00:00:00
This is exactly right. Isn't some far off concept? It's already here. Next starts now.
00:00:33
Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. When a charming neurosurgeon rode into Frontier Town
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selling a persona of confidence and care, patients trusted him. He wore cowboy boots in the operating room
00:00:45
and became sought after by patients. He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies.
00:00:51
This is a story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice. Listen to Dr. Death the Cowboy wherever you get your podcasts
00:00:58
or binge the entire series right now only with Audible. Goodbye. Where does summer take you?
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00:01:35
Hello and welcome to My Favorite Murder, the mini-sode. That's right. That's Karen Kilgara.
00:01:49
And that's Georgia Hardstark. It's the same people every time. It's the same intro every time.
00:01:53
we don't change it up we know how important predictability is these days comforting it's
00:02:00
comforting to hear the exact same thing every week comforting and it's empty it's like mcdonald's you
00:02:06
know what it's going to taste like it doesn't feed you in any way you know you're gonna that's
00:02:10
what we're all about you're gonna feel a little bit bad at the end of it but also like comforted
00:02:15
yeah wait are these pickles brined in formaldehyde what is that what's best okay all right what is
00:02:23
All right, then. I don't want to know. 500? Well, okay. But that barbecue sauce, man.
00:02:30
Might as well do it. Get that hit. You want to go first? Let's do it. Okay. This one says, just in time for Halloween.
00:02:38
Hi. My great, great, great, great, and then in parentheses, probably more greats, uncle,
00:02:44
was the minister at the execution of Sarah Good. My many greats uncle was the assistant minister in Salem, Massachusetts during the Salem witch trials.
00:02:55
Arguably, one of the most famous trials belonged to a woman named Sarah Good. She was one of the first three women to be executed and accused of witchcraft.
00:03:03
Sarah was accused of cursing two young girls, the reverend's daughters, after they came home from playing and began convulsing and acting strangely.
00:03:11
The girls accused Sarah and two other women of bewitching them, although the girls later retracted the statement.
00:03:16
The current theory is that the girls ate magic mushroom-like fungus, which caused the odd behavior and the convulsions.
00:03:23
Sarah was an outspoken woman of a lower economic status after having inherited the debt of her previous husband.
00:03:30
And because she required help from her neighbors and didn't always obey societal norms, she became a target of the church.
00:03:36
Although she repeatedly denied guilt and the girls retracted their accusations, Sarah was sentenced to death on March 25, 1692.
00:03:43
In July of 1692, Sarah, along with four other women, was hanged. Up until the last moment, Sarah loudly proclaimed her innocence.
00:03:53
My uncle, during this time, kept trying to forcefully get Sarah to confess, but she wouldn't.
00:03:58
Legend has it that as she walked to the gallows, she yelled to my uncle, I am no more a witch than you are, a man of God, and if you take my life, God will give you blood to drink.
00:04:09
Whoa. that was the like that was the fuck you of back then it took so long like as you were yelling it
00:04:18
out your cart i'm no more a witch than you are uh and then it says or i am no more a witch than
00:04:27
you are a wizard and if you get and if you take my life god will give you blood to drink either way
00:04:32
he died of a brain hemorrhage while choking on his own blood hey i mean so stay so stay sexy and
00:04:38
don't trust great uncles, Madeline. We don't really hear about like people's relatives who
00:04:44
were bad. We always hear like my grandma was amazing or this, but it's like my uncle was
00:04:48
kind of a dick. Yeah. Let's hear it because we all have them. I mean, look, you're not
00:04:54
alone. She's like, she's taught, she made this whole email about Sarah Good and meanwhile
00:05:02
her uncle is the villain. Yeah, I love that. It's hilarious. Yeah. Well, thank God
00:05:06
religious fanaticism has isn't a thing anymore. It's completely disappeared. Or we would all be.
00:05:13
People aren't hiding behind the cross and using the Lord's name in vain every GD day of their life.
00:05:19
Thank goodness we don't have to drink a bucket of blood. Well, you're not going to believe this one.
00:05:24
What? This is that too. What? Yeah, here we go. You're going to read the same email.
00:05:32
Listen to my version. Okay. in honor of spooky Halloween season, of course, written out perfectly.
00:05:40
Oh, it says, hello, MFM team. In honor of spooky Halloween season, I thought I would write in to tell you about my wicked New England family history.
00:05:50
And then it says, bad joke, but not sorry. How do you say wicked and... Never be sorry.
00:05:55
Wicked the musical No like a Bostonian Oh wicked I see Like a new england or um this is not slang we didn grow up with slang like that we don fornia um while doing research on our family tree
00:06:09
several years ago my mom stumbled on an interesting branch where the cause of death was listed as
00:06:14
hanging thinking this was strange she did some research and found out that we are actually
00:06:18
descendants of one of the 21 people murdered for witchcraft in 1962 in Massachusetts.
00:06:25
Do you mean 1692? That's exactly what I mean. Good. I'm glad. That's good news. Although I wouldn't be that surprised.
00:06:33
Okay. Her name was Sarah Wilds, and she was my 10 times grandmother. Fun fact, my immediate grandmother's maiden name was also Wilds, so the name stuck around
00:06:42
for a while. And let me tell you, she was wild. It stuck around for a while. Sorry.
00:06:49
Karen, with the puns, we've broken her spirit. It's her own rule, and she can't abide by it.
00:07:01
She was a badass. After her first husband's death, she took over their large property, managing the tractors and farm, making her own money, etc.
00:07:09
She made no apologies for being a woman in a position of power. And as legend goes, she wore, quote, brightly colored scarves, which was apparently not OK back then and pissed everyone off.
00:07:21
Are you sure we're not talking about Steven Tyler? Because this is I know this story.
00:07:25
I've seen this behind the scenes. It's got to be already envied and judged by the community.
00:07:31
A neighbor wanted to borrow her tractor. And for whatever reason, she told them no.
00:07:36
Ultimately, her strong will was what led to her death. The neighbors reported her to authorities, accused her of witchcraft, and the town demanded she be arrested.
00:07:45
Her son, and it's Ephraim Wilds, which is a cool name, Ephraim, happened to be the town constable and refused to arrest her, claiming his mother was a godly woman.
00:07:56
Unfortunately, she was still taken into custody and hung on July 19th, 1692, at the age of 65.
00:08:03
And after this event, the Wilds family went north to southern Maine, where we've been ever since and where I was born.
00:08:11
Shout out to all my Maine murderinos. Woo! I am proud to come from a long line of strong, powerful, unapologetic women instead of murderous uncles, probably.
00:08:21
This is the other side of the argument. That's right. It may have been Sarah who started all the badassery.
00:08:26
Stay sexy and research your family tree, Caitlin D. I mean, that is fascinating to find out your relative.
00:08:33
was a Salem witch, a murdered Salem witch. Or accused. Accused, murdered woman. Amazing.
00:08:41
That's got to imbue you with a little bit of that chutzpah. Also, I would look through
00:08:46
my parents' house for a secret book. Absolutely. Don't you think there's a secret book of spells somewhere?
00:08:51
I mean, out of 21, one person had to be a witch. No, I'm just kidding. That's not true at all.
00:08:55
But still, what if they were? And there's a secret book in the attic. Which crap is cool.
00:09:02
Attic. What did you what do you call it? Addict addict. Go up to the addict and look for a book.
00:09:08
Go up to the addict in your family and be like, yo. And say, I know you have a book of spells called cocaine. Give it to me.
00:09:16
I want to see the future. Give me some acid. Let's let's do hallucinogenics. OK, my second email says just begins with a simple.
00:09:27
Hi, friends. You asked for neighbor stories and it broke a memory I'd almost entirely forgotten about.
00:09:33
When I was 14, I was walking home from my friend Fran's house. Little girl named Fran.
00:09:39
Is that what you're thinking of? Little Fran. Fran. Little Fran Drescher. Fran. It's just a little girl that also looks like she's 58 and runs like an office.
00:09:51
She's an office manager. Oh, my God. The fucking little Fran. The shoulder pads on Fran.
00:09:56
Fran. And she kind of has a tight perm. Yeah. You know, it's just it's no muss hair because she has to get up and go every morning.
00:10:02
That's right. And she always has lipstick on her teeth, even if she's a little girl and shouldn't be wearing lipstick somehow.
00:10:09
Fran, you smell like coffee, but you're seven. Fran always has Tic Tacs. That's what I love about her.
00:10:14
I was walking home from my friend Fran's house. This is every story. This is what every story I tell sounds like.
00:10:20
It's just me being like, anyway, I was walking home. Okay, sorry. As I rounded the corner of my street, I saw, tucked behind a hedge, a policeman fully armed with a rifle.
00:10:30
Now, this was in Newcastle in the UK. In the 90s, we did not see very many armed police around.
00:10:37
So that's a big reveal for a story where here in America, we're just like, uh-huh.
00:10:44
There's just guns laying on the street. You just pick them up. The new trend is just to bring an AR-15 into Subway, just to show people you can.
00:10:54
So we're firmly placed in England. Now we know for a fact where we are in the world.
00:10:59
For a split second, we just stared at each other. And then he asked, where are you going?
00:11:02
I replied home and pointed to my house. He hissed, go. And off I trotted. As soon as I was inside, I, of course, shouted up the stairs that there were police with guns outside.
00:11:12
By the time my mom, dad, sister and dog had assembled upstairs to get the best view of the street, the entire road was filled with armed police, dog handlers, police cars and flashing lights, all pointed at the house directly opposite ours.
00:11:25
My mom, who happened to even be nosier than I am, focused her binoculars. Oh, my God.
00:11:31
This is the best scene. The dog is there. The entire family gathers like it's Thanksgiving.
00:11:37
It's the best. But to rubberneck out the window. She focused her binoculars and spotted the guy who lived over the road up a ladder in his garden waving a gun around.
00:11:47
But just as things were getting really interesting, a policeman with a megaphone shouted at us to get away from the window.
00:11:54
Oh the shame He like you guys are not being cool and chill Hey can that family of five kind of clear the shooting area if you would Can they make it not a direct fucking shot into this family please
00:12:07
I noticed that you pulled the dog into the gun sights. We'd love for all of you to actually leave it.
00:12:14
Can you not hold your daughter up so she can see better, please? Screaming human shield.
00:12:19
Okay. We heard a lot of shouting, barking, and more shouting, and we figured that the police would be too distracted to spot us again.
00:12:26
So we went back to gopping out the window and saw our neighbor being grappled to the ground
00:12:30
as he pleaded for them to call off the dogs. He got carted away and things quickly settled down.
00:12:37
The next day, my mom did some local detective work slash gossiping, found out that the man over the road had a drug problem.
00:12:43
And that day he had been tripping off his tits, thought people were coming to kill him.
00:12:48
And sorry, he'd been tripping off his tits and thought people were coming to kill him.
00:12:52
It's not as exciting as we'd imagine, but still the most exciting thing to happen for me in the whole of 1994.
00:12:58
Anyway, thank you for being my favorite podcast. And that's a favorite with a you.
00:13:02
I've been listening since the beginning and you've kept me company through the good times and bad.
00:13:07
I guess all that remains to be said is stay sexy and don't drop acid if you have a firearm in the house.
00:13:12
Rachel. For real. Good advice, Rachel. What happened? Did he move back in? I want to know.
00:13:19
Probably not. Well, I bet you got sober and then got it together because that's that's a pretty, pretty classic bottom getting up on a ladder with a gun in England. You're done for. Yeah. Yeah. Once the cops, the cops get called on you legitimately. It's time to sober up. I'd say so. Yeah. Just just for a change of pace, because you've got you've gone as far down that hallway as you can.
00:13:41
You've got your great story to tell at AA. You might have one of the best ones. And that's part of the not fun of going to AA.
00:13:50
But it's part of the, you know, get on top of the heap with this is how fucked up I was.
00:13:56
But then definitely stop before you harm yourself or others, for sure. That's right.
00:14:01
No one wants to hear that. Okay. This one's called Gave Birth While Listening to MFM.
00:14:06
What? Ladies, animals, and mustaches. Let's get into this. I just finished the live San Diego episodes, and when I didn't hear any of my familiar hometown stories, I knew I had to write in.
00:14:18
It would have been a mega bummer to do live, so I get why it wasn't covered. Thank you.
00:14:23
17-year-old Chelsea King, a track star who loved sunflowers, was abducted on February 25, 2010 from a park in Rancho Bernardo, a suburb of San Diego, just south of Lake Hodges, where she went running regularly.
00:14:37
I couldn't find an article stating this, but I remember that she went running in this park after school one afternoon, which was a totally normal thing for her.
00:14:44
When she didn't come home as expected, her parents went looking for her. They found her empty car in the parking lot of the park she regularly ran in.
00:14:52
And after a short search called 911 when they couldn't find her. I fucking remember this one.
00:14:57
I was 22 when Chelsea went missing and I was working at a Starbucks in nearby Rancho Penasquitos.
00:15:03
And she writes, good luck pronouncing that one. Thanks. Not even offering me. Doesn't even give you, yeah, there's no, not even a hint.
00:15:11
No. Okay. I vividly remember a dad from the local high school coming in frantically with missing posters
00:15:17
and asking my manager if he could post them in the window to spread the word. Of course, she said yes.
00:15:22
The park Chelsea was taken from was less than 10 miles from where we lived at the time and
00:15:26
is literally down the street from where my parents live today. A few days later, police arrested 30-year-old convicted sex offender John Albert Gardner
00:15:35
III on suspicion of rape and first degree murder after police recovered his DNA on some
00:15:40
of Chelsea's clothing found in Lake Hodges shortly after she went missing. Two days later, Chelsea's body was found buried in a shallow, watery grave on the shores of
00:15:50
Lake Hodges. Gardner was also linked to and due to a plea agreement, eventually confessed to the disappearance,
00:15:57
rape and murder of Amber Dubois in 2009, who he kidnapped while she was walking to her
00:16:02
high school in Escondido, California. She was raped and stabbed to death. Gardner also
00:16:09
admitted he grabbed Chelsea off the trail in the park and dragged her to a remote area where he raped her
00:16:14
and strangled her to death before burying her body on the shores of Lake Hodges.
00:16:19
So like during the middle of the fucking day, you know, it's just so hard to like, you wouldn't say
00:16:24
like, no, don't go running today. It's fucking three in the middle of the day in a park
00:16:28
in the middle of a small, small town that you do all the time. It's not like remote. It's so awful. My husband and I just bought our
00:16:36
first home in Escondido, California. A few years back, they renamed the bridge that goes over Lake
00:16:41
Hodges on the I-15 as Chelsea King Memorial Bridge, which I drive over many times a week.
00:16:46
I always think of Chelsea and the King family when I journey over it. To tag my subject line,
00:16:52
I was induced two weeks early and was not at all ready to give birth. We had all the baby stuff
00:16:57
since it was our second daughter. But as someone with moderate to severe anxiety, I thought I had
00:17:02
a whole two weeks to prepare, mostly mentally, but also physically. And I was not ready when my
00:17:08
doctor sent me to the hospital to be induced. Luckily, I knew I had my girls, Karen and Georgia,
00:17:13
to get me through my long labor. I don't remember the specific episodes I listened to while in the
00:17:18
hospital, but I do know that I laughed loudly along with you ladies while my husband snoozed
00:17:22
on the shitty hospital bed slash couch slash chair thing during the day and a half before I
00:17:28
was ready to push the baby out. I acknowledge that his couch may have been uncomfortable,
00:17:33
but I also snorted laughing when he tried to get sympathy from me about how uncomfortable
00:17:37
his sleeping situation was. Tell that to my vagina, I said. And then she says, short story
00:17:44
long, baby Violet was born on October 5th, 2019. And you ladies were there with me figuratively,
00:17:50
figuratively, not literally. Gross. And made me laugh so hard that my nurses were asking what I was listening to in my headphones Thanks for helping me stay sexy while I made my own murderino Brittany and baby Violet I love the name Violet It cute
00:18:05
It's really cute. That's wow. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent.
00:18:15
The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14. Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense,
00:18:22
rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust. Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation, and Hyundai doesn't either.
00:18:29
Hyundai has always moved the future within reach. Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle.
00:18:35
Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability. And Hyundai continues doing it every day.
00:18:41
From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far-off concept.
00:18:47
It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye.
00:18:52
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Quince.com slash MFM. Goodbye. Okay, here's my last one. This one's a grandma email.
00:21:05
Okay. And I won't read you the title of it. Well, hello there. Just a quick doting.
00:21:11
You just a quick doting. You are all amazing. I listen every chance I get, usually on my commute to work where I look like a weirdo laughing alone in the car.
00:21:21
This is not a hometown murder, but I heard you like grandma stories. So here's mine.
00:21:25
My grandma, Brenda, is in her late 80s and fiercely independent. She doesn't want help with anything and will gladly tell you to fuck off if you do.
00:21:32
Grandma. That's right. I can't wait to be a cursing grandma. Oh, wait, I don't have any kids.
00:21:42
A cursing old aunt. Yeah, it's it's just so good, though. It's like at that point and which is kind of where I am myself.
00:21:51
Who gives a fuck? Who gives a fuck? You did it all. You did it with the amount of assholes we now know are in the world.
00:21:59
Yeah. Why wouldn't you be if someone tries to impose their will on you? It's just like, guess what?
00:22:04
Fuck you. Full of strong opinions and a no nonsense personality. She does what she wants and I love her for it.
00:22:09
A few years ago, she was living with my late grandfather in a rural area of Ontario, Canada, now living with my parents in a granny suite, much to her dismay, where she loved to.
00:22:20
Oh, sorry. That was parenthetical where she loved to walk her dog Rocky around in the bush.
00:22:26
One day she went for her walk and didn't come back after two hours. Usually she would be back within an hour at the latest.
00:22:32
This worried my grandpa. So he called the police to report her missing within an hour of that phone call.
00:22:37
Rocky showed up home alone. Oh, my God. A search team was sent out to look for her.
00:22:43
After four hours of searching, they found her waist deep in a swamp. What? She'd walked into the swamp and then continued walking, thinking she could get out, but ended up sinking and getting stuck.
00:22:56
When they finally found her, they asked for her name, to which she responded, just call me stupid.
00:23:03
Oh, how embarrassing. fortunately she was okay with a mild case of hypothermia which was treated overnight in the
00:23:11
hospital she has since decided to stick to the paths on her walks i think my gra i thank my
00:23:16
grandma and my mom for my true crime interest starting from a young age watching colombo and
00:23:21
murder she wrote with them on sick days from school you folks are the best and i love laughing
00:23:26
along to your podcast um like the weird third wheel that isn't a part of the conversation i
00:23:30
hope to see you live one day. We hope to see you, too. Stay sexy and don't walk your dog alone in a swamp.
00:23:37
Emily. She just was like, gotta keep going. Brenda's like, fuck this shit. I'm not going backwards.
00:23:45
That's the one thing I've learned in all my 80 years. You don't go back. You just fucking plow through. Stop complaining.
00:23:52
And she's like, her legs are just cementing more and more in the mud. Have you ever had that
00:23:57
happen where you step in mud like at the edge on. Yeah. And you it sucks. There's like a sucking situation that happens where you get
00:24:05
cemented in there. Oh, God. And then to be like found and be like, this is so fucking embarrassing.
00:24:11
Just Yeah, that's me. I've been standing here for four hours. Hypothermia. Oh, that's so sad. I'm glad she was okay. I'm so glad she's okay. And I love that.
00:24:21
I just love it. Such a good story. Thank you, Emily. That was great. Okay, my last one is a
00:24:25
neighbor story. I'm not going to read you the title. It might be one of my favorites.
00:24:30
Ahoy, ahoy. Ahoy, ahoy. I just finished listening to Minisode 196 and was inspired to send in my
00:24:36
Halloween neighbor story. When I was a little kid, about eight, I was traumatized at Universal
00:24:41
Studios. Stephen couldn't probably relate because my cousin and I walked into the mummy experience
00:24:47
not knowing what it was. Oh, eight years old. Turns out it was a walk through a maze where people dressed in mummy costumes
00:24:58
scare you. No one gave a shit that I was eight from that day on. Anything remotely resembling a haunted house scared the shit out of me.
00:25:05
Steven, have you been in that? Is it scary? No, that's for Halloween horror nights,
00:25:09
but the ride itself is really scary because it's like a roller coaster and you're like,
00:25:13
like the mummy screams at you and everything. No, I don't. And you're in the dark.
00:25:17
It's one of those Universal Studios roller coasters that's indoors. So you're like you cross a hill.
00:25:23
The mummy like beetles come out of the mummy's eyes and then you just drop into blackness.
00:25:27
It's pretty. Is that the one I'm talking about, Stephen? It's so fun. I love it.
00:25:32
It's fun, but it is legit. But it's scary. Yeah. OK. So an eight year old. That's terrifying.
00:25:36
Oh, my God. No. And then she says Halloween was no exception. When I was 10, my mom took me and my best friend trick or treating a few blocks down
00:25:44
the street in the Beachwood Canyon area in Los Angeles, which we know and love. I remember there was one house she was particularly excited to take us to.
00:25:55
When we arrived, we saw one of the most elaborate haunted house displays with flashing lights
00:26:00
and high-end decorations. You get the idea. At the entrance of the haunted house, a man dressed as a circus ringleader with a mask
00:26:08
covering his eyes excitedly invited all the kids in, promising full-size candy bars at
00:26:13
the end of the maze. I gave no shits about said candy bars and begged my mom not to make me go.
00:26:20
My best friend had already gone through twice flaunting her delicious Milky Ways in my face,
00:26:25
but I refused. All caps. At this point, I was fully sobbing, screaming at my mom,
00:26:32
please don't make me go. I don't want to go. That man scares me. My mom, getting frustrated,
00:26:37
said to me in a loud whisper, for God's sakes, Randy, it's just Bill Pullman in a mask.
00:26:41
was it's just bill pullman in a mask at that point the circus ringleader took notice of my
00:26:47
baby panic attack he approached me got down to my level and removed his mask it was bill fucking
00:26:53
pullman no from such movies as well of course there's while you were sleeping the great sandra
00:26:59
bullock rom-com with bill pullman where she's supposed to be in love with peter gallagher
00:27:04
who would never be brothers with bill pullman in the world uh he's the hot brother bill pullman's
00:27:09
down-to-earth furniture maker brother. It's the most romantic movie. It's about people actually
00:27:14
falling in love. There's legit chemistry between Bullock and Pullman. Watch it today.
00:27:19
Pullman, classic. He's like one of our great actors, unless he's Canadian. He's just great.
00:27:24
I think he's American. I also think that he has the side looking at you out of the corner of his
00:27:30
eye because he can't admit that he's looking at you move down of like, he's not overtly shy,
00:27:36
but there's a kind of he's stealing he's a glance stealer. He's perfect for rom-coms
00:27:41
in my opinion. He's like an everyday man but there's something charming about him There a real pull and they in the center they played that perfectly where he was like remember he like a cop And then he also there a dominator that like stands on his neck or whatever Right And of course that right And of course none other than Spaceballs
00:28:00
He's fucking incredible in that movie as well. Of course, all things come back to Spaceballs.
00:28:04
Always. Always. Bill fucking Pullman. He had the warmest smile I've ever seen and told me,
00:28:11
It's okay. I'm a nice guy. See, it's just me and my buddies having some fun. Bill Pullman didn't make me walk through the maze, but instead took me by the hand and walked me
00:28:20
straight to the exit of the haunted house and let me take whatever full-size candy bar I wanted.
00:28:24
Yeah, that's right. His friendliness gave me courage and I ended up going through the maze three times that night.
00:28:30
It wasn't too scary. Growing up in LA, you see a lot of celebrities. In my opinion, Bill Pullman is by far the nicest
00:28:38
man in Hollywood. Stay sexy and go watch your favorite Bill Pullman movie, Randy, with an
00:28:43
I. Yes. I just love the line. For God's sakes, Randy, it's just Bill Pullman in a mask.
00:28:50
It's like all your favorite line. Also, what if, you know, he said, it's just me
00:28:53
and my friends trying to have fun. Yeah. What if the entire cast of Spaceballs was inside that
00:28:57
haunted house? Fucking Joan Rivers. And she's like, skip me to the end. I don't want to look at
00:29:03
John Candy dressed like a dog. oh my god oh it's amazing uh you know yeah oh i was gonna say it feels like people are really
00:29:14
people are really putting their hearts into um halloween this year there just seems to be lots
00:29:19
of real good halloween content did you see the one where it is like it's like somebody made a
00:29:23
puppet out of one of the 12 foot skeletons no i think it's even bigger though than 12 feet no i
00:29:28
keep getting i cannot stop getting tagged in instagram on those and says show this to karen
00:29:32
show this to Karen. I bet you she's already seen it. I will not start inundating
00:29:37
her with texts of shit that she's constantly getting tagged in. I mean, you can.
00:29:40
I won't be mad ever seeing any 12-foot skeleton. Maybe I'll do a wrap-up every day of the ones. I just want a bigger
00:29:47
than 12-foot. I think 20 is the goal, and I wish that those existed. I feel like that can
00:29:53
be done, right? I think by next year at Men's, we can be selling them on the website.
00:29:59
Merch. 20-foot skeleton merch. 20-foot skeleton. for next year. Perfect. You think that 12 foot one is good? It's bullshit. I want to hear Halloween
00:30:09
stories, of course. But I also want to see here when you met a famous person and like what it was
00:30:15
like. And, you know, the experience was it good or bad? Bad? That would be great. Do you want to
00:30:22
hear my Martin Sheen story right now? Definitely. You've already heard it. Oh, but it was when I
00:30:26
I was in the commissary on the WB lot and he walked up and tapped me on the shoulder in a packed commissary.
00:30:34
So everyone's getting lunch. I'm just standing there waiting for the other writers that I work on a show with.
00:30:39
I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around. It's Martin Sheen dressed as the president from West Wing.
00:30:44
He has his napkins in his neck. For the makeup. For the makeup. Yeah. And he says, excuse me, where are the utensils?
00:30:51
Oh, my God. And I went, they're right there. And he just, he went, thank you. And walked away.
00:30:56
I'm not kidding. There were probably 80 people in that commissary at that moment, and he chose my shoulder to
00:31:02
He was hitting on you. That old utensil line, Karen. We all know. I should have seen it coming.
00:31:09
Oh, my God. That's crazy. See, if you can beat that story, and I bet you can, write in and let's hear it.
00:31:16
Let's fucking hear it. Oh, I love it. I walked into Angelina Jolie once. You, like, bumped into her?
00:31:22
Yeah. Back when she was married to Billy Bob Thornton. Billy Bob? So it was a long time ago I was really young I was in the Borders That was right by the the center Yeah right by there It just walking around looking for books And I see Billy Bob Thornton in my section I like whoa And then I turn a corner and Angelina Jolie and I fucking smack into each other
00:31:43
Yes. And I was like, sorry. She was there. I've never seen a face that beautiful in my fucking life.
00:31:50
She truly is hands down just the most beautiful hot woman of all time from America.
00:31:56
Oops. It was like a face that was like, well, you can't do anything else but be an actor because
00:32:00
that's not a face in life. like that's not a like that's not a face you'd see just like at the grocery store you're too
00:32:07
beautiful no it's extraordinary extraordinary beauty which also is like just think for one day
00:32:13
what it's like to walk through the world where basically as you walk in the world people turn
00:32:18
and go like oh like what a weird sensation that would be for you as an individual because of your
00:32:25
beauty yeah yeah that would be she i bet she appreciated your it was a fresh experience to
00:32:30
just get smacked into and like have the person walk away. Did you make a noise? No, did you go?
00:32:36
I'm so sorry. We both were like, Oh, so sorry. You know, it didn't make a big deal out of it.
00:32:39
She was so down to earth. Yeah, it was very embarrassing. But yeah, she was fine. And just
00:32:44
I was in that same borders. And this was embarrassing for me. I don't know what was I
00:32:50
was doing. But I think I was in some section and I read a book. I can't remember what it was. And
00:32:57
it made me the title made me laugh out loud. And then I just kicked the book because it just was
00:33:02
something really it might have been like the men are from Mars or from Venus. Yeah. And right as
00:33:06
that was happening, my friend came around the corner. I didn't know he was at the bookstore.
00:33:09
What the fuck are you doing? Alone in an aisle laughing at books and kicking the covers like a
00:33:18
fucking lunatic. I love that you get so mad at like a properly mad at a misogynistic book that
00:33:25
you'd kick it. Yeah. Well, it's just not going to help anybody. It's not going to bring men and women together, books like that, where it's like, we love,
00:33:35
women love to make you sit in a cave, and men love to fly like eagles. What are you doing?
00:33:40
This is why you can't fang love, you old fucking witch. This is why. Maybe if you just shut your mouth and like to fly like eagles more.
00:33:49
That's right. What this show brings out of people is passion. pure and fucking solid. I've lost my mind. I can you tell I've just been at home.
00:34:02
Bridger came over yesterday because I hadn't seen anybody in person in a really long time. Yeah.
00:34:07
So he came over and swam. And then I was like, Oh, what if we go to CVS and get nerds ropes?
00:34:13
He was like, Okay, what? And we drove there. Have you ever had nerds ropes? The candy? No,
00:34:19
it's insane. You know, like the sour candy, how all the sour candy is crazy. And there's all these
00:34:23
different you know it's own section at the drugstore there's nerds rope so you remember nerds
00:34:30
yes of course i love them they're amazing well they stuck a bunch of nerds onto like this sticky
00:34:34
rope that's kind of like gummy yeah like a fruit roll-up kind of but with like it is dude
00:34:41
it's exquisite i'd never known but it was like the biggest deal to get i just don't leave the
00:34:47
house very much i really don't leave the house very much totally understand well i'm glad you
00:34:53
It makes podcasting much more fun. Yeah. This is like our only social interaction.
00:34:58
Seriously, I want to tell you every story I can think of. Let's do a two hour mini song.
00:35:05
One time at the Beverly Connection. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to think of who else.
00:35:10
I know I've seen famous people at all kinds of things because that's LA. But then it really does happen all the time.
00:35:16
It really happens. When you're in the industry. So I feel like you kind of. But out in life as well There are certain parts of the city where famous people just are because that like where they shop or that right You know they going to dip in for one second if they can get in and out easily or whatever
00:35:31
So it does happen to you, you know, like, oh, there's more than so and so. But you don't make a big deal out of it unless it's someone like that.
00:35:38
That's if you make a big deal about it, you're kind of basically saying, hey, I just moved here.
00:35:44
Right. Totally. I just got here. I'm kind of green. Hey, I'm a total mark. This is how embarrassing.
00:35:49
You know, at the one time, what's his name from Mr. Show? Bob Odenkirk? John Ennis.
00:35:56
John Ennis. John Ennis was the reporter. They do that sketch where they show where they're keeping the workers and they're in like stalls like animals.
00:36:05
And he goes, the stalls were filled with pee-pee and poo-poo. That line made me laugh the hardest of any Mr. Show sketch.
00:36:13
So like in the early 2000s, when my friend Doug Jones was first taking me to Largo.
00:36:18
That's like how I figured it out. And he was like obsessed with Mr. Show. Doug and I went to El Coyote and he was there with his family.
00:36:26
And Doug was like, I don't fucking ever do this, but I just need to tell you I'm such a fan.
00:36:30
Like we didn't have phone cameras yet on our phones. So it wasn't like that. And it was with his family.
00:36:34
And he was the loveliest. And he seemed a little stoked that he got recognized in front of his family.
00:36:40
Absolutely. Like early 2000s. John Ennis is the kindest person in the world. The funniest person in the world.
00:36:47
So hilarious. and he really is one of the most talented actors I've ever seen. You see him and he just was in,
00:36:55
he just was playing a security guard in some, some movie. And then when, then we went,
00:37:01
but he's, yeah, he's one of the best people of all time. All those guys. Totally.
00:37:08
Okay. We really, we wrung it out this time. This is 35 minutes. We're almost 36 minutes.
00:37:14
Send us your stories, guys. You're who's, you're whom's who, We are running into people.
00:37:19
That stuff. All of it. Yeah. We want to know. Yeah. And also stay sexy. And don't get murdered.
00:37:26
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That's stitchfix.com slash murder. Goodbye. Bye. If audiobooks are your thing, or if you've been meaning to listen to more of them,
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00:38:54
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00:39:13
Goodbye.