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00:01:28
My favorite heart What's up, San Diego? Come on. Come on. First show. First show of the tour.
00:01:54
We got to get on it. We got to get our timing down. what i mean hi hi does this go up to the sky this theater
00:02:12
what a fucking you don't need that many balconies well that's why they have binoculars
00:02:20
we're not wearing these because we're these are a thing now they have binoculars that you could buy
00:02:25
in the lobby. That's how far away people are. Yeah. Binocular far. Do you understand how this theater
00:02:33
works? I'm already learning things about myself in this tour. Like, I don't know how to use a pair of binoculars.
00:02:40
Just a twisty twist until you... Twisty twist. Like so? Like that? No. What I love about these is I can see
00:02:51
exit signs so fucking clearly. Just what I'm here for. You're at the opera just staring at exit signs. Yes, I'm going
00:03:01
to escape that way and that way. Uh-oh. The problem with the first night of the tour is that you
00:03:08
realize you should have done so many things in the past month and week and day to prepare, and then
00:03:16
you're like, well, they won't see it, that my nails are disgusting or whatever. And then they have
00:03:20
binoculars and they can see everything. How about that? Can you see that? How about that? Let me see.
00:03:32
No, these are broken. Closer or further away? I can't see it. Like a thing. Should I walk over here and flip you off?
00:03:40
Truly, the list is long. It'd be kind of cool if we could start a trend of people wearing binoculars as necklaces.
00:03:48
pretend we all like it when it's actually quite heavy and bad on your spine and your eyes
00:03:57
you don't need to see anything that closely if God intended for you to see something that closely
00:04:02
you would have invented binoculars that's right and I'm so glad you mentioned God
00:04:08
Georgia because tonight it's all about the Lord that's why we're here raise him up all the way to the one two three fourth balcony yeah yes god bless you
00:04:26
uh oh i'm not wearing black i know talk like walk it across give it a real look at her this is the first fucking time i truly like like the walk it's like a weird
00:04:41
black dress i'm never gonna wear it again i hate black it's really uncomfortable there
00:04:45
But this is like fucking vintage and shit. Like I was like, that dress is so me.
00:04:51
I'm going to buy it and have it forever. And you had the power of the time. That's what's magical about it.
00:04:58
To wear wherever the fuck you want. I've literally worn pajamas to live shows. And George is like, look, I think we should talk about it because I think I want to wear color.
00:05:07
I'm like, dude, can I lay down during the show? That's what I would prefer. we have different standards
00:05:15
well I'm a professional professional oh so I I also have a hot tip it's a fashion tip
00:05:23
hashtag it if your dress doesn't fit you anymore you can make it fit by slightly ripping it where the zipper is
00:05:31
yes and giving yourself more room I love it and then just cover it up with a belt and no one will fucking
00:05:39
notice and if they do tell them to take their binoculars off. Oh. Go fuck your binoculars.
00:05:46
How about that? Yeah. And this fashion tip is straight out of Vogue. Hashtag, you're straight out of Vogue.
00:05:53
Hashtag, what's up, Anna Wintour Yeah We doing it different this year Yeah Look and listen to the fashion experts please The fashion expert please
00:06:06
That's our new show. What about you? Oh, yeah, it's this old thing. Look. Nice. Lighting guy.
00:06:19
Nice. He picked that right up. What if I go over here really fast? Lighting guy.
00:06:23
There he is. This is a high quality theater when the lighting guy follows you with the grid.
00:06:33
Should we tell about, I won't name names, but one of the shows last season? No. Nope.
00:06:39
Semester? Last month. Yes. It was last month. We were, somehow the lighting person
00:06:45
got the cue that as soon as we said goodnight to turn all the fucking lights off
00:06:49
in the entire theater, including on stage, so we go to wave and then it's darkness
00:06:53
and it's weird. And it stayed darkness where we were like we're like, bye. And then we're just kind of like, bye.
00:07:01
I guess you guys. And then tell those guys we said bye with our hands. And then hopefully we don't trip
00:07:09
on the way out of stage. Then we left like fucking Charlie Brown. I guess they didn't like it.
00:07:16
That's sad. You know, it's funny. So San Diego, You're kicking off the 2019 spring tour.
00:07:25
Congratulations. It's very exciting. Yeah. One part of that, though, is aside from, like, since this is my 2018 winter tour dress,
00:07:40
as we're standing in the dressing room, Georgia was talking about her dress, and then I was like, I should have gotten mine dry cleaned.
00:07:47
That's one of those things. thing to the list. So much time, yeah. That's on that list. All the time in the world. Be clean.
00:07:56
Basics. The basics. But because it's the first show, we don't have as many like, we don't have these road dog anecdotes that we usually
00:08:04
do. Oh my god. We usually, guys. Right? I mean, we're weatherers and stuff. But, um,
00:08:13
here's what did happen, and this made me laugh because you were like, what do we talk about when we get out there? And I was just like, hmm,
00:08:18
I know what I'm going to talk about. Uh-oh. Because on the way down, we stopped at In-N-Out.
00:08:27
You gotta. It's what a hamburger's all about, so you have to do it. And George and I, before we left.
00:08:34
Oh, no. You want to tell this. No, I forgot already about it. No. I was going to tell it in front of a lot of people.
00:08:41
This is, yeah, there's a ton of fucking people out there. Shit. Yeah. Shit. Okay, go ahead.
00:08:47
so as you may know georgia likes to do fun physical surprises to me so like and we've
00:08:54
talked about it before like we were in new york not in front of a bunch of people it's like on
00:09:00
the podcast where i'm like i love to fart but it's like we're in the my living room right but
00:09:05
you know you're not what i'm saying is you're not shy you're not that's not a natural set point for
00:09:10
you i think you're very bold uh-huh thank you and you're body positive and you're fun you're fun
00:09:16
Thank you. And you want to have fun. So oftentimes I'll go up and be like, hey, you have my blow dryer.
00:09:22
And then I knock on her hotel room door and she opens it completely naked. That's happened several times.
00:09:28
It's funny. You should try it. Naked is hilarious. It's hilarious. And she has her eyes wide and her mouth open.
00:09:33
So it's like. Surprise naked. It's really like. It's like a shock scare, like a haunted house.
00:09:41
That's what you're going for with your body. At a hotel. Is it shock scare? No, no.
00:09:46
So, that one of those fun things is just, they'll just be private, but very presentational farting every once in a while.
00:09:58
It's like a punctuation mark at the end of a joke that's not funny. If you tell a stupid joke and it doesn't land, fart at the end of it.
00:10:06
Fart. It's fucking hilarious. Like, and you do a little, like, it's like a, it's hilarious.
00:10:11
I laugh every single fucking time. Nothing's funnier. Thank you. Real-time farting is better than anything that's ever been written in McSweeney's or The Onion.
00:10:22
It's just the best. It's risky. It's vulnerable. It's loud. It smells. So all the things you want in a joke.
00:10:33
It's called the magic four. We go into the bathroom in and out. There's people in there when we go in.
00:10:41
I go into the stall. Georgia's messing around at the sink the way she likes to do.
00:10:45
I'm like a cat playing in the water. Exactly. You know how I like to... And I have to hit her to get her down off the sink.
00:10:54
So I'm in the stall. And it's the kind of stall that looks like it's one big stall.
00:10:59
Not what it was, which is two stalls. Two stalls. With two different people in them.
00:11:04
Two different people. One of them was not me. Is a stranger. Stranger. I did not know that.
00:11:10
So I just hear this from inside the stall. I just hear, I think it went something like
00:11:15
correct me if I'm wrong, it was something like hey! like that and then I had already heard the lady shuffling around
00:11:25
in the other stall, I knew there was someone there I'm immediately crying on the toilet
00:11:32
and then I hear her then her toilet flushes and then I hear Georgia go is there someone else in here?
00:11:41
and then I just hear the door open and shut. She was fucking gone. I left. And then Karen walks out. I say, is
00:11:48
there someone else in there right as Karen's bathroom door opens? And she's just nodding
00:11:52
at me with like this gleeful face But what I didn realize I didn I didn cover my own six because Georgia ran out before the lady came out of the stall so I there washing my hands and laughing at her
00:12:06
Yes. The lady comes out, I'm in the farting position. Now I did it. I did it. That was not my intention.
00:12:14
I did it, it looked like I did it, and was laughing at myself and washing my hands.
00:12:19
One rule of fart jokes is you always take responsibility for your own fart jokes.
00:12:23
That's right. I would never pin that on someone else. You know? You come back in the bathroom.
00:12:28
Hey, lady, that was me. Look. Look. I want to talk about today. Look at this. And then I'll do it again to prove it.
00:12:35
Watch this. Watch this and that. Don't we have some really terrible photos to show?
00:12:40
I think we do. Oh, by the way, this is a podcast, My Favorite Murder. Oh, right.
00:12:49
Thank you. That's Karen Kilgara. And that's Georgia Hartstark. we're very excited to be here with you we're very happy to see you thank you so much thank you
00:13:04
goodbye um so yeah we left we left in and out vince is driving i'm navigating that's a mistake
00:13:12
we and it turns out the city of like i don't know what it is like oh my god it's it's like
00:13:19
in the middle of it all. Carson? Carson. No, I don't know. Exactly. It's probably Carson.
00:13:24
There's just a lot of construction right now. And so we get lost immediately. Yeah.
00:13:29
We'll start going the wrong way on a one-way street. Yeah. They're actually building an overpass
00:13:35
to connect to one of the 100,000 freeways down here. So we kind of go under not a finished overpass,
00:13:44
but like the wooden wobbly 1,800 structure of an overpass of future tense. 2025?
00:13:54
Yeah. It's like, let's get away from this area. Yeah. We took some photos for you guys.
00:13:59
So we go around and truly, I don't think it was on the map. Waze was like, fuck you, I'm out of here.
00:14:06
You're going to hang out down there? We can't help you. I told you where to go. Waze is really mean.
00:14:13
Here's where we end up. This is... Now if you can tell, oh wait, I think you should go forward one.
00:14:22
Okay. Okay. Can you see how? Oh yeah. It's an overpass exit to fucking nowhere. As you said, it's fucking straight Sandra Bullock.
00:14:32
Yes. Overpass. This is where they shot that scene in Speed where she impossibly jumps a bus.
00:14:40
Amazing. Amazing. And so that, can you go back? So basically this was on our left and this was in front of us.
00:14:47
And we're like, well, I guess we have to go up here. It just looked like now you took a wrong turn.
00:14:52
Now you have to go kill yourself in your own car. Yeah. Good luck. Yeah. Goodbye.
00:14:58
All right. That was something. Oh, wait. And then, okay. Here we go. There it is.
00:15:04
Steven's not here. I know. I'm actually surprised. Usually when it's close, he wants to come.
00:15:11
Yeah. But listen, there's cats and there's Steven and he doesn't tend to not be with one at all times.
00:15:18
He might be going through a rebellious stage. Teenage Steven. Fuck you. I don't care about your show.
00:15:25
I know. I'm the percast, baby. He's got his own life now. This table has nice leggings on.
00:15:33
Yeah. Isn't it? This table looks like me after the show, actually. It's pretty much exactly my outfit.
00:15:40
that's you look you know how you like to put your clothes over your toes yeah you want to sit down
00:15:47
yeah should we let's do it oh i like these yeah these are great should we take these for my new
00:15:55
house take these home tonight yes this is a i can deal with a chair like this oh oh we're a little
00:16:02
Hello. Hi. How are you? I feel so fucking petite. Love it. You're so tiny. You're just a little girl in a huge chair.
00:16:15
It is a little weird. What happened? It's just, okay. What? Hi. Just don't talk about it?
00:16:24
No. Did your dress split open? No. Not any more than it already did. Oh, okay. It might.
00:16:30
I brought a backup dress just in case and it's black. So I feel like it's one of those things where it's just like, you know,
00:16:37
it's like a threat to myself that if I fuck this dress up, I have to just put on an old dress.
00:16:41
Yeah. I don't want to do that. Just add that pressure like Tanya Harding's mom. Just constantly be your own Tanya Harding's mom to yourself.
00:16:51
That's how you get to the Olympics. And that's what I'm trying for. It was the Olympics.
00:16:58
Yeah. The podcasting Olympics. That's right. Oh my God, they're in three years. They're going to be in Seoul.
00:17:05
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Terms and conditions apply. See Pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. I'm first.
00:19:15
No, it's me. Oh, right. Yeah. Are these open? Steven! We make him come to the theater, open our waters, and then go back home.
00:19:28
And then drive home. Yeah. And we don't give him gas money. Uh-oh. Did you just spill all over yourself?
00:19:34
Shut up. I don't care. You don't know me. Oh, my God. It's drunk Karen. Stupid. Don't be a bitch, and you can party with me.
00:19:51
Now it's turning into a weird exhale-y thing that that's not drunk Karen, that's a sexy lady.
00:19:57
Drunk Karen was not sexy. I guarantee you that. Okay, I'm starting off tonight, and here's what's funny.
00:20:06
When this event happened in real time, I remember watching it on TV. But I've never thought about doing it for any of our live shows down here.
00:20:16
because Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds of the Dollop did it on their sixth episode long, long ago,
00:20:23
and it was so fucking hilarious that I was like, well, you just kind of can't do that ever again.
00:20:27
But then I was like, fuck them. So I'm doing San Diego's 1995 Tank Rampage. What?
00:20:43
Do you remember this? How old were you, 15? 95. Yeah, I was 15 and fucking living my sad life in Orange County.
00:20:52
What were you doing? What were you doing when you were 15? 15, I think, was the prime rave years.
00:20:59
Don't spit that out. Rave. They were raves. Did you wear junco jeans? No, but I wore vinyl pants.
00:21:07
Right. Vinyl pants. Okay. Or sometimes I get dressed up and wear like a cheerleaders,
00:21:12
like a cheerleader, an ecstasy outfit, like a club kid, but making fun of cheerleaders.
00:21:19
But was it? Did I really? And then, yeah. Like you're pretending that you hate cheerleaders, but clearly you'd love to be a cheerleader.
00:21:29
Making fun of the thing you can't have just so you don't feel bad about not, you know, you get it.
00:21:34
It's called life. Welcome to it. None of us belong. Okay, 95 tanks. Here we go. Tanks were...
00:21:43
Don't do it. 95, I was 25. Thanks. And I was on so much speed that I would just, I would wake up like entirely awake at like
00:21:58
5 a.m. and stare out the window and not blink for seven hours. It was rough. So if you're around or conscious or having a time in 95, you will have seen this on the news.
00:22:14
It was a guy that drove a tank for 23 minutes around San Diego, and it was fucking nuts.
00:22:20
Now, that in and of itself is plenty of story. There's plenty of story with just that.
00:22:27
And my assumption is that's very sad. Clearly, somebody had mental illness. Clearly, there was an issue behind it.
00:22:33
You know, whatever. Then you dig into the actual story, and it's so, so much more.
00:22:39
So let's talk about it. And we're talking about a man named Sean Nelson. He is the guy that ended up commandeering a tank from the National Guard armory.
00:22:50
Fuck. Which was not locked. That should be locked. It should. I feel like the National Guard should have the best security.
00:22:58
You would think, just name alone, you would think, that that would be a thing they were into.
00:23:03
Yeah. Even if it was just for the show of it, like, I love to wear this outfit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:23:08
They'd be like, sorry, I'm guarding this. What's your business here? No. In 95, that wasn't the case.
00:23:16
Listen, we're not shaming the, what do they call them? The National Guard. The National Guard.
00:23:22
They're not National, they're Armed Forces. Yeah, no, never. Not at all. What we're talking about really is, at the end of the day, meth.
00:23:31
That's what we're going to be talking about a lot tonight. So smoke them if you got them.
00:23:38
So quick background. Sean Nelson, he was born in Birdseye, Utah on August 21st, 1959.
00:23:45
His father was in the military. He grows up in the Claremont neighborhood of San Diego, which is, yeah.
00:23:52
Claremont is kind of where all this happens. It's also where the armory is, where the super loosey-goosey, chill...
00:24:00
Armory is. Yeah. Now you guys know. Yeah. He joins the army. He's in it for two years
00:24:07
in the tank division. What? That's called foreshadowing. He loves tanks. He loves tanks.
00:24:15
I'm sure they make you feel great. You're all protected and you can kind of drive around real
00:24:19
slow. So, but after two years, he leaves the army and he goes down to Panama. He works on a fishing
00:24:29
boat. Eventually, he comes back home and he starts a plumbing business and he does great.
00:24:35
So that's all good. The problem was around the late 80s, the wall came down and the Cold War
00:24:43
ended. And so because a lot of the military action slowed down, then the economy in this area slowed
00:24:51
down because it's a very military-based economy around here. So there was a downturn economically
00:24:57
hear. That plumbing business dried up, you're saying? People stopped shitting entirely.
00:25:03
You just stopped flushing, you know? They let it mellow all over town. No. No, what actually happened was,
00:25:13
and this is interesting, this is from the dollop, this is Dave's research, but basically
00:25:17
methamphetamine was something that the military have used for years and years. That's what they gave kamikaze pilots.
00:25:27
Right, but those, yes. Also, Hitler loved it. Oh, sure. He was super stoked about any kind of amphetamine.
00:25:35
Yeah. So apparently, and according to Dave Anthony, meth came into the United States through San Diego.
00:25:44
You guys. Yes. Come on. Clap it up. I thought you guys were better than that. So basically, so when things slow down, people start using the cheapest drugs made of Ajax that they can find.
00:26:05
I can guarantee you that that fucking meth made its way to Irvine. Yeah. That's right.
00:26:13
It made its way anywhere where the children were bored and had big speakers to dance in front of.
00:26:20
As you have told me. Okay, so Sean Nelson has a terrible run of luck. It's very sad.
00:26:30
He starts using meth. His wife of six years files for divorce. Then he loses both of his parents to cancer in 1992.
00:26:39
Then he gets into a motorcycle accident. And the theory is that he was on drugs because when he got to the emergency room,
00:26:48
He got into physical altercation with the security guards there and was fighting them, even though they were trying to treat him because he was super fucked up from a bad motorcycle accident.
00:26:59
He ends up suing the hospital for $1.6 million. And the lawsuit is dropped or the judge says goodbye.
00:27:12
Then the hospital counter sues him for the six grand he owes them for the medical treatment that he says.
00:27:18
he didn't want. Holy shit. Yeah. So it's, there's, um, there's some issues that maybe meth isn't
00:27:26
helping. Great. And I will say in a nonjudgmental, uh, former speed addict way, I, I'm just seeing
00:27:36
some patterns that I recognize in myself. Um, now he moves into this little house and unfortunately,
00:27:45
and usually the way it goes with meth and the people that I know that have been addicted to meth,
00:27:50
it turns out, oh my god, his neighbor is kind of like a meth dealer. She lives right next door.
00:27:56
She's more of like, I don't know if she was a full-fledged dealer, but she was like a holder of meth
00:28:01
and a gatherer of meth-minded people. This is a fucking storyline on Breaking Bad
00:28:08
when Jesse Pinkman moves next door. Yeah, that's right. And everyone comes and parties at his house.
00:28:13
Sure. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, there's so many, please listen to episode six of the dollop.
00:28:21
There's so many fucking crazy stories, but essentially he's just doing meth, doesn't have a lot of work to do.
00:28:27
Everyone around him is doing meth. So they're doing stuff like grown men are, um, wrestling each other in the backyard.
00:28:34
Like, like, uh, you know, hold them style. Oh, you know, suplex or whatever style wrestling.
00:28:41
and when him and his friend do this one time, his friend throws him on the ground and breaks his back.
00:28:49
You guys, don't do it. Don't do that. That's awful. Don't do meth wrestling. So he has a broken back.
00:29:00
He's very lawsuit attracted I guess we could say. Just lots and lots of issues and the issues are building
00:29:10
And then as we know, if you do a lot of drugs, you start to lose your sense of true reality.
00:29:15
And you start to live in a reality that the drugs are dictating. And this is what happens to Sean.
00:29:21
Because Sean one day becomes convinced that he has found a nugget of gold in his own backyard.
00:29:28
What? Yes. So he begins to mine for gold. What? In his backyard. Oh, no. Yes. Oh, no.
00:29:37
There's a photo? So that's Sean Nelson. He looks so normal. Yeah. In his better days, clearly looks very healthy, looks happy.
00:29:50
He ends up digging a 17 hole in his backyard Holy shit This is what meth can do for you I mean I couldn do that and I not on meth Focus Determination Yeah You know what I
00:30:10
noticed though? He's wearing his wedding ring still. I don't know why I noticed that. That,
00:30:15
uh, that's Kevin Nelson. Great. I see that by the name next to his face. I now see that.
00:30:22
Look, we didn't see these pictures beforehand. Stephen puts all kinds of surprises on here.
00:30:27
Yeah, that's not Sean. Got it. Because it says Kevin. Yeah. I think it might be a brother or relative named Kevin.
00:30:35
He's in on it. Here's the thing. Sean is together enough still that he is convincing the people around him that this is a possibility.
00:30:44
And how exciting if it was. 100%. It's your yard. Yeah. And there's a gold mine right fucking there.
00:30:52
San Diego, nobody knew. That's what I picture myself doing. You find that nugget and you hold it up to the sun.
00:31:00
And then all your problems are solved. No, it turns out, the details of this are crazy,
00:31:06
but the actual, you know, clearly this mine shaft that he built is professional.
00:31:12
He knows how to work some tools and handle some shit. and he starts getting the meth fans that are around to come on over.
00:31:23
And then the idea is you work on the mine with me and then you can get a cut of the gold when we finally strike it rich.
00:31:29
Right. And in the meantime, you can help me out by giving me meth too. That was actually part of it is if you want to come over,
00:31:36
if you want to work on the mine, you have to bring meth. Shut up. So it was like a gold mining meth party in this backyard all the time.
00:31:44
Wow. All I want is to watch like a four-hour series interviewing the neighbors while this was going down.
00:31:52
Because it's one thing when someone has like a tiki-themed party in their backyard one night where you're like, all right.
00:32:02
But this was a, he was using his own jacuzzi as a sluice. so he was like running dirt through the jacuzzi to keep then and then panning up to see if the
00:32:14
gold came through yes a perfectly good jacuzzi yes that hurts you especially doesn't it i fucking
00:32:22
love a jacuzzi you guys i'm not kidding and see this is what drugs do yeah you no longer see the
00:32:28
value of your jacuzzi you just want that gold you could buy a hundred jacuzzis when you find the gold
00:32:35
the future promises of a hundred jacuzzis lined up and you can just go from one to the other all
00:32:42
night yeah we gotta get that gold smoke snort okay um uh the neighbors of course file noise
00:32:52
complaints with the police um sean files a complaint against the police for harassment
00:32:58
because no one's letting him have his dream. So in February of 1995, so this goes on for, like, this is, you know,
00:33:10
his drug use is ramping up and the psychosis around it is ramping up, obviously.
00:33:16
In February of 1995, he tries to file a claim with the city of San Diego that he can mine bedrock in his own backyard.
00:33:28
He goes to City Hall and he's like, I want to file this claim for my backyard, for the gold in my backyard.
00:33:34
And they're like, it's your fucking backyard, dude. You can do whatever you want.
00:33:38
Yeah, you don't need a claim. You could dig your entire backyard up and throw it away and that's yours to do.
00:33:45
Okay. And that's what he did. At what point do you get to the part that belongs to San Diego now?
00:33:51
You know what I mean? Like, do you buy your house to the core of the earth? that is the best fucking question i've ever heard
00:33:58
do you own the fucking magma layer beneath your house is that is that your shit yeah i mean
00:34:12
but what do you mean yes i was curious like i wonder core of the right down far down do you own
00:34:19
when you buy a house. Because I'm about to dig up my fucking new backyard. Dig it up and get those precious metals for yourself.
00:34:31
That magma. Get that magma. Yeah, I think it's like if you, I think you stop owning it when you pop up in Sydney, Australia.
00:34:39
And they're like, no, mate, that's not yours. That's my gold. Now, here's another thing that gets crazy.
00:34:47
they do find a little bit of gold. Yes. Wait, that part's real? Well, I didn't say it was real.
00:34:56
I just said that they found gold. Okay. What was happening was Sean was buying gold from neighborhood teens
00:35:04
and melting it down and burying it in the mine for people to discover. I have so many questions.
00:35:15
The number one is like the idea of these fucking teens dealing drugs but they're dealing gold that's insane
00:35:25
well they were visionaries it was 1995 cash for gold had not been invented yet but they were like i'm fine this is a niche that needs to be filled
00:35:33
it was it was hammer you know hammer does all those cash for gold commercials oh yeah well as a
00:35:39
teen um no so basically basically they'd be like here's that gold you wanted he'd be like thanks
00:35:46
I'm going to go smelt for a while. He would hide it. Then he'd be like, I think I hit something over here, Dan.
00:35:53
And then another meth head would come over and be like what the it real Holy shit And then they be like okay here my meth packet Let celebrate And it was basically this kind of self gold mine situation
00:36:06
that was fake. But it seemed like Sean believed in it because he wanted to own the claim. He basically wanted to make sure
00:36:15
the city wasn't going to take his gold. The city was like, we don't give those. He got super mad and stayed mad
00:36:21
about it for a long time because of the meth. So then there was a... The downward spiral comes in April.
00:36:31
He's been mining for the meth gold for nine months. This is the downward spiral?
00:36:36
I feel like it already happened. We just peaked. Now it's going to go like this.
00:36:40
Okay. Yeah. That was the fun, like, screaming part of the roller coaster. Now we're about to entirely go off the rails.
00:36:47
So he hasn't paid his mortgage in nine months, of course. Someone stole his plumbing tools somewhere along the line,
00:36:57
so he can't even go back to his regular job. And he's kind of beyond that anyway.
00:37:01
And his water and his power get turned off, which is tough on a mine. You need that water.
00:37:07
That jacuzzi. It's tough for the jacuzzi. You've got to get a big crank on the side of it.
00:37:15
Just picture it in your mind. Give it a moment. And his only friend left is this guy Chuck,
00:37:22
who's also on a ton of meth. And on that episode of The Dollop, they played audio tape of Chuck explaining stuff.
00:37:30
And unless you would get PTSD from it, like I did, you should listen to it because it's just a person on drugs.
00:37:38
Like, it's just the best anti-drug PSA in the world. Just kind of, a guy, just talking like this.
00:37:45
And it's like, none of that made sense. Oh, no. Okay. Sean, one night, goes down into the mine and sees God.
00:37:59
Gosh, did he buy it from teens and put it down there? Everyone else says they're pulling their mom's necklaces out of the bag,
00:38:09
and then one teen's like, hey, check this shit out. It's the Lord. Forty bucks. Forty bucks for the Lord.
00:38:19
He sees God. he sees a pyramid nope and there's a dragon inside the pyramid as you know there always is
00:38:31
oh my god and then he gets the message him and Chuck are supposed to fight this dragon
00:38:37
wrestling style in the backyard snap it's back oh my god okay in April of 95 his live-in girlfriend dies of a drug overdose.
00:38:51
Oh, no. So, yeah, we're going off the rails. Okay. He files a $2 million damage claim against the city,
00:38:59
one for police negligence and one for false arrest. In May of 95, the house gets foreclosed on.
00:39:06
So, basically, kind of all the plans and schemes and everything have just crashed and burned horribly.
00:39:14
Um, so page three on the afternoon of May 18th, 1995, Sean Nelson gets into his van and he drives to the National Guard Armory in Claremont neighborhood of San Diego.
00:39:29
He's shirtless and he's got a plan. You can't, you have, you have to have both. It can't be one or the other.
00:39:36
That's right. If you've got a plan, take off that shirt. Let everyone know. If you're wearing a shirt, but you've got a plan, strip.
00:39:48
He told his friend he was going to drive a tank to City Hall. He was going to pull the tank up on the steps of City Hall
00:39:54
and then demand to be on TV so he could make a statement. Okay. I'm following so far.
00:40:00
Right. What's the problem? It's a pretty simple plan. Yeah. Why you can't just walk to the steps and stand there, maybe in a suit.
00:40:09
I don't know. I don't know the plan. Your shirt is still on. I'm just reporting.
00:40:15
Clearly I'm not in on the plan because I've got my top on. So either just by chance or because it's what the Lord wanted,
00:40:27
when he went to the National Armory Vehicle Yard, it was not locked. So he drove to the armory, drove on,
00:40:35
then went up to the vehicle yard chain link fence, opened it, drove on up to a tank, and began getting up onto the tanks and trying the hatches to get in.
00:40:48
And he had a crowbar, so he was crowbarring his way in. And once he got into all three tanks that he got on top of.
00:40:56
It should not be that easy to get into. Well, he was a tank man. He knew exactly where to crowbar it.
00:41:03
But the first one, here's a very interesting fact that I learned, kind of half researching this,
00:41:09
is the M60A3 Patton tank. It starts, thank you, it's called cut and paste. I don't know what I'm saying.
00:41:20
I'm like a child. Those types of tanks, they start with a push button. Way ahead of its time.
00:41:28
Yeah, like a fancy, like a BMW. Like a Prius or something. Yes, exactly. That's like, I was like, do you need a key for a tank?
00:41:38
because I was already there. I mean, now I believe you should have to. Truly. There should be individual keys for every tank
00:41:45
that only like two guys have. Yeah. But apparently once you get in, if you know what button to push
00:41:51
and like how to go like this or whatever, I doing this based on video games I seen you can do it So basically he gets to his third tank and that when the one guardsman who is there finally sees him and is like what the fuck And he realizes the guy
00:42:08
in the tank and the tank has started and it's starting to move. So instead of trying to run
00:42:12
to the tank or do the dipshit things you see people do in movies where you're like, don't run
00:42:17
up to a tank. Don't shoot at a tank. He immediately just calls the police and is like, there's a guy
00:42:22
that's trying to steal a tank. He's like, look, I was going to the bathroom. I might have been in there a little too long.
00:42:28
Yes, the gate was not locked. However, I was just trying to be a little different today
00:42:34
than I normally am. It's hard to let your guard down. So I unlocked the gate and worked on my vulnerability.
00:42:43
Someone took advantage of me. So I'm never going to do it again. Basically, this guardsman's on the phone with the cops,
00:42:51
And he's like, yeah, so I got a guy. He's taking one of my tanks. I only have three.
00:42:57
He can't. Oh, there he goes. He's driving over the chain link fence. No. Yeah. Okay, this is your problem now.
00:43:06
San Diego Police Department and Sheriff's Office. Goodbye. Oh, my God. Yeah. So now Sean Nelson is luckily the onboard cannon, aircraft gun, and machine gun.
00:43:21
were not loaded. Phew! Yes. Yay. Thank God. So no weapons involved, except, of course, for the tank.
00:43:28
A tank. Okay. Right. Which could also be used as a weapon. As a kind of anything anyway.
00:43:34
Yeah. It can be used as like a short Godzilla. It's what I like to call tanks from my time in the Navy.
00:43:44
so he starts driving a 57 ton tank through the Claremont neighborhood of San Diego
00:43:55
I keep calling it that for people who don't know San Diego well enough and it is destroying
00:43:59
everything in its path obviously road signs, traffic lights utility poles, fire hydrants
00:44:06
tons of parked vehicles including an RV alright let's take a little look and because he called the
00:44:13
The guardsmen called the cops immediately. Then the press knew immediately. So there was fucking Newscopter 7 was in the air,
00:44:21
cute sweet, and the entire 23-minute drive was broadcast the entire time. Into Karen Kilgareff's 25-year-old eyeballs.
00:44:31
Where I was just like in the living room smoking like, I have to stop taking speed.
00:44:36
I'm seeing my own future. Oh, that's blurry. Let's try another one. They're all going to be a little blurry.
00:44:46
Yes, I've totally seen that. That's a fucking streetlight. Jesus. Question. What was he listening to on his Discman?
00:44:55
Oh, had to be Slipknot. Had to be Slipknot. Oh, yeah. They weren't even invented yet, and he was just like, play.
00:45:05
I don't know if they were. He had an old, like a boombox right there. Right. Even flow.
00:45:12
Something like that? Definitely. He was chill. What do you listen to on meth? Oh, everything at once.
00:45:21
You just press play, a cacophony. I love it! You scream over the music as it's playing.
00:45:27
I love this song! Just listen. Oh, fuck! Look at her! Honey! She's like, well, I have to take a picture for the insurance man.
00:45:40
Nope. Oh, I don't care that it's dangerous. They're going to need a picture. Oh, my goodness.
00:45:52
That's glorious. You know that that car was like immaculate on the inside. It had a box of Kleenex up in the back.
00:45:59
Yes. It was she arm rolled those seats every day and then fuck just flattened. She had all those boxes of Kleenexes in the trunk for when the one in the back ran out.
00:46:10
She was actually the Claremont neighborhood's Kleenex dealer, which is, that's a whole different.
00:46:17
Yeah, that's my story that I'm saying. That's yours. Whoa! Look at it. My pinto!
00:46:26
What's that? And there's a flood because he probably hit a fire hydrant. He hit lots of fire hydrants, apparently.
00:46:32
Apparently. Oh, my God. And you know what else he did is he took down some power lines and some utility poles.
00:46:41
So 5,100 San Diegans were left with no power. So everybody else was loved. They're like, look at this live fucking low-speed chase on the news.
00:46:52
You have to come and watch this. I can't because you ruined it for me. I can't watch it and I'm cold.
00:47:04
It's only going to take me about 20 minutes to find my spot on this piece of paper again.
00:47:09
The tank had a fuel range of 300 miles, but it could only go 30 miles an hour. Oh, what a bummer.
00:47:15
So now San Diego Police, San Diego County Sheriff's Department, Highway Patrol, and the military police are all involved in what is arguably the slowest high-speed chase in American history.
00:47:30
We have that. Oh, my God. Look at the military men. That's just a pity. That's just a shame.
00:47:39
You know what? That's a waste. It's a waste. That's a waste. I don't like it. This is not my America.
00:47:47
You know what? I think we should put locks on these gates. I really do. I do. And I'm going to bring it up at the next meeting.
00:47:55
I think it's important. Okay, here's the heist. Here's this. Remember the... Shit. I mean, wow. Yeah. What are each of those cops listening to? What are each of those cops
00:48:10
listening to? Tony Robbins books on tape. Just about being positive and staying positive. And
00:48:17
they get on their walkie talkies and they all press play at the same time because they want
00:48:20
to be the same part with each other. Ready? One. We're going to press play on three.
00:48:24
wait on three or after do we press it when it goes three one two three then press it
00:48:31
you gotta be clear tell me more I can't sorry it's so rusty what was it always this hard
00:48:45
to turn pages okay he went okay before he got to the freeway so he's driving around
00:48:55
as I've said Claremont then he goes north on Convoy Street west you guys love it you might want to hold for
00:49:03
all these streets you can absolutely individually cheer for every fucking street
00:49:07
if you want to but I'm going to name a couple he goes north on Convoy he goes west
00:49:13
on to Balboa they love that one Balboa is amazing they love that one Dang. Okay.
00:49:24
I just love the asphalt on it. It's so smooth. There's that one Starbucks drive-thru.
00:49:29
There's never a line. We have to go there tomorrow. Then it gets on the 805 South.
00:49:36
Yay. Do you know that in one of our live shows, we made jokes, or maybe on the just regular podcast,
00:49:51
we made jokes about what freeway are you? Someone asked us that in a Q&A episode.
00:49:55
What freeway would you be? And we answered it totally fucking earnestly for some reason because it's like a great question.
00:50:00
We're like, ooh, that's interesting. Then at a live show at the last tour, these lovely women, of course,
00:50:06
we don't know their names or can't describe them in any way, but still, there's so much gratitude there.
00:50:12
They give us these lovely boxes. We open them. They're little pendants with little freeway signs of the freeways.
00:50:18
we said we were. And I almost cried. I go, did you make this for us? And the girl goes, no, no.
00:50:25
Somebody makes this. She was like, don't be gross. I don't like you that much. I like shopping for people.
00:50:33
Yes. Yes. It was amazing. So go get your 805 pendant. Someone be the 805. Yeah. It's somebody nice and wide, thick.
00:50:45
Fine, I'll do it. I'm good. I'm good with it. Okay. So while he's driving down this freeway,
00:50:55
he tries to take out a pedestrian bridge. With now, listen, it sounds maybe crazy,
00:51:00
but then if you're on drugs and you're in a tank and you're doing it anyway, when you drive up on some shit,
00:51:05
you're probably like, well, let's just see if I can knock this down before this ends terribly.
00:51:10
Yeah. He rams it a couple times. Nothing happens, so he keeps going. Oh my god. He merges onto Route 163 South.
00:51:23
You guys love your freeways. Yeah. Well, that one is especially amazing because of all the trees that hang over.
00:51:31
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Is that true? I just made it up. The people who have never listened to this podcast, more so than the actual murder part, are like, why are people fucking cheering?
00:51:43
Usually they're like, why are they cheering for murderers? They're not trying for murderers.
00:51:47
But then they're like, why are they trying for fucking freeways? It's the best. There's something about it.
00:51:52
We were like, I have to sit on this piece of shit every day. Now if somebody's talking about it, I'm going to be like, I know what you're talking about.
00:52:00
Yeah. That's my freeway that makes me suffer every goddamn day. Okay, anyhow. Almost done.
00:52:09
so they when he merges onto that street officials close the freeway so now everybody on this
00:52:18
fucking what looks like a 24 lane freeway is stuck stopped and they're just stopped on the freeway
00:52:25
yeah and that's that basically happens all over san diego because so oh and then i wrote and when
00:52:31
they find out why they're into it because wouldn't you yeah if somebody's like oh all this traffic
00:52:37
stopped and you're like trying to find out why on the radio yeah who the fuck did whatever let me
00:52:41
turn off my tony robin right yeah and then someone's like someone's driving a tank all over
00:52:48
the place you'd be like yes i hope he drives it over here wouldn't you yeah drive it by my house
00:52:54
yeah yeah there's also uh on the dollop there's a uh they mentioned dave watched a video of a guy
00:53:03
who watched the tank go by, they had the audio of the guy talking about it. And he said, he goes,
00:53:10
that little guy went by, his head was sticking out, he was smiling, having a great time.
00:53:17
Yep. So there is maybe a little light in the end of the tunnel in this story. It's not called meth, that's for sure.
00:53:28
There's a light at the, oh no, that's more meth. Okay. Okay, so the police, they're like, we have to stop this,
00:53:37
because obviously there's fucking mayhem and insanity and fire hydrants shooting.
00:53:42
It's also a little embarrassing for the department. Very embarrassing for the military-industrial complex.
00:53:48
Sure. They're not liking it that much. Yeah. Okay, so they start trying to plan.
00:53:54
The police and law enforcement start trying to plan with the Marine Corps at Camp Pendleton how they going to stop the tank And right Go Pentland the fighting
00:54:06
Oh, God, just do it. Fighting. Don't overthink it. Yep, you've got this. Is it because I'm talking the whole time?
00:54:20
I screwed it up. All I got is kitchen cabinets. Love it. Can we do it? Yes. Great.
00:54:28
Because if a kitchen cabinet came running at you on a football field, you're fucked.
00:54:32
Yeah. Go, go. An anthropomorphized, is that right? Kitchen cabinet? That's right.
00:54:38
Being like, what's up? We're going to beat you. I'm all elbows. Slivers, slivers, slivers.
00:54:44
Okay. Sliver. We're talking about Camp Pendleton like it's a college. And we know that that's incorrect.
00:54:51
We know that. Yeah. My brother went there to that college. Did he? Did he go to Camp Pendleton College?
00:54:57
Uh-huh, for the Marines, yeah. Are you serious? Yeah. All right. I would never joke about such a thing.
00:55:04
Please never joke about anything like that. Okay, so basically they're talking to the Marines.
00:55:08
They're like, who can stop a tank? Anybody? And the Marines are like, listen, we've got a Cobra attack helicopter that we're willing to bring in.
00:55:16
Fuck. And guess what? We have it here because we put a lock on the gate. Yes. they just like wanted to rub it in a little you've noticed you've never heard of any uh
00:55:30
civilian driving our cobra attack helicopter around right there's a simple reason yeah it's
00:55:35
called a it's called being good at stuff so right as they're planning this which just imagine that
00:55:43
then you're watching the news and then a fucking attack helicopter which i don't even know what
00:55:47
that means. Like any helicopter could be an attack helicopter, really. Is it one of those ones that just tilts
00:55:53
forward really intimidatingly the whole time? I think that's a video game. Oh. I don't know. I don't
00:56:01
either. I didn't go to Camp Pendleton. We better, we need to go this summer to Camp Pendleton
00:56:07
and just fucking do some arts and crafts. Stop it. Please don't tell the Marines we said
00:56:13
this. We're fucked. We're fucked. Okay. right as they're about to send the Cobra attack helicopter,
00:56:22
which I'm not only going to look up on Wikipedia tomorrow, but I might get a model of it and make it.
00:56:27
Yes. That's when Sean Nelson decides he's going to cross the freeway divider on the freeway.
00:56:35
Okay. To, like, basically make a big old U-turn. He's going to flip a tank bitch on the freeway.
00:56:44
Yeah. Into an oncoming traffic. but he gets stuck on the divider. No, that's the one thing that he can't...
00:56:50
That's the one thing that tanks can't handle. It's like about three feet of cement,
00:56:56
kind of shaped like the Atari logo. I can't... Uh-uh. Tanks like, no. They're like, no, I can't do this.
00:57:07
I can't do this anymore. Okay. So he gets basically caught onto it. Okay. And he's stuck there, and he's just trying to get off.
00:57:14
So all those police cars pull up, pull around, and a couple of cops get up on top.
00:57:20
They get the tank open, and an officer tells Sean Nelson, take your hands off the controls, and we're getting you out of this tank.
00:57:31
And he does not take his hands off the controls, and he looks up at the cop, and the cop said he's just dead-eyed,
00:57:36
and then went back to trying to get the tank off of the divider. That cop shoots down into the tank.
00:57:43
shoots him in the shoulder, and that bullet goes through and pierces his heart. Holy shit.
00:57:51
Yes. Awful. So they pull Nelson out of the tank, and he is rushed from the scene.
00:57:59
He later dies at Sharp Memorial Hospital at the age of 44. Wow. Yeah. I did not know it was ending that way.
00:58:06
Right? We were having so much fun. I know. I told you, though, remember the roller coaster metaphor I used?
00:58:12
Yes. That was why. I should have listened to the name of this podcast. You should listen to this podcast.
00:58:18
I should. It's really negative. The only local news station that aired that moment was KGTV Channel 10.
00:58:31
Oh, they're always doing shit like that. I'd hold on the cheering for one second.
00:58:37
They continued to shoot with a camera as Nelson's body. is pulled out of the tank, and that's how Sean Nelson's brother, Scott,
00:58:47
found out that his brother was driving the tank and was now shot. He didn't even know.
00:58:53
They didn't know who it was before that. Right. It was just a fucking dude in a tank.
00:58:58
Nameless, faceless tank. It's a tank. Shit. So even though he ran over 40 cars, downed power lines,
00:59:06
caused power outages, and traffic jams around the city, miraculously the only person hurt or killed during the tank rampage was sean nelson
00:59:16
yeah crazy yeah uh the state of california ended up paying the bill for all of that fun
00:59:24
of course he got the last the last laugh was the who has the yeah last laugh yeah he got it
00:59:31
who has the last laugh georgia asks those with a tank that's right It amounted to $150,000 in 90s money
00:59:44
Whoa Yeah Shit And now all military tanks in the state Oh, after that, all military tanks in the state
00:59:53
Were relocated to Camp Roberts in San Luis Obispo And Fort Irwin in Barstow Yeah Keep them safe there Those San Luis Obispo folks won do that
01:00:05
Yeah, it turns out San Diego lost their tank privileges after that. Wasn't cool.
01:00:13
And in closing, Sean Nelson's brother Scott said, My brother was a good man. He'd help anybody.
01:00:19
He just couldn't help himself. Do not do crystal meth. I'm not kidding. And that is the San Diego tank rampage of 1995.
01:00:37
Wow. Oh, that's it on the median. Yeah. Oh, I see how it got stuck. That's him getting taken away.
01:00:45
Okay. Horrible. Well, how the fuck am I going to follow that? I'm sorry. Shit. Blame the National Guard.
01:00:53
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01:02:58
right i'm gonna tell you karen okay uh and you may have seen this on an episode of forensic files
01:03:05
that was called this episode was called Hand Delivered, which you'll find out why
01:03:11
in a minute. This is the murder of Don Hardin. You'll see. Okay. Thanks. Yeah. No, it's okay.
01:03:19
That's really supportive. It doesn't sound as good. Yeah. I'm gonna it doesn't have the word tank
01:03:25
in there. How the fuck am I supposed to compete with that? You're not supposed to.
01:03:29
I'm not competing. We're now in a different individual reality. Okay. Here we are.
01:03:34
Well, we're still in the fucking 90s. April 1994. Can't get away from the fucking 90s.
01:03:38
This tank thing's about to happen. Really? No. Same bad things? You know. And these workers at the San Diego Fiber Corporation, they're sifting through some cardboard in a recycling bin.
01:03:50
You're breaking shit down. You know how they have to do. Are you the kind of person who puts a cardboard box in the recycler without breaking it down?
01:03:56
Yes. Me too. I mean, I don't carry an X-Acto knife in my fucking pocket. Sorry. I'm not the janitor.
01:04:04
The shame I get from Vince when I'm just like, I'm just thrown in. Who cares? Just kind of smash it with your hand.
01:04:11
I'm going to put other stuff inside of it. Okay. We'll get it next week. Yeah. Unfortunately, these fucking dudes are doing the cardboard shit, and they happen upon a
01:04:20
gruesome discovery. Two dismembered human hands. Oh, no. Or a pair of them. Two matching hands.
01:04:29
A righty and a lefty? Yes, of the same person. person. Right. But there's no person. And like fucking forensic files, hand delivered episode.
01:04:39
Now you get it. Why they're so clever. Thanks, dad. Good. Good pun, dad. Good pun, dad.
01:04:45
They show the fucking hands. I swear to God, they're just like, here they are. And I'm like,
01:04:52
I can't. What if I showed you these? No, no. I wouldn't. You can look yourself later.
01:04:58
It's terrible. It's fucking hands. It's crazy. Also, like, you're working at the recycling plant.
01:05:04
I bet you they're on, like, just pins and needles constantly because they're like, this is where something awful is going to show up.
01:05:11
Oh. You know what I mean? They're just like, every single thing. It's just like, hey, dude, it's just a Pepsi bottle.
01:05:18
Oh, my God. That's what I would be like. There's scaredy cats over there. Yeah. Is what you're saying.
01:05:22
Yeah. Okay. So the hands are brought to the fucking lab, you know. Uh, now can I ask an inappropriate question?
01:05:32
Always. Since we don't know who we're talking about and we're still in the early.
01:05:36
Okay. Do you think people carried the hands like this? Handshake style? Sorry. Sorry.
01:05:44
Sorry. My brain showed me a picture and then I said the words about the picture.
01:05:49
Sorry. That's the name of this podcast. Oh you know someone did that Um There an X right No it good Come back here Okay okay No shame here It was totally in the shame corner
01:06:06
Just between friends. Okay. There's no shame here. Yeah, we're all good. Okay. Take your binoculars out.
01:06:13
This is the portion where you... Okay. So they X-ray the hands to see... I don't know.
01:06:19
And they show that the joints... There's degenerative damage in the joints, which is consistent with someone over 60
01:06:25
and they're like, oh, these look like dude hands. They're dudes' hands. So it's a guy over 60.
01:06:31
It's pretty clear. Yeah. Unless you're a piano player. Oh, really? Do ladies piano playing hands?
01:06:36
You know, and they always like lotion up and wear gloves and stuff. No, no. Based on these fucking hands
01:06:41
that they just show you on forensic files, they're like clearly an older man's hand.
01:06:46
Okay. The size of the... There's one distinctive feature which they're hoping will identify eventually the person.
01:06:54
There's a thumbnail missing, like permanently or whatever. I know. Detectives check local hospitals and morgues.
01:07:00
They're like, does anyone not have their hands? Quick question, and then I'll let you go to lunch.
01:07:08
Yeah. And there isn't any. Meanwhile, and this is related maybe, meanwhile across town a woman named Mary and a woman named Terry, sisters.
01:07:19
I just, yeah. It's not their fault, it's their mom's fault. They're beginning to worry because they haven't seen their father in over a week.
01:07:31
Right. His name's Don Hardin, and they call everyone. No one's heard from him. They're like, where the fuck is he?
01:07:37
On April 6th, they hire a locksmith to get inside his house. His cane is still there.
01:07:43
His prescription medication is all there. He's not there. and there's like a TV guide open
01:07:48
on March 28th which makes them think that that was the last time he was home. Oh, TV guide
01:07:54
used to be such a like thing. I know, it's open to the TV guide. Yeah, like people would keep it there
01:08:00
and just be like, what is on tonight? Like that was before anybody would tell you anything
01:08:04
before the information age when it was up to you to find out what the fuck was going on.
01:08:11
Yeah. Well, that's, yeah. his TV, VCR and microwave are all missing I hope that was one machine
01:08:19
TV, VCR, microwave wouldn't that be, why haven't they made that and that TV guide was about everything
01:08:26
where it's like put in popcorn now oh, good idea the commercial break, brush your teeth
01:08:32
and now diagnosis murder so and also Don Harden's pickup truck is gone and so the sisters file a missing persons report
01:08:42
Let me show you his picture. He was an old Navy man. He used to be the Navy. Yeah.
01:08:48
He was a beard visionary. He knew what was coming in the future, the beard trend.
01:08:53
He knew. He was totally from Brooklyn. So that's Don, retired, widowed, moved to San Diego to be closer to Mary and Terry.
01:09:04
and okay so while they file the missing persons report police hear that this guy don is missing
01:09:13
a thumbnail on his hand and so they know immediately that in the fingerprint analysis
01:09:18
and the hands are those of i'd light about his age he's 74 oh okay um he's a retired navy pilot
01:09:24
and they search his home and find evidence of robbery but no signs of forced entry
01:09:29
they look out for stolen items at pawn shops and shit but the only thing that's found is this wallet, driver's license
01:09:36
and some army medals in a dumpster which is crazy that they were even found, right?
01:09:41
Yeah. In the kitchen, it's obvious to detectives that there's been a clean up as well as
01:09:49
a trail of blood from the kitchen to the living room. They do the luminol shit and the shower curtain's missing
01:09:58
always a bad sign. And they find blood stains, etc. They do the luminol, and large pools of blood in both the kitchen and the bathroom are found.
01:10:07
One of the investigators said it was the most luminol he's ever seen light up in his life.
01:10:12
And he said it glowed like a Christmas tree. So the worst Christmas tree ever. It's so funny, too.
01:10:19
Like, as you say the word luminol, it's like you can track how crime scene investigation has developed.
01:10:26
because before the DNA thing, it was all about that luminol. Every Forensic Files episode.
01:10:33
Every Forensic Files, there was a moment where there's the B-roll footage of a light going off and everything turning horribly blue.
01:10:41
I wonder if they still even use it. I'll make some calls. Okay, thank you. Okay.
01:10:46
DNA tests show, DNA tests from 94, which I'm sure were great, show that the blood is Dawn Hardens,
01:10:54
And the amount of blood, the forensic pathologist is like, he died for sure. And then they were like, also he was dismembered in the bathtub.
01:11:06
Based on the blood. I know. It sucks. So police tell the Hardin's daughters, and they're completely in fucking shock because they don't know anyone who would want to kill their dad.
01:11:15
He's like a lovely man to that, you know, a kind man. And as evidence to this, he always aided homeless people.
01:11:23
And one of the ways he did that was hiring them to do odd jobs around his property.
01:11:28
And he would let them live in a camper in his backyard as well. Foreshadowing. But neighbors all, well, let's see.
01:11:37
Okay, hold on. Okay. And the daughters were kind of glad that someone was there with him so they could keep an eye on him in case of emergencies.
01:11:45
He's an older man. He uses a cane. and on March 28th the day that the TV Guide was open to
01:11:51
in 94, Don is last seen by neighbors driving his truck and one of those homeless men is a passenger
01:11:57
in that truck. His name is Dale Whitmer He's a 41-year-old drifter who has a record for vacancy and intoxication, but no history of violence.
01:12:07
And they see him later in the truck, and Don isn't there. And they see him backing up close to Hardin's house and putting shit in the truck and latering the days.
01:12:20
So they pick him up for questioning. He denies knowledge of Don's whereabouts, doesn't know what happened to him.
01:12:26
He says he loaned him the pickup truck, but hadn't seen him since. and says that he had worked for Don Hardin on and off for years,
01:12:34
and he thought of the old man almost like a father figure. But friends and neighbors are like, no, he fucking doesn't,
01:12:40
because he was talking shit all over town about Don Hardin. And he said that Don had a bad temper,
01:12:49
and he was always calling him names and poking at him and yelling at him, he says,
01:12:54
because he was working around his house. That was his side of the story. Um, so, so they asked him to do a polygraph test.
01:13:04
He's like, nope, out of there. And he's obviously the lead suspect, but they only had circumstantial evidence.
01:13:10
There's no other, you know, body parts to be tested. So there's no other leads and the case goes cold.
01:13:17
And then a year later, police receive an anonymous letter. Oh wait, I have a photo of Dale Whitmer.
01:13:24
Oh. Patrick fucking Swayze. Oh. His evil twin brother. Yes, this was before the outsiders.
01:13:32
Yeah. I don't, we've said it a thousand times, but you do, transition lenses, it is 17 red flags in a row.
01:13:42
Yeah. You don't, your convenience of having sunglasses indoors to intentionally creep people out so they can't watch your pupils as they narrow and as you find your prey.
01:13:56
Yeah. Just don't. Just don't. Absolutely not. were against them. So, okay, a year later, they receive an anonymous letter.
01:14:04
And in the letter, it details the murder of Don Harden. And it's a bunch of shit that hadn't been released to the public.
01:14:13
However, then they were like, for the fact that he was dismembered in the bathtub.
01:14:17
And it's like, well, where the fuck else would he? You could have guessed that pretty easily, right?
01:14:20
Yes, that's true. Like, I don't know. But they knew that. And so the cops thought it was legit.
01:14:27
and the writer was like, I know all this info. My friend, let's call him Bob, he's the one who knows who the killer is
01:14:37
because he told him about it, and it's Dale Whitmer. So he said he killed him because Dale hated Don Harden,
01:14:46
and he was a heroin addict, so he wanted to pawn his shit. And he claims that he put the body into the bathtub, dismembered it,
01:14:56
and then put it in garbage bags, bearing different bags all over the county and in Mexico.
01:15:01
Wow. Yeah, and the fucking, yeah. Fucking yeah. Yeah, truly. So the letter goes on to say that this person, Bob,
01:15:10
who had told this letter writer about it, won't come forward to testify against Dale.
01:15:14
He doesn't want to tell anyone about it. And the letter writer says, quote, I asked him to contact you directly,
01:15:21
but he didn't feel like he could do it. Bob is convinced that Dale will know Bob
01:15:25
is the source of the information and may try to silence him or hurt him in some way.
01:15:29
So this fucking person doesn't even want to talk about it. And it's clear to the police that the person who wrote the letter does want to help, though.
01:15:36
So they're like, let's find this person who wants to be anonymous. Great. Luminol.
01:15:43
No. Let's put Luminol on everything right now. So the Forensic Document Office in San Diego Police Department, they analyze the letter.
01:15:51
And so here's the thing. This is a mistake that you won't make in the future, I guess, when you're committing a crime or writing an anonymous letter.
01:16:00
The person who sent it doesn't put a stamp on it. He puts it through the office automatic picket, you know, the stamp machine.
01:16:08
Sure. He does that. That's a mistake because the postal meter, it prints a number on the envelope with the stamp of the serial number of the meter.
01:16:20
but the person who wrote the letter was like I'm smarter than this, I'm not going to give them that number
01:16:25
and he uses just white out yeah so he went out of his way to conceal that number
01:16:33
he knew what it would do but he didn't cut it teeny tiny scissors and get rid of it
01:16:40
he used white out he used a thing that never worked and shouldn't have been invented
01:16:47
because I can't tell you how many book reports the piece of binder paper weighed three pounds
01:16:53
because I fucked up so many words. And it's just big clumps of weird white paste.
01:17:00
With like torn... Yeah. No. No. Which is also so pure at heart. This person was like,
01:17:07
I really want to talk about this murder. I don't think it's right. I'm going to...
01:17:10
He's just like clearly is... Let me get my school supplies and see what I can do.
01:17:13
Yeah. Let's see. So obviously the forensic document experts were like, are you fucking kidding me?
01:17:23
I could do this in my sleep, bro. But it's an episode of Forensic Files, so they need to make it long.
01:17:29
And so they look for trace evidence, latent evidence, and then they eventually just turn the envelope over, cut it in half.
01:17:42
Hold it up to the sun. and use what essentially sounds like a fucking black light
01:17:48
or a fucking, what are those, lava lamps. It's that easy. You dip it into the top of a lava lamp Yeah and it comes out And they find the serial number And it turns out the serial number reveals the state the city the street name and the office address of the postal meter
01:18:06
Like, it couldn't be more. Hobbies, horoscopes, every single thing. That's right.
01:18:11
It's a business located in La Mesa, California. The owner of the company is a dude named Mark Davis,
01:18:20
and he's a bishop at the Mormon Church. so the cops walk in and he's like fuck I'm never trusting Whiteout again
01:18:29
and he's like look the source of the information because he was the writer because someone
01:18:37
had told him about it right so he was like first of all I'm wearing secret underwear
01:18:42
secondly let me just get this off my chest I'm wearing a strange garment and I hate Whiteout
01:18:51
but but but so he's like here's the thing the person who told me about it is a member of my church so I have
01:18:59
you know privilege whatever church privileges so I don't have to tell you anything
01:19:05
it's quoted and the cops are like oh yeah we're gonna fucking take you to court and we're gonna God's gonna be like those aren't your privileges anymore
01:19:16
and they do and God is like or the judge is like yeah, you can tell us. And the reason, the judge
01:19:26
rules against him and says that the privilege was already broken when this guy Davis wrote the letter to the
01:19:32
police. Ooh, that's true. But it's almost like, well, you broke it already. You might as well
01:19:36
fucking spill. It's like kind of okay, you know. Oh, I'm on the judge's side. Okay.
01:19:42
Well, so is everyone else. I am too. I want... Tell it to these people. We don't want it
01:19:48
to be solved. So they're like, dude, just tell us everything. And so Mark Davis, the
01:19:54
Mormon church bishop is like, shit. Okay. The person who told me about Dale Whitmer being
01:20:01
the fucking murderer is Jesus Christ of the Latter-day Saints. When he appeared to the
01:20:09
Cowboys in Arizona. That's right. One of those ones. It's Dale's fucking daughter. What?
01:20:16
That's his own daughter, Andrea, who was Bob, who told the bishop. About the other guy.
01:20:25
Yes. My dad's the one who did it. Right. So, yeah, apparently he told her everything,
01:20:33
and she fucking told her bishop, thinking it was privilege. The bishop was like, I can't keep this, and told.
01:20:40
So, on October 29, 1996, Dale Whitmer is charged with Don Harden's murder. He pleads not guilty, but the star witness against him is his own fucking daughter
01:20:49
who finds she's like, this is really hard. I don't want to, like, I have to tell the truth on the stand
01:20:55
because, you know, I'm swearing to God and shit. But I don't want to betray my dad, but he's a murderer.
01:21:02
So she fucking spills the beans. Yeah. Oh, I think I have a photo of her. She's like, this sucks.
01:21:10
Is that her in court? Yeah. She's like, Jesus. Literally. Awful. Secret undergarments.
01:21:18
So, um... So, they... Prosecutors theorize that Whitmer disposed of the body parts in numerous dumpsters.
01:21:25
I already said that. To this fucking day, the only thing that's ever been found was the hands.
01:21:29
Really? Yeah. How crazy is that? It just makes you wonder what's in landfills and shit.
01:21:35
Well, that's why we're going to go to one tonight. Everybody, do it! After party!
01:21:40
I was thinking we should go and open all the cages at SeaWorld and let all the animals out
01:21:47
you're free why aren't you leaving all those fish cages you're free come on, come on
01:21:58
why are you sitting there they're like we've only ever lived here please don't make us go out there
01:22:03
we don't know how to catch fish unless someone throws it from a bucket someone train us
01:22:09
They want to be there. Nope, nope, nope. That's like your Aunt Diane's response.
01:22:19
They love it there. Oh my God, we went and that orca was smiling. No, no, you just have vacation guilt.
01:22:28
Okay, so the jury of course finds Dale Whitmer guilty of second degree murder and he's sentenced to 15 years to life in prison
01:22:36
with the eligibility of parole in just 10 sweet years. Yep. And so he has petitioned for parole but is denied every time, thankfully.
01:22:48
The parole board cites the fact that he hasn't taken part in any rehab program and he's not working to better himself behind bars.
01:22:57
And he doesn't show any remorse and he's considered a risk to the public, so he hasn't been paroled.
01:23:04
Good. Yay. Yes. Hey, something to clap for. After the trial, Don's... Oh, wait, let me show you this one.
01:23:13
That's him looking like Patrick Swayze again. Doesn't he? Uh-huh. With, like, yellow hair?
01:23:20
Everything's beige. He goes and he tans his face, sunglasses, and hair. Yeah. After the trial, Don Hardin's hands are cremated,
01:23:35
and his ashes are buried by the U.S. Navy at sea off the coast of California. His daughters feel closure
01:23:42
after their father has his proper burial at sea because it was one of his final wishes
01:23:47
that they were able to carry out. Oh, nice. That is the murder of Don Hardin, a.k.a. Hand Delivered.
01:23:54
Hand Delivered Man It so especially awful It like we talk about things where it random crime
01:24:06
We talk about things where it's like in the horrible in the family crime. But this is a person who got murdered because he was helping somebody.
01:24:14
And that's fucking awful. Never help people. If you leave here with anything tonight is keep all your money in your pocket.
01:24:23
and also leave here with those binoculars stick them in your purse I dare you the message is steal the binoculars everybody
01:24:30
we don't know why we wish we did the fucking theater like charges us for all that
01:24:35
they're like they told them to steal the binoculars they gave permission from the stage
01:24:41
do we have time for a hometown? it's time oh my god we're sitting down for so long
01:24:49
oh to our manager Vince April, everybody What's up? Yeah Tour manager Husband Extraordinaire
01:25:00
You got us off that overpass I'm in a legal contract With the lady in the lobby I gotta get those binoculars back
01:25:07
Oh, shit Did you take them now? Okay Stage or not They don't fuck around With the binoculars in this place
01:25:13
I've got some cash Make sure I get them back I'm gonna be right over there Okay Thank you
01:25:18
Thank you so much Vince April, everybody Vince April holding it down making it happen for us
01:25:26
that's right hey okay I think it's important to state that this is the first fucking
01:25:31
hometown of 2019 yes of the tour let's run down I won't do the same rules I always do
01:25:39
most people know them this is what we forgot to say in the beginning there are definitely some people in this room
01:25:45
who A. got brought by another person have no idea what's going on and still don't to this moment
01:25:51
Welcome. Hi. How are you? Thank you for not leaving. Thank you for giving us the benefit of the doubt.
01:25:56
Thanks for just having that weird smile on your face and rolling your eyes. We can't see you. It's perfect.
01:26:02
One of our last shows last year, we found this out afterwards when we met some people in the meet and greet line.
01:26:11
Remember this? I can't remember what city we were in. Maybe it was Austin. and there were some older ladies who came to the show
01:26:20
because they thought it was murder mystery theater. I forgot all about that. How have we not talked about that on the podcast?
01:26:28
I know. We'll have to put that on our list. You guys are the first to know. So these girls that sat next to these ladies said that in the beginning they were like,
01:26:35
what's this? They thought it was going to be like an interactive play. And meanwhile we're like, fuck shit and also fuck.
01:26:45
Yeah. And they left. No, they did not leave. Oh, good. All right. There was a different show where people got up and stormed out
01:26:52
because they were season ticket holders. And they thought it was Phantom of the Opera Part 2.
01:26:57
Yes, yes. I'm not kidding. I'm not fucking kidding. Because of the picture, I guess?
01:27:02
The poster. Were we all serious? Because I'll only show half of my face. It makes you look serious and mysterious.
01:27:09
They thought it was the sequel to Phantom of the Opera. Yeah. it's nothing better than those audience stories
01:27:16
that we get after okay so anyway the point is what we're trying to say is this is the part where
01:27:21
Georgia will pick somebody out of the audience to come up and tell everybody their hometown story
01:27:27
please keep in mind that this is a humongous theater the lights are going to be up
01:27:32
and it's going to be very nerve wracking so it'll be great if you're not drunk or on meth
01:27:37
it's better or you can be a little drunk but you have to be able to follow your own story.
01:27:44
And it has to be local or everyone will reject you socially. And it's really good if it's a little bit maybe weird or uplifting
01:27:55
or there's some kind of up part. A pop at the end. Yeah, a little pop, as Georgia likes to say.
01:28:02
And then just remember that if you get picked, everyone else hates you, so hurry the fuck up.
01:28:07
All right. Now, if we could have the house lights up just for a second so Georgia can pick the first hometown.
01:28:13
Thank you. I don't... Oh, I hate doing this so much. You shaking your... Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:28:23
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was fast. Sorry. Holy shit. Hey, get your binoculars out
01:28:29
while she's on her way up. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm looking at your... Oh, she's got a midriff shirt on.
01:28:38
She fucking parties. This is going to be amazing. You can bring those house. So thank you.
01:28:46
Yeah. You know. Thank you. The light person is on point. Oh, hi. Hi. How are you?
01:28:52
Oh, my God. Look at your outfit. Delaney. This is Delaney, everybody. Say hello to her.
01:29:01
Yes. I love your outfit. Yes. She wore her show clothes. So imagine this material, but in tight pants is what I had.
01:29:09
is what I wore. I've been sweating so much under this tonight. It's crazy. You sweat
01:29:13
a lot in vinyl. It's all plastic. It's right. It doesn't breathe. Where are you from Delaney? I am from San Diego.
01:29:20
I live out in Alpine which is way east. It's kind of like the Petaluma maybe of San Diego. Kind of like
01:29:27
everybody has like farm animals and like my neighbors have donkeys and it's crazy. Awesome.
01:29:34
But anyway, so my hometown burner. I just iced Delaney on the Petaluma parallel. I was just like, hmm, we'll see
01:29:43
We'll see I was waiting for you to be like, what's your hometown? But you just stared at her
01:29:49
That was a serious power move on my part I don't know what I'm doing Mine is the murder of Danielle Van Dam Yeah it was pretty crazy She was murdered in about I think it was 2002 And she was just about the same age as I was when it happened which was about six seven years old
01:30:09
And I was so terrified that I slept on my parents' floor of their bedroom for about five years.
01:30:16
Wow, yeah. Years, really? It was a couple years. They called somebody and they were like, what do we do?
01:30:22
I mean, it's bad. Yeah, it was bad. Did they at least put like a cot down or something?
01:30:27
I slept in a sleeping bag for a while. Yeah. That's awful. Well, that's a very young age to like realize something like that happened.
01:30:35
Yeah. No, it was. Yeah. So she was, she lives and was abducted in Poway area. But she was found, her body a month later was found on Dehisa Road, which is near Alpine.
01:30:49
It's very like rural. Yeah. Yeah. So what happened was it was early February 2002.
01:30:57
She was her husband was or the husband was home, the dad, and tucked in Danielle and her brothers.
01:31:06
And the mom was out at a local bar and they were kind of known as being more like drinking parents.
01:31:11
I ever know this one. You know what? Yeah. Oh, my God. So the mom got home like around when the bar closed with a couple of friends around 2 a.m.
01:31:20
and she noticed, I think it was her garage, like side door was open and the alarm, their security
01:31:27
alarm was off. And so she kind of like blew it off. Like it was nothing, hung out with her friends
01:31:33
for a little bit and then went to bed with her family. And then a little bit later, the husband
01:31:38
woke up, I think to the alarm off again. And I believe it was a siding glass door that was open.
01:31:43
So again, kind of blew it off. Like it was nothing, went back to bed. And about nine 30,
01:31:49
the next morning, they woke all their kids up, you know, Danielle was missing. Nothing wasn't
01:31:56
anywhere. So they called the cops immediately. And I believe at the time it was the biggest search
01:32:01
effort in all of California history for search teams. Um, and so it was a whole month that she
01:32:10
was missing. They did not find anything. And it was David Westerfield, her next door neighbor,
01:32:15
I believe two doors down, had abducted her in the middle of the night, taken her in his RV,
01:32:21
and then went out to Silver Strand State Beach, where you can beach camp, over in Coronado.
01:32:28
And then out after that, I don't know how long he was there, but it was about a month total.
01:32:33
He went out to Glamis out in the desert after. And there's even videos you can find online of he got stuck and had to get pulled out by people.
01:32:42
um so when they found her um it was at the end of february so it was just about a month and
01:32:49
it was really a rural area and they did not they could not confirm her cause of death or whether
01:32:56
she was sexually assaulted and he they found the police found a ton of um child pornography all
01:33:03
over his computers and everything so you can assume but um yeah they weren't able to find
01:33:09
anything. And at the time, they built a huge, it was a pink staircase, I believe, that was
01:33:14
her memorial on Dahisa. And I remember my brothers were taking, right across the street
01:33:20
was a golf course, and they were taking golf lessons. So at the time, I drove there every
01:33:26
day, dropping them off at golf lessons, and I was super terrified. I saw it all the time. Did the guy get arrested and shit?
01:33:32
Yeah, he's, I believe in San Quentin. And I don't know if he got the death penalty or
01:33:36
not, I can't remember, but I know he's at least there for life. Um, if not the death penalty. Okay.
01:33:40
Say her name again. Danielle Delaney. No, no, no. The girls. Oh, Danielle Van Damme. Danielle Van Damme.
01:33:45
And there's a memorial overpass in El Cajon for her. So you'll probably see her name.
01:33:49
You guys drive down there. That's great. Delaney. Thank you so much. Great job. Give it up for her.
01:33:59
Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Oy. Such shit. You find out when you're a little kid. That's just like,
01:34:06
oh, this is real life. I feel like most of us murderinos, that's what happened. Yes, exactly.
01:34:11
Also, it's extra creepy like being five or six when Delaney was and then it's like,
01:34:16
oh, a neighbor. You know what I mean? So you live in that world where you're like,
01:34:20
oh, the neighbor, everybody's friends and everybody protects each other. It's got to be some monster
01:34:24
who did it. Yeah. It's your fucking neighbor. Two doors down, that's fucking horrible.
01:34:28
That's why we're here. Well, wow. That's how we like to wrap things up. Awful memories.
01:34:36
Awful local memories. Yeah. Let's all remember, you know, the gold. Yeah, that's right.
01:34:42
Thank you guys for fucking being in our first show of the fucking year. Semester.
01:34:50
That was an amazing kickoff. Thank you. I mean, I don't know. This has been such an incredible experience.
01:35:00
We have such a good time. Well, not when you do that. We have such a good time. The fact that we get to come out here, come to these shows, you guys bring so much energy and positivity and excitement.
01:35:14
And then we get to talk about this thing we're fascinated by that's fucking horrible.
01:35:19
It's very freeing. It's also very, it's kind of very life affirming in a weird way.
01:35:25
It's like saying these are the things, these are my biggest fears. And everybody else going, yeah, those are mine too.
01:35:30
And we get to laugh about it. We get to do things the way we want to do them. and we don't have to give a shit about who's judging us because we're all together
01:35:38
and that's an amazing feeling for us and we're glad that it's an amazing feeling for you too
01:35:43
uh and we just can't believe we keep getting to do this the start like we keep waiting for you know
01:35:53
not to sell out anymore and not tour because they're over it yeah you guys are here it's the
01:36:00
tour. Thank you so much again for supporting us. Yeah. You're insane. You're here. We're here.
01:36:05
It's very fun. And we thank you so, so much. So much. Do us a favor. Stay sexy. And
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