00:00:00
This is exactly right. I'm Bailey Taylor, and this is it girl. This podcast is all about going deeper with the women shaping culture right now.
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Yes, we will talk about the style and the success, but we are also talking about the
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pressure, the expectations and the real work behind it all. As a woman in the industry, you're always underestimated.
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So you have to work extra hard in a way that doesn't compromise who you are and your integrity.
00:00:28
You know, I like to say I was kind of like a silent ninja. Listen to It Girl with Bailey Taylor on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:00:38
This is Special Agent Regal, Special Agent Bradley Hall. In 2018, the FBI took down a ring of spies working for China's Ministry of State Security, one of the most mysterious intelligence agencies in the world.
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The Sixth Bureau podcast is a story of the inner workings of the MSS and how one man's ambition and mistakes opened its vault of secrets.
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Listen to The Sixth Bureau on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:01:08
When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands.
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I vowed I will be his last target. He is not going to get away with this. He's going to get what he deserves.
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We always say that, trust your girlfriends. Listen to The Girlfriends. Trust me, babe.
00:01:30
On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello!
00:01:57
And welcome to my favorite murder, the mini-sode. The mini-mimi-sode. It's Tiny and Mimi's here.
00:02:05
She's an abusive to the dog, to the puppy. That's her job. And that's her job as a big sister.
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She's the queen cat and she's got to slap some puppy teeth out of puppy's mouth.
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That was the craziest thing I've ever seen. Georgia sends me a picture, texts me this picture and goes, look, Mimi just slapped this tooth out of Cookie's mouth.
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And it's her palm and the tiniest baby puppy tooth. I want to say in defense of Mimi that puppy teeth fall out.
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She's at that time. So it's almost like the big sister who tied the string around the puppies.
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You know what I mean? But it is aggressive. With her paw slapping. Yeah, except uppercut.
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And now Cookie won't come close. she barks at herself but she knows to keep her distance yeah you got to get that three foot
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radius around Mimi I think we all know that everyone knows that that's how it is with that
00:02:59
cat um are you ready to read some emails let's do it you want to go first let's do it okay yeah
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let's kick right off with uh the subject line flower is flammable Karen hi MFM crew sorry Karen but flower is not something you should put on a grease fire
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What if that's all the hometowns from now on is just about how wrong we were? Well, that's fine.
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I was wrong. Jim was wrong. I was wrong. I know. You actually, Georgia, you went.
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Are you sure? Like, you did have a pause about it. Thank you. So who cares? But I'm a follower.
00:03:35
So I was like, you must be right. Well, and also, you know, with the background of someone who is supposed to have 30 plus years experience.
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I gave you the benefit of the doubt. Yeah. I gave Jim the benefit of the doubt. We all do.
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We all do. Okay. But this is, it's worth it to get this email. Okay. So it says, hi, MFM crew.
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Sorry, Karen, but flour is not something you should use to put out a grease fire.
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It's super flammable and once blew up an entire mill in Minnesota. Hold on. On Mace.
00:04:07
Does she go on to tell the story? Because I have one too. Is this the same one? I mean, you go and then I'll go.
00:04:15
Yeah. It's not the same one. It's a totally different email about the exact same thing.
00:04:20
No, but I mean in the same state? I think so. Okay. Tell me about it. Let's find out.
00:04:25
On May 2nd, 1878, the Washburn A. Mill exploded in a ball of fire around 7 p.m. The explosion triggered a few others, and not only was the Washburn A. Mill destroyed, but several others in the waterfront area.
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14 men working the night shift at Washburn were killed and the city of Minneapolis's burgeoning flour industry, which had just overtaken Buffalo and St. Louis as the leading flour producer, had been reduced to a third of its capacity.
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It took firefighters all night to put out the flames and speculation began immediately that it was caused by an earthquake or a trainload of nitroglycerin or even bad gas from the Mississippi River that sparked the blast.
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The manager of the Washburn Mill claimed it was caused by flour. Two millstones that had become too dry rubbed against one another and created a spark.
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The ever-present clouds of flour dust in the mill went boom instantly and decimated the area.
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The manager's claim was later proven by two University of Minnesota professors, S.F. Peckham and Louis W. Peck.
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That's funny. Very similar last name. They are. They are. The mill's owner promised to rebuild and was as good or better than his word.
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He rebuilt the mill in about five years with several safety innovations and greater capacity.
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The mill is now a museum. I've never been. I'm from Massachusetts, not Minnesota.
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But I had to write this in after today episode where even home gym thought flour might put out a grease fire That shit can take down nearly a whole city So please use baking soda Sorry for the long corrections email You guys are great
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and I love you all. One of these days, I'll send you my six degrees of separation hometown story.
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I've been sitting on that for months, but showing off my knowledge of flowers' explosive powers got
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me writing within an hour of listening, even though I'm at work with tons to do.
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Stay sexy and don't explode in a cloud of flower, Jean. That was great. Mine's different, which is so which is funny that Lily pulled two different stories.
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Let's do. I love that. We have we have. What do you call that? Battling, battling explosive flower stories.
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God, that's crazy, though. Like who who knew? I mean, firefighters, except for Jim and a lot of civilians are tired for a while.
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He doesn't really care. He's he's the one that in the 1989. 1989 San Francisco earthquake.
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We were like, Dad, are you going to go in? And he was like, no, I'm not on the schedule.
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It's like I don't want to go in until they call me. America's hero, everyone. America's hero.
00:07:06
All right. OK, here's here's mine. Yeah. Hello, fire starters. Listening to you both discuss whether you can throw flour to put out a grease fire
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triggered a teenage memory of a damp, dark field trip to an industrial plant that made bricks.
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As fun as watching furnaces and slag is, the best part was when one of the workers,
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encouraged by 13-year-old boys, exploded stuff for us. Health and safety sat differently in the 90s.
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He also told us the story of a woman who blew up her flat whilst making a cake. She dropped a bag of flour in her small kitchen.
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Okay, so this is totally different. I was wrong. The concentration of the flour in the air was the right density to catch fire from
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the stove flame that was already lit. It turns out most things can explode if at the right
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concentrate in the air. According to Stuff You Should Know, other podcasts are available.
00:08:04
Flour and many other carbohydrates become explosive when they're hanging in the air dust.
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So don't drop. It's crazy. You can YouTube flour explosions if you want to see it in action.
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Of course, I decided to Google flower explosions. Oh, here we go. And found the 1979 Roland Mill disaster where 14 people died and 17 people were injured.
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According to Wikipedia, other poorly researched information sites are available.
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It was the largest peacetime explosion to date. A cable fire led to dust explosions, which triggered the flower silo to set on fire.
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The roof of the silo was blown off and the walls collapsed, tearing the whole building apart.
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Flower dust rained down across an area of 30 hectares and the fire burned for over a month.
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Oh, my God. So the moral of the story is if you're making a cake, remember, a moment on the lips, a building may be ripped.
00:09:03
This person is clever. Yeah. I have emailed you my college murder twice before, but even I have enough self-respect not to send it a third time.
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Love, Kate. Kate, you're clever. Kate, send it a third time. What is pride in quarantine?
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Yeah, in hometown. In hometowns, there is no pride. Send it and put it in the thing, in the subject.
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Lily, this is the Kate. But Lily, now everyone's going to do it. I know. Sorry, Lily.
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I mean, look, this is the best way. This is the way I like to learn. Yeah. This is why I like our podcast.
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This is why I like podcasts like our podcast. This is the way to learn by going, wait, sorry, this is not only is this was I wrong in giving this example, but here's how bad it could be.
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Here's exactly how in real life this can happen. Horrifying. Let's change the United States school system to fucking give examples of crazy stories.
00:10:05
Yes. You can tell me a fact and that's fine in science class. back it up with an episode of stuff you should know.
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Yeah. Anything that explodes, we'll learn about and we'll retain it. I'm sure there were exploding stuff and I still could not be bothered.
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I think you shouldn't go to high school until you're 24. Okay. This says hometown and family connections.
00:10:28
A little bit. This is a little bit long, but I think it's worth it. Right. Hello, lovelies.
00:10:32
I'm from a small rural town in Southern Wisconsin and grew up in one of the two local funeral
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homes. My grandfather was actually the OG director in his small town near Green Bay.
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Of his four children, one became a minister and the other three went into the family business.
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He had four locations that were split between brothers and my parents started their own business in another town.
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For them, growing up in a funeral home through the 60s and 70s is exactly what you'd imagine.
00:10:59
The funeral director was the only person that had a vehicle to accommodate a gurney, so he ran the ambulance service.
00:11:05
Oh, and my mom has stories of cleaning that out as a child after emergencies that would make your stomach turn.
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Hey, honey, go out and then do your homework. Grab that hose. Are you done with your homework? Grab the hose.
00:11:21
There really isn't enough time in the day to tell you all of her or my stories, but I'll try to hit some fun highlights.
00:11:27
My grandmother was from Almond, Wisconsin, which is right next to Plainfield. Plainfield. If that sounds familiar, it's because that's where Ed Gein lived.
00:11:37
My grandparents had stories about how he would give out canned meat during the holidays.
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And my grandpa actually gave him a ride one time while he was walking down a long country road.
00:11:49
Oh, my God. We hear Ted Bundy stories like close calls or whatever. This is fucking.
00:11:55
Ed Gein yeah Yeah Because that someone has tapped their grandparents for stories Totally It like a vintage version My grandpa said he was a creepy guy Go figure
00:12:08
I have a bunch of paranormal stories ranging from radio wars with spirits in the embalming room,
00:12:13
lazy TV watching spirits and spirits playing the piano in the chapel to a fully white slash
00:12:19
translucent young woman's spirit and I coming upon each other among the casket displays
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only to both be startled and run in the opposite directions. Oh my. This is the others.
00:12:33
That is like, she doesn't realize she's dead. She thinks she sees a spirit. Yeah.
00:12:40
And she might not be. Who the fuck knows? We don't know why we're worried. We don't know.
00:12:44
We don't know what side of the curtain we're on. That's right. However, I've been binging your podcast to see if you've covered my hometown murder.
00:12:53
And though I'm not all the way through, I've yet to hear it. This murder occurred in 1994 in Jefferson, Wisconsin.
00:12:59
High school teacher aide Diane Borchardt convinced three of her male students to kill her husband, Ruben.
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They were in the beginning of a divorce, this having been both their second marriages.
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I don't know how she convinced them exactly, but she took his and her children to his parents' house for an overnight visit.
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And that's when the boys broke into the home and shot Ruben. It didn't take long for one of them to crack and come clean to the police.
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The three boys and Diane were all sentenced to varying terms in prison. My parents did Ruben's funeral and my mom remembers it being pretty crazy.
00:13:34
She said there were undercover cops all around because they suspected Diane of being involved and wanted to keep a close eye on her behavior.
00:13:43
The Lifetime movie about this murder was called Seduced by Madness, the Diane Borschach story.
00:13:49
Definitely remember that. Right. And they wanted to film at the funeral home, but my parents wouldn't go for it.
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They did sign something to allow them to use the red brick building exterior in the movie, though.
00:14:00
There's also a snapped episode detailing this murder, season 18, episode 11. One of the boys had actually been our paper boy at the funeral home,
00:14:09
and he would come in to steal candy from the dish on the banister. Having had enough, my dad waited around the stairs to catch him.
00:14:16
I'm pretty sure he scared the absolute shit out of the kid because he never came back.
00:14:20
Jumping out and grabbing someone in a funeral home is a great way to end some dickery.
00:14:25
My siblings and I went through a lot of babysitters that way. actually oops shrug i love the quote quote they say you die twice one time when you stop breathing
00:14:37
and a second time a bit later on when somebody says your name for the last time you ladies are
00:14:43
giving victims life beyond their tragedy and that's pretty cool ssdgm elise jacobs wow jacobs
00:14:52
that was twists and turns and that was crazy yeah i know right um and and what a for a second
00:15:01
when um elise first started describing that murder i was thinking of that nicole kidman movie yes
00:15:07
because it's very similar that idea of like hiring teen that um of like black widow murderer women
00:15:15
who hire teen boys to do the dirty work for them is a special place in hell it is really
00:15:21
the rest of even if they don't get caught like you're ruining their lives and everyone
00:15:28
knows fucking teenage boys can't keep secrets also they just it's they're susceptible
00:15:33
it's like that idea it's why all of that is like fucking leave children and teens
00:15:39
alone they don't know what the hell they're doing and they want to be like macho
00:15:44
and they think that they're tough and they watch the Sopranos or whatever the fuck
00:15:48
yes yes exactly that is egregious. So Georgia, please leave teenagers alone. I can't tell you again.
00:15:57
You're so judgmental, Karen. Sorry, sorry. I just am sick of it. Okay. Okay. Hi, people and pets. You're great. I'm obsessed. Blah, blah, blah. Let's get into it.
00:16:11
Another solid. I moved to Manchester just over five years ago for university. And when I heard
00:16:17
that you love the city as much as I do, I decided that I needed to tell you my favorite, with a U,
00:16:22
story from the city. It has everything. Yes. Hannah Beswick was born in 1688 to rich parents,
00:16:30
so her life was pretty good for a woman at that time. That was until the day of her brother's
00:16:35
funeral. As they were pulling down the lid of the coffin, all caps, one of his eyes opened.
00:16:42
what yes he was almost buried alive everything that i have read says that this quote broke hannah
00:16:49
and gave her a pathological fear of being buried alive which is fucking fair in my opinion absolutely
00:16:55
completely not only not insane the sanest reaction you could have absolutely watching it happen to
00:17:04
almost happen to your brother then you're like now i'm afraid this is going to happen to me
00:17:08
Absolutely. Nothing wrong. And then she says, as if that were a weird reaction to her situation.
00:17:13
Exactly. Wouldn't you be just a little shaken by that happening? Also, being buried alive was pretty common back then, as I found out from one of your
00:17:20
episodes. Learning. We're teaching people stuff. That's right. Sometimes it's right.
00:17:26
Sometimes it's not. Don't put out a grease fire with flour. So to keep her from this fate, she added a line into her will that said she wished to
00:17:35
remain above ground until a doctor was absolutely sure she was dead. Now, I read that as
00:17:40
keep her above ground for a few days and keep an eye out on her. Her family doctor, Dr. Charles White,
00:17:47
interpreted it as embalm her and display her mummified corpse. Oh. Which is what he did when she passed
00:17:52
in 1758. Oh. After a short stint at her family home her embalmed body was given back to Dr White who put it on display in a grandfather clock Reuse recycle reuse repeat
00:18:09
Repulsive. I'm confused. Like she like there's a clock up here and then down here, the embalmed woman, body of a dead woman.
00:18:18
No, I think he turned a grandfather clock like horizontal. and you know how they have the little doors and they have a see-through glass.
00:18:26
I'm just saying, is the clock part still active? Oh, I have no idea. Probably not.
00:18:32
You're standing there staring at a really creepy thing and then there's just the tick.
00:18:36
And then you're like, oh shit, I'm late for my appointment. And then gong, gong.
00:18:41
I really hope not. Okay. Later, she was given to the Museum of Manchester Natural History Society,
00:18:49
where she was named, quote, the Manchester Mummy. And she became one of their most popular attractions.
00:18:55
In 1867, the museum decided that she was irrevocably and unmistakably dead. She was finally laid to rest in 1868, 110 years after her death.
00:19:07
But the story isn't over. It's said that before she died, Hannah buried some treasure to keep it safe from Scottish rebels in 1745.
00:19:15
But she never told anyone where it was and it was lost. lost. The story goes that long after she died, her ghost was seen multiple times. Jeez, we have
00:19:24
similar stories for each of these. I know. Her ghost was seen multiple times walking over to the
00:19:29
same flagstone and disappearing. Someone who lived there pulled up that flagstone and found a massive
00:19:35
stash of gold. Yes. He's smart. He sold it and was given three pound tens, the now 450 pounds
00:19:47
for each piece. Oh, I was so disappointed at that. Oh, that's amazing. No, it's good. So there you go.
00:19:55
The story of the Manchester mummy. Sorry it was so long. And thank you for getting me through my
00:19:59
long shifts at work. I hope you come back to the UK as soon as this whole pandemic malarkey is done.
00:20:05
We'd love to have you stay sexy and don't wait 110 years to pronounce someone dead. Jenny.
00:20:11
God, that's a good one. It's almost like they were being sarcastic, like, oh, OK, you want us to make sure?
00:20:16
Okay, young lady. Fine. Or maybe it was the coroner that accidentally almost buried the kid, her brother alive.
00:20:25
And he was like, well, fuck, I'm not at fault. You're at fault. Or he was like, you think you're stressed out about this?
00:20:31
Now this is my number one fear. This is my reputation. He's like, one more and I'm fired.
00:20:37
That's what they said. Especially from the same family. Oh, God. Just picture it.
00:20:45
you're at a funeral no a family member funeral crying it's your brother i was picturing him being
00:20:52
young yeah yes and then one eye flies open can i tell you something this happened to you no
00:21:00
something similar but i know okay i was at my ex's my ex's grandma died natural causes we went to her
00:21:09
funeral course and they were whatever religion it is that you kneel in front of the casket
00:21:14
I think it was light, light Christian. It's some light Christian thing. And I don't know.
00:21:23
Light, you know, like, like fat free. No, like not super hardcore. Like whatever Vince is.
00:21:33
Episcopalians are the lightest. That's right. Which is not to say they don't do great work and totally love the Lord.
00:21:39
No, I'm all about the like. They're not like, oh, here's a bunch of. horrible incense and we're going to shake
00:21:46
a thing at you, body of Christ. No, no, no. That's what I'm saying. It was totally as Jew. I was like,
00:21:52
all right, all right. Yeah. So I go with him, of course, as support to kneel at her casket,
00:21:58
open casket, and we're leaning over her and she looks so serene. And there must I know there's like gases and stuff
00:22:06
in the body as they, and I swear to God, we both froze because she went, Oh God, Georgia.
00:22:14
that's so scary we both sat there like wondering if the other one had heard it full body chills
00:22:23
I was like he's not going to forget this about his poor grandma for the rest of his life
00:22:27
did you have somebody check to make sure she wasn't so frustrated for being assumed dead
00:22:33
if she wasn't dead she was when they fucking embalmed her or whatever bless her soul
00:22:39
I've been embalmed the frustration of being embalmed the hassle this again those stories man when they sit up
00:22:49
in the morgue and then the poor fucking coroner's like you know yes oh god well I have a
00:22:56
ancillary story not similar but that's what this podcast is for right one of my favorite family stories
00:23:04
is when my grandma Anne died the matriarch of my dad's side of the family and just a legendary
00:23:11
hilarious badass wonderful woman. It was so sad. And it was my grandpa died first. And so when she died,
00:23:19
it was like, oh, they're both gone. It was really hard and sad for everybody. And of course,
00:23:24
my dad has eight brothers and sisters, gigantic family. And so my cousins, Danny and Chris,
00:23:31
are the two youngest, were at the time, the two youngest cousins. They were like the baby of the
00:23:36
family's babies. And so I think, um, I think it was Danny and I think he was about seven.
00:23:44
And when he went up to, um, look at the body, he, you know, he did that by himself. His mom
00:23:52
let him do it by himself. So later on, my aunt Joe, um, said, how, how did you feel
00:23:57
about seeing grandma like that? And he goes, It was okay, but her hands were really hard to pull apart.
00:24:06
How old was he, seven? He was really little, like seven. And my aunt told us that story and she was like laughing and crying at the same time.
00:24:18
She was like, I tried not to react to his face. Oh my God, what was he doing? I'm just picturing you walking in on a seven-year-old
00:24:27
gripping her hands apart. Obviously, you want to hold one last. Oh, does he get shit for that story every Christmas?
00:24:39
I don't think so. I think it was that kind of thing where we're all like, oh my God.
00:24:45
Your husband is not who you think he is. Your body is not what you thought it was.
00:24:50
Your identity is formed by a secret history. I'm Dani Shapiro, and these are just a few of the stunning stories I'll be exploring on the 14th season of Family Secrets.
00:25:01
Just then, we felt the plane turn in the air, so much so that the bags that were under people's seats just kind of flew into the aisle.
00:25:10
Each week, we dive headfirst into the complex power of secrecy, how it shapes our identities and relationships, and how it ultimately can reveal to us our truest selves.
00:25:21
my daughter, she's pretending she doesn't know, but is trying to cook and feed me and keep me
00:25:25
alive because I wasn't eating anything. And me pretending like everything was fine.
00:25:31
He kind of shoved me out of the way and said, move. And he went out the front door and he jumped
00:25:35
in a car and drove off. And that was the last time I saw him. Listen to season 14 of Family
00:25:39
Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:25:44
Every story has a point where it's balanced on a knife's edge. That's where we begin.
00:25:51
For some, it's a confrontation no parent ever expects. They finally admit, we're here to take your children.
00:25:58
The department has taken custody and we're here to take your kids. It was just shock and horror and desperation.
00:26:05
For others, it's surviving the unthinkable. As they're having this gun battle, thousands of feet up in the air,
00:26:12
many of the bullets start to puncture the aircraft. I thought we were going to die then.
00:26:17
The Knife is a podcast about real people whose lives were upended in an instant.
00:26:23
We talk to the people who lived it, unpacking what happened, how they got through it,
00:26:28
and what came next. And on our off-record episodes, we go even deeper into the reporting
00:26:32
and answer the questions you can't stop thinking about. New episodes drop every Thursday
00:26:37
on the Exactly Right Network and the iHeart Podcast Network. Listen to The Knife on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:26:46
When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands.
00:26:54
I vowed I will be his last target. He is not going to get away with this. He's going to get what he deserves.
00:27:01
We always say that, trust your girlfriends. Listen to the girlfriends. Trust me, babe.
00:27:08
On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I mean, can we end the episode now?
00:27:20
Because that was epic. Well, you might want to, except for it's my turn, isn't it?
00:27:26
Yes. Because it's time for Ball Pit, Stranger Danger and my mom. Yes. Don't let's not walk away from an opportunity to go into the ball pit.
00:27:40
Right. Never, ever. Speaking of, have you used the ball pit that I surprise sent you?
00:27:46
I haven't used it yet. You got it. I have it. No, that's got to be a video is you diving in.
00:27:51
Well, that's exactly why I haven't set it up, because Georgia sent it to me and then immediately
00:27:55
went, set it up and take a picture and post it and do this, do that. And then I was just like,
00:27:59
this goes right into the closet. I'll do none of those things. All right. So this starts. Hey,
00:28:04
team, are we still doing ball pit stories? Yeah. What about pretending to be kidnapped?
00:28:09
Cool mom stories? Just whatever occurs to us. Great. This email is for you. When I was a little over two years old, 27 months if you're a weirdo, my mom was maybe six months pregnant with my little sister.
00:28:23
One day we were at Chuck E. Cheese for a birthday party. She was hanging out with the other parents while I was off enjoying life.
00:28:29
1989, am I right? Suddenly, my mom hears my little voice calling for help. She jumps into action and follows the sound to the ball pit.
00:28:38
She looks in just in time to see my little face sinking down beneath the plastic balls.
00:28:42
or she likes to tell it, quote, all I could see was your face being obscured by balls,
00:28:49
unquote. My mother and all of her pregnant glory had to jump into the ball pit to save my ass from
00:28:54
drowning. Oh, my God. Bless her. Cut to two months later. My mom is massively pregnant with my sister
00:29:00
and on our way to my grandma's. My mom decides to stop at the mall for one quick thing because I was
00:29:06
generally a well-behaved child and because we only needed to go to one store. My mom thought it
00:29:12
would be okay not to use the stroller and to let me walk. Dear reader, it was not okay.
00:29:18
The moment we crossed the threshold, I took off. Running as fast as my little legs could carry me,
00:29:23
I darted in and out of stores while my very pregnant mother chased after me. When she finally
00:29:28
caught up with me, out of breath and nauseous, she scooped me back up to carry me back out to the car.
00:29:35
I must have known I was in trouble because I just went limp in her arms and started to shout,
00:29:39
Help, help me, help. I don't know her. How do kids know to do? I've heard people say this before.
00:29:48
Kids are such dicks. They're such dicks. I don't know her. This was not my mommy.
00:29:56
This was like peak stranger danger time. And my mom says that she could feel everyone staring at her.
00:30:03
Hopefully she did her best not to lose her cool or to vomit. And she calmly carried me out of the mall.
00:30:09
Thankfully, no one stopped her. Thankfully or unfortunately. You could argue both sides.
00:30:17
And we safely made it to my grandma's house. She's pretty sure that being so visibly pregnant stopped her from being accused of kidnapping.
00:30:25
Needless to say, my perfect child reputation suffered for a while until my holy terror of a sister.
00:30:31
Oh, yeah. Anyway, my mom and I don't agree on much these days. Cough, Trump, cough.
00:30:38
But I never doubt her love for me And I know that she still jump into a pit to save me from groaning in plastic balls Peace Emma Aw these are some fucking solid stories this week
00:30:52
Beautifully written, Emma. Yeah, that was really, that was a wonderful blend of all the things we love.
00:31:01
Great job. That was excellent. Well, here I've got one more great story. I'm not going to read you the title.
00:31:07
Hey, darling dearest. I go by Molly and I'm from Boston. I've decided to share my most embarrassing memory with fellow
00:31:14
murderinos as an offering of levity between all the, you know, murders. One day at my college
00:31:20
work-study job in the library, my daydreaming is interrupted when a co-worker anxiously asks,
00:31:25
do you hear that? He points at the wall and I noticed it is buzzing. We figure it might have
00:31:31
something to do with the construction upstairs, so we call down a worker to come investigate.
00:31:36
Sooner or later, though, pretty much every class that shares a wall with us is now in the library trying to figure out what the noise is.
00:31:42
Pretty soon I hear my boss say, whose backpack is this? He's pointing at my backpack, which is slumped against the wall, the noisy wall.
00:31:49
When he picks it up by the grab handle, the wall stops buzzing. Then it all clicks in my head.
00:31:55
And I remember there's a vibrator in my backpack. Oh, honey. Which must have been turned on when I tossed my backpack against the wall.
00:32:03
As my boss begins to unzip the bag, I make a pathetic sound, dash over, snatch the bag and scurry into the women's room to turn off the vibrator.
00:32:16
When I come back for the rest of my shift, my middle aged boss, undergrad co-workers, the library staff, construction workers, professors, students, etc.
00:32:26
are all giggling hopelessly. Everyone in the library that Monday morning knew that I had a vibrator in my backpack, evidently so powerful, it caused a public safety disturbance in the library.
00:32:39
Oh, my God. To this day, I have unsuccessfully maintained that it was an electric toothbrush.
00:32:45
So thank you for finally giving me an opportunity to come clean about the vibrator in my backpack at the library.
00:32:52
stay sexy but not so sexy that your vibrator goes off in the school library and don't get
00:32:57
murdered and then not surprising there's no name thank you no name that is cathartic and we've all
00:33:05
been there mine was an enema at the airport being held aloft by the tsa because i forgot and it's
00:33:14
over eight you know eight ounces and i forgot to take it out of my fucking travel case and she was
00:33:19
cracking up as she held it aloft. No, that's mean. Please don't do that. We were both laughing and I don't care. Obviously, I'm seeing it on the podcast.
00:33:27
So what do I do? Listen, people have needs. People find libraries incredibly sexy.
00:33:33
Traveling is dehydrating. Traveling is hell on the body, as we have learned. No shame.
00:33:41
A lot of shame, but no shame. So much shame, but I... Yeah, what would you do. I just
00:33:49
it's such a human story like to hear that and just be like what the hell is that noise and you're
00:33:55
joining in on that like yeah what is that noise because you can't thank God she had the
00:34:00
like you know she wasn't frozen and grabbed the backpack before he because the holding a loft part is the part that well that cruelty I think I feel like hopefully I mean we never know but in my idea the middle man that picked up the
00:34:19
backpack would not have held it aloft oh no oh no no he would have been more embarrassed than she
00:34:24
was probably yes that I would have bet on that I think although I don't I think I would have froze
00:34:30
because it would just been like, oh, no, it's over. Then you would have forfeited the backpack.
00:34:34
I'm like, I don't know his backpack. That is. I don't know why papers with my name on the top is in there.
00:34:37
That's not mine. I don't know why my initials on the outside. Send us your I mean, we've opened the floodgates.
00:34:44
Feel free to be anonymous. But you need to share these with everyone else because we've all been through them.
00:34:48
Probably not as bad as mine and hers. But maybe maybe worse. Do you have a worse embarrassment story?
00:34:57
Yeah. You don't have to put your name on it. We'd love to hear it. we would love to hear it. Everyone else would love to hear it. We're going to show it to the light.
00:35:03
So maybe you can take some of that off. I feel like once once you see here how funny it is,
00:35:08
you're going to be like, that's that was worth it. It's also it'll it is, I think, cathartic,
00:35:15
like you said, I think it is that thing of like, we've all been I've I've felt like I spent most
00:35:21
of my life having that embarrassment feeling. So anytime I hear a story that's like that,
00:35:25
I love it because it makes me feel better. Totally. Makes me feel less alone. And it's that thing of like laugh at yourself
00:35:31
and it's who cares. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at vibrators. Laugh at laxatives. Whatever it takes. Whatever your system
00:35:39
requires. We're all the same. Please send it to my favorite murderer at Gmail. Tell Lily we say hi.
00:35:48
And also please stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie?
00:35:57
This episode is brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Have you noticed that the egg section at the grocery store has gotten very complicated lately?
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00:36:26
Vitalfarms, good eggs, no shortcuts. Goodbye. I'm Nancy Glass, host of the Burden of Guilt Season 2 podcast.
00:36:34
This is a story about a horrendous lie that destroyed two families. Late one night, Bobby Gumpright became the victim of a random crime.
00:36:43
The perpetrator was sentenced to 99 years until a confession changed everything.
00:36:50
I was a monster. Listen to Burden of Guilt Season 2 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:37:01
Joy is essential, and it's also elusive. But now, there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence.
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joy 101 it's a new podcast hosted by me hoda kotby if you're craving inspiration to maximize
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app search joy 101 and listen now joy 101 with hoda kotby is presented by cbs