00:00:00
This is exactly right. and listen now. Joy 101 with Hoda Kotb is presented by CVS.
00:00:36
Before NXIVM, Nancy Solzman wanted to help people. Being able to help somebody, it's probably the biggest motivator of my entire life.
00:00:44
She trained in something called neuro-linguistic programming. People loved our training.
00:00:49
Then everything changed. Yeah, and they called it a cult. How does a method designed to improve lives end up in a cult?
00:00:56
A knife in the hands of a surgeon is an amazing tool. A knife in the hands of a murderer is a weapon.
00:01:03
Listen to Mind Games on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:01:26
Claressa Shields and comedian Wanda Sykes to talk about Wanda's new movie, Undercard, the art of trash talk and what it really means to be ladylike.
00:01:33
Open your free iHeartRadio app, search the Matchup with Aaliyah, and listen now.
00:01:37
Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports Network. Hello and welcome to my favorite murder. The Minisode. That's Karen Kilgara. Oh,
00:02:03
that's Georgia Hardstart. We're here to read you your emails you've sent to us. That's right.
00:02:10
You know this vibe. Yeah, we asked for them. So it's not like you're assaulting us. It's like a
00:02:15
we're sharing. I didn't mean to. I meant the listener. Oh, no, no. I meant them too.
00:02:21
You want to go first? It's not like you're assaulting us. We demand that they send
00:02:26
us emails nonstop. This isn't a problem. This isn't. No, no, this isn't. We're not in a fight.
00:02:31
Just so you know, like the approach should be we are totally getting along great.
00:02:36
Us and the listeners. Yes. Yeah. And you and I. And you and I. I feel like for myself across the
00:02:42
board, I'm doing very good. I feel like this whole podcast was a misunderstanding. I should we erase
00:02:47
this? All right. Yeah. Wait, am I going first? Oh, do you want to? Yeah, absolutely. Why not?
00:02:54
Whatever isn't going to cause a fire. We're teetering on the fucking edge here. So whatever.
00:03:03
Whatever you want. All right. Well, then I'll go first so I don't start screaming.
00:03:08
This one's called gravestone repair and archaeology. Hi, Karen, Georgia and Steven.
00:03:15
I heard you talking about at Lady Tafos, which is the Instagram I recommended and her gravestone
00:03:22
cleaning on the episode this week and was super excited because I am an archaeologist and gravestone
00:03:27
conservator. I'm currently doing my PhD in archaeology, studying early 17th century graveyards.
00:03:35
And my husband and I have started a small business to restore and clean historic gravestones in our
00:03:40
providence of Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada. Okay, this is like a show you would watch. I feel
00:03:47
this is the beginning of a TV drama mystery that you would watch. Grave cleaner? The grave cleaners
00:03:54
of Labrador? Yeah, and they're like this cute couple. Yeah, maybe there's a mystery every time they go
00:04:00
to a different cemetery. Is their house haunted? Is every cemetery haunted? Of course.
00:04:04
And then they have to solve for someone's... For someone's ancient murder? Yes. Or have to reunite. Maybe it's not like a murder.
00:04:14
Maybe it's like a reuniting these two long lost loves what was jennifer love hewitt's ghost both dead yeah
00:04:20
hers was ghost whisperer yes which i actually is that right yeah is it is that right karen you got
00:04:28
it i've never seen an episode i actually there was a time that i really it was so like quaint
00:04:36
you know all right so anyways that's here's the thing i would never argue the talent or the
00:04:43
career of Jennifer Love Hewitt. She was a child actor. She was a tween actor. She was a teen
00:04:50
actor. She's been an adult actor. She's been killing it for decades back to back. You can't
00:04:55
argue it. Do you think her and Anne Hathaway are best friends? Either they're best friends or
00:05:01
they're intensely passive aggressive acquaintances. You know what I mean? Where they're like beautiful,
00:05:07
beautiful ingenue types who have to pretend they get along. It's a bad look for both.
00:05:13
So they're like, good to see you. And the smiling is like vicious, the most vicious smiling.
00:05:20
Do you think for each other's birthdays, they send them these bouquets, but the kind that when they die, the stuff gets everywhere and it's hard to clean up.
00:05:29
You know what a gross bouquet is? No offense to people who like this. but I can't if there's a lily in a bouquet that's odor which is straight up funeral home smell yeah
00:05:42
it's just like that I'll always go right up and just be like plunk put that outside yeah
00:05:47
all right I'm glad we worked that out because they love each other that's right um oh and then
00:05:52
she says it called black cat cemetery preservation which I feel like you appreciate and I do fully so I was trained in gravestone repair while working for Woodland Cemetery in London Ontario a few years ago And I had the honor
00:06:06
with you of restoring stones for the dead who have no one to clean their stones and for family
00:06:11
members who thought their relatives gravestones were gone. But the most amazing gravestone I've
00:06:16
ever worked on was for a 17 year old named Robert Cooper, who died at work in a soda water factory
00:06:23
in 1871. The large, high-pressure cylinder he was carrying ruptured, and the force
00:06:31
threw him into the ceiling, killing him instantly. Oh, no. As a result of the horrible accident,
00:06:38
laws were changed around how many times a high-pressure container could be repaired.
00:06:43
So, like, no more Band-Aids on that thing, you know? Yeah, right. Get rid of that thing.
00:06:50
As it was a faulty repair that failed and killed him. We found his gravestone sunken under the grass and were able to raise it and clean it with water, a soft brush and D2, which I was reading about because I want to buy it.
00:07:03
A safe cleaner that doesn't damage stone and laid it on packed gravel for drainage.
00:07:09
The most amazing thing is that the gravestone has a picture of the very thing that killed him carved into it.
00:07:15
Oh, no. It almost looks like a bomb. One of the most unique gravestones I've ever seen.
00:07:20
And then she said, see attached. So let's put that up on the page. It's an honor to share his story with you all.
00:07:27
Thank you for taking the time to read it. The best part of my job is helping these gravestones stick around a little longer so we can help people long past still tell their stories.
00:07:36
Hoping to see you live again one day when things and groups are allowed again. Robin L.
00:07:43
Wow, that's very cool. Yeah, I love that. That's like a whole kind of niche. I won't call it an industry, but like area that I've never even thought of that.
00:07:54
Like, I've seen several things on Twitter now about that restoration, that type of restoration.
00:08:00
It's so cool. And it just reminds me of the things that I always wish. Like, don't don't only listen to your school guidance counselors about what you can do with your life.
00:08:08
You know, it's not just fucking business and industry. There's so many cool passion projects that you can turn into a business.
00:08:16
That's really cool. I feel like these younger generations know that because they're such internet children.
00:08:25
Right. That they're like, that's correct. Everything's possible. Where it's like, oh, sorry, we're from the 80s where you had four choices of everything.
00:08:32
That's right. Four choices of TV channels, jobs, with the soda at 7-Eleven. Like whatever it was, there was four.
00:08:39
Make the best of it. There was four. They had to come up with the number five just to give us more options.
00:08:46
And it happened in 1986, ironically. I don't know. What a missed opportunity. Oh, you know what that also is going to make me say, and I don't think we said this last time,
00:08:55
but this is strangely coming full circle because we have merch. I wonder if we still sell it.
00:09:02
The merch that has the decoration with the skull and the wings, that is a design that was taken from a Victorian gravestone.
00:09:10
gravestones. Yes, you're so good tie-in, Karen. Right? The artist that designed that t-shirt for
00:09:17
us went through old Victorian, like old-fashioned 1800s or 1700s gravestones I think in Boston
00:09:25
and found that design to put on that shirt. We were thinking ahead of even the podcast
00:09:33
that we didn't even know this would be a thing. No brag, but we're visionaries! At least the merch team is.
00:09:40
Oh, send us. Yeah, exactly. Send us. I don't know. Do you do that for a living to send us the coolest gravestone or like story from a gravestone
00:09:48
that you've uncovered? We'd love to hear it. I was on a road trip one time and we were in way northern California, like way up by
00:09:57
Arcadia or the way the way north northernmost city that now I can't think of. But anyway, Stephen, I was going to say Arcata or Arcata.
00:10:07
Yes. but there's another one up there that I is the main one that like where the skunk
00:10:12
train goes and stuff like above yeah it's above Humboldt above Fort Bragg anyway it doesn't matter too bad
00:10:20
for me that I can't remember anything anymore so we're in these back roads we basically took a super interesting way
00:10:28
to get you know where we were going and we were so we were on a two lane back road there was nothing around it was just
00:10:34
fields on both sides and on the left side of the road it turned into like this hill that had big oak trees on it was kind of spooky and i looked up
00:10:44
and on one part of this hill there was a tiny very old cemetery that went straight up a hill
00:10:50
and it was the coolest looking and it was the kind of thing where it it happened like two seconds
00:10:55
so i was like it was that real it's like a family small little plot of yeah and in this very like
00:11:03
tucked away. I can't even explain how tucked away it was. That felt like a little gift.
00:11:11
Or that I was hallucinating lightly. Well, aren't hallucinations gifts too? Gifts from the lard?
00:11:19
Or whoever. Or Satan who loves cemeteries. If you're Satan and you love cemeteries,
00:11:27
email us at MyFavoriteMurder. And put in the subject line, I'm Satan who loves Just so we know it's you.
00:11:33
Yeah, just be like, it's me. And maybe put the devil on there just so we recognize.
00:11:40
Okay, I'm not going to read you the title of this one. It gives it away. Greetings and salutations.
00:11:45
In the recent mini-sode, you asked for our rabies stories. So here is mine. We did?
00:11:49
Well, we're smart. Yes, we did. Last November I was taking the compost out to our bin in the backyard at Twilight It a short distance It a short distance my wife and I live in Kansas City with a rather small backyard As I was making my way back to the house I saw something fly up my face
00:12:06
I stopped, completely shaken, but went on. I suddenly noticed that my shirt felt heavier than normal.
00:12:13
I looked down and there was a bat staring up at me, clinging to my shirt. My high-pitched scream was epic.
00:12:20
My wife, inside the house, thought that there was a cat in distress. But alas, no cat, just me with a bat hanging on my chest.
00:12:27
Oh, no. Luckily, I was wearing my leather gloves. It was November after all. So I quickly knocked it off my shirt and it flew away.
00:12:35
Oh, of course, I did what any millennial would do. I went inside and posted about it on Facebook.
00:12:41
Within minutes, friends began to comment that I needed to get a rabies vaccine. Some frantic Googling determined that the CDC recommends a rabies shot following any contact with a bat.
00:12:51
Wow. So off I went to the ER and I discovered, yes, I did need to get the rabies vaccine.
00:12:56
A total of six shots that night with another three over the next month and a half.
00:13:02
It is no joke to get that vaccine. For real. For real. In order to get me out of the ER quickly, the head nurse decided that they
00:13:09
could give me three shots at once and grabbed two other nurses. Oh, dear. This is my mother in action. Oh, no. Nurses are like, what's the problem? We need to get it taken
00:13:21
care of. You're going to feel pain either way. Let's do all the pain at once. I'm going to decide
00:13:27
for you. You aren't in a position to decide. Here we go. Here we go. Counting down from three.
00:13:33
Okay. One stood at each of my legs. The third stood next to my arm. And when the head nurse
00:13:39
said one, two, three, poke, they administered three shots simultaneously. After a few moments
00:13:46
to catch my breath. It was one, two, three, poke again. That was six shots. I had to come back to
00:13:53
the ER for my additional shots three times in the next six weeks for 10 shots in total. One time I
00:13:58
could hear my nurse talking to the head nurse about my shot when suddenly the head nurse who
00:14:03
had been there the first night shouted, I know this guy, the Batman is back. Despite my ordeal,
00:14:11
their rather terrifying appearance and the fact that they can carry rabies, bats eat millions of
00:14:15
bugs a year and are incredibly important to our ecosystem, they could use a little more love from
00:14:20
people. I think I want to thank you both for being so mental health positive. Listening to old
00:14:25
episodes during the pandemic encouraged me to start seeing a therapist again. Stay sexy and
00:14:29
get a rabies vaccine if a bat flies into you, Patrick. I feel like that they implanted something
00:14:36
in his brain that makes him like, you know, how cats can do to make you the mouse not afraid of
00:14:42
the cat because he's like but bats are still great i still love bats it's like he's been he's been
00:14:48
mind warped when he looked down at the bat that was on his shirt the bat looked up at him and sent
00:14:53
sonic uh sonic sound waves of trance-ness into his ear hole trance music and now he's a raver
00:15:00
he's a raver for bats he's a pro bat raver beautiful catcher i don't know why the idea
00:15:09
of a bat flying at him wasn't as bad as the idea of a bat hanging on his shirt. Like when you said,
00:15:16
and my shirt felt heavy, I was out. Yeah. Cause that means that bat had some real
00:15:22
heft. Thank you to it. Heft. I was going to say gravitas. Maybe he was a flamboyant bat too.
00:15:32
Listen to this. Did I ever tell you about the time I was at my old house? I was, I think,
00:15:38
sitting at the kitchen table writing and I got a weird feeling like I wasn't by myself.
00:15:44
And I looked down and there was a praying mantis on my arm. And when I looked down,
00:15:49
it turned its head and looked up at me. And they're so creepy. It's like having a tiny alien on your arm. And I screamed but didn't do anything because I didn't
00:15:59
want to hurt it. It jumped off or like moved off. Where are you looking that praying mantises are
00:16:04
just like coming in your house. Burbank, baby. Anything can happen. They didn't tell you that in the brochure of Burbank.
00:16:14
You've got to move there if you love pragmantises. Oh, but they're pretty cute. Okay.
00:16:19
Yeah, they are. This is just called Hometown Story and it goes, hello. Congratulations on five years of the pod.
00:16:26
You guys are truly amazing. I know you love Savior Pet Stories, so I'm writing in to tell you mine.
00:16:32
Yeah, yeah. This is a good anecdote to the bat. story. When I was three years old, my family went camping at a local lake. I was the youngest of all
00:16:40
my cousins and siblings, and I was constantly trying to keep up with them as a three-year-old.
00:16:46
They started climbing on some loose rocks near the edge of the water. And of course, I followed.
00:16:50
I was an incredibly clumsy child. And then I was like, you're three. Three years old. Yes, we all are. Don't worry.
00:16:58
And immediately slipped and fell into the lake. My mom's Rottweiler, Hannah, jumped in the water before any of the delts even had time to react.
00:17:09
Hannah swam under me and I was able to grab onto her back. No, no, no. She carried me back to the land.
00:17:16
She saved my life. Yes, she did, Hannah. She was probably smiling the whole time, too.
00:17:22
With her big old Rottweiler. She was like, my big chance. Here we go. It's my big chance.
00:17:29
Hannah was an absolutely amazing dog. And she was such a protector of me and my brother when we were little.
00:17:34
My mom recently told me about what I did as a five-year-old when I first got my black lab puppy, Casey.
00:17:41
I carried her to the garden where Hannah was buried and introduced them to each other.
00:17:46
Oh, no. Are you kidding me? I told Casey how good of a dog Hannah was and asked her to be a good dog, too.
00:17:55
Hannah is proof that the scary Rottweilers in the movies slash media is not the true narrative I always advocated for the breed and I truly believe there are no bad dogs only bad owners
00:18:07
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope you all have a wonderful day and I hope you snuggle
00:18:11
your pets a little extra. They truly love us more than we will ever know. SSDGM, Courtney.
00:18:17
Mine are all feel good today, by the way. That's good. I mean, hey, we need it. Courtney,
00:18:22
that was a lovely story about your dog named Hannah. I'd like to tell you a story about my dog named Frank,
00:18:27
who woke me up at 3.30 last night, barking, barking like someone was outside, scaring the shit out of me.
00:18:35
Then he went outside and I stood there at the sliding glass door, 3.30 in the morning, waiting for him to come back.
00:18:41
And he didn't come back for like 10 minutes. And then I was like, he went, he went and had an adventure by himself.
00:18:48
And I was like, Frank, Frank, because it's 3.30 in the morning. I can't actually call for him in any meaningful way.
00:18:54
And when he finally came back, he was crawling. He was walking super low. Like he knew he was being bad because he just like he hears me calling and he just chooses not to come.
00:19:05
So may we all have a Hannah in our life. But I guess I'm the bad owner because I got a Frank that's so goddamn Frank.
00:19:13
It's unbelievable. Well, I shouldn't come back with like an arm bone that she had dug up.
00:19:18
But I have I've been hearing noises. And so I, of course, was standing there. I'm like, what if Frank was like walking around the backyard?
00:19:28
He got pulled into a bush and there's someone back there like he was barking at a person.
00:19:32
His mind or someone tried to grab him. Can you imagine? Oh, that's right. He doesn't like being like kind of held or he can't be picked up.
00:19:41
You literally can't pick him up off the ground. He's a tank. He's serious. I think you're good.
00:19:45
But it is like it's almost like sending him out to go find what the problem is. And then he doesn't come back.
00:19:49
You're mad at him. Not like, well, he found the problem. And the problem is still there.
00:19:54
Yeah. And now he has a problem. It was a little it was like a little bit of like a horror movie mixed in with like Lilo
00:20:02
and Stitch or whatever. No, no, no. That's the wrong one. Milo and Otis. Milo and Otis.
00:20:07
It was like Milo and Otis has a dark turn where it's like, wait, he didn't come back?
00:20:13
He was supposed to. And George wouldn't go outside. That was the other thing that was scaring me.
00:20:16
Anyway. Keep your doors closed this time. Call the police, Karen. You don't need to be opening the doors for the intruders.
00:20:26
And you're like, yeah. I just figured I thought he was going to pee and come back in.
00:20:30
George just runs out and literally runs back in. Frank's like, goodbye. It's 3.30 in the morning.
00:20:35
Okay. Frank's like, I'm restless. I'm tired of quarantine. I want to go walk around.
00:20:41
I'm not going to read the title. It gives it away. Hi, guys, gals and furry four legged pals. Wonderful. The college bomb scare in my hometown from Minnesota 214 reminded me of a similar story from my high school. I went to a small K through 12 school in Lafayette, Colorado, Colorado. Wow. Colorado. Right outside Boulder. Yes. A lot of seniors smoked weed behind the dumpsters.
00:21:08
Yes, I know you're thinking about it. Let's just say it. One morning on my way, went on my way to school with the carpool.
00:21:18
Several police cars were redirecting traffic well away from the school and no one would tell us why.
00:21:23
So we went back home and turned on the news to find that a suspicious black duffel bag was found in the student parking lot around 7 a.m. that morning.
00:21:31
Naturally, the police were called, suspecting it was a bomb. Other students and teachers held a lockdown at the school.
00:21:37
A bomb robot was brought in to handle the duffel bag, and when it came to finally open it, law enforcement found several cans of spray-on deodorant and a Kermit the Frog doll.
00:21:48
The doll was colored with a Sharpie and cut up to look like it was beaten and bloody.
00:21:53
Apparently, a few junior-senior boys thought it would be funny to, quote-unquote, kidnap Kermit from a teacher's classroom and pass it around, giving it its wounds.
00:22:03
Two of the guys arranged a drop-off of the doll. One guy didn't want the doll and threw it out of his car into the lot where it was found the next morning.
00:22:12
They didn't get into any trouble with the police for this weird ass prank. And I can't remember if the school punished them or not.
00:22:19
But for the rest of my high school career, every January 25th was Kermit the Bomb Day.
00:22:24
What a holiday. Stay sexy and don't mess with Kermit, Lauren. Oh, my God. Teenage boys should just be locked up for four years.
00:22:33
also i think this is such an indication of like if somebody saw a like a suspicious
00:22:39
duffel bag in the parking lot of my high school people have been like somebody go get that duffel
00:22:43
bag okay but like you can kick that the furthest exactly exactly these days it's like call every
00:22:51
authority you can get on the phone yeah which isn't which look is how it is these days it is
00:22:57
joy is essential and it's also elusive but now there's a new and exciting way to start your
00:23:05
journey toward a more joyful existence joy 101 it's a new podcast hosted by me hoda kotby if
00:23:12
you're craving inspiration to maximize your joy tune into these candid uplifting and moving on
00:23:18
air chats open your free iheart radio app search joy 101 and listen now joy 101 with hoda kotby
00:23:26
is presented by CVS. 10-10 shots fired in City Hall building. How could this have happened in City Hall?
00:23:34
Somebody tell me that. A shocking public murder. This is one of the most dramatic events
00:23:40
that really ever happened in New York City politics. I screamed, get down, get down.
00:23:46
Those are shots. A tragedy that's now forgotten and a mystery that may or may not have been political,
00:23:53
that may have been about sex. Listen to Rorschach, Murder at City Hall on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
00:24:00
You get your podcasts. you get your podcast just listen we don't care where you hear it okay this one's called i'm the
00:24:36
teen photo lab worker in 1998 who knew all of your secrets and shit oh and i think this one
00:24:43
because my sister who was who's a photographer now had the same career job all through high
00:24:48
school at the photo one hour photo lab and so we got to see a lot of cool shit and got a lot of free
00:24:54
i have some of those terrible high school like dramatized photos of me that my sister took that
00:24:59
we got. I bet you do. Oh, you know, I do. Some glamour shot. I was a fucking glamour shot.
00:25:05
Do you ever wear a feather boa in any of them? No, there were these were artsy ones, you know,
00:25:09
like up in a tree. And then when she was learning how to like superimpose like another you and
00:25:14
you're looking at yourself. But I was like super into like, you know, raves and shit. So I get all
00:25:20
dressed up with the fake eyelashes and the wig. Sure. This was you were very heroin chic. I was
00:25:25
Thank you for saying that. I've been waiting for you to say that for five years.
00:25:30
I give you the credit. You are so rightly deserved. Thank you. OK, this says hi. OK, so you didn't ever ask for this specifically, but I think you're going to like it.
00:25:39
My first job was at the neighborhood one hour photo lab in Cherry Hill, New Jersey.
00:25:45
And then Cherry Hill, New Jersey, that's where that mall is. All caps, not Pennsylvania.
00:25:51
Lesson learned. That's right. I was 17 years old when I got hired. And 20 years later, I still think about that job every single day. I worked there for about five years. And wow, what a time. Something that most people never realized was that we had to look at all your photos, every single one of them. In order to balance color, control the exposure and check for dust, every printed photo was looked at by myself or another one of the three employees.
00:26:18
We were a standalone professional lab offering one hour service. So quality control was super important.
00:26:24
And for some someone curious by nature, checking every picture was the most thrilling part of my job.
00:26:30
You're shaking your head now. I mean, it is until until that day. Right. Until the day.
00:26:36
Well, I would it would take me a year to tell you everything I saw. But here are some highlights.
00:26:41
every suburban mother who got breast implants would take titty pics in her bathroom mirror
00:26:48
every single one multiple times oh shit because you couldn't you couldn't see what they look like
00:26:54
until you looked at photos you know not like now you can't see in the mirror yes but that's the
00:26:59
other way you won't be able to see them that way oh you wouldn't you couldn't just take a selfie
00:27:06
whatever the county coroner's office had an account with us and processed autopsy photos
00:27:13
whoa once i saw someone i recognized being taken apart no no one even bothered to get ndas which
00:27:21
still baffles me i was 17 what the fuck yeah they should have worn these yes that should be in the
00:27:29
training manual yeah absolutely that's insane so many people taking secret weekend vacations with
00:27:34
their side piece and then coming straight back home to their real life and finishing out the role of film with a family birthday.
00:27:41
No the smart ones would throw the negatives away on the spot and ask for an extra envelope for the separate pics The stupid ones do not Battling grandmas Two old ladies in the neighborhood had shared grandkids and they
00:27:57
hated each other. Grandma A would ask me to automatically crop Grandma B out of any of her
00:28:03
picks from the holidays. Well, Grandma B would try to give slip me a five dollar note. And she
00:28:09
said, that's not enough to sabotage Grandma A's photos with bad printing, but also make her a
00:28:16
copy of good pics of the kids. Two brothers. That is genius. I can't believe they both were like, I bet they would have if they had known the other
00:28:27
one was doing that, they would have become friends because they were both so fucking
00:28:30
sabotage. Yeah, exactly. You're a bitch, you know? Yeah. Same. I knew about major life events happening with my schoolmates that they didn't realize I
00:28:41
was privy to. Cancer battles, divorces, home sales, financial trouble, deaths of pets, car crashes.
00:28:49
I hold secrets like a fortress. But that lame ass saying you never know what battles people are
00:28:54
fighting is absolutely true, except I knew. And then she just said porn shoots. I never figured
00:29:01
out the location. The billing address for the account was a P.O. box, but there was a professional
00:29:06
porn set somewhere close by in suburbia. Wow. And they were, quote, required to take photos of sets
00:29:13
and actors during production, quote, for compliance, whatever the fuck that means.
00:29:18
OSHA. I never understood it. This was the late 90s, many years before the era of inadvertently
00:29:25
stumbling into porn on Twitter once daily. So the images were shocking to teen me. And yes,
00:29:32
extra copies got printed out and put in a drawer, but not by me. So think back to your 90s photos and realize that some curious local art teen was rerunning
00:29:43
your titty pics and side pieces because the color balance was off for the first time.
00:29:48
We need that shit to look its best. Stay sexy and never go digital, E. Oh my God, that's...
00:29:56
First of all, thank you, E, for knowing us so well that you would know that we would
00:30:00
adore this. Yes. It's perfection. And the idea that you are stupid enough to cheat on your spouse and take fucking photos.
00:30:11
I think it's cheap enough to not be like, well, I only took 16 out of 24. It doesn't matter.
00:30:18
But also, it's just like, you're so sorry. You're going to go away for the weekend with your secret lover, man or woman, and then be like, okay, go over by that rock.
00:30:27
Click. It's so lame. It is so unsexy. Oh, I have a couple more pictures in my camera.
00:30:32
Let's just use these real quick. I'll use these up. That's fine. It's just like, wait, so do you have a secret photo album?
00:30:39
Like what's right? What are those secret photos? It's called your glove compartment where you stash all your nerd, nerd cheater.
00:30:48
There's nothing worse than a nerd cheater. God, that's so good. If you also worked at a photo mat or did you ever see that Robin Williams movie?
00:30:57
One hour photo. So good. God, it's good. It was so good. It's good. If you had a job that you're like, you don't, you never, like, I'm sure bowling alley workers are like, what was your job that you're like, you don't understand what it was actually like here because this person worked there was a weirdo and that old timer was this.
00:31:15
Send those in to us. We want to hear about your jobs. Your bar back at the local bar.
00:31:21
Things went sour. What did you see? We love lists. Bullet pointed lists. Creepy, weird, odd.
00:31:29
the underbelly. This is the David Lynch email series. It's suburbia, but suddenly
00:31:37
you the 17 holding the secrets of everyone in town You the only person in town who hasn drank the Kool and you like I see all Because of course you an art teen That what your job
00:31:49
is to be bummed and observe it. Also, it would be just awesome if then you were in school
00:31:54
and then your math teacher is like, well, you didn't turn that paper in, so you're going to get
00:31:58
enough. And you're like, I don't think so. I saw what you did this weekend. You just hold up a picture? You do understand
00:32:05
how printing pictures works, don't you, Mr. Heavey? Oh, Karen. Yeah. I always got a plan.
00:32:13
Use things to your advantage. Strategize. Okay. My final one. This is an email. I'm not going to read you the whole thing because it gives it away.
00:32:23
But part of the title of this is pre-cell phone times. Oh, yeah. Which I think it's good to talk about.
00:32:28
That's right. This was two guys. I forgot to mention it. You might not know. This is pre.
00:32:32
You have to get all of your photos developed unless you have a fucking studio in your house,
00:32:37
which nobody does. Yeah. Okay, cool. It was such it was so different. Everything was. There was only four numbers,
00:32:42
as we've told you. Look, there was four numbers. There was four possible picture choices.
00:32:47
Birthday blowing out a birthday cake standing in front of a rock. Don't blow out a birthday cake.
00:32:53
Blowing a birthday cake off a table into your mean grandma's face while your other mean grandma
00:32:58
laughs at her. Okay, ready? Yeah. Pre cell phone time. Hi, everyone, human and otherwise.
00:33:05
One of my favorite stories happened when my sister's family came from Wisconsin to spend December 24th through January 31st with the rest of the family in Illinois.
00:33:14
Too long. Right? That's a good long visit. That's a month. This was a big deal because they were dairy farmers and it was difficult to get someone to care for the cows when they traveled.
00:33:25
That's true. They had to be back for the 5 a.m. milking on January 1st, but my sister didn't care.
00:33:31
She was going to visit with tons of relatives who would get to see how her toddler boys had grown.
00:33:37
On January 31st, her husband said that they should get going at 5 p.m., but she wanted to stay for my aunt's New Year's Eve party.
00:33:44
They compromised by going to the party, but only staying till 10 p.m. It was a five hour drive on a snowstorm and a snowstorm was coming.
00:33:53
She took the first turn driving since she'd had to entertain the boys on the way up and hope they'd be sound asleep by the time her husband took over.
00:34:01
That's very smart. She was also a little pissed she couldn't stay later. This was the early 80s.
00:34:06
So instead of car seats, the couch in the back of their conversion van was folded flat and dad and the boys stretched out on it unrestrained.
00:34:13
Yep. Yep. Oh, I went to my first concert in a conversion van with my friend Jennifer Mason, her mom and dad driving.
00:34:23
And it was like we got to be taken in a living room to San Jose to go see the band Chicago.
00:34:32
In a box? That was a traveling living room. With carpet on the walls and the floor.
00:34:38
The carpet was the only protection you had in case of a car accident. That's right.
00:34:43
And that would give you rug burn. Shag carpet rug burn was the airbag of the 80s.
00:34:49
It wasn't good. She drove for about two hours total, only stopping for gas around the state line.
00:34:55
The snow was getting pretty bad and she was getting tired. So she hissed, Gary, I need you to drive.
00:34:59
Being careful not to wake the boys. No answer. She whispered again, Gary, this isn't funny.
00:35:04
Figuring he was giving her the silent treatment after their disagreement before.
00:35:08
Finally, she pulled over and stormed to the back of the van. Her two boys were asleep on the couch, but her husband was not in the van.
00:35:15
She figured he must have gotten out at the gas station 45 minutes earlier. Not sure what to do, she decided to drive to the next payphone and call the state troopers.
00:35:25
She got to the payphone, started dialing, and who walks in behind her but Gary. What He did get out at the gas station He returned from the restroom just in time to see her pull away A couple who had gassed up saw the whole thing happen and said hop in buddy we catch her
00:35:44
All right. They lost my sister, the speed demon, in the storm. And after almost an hour said they reckoned it was time for Gary to call the state troopers and take it from there.
00:35:54
They happened to stop at the same rest area. Yes. My poor sister and Gary live in a tiny community in Wisconsin, and it was literally years before people would let her leave any gathering without saying, hey, don't forget Gary now.
00:36:08
Oh, how fucking annoying. The third time someone did that, she wanted. And then she's moving into year 17 of like, huh?
00:36:18
Very, very funny, Judy. OK. Stay sexy. And if you don't want to get left behind, always tell the driver when you exit the road trip vehicle.
00:36:25
Julie. Yeah, that was a good one. And also, you always have to tell your husband to watch your purse, even though there's no way he wouldn't watch your purse.
00:36:35
That reminds me, anytime I get up to go to the, you know, I used to go to restaurants, watch my purse.
00:36:40
And then I'd be like, why would he watch my if someone walked up and snatched my purse?
00:36:44
He wouldn't say, well, you didn't tell me to watch your purse. Yeah, it's very similar to when people get up and say, I'm going to go to the bathroom when you're at a restaurant with like friends.
00:36:53
Yeah. And I'd always be like, as people were standing up, I'd always go, where are you going?
00:36:57
because it's like there's there's true like unless you're going to drink at the bar alone
00:37:02
and get right and then come back to the dinner yeah there's really only one place anyone ever
00:37:06
goes but we always go like excuse me i'm gonna go to the bath right but we are we know we know
00:37:12
i know did you just say that to them when i tell you that i know you're like you're gonna go smoke
00:37:17
weed by the dumpster and we all know that we all know just like the kids in boulder
00:37:21
those were great guys fun times send anything send what's the scraps to the bottom of your purse
00:37:31
into my favorite murder at gmail we want to know we want to know everything about you
00:37:37
it's great for the relationship also stay sexy and don't get murdered goodbye Elvis do you want a cookie
00:37:46
Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcast presents Soccer Moms. So I'm Leanne.
00:37:53
Yeah. This is my best friend, Janet. Hey. And we have been joined at the hip since high school.
00:37:57
Absolutely. A redacted amount of years later, we're still joined at the hip. Just a little bit bigger hips.
00:38:03
This is a podcast. We're recording it as we tailgate our youth soccer games in the back of my Honda Odyssey.
00:38:08
With all the snacks and drinks. Why did you get hard seltzer instead of beer? Oh, they had a BOGO.
00:38:14
Well, then you got it. Listen to Soccer Moms on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:38:21
I'm Nancy Glass, host of the Burden of Guilt Season 2 podcast. This is a story about a horrendous lie that destroyed two families.
00:38:30
Late one night, Bobby Gumpright became the victim of a random crime. The perpetrator was sentenced to 99 years until a confession changed everything.
00:38:41
I was a monster. Listen to Burden of Guilt Season 2 on the iHeartRadio app. Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:39:17
Listen to Rorschach, Murder at City Hall on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.