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MFM Minisode 265

February 07, 2022 /

This mini-sode of My Favorite Murder features stories about a SWAT team and a 10-inch dildo, a grandpa wrangling an owl, and a haunted retail location.

Jessica shares a story about her childhood in Texas, where her family's rental property was raided by a SWAT team due to her neighbor's boyfriend smuggling drugs. The story takes a humorous turn when they later discover a large pink dildo left behind.

Aaron recounts his grandpa's bravery when he caught a giant owl that had entered their home, showcasing his resilience and adventurous spirit.

Sam describes his experiences working at a haunted retail store built over an animatronic restaurant, detailing eerie occurrences like phantom rainstorms and strange noises.

Lauren shares a childhood story about her mom inadvertently allowing her to fall out of a VW bus on the freeway, highlighting the chaos of family life in the 70s.

TLDR

This episode features wild stories about a SWAT raid, a giant owl, a haunted store, and a childhood mishap on the freeway.

Episode

24:49
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00:02:21
Hello. Hello. Hello and welcome to my favorite murder. The mini-sode. It's mini.
00:02:28
It's the one where we read you your emails. You know, at this point in your life.
00:02:34
And if you just got here, what we just said is what's about to happen. It's pretty easy.
00:02:39
Do you want to go first? Sure. I will go first. I'm going to do it. Okay. All right.
00:02:46
This one's called, what did the SWAT team and a 10-inch dildo have in common? Hmm.
00:02:50
Right off the bat. Starting hard and heavy. Shock and awe? The shock of them. Hi, y'all.
00:02:56
Hope everyone is doing dandy. I'm a sophomore in college, and I've been listening to your podcast since I was 16.
00:03:03
Oh, it's the only one I listen to, and I absolutely love it. Well, thanks. I know.
00:03:09
Thank you. I'm an only child, so listening to y'all is like getting to have the older sisters I always wanted.
00:03:15
Now, let's get into the story. When I grew up, I lived in Texas. Not Republicans, I promise.
00:03:21
My parents loved to flip houses and would often rent them out to tenants after the remodel.
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The house next door to the one I grew up in was purchased by my family and split into an upstairs unit and a downstairs unit.
00:03:33
Because both houses shared a yard, we always became good friends with our renters next door.
00:03:38
Adorable. The upstairs unit housed a woman that I called Princess Shannon because every morning she would brush her long, beautiful brunette hair out on the balcony.
00:03:48
And I thought it made her magical. what is up shannon shannon's living her best life she really is all of this happened over the summer
00:03:59
during my seventh grade year where horrid neon chevron prints were all the rage as well as those
00:04:04
weird clip art mustaches no offense steven clip art mustaches remember before like getting them
00:04:10
tattooed on their fingers yeah they were a part of our lives yeah they were hot princess shannon
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had a boyfriend that lived with her but was always out of town on business trips because he said he
00:04:20
had meetings in Dallas with big money corporations. They were both run-of-the-mill people and very
00:04:27
sweet anytime we chatted or ate a big outdoor dinner together. So it was to my dad's surprise
00:04:32
when he got back home from dropping me off at drill team practice to see the SWAT team swarming
00:04:38
our property. My dad raced up to the nearest officer and frantically asked what was going on
00:04:43
and explained that he was the landlord. Apparently those business meetings Shannon's boyfriend had
00:04:49
been taking were actually trips to the Texas border and then to New Mexico, smuggling drugs
00:04:55
into the U.S. My dad gobsmacked beyond belief, watched as the boyfriend was escorted from the
00:05:01
premises and to the squad car next to where my dad stood with the officer. My dad recounts that
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the boyfriend turned to him in cuffs, shrugged and said, sorry about this, Fred. We're not sure
00:05:13
if Shannon knew or not, but she promptly moved out after this ordeal. And wait, there's more.
00:05:18
My parents didn't tell me this fact until just a few months ago because they deemed me old enough.
00:05:23
And I was like, finally, I can tell the girls something juicy. That's us. When my parents were checking over the empty unit after she had gone, they found, and I kid you not, a 10 inch double ended sparkly pink dildo.
00:05:37
Whoa. And then there's seven or eight exclamation marks. For some people, that would only be three exclamation marks.
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We're not trying to kink shame anybody. No, but you know, Texas. So like, you know, everything's bigger in Texas.
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That's right. And pinker and more sparkly. My father much to my mother horror recounted to me the girthiness of it and wondered why she would leave it behind Maybe it was actually the boyfriends Who knows
00:06:05
My mom saged the entire unit before accepting new applicants to rent. And we've had great tenants ever since.
00:06:11
Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the story. Anytime my cat, Calcifer, hears Elvis's meow, he always perks up.
00:06:18
So I like to think that they're cat friends now. So stay sexy and take your double-lended dildo when you're moving out, even if you are a drug mule.
00:06:26
Love, Jessica. Yeah, you're right, Jessica. Great advice. It really is. It's truly great advice.
00:06:36
Also, it's that kind of thing. What was her name? Princess Shannon. Princess Shannon.
00:06:42
Princess Shannon contains multitudes. She's not just a hairbrusher princess on the balcony.
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She also has a very active and very, you know, seemingly satisfying sex life. Yeah.
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Good for her. Go for it. Go for it. Shannon, wishing you well wherever you are. Yes.
00:06:59
High five all around. Okay. This one gives it away. Okay. But I think in a good way because it's just kind of what it is.
00:07:07
The time my badass grandpa wrangled a giant owl. Hello. I don't want my intro to disappoint, so I'll just get started.
00:07:18
You did it. You did it. People feel intense pressure about the intros. We want to alleviate that from you.
00:07:24
Yeah. We love them all. We do. You can send them in even if you can't think of one.
00:07:28
Absolutely. In fact, that is a really good writing tip. The hardest part is to get started.
00:07:33
So let the beginning be bad and then get into it. You can always either go back later or don't and say, hey, hey, you guys aren't paying me.
00:07:42
Here's your dumb intro. That's what I would have said. Okay. anyhow. Or as my friend Lydia used to say, hey, you didn't pay for it. Give me half.
00:07:52
Right? I love it. Good rule. About 10 years ago, my grandparents, Michael and Sally were sleeping
00:07:58
when they were woken up by a very loud thumping sound coming from the bathroom. Instead of calling the police, my almost 90 year old grandpa decided to investigate.
00:08:09
Yes, he did. He walked down the hallway into their bathroom, turned on the lights to discover
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a very large owl repeatedly crashing itself into the bathroom mirror. Oh, no. An owl.
00:08:22
An owl. They're such magical, like, you know, distant creatures to have one in the bathroom.
00:08:29
Yeah. Without even hesitating, my grandpa grabbed a bath towel and threw it over the owl.
00:08:34
He managed to wrestle the owl and grab it, talons and all. Instead of walking over to his bedroom balcony and letting it go, he carried this owl through
00:08:43
the bedroom, down the hall, down a large staircase, and let it out through the front door. We figured
00:08:48
that somehow the owl had managed to make its way down the chimney, fly through the living room,
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go upstairs, down the hall, and into my grandparents' bedroom, then the bathroom. On the ceiling above
00:09:00
the staircase was a soot outline of the owl, and you could see a full owl outline with the wings
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outstretched. The wingspan of this owl was about seven feet long. Holy shit. I can't even picture how large owls get. Yeah.
00:09:16
I wonder if owls are considered raptors. Seven feet long is longer than Vince. Yes, that's how I can do it in my mind.
00:09:24
If Vince laid down, this bird would have like a foot on him, roughly. Yeah. Or half. Okay. We still to this day do not know how my grandpa managed to do all this on his own
00:09:34
without getting a scratch on him. Dude, grandpas. Right? My grandpa will be turning 97 in April.
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He survived the Holocaust, a massive brain injury, and is still one of the most outgoing,
00:09:47
positive, and kind people I have ever known. On a side note, I was listening to your mini-sode
00:09:53
about someone's badass grandparent burying their bike from the Nazis. After surviving the Holocaust,
00:09:59
my grandpa went back to his old backyard, pushed a cow out of the way, and dug up all his family's jewelry and money that he too had buried from the Nazis because
00:10:09
fuck them. Oh my God. Right? That's so rad. That's so rad. Sorry for the long email and thank you for all you do.
00:10:18
Stay sexy and don't underestimate your badass grandparents, Aaron. Yes, Aaron, please give your grandpa a hug this birthday.
00:10:27
he sounds like a total ass kicker of the highest order old people know how to handle shit
00:10:36
they've been through shit they've been through shit well we've been through shit too
00:10:40
but they don't this man he survived the holocaust and owl is nothing to that man
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it's nothing this is just one more problem he has to deal with throughout the day
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right before he can go back to bed he's tired from all his life he's complicated. I just love it. I just love it. What a victory. Totally. Okay. All right. This is
00:11:05
called Haunted by Possibly an Animatronic Moose. Oh, hello, wonderful people. I work at an
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undisclosed retail location that was built over the remains of a shuttered animatronic family
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restaurant. Think Rainforest Cafe meets Chuck E. Cheese, but with a Canadian theme and a moose
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mascot. Is that Bullwinkle? I think Bullwinkle is American. That's true. I think. Yeah. When I
00:11:30
started working at this job, we joked a lot about how all the weird stuff we encountered there was
00:11:35
due to the ghost of the animatronic moose that used to live on the site. Over the years, though,
00:11:41
it stopped being a joke. And we started to believe we actually had a ghost. It's gotten to the point
00:11:46
where our store being haunted is the more sensible option. Though we're not exactly sure who's
00:11:52
haunting us It changed from a joke to us taking it seriously during an overnight shift a few years ago It was just me and one other employee trying to get stuff done with no customers to bother us We began to hear footsteps coming from the roof and assumed it was just the roof expanding and crumpling
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as I've been told roofs do. That old, the house is settling excuse. The roof is breathing like a lung.
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Don't worry. You know how roofs do. Sure. It sounds exactly the same as when an AC repairman is walking around up there.
00:12:24
After we started feeling watched around the store, continued hearing strange noises, and were further freaked out by a sudden violent rainstorm that battered the outside of the building.
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And then we got outside to leave and discovered that not only was the parking lot dry as a desert, but no one else we knew had experienced any sort of rainstorm or windstorm that night.
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What? A little while later after that, I named the ghost Frederick and then changed it to Friendric to ensure he was a friendly ghost and not a scary one.
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Yeah, that'll do it. This did not stop the ghost from further activity. And slowly everyone in the store began to believe it.
00:13:04
After the phantom rainstorm, we encountered large truck carts that slid uphill with no one pushing them.
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Heard men's voices coming from the truck during unloads when I was the only man in the store.
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Saw a single light swinging back and forth in the stock room like someone was riding on it.
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I got video of it. None of the other lights are moving at all. We need that video.
00:13:29
Yeah. We heard someone playing the guitar in the break room when only one employee was in there.
00:13:33
We heard women whispering in the aisles when we were closed, saw a binder fly off the shelf and land three feet away.
00:13:41
Heard things being tossed in the stock room when no one was in there. Heard our own voices speaking back to us on the phones.
00:13:50
Oh, my God. Your own fucking voice. Hello? Hello, Karen. You're scared right now because this place is haunted.
00:13:59
Hey, it's me, Karen. Karen. Okay. Talk to you later, Karen. Go stock the toilet paper.
00:14:08
Pretty much all electronics in the store fail in bizarre ways. There are things our corporate resource center has been trying to fix for years to no avail.
00:14:16
And we just generally seem cursed for a whole host of reasons I won't bore you with.
00:14:20
I will note that we've had several technicians come to fix things in the store, failed to be able to figure out where wires led to because they go into walls and then quote unquote disappear.
00:14:30
And then technicians give up saying, I've never seen anything like this before. We obviously say goodnight to Frendrick every night when we leave.
00:14:40
The freakiest encounter happened a few months ago during an overnight. We heard a woman scream at two o'clock in the morning when there was only two of us in the store.
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We were in separate but adjoining rooms. The scream came from the hall connecting them.
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We both thought it was the other person. We even tried to replicate it by screaming from our prior positions to see if it made the same sound.
00:15:01
And it did not at all. We have no idea what it was. I've tried going through local archives and graveyards to find Frendrick's identity.
00:15:11
There was a recent murder on the other side of the mall and a horrific car accident on the road leading up to our store.
00:15:17
I could not find any account of someone dying at the Moose restaurant we were built on top of.
00:15:22
It's like getting built on top of a fucking graveyard. I mean, what was the Moose restaurant built on top of is what I want to know.
00:15:29
Ding, ding, ding, ding. What about? It's always been there. It's been there since the beginning.
00:15:34
Yeah. Fuck. And nothing was on the site before the Moose restaurant, except for a large parcel of land owned by a local religious group.
00:15:43
I can find absolutely zero records for this religious group's farmland, except that it existed prior to the 1950s.
00:15:51
so being a murderino I'm obviously thinking it's a cult yeah also I've not been able to figure out
00:15:59
what happened to the animatronic moose but did find out the adjoining mall once had an animatronic
00:16:04
circus as an exhibition it's got to be them thank you guys for all that you do I've been listening
00:16:09
since episode 20 or so and more than half of our store's full-time staff are also full-time
00:16:15
murderinos we talk all week about the stories you guys bring us oh and then it says toodaloo
00:16:21
Sam Goldberg. Sam, what an epic, first of all, an epic email. And yes, now I would love some questions answered.
00:16:35
Yeah. We need photos of the vintage Moose restaurant. Wires that don't go anywhere.
00:16:41
I mean, what? Absolutely not. The hell? What the hell? Please. Someone do something.
00:16:48
Someone. Scream. Just start screaming. Yeah. Okay. The subject line of this is why you need to wear a seatbelt, a 70s survival story.
00:16:58
Hi, Karen, Georgia, Stephen and pets. I thought I sent this in before, but I can't find it in my
00:17:03
sent mail. So I'll try it again. My mom grew up in the 70s in Southern California. Her dad,
00:17:09
my grandpa, Bruce died before I was born. But I've grown up with stories about all the ways he fixed,
00:17:14
built and jerry rigged things around the house to make them work, quote unquote, better.
00:17:19
One of these things was the family VW bus. He took out all the back seats and put in a mattress and set up some sort of dividing wall behind the driver and the passenger seats.
00:17:33
This sounds sexy, but it really was just so the kids could bounce around wildly in the back and the parents could ride up front in peace without having to hear or see them.
00:17:42
Oh, my God. Right. And apparently it worked a little too well. This story starts with my grandma, Marianne
00:17:50
Needing to pick up some papers What those papers were She has never been clear She and her friend piled my 4 mom Tricia And her eight sister Trina and the friend kids in the back of the outfitted VW bus and went on their way on
00:18:06
the Los Angeles freeway. A short time later, Trina poked her head through the divider and said,
00:18:12
Trisha's gone on the freeway. Can you imagine? Oh my God. Apparently the back door had not been
00:18:21
closed tight. So when the kids were about, so when the kids, imagine, I mean, it's like when
00:18:32
you said, mom, the bed's on fire. Yeah. And, and it's so much. And, and actually it's funny that
00:18:38
that's the comparison because listen to this. Apparently the back door had not been closed
00:18:44
tight. So when the kids were bouncing around seatbeltless on the mattress, the door flew
00:18:48
open and my mom bounced right out. And my grandma, apparently unable to make sense of the news that
00:18:54
her youngest was no longer in the car, just kept driving. Can I suggest that the papers they were
00:19:02
going to get were rolling papers because they were stoned as fuck. To that bone. Yeah. Meanwhile,
00:19:09
my mom had landed right in between the lanes and was relatively unharmed. No. Traffic around her
00:19:16
slowed and people just drove around the toddler on the freeway. Toddler? Oh, I was like hoping eight or nine at least.
00:19:24
No, no. She's the four-year-old. She's four. That's right. A good Samaritan stopped and ran into traffic to pick her up and carry her to the side of
00:19:32
the road. Like, yeah, I'm sorry, but this is the definition of Los Angeles. People being like, honk, honk, four-year-old, get out of the way.
00:19:41
I'm on my way to a meeting. Get out of the way, toddler. my grandma exited the freeway and looped back around and found my mom with the quote nice fellow
00:19:51
as she always refers to him oh my god my grandma's never been able to live this story down between the
00:19:57
fact that she kept driving and then that she still picked up the papers before taking my mom to the
00:20:03
hospital no and here's the quote well i needed to ask directions she always says yeah yeah yeah
00:20:11
Yeah, it's called a gas station. It's called pull over at a gas station. Yeah, it's called figure this out, please.
00:20:15
Yeah. My mom was a little scraped up, but altogether fine. This is now everyone's favorite story to tell once someone new meets the family.
00:20:23
Yeah. Thanks for creating an amazing show and community where I've met all my best friends.
00:20:28
Oh, that makes me want to start crying. Stay sexy and wear your seatbelt, Lauren.
00:20:35
Oh, no, don't wear your seat. Don't tell a four year old to wear your seatbelt. Tell the fucking parents.
00:20:40
We always have to say this shit. It's not the kids fault that they didn't have a fucking seatbelt.
00:20:44
It is not the kids fault. Oh my God. That there was, it was basically a converted VW bus made for something unsafe to happen.
00:20:53
Yeah. It's converted to a death mobile. Truly. All right. Wow. That was, oh my God.
00:21:00
Right. Was it Trisha's not here? Trisha's gone. What was it? Yes. Wait, wait, wait.
00:21:06
Trisha's gone. Trisha's gone. Trisha's gone. Trisha's gone. Mom. Stop it, you. Enough already. We're trying to listen to the radio.
00:21:15
Fibs. Tom Petty's on or whatever. Okay. Hey, everyone. It's Cal Penn. I'm the host of Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club.
00:21:30
This week on the podcast, I'm sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook Project Hail Mary, massive sci-fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone very far from Earth.
00:21:46
I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections.
00:21:54
And it's like, okay, yo, yo, yo, is this indulgent? And I really thought about it.
00:21:57
I was like, no, at this point, it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it.
00:22:06
But there's places in this book that deeply emotionally affected me. And I left it on the mic.
00:22:12
That's great. Because it served the story. People will say like, oh, my God, I cried at the end.
00:22:17
It's like, yeah, dude, me too. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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00:22:57
Bro, from the show last night to this drive, why is it never chill? Because this is our life.
00:23:02
Backstage, on the road, it's loud, messy, real. And that's the best part. Whole crew, no plan, just moving.
00:23:10
Good thing Nissan builds for that kind of chaos. Not just test tracks, real life scenes.
00:23:15
Late nights, road trips, all of it. That's why it holds up. Nissan was ranked number one in initial quality among mainstream brands by J.D. Power.
00:23:24
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00:23:35
Awards based on 2025 model year, newer models may be shown. This is called Mom Spills on My Virginity, or Does She?
00:23:44
I grew up in a tiny town in mid-Ohio, cornfields and dairy farms everywhere, and future farmers of America reign supreme.
00:23:54
On a spring afternoon of my junior year, 1995, Gen X are here. date, let's call him Dan, stopped by my house to pick me up to go tuck shopping. Before we left,
00:24:05
he made small talk with my mom and dad. My friends would love to chat with my mom and hear her talk
00:24:11
as she was British. Mid-Ohio British accents is like the top. It's the best. Somehow we got around
00:24:20
to talking about a story in our local newspaper about some strange findings by the local police
00:24:24
in the nearby woods and fields. There appear to have been some small animal sacrifices and general
00:24:31
mischief about. My date piped up that he had heard that there was speculation about Satanists.
00:24:36
There were a lot of urban legends of Satanism in the 80s. My date went on to say that in extreme
00:24:41
cases, rather than sacrifice animals, they would sacrifice humans, specifically blonde-haired
00:24:47
virgins. Immediately, my mom piped up, insert British accent. Oh, Jan, thank God you're safe.
00:24:57
There was an awkward pause when my date raised his eyebrows at me. Mom, I said, as I felt my face turn 15 shades of red.
00:25:06
To which she replied, Oh, bloody hell, your hair, your hair. She's safe because she has brown hair.
00:25:13
needless to say i was mortified and we made an awkward departure for tuck shopping
00:25:19
oy vey stay sexy and don't let your british mom spill the beans about your virginity to your prom
00:25:25
date janet is her name janet her name's janet oh that's real good well you're safe then well
00:25:36
You're safe, you slut. Mom come on Oh bloody hell Bloody hell Okay this last one Grandparents in a sinkhole Hello Stephen Karen Georgia et al
00:25:50
I am listening a few months behind and had a sudden realization that I have a grandparents plus sinkhole story that I can't believe I haven't thought to share.
00:26:00
Whoa. Right? My grandparents, William and Mary, or better known as Bill and Midge.
00:26:06
That's adorable. It's so good. moved my mom and her siblings into a new house on a nice estate in Sutton Coldfield, just outside
00:26:14
Birmingham, UK in the 50s. My granddad wrote his autobiography down before he died, and when I was
00:26:21
reading it, I came upon a crazy story. My mom and granddad would often garden in the front of the
00:26:26
house, particularly when my mom was small, and she would help plant vegetables and flowers.
00:26:32
One day, my grandma was looking out the front window of the house and realized that the entire
00:26:36
front garden was missing. It collapsed in on itself. It turns out that when the builders were
00:26:45
constructing this new estate, they didn't bother filling in an old well properly that had existed
00:26:51
in the exact spot my grandma was now staring at. If my mom or any one of the family had been in
00:26:57
the garden, they would have dropped a terrifying distance down and might not have made it.
00:27:03
Oh my God. As it was the fifties, I'm not sure much was done in the way of compensation or legal restitution,
00:27:09
but it makes for a good family story. Lots of love to you all from afar. Sarah in London.
00:27:16
Bloody hell. That makes me think of, um, when we went to, and I, I want to say this happened in Manchester but I could be wrong And it happened in London But someone gave me tea towels that they had made of their parents standing in front of a sinkhole that had made it into one of the newspapers
00:27:37
I still use them. I use them every day. I love that. They're in full. I mean, they're tea towels, but I use them as dish towels.
00:27:45
They're in my full rotation. How much do you love that? And would you ever have thought that part of your persona would be sinkholes?
00:27:52
like in your love of singles it really suits me it does you know what i mean yeah drama i like
00:27:58
drama and i like things going below collapse i like collapsing in on itself yes suits can we
00:28:07
have your stories about singles and collapsings and fucking grandparents the grandparent stories
00:28:14
are always a plus always so good and your haunted stories too please or anything whatever you think
00:28:20
is good. Give it to us. What you say, give it to us right away. And also stay sexy. And don't get
00:28:28
murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie? This has been an Exactly Right production.
00:28:38
Our producer is Hannah Kyle Crichton. Associate producer, Alejandra Keck. Engineer and mixer,
00:28:44
Stephen. Ray Morris. Researchers, Jay Elias and Haley Gray. Send us your hometowns and your fucking
00:28:50
hoorays at myfavoritemurder at gmail.com And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at myfavoritemurder
00:28:56
and Twitter at myfavemurder And for more information about this podcast, our live shows, merch
00:29:02
or to join the fan cult, go to myfavoritemurder.com Rate review and subscribe Hey everyone it Cal Penn I inviting you to join the Subscribe
00:29:36
on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Paramount Plus is now the home of all your BET favorites.
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Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

  • 70
    Funniest
  • 60
    Most shocking
  • 60
    Most unserious (in a good way)

Episode Highlights

  • Hero Bread: Delicious and Healthy
    Discover macro-friendly bread options that taste great without the guilt.
    “What if I told you there are macro friendly options that don't taste like sawdust and sadness?”
    @ 00m 40s
    February 07, 2022
  • A Badass Grandpa's Owl Encounter
    An elderly man bravely captures an owl in his bathroom, showcasing his adventurous spirit.
    “Without even hesitating, my grandpa grabbed a bath towel and threw it over the owl.”
    @ 08m 34s
    February 07, 2022
  • The Haunted Retail Store
    Employees at a retail store believe they are haunted by the ghost of an animatronic moose.
    “After the phantom rainstorm, we encountered large truck carts that slid uphill with no one pushing them.”
    @ 13m 04s
    February 07, 2022
  • A Wild VW Bus Adventure
    A family trip goes awry when a child bounces out of a VW bus on the freeway.
    “Apparently the back door had not been closed tight.”
    @ 18m 44s
    February 07, 2022
  • A Shocking Discovery
    A young girl's life takes a turn when her mom accidentally leaves her on the freeway.
    “Trisha's gone.”
    @ 21m 07s
    February 07, 2022
  • Mom Spills on My Virginity
    An awkward moment during a date leads to a mortifying revelation about virginity.
    “You're safe, you slut.”
    @ 25m 36s
    February 07, 2022
  • Grandparents and the Sinkhole
    A family story reveals a near-disastrous event involving a sinkhole.
    “If my mom or any one of the family had been in the garden, they would have dropped...”
    @ 26m 57s
    February 07, 2022

Episode Quotes

  • Oh my God.
    MFM Minisode 265
  • Old people know how to handle shit, they've been through shit.
    MFM Minisode 265
  • Your own fucking voice.
    MFM Minisode 265
  • Truly, it was converted to a death mobile.
    MFM Minisode 265
  • Oh, bloody hell, your hair, your hair.
    MFM Minisode 265
  • Bloody hell.
    MFM Minisode 265

Key Moments

  • Hero Bread00:40
  • Badass Grandpa08:34
  • Haunted Store13:04
  • VW Bus Incident18:44
  • Trisha's Gone21:07
  • Awkward Date25:01
  • Family Sinkhole Story26:01
  • Humorous Realization27:18

Tension Over Time

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown