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rate first three months only then full price plan options available taxes and fees extra
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see full terms at mintmobile.com this is matt rogers from las culturistas with matt rogers and
00:01:39
bowen yang this is bowen yang from las culturistas with matt rogers and bowen yang you know when
00:01:43
people try a new food and suddenly it's like okay hold on i got a new favorite food that's the
00:01:50
reaction a lot of people are having when they first try kewpie mayo yeah it's the one with the
00:01:54
red cap and the little baby on the bottle. You've probably seen it at the grocery store. And this
00:01:58
mayo is different. Most mayonnaise uses whole eggs. Kewpie only uses egg yolks, which gives it this
00:02:04
rich umami flavor. It's smoother, deeper, almost buttery. Once people try it, they start putting
00:02:09
it on everything. Egg sandwiches, fries, burgers. Chefs use it. Restaurants use it. People who really
00:02:14
care about flavor use it. Put it on just about anything. Then you'll understand. Kewpie, the
00:02:19
original Japanese mayonnaise. My favorite murder epiphanies, some TV viewing, some observations
00:02:58
out our front windows. Do you know what I was just doing? Speaking of front windows, I just did something
00:03:04
I've done maybe a handful of times during quarantine. Can I guess? Okay. Did you do like a leg
00:03:10
show in the window for your neighbors? Kind of. I danced. I danced. Really? Tell us
00:03:19
why. Tell us how. I don't know. I was hoping you'd dance. Thank you. I don't know. I put on I never put on music. It's always a book or a podcast. I put on I had
00:03:31
just had therapy and it felt freeing. And I put on Bell and Sebastian. Just listen to a little
00:03:37
which I never do. And it's so poppy and fun. And I love it so much that I just started.
00:03:43
Yeah. Can I guess the song? Yeah. Or with the Arab strap? No, but they all sound they all sound
00:03:49
fun like that. So Tiger Milk. Tiger Milk. I just started dancing and Cookie was like,
00:03:56
what are you? Cookie's never seen me dance before. So she was a little confused. But then I went on
00:04:01
my balcony and for the whole world to see, I just started dancing. So yeah, there was a little leg
00:04:07
show. Nice. That's so good. I think everyone should try it in the privacy of your own home,
00:04:13
of your own room alone. And then the public of your own balcony. That's right. Pretend like
00:04:17
dance like no one's watching but then there were helicopter went by of course i was like what's up
00:04:22
the cops the cops man like fun and freeing and felt and was weird and lovely i really like that
00:04:32
idea because i think there are real there's real science behind the idea of when you you process
00:04:39
something and then you move your body yeah and it actually helps you physiologically process
00:04:44
whatever you might have been talking about. It might have been an instinct. Yes.
00:04:49
And my therapist says there's this thing called Pony Sweat that's like a lead, but casual,
00:04:54
fun, great music, be yourself, dance, like Zoom. And it's just like really open to all kinds of people.
00:05:04
And she's always telling me to do it. And I need to. But, you know, I feel weird and I'm the weird one.
00:05:10
So I never do it. But it definitely like boosts your mood. It's a serotonin fucking boost.
00:05:16
I wonder if that's the kind of thing I find that with streaming things, you can go on there with your camera off and do whatever you want.
00:05:23
You can truly sit and judge all of Pony Sweat as they do it. And then you're like, I'll decide.
00:05:28
Yeah. And then you see everyone having fun and you're like, I want them. I want to convey fun, too, with them because there's no judgment, you know.
00:05:36
And also the idea of I'm the one that's weird is just is the idea every person has.
00:05:43
That's what every single person thinks. Right. I love that idea. I've actually heard.
00:05:48
I know a lot of the people that do pony sweat and have been like pony sweat the OG pony sweaters And it all the people that you know and love that are like who gives a shit yeah they wear cool clothes but they not trying to be cool they just like effortlessly cool
00:06:05
they're trying to kind of dance away the onus of having to be cool yeah and that like body i think
00:06:13
there's a lot of like body dysmorphia like breaking those walls down and come as you are and you know
00:06:19
it's kind of lovely and I want to be part of it. You don't have to tape your breasts down if you go to Pony Sweat.
00:06:25
You don't have to for the first time ever. Dress silly and fun and I know people wear like wigs and...
00:06:32
That's the hottest thing you could do. It is the sweatiest pony that you could possibly pony.
00:06:39
But maybe that's the point. Maybe that's the point. It's wig hot yoga but with kooky music.
00:06:46
Yeah. Come on. Yeah. It reminds me of it's like the kind of thing that for me as a highly damaged Gen Xer from the evil 90s, I watch the children do things like Pony Sweat and I say, thank God and good for you.
00:07:01
And I am not allowed to do that. No, you are. I am not. You didn't hear. I was called by the band.
00:07:11
There's a stamp. The band Pavement called me and said, you're not allowed to ever enjoy yourself.
00:07:16
higher generation if you do that. But maybe if your generation had had the had been allowed to
00:07:23
do it, you know, it would have been, you know, you guys would need less therapy entirely. Well,
00:07:29
it's in our generation, the option was do what everyone else is doing or be on heroin. And it
00:07:36
was hard to choose. Sure. Those are great choices. Both of them. The I mean, they're very specific
00:07:43
choices and they definitely guide you down a certain path. I feel like the freedom of pony
00:07:48
sweat and the, those kind of high concept, like gals and guys, we're going to exercise,
00:07:53
but not exercise. Guys, gals and wear your purple sweats, be yourself, be your true self. Or it's
00:07:59
like my whole life, everyone was saying, could you please stop being yourself for four minutes?
00:08:04
Yourself is embarrassing. The ideas are too out there. Shut up. Yeah. I'm so are you going
00:08:13
to do it or did you already do it or you had your own personal pony i have my own personal and it
00:08:17
almost felt like a like a way to like introduce myself to group dance solo to group and then who
00:08:26
knows from there could go anywhere then you sign up for pony sweat but right as it starts you go
00:08:32
excuse me everyone could you all mute your microphones i'm gonna well then i'd like to
00:08:37
introduce myself. That's a Janet move. Is that what Janet would do? Everyone. No, she
00:08:43
just like always wants to make a speech. You know? Hello? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Like she's
00:08:49
dinging on the side of the... On the side of her like water plastic water bottle at Pony Sweat. Yeah.
00:08:55
Ding, ding, ding, everybody. Hello, everyone. Oh, I'm being mean, but that's just her personality and that's why I don't
00:09:01
have that personality. It's the whole like, it's the mindset that I have that I can't do when she'd pull up to pick us up from somewhere, have complete eye contact with us.
00:09:13
And still, this is her thing. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. No, what was it? Shave and
00:09:18
a haircut. Every time she'd pick us up from somewhere. And now as an adult, I know she was
00:09:23
embarrassing us on purpose because we deserved it. And I know parents are so sick of their kids that
00:09:28
anytime they can get a little win in, they'll take it. But at the time, I was like, why are you
00:09:35
ruining my life. I'm dying over here. Why don't you care? Why is it so funny to you
00:09:41
that I'm in such intense, constant pain? I already am a fucking nerd and I'm not one of
00:09:47
the popular girls. So if you couldn't make it not double time, guess what you're not helping me with?
00:09:53
Popularity. The two Elizabeths and the Jennifers and the Megans who have normal names and don't get made fun of because
00:09:59
their names are who are popular. Their moms are beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, be at them?
00:10:05
Their moms send a hired car. That's right. Why can't you love me the way Jennifer and Jennifer's
00:10:11
mother loves them? Elizabeth with an S and Elizabeth with a Z. Never have to deal with this bullshit.
00:10:17
Okay, Elizabeth with an S seems like the highest of maintenance. I don't... Did she make people
00:10:25
call her Elspeth? Why did it have to be like that? Elspeth? That's what I would have called her. Elspeth.
00:10:33
Speaking of Dutch, my dad did ever tell you about the time he had a white, a 1970 white Ford truck that he bought.
00:10:47
Cool. Not, I was going to say bucket bench front seat. Yeah. Literally would fit like six kids in the front seat.
00:10:54
No seatbelts. No, I don't think they were in there at all. No. And he on the way to school one day, the horn started honking by itself.
00:11:02
And we were like, Dad, no, no, no, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad. He's like, well, there's nothing I can do.
00:11:08
And he was elated. He was overjoyed. We were like, do not pull in, Dad, don't pull in.
00:11:13
And he's like, girls, I got to make sure you get into the building. And we were like crying and begging him not to do it.
00:11:20
And he pulled right up to the front and stayed there as if he was laying on the horn.
00:11:26
So every person standing outside of school. I might need to get off of this podcast for a little while.
00:11:35
Oh, is that too much for you? This is triggering me hard. Yeah, there's so much shame.
00:11:42
There's like a like a fountain of shame at the front of every school when you're you're just trying to walk into school.
00:11:48
Totally. And there's so many ways to get just entirely obliterated, Obliterated.
00:11:54
Which is almost like made being a latchkey kid even better because then you just had no parents anymore to do You could like fucking Irish goodbye school You could you could dip in see see what you like
00:12:06
Then you're just like, maybe I won't go to sixth period. Bye. Yeah, I'm one of the only kids that had keys to their house. So goodbye.
00:12:14
Like bye. I'm going I'm going to my apartment now that I live in alone. Essentially,
00:12:20
I understand some people think this place is a priority, but I think Scooby Doo is a priority.
00:12:24
Let's get these mysteries solved. Listen, Maury Povich is not going to watch itself.
00:12:31
Jenny Jones and Maury Povich and Rikki Lake. By the way, guys, those are all after school TV shows that we watched obsessively.
00:12:40
I think Rikki Lake did not get enough credit. Absolutely not. At the time for the kind of shit she was putting on.
00:12:48
Hers was a twist on. Yeah. And most of her show titles rhymed in some way. And she put on a happy face to the whole thing.
00:12:56
Like she was a positive influence in my life. She was everyone's friend. She was like, now, hold on, because you've already been arrested for punching her in the face.
00:13:06
But you're going to try to punch her in the face again. Yeah, that's not OK. Audience, what do you think?
00:13:13
Audience, do you want to see some makeovers? And then for no reason, everyone gets a makeover.
00:13:17
You know, essentially, our podcast is a carry on of those shows from back then. You know, except our audience is just listening to we can't communicate with them.
00:13:29
Unfortunately, we can't run up Phil Donahue style run up into the audience with the mic and be like, Alice from Georgia.
00:13:37
Yeah. What do you think about all this? What do you think? It's not very creative when I use your name as this as the state.
00:13:43
It's right there. It's right there. it's right in front of you what were you going to say about belgium oh i was just going to tell
00:13:49
you it's i think it's the netherlands somewhere i'm reading a book that's got really cool weird
00:13:54
names that's from there and actually if you want to want to hear me try to pronounce the name of
00:14:01
the author please do fun well it's like it's a ghost story slash true crimey whodunit but
00:14:09
fucking ghosty ghost times for sure yes like paranormal but it's like really beautifully
00:14:15
written. It's called I Remember You. Yeah, it's like, it's good. It's but the author's name is
00:14:21
Yersa Sigurdarditotter. I think I got that right, to be honest with you. I think you I think that's Bjork's sister, first of all, and you're dead on right.
00:14:36
Yeah. So just look up I Remember You. I'm listening to it. It's beautifully read and
00:14:39
beautifully written and so spooky. And like, what did you say the first name's Ilsa?
00:14:44
Yursa. So Y-R-S-A. Y-R-S-A. Yeah. And it's really it's like a cool distraction. This couple buys this decrepit old house on a Netherlands island and has to redo it.
00:14:58
But it's fucking haunted as shit. And then like something's going on in the village that this like detective has to figure out and his son passed away.
00:15:07
And like it's in the, you know, ghosty ghost stuff. okay do you want to hear something lightly mind-blowing yeah my recommendation for a tv
00:15:18
series this week is also belgian whoa wait you said netherlands but i don't know those are not
00:15:26
the same but i don't know where the fuck it is i just know i can't pronounce the name so i'm just
00:15:31
gonna go straight to the netherlands oh got it okay yeah sorry for for some reason i thought when
00:15:36
you very first mentioned it and then I interrupted you back to to do a the horn story I thought you
00:15:43
said something about Belgium I bet I did and that could be right too that could be wrong or right too
00:15:48
it can all be right and wrong okay my it's just we rarely talk about Belgium so it's exciting
00:15:55
that we would both be mentioning yeah I found okay on my streaming services now this is how
00:16:03
we know where I'm digging down to the bottom of everything is because I discovered Sundance TV,
00:16:10
which is one of the streaming choices on my TV and began to scroll through it and was like,
00:16:17
this is the streaming service for me. This has all like foreign procedurals, ghosty ghost Scandinavian procedural. Scandinavian. That's the word.
00:16:27
Is that what you were looking for? Probably. um so there's a tv series on there called public enemy okay there's already been two seasons all
00:16:38
right and i believe i think i read somewhere that they're working on a third i thought it was french
00:16:43
but they i believe they're all speaking french but it's about it takes place in belgium got it
00:16:50
but if you live in either country and would like to correct me thoroughly and in your mother tongue about it. I'm open, obviously, but it's just a really creepy,
00:17:01
good story that then has these. I just think I know what I prefer in my foreign procedurals.
00:17:07
Yeah. Because, you know, the Scandinavians really have honed and refined it. Yeah. And there's a spookiness to it, too, because it's also like Wiccan, old timey and like nice.
00:17:19
everyone's nice so but then there's always something happening in the forest the forest
00:17:24
is the key yes to most of those this has a major forest element dude i'm there once sopranos is
00:17:32
done i'm there public enemy or sopranos it just depends on what part of france you're from
00:17:39
italy uh you know what i'm speaking can i talk about sopranos real quick or Sopranos.
00:17:48
I talked to my therapist about this. I feel like from his therapy, I'm learning.
00:17:53
It's extreme, but I feel like I learning a lot about therapy because he the extreme version of avoiding his true feelings and the way he does it through violence and even humor a lot and anger But I getting it in that
00:18:08
his roadblocks are the extreme version of mine. Sure. And I think for people who are weary of
00:18:15
therapy, it might be a good way to get it a little. And same with shows like Couples Therapy,
00:18:21
it might be a good way to like ease your anxiety about it is to watch these extreme examples.
00:18:28
Because then it feels like you have a bird, the bird's eye view, it's always way easier to see
00:18:32
somebody else's stuff and be like, it's so obvious what they should be having a realization about.
00:18:37
But like, it never is obvious to yourself, because we all have our own blind spots. I mean,
00:18:42
everyone does. And every single person goes through that, like a very standard cycle of denial,
00:18:49
when they're getting to the good stuff. Yeah. Because that's the hard stuff. So it's like, yeah, you watch Tony Soprano threaten his therapist
00:18:59
because she would not ever break that. Just and how does that make you feel? Yeah, which I think she's she's an extreme example.
00:19:07
I think that it's a lot softer and a lot more questions and a lot more leading and kinder than she is.
00:19:13
But not in New Jersey. Sorry, you better wake up. When you have an Italian therapist, it's in New Jersey.
00:19:19
and it's on a TV show and it's fictional. I love Lorraine. Lorraine Brocko's accent.
00:19:25
It's like that exact way she talks. She's so good. It's so good. She's so good. What else?
00:19:33
Are you in the middle? Are you near the end? It feels like you've been watching The Sopranos for a while.
00:19:38
The Sopranos. We're in the middle. We're in season three of The Sopranos, but we're in season six of The Sopranos.
00:19:45
You know what I mean? You know what that's like? You know what I mean? Like technically.
00:19:52
No, but I do want to mention a podcast because last week I mentioned the Kristen Smart case in San Luis Obispo and it's cold.
00:20:00
And I mentioned the podcast, Your Own Backyard, and that I hadn't listened to it, but it's a deep dive.
00:20:07
It's hosted by Chris Lambert. And I can vouch for how fucking good it is. It's got the vibes of the CDC's Someone Knows Something.
00:20:17
and a lot of those like deep dives. But he's not a journalist. He's not a detective in any way.
00:20:25
He's just this is his hometown. And he puts it all together and interviews the journalists and interviews the people obsessed with it,
00:20:32
who have who have deep, deep dive into it. And it's it's it's one of those infuriating ones, though,
00:20:39
because remember I said something about the investigators working their hardest?
00:20:43
Yeah, they're they did it. And there's so many missed opportunities and it's infuriating.
00:20:49
And I really do hope something comes of it. And I think it will based on this podcast.
00:20:54
I had to I listened to it in a weekend and I just was like angry. But it's so good.
00:20:59
And it's like it's such a it's such a crazy case. It's the fact that it hasn't been solved is absurd.
00:21:06
Yeah. Well, it's a that's a small town area. Definitely. I mean, you know, that usually is the story.
00:21:14
where it's like people kind of out of their depth having to investigate the type of crime that they have absolutely no experience.
00:21:20
Right. And then they won't cop to it. Or they're hiding something. They're protecting.
00:21:26
Or there's a reason. They're protecting something. The super sinister version. Yeah.
00:21:31
Which, by the way, speaking of which, there's a website called The Knock LA. And they do.
00:21:38
It's basically kind of like local journalists and independent journalism. And there is an unbelievable article, like a series of articles about the the shares, the L.A. County Sheriff's Department and the gang that exists inside it.
00:21:56
Legit gang. So I believe her name is Sharice Castle. It's spelled C-E-R-I-S-E. So it's either Sharice or Cerise.
00:22:05
This is a story she's been chasing basically since last summer, since the protests started.
00:22:11
And these stories kind of started cropping up around the protests and around the action taken.
00:22:17
And it's it's like a multi part series. It's called A Tradition of Violence, the History of Deputy Gangs in the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department.
00:22:26
And it's really groundbreaking journalism and really important. So, yeah, it's pervasive.
00:22:32
Well, it's a kind of thing if the budget is gigantic and there's no oversight or the oversight.
00:22:38
We know what problems are. It's the kind of thing. Yeah. And what's the website called again?
00:22:43
It's the it's knock LA. OK, so it's knock dash la dot com. OK. And that's it's kind of a good thing where like when stuff was going on in the summertime, it was just a great thing to follow that was kind of keeping you up to date.
00:22:56
And they were I believe they were the ones I found out about that Zoom city council meeting where I Seed My Time Fuck You became an international comedian.
00:23:09
Will Weldon got on and held forth in a brilliant way and then said, I seed my time.
00:23:14
It was epic. Yeah. OK, so this is the young comedians of Los Angeles just continue to impress with their involvement and their activism.
00:23:25
and actually getting into shit. So it's a little more of that. I have a corrections corner or like a
00:23:31
clarifications corner that I thought was really cool. This is from Instagram from Belize like the
00:23:37
country. Yeah, I get it. Georgia like the state. Always saying it says your reference to the possible Tyler Perry
00:23:45
Medea connection. Medea is an honorific title in the black community given to the matriarch
00:23:51
of a family. Oh, this is notably explained in Maya Angelou's I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.
00:23:58
The name comes from the of Mother Dear. Medea, are you serious? Isn't that beautiful?
00:24:06
Oh, my God. I'm going to cry. So thank you, Belize, just like the country. What a cool fact.
00:24:15
I love learning that, and I'm embarrassed to have automatically assumed that Tyler Perry's grandmother lived across the street.
00:24:23
Hey, girl, I was right there with you. We were in that. We were so excited. It was like when you learn that people are friends growing up and you're just like our ignorance was just right there in the forefront.
00:24:38
And that's why we have listeners is to set us straight. Belize. Good of you. Good on you.
00:24:45
Good of you. Thank you. Kindly. Thank you. It's so good. Can we go back and cut that out completely?
00:24:55
Too late, right? It's always too late. It's always too late. I mean, hey, look. We're also big fans of Tyler Perry's.
00:25:03
Wow. Good to know. Yeah. I also have a light correction. And this was done with such a gentle hand by a listener, Samuel Montez, who's at Zippo Cooper on Twitter.
00:25:17
And he just let me know the host of the podcast, The Opportunist, which I recommended last time.
00:25:23
Her name is Hannah Smith. And he wrote and said, the name of the host of The Opportunist is Hannah Smith.
00:25:30
It says it in the show description. And then like a laughing emoji. But I swear to God.
00:25:37
I remember you looking for it. Hard. I swear I opened on the, at least on the iTunes app.
00:25:44
I opened that show description and read that paragraph several times. Oh, okay. And didn't see her name in that.
00:25:51
Well, you know what? Then that's iTunes fault. it's yeah i wouldn't blame everybody else but also this last time when i after he sent that
00:25:59
and i laughed and was like oh my god i went to look and one of the first reviews for it
00:26:03
was a five-star review that said hannah smith is a great okay so if hopefully the fans and the
00:26:11
people who listen and care are like fine we'll do it we'll do it then karen if if this is what
00:26:17
easier for karen uh but anyway okay i can't i can't wait for this podcast like the the
00:26:23
current season is like mind-blowing and everyone should listen to it but I can't wait for the further seasons
00:26:30
which is the description of the show is stories about normal people who turned basically
00:26:38
evil because of an opportunity love it it's such a cool concept I just think of the lottery
00:26:43
and how it ruins everyone's lives yes sets people all off have you ever had an experience like that
00:26:51
oh you mean when I won $400 on the giant slot machine in Las Vegas. Not the lottery.
00:26:56
I just changed my entire personality. I literally, I put in like a silver dollar
00:27:03
and it was one of those big oversized ones. Yeah, yeah. It's like just almost like a demo.
00:27:07
Yeah. And I pulled it and it just started going. And then I like literally turned out to the crowd.
00:27:13
I was like, oh my God. And like nobody gave a shit. It was $400. Like that's, you know, won and lost in three minutes.
00:27:22
Yeah, yeah. But I honestly was like looking for my crown and flowers. Well, thanks, everybody.
00:27:28
Well, because you're going to lose it. But that would be like when I used to go to Vegas when I was young and had no money, like
00:27:32
$400 was my if I I would just blow it. And it was like, well, I'm fucked now because I thought I was going to win.
00:27:40
And yeah, one night and I can't afford White Castle. Same. I every time I've gone, I've never won except for like in an increment like that, where
00:27:51
in my mind, I'm like, I'm set for months. And then it's and then like, two hours later,
00:27:57
it's almost entirely gone. I had a friend get mad at this kind of maybe a similar where I had a
00:28:02
friend get mad at me when I won 350 bucks on like a quarter slot. And she was mad at me for the rest
00:28:09
of the trip. Like it was like, it should have been her. Oh, that's a good friend. Let's walk
00:28:16
through this yeah and i like bought everyone lunch no what there's a hundred dollars gone yeah
00:28:24
get your own fucking lunch exactly uh so it was supposed to be me is the fucking most hilarious
00:28:33
attitude you can have in las vegas i wanted the next time we go to vegas i'm gonna walk through
00:28:38
the casino floor and if i even hear a bell ring i'm gonna turn to go what that was supposed to be
00:28:44
me. It's the thing of when someone says, and I'm really careful with this. If someone says to you,
00:28:50
I'm so jealous of you, rather than I'm so happy for you. It's a really big indicator of their
00:28:56
personality. So and so you and a lot of times people say it themselves not meaning it. So just
00:29:01
be aware, when someone gets something great, and you are jealous, it's fine. It's a normal emotion.
00:29:08
Just say I'm happy. I'm so happy for you. Now I'm so jealous of you, because it just changes
00:29:12
the connotation completely. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's never heard you say it before.
00:29:19
Maybe you're just jealous of me, but I'm not jealous of anyone. I have everything. No,
00:29:26
no, no. It's because I think there's also people that it's totally to the person, right? Because
00:29:33
there's people who could say that to you and you wouldn't take it the wrong way. You'd actually
00:29:36
take it as almost like I'm confiding in you that I'm being evil because that's how good this
00:29:41
accomplishment is. Yeah. As opposed to there's people who could go, I'm so happy for you. And
00:29:46
their words are like knives. We were like, no, you're not. You're not. You're not. My gut says
00:29:53
no to this Your smile is angry Your smile is filled with blades But also I think there a time all of the time in my life where I hated people the most for having things or getting things or winning And
00:30:11
there's been plenty. It's just the reflection of a complete lack in my own life. And so for so long,
00:30:18
I'd just be like, what? I should have that, not them. And then after a while, you get a little
00:30:23
something of your own. Yeah. And then you start to go, Oh, I'm not it. I'm not supposed to have
00:30:29
what the other people had or them having it does not take away my opportunities and abilities.
00:30:37
No, I'm supposed to get mine in my own special way. And that's the only way because if I was
00:30:42
handed what they had, I wouldn't care about it. You have to kind of like put some skin in the game
00:30:47
and earn your own and get it. And then you go like, wow, this is really something. But it also
00:30:53
So, you know, that that also goes hand in hand with being addicted to shit where you're just kind of like, I need a thing and I demand it.
00:31:00
You're just kind of like, all right, well, yeah, it doesn't do. You have another drink.
00:31:05
You're going to. Oh, you're going to be so much happier after this. Oh, I feel that in my bones.
00:31:11
I feel it every day. Wait, did I have one other thing? No, I just have I remember you and then the name Yursa written underneath it.
00:31:22
So that's yours. I think that's it, right? Oh, we have a little bit of business.
00:31:27
Yeah, but it's fun. It's like, I don't think we should call it business. It's more like we have a little bit of party time.
00:31:32
We have a little bit of an exciting announcement. Yeah, we do. Did you guys know that when you put a book out, it's hard, a hard, I mean, like physically hard.
00:31:44
And then eventually it gets soft. That's right. In both experience and material.
00:31:50
Yeah. Yeah. And so our SSDGM, the Say Sexy Don't Get Murdered, the book that came out in hardback is now being released soft bound.
00:32:01
Yeah. On May 11th, which is my birthday this year. Oh, yeah. Do you know that turns out I'm working on a birthday present for you with your sister's help?
00:32:09
I'm really bad at surprises. I'm not telling you what it is. It's a Sephora gift card, but it's really special and it's going to make you cry.
00:32:18
But Laura has to help you pick it up. No, but it's true for your birthday. Amazing.
00:32:24
All right. I feel like it's because your 50th last year had to be in quarantine.
00:32:27
So I'm going to make 51 the double time special. Oh, well, I love that. I guess I should do the same for you.
00:32:34
You had your 40th in quarantine. That would be great. We'll blow it out. We'll blow it out.
00:32:39
I'm going to get you a confetti can and not to give it away immediately. But that's what you're going to get.
00:32:44
Yeah, you're going to love it. Back to us. Our book is out. It's going to be out on paperback.
00:32:49
This is a book announcement. it's going to be out so you can um pre-order it which is really great if you're if you're
00:32:55
gonna buy it please pre-order it that's just all we're asking because it just helps with uh
00:33:00
you know uh i don't know popularity popularity numbers numbers there's some sort of numbers
00:33:07
yeah it's the same like rate review subscribe on podcast it's pre-order for books exactly and and
00:33:13
while you're at it yeah why not pre-order it from your local independent bookstore always a cool
00:33:18
move. Yeah. But here's a little extra carrot that we're going to dangle for you. There is a little
00:33:23
bit of a sample of something that we've been working on that's in the soft cover. Why are
00:33:32
we calling it that? The paperback version of the book. Let's call it. If you order it, you're going
00:33:39
to get a little sneak peek at what we've been looking at. So all of that is going to be possible
00:33:45
for you in two months, May 11th, 2021. Essentially, there's a new chapter in the book.
00:33:52
And it's a sneak peek. And it's and it's so it's extra content than in the in the hard version,
00:33:59
the flaccid version has extra content. Let's not call it the flaccid version. I'm begging.
00:34:05
The book is a secretion of our emotion. Did you just spit your drink? Oh, I almost did a Diet Pepsi spit take. The worst kind there is.
00:34:15
We just secreted our hearts and souls into this book. And the flaccid version has more extra secretions.
00:34:24
Is this doing it for you? Stephen, don't just cut this. Burn it as you're cutting it.
00:34:30
And I don't know how you do that with digital, but I want this whole thing burnt.
00:34:33
Don't do it. I think that was the best words I've ever spat from my mouth. Don't take this from me.
00:34:40
I think that was the eloquentest I've ever eloquented. and I'm proud of myself. And you can find that and more
00:34:48
in Stay Sexy, Don't Get Murdered. That's right. If you even like this flaccid debate, then you're going to love
00:34:56
Stay Sexy, Don't Get Murdered, the paperback version. That's right. With extras.
00:35:00
Can you say all the details coming out May 11, 2021? Okay. I said it twice. And then I said it thrice.
00:35:09
Okay. What else? Oh, we just have a couple. We have some fun stuff happening on the network. If you want to know, for example, the great Lisa Traeger from
00:35:19
That's Messed Up, the SVU podcast from Exactly Right, is going to be on Lady to Lady.
00:35:23
That's right. And this podcast will kill you. Aaron and Aaron discuss Huntington's disease,
00:35:30
which remains shrouded in mystery. So that comes out this week. I can't imagine it's not the
00:35:36
awesomest frickin episode. Here's what I love about this podcast will kill you. They're one
00:35:43
of our original podcasts and they're still going strong. People love this podcast. It's Aaron and Aaron
00:35:49
kick-ass weekly. So if you haven't given it a try yet, get over there and see what you think And speaking of Lady to Lady Margaret Cho the great Margaret Cho who Karen has hung out with in the 90s is on as a guest One of my oldest and dearest friends Margaret Cho is also now a family member of the Exactly Right Podcast Network which is really fun and nice
00:36:13
Love it. The old gals love stuff like that. Legend. She's legendary. Legend. Cool.
00:36:21
Before we put up our quilt episodes from this week, which I mean, I'm so glad they're being broadcast to the world because they're great stories, both of them.
00:36:31
We want to address a issue that we think is important and it's a huge problem. And that is the racism that the Asian community is facing right now and historically.
00:36:48
and it's shocking and disgusting and we're horrified by it. So many people in our society
00:36:58
don't understand that this is an epidemic for Asian people as well. I don't think people see it.
00:37:08
And so I really think that we need to highlight it and talk about it. It's a huge problem
00:37:17
that we can't ignore and that we need to support this community. Yeah, the lives that were lost in Atlanta and that is such a, we always talk about these
00:37:28
mass shootings or senseless shootings. We always talk about afterwards, we need to talk about the victims' names.
00:37:34
You know, the conversation is becoming so redundant because there are people in this
00:37:40
world who think they can solve their own issues by going out and killing whoever they decide
00:37:45
should die. And that is a it's an oppressive state that everyone has to live in.
00:37:53
But especially, you know, this is a targeted group. Asian-Americans have been targeted for years.
00:37:59
So there's a collective called Red Canary Song and their website is redcanarysong.net.
00:38:07
And they call themselves a grassroots collective of Asian and migrant sex workers who are organizing transnationally.
00:38:15
nationally. And so they're basically their mission, it says on their website, centers base building
00:38:24
with migrant workers through a labor rights framework and mutual aid. We believe that full
00:38:29
decriminalization is necessary for labor organizing and anti-trafficking. Hashtag rights, not raids.
00:38:37
Hashtag sex work is work. So essentially, this is this is a collective of people who are getting
00:38:44
together to stand up for the rights of undocumented sex workers and sex workers, um, basically
00:38:51
across this nation. And it's, uh, it's a really, I think it's really cool because it's such direct aid and
00:38:59
it's such a good thing to support. So, um, we're going to give $10,000 to Red Canary Song in support of the victims of the
00:39:07
Atlanta shooting and to basically to help them with the, with the work that they're
00:39:13
doing on the street. That's right. And please donate if you can. If not, a great way to get the word out there is just to just get the word out and make it visible and keep it at the forefront of people's mind.
00:39:28
Hey, everyone, it's Cal Penn. I'm the host of Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club.
00:39:35
This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook Project Hail Mary,
00:39:43
massive sci-fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone very far from Earth.
00:39:51
I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections.
00:39:59
And it's like, OK, yo, yo, yo, is this indulgent? And I really thought about it. I was like, no, at this point, it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it.
00:40:11
But there's places in this book that deeply emotionally affected me. And I left it on the mic.
00:40:17
That's great. Because it served the story. People will say like, oh, my God, I cried at the end.
00:40:22
It's like, yeah, dude, me too. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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00:41:59
All right so I first this week Thank you, Stephen. And so I am doing a story from May 5th, 2019.
00:42:14
This was at the Toyota Music Factory in Dallas, Irving, Dallas slash Irving, Texas,
00:42:20
which was such a fun group of shows. Big old show. Big old show. We had fucking cowboy hats waiting for us in the green room.
00:42:29
It was wild. It was awesome. And so I'm doing the Adolphus Hotel Ghosts, which was terrifying.
00:42:38
We had video footage going of elevators going bonkers. It scared the shit out of me.
00:42:45
Definitely. So take a listen. Don't listen in a dark room late at night. It's scary.
00:42:52
And have fun. And this is the Adolphus Hotel Ghosts. It's you. It's me tonight? I start?
00:42:59
Okay, I'm first tonight, guys. Great. All right. Well, this one has it all. Ghosts.
00:43:09
What? Ghosts. Just two ghosts? Just a lot of ghosts. One ghost murders another. Get ready.
00:43:20
Forensic files? Take that. This is the deaths and ghosts of the Adolphus Hotel. Oh.
00:43:30
Yeah. So it turns out you guys have really safe six flags over Texas. And only two people have ever died there.
00:43:41
Oh. No stories to talk about from there? No. It's been over 52 years and there's only even two deaths.
00:43:48
A Roaring Rapids and Texas Giant roller coaster. Roaring Rapids. That's a bummer, right?
00:43:54
That's a tough one. But someone must have stood up, right? No. That's what it always is.
00:43:58
It was their fault. Oh. The water became electric? No. No. What? That boat tipped over.
00:44:07
No. But that was in the 50s? No. Shit. I tried to help you, Six Flags. I tried to help you.
00:44:16
Okay. So let me tell you about the Adolphus Hotel. And I got so much information from D Magazine.
00:44:24
There's an article by a woman named S. Holland Murphy who just fucking wrote the article about it.
00:44:32
She wrote the fuck out of that article? She did. She, like, went to the library and, like, microfished.
00:44:38
And then I just copied and pasted all of it. But she's a great writer. Yeah. I appreciate her.
00:44:44
S. Holland Murphy. Let's hear word for word how she did it. Okay. No, I didn't completely.
00:44:50
Okay. In 1910, go back there. Okay. The city of Dallas is booming. And the city leaders decides it needs a grand hotel for rich white people.
00:45:02
Great. So they convinced this dude, Adolphus Bush, B-U-S-C-H, founder of the Anheuser-Busch Company.
00:45:10
Woo! That company got me through the late 80s, early 90s. 90s. Thank you, Anheuser-Busch
00:45:17
and all your horses and all your men. He basically bought stock in Anheuser-Busch in the 90s.
00:45:25
One would hope. One would think. Okay, so they're like, hey dude, you're rich. Will you
00:45:30
build this? And he was like, I'm on it. And so construction began later that year in a new $1 million
00:45:36
hotel. They spent a million, which in today's money is... 1910, a million. That's easily $3 billion today.
00:45:45
$25 million. That might be wrong. $2.5 billion today. Thank you. That's almost $3 billion.
00:45:54
I'm getting fucking good at this future money thing. You are. You're really good at it.
00:45:59
I was $0.5 billion away from being right on the money. So they start building this hotel where Dallas City Hall once stood
00:46:08
that was to elevate downtown Dallas, which at the time was considered unsophisticated.
00:46:16
Whatever that means. Unconfisticated? Unconfisticated. And they wanted to turn it into a classy joint.
00:46:22
So here's what it looks. Hello. That's Adolphus Bush and all his facial hair. It makes sense that you'd be in a boardroom and you'd turn to this guy and go,
00:46:32
can you please build us a hotel? Yeah, he knows hotels, I hope. I mean, what? But he's, that's a very wide coat.
00:46:42
It is. The breadth and width. He's got a breadth and width to him, doesn't he? Okay, well, he was like, you know what I'm going to do?
00:46:51
Boom. I'm going to do that. Isn't that beautiful? Look at that. With its own moon.
00:46:57
Wow. Amazing. And actually, so when it opened in October 5th, 20, nope, 1912, that would take a long time.
00:47:07
That would be. The Adolphus Hotel was the first posh grand hotel in Dallas, and the 22-story hotel was the tallest building in the state of Texas for almost a decade.
00:47:19
So look at these little tiny hovels that bow down. Nothing. Get your own moon. Get out of here.
00:47:26
Right. That's our moon. That's our moon. Okay, so it opens. It's tall, et cetera.
00:47:32
So now the hotel is known as one of the most haunted spots in Dallas. secondly this room
00:47:41
what we asked it's only two years old but who knows what stood on it before they probably do
00:47:49
that would be we should have had a lighting cue where it all goes out like all the lights go out
00:47:55
including the exit sign that's illegal laughing because the scariest thing is a fire hazard yes okay um all right so the guests at the
00:48:10
adolphus have reported a number of strange experiences there's complaints from guests
00:48:14
being woken up by the sound of someone running down the hallways which me too right they've
00:48:18
yeah we've gotten that a couple times yeah and it's children or ghosts i don't know
00:48:23
ghost children the worst of all that's right um people feel like someone's watching them at all
00:48:29
times in a really creepy way they hear doors slam or hear the sound of a swing band playing music
00:48:34
like old tiny music in the middle of the night and when these incidents are reported the hotel
00:48:39
security goes to investigate of course there's nothing uh there and actually the 19th floor of
00:48:45
the hotel appears to be the like biggest concentration of ghost activities because
00:48:50
there was a ballroom located there in uh like in the way back time and there were big bands playing
00:48:58
there like Benny Goodman and Glenn Miller played there. And so you can still hear the music sometimes late at night playing, which sounds kind of
00:49:05
nice. I mean, if you're going to get haunted, I guess that's not the worst way. Now, there's simply no way it could be the radio.
00:49:13
Karen, I'm just saying. Are you a ghosty bunker? I might be a bit of a devil's advocate just for fun on this one.
00:49:20
Oh, it's the devil. It's the devil and his band. And I guess you know what it is, is that swing music and swing, when you first were like a swing dancing, and then I was like, dorks.
00:49:31
So that doesn't feel threatening to me. That feels like a gap ad from the 90s. I'm like, stop it.
00:49:37
Stop throwing her over your back. It's not interesting. Did you ever have to go on a terrible date where you went swing dancing?
00:49:44
Never once. No way. How many of us fucking tried to convince our boyfriends at the time to take us to this fucking swing dance lesson?
00:49:51
Did you? For real? I tried. And he was like, I guess I'll go. But it never happened.
00:49:56
You know why I didn't? Because I was blacked out drunk in the gutter. Thank you.
00:50:02
Because now I don't need dancing. So shut up. No one's going to swing Karen over their shoulder unless they're carrying her home.
00:50:15
Right? It's so true. Okay, so, yeah, like, you know, the normal fucking ghosty shit.
00:50:26
But here's the thing is there's been a shit ton of deaths that have happened since the hotel opened in 1922.
00:50:32
So they contribute those deaths to the rumors of it being haunted, including multiple murders from a very murderous, nefarious elevator shaft out for vengeance,
00:50:43
which is all I can come to the conclusion of because that's my thought. It's that or a lot of people just are clumsy.
00:50:50
Okay. October 20 God damn it Steven cut that out Steven Steven Oh he didn't even give
00:51:00
Shout out to Steven Sorry we missed you at the top He's not here He's not here But he's listening in the future
00:51:08
Yeah As a ghost Can you tell I'm trying to make this spooky Even though I don't really believe in ghosts
00:51:16
God damn it He died of mustache Turns out his mustache wax had stuff in it. Arsenic.
00:51:25
Arsenic in it. Okay, so just two weeks after the Adolphus' grand opening, an Italian waiter who had just moved to Dallas from Chicago,
00:51:35
okay, he was in the maid lobby of the hotel, walking toward the elevator, and he's like,
00:51:41
he turns to, he's walking around the elevator, and he's like, yeah, what's up? Let's just get in the elevator.
00:51:46
it turns out that he didn't notice the elevator lift has already left and he falls three floors
00:51:51
down the elevator shaft his skull is crushed and he dies two hours later at the baptist
00:51:58
sanitarium where doctors unsuccessfully perform the operation of raising the bone which i don't
00:52:04
know what that is but i i guess i tried to do it last night after forensic files
00:52:08
it didn't work yeah girl that's right that wasn't i did not plan that and i'm sweating now
00:52:18
was that a genuine riff yeah come on that's what we're looking for let me show you this uh
00:52:27
lobby that distracted him raise that phone i don't know where it's a lobby it's beautiful
00:52:34
it's humongous watch out for that elevator shaft it is murderous okay in May 1913
00:52:43
a 45 year old insurance man and Shriner from New Hampshire is out for a walk with a group of men
00:52:49
after they have a nice dinner at the Adolphus he becomes ill and quote sinks to the sidewalk
00:52:54
his friends help him back to the hotel and 30 minutes later he's dead the death has ruled
00:52:59
an acute attack of indigestion and apoplexy, which could mean a stroke, but it's also possible the medical examiner
00:53:09
used this as a random term for sudden death since they didn't have the technology we have now.
00:53:15
So they were like, he's dead. It's either stroke or this or that or that. Apoplexy.
00:53:20
Yeah, they lift up his coat and they're just like, this really feels like apoplexy to me.
00:53:25
And I've got to go. Right. um still we have to figure out what raising the bone is though i try to move his skull around i
00:53:35
think it's like they yeah i tried to find it and it's like cranial fucking craniotomy it's
00:53:41
definitely a crit if that's the same person that jumped my line you're dead me i'm gonna find you
00:53:46
in the parking lot it's not she's a craniologist you're only allowed to yell shit out if it's real
00:53:53
true science. No you not allowed to yell shit out at all God damn it Never never never But also what if it just a crane that yelling stuff I get to do my National Geographic jokes
00:54:06
It's not all boner jokes, god damn it. They throw you under the bus immediately.
00:54:13
I was just trying to get a cheap laugh. God. Okay, in February 1915, a 26-year-old man is in town on business from Iowa.
00:54:21
He's at dinner with another businessman. man. That's all they did back then. That's all they did is business dinners. He goes, excuse me,
00:54:28
I'm going to go to my room real quick and go to the bathroom. He goes up there and then he quote,
00:54:31
throws himself across the bed and is soon in convulsions and fucking dies on the bed. And
00:54:36
when they go to check it out, they find in the bathroom an almost empty six ounce bottle labeled
00:54:42
poison with a skull and crossbones. Probably. Yeah. I've seen that before. here's the note that he left right before he died
00:54:52
quote I got the wrong bottle love to all ooh he's kind of a joker no I think he was like
00:54:59
I think they put you know mouthwash and poison in the same bottles then and he was like swig
00:55:03
oh fuck guy screwed up goodbye doesn't that suck you know when you're like I bet they were drunk because they're businessmen
00:55:14
I hope so so like 10 old fashions later I guess fashions were called back then. Later.
00:55:23
Swigaroo of the fucking, right? And then, goddammit, this was for the rats. Like, why would you have a mouthwash-sized bottle of poison right near the bathroom sink?
00:55:34
These are all great questions. All right. I don't have answers. All right. In December 1917, after stopping to let a passenger off the sixth floor of the Adolphus Annex,
00:55:45
which is a brand new 12-story edition. They kept building shit. The 16-year-old elevator boy
00:55:51
attempts to hop on the already ascending elevator. He's going to like, it's going, but I'm going to get it.
00:55:57
No, Zachariah, no. He falls 100 feet to the basement and dies, obviously. Okay, this fucking elevator shaft.
00:56:09
Yeah, it's angry. At no point were they like, how about a little gate? How about we put up a gate?
00:56:13
How about a basic fucking... I mean, were they not used to moving mechanical things back then?
00:56:20
Maybe. Was that it? Where they just didn't have the respect? Or they were like, if you're going to do...
00:56:24
Everything is your fault back then. I think up until 2001, everything is your fault.
00:56:29
Oh, that's right. Right? You can sue anybody. It was every man for himself. Exactly.
00:56:35
So in January 1920, just after 11 p.m., on the Commerce Street entrance to the Adolphus,
00:56:41
a chauffeur for a different auto company is fatally shot three times by the chauffeur from the Adolphus.
00:56:49
Like, I think it's the, like, chauffeurs. And they're, like, dueling chauffeur companies.
00:56:53
Fuck yeah. Like, Chauffeur Wars. Yeah. That new show on the Discovery Channel. What the fuck?
00:56:59
So it turns out, and, like, 20 people witnessed the shooting. And one of the coworkers of the victim tells police that the man who was dead
00:57:07
had started a fight at the chauffeur's strike several days before. with this other dude.
00:57:13
And the gunman had a bruising cut on his face to show that he had gotten in a fight with this guy.
00:57:17
The guy shows up and fucking shoots him dead. Why weren't they still on strike? They'd settled it all down?
00:57:24
On October 20th, 1928. You're right. You're right. Thank you. I'm asking you about union issues from 1910.
00:57:42
I wish you wouldn't. I'm always asking you not to ask me about unions. I'm so sorry.
00:57:46
You know it's my trigger. But it's my passion. Your passion. This is never going to work.
00:57:51
My passion is your trigger. The Karen and Georgia story. Yes, forward by our therapist who we haven't seen in months.
00:58:01
He must be happy for us. I mean, he's like, they must be fine. They're great. Okay.
00:58:10
This is our job. Karen! Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes. And we're back. We're back at the fucking elevator shaft.
00:58:24
Oh, no! In October 1924, a 30-year-old cook sticks his head in the fucking elevator shaft.
00:58:30
No, dude, no. Where is that damn elevator? And he's taking a sip of poison as he does it.
00:58:37
Should be down here pretty soon. instantly killed by the descending car. I would imagine.
00:58:43
And then, like, you've got to think about the ripple effects of all of these people who watched people die in elevator shafts.
00:58:49
Sure. Did they get a free night at the Adolphus Hotel? Like, what the fuck? Right?
00:58:55
Yes, you can have, there's aspic, or you could have, I'm trying to think of old-fashioned dishes,
00:59:00
just a bunch of gravy on us. It's on us. Consomme. Consomme. Oh, just so much consomme.
00:59:06
How about a bunch of herring? No sides included. This reminds me, quick sidebar.
00:59:14
My dad told me a story one time, because he's a firefighter in San Francisco, and one time they went to a call, and when they got there,
00:59:22
it was an elevator that had dropped. Do they do that a lot? I don't think they drop a lot.
00:59:28
Okay, great. Although I do always, after he told me the story, check. You know there's a certificate inside every elevator.
00:59:34
You can check the last time it was inspected. As you're descending quickly. As you're like, ooh, my stomach did it.
00:59:41
Oh, shit, 93. So my dad told me that they walked in. I think it was a bank or some old building in San Francisco.
00:59:49
And they walked in, and the elevator car was almost all the way down. And a guy foot was sticking out of it And he had stepped into the elevator car and then it dropped With his weight something happened
01:00:05
The car snapped, dropped, caught on his foot. So the only thing that was keeping it from continuing to fall down
01:00:11
was the fact that his foot was stuck. I have so many questions. Okay, wait, so his foot was still on his body.
01:00:20
Yes. Well, yes. Well. Because he was hanging upside down in the dropped elevator car.
01:00:27
Yes. Okay. And so if he had moved, the elevator would have dropped. No. He could not have moved because he was pinned by the top of the, he was basically pinned
01:00:36
by being stuck like that. Was he okay? So that, no. There was nothing okay about that man.
01:00:44
Did he end up okay? I believe so. Because they had to. And of course, I'm not kidding.
01:00:50
I'm sure that when my dad told me this story, I was like seven. Mouthful of honeycomb.
01:00:57
Huh? He's like, here's another thing for you to be terrified of the rest of your fucking life.
01:01:02
Elevators. Yes. I guess they had to get a jack in. Like they went out to a car, got a jack.
01:01:11
And then they had to hold the guy's foot, which was smashed. And then jack the elevator car up enough to get him out.
01:01:18
goodbye yep take the fucking stairs what a fun comedy sidebar that was you know what it is i
01:01:25
just there's things like this that because of my father i've been holding inside for years and now
01:01:29
i can get them out like 4 000 people at a time give it to them they love it give it to it's not
01:01:35
yours anymore this is a they do it's first responder shit this is please have some respect
01:01:40
for the first responders and the horrible things they see at all times man guys if you have anxiety
01:01:47
anxiety, I highly suggest you start a podcast and just spill all your shit to people.
01:01:52
Yeah, you just get it right out. It's great. Moving on to more shit. Great. Then, February 1930, a hat model.
01:02:00
She must have had a lovely head. She's fine. She walks into the hotel room of a 60-year-old man.
01:02:08
He's a hat salesman. She's going to, I don't know. This is dirty. A hat salesman walks into a bar.
01:02:17
No. First of all, when have you ever seen a hat model? They just stick them on those styrofoam heads.
01:02:22
I don't really understand this either. Okay. I won't ask questions. No, ask them because I have them too.
01:02:27
Okay. She's going to go help him with his, maybe he's going to take photographs of her in the
01:02:32
jaunty little, I don't know. In a hat only? The point is, yeah. The point is the man is nowhere to be found and she notices that there's a torn window
01:02:42
screen. And so she notifies the staff and the man's body is soon found in an air shaft.
01:02:49
What? The young woman tells authorities that the man had recently been despondent and told her he wouldn't see his family again.
01:02:58
How did he get into the air shaft? According to the newspaper, the force gained in the fall from the eighth floor where he fell from caused the body to tear through the galvanized iron roof of an air shaft in one of the inside courts.
01:03:15
He plunged through the bottom of the shaft and fell through where the blades of the air shaft.
01:03:22
Oh, my God. That's like Raiders of the Lost Ark shit. Yeah. And then that explains the loud crash and puff of dust from fans reported by kitchen employees the night before.
01:03:36
Cover the consomme. Put your hands out. Now, I don't know if that's just a little bit made up by S. Holland Murphy, but I'm going to stick to it.
01:03:45
And it's now fact. Wow. Well, it would make sense if you had that kind of an impact.
01:03:50
It's just like, it cleans that shit out. Bummer. Okay. Okay. June 1940, a crowd gathers outside the hotel when a man with his clothes ablaze falls from the 11th floor and dies on impact on the bottom.
01:04:05
Some witnesses thought he was overcome by smoke and falls. Other people thought he jumped to escape the flames.
01:04:10
Four days later, after what is called an extensive investigation, but who knows?
01:04:15
An extensive four-day investigation. Right. Sure. into the man's death jurors decide no state laws were violated during the incident
01:04:23
though nowhere is the fire explained and they all got a free stay at the hotel i made that part up
01:04:28
but probably and the coroner walks up that's totally apoplexy if i've ever seen it yes yep
01:04:35
where's my free aspic in august 1946 uh okay according to the fire marshal a 51 year old man
01:04:43
wakes up and takes his burned pillow and sheets into the bathroom. He had fallen asleep
01:04:50
while smoking and lit the bed on fire. He was like, I'm just going to bundle this up
01:04:54
and put it in the tub. Then he dies after inhaling smoking gas when the fire starts back up again.
01:05:01
He didn't tamp it out. I don't know. Don't smoke in bed, friends. And also, don't drink and smoke in bed
01:05:08
because I think that's a piece of it. Did you ever do that? There, here, the fire's out.
01:05:13
tie tie that's right um okay alright so here's some fucking murdery shit that's what you guys are here for
01:05:26
um I mean the guy with the suit on fire is that alone is amazing what was his thing
01:05:35
the jury said it was fine everything's fine he grabbed the wrong bottle it's fine
01:05:40
in 1959 Oh my God four by eight inset in the building and hitting the walls as she went down And also included was the details of such things as what the book she had been reading that was lying on her bed
01:06:07
which was A Fool There Was. Have you read it? Yeah, I love it. It's a lot like Twilight.
01:06:16
I looked it up and it said, A cunning woman who uses her irresistible charms to seduce and abandon a series of influential men.
01:06:24
You know how we like to do. Yeah. There are signs of a struggle, but the case remains unsolved for months.
01:06:32
Many men are questioned, but it isn't until months later in January of 1959 when an 18-year-old woman was beaten and left for dead at the Mercantile Continental Building in a closet.
01:06:46
And authorities find a man named Willie Philpott who had worked at the Adolphus.
01:06:50
and they question him and he confesses to both the beating of the woman at the mercantile who survived
01:06:56
and the murder of the woman at the Adolphus. Wow. He tells authorities that he had been working at the Adolphus
01:07:02
and had delivered food to the woman's room throughout the day and he says she invited him in for some whiskey
01:07:07
and while they were talking, quote, his hand began to twitch in a murdery way, which is like, dude.
01:07:14
Well, that's when you leave. I mean. Great idea. If the murder hand starts going, go back to your own fucking room.
01:07:22
Yeah. Take a cold shower, friend. Turn yourself in, maybe. Oh, so turns out I have a murder hand.
01:07:28
Could you put me into a cell or a hospital of some kind? Yeah. Oh, want to see the rooms at the adult office?
01:07:35
Yeah. Ooh. Haunted. Haunted. Haunted. Haunted. Haunted. Smells weird. Also humongous.
01:07:44
Yeah. Huge. And we're like, and that was $7 a night. Yeah, truly. Okay. So he says that she invited him in. His murder hand began to twitch. He chokes her, and then when she stopped moving, he threw her out the window and went back to work.
01:08:01
Wow. He also confessed to the murder of a 10-year-old girl in Longview, and he's executed for that murder.
01:08:09
Wow. Yay. March 1971 a witness says he warns the hotel porter to make sure the elevator car is on the second
01:08:19
floor he's going to load in some band equipment remember that swing dancing we heard
01:08:23
wait it's 1971 so it's that's right I don't laugh like that I don't know what's happening
01:08:36
we know it's like it's the phlegm guy coming back to haunt you he's like i'll show you he's having his
01:08:45
revenge that's right um just after replying after the hotel porter says yeah the elevator's right
01:08:52
here see and steps into it guess what it's not there no okay it seems like with this elevator
01:09:00
it never is no i'm telling you this fucking elevator is a murderer yeah it is the most
01:09:07
famous spirit that everyone claims to see at the Adolphus, of course, is the Lady in White, which I think every
01:09:12
popular hotel has to have. The story is that a young woman was left at the altar
01:09:18
getting married. She was going to get married during the Depression era, and she was so upset that her
01:09:22
fiancé didn't show up for the wedding that she hanged herself in the hotel's grand
01:09:27
ballroom on the 19th floor. And now she roams the halls of the Adolphus, sobbing and trailing after hotel
01:09:34
ghosts. Many ghosts have reported seeing an apparition of a young woman in an old-fashioned bridal gown.
01:09:40
Can I just ask one question? Absolutely. She's trailing after ghosts. Did I say that?
01:09:45
Yeah. Hotel guests. Yes. Yes. No, but think of it. How scary is the ghost that haunts other ghosts?
01:09:54
That's horrifying. That is... That's next level fucking EMT meter shit where you are like...
01:10:04
Well, it's fact now because I said it. Yeah. Then the ghost union gets involved.
01:10:16
You can't haunt them if they're haunting people. One per ghost. Please. Please don't haunt the haunted.
01:10:25
Wait, okay. The guests all see the ghost. of a young woman in an old-fashioned bridal gown on the 19th floor.
01:10:36
She's been seen wandering other areas of the hotel as if searching for something.
01:10:40
And when people sneak up to the 19th floor, I think it was under construction for a while,
01:10:45
they always felt, I just wrote, they feel different temperatures. Yeah. And feel like someone's watching them.
01:10:52
Because they're like, it's hot, it's cold, it's hot. It's like, all right, maybe it's hot or cold,
01:10:57
and it's a fucking building from the 1912s. Yeah. But it's not. It's haunted. Guests regularly phone the front desk to report heavy footsteps in the hall or muffled conversation in empty rooms.
01:11:11
And when security goes to investigate, there's nobody around. And they've also, the employees have reported strange activity in the hotels.
01:11:18
Maids will feel, I'm sorry, hotel staff will feel a tap on the shoulder when no one is around.
01:11:23
Ew, that's not a good one. No. And, yeah, just sidebar, but. I, today, I got no brag breakfast, room service breakfast.
01:11:34
And then I left to go fucking walk on a treadmill. Oh, you did? Yeah. Wow. I'm at least putting in half an effort.
01:11:42
And since, anyway. I get it. I can't get into it right now. But when I got back to my room, it was filthy as I left it.
01:11:52
But the room service tray was gone. So, like, snuck in and stole your. I didn't ask for it to be removed.
01:12:00
I kind of was thinking I might go back to that, to those berries when I come home.
01:12:04
And it was like, isn't that weird? That's so weird. Someone just came and took just the tray.
01:12:09
No one cleaned my room or made the bed or did anything helpful. Gave me new towels.
01:12:13
It was just like, yeah, we'll be taking this back now. We only have one. You can't just pick your food for four hours.
01:12:22
We're mad at our hotel room. Anyway, just more of a complaint than anything else.
01:12:25
Sorry. We're not staying at the Adolphus. Otherwise, that would not have happened.
01:12:30
Okay, blah, blah, blah. Bartenders say that bottles move around and shit. What? I know.
01:12:35
And flip up in the air like in cocktail. The ghost of Tom Cruise. Okay, there's several videos on YouTube, meaning two videos on YouTube,
01:12:45
that show elevator doors on the 19th floor that open and close on their own. And the courtesy phone on the desk there rings all the time, too,
01:12:54
and no one's ever on the line. Want to see a video of that? Hell yeah. Okay, so there's a video by someone named Aristolic.
01:13:02
He says, we were on the elevator at the Adolphus Hotel in Dallas, got up at the 19th floor,
01:13:08
and all the elevator doors were opening and closing like crazy. Ooh. And the phones were ringing.
01:13:13
This happened two nights in a row. And I don't think there's any volume on it, which is even creepier.
01:13:18
Ready? Ooh, do we get to watch video? Oh! How good is this? Yes. Look at them opening and closing.
01:13:22
Oh, thank you for the laugh. I didn't know we could run video. I didn't either. I asked Jay, and he's like, I'm on it.
01:13:27
Hell yes. That's ringing in the video. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Oh, my God. And then look.
01:13:34
These start opening. Come on. Okay. Opening. Everyone's freaking out. Why is that one opening?
01:13:41
Why am I narrating this? They just started like, ding, ding, ding. Closing. Opening.
01:13:48
God damn it. This is supposed to be scary. Am I not helping? Well, I mean, they are all opening, closing.
01:13:56
You can't argue that. No. they're freaking out. Also, I just saw a ghost run by.
01:14:02
Did you see it? He was wearing a slipknot shirt. I saw him with my own eyes. The ghost with the cargo shorts.
01:14:12
Yes, so scariest. Okay, so Adolphus has embraced the haunted reputation. There's a stop on a haunted tour
01:14:20
that's called the Nightly Spirits. They stop by the bar. The hotel is known as one of the fucking swankiest hotels in Texas.
01:14:27
and, you know, it's really nice now, but people go there just to look for ghosts.
01:14:31
And the Adolphus was added to the National Register of Historic Places, blah, blah, blah, top ten hotels by a bunch of travel guides.
01:14:40
And since its construction in 1912, the Adolphus has maintained a reputation for being fancy and swanky
01:14:46
and guests want to keep coming back, which they think is why the ghosts won't leave.
01:14:50
And that is the deaths and ghosts of the Adolphus Hotel. Amazing. I want to see that.
01:14:57
Yeah. Hey, everyone. It's Cal Penn. I'm the host of Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club.
01:15:08
This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's
01:15:13
audiobook Project Hail Mary, massive sci-fi adventure about survival and science and what
01:15:21
happens when you wake up alone very far from Earth. I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections.
01:15:31
And it's like, OK, yo, yo, yo, is this indulgent? And I really thought about it.
01:15:35
I was like, no, at this point, it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it.
01:15:44
But there's places in this book that deeply emotionally affected me. And I left it on the mic.
01:15:50
That's great. Because it served the story. people will say like oh my god i cried at the end it's like yeah dude me too listen to ear say the
01:15:57
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01:17:05
Ooh, spooky. You gonna sleep with the lights on tonight? Delightful. Yeah, do it.
01:17:13
Delightful. it's so funny to be going into these old shows and be trying to remember like this experience
01:17:22
that we have is so uh like it basically is like one of three things you know what i mean we walk
01:17:29
in the back door we get walked down a long hallway we sit in a green room we put on our makeup we do
01:17:35
our hair yeah georgia tries to convince me to pose with her for a picture on instagram i say no and
01:17:40
If you do it, I'll kick you in the shin. And then I go, look at this photo. And you're like, OK, what about this?
01:17:46
And then she says, don't forget filters. And then I'm like, fine. It goes on and on.
01:17:51
Then we walk out. We zip each other's dresses. We fucking. She pulls up my Spanx for me There so much teamwork I forget to strap my shoes on before I zip up my tight ass dress So I have to force Vince like a slave to buckle my heels
01:18:09
And when they get into stuff like that, I step out of the hallway and say, you guys do what you need to do as a pre-show ritual.
01:18:15
That's fine. But then it's really funny because then in talk, some of these some of the places are very different.
01:18:22
Yeah. And so my story is going to be from the D.C. Constitution Hall. Oh, yeah. I think we both remember February 2nd, 2019.
01:18:32
So this is a lot of stuff happened at the D.C. Constitution Hall. We had a lot of peak experiences there.
01:18:38
Absolutely. The look of it was very distinctive. So I can remember being there very clearly.
01:18:44
The audience was like a gorgeous emotional tide. It ebbed and flowed with us. They were there.
01:18:54
They were laughing. They were gasping. They were right just on the edge of their seats.
01:18:58
We had the legendary hometown of the woman who tried her best to talk about Lorena Bobbitt.
01:19:04
And she couldn't get it out. Possibly won the award for the drunkest person that's ever been on a stage.
01:19:11
She wishes she's the drunkest person. She doesn't even know me. this is the one where Vince
01:19:19
Vince you know he'll have them come up to him and wait in the wings with him and he said
01:19:24
oh fuck bless her heart we're not making fun of her I'm sure she's lovely and was nervous whatever
01:19:32
and not expecting to go on stage I've been Karen have we been there when we're talking about no judgments
01:19:39
on drunkenness I'm telling you that if I even had a nice concept of judgment about drunkenness, I would be smote down by the Lord because I have been inappropriately drunk
01:19:53
in so many churches at so many baby showers in so many situations. I've had high school.
01:20:00
I feel bad laughing. You can laugh. It's it's the kind of thing where I want you to understand
01:20:05
that whether that woman does that every night or she just does it once a year, I don't give a shit I fucking loved it it made my day and that's the kind of thing where people go
01:20:17
oh my god I'm so embarrassed I got so drunk last night and I always go that's the point yeah
01:20:21
whatever you did you you fucking peed in a driveway whatever you did that you're so humiliated by
01:20:27
that was the agreement that you entered into Karen just did a signature an air signature by the way
01:20:33
I don't want people it's it's let you can have the shame but then leave the shame yeah the shame
01:20:40
at the garbage dump. Or do something with the shame that's constructive if that's
01:20:44
what you need to do, which we understand that too. If the shame's been sitting there for a long
01:20:50
time and you can't get it to move, then maybe drink less so you don't have so much shame to
01:20:54
fucking deal with and you're just not shoveling it all over the place all the time.
01:20:57
Totally. But if you're going to have one great night, do it at the Constitution Hall, the huge, rectangular,
01:21:06
shallow, humongous place and do it I don't know if it was the same night because it was actually a series of shows.
01:21:13
But this on February 2nd, this night, I told everybody about the legend of the bunny man.
01:21:19
And so that's what you're about to hear. That was scary, too. Fuck. It's very unnerving.
01:21:24
This is a scary episode. This is what we call this is our Halloween in March show.
01:21:29
Don't you miss Halloween? This is the giant skeleton show. Yeah. Right. Bring it back.
01:21:35
Bring it back. He never went anywhere. There's people that are now dressing him up as the Easter bunny.
01:21:39
I fucking love it. Dressed, dressed to 20, the 12 foot skeleton up as, do you think we'll dress him as a mom for Mother's Day?
01:21:49
Floral dress. The mother from Psycho. You could be, put that giant skeleton in a giant rocking chair,
01:21:56
put a wig on it. It's the mother from Psycho for Mother's Day. But don't forget a face mask because that's important.
01:22:03
Quit, quit messing around. All right. Here's the, the legend of the bunny man for everybody.
01:22:08
Are you first? I am first tonight. And I'm excited to be first because I'm going to talk about the Fairfax Bunny Man.
01:22:25
Are they mad at you or are they on board? What is that? Well, I'll tell you. Is it creepy?
01:22:31
It's super fucking creepy. Anything about a bunny man is fucking creepy as shit.
01:22:36
Yeah. Chatter, chatter, chatter. What's super weird is I was just saying to somebody a couple days ago, like, don't you think rabbits are creepy?
01:22:47
And whoever I said it to was like, no. You know why she said no? I was there for this because she had a rabbit on her collar.
01:22:56
She was like, no, I don't think rabbits are creepy. I love them. I wouldn't be wearing them on my dress if I thought they were creepy.
01:23:05
Sometimes I do that where, like, I see a sentence pop up into my head. I'm like, just say it.
01:23:11
See what happens. It didn't seem like it was going to be offensive. I was really trying to.
01:23:17
I mean. I was just trying to relate. It's a fucking fact of your life. It's a fact of my life.
01:23:23
Of life. And an opposite fact in her life. Okay, so just so you know, I got a lot of this information from the Washingtonian.com.
01:23:31
Smart, smart people. There's also a website called Only in Your State. That's dummies who didn't graduate high school.
01:23:45
I don't know if Only in Your State, if they have one for every state or if it's just for here.
01:23:51
No, I think they do. Do they? Okay. Because I thought it was Only in This State Okay anyway So this is part of this has been an urban legend around these parts for the past 40 years
01:24:09
I don't know this one. I'm scared. Okay, so we're starting here. Let's do it. Long ago.
01:24:17
Can someone start a campfire really quick? Get the vibe right? Yeah, let the speakers on fire.
01:24:25
Long ago, there was an insane asylum in the woods. This is how you know it's an urban legend.
01:24:32
Yeah. No one's ever built an insane asylum in the woods. Just that one Cropsey lived at.
01:24:37
Right. And then after that, they were like, we got to stop doing this. They don't.
01:24:41
There's no need to put these things in the woods. There's an insane asylum in the woods dividing the town of Clifton from Fairfax Station.
01:24:51
Guys, I looked at both of those cities on Google Maps today. They are gorgeous. Okay.
01:25:01
But the locals in both of those towns didn't like the idea of having a whole hospital filled with the criminally insane.
01:25:09
I don't know if they were criminally insane. I just put that in. Criminally insane housed so close to their city.
01:25:14
So they started a petition to close the asylum. They sound like great people. It's like down a little.
01:25:22
Oh. And then. Or over? Or over. Oh, wait. Back? No, not back. There we go. Yes, back.
01:25:31
Okay, that's creepy as fuck. The Bunny Man Bridge. I'm trying to set a scene of things being in the forest.
01:25:39
Yeah. Let's not skip ahead to Bunny Man Bridge yet. Okay, sorry. Forest. Forest.
01:25:43
Creepy. Hate it. Stay out. Fucking Lyme disease everywhere. So they close the asylum.
01:25:52
Oh, they did it? They did it. Oh, that's lame. In 1904, they close the asylum and all the patients are piled into a bus from 1904.
01:26:05
All it takes is just, if you print out an urban legend and read it aloud, you're like, no, no, I don't think so.
01:26:12
Very unlikely. Probably not. So they get into a big yellow bus. Okay. A greyhound.
01:26:23
Mrs. Partridge is driving. And all the inmates are driven, the patients are driven to Lorton Prison.
01:26:33
Great. Okay. That's a prison nearby. On the way, the bus swerves and crashes. No.
01:26:40
Of course. And after the crash, all of the patients run into the forest. Most of them are caught and brought back to Lorton Prison, except one man named Douglas Griffin.
01:26:56
So while they're searching for Douglas Griffin, the authorities find a trail of half-eaten gutted rabbits.
01:27:03
And many more hanging from a nearby underpass tunnel below the Fairfax Station Bridge.
01:27:13
I probably should have brought the tunnel up now. Somebody made this online. No!
01:27:23
No! I didn't think it would work. I didn't know it would work as a gift. I didn't know we could do gifts.
01:27:27
That's so awesome! That's great to know we could do gifts. Look at it! You're scaring everyone.
01:27:34
Too bad. That's the creepiest, that's the creepiest gift I've ever seen. Oh my God, this fucking, these live shows have now changed,
01:27:44
and I know we can do fucking gifts. Now that we can do fucking gifts as much as we want.
01:27:48
I better turn that off. That GIF was made by someone named Sam Wolf Connelly. The entire website was called samwolfconnelly.com,
01:27:58
so I got really scared that if I didn't credit this GIF, it seemed like a big deal for Sam Wolf Connelly,
01:28:04
so I want him to get full credit. He seems to be great at making GIFs. Cool. You can call them GIFs if you want to,
01:28:12
but that's not what they actually are called. we were somewhere the other day our fucking agent our agent was like yeah there we could use a gif
01:28:24
and i'm like uh-huh what he did it casually as if we weren't all like what like she just said it
01:28:29
in a sentence and then no one and we're just like i'm like that's peanut butter you nerd okay
01:28:34
so then right dead hanging rabbits what the police some are crying some are holding each other
01:28:43
If it's an urban legend, you can say whatever the fuck you mean. Yeah. Mayhem. So then, the police searched the woods for Griffin for months.
01:28:54
They can't find him. And then, on Halloween night. Oh. He had a calendar in the woods, and he was like, this is going to be great.
01:29:03
That's what I was saying. How the fuck would you know? This is going to be great.
01:29:07
He does something on Halloween night at the stroke of midnight. where I was just like, what, does he have just an amazing digital watch back in 1904?
01:29:16
No, he didn't. He's standing by the sundial all day. Come on, midnight. Sundial wouldn't help you at, no, okay.
01:29:29
It's my urban legend now. So then on Halloween night, several teens. That phrase, that phrase is a red flag right there.
01:29:39
Yeah, because teens didn't exist until the 1950s. That's true. Right? That is exactly right.
01:29:45
Also, anytime someone uses the phrase several teens, they don't know what they're talking
01:29:49
about. There's two or there's five. Or there like 30 and they pushing a bus over Okay Yeah A lot of rules And then on Halloween night several teens meet up under the bridge to hang out and party Halloween style
01:30:09
Yeah, but it's 1904. 1904. So what they did is they got one big piece of molasses and they broke it off with several different pieces.
01:30:18
Oh, fun. Eat this, Anne Marie. That kind of shit. They're partying. Okay. And at the stroke of midnight,
01:30:31
of course, several teens are attacked by an axe-wielding man who's dressed like a rabbit.
01:30:43
So he went to a fucking costume shop, got a digital fucking watch. Sorry, I skipped ahead.
01:30:48
He's not dressed like a rabbit. Sorry. They're just attacked with an axe. Okay. All right.
01:30:55
The next morning, several teens are found hanging from the bridge. Jesus. Gutted like the rabbits Douglas Griffin had left in his wake.
01:31:03
What the fuck? And when police finally find Douglas Griffin at that tunnel overpass,
01:31:09
I wrote overpass, but it would really be the underpass part. He's not on the top.
01:31:13
Oh, no, he is on the top. Because he runs away from the police onto the tracks and is hit by an oncoming train.
01:31:19
and after the train passed they heard Douglas laughing. No, that's all. What? And then it's eventually revealed that Douglas Griffin had been institutionalized
01:31:34
for killing his entire family on Easter Sunday. Oh, okay. So much bullshit. Yeah.
01:31:46
The most beautiful roses. You have to pick one holiday per urban legend. Yeah. You know what I mean?
01:31:52
It's an Easter murder. It's celebrated on Halloween. Right. You can't do both. It's how they do it here.
01:31:58
Okay. And to this day, it's said that if you are at Bunnyman Bridge at midnight on Halloween night,
01:32:06
you too will meet the fate of those several teens and innocent bunnies. Now I just want to share this with you.
01:32:18
Oh, no. Why? Why would anyone? I was trying to look for things, you know, different pictures on the Internet.
01:32:33
And if you put in creepy bunny or bunny killer or the bunny man, like this comes up immediately under bunny man.
01:32:40
Yeah, it does. They're like, here's what you're getting yourself into. You sure you want to proceed? Click yes or no.
01:32:47
Click yes or no. Love Google. I just, anytime I see one of those things, I'm like, please introduce me to the person who made that mask.
01:32:56
Because they based it on what they think faces look like. And bunnies. And bunnies.
01:33:03
Hate it. Goodbye. Goodbye. That doesn't, that's not related. I just wanted to show you that picture.
01:33:10
Okay, so this story first started getting told. It appeared in 1973 in the University of Maryland school paper, The Fighting Rabbit Masks.
01:33:23
And from then, it's been told and retold by several teens. God, they will not quit it.
01:33:32
Guys, have you learned anything? So here's how you know it's an urban legend. It starts exactly like that scene from The Fugitive where the bus crashes and all the people run off the bus.
01:33:46
Also, an asylum in the forest, as we said, it just would never happen. It didn't exist.
01:33:52
All these things. I wrote it out. How did he know it was a stroke of midnight? Bloody blue.
01:33:56
Okay, so there's an archivist, the Fairfax County archivist named Brian Conley, who grew up hearing this story
01:34:03
and finally decided he wanted to look into it and see where it came from and what it was all about.
01:34:09
And so he researched it for 10 years. Whoa. Yes. That's an urban legend. That's too long.
01:34:16
And at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve. He realized he wasted a shit ton of time.
01:34:26
He seems like the kind of guy who's like, I'm a researcher, but I don't want to get into like heavy shit or boring shit.
01:34:33
I'm just going to talk about stories people tell each other for fun. So in 2002, he published what is considered the foremost paper on the Fairfax Bunny Man.
01:34:43
And thank God he did. Nobody else had even submitted one. And they were like, go ahead, dude.
01:34:49
No one's competing with you. Okay. So one of the first things he finds out is that Lorton Prison wasn't even open until 1916.
01:34:57
1616. So that, it could have been that prison that they were driving their big yellow bus to.
01:35:04
There were no records of any asylum ever having been in the forest between those two cities.
01:35:10
There hasn't been an asylum around here. For over 25 years. I'm just going to now start doing a foghorn leghorn impression when I say the phrase 25 years.
01:35:21
Also, there was no records of anyone named Douglas Griffin living in the area, and there was no bridge anywhere near the forest that lies between those two cities.
01:35:34
I mean, the story is nothing without a bridge. Really falling apart. Yeah. Okay, so Brian Connolly believes that the story is referring to Fairfax Station Bridge on Colchester Road,
01:35:46
which that actually was a picture of, which was a party spot for local several teens.
01:35:53
And also is a creepy-looking tunnel. And now Google Maps calls this... That bridge, Bunny Man Bridge.
01:36:01
And that's, it's called that there. It's actually officially called that now. Or, you know, at Google headquarters.
01:36:09
But here's the twist. It's actually based on a true story. Shut the fuck up. Yes.
01:36:17
Everybody scream. So. I'll show you this. Show me something. Tell me about the thing you're going to.
01:36:26
Is it another bunny costume? Could it be a. Okay. No. So listen. No. Yeah. No. Apparently, around 1970.
01:36:38
70? 7-0. Okay. 70. Got it. There were two incidents in Burke, Virginia. You're cheering for yourself?
01:36:49
You have a bunny man running around. How dare you? An axe-wielding bunny man. You're cheering.
01:36:58
the fighting axe-wielding bunny men. Yes. That high school. So there's two incidents.
01:37:05
The first one, on October 18th, 1970, Air Force Academy cadet Robert Bennett and his fiancée,
01:37:12
they've just come back from a football game around midnight. No. A stroke. And they went to his uncle's house.
01:37:22
So he decides he's going to pull his car into the empty field across the street from his uncle's house.
01:37:27
Great. and they're sitting in the car. The engine is on. And all of a sudden they see, I lost my spot.
01:37:36
All of a sudden they see something moving outside the rear window. This is on the 5400 block of Guinea Road,
01:37:45
if anyone wants to double check my sources. Moments later, the front passenger window is smashed
01:37:53
and there's a man in a white suit and long bunny ears standing near the broken window.
01:37:59
The man starts screaming at them about trespassing. He says, you're on private property.
01:38:05
I have your tag number. And as they drive away, they find a hatchet on the car floor.
01:38:12
Neither of them are hurt. What? Here's... Oh. I don't get it. You're not supposed to.
01:38:25
This is out of order. Basically, later on, Bennett's who he ends up getting married.
01:38:31
It's it's called. What's happening? This is this is where I'm like, and the KKK is in Burke.
01:38:45
All of you know the guy when it happened, the guy was like, it's a guy in a white suit with long bunny ears.
01:38:53
and the wife's like, actually it was a Spanish caprioti or whatever, however you pronounce this correctly.
01:38:59
She thought it was that thing. Oh. I guess you couldn't see that being bunny ears.
01:39:04
There's the real hatchet that they found in their car. The police gave it back to them after the whole thing
01:39:10
and they went ahead and mounted it and put it up on a wall next to their singing trout.
01:39:16
So Brian Conley actually goes and finds the Bennets. They're, you know, obviously they were dating when this happened to them.
01:39:27
They were now, they have been married for 45 years. They don't like talking about it.
01:39:31
Yeah, let's hear it for fidelity. So nice. They don't like talking about it, but they did confirm, yes, this did happen.
01:39:40
They don't like talking about it, but they got the fucking, come on. That's just for family.
01:39:45
That's all they talk about all the time. That's in their secret bunny man room off the kitchen.
01:39:51
Next to the trout. You have to go. So basically, he confirms the story not only with the Bennets, but also with Captain Bennets.
01:40:04
Was he a captain? No, a cadet. With Robert Bennets' aunt, who clearly remembers the night that it happened,
01:40:11
and says that she remembers combing shards of glass out of the girlfriend's hair.
01:40:17
Ooh, that's a fun image. Right? And haunting. Where was the uncle in all this? Whose hair was he combing?
01:40:23
Okay. Then, two weeks after the Bennett attack, the bunny man shows up again a block away.
01:40:31
Now, this time it's October 29th, 1970. You see how we're creeping up on Halloween?
01:40:36
Oh, I see it there. Okay. Okay, good. A private security guard for a construction site named Paul Phillips spots a man on the front porch of a new unoccupied house.
01:40:47
So he goes up. This is in Kings Park West, also on Guinea Road. It's a gorgeous housing development. So many nice porches.
01:40:58
So he comes up and he's like about to say, hey, you can't be around here or whatever.
01:41:03
and he sees a guy in a gray, black, and white bunny costume holding an axe. And when he begins to speak,
01:41:12
he thinks the man's 20 years old, 5'8", weighs around 175 pounds. Looks like a bunny.
01:41:17
Looks exactly like a terrible, terrible rabbit. And as he starts talking to him,
01:41:23
the man starts chopping at the porch post that's on the side and saying, if you don't get out of here,
01:41:29
I'm going to bust you on the head. What a dick. There's another version of the story where he says,
01:41:36
if you come any closer, I'll chop off your head. Which is like the punched up version of the first one.
01:41:44
Busting you in the head, it doesn't even seem that threatening. You know that thing where you can't say the right thing right away?
01:41:50
You're like, I should have said. Why did I tell him I was going to bust him in the head What does that even mean It meaningless Chop off your head I going to chop off your head Next time That what I going to say next time
01:42:07
Okay, so in the weeks following these incidents, more than 50 people contact the police
01:42:12
claiming to have seen the bunny man. Several newspapers, including the Washington Post,
01:42:17
report that the bunny man ate a man's runaway cat. What? Yes. He made that up. I just, I'm not laughing at a dead cat.
01:42:27
I'm laughing at the idea that a Washington Post reporter had to go out. Yeah. Uh-huh.
01:42:34
Was it a tabby or a calico? What am I doing with my life? There were actually several more Washington Post articles about the bunny man.
01:42:46
One on October 22nd, the man in bunny costume sought in Fairfax. Another one on Halloween, the rabbit reappears.
01:42:57
Then a week later, bunny man scene. And then two days after that, bunny reports are multiplying.
01:43:05
That's... Stop it. Stop it. Someone was bored out of their mind. In 1973, a student at the University of Maryland, College Park, named...
01:43:19
Go the... The shattered windshield. The fighting shattered windshield. That is a very dangerous mascot.
01:43:31
Can you imagine? You're just like the Badgers and you're like, what? We have to play against shattered glass?
01:43:38
The mascot just rolled in some shattered glass. Swings their arms at you. This is not regulation.
01:43:47
so Patricia Johnson actually submits a research paper so this is years before our friend Brian Conley
01:43:57
and it's saying that there have been 54 variations on those two incidents since they had been reported
01:44:04
so basically she was starting I think a study on urban legends and how stories like this, if you got a nugget of something
01:44:11
good, like a man in a bunny costume with an axe that thing is going to go, it's just going to spread and go everywhere.
01:44:19
It's like gonorrhea. The good kind. That good gonorrhea. So Brian Conley, in his studies, he finds police reports confirming that the Fairfax County police
01:44:37
did look for a male in his late teens or early 20s dressed as a bunny. Never say rabbit, always bunny.
01:44:45
But they don't find anything conclusive. And in one of the last police reports, it said,
01:44:50
after a very extensive investigation into this and all other cases of the same nature,
01:44:56
it is still unsubstantiated as to whether or not there really is a white rabbit.
01:45:01
And so to this day, no one knows who that bunny man was or what motivated him. Brian Conley's theory was that there was a grumpy old man that owned that property across the street
01:45:12
from Bennett's uncle's house. And that grumpy old man was very angry about all the development
01:45:20
that had been happening in the area. He died about a year before that first event.
01:45:25
And so Brian Conley thinks that it's a family member that basically is out there,
01:45:29
was fighting the good fight for old grandpa or whatever. And he's also in the Ku Klux Klan.
01:45:35
Perhaps, perhaps a deep racist. But he didn't have the right stuff with him. so he's just like, just give me that big mask.
01:45:45
The rabbit outfit's fine. I'm so angry. Now here's the good news. There has been a film series called The Bunny Man.
01:45:59
Oh. Okay. Have you seen it? Whoa. No, I don't like this. can we read the video views review yeah it's terrible it's terrible bunny man hops onto the
01:46:19
screen as the new horror icon it's are you for real has it right there that's horrible
01:46:24
it takes place in a chuck e cheese uh yeah i watched the first 11 minutes of it oh my god
01:46:33
this afternoon. It's on Amazon Prime. Please feel free to sign up. And we'll give you our
01:46:40
password. It's a, it's a Carl Lindbergh film. And you know, when you're looking for a film,
01:46:48
what I recommend is that you look on, if you look on like INDB or the cast list,
01:46:53
and it says who played who, if none of the characters have last names, you know, you're
01:46:57
in for a treat. Because it's like Johnny and Rachel and Digby and Tex and you're just like,
01:47:04
oh no, this is not, this is not going to be good. And there was, you know that Carl Lindbergh loved
01:47:13
Texas Chainsaw Massacre because the first, literally the first eight minutes are just a
01:47:19
series of women, bloody women stumbling out of like abandoned houses and like thinking they're
01:47:25
free and then getting caught. But then it happens again to a different girl and you're like, wait,
01:47:30
was that other one back in time and this is now the present? Or did, is this just two different
01:47:35
girls that got loose? What the fuck is, whose house is that? There's no mailbox with a last
01:47:41
name. There's no last name. It was just, it was tough to follow. And do you mind if I just tell
01:47:48
you about Bunnyman? Please. There just when it gets into like the part where you like okay now we it there five people driving in a car Oh no sorry there were six because there four people in the backseat of this car You know how you do it You know Always
01:48:05
If you're going to go on a road trip, you shove four people really uncomfortably in the back.
01:48:09
And then just this big truck comes and starts ramming the back of the car for no reason.
01:48:15
And they're like, Digby, pull over. And it's just like, who would pull over when someone's trying to kill you with a truck?
01:48:23
That's not the thing to do. No, you drive away. And also, it's like a big truck.
01:48:27
You could probably get away. I mean, it was just a tercel, but still. I mean, yeah.
01:48:34
Kick two of those people out of the backseat and you're going to fly. That's right.
01:48:38
For real. Right? But you know what they do? They pull over to apologize to the truck for making him mad.
01:48:44
And one of the guys in the backseat is like, send a girl so she can act sexy and he'll forgive us.
01:48:49
I swear to God. So then they send her. Oh. You can write the rest yourself. And you should.
01:48:57
You should. Oh, honey. So this was such a hit, this film. Yeah. But then there's Bunny Man 2.
01:49:07
No. I didn't have time to watch it. I'm so sorry. One by one, they all fall down is their tagline.
01:49:16
This goes a little bit, this is, it's a little bit more Reservoir Dogs-y. It looks like it.
01:49:23
It does. It has the look and the feel and the bunny. And then, of course, there's Bunny Man Massacre.
01:49:32
They didn't call it three. They called it Massacre. There were two posters. I think this one must be the European release.
01:49:42
There he's in the tunnel. I can only read part of the quote, but I'm going to guess it says,
01:49:47
if you thought bunnies were soft and cuddly, think again. Yeah. I can fucking tell.
01:49:53
Also, yeah, there was Bunny Man 4. Also. How bad do you think it smelled in that head by then?
01:50:06
By this point? Yeah. They used the same costume for all four movies. Can we get some dry cleaning budget in this thing?
01:50:14
Gee. But here's the thing. If you have a dream, go for it. go for it one, two, three, and four times if you need to.
01:50:24
Yeah, that's a good message. Tell the story. Tell the story of your heart. It needs to be told.
01:50:30
Yeah. Okay. Here's what I love. The town of Clifton, you guys, well then you know,
01:50:40
have fully embraced this urban legend. Oh, cool. Because every year at the stroke of midnight on Halloween.
01:50:47
No. No, they have a thing called the Clifton Haunted Trail, which is a Halloween thing that they do.
01:50:53
On the website, the CliftonHauntedTrail.com, it says it's scheduled for October 27th from 7 to 10 p.m.
01:51:01
I don't know if that was 2018 or if they're so on their shit that they're already planned and completely set up for 2019.
01:51:09
But the website says eight acres filled with scary skits and spooky scenes. Doubt it.
01:51:15
You have to look at this website. There's some upsetting shit on there. One is a rabbit costume, but then the rabbit has these insane piranha fangs.
01:51:29
Like if you brought a 12-year-old there, they'd have a nervous breakdown for sure.
01:51:34
Then there was a picture. It looked like a selfie, but it was all evil clowns. Everyone's into it, it seems like.
01:51:41
They're doing it. monster movies under the moon, concession stands selling food, drinks, and other goodies.
01:51:47
Please refer to the vendor page for more information. Wear sturdy shoes. So you walk down a trail
01:51:54
that's one half mile long in the woods. And then like terrible rabbits and clowns come at you.
01:52:02
And snacks and food and drinks. See vendor page. Parking is available in town and at Clifton Elementary.
01:52:10
so you have to go park and then haul your ass down the trail, which right there I'd just be like, oh, cancel those tickets.
01:52:18
Can I bring a scooter? What are those scooters? Oh, like a lark or one of those get-around ones
01:52:25
where the person goes to the Grand Canyon? I did it. Either one. A snappy? A razzy.
01:52:35
A snazzy? A rascal. We did it. We did it as a team. No dogs allowed on the trail.
01:52:46
Oh. Your dog can't go and then just start biting the shit out of some evil rabbit.
01:52:51
Oh, right. No. If it was a good dog, it would attack. I know. And try to save you.
01:52:56
Yes. Oh, that's cute. All proceeds benefit the town of Clifton. Let's please all go to this next year.
01:53:02
We'll be there. I think it could be good. Really quick. There's a cryptozoologist named Lauren Coleman, has a blog called Crypto Mundo, and he also wrote the book Weird Virginia.
01:53:14
And in a section on the Bunny Man, he believes that this urban legend is in direct association with the Goat Man of Maryland.
01:53:26
They were friends. They were in the army together. really quick and this is definitely for another podcast but the goat man of maryland just so you
01:53:38
know is an axe wielding half animal half man creature that was once a scientist who worked
01:53:44
in the beltsville agricultural research center experimenting on goats until one experiment
01:53:50
backfired and then he was mutated into a goat man who roams the back roads of beltsville maryland attacking cars with an axe What did cars ever do to him That what goats like
01:54:05
Cars attacking cars. Yeah, goats, they're so nuts. Whoever made that up needed to pick four of those ten items.
01:54:14
You know? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to end this on an up note. I would love that. Because most of this was bullshit, and I appreciate you partying with me for it.
01:54:25
But there is one true horror story about the Lorton Prison that is historically accurate, and it's pretty interesting.
01:54:32
So in June of 1917, there's a women's suffragette movement called the Silent Sentinels.
01:54:41
Yay! Mother! Fucker! Do it! Right. Okay. So they had been protesting in front of the White House, demanding the right to vote.
01:55:00
And on November 15, 1917, they were arrested and brought to Lorton Prison. And that was referred to as the Night of Terror.
01:55:09
As these women were chained, beaten, one 74-year-old suffragette was stabbed with a broken end of her picketing banner.
01:55:17
The protest leader, Lucy Burns, was shackled with her arms over her head, stripped and left freezing in a cell.
01:55:23
Alice Paul began a hunger strike to protest the torture, so they held her down and force-fed her raw eggs through a troop that they shoved down her throat.
01:55:33
You said something about a high note that you were going to end on? Is this it? Get ready.
01:55:37
This is insane. No. The silent sentinels were tortured for two weeks in that prison and then released.
01:55:45
But, I guess this is a high note, the word of this abuse in this prison spread, and suddenly everybody started getting really fucking into the suffragette movement,
01:55:55
and two years later, in 1919, women won the right to vote. And that, kind of, is the story of the Fairfax Wonderland.
01:56:08
Wow. We did it! Woo! Another terrifying, legendary story. I believe, if I'm not mistaken, that there's a ton of axes in that story.
01:56:28
Am I right, Stephen? You just recently. Yeah. Just like the axe work is all over the place.
01:56:33
Wait, hold on one second. I can hear your dog snoring. Yes. Okay. Hold on. That's Frank.
01:56:45
He's done nothing all day. He's snoring like he's a longshoreman. I feel like we're out of sleep over laughing at the one girl who snores.
01:56:52
Wait, hold on. I'm going to put Frank's paw in some warm water. Put her bra in the freezer.
01:57:00
Okay. Okay, now we're going to do the hometown for this quilt. We're going to wrap it up.
01:57:06
And this is the hometown that got performed all the way back in 2018 in Nashville, Tennessee.
01:57:12
We ran into some babies. We did not know what was coming. Oh, whenever you hear a date, do you always think I wish I could go back and warn you?
01:57:21
Like whenever I hear a date from 2000, I'm always like, how far was that from 9-11?
01:57:25
Oh, you know what I mean? Like, oh, I wish we could all do something about it. No, there's nothing to be done.
01:57:33
Yeah. Well, the government, one could say the government could have done something beforehand, but they didn't.
01:57:39
Why is this turned? Why is this turned? Let's not do your website. Your truther website right now.
01:57:46
That's for your private life. That's my other podcast. The 9-11 truther podcast.
01:57:53
No, this actually is a very well told hometown story. Also told with a hometown accent.
01:58:00
God bless. Every time. It's better. It just makes it better. It just does. Do we
01:58:06
have time for a hometown murder? Okay, now wait. Everyone whose hand is raised right now, you're disqualified.
01:58:16
Okay, sit down. Karen has some stuff to tell you. This is really important and you have to listen.
01:58:20
Yeah. Like you haven't been this whole time. God damn it, listen, roommate. That's what me and my sister say.
01:58:27
Did I tell you that story? I was on the phone with my sister as she was teaching third grade.
01:58:34
Because she's been doing it for 30 years and she doesn't give a fuck anymore. So we're like gossiping on the phone.
01:58:40
Steven, edit that out if this goes live. Oh, yeah. She'll be super pissed. We're talking on the phone.
01:58:47
She's like, anyway, I was at this bar, and it was super gross. And then she goes, hold on.
01:58:51
Excuse me, room eight. Starts very self-righteously yelling at the children up there.
01:58:58
Room eight. How dare you? And I'm like, Laura, we've been on the phone for 10 minutes.
01:59:01
They deserve to do whatever they want at this point. I just picture them. She hadn't given them any work to do.
01:59:07
They're all just staring at her. Miss Kilgariff? Anything. We're bored. Okay, so here's the rules.
01:59:15
And please trust us. This is time-tested and mother-approved. We want it. It needs to be local.
01:59:23
Nobody gives a shit about where you grew up. Nashville. Or Tennessee. Tennessee.
01:59:28
Tennessee. I think Tennessee is good. Tennessee. We care about you in this state.
01:59:34
You can be drunk, but you can't be so drunk that you can't follow your own story.
01:59:39
Two drinks, I think, max. For me, in my drinking days, it would have been seven, but whatever.
01:59:45
It's about body mass. It's about tolerance. Are you a better storyteller when you're drunk?
01:59:51
Probably. How's your addiction normally? Yeah. I'm sober, and look what's happening.
01:59:56
I mean, it's a mess. What was the other one that was? key um don't don't make it do make it no reading thank you you guys right right yeah reading's
02:00:08
lame i feel like people know that one already uh that's it oh everyone hates you oh yes you have
02:00:15
to remember that because you got chosen everyone else hates your guts so i wouldn't come up here
02:00:20
being like at first i'm gonna give a shout out to my buddy and you're like no act like you have 30
02:00:25
seconds or everyone's about to kill you. It's the best way to tell the story anyway.
02:00:29
If you can win them over, you fucking won. Just know you are on not parole. Probation.
02:00:37
Was it probation? This is a true crime podcast. Okay. And it's my turn to pick. Can we get the lights up?
02:00:46
Yeah, lights a little bit. I hate doing this. Who are you pointing at you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you.
02:00:58
Okay. Come on up. Did you hear everyone go, oh. Oh. Oh, and then you need to go, oh, behind you, there's Vince.
02:01:06
Oh, yeah, look at Vince. Can we all tell everyone? Look at him. My, he's missing the Royal Rumble for this.
02:01:15
Yes. So we appreciate it. Oh, that's his grammy. Can you see back there? Hold that up again.
02:01:20
There's a giant eye and a giant ear. Look and listen. Shout out to that. I hold up a giant thumb to you. Hi. Oh, hi. Hi.
02:01:31
What's the name you're going to hear today? Kelly Bale. Kelly Bale? It's Kelly Bale, everybody.
02:01:38
Hi. Wow. Hi, y'all. And I want y'all to know that one of my ex-husbands. Oh, shit.
02:01:46
Yes. Yes. Uh-huh. Actually he works for the prisons and was the guy that got out like no lie he was his helper He was actually he like said something to help get him out because he a real doo head Is he
02:02:02
Just if there's any place you can say shithead, it's here. My ex-husband is a real shithead.
02:02:08
Okay. You did it. She already got, you've got them all on your side now. And my murder, it literally happened next door to where I live.
02:02:19
Whoa. Okay. This is good. But quick question. Yes, ma'am. Is there anything we need to know about John Brown or that situation that I didn't say?
02:02:28
Probably some gay stuff happened between him and my husband. I'm just kidding. Oh, shit, John.
02:02:36
I'm just kidding. It's going off. Why would he divorce me otherwise? Okay, got it.
02:02:41
Yes. I'm just kidding. Where are you from? Actually, here in Nashville. Okay. I live about three or four miles away from here.
02:02:51
Okay, great. After a party at your house. Yes, yay! Come on, I'll cook for you. Okay, so the story is that my next-door neighbors, they had a few children, of course, and their oldest son owned a bar.
02:03:07
And he was a good guy. You know, he had some issues, but whatever. We all do. We all do.
02:03:14
But he broke up a domestic violence situation. And he was very, like, he did the same thing, you know, like every,
02:03:22
so he would come over every Saturday morning and visit with his parents. Well, the guy that he had separated the fight, he didn't make a big deal out of it.
02:03:31
He just was like, get the fuck out of here. And, you know, and then he told her, he's like, you can stay here.
02:03:37
We'll buy you a drink. And she's like, okay. But anyway, and then, of course, they got back together because we all know how that works.
02:03:42
But anyway so the guy got mad and comes over and I telling y these are like the nicest people in the world He walked in and was visiting with his mother and daddy And the guy walked in and knew that he would be there
02:03:59
and shot him dead in front of his family. Next door to your house? Next door. And I'm telling you, like these people,
02:04:07
just good people. So maybe within two years, the mother and father both died. And the house is sitting empty
02:04:14
and it probably won't ever be rented. And then it was like a big deal because, And it happened about maybe 18 years ago.
02:04:20
The guy got caught. He, like, was in a car wash. And, like, the SWAT team, like, Nashville got to use their SWAT team.
02:04:30
And it was like that. Yes. Yeah. So that's the murder next door. And so now we call it the murder house.
02:04:38
Because it is the murder house. Yes, it is. How long has it been empty for? For, I would say, since 2001, it's been empty.
02:04:46
She lived on the other side of the house. That is my child. Oh, okay. That is my child.
02:04:54
What's her name, Kaylee Bell? Caitlin Bell. It's Caitlin Bell, everybody. Hi. Hi, y'all.
02:05:02
But thank you for letting me share. Absolutely. That was amazing. That was great.
02:05:07
That's how you do it. Don't hate me. I love y'all. All right. All right, guys. We've quilted it together once again.
02:05:16
We have. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for being there with spirit with us.
02:05:24
And yeah, just keep it real. We're at the beginning of the end of the quarantine.
02:05:29
Yeah. We're going to hug you soon. Just believe it. We're going to hug you. There's a hawk right outside my window.
02:05:37
Just floating on the air. That's good luck. That's good luck. Is it? Think so? I say that about everything, but yes.
02:05:45
Okay I think so I guess I should just say Frank Frank Frank you good Okay Give that dog a CPAP machine.
02:06:04
My God. Stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie?
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