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Guys, today we're very excited to be sharing the network premiere episode of Lady to Lady, the newest podcast that we're adding to our Exactly Right family.
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Lady to Lady is hosted by three stand-up comics and real-life best friends, Babs Gray, Tess Barker, and Brandy Posey.
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And each week they invite a special guest to play sleepover games, answer advice, and delve into ridiculous tangents.
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Upcoming guests include Beth Stelling, Annalee Ashford, and Sona Movsesian. The Exactly Right premiere episode features Karen Kilgara.
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New episodes are every Wednesday. Plus, they have 300 back episodes with tons of amazing artists.
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Enjoy the Exactly Right Network premiere episode here and then head over to Lady to Lady for a brand new episode out today.
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Subscribe to Lady to Lady on Stitcher, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. If you like what you hear, write the ladies a review.
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And follow them on Instagram at Lady to Lady Comedy on Twitter at Lady, the number two Lady Comedy and on Facebook at Lady, the word to Lady Comedy.
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Goodbye. I'm Babs Gray and it's a good day when you find out it isn't your Backstreet Boy that's into QAnon.
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I'm Brandy Posey and I can assure you these skeleton gloves are strictly professional.
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I'm Tess Barker and if food is bad for you it should taste good and this is Lady to Lady
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can you keep a secret? neither can we we got Barbara Brandy and of course Big Tess
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we got a show for everyone that's the fucking best come on baby it's time to hang out
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with your favorite ladies ladies to ladies Ladies and ladies. Oh my gosh, you guys, we're here!
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We did it! Oh my god, we made it through the road trip. We got all the snacks. We have arrived.
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We are on Exactly Right. Absolutely. So excited. The last episode of the podcast.
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We did it. We're at the very end. We're all done. We're doing one episode on Exactly Right, and that's it.
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we're so excited to be on the network and we're so excited to have our first guest co-host of the my favorite murder podcast karen kilgariff oh hi everybody
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oh my god you guys shipped in children for me yeah absolutely yeah we have a tiny drawer of them
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yeah it's a subscription service the cutest little children cheering for me yeah we checked
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We did the COVID test up their noses before recording, too, every single time. Good.
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That wasn't cheering. It was crying. Yeah. You're just like, got your nose. And then that means you tested it.
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Their nasal cavity. Yeah. If you took their nose away, could you get COVID? You know what I mean?
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I think so. Yeah. Because all the, what do they call those things? The droplets?
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All the droplets would go further without the nasal cavity. All right. We don't need to talk.
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All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.
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They're droplet talk. I'm trying to figure it out. That's fair. That's valid. I'm not a scientist.
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We're getting to the bottom of it. Thanks for sitting through our theme song. We decided to bring back on Zoom.
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We're playing the theme songs in person again. And it's really fun because we're really just holding the guest hostage while they listen to bad songs that we've made.
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It's my favorite part of podcasting is when the guest doesn't know when to come in and makes weird noises or says one word or fucks up the intro.
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I do it every time where I'm just like, wait, you just said a thing. I need to say the thing.
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I don't care if anyone said my name before. Totally. Well, and the songs on Zoom really add another special level because it's also us like all
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kind of dancing, but not looking at the screen because it would be weird to make eye contact
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with you. If we stared each other dead in the ice. That'd be too Silence of the Lambs.
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We're just like, dancing right into the camera. I say that as a person who's been to both a silent disco and one of those like 7 a.m.
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dance parties that we went to. I actually can't believe I've only been to half of that with you.
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I've been to both. I've been to both because the silent disco was at a Taco Bell influencer house.
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What did it smell like there? You know, you know what it's like. It's a combination of beef, cheese and, you know, lettuce in each room.
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And some kind of like geo for men. like some kind of bad cologne yeah yeah yeah there was a mountain dew blast cologne for them yeah oh
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god oh my gosh a baja blast it's the only thing that takes me to taco bell i love it it's my
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favorite soda it was like they rented this house in silver lake and to like roll out the grillers
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remember the grillers which are now off the menu i just love the idea you know that was like a two
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year project there was a project manager about the grillers rollout like there were so many serious
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meetings, I'm sure, about this party. They had a meeting at Taco Bell where they were like,
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how can we compete with 7-Eleven? They've got those rollers. We need to go up against the
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rollers. We need a food that's circular and that can get stuck on some kind of round grill all day
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long. Yeah, exactly. But can have its like coagulated grease kind of showcase by the lighter
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above said roller. Yes. I mean, that is the thing about 7-Eleven is I guess you don't get that as
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much because when you're going to a fast food place, it's all hidden back there. But 7-Eleven,
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they're like, no, we're displaying it. We want you to see every inch of this shiny hot dog.
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Look at what you're picking. Look at it. Frankly, I respect their transparency. I like to know that pizza has been there for hours.
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Thank you so much. I will still buy it anyway because I have depression. I remember when I went to buy a pizza there once and the guy didn even tell me not to He just did this little shake of the head like he was Almost like he knows the camera on him and he can say the words out loud
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He's just like... It was like someone had a gun to his back, but he was just like...
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Don't do it. Don't do it. So did you do it? I did, of course. You still did it. She can't be told.
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Barbara Gray cannot be told. I can eat anything. I am a garbage disposal. I was like,
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you think this is going to take me down? Absolutely not. But what if he was trying to tell you he's the one he's like,
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I keep rubbing that on the front of my pants. Like he's trying to tell you. He's the one that's been there.
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Again, not a deal breaker. Is it a clean uniform? Yeah. I really think he was trying to like be kind to me and be like,
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as a person who's been here for the past six to eight hours, I don't think you should do this.
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And I was just like, this is ageism. I will eat this pizza. I don't care how old it is.
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Honestly, frankly, I'm impressed that your 7-Eleven worker cared that much. Our 7-Eleven, Tessa and I live near each other.
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It changed over to new owners about a year ago. And now it's just run by apathetic.
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There goes the neighborhood. Apathetic teenagers are running our live. We used to have a great staff.
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We used to have a really solid team over there. Now that teens are on their phone, they don't care.
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I love it when like a big a big chain says under new management because you're like what
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what happened over here it's a 7-eleven I don't I don't come here for the customer service it's
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never been a part of it you make me serve myself in almost every capacity don't worry about the
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management yeah you'll see those big banners outside one it's like what was happening before
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Oh, God. I don't want to know. You're still not going to let me use the bathroom, right?
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So who cares? Exactly. Are you going to change the way you hand me back my change for my five Gatorades, three string cheeses and a candy bar?
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Like, whatever. OK, I will say I've talked about this before, but I'm a huge I love 7-Eleven.
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It's honestly one of my favorite stores, period. It makes me feel so safe. Like wherever you are in this great nation, like if you can find a Seve, you're going to be all right.
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Like it has what you it's like a first aid kit for America. True. Yeah. Yeah. It's like if Starbucks went like did a lot of Molly is what 7-Eleven is kind of what it feels like.
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I mean, I feel like 7-Eleven has been around before Starbucks, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
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Because we had a 7-Eleven near my grammar school and we weren't it was a school rule.
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You were not allowed to go to 7-Eleven. So I was just like breaking this rule in five, four, three.
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And going in there was it it was like because it was forbidden. It was like every every sense was heightened and every like every item you had every item memorized.
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What I love is since, you know, say I was in junior high, they have really developed the jerky aisle and the jerky gummy aisle where that used to almost not exist.
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like maybe you got some at the end of the aisle is like the specialty you know slim jims hanging
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down in a row but now it's almost like they're trying to say oh for all of you vegans or all of
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you people that like care about your carbs come around the corner from like the all the different
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kinds of snickers and you can get you know i don't know peanuts imagine like do you like to chew but
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you're tired of gum well have we got you well come to aisle three i have to say i my boyfriend i i
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was talking to him about gummy candies and i was like you know peach gummies and he didn't know
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what they were and it was like a weird moment yeah where's he from yeah where's he he's from
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upstate new york yeah yeah oh they for sure have peaches in rochester they have it was one of those
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things where you're like did we grow up in like an alternate universe how do you not know what
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peach gummies are. Do you prefer the O's or like the solid ones that are like little rocks you could
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skip across a pond? Solid, solid ones taste a little better. I like an O. I grew up on O's.
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Oh, this is some West Coast, East Coast shit. Okay. This is, you know what it is? There's a
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tactile, I do love both because peach is kind of my favorite gummy candy flavor. The Haribo
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kind, which are the solid ones, are just like the first time I had that I was just like,
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Mary speak to the chef, but those rings, it really, it's like you're eating a truly like
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you're eating plastic, which is part of what I'm in it for in the whole gummy area. Because
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when I was sorry, but when I was in sixth grade, I got a Hello Kitty pen and pencil set with these
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erasers that smelled like fruit. But it was like they smelled so good that I would just hold them
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under my nose like all day, like the weirdest girl in class. And my fantasy and then sometimes I would
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bite on them if nobody was around. And my fantasy was why doesn't Hello Kitty come out with the
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razors you can eat. And then truly like that year, gummy, gummy candy was shipped to America
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like in 82, where I was like, Oh my god, my dreams, I'm manifesting. So I feel like gummy
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rings are really going into that area of like, you're probably not supposed to eat this.
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but you can. They feel very plastic-y. Because just the flat part, you could at least kind of operate
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under the assumption that it's a dried fruit. You know, a circular O that resembles a binder sticker.
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Your brain has no illusions about it. Yeah, it has the mouthfeel of a keychain. It's like Florida 86,
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but you're eating it. Yeah, exactly. Okay, while we're on the topic of this, in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
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Is that the name of the movie? I always think it's like Charlie, whatever. There a few varieties We know what you talking about The original movie Yeah yeah What did you guys want to eat the most Oh the wallpaper The wallpaper But you only licked the wallpaper so you just wanted to taste the wallpaper
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Yeah, well, I think it's kind of what you were talking about, Karen, of like scratch
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and sniff stuff was like that for me. Like I always wanted to eat my scratch and sniff markers and stuff like that.
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So to me, the wallpaper was like the closest thing to that. Yeah. That makes sense.
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I think I always, when he has that buttercup when they're in the chocolate room.
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Same. drinks out of it he drinks it and then he bites it and then he bites it that's it that was totally
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it for me barb too where the first time i saw him do that and the look on his face i was just like
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could you imagine if you could eat tea cups like in the weirdest like as if that was what i'd been
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dreaming of all my life or just like you don't even drink tea what do you why are you this excited
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sometimes something just needs to click for you and you're like i didn't even know i wanted that
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yeah now that's all i want and now i buy things i don't want or need all the time
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pure imagination yeah yeah the chocolate lazy river was like a constant thought in my head at
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all times i was like oh if i could just tube through that and just i guess you could just
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be in a tube and then have like straws on either side if you guys want to go in a river that looks
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like that just go up to central california very fair yeah stockton sacramento they have a lot of
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rivers that look like that. I remember watching that, though, and being like, when Augustus Gloop
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goes into that river, and he's like, splashing around and gets sucked in the tube. I'm like,
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that's not chocolate. That's water. That's like, it's very watery. It's so watery that I was just
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like, that's not even a good chocolate river where it's like, I think just to abate my jealousy a
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little bit. I was just like, it's not what you're dreaming it is. So don't be that jealous of Augustus
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gloop dying in chocolate right now all right like i like the fact that this kid ends up getting
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suctioned up into a tube and you still had to quell your jealousy i was just like okay here's
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another weird fantasy slash fetish i didn't know i had calm down calm down i think that movie
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unlocked a lot for a lot of people oh yeah can i just say well let's talk about every scene but
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But there was something that really happened to me when I saw the four grandparents in one bed.
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And I don't know. I don't know what if it was discussed. I don't know it like attraction repulsion.
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I'm not sure. But it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen. It was also like, please tell me what happened.
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Did it happen to all of them at once? Like, was it a terrible car accident? Are they fucking lazy as hell?
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Like, how are grandparents just laying in bed all day facing each other? Then it's like they're also married to each other, but then in the same bed with another couple.
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Like everything about that was titillating, horrifying. Like what this is a fantasy world that's gone wrong.
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You don't think about that often, but they were their in-laws. They were very kinky.
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Very kinky. Yeah, absolutely. It wasn't that big of a bed. I was just like, do they sleep?
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Is this just like a, they don't have a couch? Every, I had a thousand questions.
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I think it was just that that's all they could, that's all they could afford. But then there is a whole,
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there's a really like anti-Grandpa Joe movement online. What? There is. There's a very.
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Lying down a notch. Yeah. People have tried to cancel Grandpa Joe because when. He's literally a fucking Roald Dahl character.
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God damn, you fucking assholes. but no because when he like when charlie shows up with the chocolates all of a sudden joe can
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fucking walk for the first time in like 30 years everyone's like this guy could have worked fuck
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them they're making him and his mom work all the time in the meanwhile he could obviously get out
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of that bed anytime he wanted so it's a whole thing and also he's the one who like fucks it up
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for them in the factory when he goes into the you know the yeah sorry i'm sorry grandpa joe is human
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a b do you know anything about inspiration where if you have if you're depressed and you have no
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inspiration then suddenly an eight-year-old comes in he's like i want a fucking contest you're like
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oh my god i'm digging it out of somewhere like he's a human being everybody exactly that'll be
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like oh i'm gonna back in the before time i'd be like i'm gonna stay in tonight and just watch
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reality tv and then i find out about an event that has like open bar or free food suddenly
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guess who can get dressed guess who can dig it out yeah i think my biggest my biggest grandpa joe
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moment personally i can i can recall was i was about to show my boyfriend friday night lights
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like for the the first episode and then i got a text saying tommy was oh was at a party that was
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from me oh yeah oh yeah it was texting me that tommy was i was at a party and i had that moment
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where i was like i have to i have to grandpa joe right now like i can't sit that's what it is it's grandpa joe
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but i've been i just to be totally honest like the reason this is making me laugh so hard is
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because for the past like eight years i've been grandma josephine-ing so hard where i'm just like
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nothing's getting me off off this couch slash bed slash weird sex thing with these other old people
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I'm staying in good luck everybody I hope you love it because I'm staying here regressed into
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Josephine that's where we all are and I will say I mean I feel like there were entire years in my
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20s where my friends and I were smoking so much pot that we grandpa and grandma Joe by default on
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a couch yes like it was just a sectional that we just didn't leave and we would just dominoes would
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bring us what we needed right I mean that that part of it is the fantasy part for me where it's
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It's like it would be just fun to lay in bed with your friends all day and just kind of
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let the world come to you if it chooses to. And then if not, you're just kind of in this little shitty house, you know, chatting about
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the old days or whatever. Like I don know It didn seem that bad Can we get Postmates on the line to do a commercial for them about this like hey what if grandpa joe what if they didn get the ticket and they just
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ordered food until they died you know that that is a video yeah that's a commercial we're about
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to see for sure where they like somehow cgi them into something they're like who really won who
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really won that day it's actually grandpa george and grandma georgina yeah i mean just just to play
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devil's advocate grandpa joe he got up he had to get dressed that was like a long day at the
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factory he had to deal with all those other asshole kids the other three they got to nap
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yeah eat soup hang out yeah and you know they shared the money when they came home but yeah
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they still moved into the factory yeah they didn't have to do anything that's right
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that that thruple they still earned it which is super unfair but you know life's not fair karen i would say this to the grandpa joe cancelers is that although he did
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touch the side the side of the fizzy burping machine or whatever it's called and fuck things
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up he did stand up to willy wonka and like yeah this is wrong of you i mean that is such a great
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speech in that movie and such a great performance and such a great moment of like to break a little
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boy's heart you know what i mean like he really did he grandpa joe'd himself throughout that
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tour and throughout that whole day it was pretty is billy wonka really is it grandpa joe's story
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hey have we just been looking at it from the wrong perspective i think it's it's obviously
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veruca salt story and it always has oh yeah i'm gonna be very candid i'm gonna be very candid that
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is absolutely the character i relate to the most oh test that's the most obvious statement i've ever
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heard in my life you've always been a veruca salt oh like yeah i i have no patience i yeah i mean
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and you know for the most part it's worked out like pretty well i don't like live in an era where
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i need to have a lot of patience no quite the opposite all right we have to take a break but
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Should we tell Karen what the special thing that we did for joining? Oh, yes. Before we get a break, we found out that we could officially become ladies on the internet somehow.
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In what country? Scotland. Scotland. And guess what website we found this on, Karen?
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Scotland.com. Goop. It was a goop thing. I forgot it was on goop. Yeah, we bought ourselves goop lady titles.
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We each own three meters of land in Scotland, and we're officially ladies. Holy shit.
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You guys are marketing geniuses. We wanted to come correct to exactly right. Hell yeah, you better come correct.
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So yeah, someday we will go there and do a show on those nine meters of land. Yeah, we each stand on our own respective meter.
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Like stand on a chair, and then someone gets on your shoulders. Exactly. I clearly have no idea how big a meter is
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we're going to find out we will find out how big our parcels of land actually are
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it's amazing congratulations to all three of you ladies thank you so much thank you so much Karen
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we'll take a break be right back hey hey everybody welcome back to lady to lady i'm brandy i'm babs i'm tess and we're here with
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all right karen um this is very exciting because we've been doing the podcast for a very long time
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and we do like a fun little game with our guests in the second segment and we decided to unveil a brand new game
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for you on this episode. Great. It's serious. New game, new theme song. Everybody, let's roll.
00:22:09
Worldpreneur. Business. Please be advised. Questions. Business questions. Are we moving the needle?
00:22:21
We've got some business. Pull up a chair. Would you like some water? business questions
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I don't know about that one don't doubt business questions please thank you I think it's a bop
00:22:35
Karen you're like a legitimately really talented musician and we're like just a little something
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we put together but you know I have a song called business situation so do you oh my god
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I'm right there with this whole theme I'm about it okay perfect I think we sensed that
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we were like Karen will be a good one to break the business. What if we had just completely ripped it off
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and you're like, what the fuck? You're doing like acapella four-part harmony where I'm like, this sounds familiar.
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Okay, so yeah, we have some business-related slash interview questions just to get to know our guests a little bit better.
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So how about you just tell us a little bit about yourself to start off? Great, thanks so much for asking.
00:23:19
Yeah, first of all, I'm really happy to be here. I'm glad we could all make this time work.
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Um, let's see. Definitely went to grammar school and junior high, um, and graduated.
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And then I went to high school, graduated, um, which really delightful experience.
00:23:37
Uh, um, went to Sacramento State University, flunked out, um, after a year and a half.
00:23:43
Thank you. I was really proud of that. Great. Parents felt good about it. I wasted tons of their money.
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I attempted to go to junior college after that many times and failed all of those times.
00:24:00
kind of I knew it was a perfect fit to not go to school anymore for me. And so what better way to
00:24:07
celebrate my total inertia and laziness, but to start stand up comedy. So I did that. And, you know,
00:24:16
through a series of amazing events and happenstances, I got myself into the position of
00:24:23
being a professional podcaster. So you know, there's some stories in between, but we only have
00:24:29
what three more hours in this interview so i think that you can save them for the second round okay
00:24:35
great very impressive if she gets through if she gets through yeah yeah um tell me your biggest
00:24:42
weakness i guess my biggest weakness is how strong i am um the strength yeah strength wow i've never
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heard that answer before that's amazing wow i know we like what kind of strength because i think i
00:24:55
I can like squat, you know, a decent amount of pounds. But like what kind of strength?
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I hate that word because it describes it perfectly. Squat. It's so dead on. And it's onomatopoeia.
00:25:10
My strength comes in sheer volume of my voice, which is I'm starting to learn over the years, not in my control.
00:25:19
So I think that's great if like I'm ever lost in a parking structure. I can solve that really quickly.
00:25:28
And then just, do you see this fucking mosquito? Oh, no. Oh, no. I didn't get it.
00:25:36
Other than that, I think, yeah, just kind of my dedication to never changing my mind or listening to others, I think, is really the shape of my strength, I would say.
00:25:52
It is. It is like, you know, as a fellow loud person, big voice person, it is a weird moment where
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I think that thing about yourself as I get older where I'm like, oh, these are just things
00:26:04
about myself that I know might be annoying to other people and I just have to be okay
00:26:08
with because this is not. Yeah. This is who I am. Because you can't help it if you were just born a bit much.
00:26:15
Thank you. Thank you. That's you. Lady Gaga song. We're not saying that about you.
00:26:22
I was born a bit much. Five, six, seven, eight. And a one, a two, and a three. You know what's funny is I remember being somewhere and everybody, it was a job or some kind of thing where everybody else was very soft spoken.
00:26:37
And I don't know why I was fucking there, but I was trying to. And I remember it dawned on me and I was probably like in my mid to late 30s that there were people who weren't raised with people in their house yelling from four rooms away.
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like there was never not somebody my dad was constantly like turn off the bathroom light like
00:26:57
there was always that vault like reg I think I've told this story a ton of times but my dad used to
00:27:03
answer the phone and when it would be for me I'd be like hello and my friend would be like oh sorry
00:27:07
are you in trouble and I'd be like no what are you talking about it's just that my dad's like
00:27:11
hello hold on a second he's always yelling always so it took me a long time to realize that like as
00:27:19
that my loud girl status although there were times where i was like i wish i was shy or whatever
00:27:24
and then it just kind of like sorry it's like the way i was raised it feels necessary to me
00:27:29
yeah i've been i've an interesting combination of both because my house was like a quiet house
00:27:34
growing up but my best friend across the street was a loud house like everyone yelled in her home
00:27:38
so whenever i'd go to her home it was like a yelling home and then i'd come back to mine
00:27:42
and it was like quiet all the lights are off and it's dark like and nobody's here
00:27:46
home that's why you can go adapt to any situation brandy i'm a chameleon i don't know who i am
00:27:53
that's why if like everybody anybody gets in fights if i yell it was very normal in my family
00:28:01
because my there's a lot of bullshit going on yeah so like i'm like oh this is just something
00:28:06
we come back from but that's not how everyone acts you know so i didn't you don't know that
00:28:11
and i'm like for me this is just normal but yeah people i also on top of that like i'm half deaf
00:28:16
so there's that and then also like my siblings and I are essentially a pack of hyenas like we
00:28:24
all have the same laugh and the same exact sense of humor so when we laugh it just becomes this
00:28:29
chorus of jackals and we all just escalate each other and I take that out to the real world with
00:28:34
me that's just how I love it and you don't adjust it I mean that is one of my first when I think
00:28:41
back to the time where you guys asked me to do the lady to lady live show which is when I very
00:28:45
first started doing standup again and I was like well this is exciting like a live podcast I had no
00:28:50
idea what was going on or who you guys were or whatever and like I first of all when I first met
00:28:55
you I was just like cool girls okay good thank god like whatever but then one of the first funny
00:29:01
things that happened on stage and Tess started laughing and I was just like holy shit it was
00:29:07
my favorite because you don't the fact that you don't try to change it at all is my favorite thing
00:29:13
you're just like no this is what you're getting the end yeah yeah i i don't i don't care if it's
00:29:20
the senior citizen talent show like i'm tap dancing and i'm bringing jazz hands in there
00:29:23
will be more choreographed hell yes yeah thank you what was that show was that san francisco or
00:29:29
was that something was that not sketch fest uh maybe it wasn't the i thought the first one i did
00:29:35
was at that like wolf pack theater whatever that one was oh that's what it was it was and then you
00:29:40
do that one another one later yeah yeah that's joe wenger came on and did characters and there
00:29:44
was all kinds of shit going on where i was just like guys i'm back guys comedy comedy friends
00:29:51
comedy feelings yeah that was a good that was a good time yeah um yeah well Now I sad Karen can we Well it over now
00:30:08
Let's get back to the interview. Good. I agree. No, it's great. It's really great getting to know you like this.
00:30:14
But what kind of work environment do you like best? I guess a cave. Oh, that sounds nice.
00:30:22
I like a little cavernous space. I do like, you know, what's funny if I'm actually really working. And when I think of that, it's usually writing or something, something laptop based where I'm just kind of like focused in. My favorite thing is I know that I'm kind of like in the flow, please forgive me for using that term. But like, I'm in it. When the everything like all the lights go down, the sun goes down, everything gets dark, and I'm just like in the computer.
00:30:50
That's my favorite feeling of like actual kind of creative, like the creative thing is happening and I'm in that trance and I don't really know how much time has passed.
00:31:01
So, yeah, I think if it's small and warm and there's like some carpet and it's not too like I cannot stand fluorescent lights.
00:31:09
I make me ill. So, yeah, I think like warmth, earth tones are nice. Small kind of smallness is nice.
00:31:19
and uh and I do like quiet for being a loud person you know there's yeah there's so many
00:31:26
contradictions in me um which I think is one of the more fascinating things about me I'm still
00:31:32
doing the character still trying to do the character no we're coming in and out it's perfect
00:31:38
do you not do you write with silence or do you write with like white noise or classical music
00:31:42
or something sometimes I do classical music but then if you get like I'll try to do some kind of
00:31:47
like a, you know, sleepy time playlist type of thing. Because if you get into the wrong classical
00:31:52
music, it's like suddenly you're like, Oh, I better turn this in. I'm like, you realize you're
00:31:56
panicking because you're just acting along to the soundtrack in your head. So I try to do like the
00:32:02
other day I had something to do and I found a spa playlist on on Apple Music. And it was hilarious
00:32:08
because there was no it was like that, you know, those kind of weird, it sounds like just general
00:32:12
keyboard noises where it's like whatever where there's nothing to focus on or distract you but
00:32:19
it's kind of definitely filling filling the space um so things like that but uh yeah that or just
00:32:27
nothing i have to have that too i can't like i can have like some shitty tv going on in the
00:32:31
background but i cannot really when you're writing you can have tv on um not writing no if i'm doing
00:32:36
work graphics work and stuff like that not no writing is for sure i can't have any other words
00:32:41
like around me. Correct. Yeah, same. Yeah, yeah. I think in a perfect world, I'd have a theremin player
00:32:46
that just played. But that's just for all your Halloween scripts. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
00:32:52
I'm just a little spooky all the time. This is Gustav, my theremin player. That's good.
00:32:59
If you're just playing Halloween haunted house noises. It's my favorite. Just random screaming.
00:33:06
That's my favorite artist. Can I recommend to you guys, I have this app called Ohmriter.
00:33:10
this is like a legit recommendation and it's like four or five bucks but it plays like pretty music
00:33:14
and it takes up your full screen with your word processor so you can't see anything else
00:33:18
and the sexiest part about it is when you type it makes like an exaggerating typey sound
00:33:24
it's so nice it does sound the music with it it sounds like something yeah you'd like hearing
00:33:31
because it does have that kind of like it's kind of that like flowy like womb noise or whatever yes
00:33:36
Almost like if it's filling up, like the feeling of having your ears filled up. So then you're not, it's the opposite of a TV on where you'd be distracted and start
00:33:48
concentrating on something else. It's like you can't concentrate on anything else.
00:33:52
I love that feeling. Exactly. Yeah. It's like putting one of those dog cones around your brain.
00:33:58
Yeah. Ohm writer. Okay. I like it. I started getting into, I mean, getting into, I went to like one sound bath or whatever before
00:34:04
all this shit happened. I love a sound bath. they're they're so good for that and i'm i'm going to joshua tree in a few weeks and i was like man i
00:34:12
would love to do that but covet is too crazy so i'm like at that point where it's like all right
00:34:16
are you gonna invest in a crystal bowl or like what's about to happen wait barb will you explain
00:34:22
to me what a sound bath is just because i'm not totally so it sounds like something you like it's
00:34:26
it's in a lot of those spa playlists and stuff but it's like a crystal bowl that they kind of
00:34:30
i don't know what they're using to make the sound but they do move something around it various ones
00:34:35
and they all have different tones and they do they kind of fill up the room but if you're in
00:34:38
person it like makes your body vibrate it's really crazy it kind of sounds like if a wind chime was
00:34:44
really high yeah yeah yeah that really like whoa whoa whoa sound kind of okay i think i like
00:34:53
and it's like this is really like hippy dippy but like you can do you can like youtube sound
00:34:58
bass and those are cool too but like when you do them in person you can feel the vibration of the
00:35:03
sound in your body oh yeah it's really cool the last time i did it really felt like i was like
00:35:08
floating afterwards it was pretty crazy that's very cool i went to one in vegas like two years
00:35:14
ago because i was performing at punk rock bowling um and like i was there for four days and it was
00:35:19
just like a festival all-day festival thing and like the third day i woke up and i was like i need
00:35:23
to be in a quiet place that isn't in the sun and then i found like a weird way way way way way off
00:35:29
strip like hippie shop that was doing sound baths that day and then i just like took a nap underneath
00:35:34
of a brass pyramid oh my god that's a perfect vegas like fix okay fix up it fixed everybody say
00:35:41
what's your favorite public nap you've ever taken this is an interview question karen okay
00:35:49
i did fall asleep in a bowling alley once and that felt good that very loud it that like you being an infant where like loud noises actually make you fall asleep They kind of do I can definitely like I can go I can go hard if I need to
00:36:05
Why did you fall asleep in a bowling alley? I don't remember. I just remember the sensation of being like, this is weird and falling asleep.
00:36:11
This is weird. I'm leaving. And then you just put your head down. I have zero other context than I know it was at a bowling alley.
00:36:20
i'm trying to think because i also i'm the same way where i can i can sleep whenever i want and
00:36:30
if i'm tired i just go to sleep and i kind of don't have a ton of control over it it's like
00:36:35
so i've definitely slept in like i've slept through so many like movies at the new art
00:36:42
kind of thing where i'm just like well i wish i was smart enough to know yeah kind of done that a
00:36:48
lot um god i mean beach nap is for sure i think my favorite snap is my favorite apple that is nice
00:36:57
now except for i'm very much fear um sunburn and that is like within 20 minutes i will be like
00:37:06
have to be rushed to the hospital for melanoma um yeah you just gotta get a pop-up thing you
00:37:13
got to get a little shade. True. Okay, that's solved. Now you're gonna get the job instead of
00:37:21
me because that was such a good idea. I think that the one that I enjoy the most is when you
00:37:27
fall asleep during a massage. Oh, yeah, that's the greatest like you get past the point where
00:37:32
like, Oh, I'm so sore or whatever my the reason was that I booked this massage. And then you get
00:37:38
to the point where you kind of like, it's the person putting their hand on your back and going
00:37:41
like okay that's it you can get dressed and you're like what that hasn't been like that's my favorite
00:37:47
because you know then you're then i actually relaxed exactly yeah i've scheduled some relaxation
00:37:53
and actually done it yeah i did a float tank once and i don't know if i fell asleep or not but i also
00:37:59
don't know if i was awake well you you officially lost time i think you got abducted yeah that's the
00:38:05
Did you have your wallet at the end? There was nothing in it. You spent it all on the float tank?
00:38:14
Yeah, basically. I don't know if this is my favorite public nap, but it's my most memorable.
00:38:20
When I was in high school, I used to take classes at the junior college, like after school and in the summer and stuff.
00:38:24
And I was so tired studying for finals that I fell asleep on, you know, whatever piece of grass, the quad or whatever.
00:38:30
And I woke up because that junior college was doing a production of The Crucible.
00:38:35
several cast members were dressed as pilgrims in the quad to like promote the show so i like woke up
00:38:50
in the middle of the sunlight in public to a bunch of pilgrims swarming around me
00:38:54
did you think you time traveled for like half a second we're like oh shit yeah it was so
00:39:03
disorienting because I already was like sleeping in broad sunlight and then to have pilgrims in the
00:39:07
mix it was a lot one year uh we went to Disneyland for like senior all night Disneyland bullshit that
00:39:16
I don't I already don't like most of what I just was talking about and it was like you get there
00:39:23
at 11 and you and you leave at six in the morning or some insane shit like that yeah we did that too
00:39:28
yeah great grad night I guess or whatever they call it yeah and at around like 1 30 a.m I was
00:39:36
just like well I'm gonna sleep on this bench because I'm not like we've walked all around
00:39:40
I've already been here several times like this isn't new or fresh all these like packs of seniors
00:39:47
are walking around like I don't know if people were expected to like socialize I don't know what
00:39:52
the fucking point was but I was just like this sucks and I laid down and went to sleep and I
00:39:57
remember there was a couple of people that walk by be like oh that's really fun where i'd be like
00:40:00
compared to what i'm not gonna pretend like i like big mice like what are you talking about
00:40:05
this is stupid as someone who went to that same i went to that same grad night at disneyland uh
00:40:11
and here's what you did wrong here's what you didn't do drugs cocaine because yeah
00:40:16
because i did ecstasy that night and it was truly one of the happiest nights of my life like
00:40:22
There's nothing like being on hard drugs on the Peter Pan ride. Nothing. Oh, shit.
00:40:28
That would be amazing. Yeah. Damn it. I just took it at face value like a goddamn idiot.
00:40:34
But the good thing about that is I am in an interview right now, and I don't do drugs.
00:40:39
Oh, that's a great point. Hey, tell Barney. You know what you didn't do. Wait. We were talking about the float tank.
00:40:47
Did we ever talk about that update we got from the girl who runs one or not? Oh, no, we didn't.
00:40:52
We should we should. Where is that? Let me find it real quick. Let me find it real quick.
00:40:57
Is it bad news about float? We had been wondering about if a guy jizzes in the float tank, if they can tell.
00:41:05
We had a little inquiry. Not in the white ones. But there is someone who runs who runs them somewhere.
00:41:12
And she had let us know. I mean, they must drain them, right? At least to clean them.
00:41:19
They have to. No, they do. But she said it's very obvious, basically. when it happens and that uh yeah it's a different it's like a oil and water uh yeah not to put too
00:41:30
fine of a point on it but uh she basically said yeah it's very easy to tell oh yeah here it here
00:41:37
it is um okay hi love y'all but couldn't help but mention i own a float tank in louisville kentucky
00:41:42
weightless ky in case you ladies live in louisville fun float tank jizz uh float fun
00:41:48
float tank fact. Jizz is not water soluble, so it's easy to spot. Dudes who decide to ignore our liability waiver and cleaning fee are immediately shamed tarred and feathered on the way out the door Nice Come to Louisville and we give you the VIP treatment
00:42:05
So we solved that problem. Now we we know. Yes. Yeah. You don't have to worry about that.
00:42:11
Yeah. So I say I'd say we can put a pin in that for later. Yeah. We'll hit up that float tank when we're allowed to.
00:42:19
Yeah. Yeah. OK. OK. Last question. You know, we always like to end with this. just, yeah, what questions do you have for us?
00:42:27
Oh, yeah. First of all, what's your pension plan look like? Oh. We give out free pens, and that's it.
00:42:35
Yeah. So this is a pun-based company. Okay, well, that's a huge bummer for me. Yeah, I mean, it's the gig economy.
00:42:49
Yeah, okay. Pension plan. here's our pension plan it was bad it was bad what's his fuck
00:43:01
oh my god what's his fucking name he's a singer Eddie Rabbit whatever he has you all said someone different
00:43:11
he has that song 24 karat what the fuck Kanye West Bruno Mars thank you he has a really bad pun in one of his songs where he says like why don't why don't you come to the
00:43:25
penthouse that's where i keep my pens so i'm just saying wasn't as bad as that you stole the joke
00:43:31
from you stole from bruno mars and it was worse and it took me too long to figure out who he was
00:43:36
so it really all right well we're gonna figure out barbara's punishment we'll be right back
00:43:50
Hey, everybody. We're back on Lady to Lady. I'm Babs. I'm Brandy. I'm Tess. And we're here with Karen.
00:44:03
Hi. Hi. Okay. We're going to do a lady problem. Let's do the theme song. And then we're actually going to do one.
00:44:11
Oh, we've got like three different themes to play now, I'm realizing. Wow. You're all theme train.
00:44:17
Let's do it. lady problems yeah that's pretty much it we pretty much say the words over and over again those are our songs
00:44:36
lady problems do you have them love it people have them it's like a horror movie
00:44:48
people have them so we started doing voicemail you know we're doing some from voicemails now and this is our
00:44:57
very first one from voicemail I'm gonna let me oh it won't let me do it because it's too long
00:45:01
hold on let me paste it in the chat too because it's kind of a long one to like listen to
00:45:05
sweet yeah and if you want to email us lady problems you can email anything to us lady to lady comedy
00:45:11
at gmail.com. If you want to give us a call, just so you guys know, here's the number.
00:45:17
3-2-3-6-but-30. It's 6-but-30 somewhere. That is 3-2-3-6-but-30. Give us a call.
00:45:30
That's the first time I've heard it. 6-but-30 B-U-T-T B-U-T-T 6-B-U-T-T-3-0 It's our phone number.
00:45:47
Well done. Thank you. Thank you. Pretty happy about that. Yeah, everybody, if you're listening, pop it in your phone.
00:45:54
Hey, just send us a voicemail whenever you're out and something crazy happens. Yeah, it doesn't have to be a lady problem.
00:45:58
It could also just be like a check-in, whatever you want. We're going to be using the third segment to kind of, you know, play those and all that stuff.
00:46:04
So, yeah, here we go. Hi, ladies. Lauren Vino, friend of the pod here, calling with, I don't know if it's a problem or nightmare or what, but I got caught creeping on someone's LinkedIn. I got rejected by a dude I'd never met, just passively swiping in quarantine, but it took it harder than I should have and was just looking for clues on his Instagram of, like, why I shouldn't put him on a pedestal, which was what I was doing.
00:46:35
when he rejected me. And I quickly found a very prominently featured ex-girlfriend
00:46:40
who was tagged, who had a public profile on Instagram. And you could see very easily without doing a deep dive
00:46:48
that they liked pretty much everything each other posted recently, which is a lot for exes who are even friends, in my opinion.
00:46:56
And it helped me spin this narrative of, like, she's not available. This wasn't a thing.
00:47:01
You're fine, kind of thing. But all of her pictures are of her Lamborghini. And all of his pictures of her tags were like her face was like weirdly obscured, like a child of a celebrity.
00:47:16
It was very strange. So I get in this rabbit hole of like, what does she look like?
00:47:22
And I go to his Facebook profile because I don't have her full name. and she's tagged in a profile picture pretty not far back.
00:47:33
Again, not a deep dive. I go to her profile, more labradoodle. But I have her name.
00:47:41
I Google it. I go to images. I click on a headshot. It's her LinkedIn. I see what she looks like.
00:47:47
It's fine. She's attractive. She don't look alike. She's got my evil twin. I can move on with my life.
00:47:54
And I don't feel good about this. But as the odds of me getting caught, I feel like her slimmed.
00:48:00
And then I get caught. He texts me the next day before coffee with a screenshot of her texting him, me looking at her profile.
00:48:13
And he's like, is this something I need to worry about? She's been stalked before.
00:48:18
And I apologize and own up to it. But, like, how did she know without creeping on me, too, and noticing that I had followed him for a week and liked a few things?
00:48:30
I'm pretty sure she's just as guilty as me, right? And also, like, how did you guys come back from something like this?
00:48:37
Because this whole thing just really wrapped my sense of self and was just, like, a huge shit show.
00:48:43
Like, is this me? Is this just a lesson of not creeping? How would you guys take all of this?
00:48:49
Because I don't know. Thank you. Love you guys. Oh, my God. The roller coaster of emotions that this took me on.
00:48:58
My upper back is so clenched right now for the stress of what she went through and put herself through.
00:49:07
Because you just never think you're going to get caught doing something like that.
00:49:12
Like, we've all taken. I've gone down so many rabber knit holes. That's what it is. It's a rubber net hole.
00:49:18
It is a rubber net hole at the end of the day. Yeah, and you know, that's what you do.
00:49:24
It's easy. It's accessible. It's there. And you don't think you're going to get texted a screenshot
00:49:28
that you looked at someone's LinkedIn account? That's the part that I get like a visceral
00:49:32
pit in my stomach is when she got the text with the screenshot. But can somebody clarify?
00:49:39
This was a guy she was about to go meet for coffee. It was someone she was kind of starting to see a tiny bit
00:49:44
and this was his ex. so she was just going like oh is this something i have to worry about and having a private
00:49:50
you know stalker area but just in a in a kind of like or was it always already over with this guy
00:49:58
it was already over she had been like seeing this guy for a couple weeks nothing major okay
00:50:03
broke it off and then and in my opinion she was well within the normal stalking time period yes
00:50:09
for sure especially after a breakup or after a kind of this isn't working out right yeah like
00:50:15
she said she still liked him she had put him on a pestle and it's kind of she was like looking
00:50:19
through his stuff and i think that's normal to see this and then especially if she saw oh they've
00:50:24
interacted a bunch like i shouldn't you know who is this person yeah yeah i don't think it's that
00:50:29
weird yeah here's my question um so i don't understand how so linkedin will show you who
00:50:36
looks at your profile yes yeah oh that's that is a good fact for everyone to know yeah and i think i
00:50:43
I feel so bad that Lauren went through this, but I think it's important that this information is out there for everyone.
00:50:47
Entirely. But you have to have LinkedIn Pro to see it, right? Or can you see anybody who looks at your profile?
00:50:52
I think you can see any. I think you get sent a notification when someone looks at your profile on plain old LinkedIn.
00:50:57
Because I remember doing it after I did a show one time. And one of the producers of the show, I just was like, oh, I wonder what else that guy's worked on.
00:51:07
And then did it. And then like a day later, someone was like, oh, yeah, they get notifications.
00:51:13
And I was just like, oh, and it was like, I've never even gone near LinkedIn again, because it is the it's that.
00:51:21
First of all, social media was invented so we can all stalk each other that we know that.
00:51:25
So even acting like, is it me? Am I weird? No, no. It's the only reason people are on social media. Married, 80 years old, doesn't matter.
00:51:33
Everyone's stalking everybody. That's what you're there for. it's just not fair because linkedin it's like it's like going it's like as though you're being
00:51:41
told someone's looking at your imdb page it's it's a fucking professional service what's the
00:51:47
purpose of that just to be like oh they looked at me so i should follow up with them yeah that's
00:51:52
creepy about it is it's like what are you gonna it's like a creepy guy finding a like seeing a
00:51:57
girl on tinder and then finding her instagram you don't want them messaging you there you don't want
00:52:00
to be like, hey, I saw you looking at me. Can I have a job? That's right. Oh, God, imagine.
00:52:05
It was clearly set up by someone who maybe is on the spectrum a tad or doesn't get interacting
00:52:11
in a way where it's like, no, no one would want that to happen. So you should that should not be
00:52:16
a feature. That should be a bug and you should fix it and get rid of it. But and also you should
00:52:21
absolutely warn people that this is going to happen because it would keep people from just
00:52:27
casually going, oh, where's that that one guy that was in my French class in high school? I wonder
00:52:32
what he's doing for a living these days. Totally. Which like it's a pandemic. We've looked at all
00:52:37
the French guys in high school. Yeah. Well, and also like at that point, the Internet puts you
00:52:41
in kind of a fugue state. So you don't even realize until after you're already on high school
00:52:46
French guys page how you got there. Yeah. It's like how sometimes you don't remember driving
00:52:50
home from places. It's like you're in it. Yeah, it's true. That's really true. Well, and also
00:52:56
sometimes if you have like an inquisitive mind too sometimes i'll see how far down the hole i can get
00:53:00
not to do anything but just to like it's exciting just to be a little tiny pi and just be like oh
00:53:06
look how resourceful and like out of the box i thinking right now and finding all this stuff like i don know it just kind of a fun game yeah it kind of just satisfying whatever curiosity comes up as you are sitting around also watching a Netflix series also doing this also doing that
00:53:21
But I think the extreme shame piece, which I'm totally relating to, is that idea that someone said, no, thanks, not interested.
00:53:31
And then she got caught continuing to be interested, which no one wants to be revealed as having been.
00:53:39
Ben, but guess what? It's what it's the truth. Like if you're the breakup E, then oftentimes
00:53:45
you're left with this leftover. Oh, but I was kind of still interested in this. I, I think we
00:53:52
should circle around though to talk about who in the fuck sees somebody checking their LinkedIn
00:53:57
and then is sending a picture to her ex to be like, can you get this girl away from me? Or it's
00:54:05
like you know what you guys need to go off together to a sandals resort and you him and
00:54:09
your labradoodle need to go fucking yeah have a giant family of labradoodles and barbados or some
00:54:14
shit we don't need you here and we certainly don't need you on linkedin and yeah absolutely
00:54:19
because i feel like that that woman really violated like girl code you know what i mean
00:54:23
absolutely she obviously surmised that that was going on it was over between her and this between
00:54:28
lauren and this guy so like why even send the even if you saw that no need to send that screenshot
00:54:33
Also, if I were Lauren, I would text back. It's not a problem on my end, but it looks like you're about to get back together with a total fucking psycho.
00:54:44
Enjoy your life. Enjoy. Enjoy. I think this is what she should do. She should just be like, actually, I was interested in hiring her for this position.
00:54:54
So you're using it for professional purposes. I have some pins that she could have made a nice retirement with.
00:55:01
Yeah, exactly. Do you see this ballpoint? I think she would be interested. Thank you.
00:55:05
She no longer is qualified for this pen. So I'm looking at it. So you have to pay.
00:55:12
You do have to pay to see who's seen you. And you all you have to pay to to not let to lurk other people privately and to let anyone see that to see who's been looking at you.
00:55:22
No. So I'm trying to get paid for shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like any of this.
00:55:28
Are you telling me that LinkedIn is blackmailing us? Yeah. just for having feelings and interests in others.
00:55:39
I've been, I don't know why, but this newest phase of quarantine has made me very oddly obsessed,
00:55:49
like hour to hour with my horoscope in a way where I feel like I need to keep on checking it.
00:55:56
Like, well, what about nighttime of this day? It's very strange. but one of the things that I've picked up on that other people say that I absolutely love
00:56:04
is that rejection is your protection have you heard people say that or it's no but I like that
00:56:10
it's like this idea that like don't get too caught up in this you know it's very easy to go in
00:56:15
microscopically and be like what did you say what did he do where's the text did it is these these
00:56:20
mistakes or whatever overall my uh my words to Lauren would just be pull back a little bit and
00:56:28
know that this guy is like you can judge him based on his exes she seems crazy he's probably
00:56:34
way crazier than you even know and this whole event yes you got your hand burned on this stove
00:56:42
but you never wanted to be anywhere near this stove in the first place it's a it's a really
00:56:46
bad stove yeah really get out of the kitchen lauren get out of the girl no not where your
00:56:54
places yeah i mean that's like her definitely her stirring some shit for sure like it's it's one
00:56:59
thing if she pops up like five or six times but like one time look is normal for anybody yeah and
00:57:04
also again that means that she was also looking at lauren's shit so yes entirely game she's yeah
00:57:10
who who is hunting and who is that who's the hunted lauren's not hiding behind any fucking
00:57:15
labradoodles all right so yeah she her face is on full display yeah yeah so yeah exactly can we i
00:57:22
I just want to shout out to the detail of saying that all of her pictures were weirdly obscured, like the child of a celebrity.
00:57:28
Yes. A perfect detail that we all got. And just kudos, Lauren. You're going to do great.
00:57:34
That was beautiful. Because it was beautiful. I really love the idea that you guys are doing voicemails because it's one thing to read an email.
00:57:40
But when someone gets to talk about their shame or their whatever in their own voice, I just love it.
00:57:45
And it makes me empathize so much more. We've all been there. humiliating yourself,
00:57:52
faving something that's eight years old on Twitter, doing that deep dive shit, everything just welcome to the brotherhood of man because this is,
00:58:00
everyone's done it and everyone has done it very badly. Well, I'll just, I'll get into my,
00:58:06
I did it very recently. I'm just going to say. You had an incident recently. I had an incident.
00:58:10
I had an incident. I had to reply. I had to give some like criticism that made me feel a little weird to give
00:58:19
because it was one of those things where I felt like I, I'd been sent something I need to get feedback on,
00:58:24
but it was so bad what was sent to me I was like are you fucking kidding me Like why do I even have to comment on this So anyway I had to like figure out how to say it as nicely as I could right So I wrote the email like five times and was like and kept going back Okay I wait over the weekend All right
00:58:38
I'll send it. And, and then I sent it. And then, you know, of course, you go back a few minutes
00:58:43
later, and you read it. And I read it. And I read it. And I was like, Okay, I think I did pretty
00:58:47
good. And then I'd pay I pasted some images. And then below those images was my old, my old draft.
00:58:55
the last more harsh version of the email was underneath. Yeah, I've done this. I've done this.
00:59:06
You have? Yes. The first and last time I wrote an email to someone that was like a fighting email where it was like somebody did something and I was really mad.
00:59:17
And then they sent me an email of like, look, I'm sorry, but, but, but. And I hit reply and started responding.
00:59:23
And then I kept rewriting and rewriting. and at one point and I so I was the first I had basically done a full vitriol pass and then I was
00:59:32
lightening it up and lightening it up and I was halfway through I was almost done but the back half
00:59:38
was not nice and I hit like return to go to the next paragraph and fucking sent it and then
00:59:46
ring ring here comes a phone call of like what the fuck and I was just like but the good the
00:59:53
The good thing was we ended up getting to a place where you could actually talk.
00:59:56
And it was for stuff like that. You should just be talking on the phone anyway. But it was the kind of thing where I was like, don't ever you draft that in word.
01:00:04
You get out of email entirely. Like, I don't know how I didn't know that. That's worse than mine.
01:00:12
So I feel OK. That sounds worse than mine. You have to draft that in email. You have to learn from yourself and your friends.
01:00:18
Like I now whenever I'm really gossiping, I'll put my phone on airplane mode. I'm going to do a side a side version of this.
01:00:31
And this is someone else's story. I won't say her name. I think she would be fine with us saying it.
01:00:36
You know her and love her too. But one time there was a guy she went out with and it was some it was like a Tinder date or whatever.
01:00:43
And then the date was over like it had just ended. and she took a picture of his profile picture
01:00:51
and sent it to her friend and was just like, dude, this guy was just so fucking hot
01:00:55
and blah, blah, blah. And she sent it to him. Yeah, she sent it right to fucking him
01:01:02
and then was just staring at her phone like, oh, I really was excited about this guy
01:01:06
and this is officially over right this second. Like she never heard from him again.
01:01:13
Oh, that's bullshit though. Yeah. I think it'd be like a nice compliment, but what a high compliment.
01:01:18
yeah but you know what i think maybe that's a like uh he's just not that into you moment right
01:01:23
because that wouldn't he have yeah of course but you don't want that news that fast you want to be
01:01:28
sure to 48 hours be like what if me and that guy or whatever and then you know slowly get ghosted
01:01:34
that's what we're all i know after the you had someone call you right after you did that email
01:01:39
thing but i had to make the i was like okay do i write back and be like hey sorry that was a
01:01:44
Did I mess up? Or do I just leave? I just left it because I was like, there's no coming back from this.
01:01:49
You have to stand by it. You can't double down. Yeah, because anything you do is only going to make it worse.
01:01:54
It's like when you try to fix your own manicure, you're just going to fuck it up.
01:01:57
Yeah. It's like it becomes like that painting where like they're trying to redo it.
01:02:01
It just becomes the horrible version of the face. The melty Jesus. Yeah. It just looks like a Rolo eventually.
01:02:09
Yeah, exactly. Smooth chocolate. Yeah. Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody. oh i actually also want to let the listener know i know this for a fact um soundcloud uh certain
01:02:20
soundcloud accounts if you listen to songs will let the person that put them up know that you
01:02:25
have been listening by your email address if you are logged in at the same time so keep that in
01:02:30
i think that's okay right because it's just like music it depends how creepy you're being i mean
01:02:36
i think there's a song written about you and you're not together anymore and you know it's
01:02:41
three in the morning you don't want that email to go out or if that's true if you're super into a
01:02:46
song and then you listen to it 72 times in a row like that exactly yeah yeah yeah that kind of
01:02:53
thing so just keep it in mind for everybody in the future these are great tips we have a lot of
01:02:57
good tips on this episode yeah letting everybody know god there's so many ways to humiliate yourself
01:03:03
yeah don't jizz in the float tank don't creep on linkedin don't creep on yeah the most creepy
01:03:10
thing i've ever done is when i was like when my play was in new york i was like seeing a guy at
01:03:15
the time not like barely seeing him but like you know into him and i went on my phone on facebook
01:03:21
to like promote my play to get people to come see it hit send i had accidentally posted on his wall
01:03:27
a promotion for my play for everyone to come see i feel like i've done i've almost done that many times where i've been especially searching on
01:03:40
Facebook when you like trying to like stalk someone and like almost posted the name Well when Facebook first came out there was a day where I was going back and forth with this guy that I went to
01:03:52
high school with who I adore and is still a good friend of mine. And my other friend texted me and goes,
01:04:00
and this friend is like a married man, you know, that like we hadn't seen each other in a long time,
01:04:05
but it was like that Facebook, like da, da, da, da, da, da, and going back and forth. And on my wall,
01:04:09
There was lots of other things and people talking on his wall. It was all me. It literally was like 25 messages from me.
01:04:17
And my friend texted me and goes, it, it, your, your Facebook messages are like red lipstick
01:04:24
written in a mirror. And I was like, wait, what? And then I looked at it and was like, oh my God, I don't, I'm just old enough.
01:04:31
Like, I don't understand a lot of social media. This was, you know, like 10 years ago or whatever.
01:04:37
And I was just like, I got to get off. Like I can't be using this half knowing how it actually works.
01:04:43
Right. That's right. Humiliate. The only okay version of that is like the old people who leave review,
01:04:50
like, like to leave weird messages on sizzler Facebook page and stuff. That's where you're like,
01:04:56
all right, this is good. That's the only version any of us want. Right. Yeah. Yeah,
01:05:00
exactly. Yeah. I think I might just need to get all the way off the train. Cause I'm in the same boat as you care.
01:05:04
And like, I don't care for it. I'm not good at it. I'm mostly just embarrassing myself.
01:05:08
and like, I'm not going to learn how to tick tock. I don't even know if that's how you say it.
01:05:12
And it's for the children. It's not like you have to every new thing that comes out, you have to go, oh, I'm this much
01:05:19
older. I'm an entire generation away. Like my niece sends me tick tock. She does.
01:05:23
And I don't know how to stop them when they're over. Like it'll just start again or it'll go into like the next tick tock that's waiting.
01:05:31
And I'm like, damn it. Like the next it's like my niece dancing and being cute. And then immediately a TikTok starts where a girl is crying into her phone where I'm like, I don't want to fucking watch some teenage girl crying and talking.
01:05:44
So infuriating. I'm like, oh, now I'm this person that just like, can you turn this VCR off?
01:05:50
Yeah. I'm like my mom who's like, Teresa, I don't have Google Maps on this computer.
01:05:54
OK. That's what the beautiful evolution of the show. okay the lady before we got to exactly right this was like our you know we're our late 20s
01:06:05
and we're just like getting fucked up and figuring it out and now we're ants who don't know how to do
01:06:09
shit and that's good we're just accepting it oh welcome guys welcome to the ants club i've been
01:06:15
here for a while yeah it's pretty fun we enjoy it's pretty good i love to be proud ants
01:06:20
and the embarrassment is fun too i think um that's another thing lauren has to remember is
01:06:25
It's painful now in three weeks. This will be the funniest story you have to tell.
01:06:30
Oh, yeah. It's already hilarious. Yeah, it's real good. Guys, I can't tell you enough how, especially being one of the first podcasts that I ever really like interacted with when I came back to comedy, which was such a very difficult, vulnerable and let's just I'll just say a horrifying time in my life.
01:06:50
and you guys meeting you watching you do what you do was really inspiring it was really welcoming
01:06:57
I felt like I got let in the side door of like your your comedy scene which I didn't expect I
01:07:03
was like I'm gonna do this by myself as the old lady and um so it's it's it means the world to me
01:07:10
that now you guys get to be on my podcast network it's like oh it took a long time
01:07:15
fucking paperwork sucks but ultimately i'm so so happy you're here yeah shout out to all the linkedin profiles that got us to this point
01:07:24
thank you we're really we're really excited and yeah it's gonna be great it's a good time
01:07:33
yay so um yeah stitcher premium and patreon peeps we're gonna go do the beef of the week
01:07:40
which is our new bonus segment that comes out on fridays where we kind of talk about our complaint of the week. It's like 10-15 minutes usually. So if you want to check
01:07:48
out what that is, we have all the information on our, I don't know, our shit. Go find it somewhere.
01:07:54
Yeah, you'll figure it out. You'll figure it out. You're good at the internet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're proud of you. Welcome. See you later. Bye.
01:08:01
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