, what if they're mad at me for this one? What if everyone in Minnesota knows that this is the story you don't talk about?
01:07:22
and you just don't know it. Or you know what I mean? Or like, this is the one thing that everyone
01:07:26
will make everyone hate you. Which is essentially just what we all call an anxiety. And it pops up
01:07:32
and tells you, here's the worst case scenario. And then we as people who love our own brains,
01:07:37
don't say, Oh, that's that idea that I get my head every time I attempt vulnerability. Instead,
01:07:43
we go, I have to change the story. Yeah, I have to change it right now. That's right.
01:07:47
It's not just my thinking. I know for a fact, this is going to be the one that breaks us.
01:07:51
That's right. The silence of the audience. And I will then dive into the audience and cry.
01:07:58
It worked out good. Yeah. We have a hometown now in this quilt episode. The hometown is from November 28th, 2019. So it's much more recent than these two, which are both from three years ago.
01:08:11
It was Alex came up at the end of the show that we did at the London Apollo and told us her hometown.
01:08:19
It was really quite a story. It's quite fun. Enjoy. Yeah, you guys know the rules.
01:08:26
You can't be so drunk that your story doesn't have a beginning, a middle and an end and being the crucial part always.
01:08:33
And please be local and give up whoever's waving that up there because there's no fucking way we're waiting for you to come down here.
01:08:41
Sorry. Okay, who has a hometown? Oh, got it. Do you want to do it? No. Yeah, I'll pick her.
01:08:48
Who's her? Her? Waving hands. Or maybe him. I don't have my glasses on. Yeah, yeah, you.
01:08:53
Yeah. Go to Vince. I really hate that. It was so easy last night because after the speech, one person raised their hand.
01:09:06
Oh, yeah. Can we get the audience lights down so she doesn't have a panic attack?
01:09:10
Yeah, thank you. It's fucking terrifying. It's very scary. It's very scary to see all of you.
01:09:13
It really is. I'm sorry I interrupted you because I was so scared about the lights.
01:09:19
I don't care. What were you saying? I don't remember. Just that only one person raised their hand yesterday.
01:09:25
I am. Yeah, it was easy. Hi. Hi. Alex. Nice to meet you. It's Alex, everyone. You're a beautiful lady.
01:09:37
You are you. It's terrifying. You're going to do great. It's Alex, everybody. Say hi.
01:09:46
Where are you from? Faisenstoke, which is about an hour away from here. Wow. Are a lot of people from there?
01:09:54
I didn't think so, but apparently so. Or they just love it. Is it awesome? No. Oh.
01:10:04
Okay, what, do you want to tell your story? Yeah, so it's the murder of a gentleman named Tristan Lovelock.
01:10:12
It's probably like the only really famous murder in Bays and Stoke. That's good, though. That's good.
01:10:18
Yeah. And my relation to it is that these guys are the same age as my mom. My mom grew up with them.
01:10:25
So, yeah. God, this is scary. I know. You're doing great. Nice. nice move so basically
01:10:38
a gentleman is out in South Ham which is in Basin Stoke it's a bit of a rough area of
01:10:44
Basin Stoke and his dog is alerting him to something in the bushes so he goes over
01:10:50
and he finds the decapitated head of Tristan oh no love lock yeah he's 67 years old
01:10:55
so how he didn't die from a heart attack I don't know but you mean the guy walking the door
01:11:00
yeah not the head sorry sorry so um they track um numerous body parts around south ham and uh track it to a particular
01:11:16
house and there's only one tenant and his name is richard markham yes who gives a shit just go with
01:11:25
that's right so they track it to his house and um basically uh it comes about that they were out
01:11:34
drinking, probably more than drinking, probably drugs as well, out with friends.
01:11:40
She says it under her breath into a microphone. That's my favorite. And they go back to his house and they get into an altercation about a woman.
01:11:53
And he claims it was self-defense, but he basically picks up a hammer and just starts
01:11:57
smashing him in the head. Oh, my God. He claims that Tristan, who was the guy that was murdered,
01:12:05
pulled a World War II bayonet on him, and so he felt like he had to defend himself.
01:12:10
With a hammer. Yeah. So, obviously, after that, he dismembered him with a hacksaw,
01:12:16
spread his body parts around South Ham, and then proceeds... This is what makes me think they're on drugs.
01:12:24
Then proceeds to put his arm in the oven and bake it? yeah i'm not joking no i know
01:12:33
so after this wait why does he do that drugs oh got it okay i don't know i want a reason
01:12:43
tristan's arm not his own arm i'm not very good at telling stories no you're great it's definitely me
01:12:55
No, I'm with you. I'm here. Here we are. Last show, everybody. Last show. We can do this. We can do it.
01:13:03
So sorry. Go ahead. So after he's done all this, he then flees and goes to the airport.
01:13:10
He like give me a ticket to anywhere I don care where Like a song It like a glee moment in the airport And they give him a ticket to JFK
01:13:22
So he goes to New York, uses his own name, his own cards, books a hotel, goes out and does tourist things in New York.
01:13:29
He's right in Times Square. Obviously, back in Basinstoke, the police are going mad trying to find this guy.
01:13:36
And when they finally find him, he's sat in Central Perk reading a newspaper article about himself.
01:13:42
Oh my God. Dude. And then he proceeds to lift up his T-shirt and he has a Made in England tattoo around his navel.
01:13:51
Bristol! Yeah. And yeah, he gets sent into life in prison and that's the end. Amazing.
01:14:01
So good, Alex. Alex. Alex, everybody, she killed it. Thank you. I did. I love you.
01:14:11
So good. Great job. Wow. Great job, London. You fucking did it. Wow. Way to go, Alex.
01:14:24
Alex, thank you for bringing all that onto the stage. Yeah. We appreciate it. It a scary thing to come up on that stage but you did it She really did it Yeah she really did Thanks for listening to this quilt episode What That not what this is
01:14:43
We're stitching together the quilt episode. We're stitching words together and quilts together.
01:14:50
And yeah, thanks. Thank you. Good job, you guys. Hopefully everything where you are
01:14:56
is acceptable to okay. Let's not hope for more. Let's just keep the expectations
01:15:04
nice and low. 2020, keep the expectations nice and low. Keep your expectations low and your arms locked in a
01:15:13
chain, a human chain, and you will get through this together. That's right. Oh, also stay sexy. And don't get
01:15:19
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