00:00:00
This is exactly right. Isn't some far off concept? It's already here. Next starts now.
00:00:33
Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. When a charming neurosurgeon rode into Frontier Town
00:00:39
selling a persona of confidence and care, patients trusted him. He wore cowboy boots in the operating room
00:00:45
and became sought after by patients. He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies.
00:00:51
This is a story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice. Listen to Dr. Death the Cowboy wherever you get your podcasts
00:00:58
or binge the entire series right now only with Audible. Goodbye. The best parts of summer aren't just places,
00:01:05
they're feelings. It's the scent of fresh ocean air, sun-warmed skin, and long evenings outside.
00:01:11
Pura's new summer collection is designed to capture those fleeting moments and make them last.
00:01:16
Restore your sense of place with clean premium fragrances you control from your phone.
00:01:21
Bring the feeling of summer home. Discover the collection at Pura.com. Goodbye. Goodbye.
00:01:28
My favorite murder me the same outfit I've worn every day for five years in Georgia brand new vintage dress
00:02:02
well then sign up for the fan call one of the many things you get to have can you see
00:02:06
I have a I haven't I have a little shiner why did Vince hit you right in the face I know it's so
00:02:14
okay Moses got his claw stuck under my eye no and it left a bruise I swear it was immense you can
00:02:23
see there's a little scratch too to prove it jesus are you okay it was the scariest thing i had i had
00:02:29
this dress on and i had this cute vintage brooch that i now know is haunted because he got so scared
00:02:34
of it he fucking flew in the air got his claw stuck in my face i had to like cry him out of it
00:02:41
and i it was it's i have a fucking shiner that's crazy i mean i can see it and this is zoom which
00:02:49
I don't have a ton of makeup on. Not great. Yeah. Really nice makeup, by the way.
00:02:53
Thank you. Was your brooch shaped like a cucumber? No, I do. Cats hate cucumbers.
00:02:59
Yeah. I mean, you see those videos? Oh, they lose their minds. Yeah. They go straight up in the air.
00:03:04
Yeah. I had a cucumber brooch on. What is what was the brooch? It's just a beautiful old timey, you know, like jeweled thing like I like to wear.
00:03:16
And clearly it's haunted because he got so scared of it. And he's not like that.
00:03:20
Spirits. Spirits. That's crazy. Of whoever I got it from an estate sale from is clearly haunting it.
00:03:27
I thought you said of liver. And then I was like, what? Liver what? Liver feast from Fancy Feast?
00:03:33
That's right. Do you know that my sister, this is how long ago we went to grammar school.
00:03:38
My sister in kindergarten brought our cat Taffy to the pet parade at school. And of course, the second Taffy Taffy with no nothing but her collar on like no way to control a cat saw a dog and scratched my sister directly under her eye directly.
00:03:57
Like she could have half an inch away from losing her eye. She had that scar for a long time.
00:04:03
It took a while to go away. But it was just like thinking we've talked about this.
00:04:08
I know. Yeah. But I just it's mind blowing to be like, oh, kindergartners, five years old.
00:04:13
Bring all your pets to school. Totally. That you're now responsible for whatever happens. Are they going to bite another kid? Don't matter.
00:04:21
This was not when parents went to school and stood behind their children all day long, which is how they do it now.
00:04:27
But this is also when like you didn't sue if your dog bit a kid. It was like, well, the kid shouldn't have been near.
00:04:33
Vince had a dog and he's apologetic for this name now, but it was named Christopher Columbus.
00:04:37
and this little girl was walking through the yard and the dog was out there and she put her face up
00:04:44
to the dog and the dog like bit the end of her nose and it was like well you shouldn't have put
00:04:47
your face in the dogs it was no like that dog is aggressive to children no no well and also back
00:04:55
then it would be like unless the child herself can argue right why she would have some kind of
00:05:00
a case right or anything that would be the only exchange it's just like what the adult yells at
00:05:06
you as you run away crying. Well, you shouldn't be bleeding so much. Yeah. Don't bleed for
00:05:11
attention, please. I think I do have a story of old timey things. Okay, let's do let's do
00:05:18
hometowns. Want to? You don't want to just chitchat? I'd love to just chitchat. But you're
00:05:23
right. We should get down to biz. I'm a little lonely. Yeah, that's what animals pets are for
00:05:28
and getting your fucking face scratched. Okay, do you want to go first? I want me to go first.
00:05:31
You can go first. Okay. This is called, in 1956, my dad witnessed a murder. Oh, God.
00:05:38
Hi, friends. To answer your call for hometown stories, I wanted to share one of my dads.
00:05:43
When I told him I wanted to send this story in, he was really nervous. You'll see why.
00:05:48
But I assured him no one listened to this podcast, so it would be fine. Lied to your parents How would he know How would he know Right My dad is now almost 80 and grew up in Buffalo New York in the section of the city that was home to a massive population of Italian immigrants my family being one of them
00:06:06
He describes it as being lower middle class neighborhoods, just families trying to make
00:06:10
a better life for themselves in America and doing their best. My grandparents owned a small grocery store, which was subject to local mafia laws.
00:06:18
Oh. Like everyone in the neighborhood, the local mafioso would come to my grandparents for
00:06:23
a weekly money collection in exchange for what? I don't know. Protection. Watch the Sopranos.
00:06:30
Protection. As such, my dad and everyone in the neighborhood were familiar with these men and
00:06:35
justifiably afraid of them. When my dad was around 14, so 1956-ish, he was out around 1 a.m. smoking
00:06:42
a cigarette with a buddy to end their night before heading to their respective homes. While they were
00:06:47
chatting they hear grunting and yelling and turn to see a man getting stabbed repeatedly under a
00:06:53
street lamp oh no i know as they're watching in horror the murderer turns to my dad and his friend
00:07:00
and says butch jimmy go home that's right mid-murder the man calls my dad by his name
00:07:07
my dad says they knew immediately that the man was local mafia why are we naming names on here well it's a long time ago and he's dead bleep bleep my dad and his
00:07:20
friend each ran home my dad said he ran into his parents room which he makes a point to say he was
00:07:25
never allowed in ever to wake up his dad that's how serious it was freaking out he tells my
00:07:32
grandfather that he just saw stab a man to death my grandfather reached his hand from under the bed
00:07:39
covers, grabbed my dad's lips and squeezed them shut. He then let go, turned over and went back
00:07:47
to sleep. That's right. Loose lips, sinks, ships and families. The next day, my dad asked his friend
00:07:55
if he told his parents and what they said. His friend said when he told his father he saw
00:07:59
kill a man, his father said, no, you didn't. No, you didn't. Watch Jimmy. No, you didn't. Yeah. I mean, this is 1956. This is horrible.
00:08:09
Apparently, that was the one and only time my dad and his friend ever spoke about the incident to each other or anyone else.
00:08:16
Years later, my dad was a Marine serving in Naples, Italy. He received a letter from his mother that only contained a news clipping.
00:08:23
The headline read that had been murdered in prison by another inmate. My dad said he almost cried tears.
00:08:30
He was so relieved. I'm hoping he was in prison for the murder he committed that they saw.
00:08:35
But who knows? stay sexy and don't get murdered especially you too because I really
00:08:40
love the pod all the best see god there was a lot of murder in that email yeah it's what we asked for and I feel like
00:08:48
true but once an episode we gotta have something dang I mean the trauma of being a child
00:08:56
witnessing something that horrifying and then everybody being zipped the lip yeah
00:09:01
like go against what you the morals that you learn like you're that's not supposed to happen and it's like well shut up about it well and also
00:09:10
you know if you live in a it where the mafia rules there is no option no there is no it's
00:09:19
just like a bronx tale it is like a bronx tale beautiful movie beautiful movie love that movie
00:09:24
yeah me too the subject line of this email licking your finger very delicately and
00:09:30
Karen's now a secretary from the 1950s. I'm playing a character for that. Fan call.
00:09:37
Oh, yeah. For the video. Yeah. If you want to see how that looked, watch the fan call video.
00:09:42
Watch. It was amazing. It was. I drew from all of my college theater classes. You mean theater.
00:09:49
I mean theater. OK. The subject line is guess who's coming to dinner. A serial killer.
00:09:54
Oh, fuck. Karen, Georgia and MDM fam. what's mdm fam got the wrong letters in there oh no mdm mdm might be a drug the kids do these days
00:10:09
that's us and i hear it exactly right network we we force people to take drugs the old mdm fam
00:10:18
when i was around seven my older sisters and i stayed with our grandma in a suburb of albuquerque
00:10:24
while my mom was constantly out of town working. Well, my grandma was a bit naive to the ways of teens,
00:10:30
and my sisters took full advantage. This included, but wasn't limited to, sneaking pot seeds into her garden
00:10:35
and her growing beautiful huge pot plants, only to have her burn them when she found out what they were.
00:10:43
Oh, my God. As such, we constantly had people in and out of the house doing typical early 80s drinking and smoking.
00:10:49
And as big sisters do, they would have me put on early SNL skits for them and their friends, Rosanna, Rosanna, Dana, Rosanne, Rosanna, Dana being their fave.
00:10:58
So back to the nefarious part. One day, my sister brought home a stray guy, Sonny, to hang out.
00:11:05
No one blinked an eye except for me. His creepy Coke bottle glasses and his older age set my inner Charlie's Angels radar off
00:11:12
and I avoided him. He ended up staying a few nights at our house, eating with us, watching TV, sleeping, day
00:11:20
to day stuff until one morning after a few days he was gone to my relief fast forward a week later
00:11:27
and i walked in on my middle sister on the phone my mom grandma and oldest sister huddled around
00:11:32
her she was on the phone talking to the police about sunny turns out he had murdered his wife
00:11:39
with a hammer put her in a trash bag and tried to burn her body he then befriended my sister at
00:11:46
some suburb party after he befriended she killed killed the wife before he came and stayed yeah
00:11:54
with a bunch of women he then befriended my sister at some suburb party and unbeknownst to her came to our house to lay low on intentionally basically Shit And then it says this is where my love of true crime began
00:12:09
And the story ends. Or does it? I found out Sonny had previously been Marion Albert Pruitt, who in 1979 was given $800, a new name, Charles Sonny Pearson, and placed in the federal witness protection program after testifying about a murder in Atlanta.
00:12:27
When he was caught a few months after hiding out at our house, he admitted to killing four other people, but denied killing his wife, Pamela Sue Barker, a.k.a. Michelle Lynn Pearson, because she had also been in witness protection.
00:12:41
Eventually, he was executed by lethal injection in Arkansas in 1999. So long story short, not only did we have a slumber party with a killer, we had a witness protected serial killer casually living with us.
00:12:55
Holy fuck. Well, stay sexy and only perform SNL skits for family. No name. God. I mean, this is a murder up chock full of murder.
00:13:07
MDM all the way, baby. MDM. What podcast is that? Because that's like it's multi-level marketing, but for true crime where you have to have at least three crimes within email.
00:13:18
Wow. That's right. That is hardcore. It's intense. More than a brush. Yeah. All right.
00:13:25
This is called and this one just gives me chills. The one where the garage door almost killed me.
00:13:31
Oh, yeah. One of these. Hi, all. I was a child. It was the 80s. I could stop here for the story's sake.
00:13:38
I will continue. Uh huh. I was five, my sister was eight, and my mom entrusted us to a babysitter who half cared about watching us and mostly cared about watching TV.
00:13:48
We were playing outside, and after a while of running around and playing silly games, we decided to play Dodge.
00:13:55
Dodge ball, you ask? No. We started to play Dodge the garage door. My sister would press the garage door button.
00:14:05
She's eight, the sister. As she was the only one tall enough to do so. and we would run toward the closing door and slide underneath to the outside i remember playing this
00:14:16
at a friend's house we lived in a condo so we only had a what are those called uh the ones that
00:14:22
pull down no no we had the parking um oh like a overhang yeah we didn't have a garage so i
00:14:29
definitely played this at friends houses and i feel like living in a condo complex probably saved
00:14:33
my brother's life from doing this for sure you know carport carport sorry i had no i'm
00:14:40
So you gave me you gave me a gift that we would then run inside the front door, go around to do it all over again.
00:14:48
The exhilaration we felt as we Indiana Jones our way under the door was impalpable.
00:14:54
It's palpable. Palpable. It's not in. It means you can feel it. Palpable. I knew that.
00:14:59
Yeah. The closer to the ground it got, the more accomplished we felt. My sister hit the button and we waited for the gap to become challenging enough for our superior skills before we made a break for it.
00:15:10
fuck. This is how it goes. The children's games, they start innocent enough. They start kind of
00:15:15
easy, but then they have to progress. Right. Right. You have to get hurt at the end. Like
00:15:20
children's games have to end in crying because it's daring and risk and like you're being a baby
00:15:26
if you don't do it. Right. You know, my sister made it through. I did not. I don't. This is
00:15:32
terrifying. I don't remember if I slipped or if it was because my little feet were just not fast
00:15:36
enough. But when I was halfway through, I became lodged under the door. I screamed for help as it
00:15:41
continued to close on me until I could not yell anymore because of the pressure. I could not take
00:15:47
a deep breath to call for anyone. And then I couldn't breathe at all. I felt the door on my
00:15:51
back bearing down. Not being able to breathe when you're desperately trying to do so is terrifying.
00:15:57
And I feel like it's cases like this. You can't have a garage door that just doesn't have a sensor
00:16:01
anymore. Yeah, I'm sure that's why. Right. Little kids fucking around Indiana Jones
00:16:07
style. In the 70s and 80s. Yeah. And maybe the 90s. My sister was watching outside in horror. Just
00:16:13
when I started to think, I'm really in trouble here, I felt the pressure lift. I
00:16:17
wiggled my way out and turned around to see my babysitter standing in the doorway from the house to the garage, mouth
00:16:23
open and eyes wide. Girl, you would have been fucked. Babysitter. Or not. Babysitter was sitting
00:16:31
in front of like guiding light and then got just got a bad feeling. It was like, it's been too long.
00:16:37
It's quiet and weird. Yeah. What was that scream? She must have heard my screams before they were
00:16:42
muffled by almost being squeezed to death. And during a commercial break, came and pressed the
00:16:47
button to lift the garage door off of me. Oh my God. That's hilarious. I now shudder to think what
00:16:54
could have happened if she did not hear me. Fast forward to today, my husband was installing our
00:16:59
own garage door and asked if we needed the sensors that stopped the door from closing
00:17:02
when something is in the way. Yes. Yes, we do. Yes, we do. And there's no sign off and
00:17:08
no name. Oh, my God. I know. I know. That's from our new series. They lived. Hold on one
00:17:16
second. Let me blow my nose on my dress. The eight year old that lived. And there she is,
00:17:22
ladies and gentlemen. There she is. There's the queen of the cocktail party. The classy
00:17:26
lady we all know in the vintage dress with probably snot on it what we're gonna need to
00:17:32
send you a box of kleenex there's one right over there in the other room i just don't want to get
00:17:36
up i i got kleenex all why didn't i put one in here why don't i put one where i record and need
00:17:42
a kleenex every fucking week every time every time um leave that all right steven i'm not ashamed of
00:17:48
myself yeah because you're not ashamed and you know what good content is that's right after six
00:17:54
years here we go this is the subject line of this is badass warrior queen And it just starts Hi team Y are so great Strong work And then a hard emoji
00:18:08
Oh, thank you, teacher. Strong work is really probably the best compliment you can get.
00:18:14
Absolutely. I think. I moved from my hometown, Sitka, Alaska, to Natchez, Mississippi in 2019, where my husband
00:18:22
and I adopted two wonderful and crazy dogs, Goose and Maverick. I take my pups on a walk around my neighborhood every day, and we typically take the same
00:18:30
route. In June, I got to visit home for a couple weeks for the first time in two years, thanks
00:18:36
COVID, and had an absolutely magical time seeing my family and friends. When we got back to Natchez, I resumed my normal routine and took Goose and Mav on a walk.
00:18:55
There's a very nice man I always say hi to when I walk by his house. And this time when he saw me, he had the most relieved look on his face and said, thank God.
00:19:03
turns out while i was in sitka a woman was attacked while jogging on the same route me and
00:19:08
my dogs take a man got out of his truck and asked her for directions when she stopped to help him
00:19:14
he pulled a gun on her and told her if you run or scream i'm going to kill you he grabbed her and
00:19:19
dragged her to his truck and started to hit her in the head with his pistol causing six deep
00:19:24
lacerations on the back of her head the woman saw duct tape and zip ties in the truck and this
00:19:29
badass warrior queen fought this monster off. She kicked, punched, and bit her way free. They caught
00:19:36
the guy. He returned to visit the crime scene the next day and they arrested him. Holy fuck.
00:19:44
The man I greet on my walks thought I was the woman who was attacked because he hadn't seen me
00:19:49
walking in a couple of weeks while I was in Sitka. He told me he was so relieved to see me,
00:19:55
which is just so nice to know that sometimes even strangers care about you. stop I'm crying I know I often think about that woman and how strong and incredible she is I can't
00:20:05
imagine how terrifying that would be and that she was able to use that fear to fight her way free
00:20:09
if I ever find myself in a situation like that I hope I can harness the same warrior energy
00:20:15
I can't be sure I wouldn't just freeze up in terror but I know that this podcast helps make
00:20:19
me feel more prepared to handle bad situations like a badass oh stay sexy and always remember
00:20:26
it's okay to tell someone to fuck off if they ask you for direction teal she her i feel like i'm
00:20:33
gonna cry a little bit i know that one's beautiful yeah well because teal is actually shouting out a
00:20:39
survivor which we always love and is the coolest but also here's what i really like because yes
00:20:46
it's funny to end it that way but what i think is really beautiful is this woman is part of her
00:20:51
community in her neighborhood and so she's not saying fear every person around you don't say
00:20:57
hello to whatever she knows that man who who kept an eye out for her yeah somebody was keeping it
00:21:03
out for her it's good to make those connections in your community yeah but if some person giving
00:21:08
you bad vibes is just driving by wants you to come over to their truck you can tell them to
00:21:13
fuck right off and you can absolutely tell them and you bite and scratch and you fight fucking
00:21:17
dirty and you do what you got to do to not get in that car because that's that's yes you know
00:21:24
I think maybe because I've been walking cookie ever since I got an adorable puppy who wants to
00:21:29
meet every single person and now people know us in my neighborhood and I know who we wave at each
00:21:34
and it just feels really it's like my first place my first real neighborhood where I own a home and
00:21:38
it's yeah it just kind of there's like a couple people that we're really good acquaintances with
00:21:42
which is the best way exactly neighbors wise that's the best way but also it's good that's
00:21:48
the power of community it's like you should be saying hi to people and have people know you and
00:21:53
that's like we're the ones in the garage drinking beer all the time she's the one pinned under the
00:21:59
garage door drunk with a beer can in her hand what's up i got a paps i'm fine what's up we're
00:22:05
playing the game indiana jones this podcast is brought to you by squarespace it's 2026 and if
00:22:11
you have an alternative career like food photography or professional mixtape making or
00:22:16
witchcraft, you're going to need an online presence. Whatever your thing is, Squarespace
00:22:20
helps you build a website that's as unique as you are. Squarespace provides you everything you need
00:22:25
to offer services and get paid all in one place. From consultations to events and experiences,
00:22:30
you can showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your
00:22:35
business. Get paid on time with professional invoices and online payments. Plus, streamline
00:22:39
your workflow with built-in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. With Squarespace's
00:22:44
collection of cutting-edge design tools, anyone can build a beautiful professional online presence
00:22:48
that perfectly fits their brand or business. Head to squarespace.com slash murder for a free trial.
00:22:53
And when you're ready to launch, use offer code murder to save 10% off your first purchase of a
00:22:57
website or domain. Goodbye. Summer clothes should feel easy and still look polished.
00:23:04
Low maintenance, high reward. That's how we live our lives. For summer clothes you will actually
00:23:08
wear, there's Quince. Quince has beautiful everyday pieces like 100% European linen pants,
00:23:14
dresses, and toffs with styles starting at $32. Their denim is soft and easy to wear,
00:23:18
and their organic cotton sweaters are perfect for layering on cool summer nights. Everything
00:23:22
at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands because they work directly with ethical
00:23:27
factories, so you're paying for quality, not brand markup. And it's not just clothing. Quince has
00:23:32
become a destination for elevated essentials across the home, kitchen, bedding, and beyond,
00:23:37
making it easy to bring a more premium feel into everyday life. I am a fan of quince.
00:23:42
Yeah, Karen's wardrobe is quince. I'm a lazy basics person. And the things that I get from them, I always go, oh yeah, now I'm wearing these.
00:23:51
They work, they're cute, they're stylish. And they're classy. Like it doesn't look lazy, it looks classy.
00:23:57
And it's so affordable. Yeah. Elevate your summer world. wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash MFM for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.
00:24:06
Now available in Canada too. That's quince.com slash MFM for free shipping and 365 day returns.
00:24:13
Quince.com slash MFM. Goodbye. When you're young, you don't really buy furniture. You either inherit
00:24:19
something from your parents or you just drag something in from the street like you're some
00:24:24
kind of hipster raccoon. When you're ready for furniture that you actually like, check out Article.
00:24:29
Article offers the style and durability you want at a price that actually makes sense.
00:24:33
They take great care in curating their collection, focusing on pieces that stand the test of time.
00:24:38
There's no filler. Every item is chosen for craftsmanship, design, and lasting value.
00:24:43
And with Article's 30-day satisfaction guarantee, you can shop with confidence, knowing that if you're not completely in love with your new furniture, you can easily return it.
00:24:51
Plus, Article's customer care team is available seven days a week, offering knowledgeable support and even free interior design services
00:24:57
to help you get your home just right. Yes, please. Don't we all kind of need that?
00:25:02
Like the eye of an expert? Yeah. Where should I put this? And also what should I move here and there?
00:25:06
And what should I even get? But Article has it all, so you can get whatever there.
00:25:10
That's right. You could be like, I have this thing. Should I get this one or that one?
00:25:13
Totally. Am I Scandi or am I mid-century? Help me be boho chic, please. If you're in the market for a beautiful new sofa,
00:25:19
dining table, or bed, head over to article.com. Goodbye. Here's my last one. It's called snake turned lizard.
00:25:29
Dear Karen, Georgia, Stephen and associates. Hope you are all doing well. The following story is one that my mother has sworn my entire family to secrecy.
00:25:38
However, I believe you will appreciate it. And well, that takes priority. Sorry.
00:25:43
Sorry, mom. Oh, sorry, mom. My youngest brother has always loved snakes. Unlike myself, who has always had what my family considers to be, quote, an overly dramatic fear of them.
00:25:55
there's no such thing as being overly dramatic with fucking fear of snakes i'm sorry
00:26:00
fucking families man nothing like your family to just minimize those feelings come on go to
00:26:08
go to therapy after years of begging and much to my chagrin my parents agreed to let him get a small
00:26:13
snake after meticulously going through the pros and cons of each snake at the pet store he proudly
00:26:19
chose a small corn snake which he named griffin with me hiding downstairs my parents and youngest
00:26:25
brother brought Griffin home and helped settle him into his new living arrangements in my
00:26:30
brother's room. About five hours later, my brother came running downstairs upset saying Griffin is
00:26:36
gone. Just same day. Yeah, five hours. Immediate results. Children. Now just some backstory. The
00:26:44
same brother had done the exact same thing once before with his fish. He had been convinced that
00:26:48
he had seen the fish jump out of the tank and begin flopping down our upstairs hallway We We searched for hours hoping to find the fish before its dead odors stank up our house before my brother realized it had just been hiding under some plants in the tank So keep imagine this whole fucking adventure that this fish never had
00:27:07
Pretty sure I saw the fish leave. No you didn't Bobby. You have a great imagination. Shut the
00:27:13
fuck up. So now with this boy cried wolf situation you can understand why none of us jumped up
00:27:19
right away to help. However, he kept persisting until my mother finally gave in and went upstairs
00:27:24
to see what was going on. She came immediately back down and said, he's not kidding. It's really
00:27:30
gone. What ensued was a frantic search and rescue mission around the entire house. Like Karen and
00:27:37
Nick Terry's beautifully illustrated video of the snake sinkhole story. I sealed myself in my room
00:27:42
and quote hated everything nice callback um we never found it and have no idea where it went
00:27:51
what when i say that i did not sleep well for weeks after this i am not exaggerating
00:27:56
my mom made us all promise never to tell this story to a soul because she was afraid that none
00:28:01
of our friends and family would step foot in our house again which i'm like great i'm telling people
00:28:06
that there's a snake loose in my fucking house and no one will come over again um soon after the
00:28:11
great escape, my parents got my brother a lizard. This was partially due to the fact he was very
00:28:17
upset, but mainly to cover up the fact that people knew of the new pet, Griffin, and with it suddenly
00:28:22
gone, there would be questions. Oh, yeah. My parents forced him to name the lizard Griffin.
00:28:29
So when it came up in conversation, there was continuity. What? I feel like you just make up as you go along being a parent. You know what I mean?
00:28:39
entirely and also what those parents were worried about it's so hilarious it's like we can't have
00:28:46
the neighbors thinking that there's a loose snake which is like i probably eight out of ten children
00:28:52
that get pets like that those kinds of pets disappear within the house at some point or
00:28:58
die immediately yeah we need these stories you guys please this all happened about 10 years ago
00:29:03
into this day no one outside of my household has any knowledge of it but don't worry no one listens
00:29:08
to this podcast. We're going wide with this. I figured the statute of limitations was
00:29:12
overdue here and wanted to hopefully bring a smile to your lovely faces. Stay sexy and try not to lose your snake.
00:29:19
Em. Yeah. Good advice. Send us your stories that are not allowed to be told, you guys. We will not.
00:29:26
We will keep it in this little MDM family. No one will fucking know but us. Only the MDMers.
00:29:32
This is a safe space to tell on your family. I also feel like Em got what they call phobia
00:29:41
immersion therapy. Right. With this snake, just like could be anywhere. Good night. Good night. Night, night.
00:29:48
Go to bed You live in the basement Okay Here my last one Subject line I going to only read half of it Embarrassing checks Hi MFM fam They must mean an MDM fam Karen recent story about
00:30:01
Simpson's checks unlocked a memory that I had repressed for reasons you will learn. I grew up
00:30:07
in a very rural area of Nebraska, and I was a quote unquote, slightly effeminate child. And then
00:30:13
in parentheses, it says, read flaming homosexual who wanted nothing more than to take ballet
00:30:19
class with my female classmates. After being denied my proclivities for dance at a young age, I waited for a chance to express
00:30:27
my softer side. The opportunity arose when I was given the freedom to select the background for my checks
00:30:33
for my very first checkbook at the ripe age of 13. And then there's some dashes and it says, do teenagers still get checkbooks?
00:30:42
No. No, Grandpa. No one has checkbooks anymore. I was so thrilled to be able to choose the background image for my checks. A variety pack of kittens, little kittens playing with yarn and cuddling and piles of kitty delight. These were the backgrounds that I felt fully expressed my newfound financial independence. I didn't have a ton of uses for checks as a high schooler. So my 200 pack of kitty checks lasted throughout college.
00:31:09
I love it so much. You stand at the pizza place. Could I write you a check for some quarters for the businessman machine?
00:31:17
Please let me get rid of these fucking checks. Please. Pizza place. He was always on like 007 in that check pack.
00:31:25
My bank's mascot is a bear. So when I graduated to another set of checkbooks, a wildlife scene of bears anointed my next
00:31:32
book of checks. This also feels fitting as I evolved from a kitty obsession to a newfound identity as a bear in the gay community.
00:31:42
Congratulations. Thank you, Bank of the West, for allowing this little country boy to express his sexual interest through checks.
00:31:51
Beautiful. It's beautiful. Much love to the MFM family for keeping me sane through the quarantine.
00:31:58
I'm moving to Denmark next week and I will bring my true crime obsession to the Danes.
00:32:02
XOXO Joshua. Joshua, congratulations on becoming you. Just a beautifully written email
00:32:10
all about your journey. We are here for it. We are. So hilarious. In the middle of Nebraska, where
00:32:18
14 people live, he's just like, check these checks out. Yeah, he'll take whatever he can get as far
00:32:24
as just being able to show him his real self a teeny tiny bit. Just a hint. Hey, speaking of a hint, this is your hint
00:32:32
to join the fan cult because we're about to record a mini mini sode for the fan cult and also this
00:32:37
video and a million more videos are all still up there and it's cheap and it's fun at the end and
00:32:43
it fun and and there more extras every day yep soon we have our own checks Could you imagine My favorite murder check Bring checks back
00:32:54
Thank you. Write in at my favorite murder Gmail. Thank you guys so much for listening.
00:32:58
We're big fans of yours. MDM fam. Yes, we are. Yeah. MDM forever. Stay sexy. Don't get murdered.
00:33:04
Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie? This has been an Exactly Right production.
00:33:13
Our producer is Hannah Kyle Crichton. Associate producer, Alejandra Keck. Engineer and mixer, Stephen.
00:33:20
Ray Morris. Researchers, Jay Elias and Haley Gray. Send us your hometowns and your fucking hoorays at myfavoritemurder at gmail.com.
00:33:28
And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and Twitter at My Fave Murder.
00:33:34
And for more information about this podcast, our live shows, merch, or to join the fan cult, go to myfavoritemurder.com.
00:33:41
Rate, review, and subscribe. Cheap Caribbean Summer Savings Event is here. Right now, get $100 instant savings on vacation packages to Cancun, Jamaica, and the Dominican Republic.
00:33:55
Whether you're chasing poolside drinks, white sand beaches, or endless all-inclusive fun,
00:34:00
Cheap Caribbean helps you get more beach for less money. Book your summer vacay today at CheapCaribbean.com.
00:34:06
Goodbye. Clothes shopping, not as easy or fun as it sounds. You just want to feel confident in your clothes.
00:34:13
You can spend hours scrolling, zooming in, reading reviews, only to end up with a cart full of nothing that feels or fits right and a bunch of returns to do.
00:34:21
Stitch Fix makes it so much easier. A personal stylist sends pieces that match your size, style, and everything's in your budget.
00:34:28
No guesswork, no stress, and your guaranteed compliments. Here's how Stitch Fix works.
00:34:32
Take a quick style quiz, share your size, style, and budget, and get matched with a real human stylist who gets your vibe.
00:34:39
It's no risk. All style. Get a personalized fix box straight to your door and try it all on in the comfort of your home.
00:34:45
Shipping and returns are always free and there's no subscription required. Plus, get a free try-on for your first fix.
00:34:51
Get started today at stitchfix.com slash murder to get $20 off your first order.
00:34:56
That's stitchfix.com slash murder. Goodbye. There's always a point in the day when your feet decide they've had enough.
00:35:03
Luckily, there's Reef. You may know Reef for their ridiculously comfortable sandals, but they aren't stopping there.
00:35:09
The women's Neptune has everything you could ever want in a sneaker. The Neptune is a lightweight, everyday slip-on shoe with a crushed back heel,
00:35:16
so you can wear it traditionally or step on the heel and wear it like a slide. Lightweight, breathable, and easy to wear.
00:35:22
The Neptune is the everyday shoe your feet have been waiting for. The Neptune makes me so freaking happy because my whole life I've been yelled at for crushing the heel of my foot
00:35:30
because I want every shoe to be a slide, every shoe. And they actually make them that way, and it makes me so happy.
00:35:36
Plus, they're super comfortable, they're light, and they're really cute. So check out the Neptune on Reef.com and redeem 15% off your first purchase.
00:35:44
Goodbye.