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00:01:48
Do you like podcasting? Do you like podcasts and do you like podcasting? It's fun.
00:01:57
Well, welcome then. To my favorite murder, the mini-sode. Where it's basically your podcast.
00:02:02
We just tell it to you. But we make it shorter than the other one. Yeah. Because it's not about us.
00:02:07
That's right. And it's ours. And yet it's ours. So don't try to take a fucking cut.
00:02:14
Okay, here is... Too dark? I haven't... Too bad. Then you're on the wrong podcast.
00:02:20
Helping my neighbor, SSDGM. Hello, Karen, Georgia, Stephen, and Associated Pets.
00:02:25
Partly due to my true crime obsession, I like to know who my neighbors are, which cars they drive, and I always have an ear out in case anything is suspicious.
00:02:33
Okay, yes, I am also a bit nosy. I kind of love that. Yeah. I was lying in bed, right?
00:02:38
I was lying in bed watching television one night when I heard a woman screaming that didn't match the audio.
00:02:44
Sure enough, when I paused the show, the screaming continued. Oh, no. I immediately looked out my bedroom window, which overlooks the parking lot of my apartment building.
00:02:51
I recognized one of my neighbor's cars backing up while a shirtless man was holding onto the driver's door, throwing punches into the window and attempting to pull the door open.
00:03:01
I instantly opened my window and screamed, I'm calling the cops, which I think is I've yelled that at fights before.
00:03:07
Sure. The cops are coming. Just that's a good way to break shit up. Yeah, that's right.
00:03:11
And the guy took off. I got dressed as fast as humanly possible and flew downstairs, ran out and got her to get out of the car and back into the building in case he came back where we immediately called 911.
00:03:22
Turns out she had just gotten into the car and paused to turn her iPod on when out of nowhere, this guy opened her door and tried to take her seatbelt off and pull her out of the vehicle.
00:03:31
Jesus. Straight up Grand Theft Auto style. She started reversing the car in an attempt to knock him off her.
00:03:38
And that's when I yelled down. The police response was quick and they brought in dogs and a ton of cars.
00:03:43
They ended up finding the guy a few blocks north. I'm so glad I heard the scream and was able to help and look out for a fellow young woman.
00:03:49
Yeah. She was okay physically, just extremely shaken up. SSDGM, always help out when you can.
00:03:55
Keep track of your neighbors and please, please lock your door as soon as you get into your vehicle, Melissa.
00:03:59
Yes. That's such a good point, Melissa. And it's really important. Just there's no reason not to.
00:04:06
If you're in your car, home base, click. Always. done. I'd like to, I want to tell Melissa to bring a weapon with you when you go downstairs to help
00:04:14
someone. I'm serious. Like, like I have pepper spray next to the door at all times and in my
00:04:20
nightstand and in my purse and in my car. You're absolutely going to get arrested for
00:04:24
misusing that pepper spray. I mean, I just spray out of the car window when I'm driving.
00:04:29
It's really, really like the freeing and relaxing. No wonder I'm always in a bad mood on the highway.
00:04:34
Yeah, I put a Palm Patty song on real loud. Free blood. Just spraying. Free spraying.
00:04:41
Try it. It's great. Okay. Yeah. Okay. This, the subject line is Zodiac Connection and spying on the neighbors.
00:04:51
Yes. Salutations. I grew up in South San Francisco, California, about 45 minutes from Karen.
00:04:58
I, too, hate Sacramento. Oh, no. I do not hate Sacramento. i should have uh edited that out um i'm gonna i am gonna write a love letter to sacramento and
00:05:13
read it when we do our show there absolutely should uh okay i should have pre-read that my
00:05:18
mom was about 10 when the zodiac was terrorizing the bay area my mom casually mentioned one day
00:05:24
that the girl across the street was shot by the zodiac i'm sorry what my mom is not a murderino
00:05:31
and could care less about this. Oh, my God. I don't have a lot of details, but my Nino uncle told me
00:05:37
that she was shot in the stomach at UCSF and was either a freshman or a sophomore.
00:05:42
She was only in the hospital for a week and made a full recovery. Obviously, the neighborhood lost their minds.
00:05:48
Yeah. As this was the 60s and everyone was super tight. Nino said the neighborhood and the city went on fucking lockdown and no one could go anywhere he also mentioned coming home at 2 a when richard ramirez was on his sf tour to an unlocked
00:06:05
door no they knew he was in the city and they still left the front door what the fuck nana
00:06:10
and papa get it together uh since we're sharing random stories well you are since we're sharing
00:06:17
random stories i basically lived at my grandparents house growing up um and when i was little maybe
00:06:23
three or four. I heard a lot going out on outside. I peeked through the wooden plantation shutters.
00:06:28
Why were those a thing? And watch just my neighbor's son was being taken away in handcuffs
00:06:35
and tidy whities followed shortly by his brother being taken out on a gurney with,
00:06:41
and this is an all caps, a fork sticking out of his stomach. No, take the fork out between the
00:06:48
Zodiac and the crazy neighbors next door. I was destined to become a murderino. SSDGM Angie.
00:06:54
That's amazing. How hilarious is that? That was a good one. Thanks for sharing stories.
00:06:59
Yeah. It was like a compilation. Yeah. Let me just add this in. I've got a couple.
00:07:05
Okay. This one is the time my friend's elderly neighbor got arrested. And there's a photo that I think Stephen's going to pull out for us.
00:07:13
Okay. This is the story when my friend's elderly neighbor got arrested. So my friend and I grew up on Cape Cod in a town called Yarmouth.
00:07:22
They spelled it out for me. Thank you. Oh, nice. At the time, my friend's parents had just decided to move out of her childhood home and move to Florida.
00:07:30
None of the kids were living there at the time, but her youngest sister, who was in her mid-20s at the time, moved back in while her parents were figuring out what to do with the house.
00:07:39
Cape Cod has the highest per capita elderly population in the state. So her sister thought nothing of the old guy that lived next door until one day she hears some commotion outside and sees cops and a SWAT team members and such surrounding this old guy's house.
00:07:54
So naturally she goes out to investigate. I guess the cops had to tell her several times to go inside because it wasn't safe.
00:07:59
And she said something like, it's my property. I can be out here. But eventually she goes inside.
00:08:06
Don't. Don't go out there. So once the old man came out of his house and finally surrendered to the police, it turned out that this old man was no old man at all.
00:08:16
He was really a 31 year old who had been hiding from the police for four months.
00:08:20
He was wanted for drug trafficking charges. But instead of leaving town, he decided to wear a movie grade old man mask and stay in town.
00:08:29
No way. I'm not sure how the cops figured out it was him. Maybe someone ratted him out or something.
00:08:34
But it actually wound up being national news, which we all thought was hilarious.
00:08:37
After all this, this now semi-famous picture, see below, of this mugshot next to a photo of him wearing the old guy mask, was his Facebook profile picture for a while.
00:08:50
Let me see. Holy, no, he looks like a troll from Troll Movie. It's now an important part of the local folklore.
00:09:02
Stay sexy and trust no one, not even your elderly neighbors, Kara. this guy looks like he was on gilligan's island and it's like gilligan's island old man makeup
00:09:10
yes it's not good it's um he looks proud of himself it's nice of her to say movie grade
00:09:16
um but it's insulting to movie makeup artists too i mean you know what it is is i bet you he
00:09:24
he that's a false nose for sure yeah and i bet you he like looked at something online yeah yeah
00:09:30
It looks like him as an old man for sure, though. Yeah, it's not. It's not a great job.
00:09:36
He probably downloaded his picture into a like Benjamin style app where it's like, what would you look like?
00:09:41
Super old. And then did some kind of makeup thing on that. How do you kind of fun to like walk around town like as an old man and people treat you differently?
00:09:50
Probably. That's right. It's like a real Tyra Banks in the fat suit social experiment.
00:09:56
That's right. Hi, Georgia and Karen. I hope you all are ready for a story because this is the one I always break out during icebreakers.
00:10:05
We like you. Hi, we like you. Constant icebreaker life. Hi, you're one of us. Hi.
00:10:10
I live in the South, specifically in a town where everybody knows each other. A simple trip to the grocery store usually lasts a few hours because you run into everyone you know.
00:10:18
Oh, I love it. It's the best. You're lucky. Southern people. Back when I was in high school, I lived with my grandma.
00:10:24
She was injured in a car accident that we were both in a few years ago and my father passed away.
00:10:28
And after my father passed away, I decided to move in with her to help out. We had a neighbor whom my siblings and I adored because he had gorgeous horses.
00:10:36
Oh, the context. It really is. Really. Every day after school, my sister and I would always go to feed his horses apples.
00:10:44
He would always ask about our grandma and even help her out. On various occasions, he would come over and help her install things or with tasks that I could not help her out with while I was at school.
00:10:54
One night in October, my grandmother had to go down the road for work, so I was home alone.
00:10:58
I went into the kitchen to get a snack, and I saw a massive fire in his yard. There was a glass sliding door in our kitchen, so I could see his house 24-7.
00:11:07
I didn't really think anything about it, because he always had been so kind to our family,
00:11:11
and I just assumed he was having a bonfire or burning some cardboard he needed to get rid of.
00:11:15
The next day while I'm eating dinner, I see five police cars swerve into his yard with their sirens blazing.
00:11:22
Oh my God. What if their sirens were on fire? They light him up and drive down the street on fire.
00:11:31
They were blazing fire with sound blaring is the word you're looking for. And they then proceed to burst into his house and bring him out in handcuffs.
00:11:39
My grandmother and I were beyond confused. And when we asked for information, the police refused to say anything.
00:11:44
Turns out the night I thought he was having a bonfire he had killed his wife and was burning her body and the evidence Oh my God Mm So our friendly neighbor for so many years turned out to be a murderer and my grandmother and I were in shock for months Holy shit Thanks for listening y and never trust your neighbors Jacob
00:12:04
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00:14:18
Okay, this one's called SSDGM'd and maybe broke up a marriage. Uh-oh. Greetings. I went to college at the University of Virginia in Charlottesville from 2002 to 2006,
00:14:31
years before the town was known only for white nationalism and having, quote, very good people on both sides.
00:14:36
Oh, no. When I was there, we weren't that worried about white nationalism, but we were very worried about a serial rapist who had been assaulting young women in Charlottesville since 1997.
00:14:47
Oh, shit. Wow. Every female student at UVA was very aware of the serial rapist. The police visited our dorms and told us to be vigilant.
00:14:54
And there was a, quote, safe ride program set up to help students avoid walking alone.
00:14:59
I, of course, ignored all this advice. So one night after a football game, I decided to walk to a party alone.
00:15:05
I nearly jumped out of my skin when the carefully manicured shrubs lining the street I was walking on began shaking.
00:15:11
I quickened my pace, but the shaking continued and then I heard a low, loud moan.
00:15:17
This moan was followed by another, more angry groan, and then a large man lurched out of the bushes directly in my path.
00:15:24
I was prepared to defend myself and even began to assume some type of karate style stance that felt natural but probably looked ridiculous.
00:15:32
But instead of attacking me, the man simply collapsed onto the sidewalk at my feet.
00:15:36
His cell phone and wallet spilled out of his coat, and that's when I had the chance to analyze his attire.
00:15:41
Wrinkled Oxford shirt, dirty khakis, UVA baseball cap. This was not the serial rapist, but a very drunk UVA alum.
00:15:48
It was pretty common for former students to come back, attend football games, and try to party like they used to.
00:15:54
He was very, very hammered, had scrapes all over his face, a huge gash on his forearm.
00:16:00
He stood up and I was about to offer him help when he began to hit on me to the extent that
00:16:04
he possibly could in his condition. Didn't take long for my fear to transition to anger, especially when I saw his wedding ring.
00:16:10
Oh. I reached down and picked up his wallet, planning on taking whatever cash I found to pay for
00:16:15
a cab to the party. This was years before Uber. There was no cash, but I did find a hotel key card.
00:16:21
I looked at the name on the driver's license. Let's say it was Tom Smith. called the hotel phone number on the back of the key card and asked to be connected with the room registered to Tom Smith.
00:16:30
When a woman, presumably his wife, answered, I asked, hi, are you missing your husband?
00:16:36
And she emphatically responded, yes. I told her where he was. Well, he seriously began to cry and say, please don't call my wife, please.
00:16:46
And then vomited on the sidewalk. it's amazing it's so great i assume she came and picked him up yeah little did i know i had no
00:16:59
reason to be scared of random dudes in the bushes because the following year the serial rapist was
00:17:04
arrested and i had already encountered him many many times he worked at the deli at a local
00:17:10
grocery store a harris teeter yep i had frequently asked him to cut my smoked turkey super thin
00:17:16
Thinner. I had made him redo it lots of times, maybe weekly. What? I like sandwiches.
00:17:23
That's what she said. Defend yourself, girl. He was a married father of four, and his MO was stalking women for weeks, learning their
00:17:31
travel patterns, and then breaking into their homes when they were gone and hiding for hours
00:17:35
until they came home. Fuck. He would then surprise them, usually bludgeon them unconscious, assault them, and flee.
00:17:40
He was finally caught when one badass lady who had been assaulted noticed the guy behind
00:17:45
the deli counter, looked familiar, and was acting super weird towards her. Do I still eat cold cuts Yes I do But I never walk alone at night Wow Stay sexy and never trust a man with a cleaver Ricky That is I feel like that why we all are interested in these stories in the first place
00:18:02
Because it isn't a man hiding in the bushes. I mean, in that way of what you decide to fear versus what is to be feared.
00:18:10
Right. Like, watch out for guys hiding in bushes. But also watch out for... But it's that thing where it's those people hide in plain sight in that real vague, bland way.
00:18:21
Where you're like, oh, that's the guy I was bossing around at the grocery store.
00:18:24
Yeah, I didn't think twice about him. That's a crazy story. Such an amazing story.
00:18:29
It goes this way. It goes that way. It goes all the ways. The drunk guy, though, really had a full cycle life experience just in standing with that girl.
00:18:40
You know what I mean? Hitting on her. Throwing up. crying his wife being called and also almost being robbed but he didn't carry cash sorry i'm
00:18:50
assuming that it's a woman it is ricky with k ricky okay because ricky the the idea of looking
00:18:56
looking into his wallet to get the information and taking care of business was a very generous
00:19:00
thing for her to do it was very kind to a very drunk person and and also smart so smart then you
00:19:07
and also then you just have that person's name so then they try to come at you in any way it's like
00:19:11
back the fuck up Tom Smith. Right. That seems like one of those things where like later you're like,
00:19:15
I wish I had done this. I should have done that. She fucking did it. She did it all real time.
00:19:19
Good job. Ricky. Ricky. And the flash. Okay. The subject line of this is FBI raid at my neighbor's house
00:19:25
two weeks ago. Oh my God. Hi all. My name's Claudia and I am a 16 year old listener.
00:19:30
Claudia. Go to bed. Hi Claudia. Hi Claudia. I love Taylor Swift too. I have always been interested
00:19:36
in true crime and while listening to this podcast wished I had a hometown murder
00:19:40
I could share. that all changed two weeks ago when my neighbors had their house raided by the fbi holy shit that
00:19:46
all changed okay i live in raleigh north carolina a typical sub in a typical suburban neighborhood
00:19:52
two streets down from me is the most expensive house in raleigh the houses in my neighborhood
00:19:56
are very modest and nothing fancy so this mansion is out of place being at the end of the street
00:20:01
with old dirty townhomes here's the story an older russian couple couple lived in the mansion with
00:20:08
their also Russian housekeeper, housekeeper's husband and son. The wife was having an affair with the housekeeper's son.
00:20:15
Oh my God. The husband found out and hired a hit man to have the son be kidnapped, taken into the
00:20:24
woods, forced to admit he was having sex with the wife on video and then be killed.
00:20:30
Holy shit. There's a lot of other info that isn't important, but basically the murder plot never went through.
00:20:35
The FBI found out and raided the house. And the couple got busted for money laundering and a ton of other charges.
00:20:41
My dad also told me that they had an apartment downtown filled with guns. Filled with guns.
00:20:49
Like a little pied-a-terre downtown. Yeah. Sorry if this doesn't make sense. My neighborhood is...
00:20:54
It was perfectly written. It was perfectly... Honey, I know 16, you're always doubting yourself.
00:21:00
You nailed it. That was perfect. My neighborhood is full of other crazy white people like the cute young couple everyone
00:21:06
loved who were busted for having a secret 12 year old daughter locked in the basement that they had
00:21:11
been physically and mentally abusing for years holy shit she buried the lead she went rushing
00:21:17
first when this is the fucking oh my god yeah my next door neighbor's car has also been broken into
00:21:23
three times while everyone was sleeping so maybe it's time to move please don't move away without
00:21:28
your parents um claudia don't do it love the podcast and sorry this email was so long i have
00:21:34
other fun ghost stories that I will send in a separate email if you're interested.
00:21:37
We are. Stay sexy and move out of your country club neighborhood, Claudia. I love it.
00:21:42
Amazing. You can come stay at the pod office if you want. That's right. Okay. That was great.
00:21:47
16-year-olds, send us your stories. We want to hear from you. That's right. And go to bed.
00:21:52
No, go to bed. Send us your story, my favorite murder at Gmail. It's lunchtime for us.
00:21:58
Stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie? Running a business shouldn't feel like surviving a software group project.
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