00:00:00
This is exactly right. Isn't some far off concept? It's already here. Next starts now.
00:00:33
Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. If audiobooks are your thing, or if you've been meaning to listen to more of them,
00:00:40
you should check out a podcast called Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club, hosted by Cal Penn.
00:00:46
Each episode spotlights standout audiobooks on Audible across all kinds of genres.
00:00:51
Sci-fi, comedy, romance, thrillers, and more. With Cal talking to guests who help break down what makes each story worth listening to.
00:00:57
It's a fun, easy way to discover your next great audiobook. Check out Earsay on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:01:06
Goodbye! The best parts of summer aren't just places. They're feelings. It's the scent of fresh ocean air, sun-warmed skin, and long evenings outside.
00:01:15
Pure's new summer collection is designed to capture those fleeting moments and make them last.
00:01:20
Restore your sense of place with clean, premium fragrances you control from your phone.
00:01:24
Bring the feeling of summer home. home. Discover the collection at Pura.com. Goodbye.
00:01:47
Hello. And welcome to My Favorite Murder. The Minisode. We read you a story, a quickie that
00:01:55
you wrote us. Thank you. Amazing personal stories from amazing personal people. That's right.
00:02:03
That's our tagline. That's our motto here on the mini side. Always has been. Always has been.
00:02:08
Always has been since day one. Do you want me to go first? Sure. I'll kick it off. The subject line
00:02:13
of this email is Pearl Smith and the $3 Deweys. Last month, I went to a wedding in Portland, Maine.
00:02:18
I was hanging out with some of the other wedding guests, but our group grew too large for the
00:02:23
current establishment seat, so the bride suggested that we head over to $3 Dewey's.
00:02:28
One of them mentioned that this bar was on an episode of Forensic Files. Uh-oh. Eee.
00:02:33
That's like me seeing a celebrity. What? Where? I went from being pretty indifferent to where we went next to an extremely interested in
00:02:41
$3 Dewey's. I had to know what episode. The episode is season six, episode two, Missing Pearl.
00:02:48
I'm sure both of you and most, if not all of your listeners, have seen this episode,
00:02:52
but I'll give you a brief summary. Pearl Smith went missing in 1991 after an argument with her husband, Bill Bruns.
00:02:59
At first, police treated it as a routine missing persons case until they found a trail of blood leading to the basement.
00:03:05
An initial search did not locate the body, but subsequent searches found Pearl's body
00:03:10
wrapped in plastic and buried in the basement. When they found her body, Bill was upstairs eating spaghetti.
00:03:17
The smell of decomposition was overwhelming when the body was unearthed. But when told he was under arrest, he asked the officers if he could finish his dinner.
00:03:26
So where does the $3 Deweys come into play? Supposedly after the argument, before Pearl disappeared,
00:03:32
she went to $3 Deweys and the bar footage in Forensic Files is this bar. We did try to go there when I was in Portland,
00:03:39
but they were packed and our group couldn't get in. But the Pearl Smith murder isn't the only thing I learned about $3 Deweys that day.
00:03:46
Rumor has it that the bar used to be a brothel that offered $1 lookies, $2 touchies and $3 deweys. Oh my God. You guys are amazing. And I never get tired of your podcast,
00:04:00
whether you're sharing murder stories or just chatting about whatever. It's always entertaining.
00:04:06
SSDGM LT. Oh my God. $3 deweys. I thought dewey was a DUI. Oh, a dewey. That's hilarious.
00:04:16
So I was like, okay, that adds up with a bar. I immediately imagined it to be like a Mickey's Big Mouth style can of beer or a bottle of beer.
00:04:26
There's, yeah, $3 for a Dewey. Yeah, but there's something about the Dewey, like it's got grain alcohol in it or something that makes it special.
00:04:35
What if it was for a Dewar's? $3 for a non-alcoholic beer. Oh my God, just sale top shelf brown liquor.
00:04:42
Yeah. I feel like that, it's the classiest bar in town. It is. That's just so awful.
00:04:47
You know, those forensic files where it's just like, you're watching it and it feels run of the mill.
00:04:52
Yeah. Right? You're just like, doesn't this always happen? A husband kills his wife.
00:04:56
But it's like, I think that's part of it is just like, for that man, it was one of the things he did in his day.
00:05:03
That's how totally fucked up that guy is, where you sit there and watch it and they're just like,
00:05:09
yep, another husband kills his wife. Yeah. And he wants to finish dinner before he goes away to prison.
00:05:14
for... Let's make it weird again. Yeah. Let's make murder weird. Not okay and not run-of-the-mill.
00:05:22
I mean, don't murder someone interestingly. Just let's not make it so fucking normal.
00:05:26
Let's stop fucking murdering people. Yeah, exactly. It's not the answer. If it was the answer,
00:05:31
we would all be okay by this point. It's not the answer. No. This is called Disney Behind the Scenes Secrets.
00:05:38
My chance? Question mark? Yes. G-K-S et al. I originally sent this after a live show in Anaheim where G spoke about Disneyland.
00:05:49
Maybe it's my chance? Note, please keep me anon. I don't want the Disney mafia going after me.
00:05:55
I worked as a quote friend of a character a yes I wore those costumes in all of the heat at Disney World in Florida for my high school years
00:06:06
It was a pretty fun job as we worked as characters for only about 20 minutes in the summer
00:06:11
and then had the rest of the hour off and were the only department on property that had mandatory hour breaks
00:06:16
as we were sweating our asses off. Yeah. We had lots of fun. There were many relationships and friendships made.
00:06:23
Aladdin and Peter Pan dated one summer. Dot, dot, dot. Yes! Make it happen. Anywho, Disney World isn't technically in Orlando.
00:06:32
When the WDW company bought the land, they set up their own, quote, town known as Reedy Creek.
00:06:39
This means that Disney property in Florida is not in Orlando and therefore not always subject to the same laws that Orlando is.
00:06:47
Oh. One of the most scary things that I heard, and granted, never was confirmed,
00:06:51
was that no one has ever, and I've heard this too, that no one has ever been or ever will be declared dead on Disney property.
00:06:59
There are paramedics from both Reedy Creek and Orlando that service the park, but every report of anyone in an, quote,
00:07:06
incident on property was always declared dead off property. Some say that Disney mandates
00:07:12
that paramedics must continue to try to revive someone until they have left property
00:07:17
and immediately declare them dead when they cross the line. Good God. Even if it's not true, it's held up over time and is a good one, no?
00:07:27
Orlando News also tends to never say people died at the park, so... Other deaths at WDW.
00:07:35
One day in the daytime parade, Pluto got run over by a parade float and died. No!
00:07:42
The float breaks broke, and to this day, you'll never see characters in between floats dancing.
00:07:48
Which makes sense. I'm not a Disney person at all. And I find that to be heart-stoppingly horrible.
00:07:55
Because it's a bunch of kids watching the whole, that's every Disney does. That's what it's about.
00:08:01
And it's like, you're beloved. No one loves Pluto, but you're a beloved character.
00:08:08
Pluto's nobody's favorite. It's Mickey's dog, for God's sake. No one cares. But I mean, still.
00:08:18
Traumatizing. It's trauma from Ice Cream Lane to fucking Minnie Mouse Boulevard.
00:08:25
Like that's so many people. Also, the vibe, I'm sure it's the same. I have been to Disney World, but I can't remember.
00:08:33
But that Disney vibe of everybody being like, this is it. This is our big vacation.
00:08:37
This is our big chance. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Goddamn. That is so intense. Yeah. It's a big deal.
00:08:42
A kid got taken off the beach at the Grand Floridian by an alligator. and was found floating in the lagoon days later.
00:08:51
No. I know. And I think I've read that one too. Anytime you see a splash mountain down,
00:08:58
it is generally because someone either stood up in the ride and got hit by show equipment
00:09:02
or stood up or moved as the final plunge happened and they hit the brambles at the end.
00:09:08
This has happened multiple times. Oh, that's awful. Not a death, but one Christmas,
00:09:14
the show at the castle had an incident where the pyrotechnics went off early and severely hurt several characters on stage
00:09:21
and melted Goofy's face off. It happened at night, so they were able to go to black
00:09:27
and get the performers off, but I can vouch for this as I saw the mask after the show.
00:09:31
Good. Just the costume's face, thankfully. Hope this isn't TLDR. Please keep me anonymous.
00:09:39
What does that mean again? Too long, didn't read. Thank you. Oh, just could easily Google that and never have.
00:09:45
please keep me anonymous, stay sexy, and don't work as a character at Disney. Or do, and send us your fucking stories.
00:09:52
Or do, and how about you, as a writing exercise this summer, because you know you want to be a writer.
00:09:58
So sit down, and the scene begins with that parade coming down the street. POV, seven-year-old child sitting on the sidewalk,
00:10:08
clapping and waving their little flags. Oh. And then Pluto. And Goofy's my favorite.
00:10:14
I love, Mommy, Here comes Pluto. Pluto's my favorite. Here comes Pluto, mommy. Pick a new one, honey.
00:10:21
Mommy, remember you got that tattoo of Pluto because I love him so much? But I mean, think about that.
00:10:26
It actually makes sense why they're like no deaths declared on because it can't be, it can't happen.
00:10:33
No, I totally agree. Because they know at this point the irony, that story of a child getting,
00:10:38
I know. Oh, it's so awful. I know. So awful. So awful. Oh. Alligators are so fucking scary to me.
00:10:47
Like, you know when people, they're always like, look at this guy crawled up on a golf course.
00:10:52
And I'm like, that's a fucking dinosaur. Don't just stand around. They know how to move if they feel like it.
00:10:59
I never need to see one in my entire life. I'm fine without it. No way. And there's kind of nothing scarier
00:11:05
than when an alligator or crocodile is floating just with their eyes up. Oh, with a bird perched on their back,
00:11:12
riding along. That's pretty cute. You got to admit when a bird and an alligator make sense.
00:11:15
When the bird is the alligator's dentist, that is my favorite thing in all of history.
00:11:21
See, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Okay. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.
00:11:29
It's 2026. And if you have an alternative career like food photography or professional mixtape making or witchcraft, you're going to need an online presence.
00:11:38
Whatever your thing is, Squarespace helps you build a website that's as unique as you are.
00:11:42
Squarespace provides you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place.
00:11:47
From consultations to events and experiences, you can showcase your offerings with a customizable
00:11:51
website designed to attract clients and grow your business Get paid on time with professional invoices and online payments Plus streamline your workflow with built appointment scheduling and email marketing tools With Squarespace collection of cutting design tools anyone can build a beautiful professional online presence that
00:12:07
perfectly fits their brand or business. Head to squarespace.com slash murder for a free trial.
00:12:12
And when you're ready to launch, use offer code murder to save 10% off your first purchase of a
00:12:16
website or domain. Goodbye. Summer clothes should feel easy and still look polished.
00:12:22
Low maintenance, high reward. That's how we live our lives. For summer clothes you will actually wear, there's Quince.
00:12:28
Quince has beautiful everyday pieces like 100% European linen pants, dresses, and toffs with styles starting at $32.
00:12:35
Their denim is soft and easy to wear, and their organic cotton sweaters are perfect for layering on cool summer nights.
00:12:41
Everything at Quince is priced 50% to 80% less than similar brands because they work directly with ethical factories.
00:12:46
So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. And it's not just clothing. Quince has become a destination for elevated essentials across the home, kitchen, bedding, and beyond, making it easy to bring a more premium feel into everyday life.
00:12:59
I am a fan of Quince. Yeah. Karen's wardrobe is Quince-centric. I'm a lazy basics person, and the things that I get from them, I always go, oh, yeah, now I'm wearing these.
00:13:09
They work. They're cute. They're stylish. And they're classy. Like, it doesn't look lazy. It looks classy.
00:13:16
And it's so affordable. Yeah. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash MFM for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.
00:13:25
Now available in Canada too. That's quince.com slash MFM for free shipping and 365 day returns.
00:13:32
Quince.com slash MFM. Goodbye. When you're young, you don't really buy furniture.
00:13:37
You either inherit something from your parents or you just drag something in from the street
00:13:42
like you're some kind of hipster raccoon. When you're ready for furniture that you actually like, check out Article.
00:13:48
Article offers the style and durability you want at a price that actually makes sense.
00:13:52
They take great care in curating their collection, focusing on pieces that stand the test of time.
00:13:57
There's no filler. Every item is chosen for craftsmanship, design, and lasting value.
00:14:02
And with Article's 30-day satisfaction guarantee, you can shop with confidence, knowing that if you're not completely in love with your new furniture, you can easily return it.
00:14:10
Plus, Article's customer care team is available seven days a week, offering knowledgeable support and even free interior design services to help you get your
00:14:17
home just right. Yes, please. Don't we all kind of need that? Like the eye of an expert? Yeah.
00:14:23
Where should I put this? And also what should I move here and there? And what should I even get?
00:14:26
But Article has it all so you can get whatever there. That's right. You could be like, I have
00:14:30
this thing. Should I get this one or that one? Totally. Am I Scandi or am I mid-century? Help me
00:14:34
be boho chic, please. If you're in the market for a beautiful new sofa, dining table or bed,
00:14:39
head over to article.com. Goodbye. Hometown Story Short and Sweet Hometowns St. Marcus, Texas
00:14:48
Like everyone else I wait impatiently for new episodes and binge them as soon as possible
00:14:52
then impatiently wait again Thank you with three exclamation points I just finished this week's minisode
00:14:58
where someone turned away the off-brand Jack Sparrow at their doorstep and it reminded me
00:15:02
that I too made some risky choices in my first apartment This made me think if you can think of your first apartment stories
00:15:09
which usually take place for some part of the population when you're a sophomore in college
00:15:16
and you move off campus. And for some part of the population when you graduate high school
00:15:20
and you're like, bye, I'm on my own. That was me. Bye, let me open the door to any stranger.
00:15:27
Absolutely at all. It's so fun to have my own apartment. That's right. Okay, yes.
00:15:34
The year was 2016. I was 23 and I just moved to San Marcos, Texas for my first real job.
00:15:39
I was living with a grad student from Texas State University. One day while she was away on winter break,
00:15:45
I came home to a series of strange events. You see, I didn't lock my door often because I rationalized that
00:15:51
as I was on the third floor of a walk-up, it was safe. No one wants to do that many steps.
00:15:56
Amen. No, no, of course they will. There are two entrances to the apartment, one from the front stairs that entered my room directly
00:16:06
and another near the kitchen. That day, I walked into my room and laid down. I could hear what sounded like whispering coming from the kitchen,
00:16:14
but I told myself it was probably ghosts. What's the word when they try to make everything logical?
00:16:23
Rationalize. Rationalizes everything that doesn't make sense. I love just slapping a ghost label on stuff and walking away being like,
00:16:31
ugh, ghosts again. Don't make me get up. It's a ghost. He's watching your car getting stolen.
00:16:38
Okay. Or maybe, but less likely, the people next door. Later, I walked into the hall and noticed
00:16:44
the balcony door was wide open. So was the hall bathroom and my roommate's door, which she always
00:16:49
kept closed. I figured the balcony door blew open with the wind and the large gust must have opened
00:16:55
the others. Seriously, anything to not assume the worst. Later, when my friend came over, I told her
00:17:01
about the weird happenings. She immediately said, someone is in here, made me leave the house and
00:17:06
call the cops. She was clearly older and wiser. The cops came, searched the house, and it wasn't
00:17:13
until they entered the attic crawl space that I heard them shout, hands up, get down, it's the
00:17:18
police. A loud thud and rumble followed. I panicked, screamed, and ran out of the apartment.
00:17:24
Well, it turns out no one was up there. The police have to say that, or at least that's what they
00:17:30
told me. And one of the officers fell on my washing machine. They did believe someone had
00:17:34
been in the apartment and slipped out the balcony when they heard me come home. I learned my lesson,
00:17:40
lock your doors. And after listening to this podcast, especially lock your doors in a college
00:17:45
town, SSDGM, Rita. Rita. Good job. Great name. Good job. Love the name Rita. Love it. It's my
00:17:53
middle name Put down one of those like broom handles in your sliding glass door things to keep it That so important We have one It just such a basic thing
00:18:05
Sliding glass doors are so fucking easy to break into. So easy. If you've read I'll Be Gone in the Dark,
00:18:10
you know, like that's just no big deal to people. And the other thing I thought of
00:18:14
when the quarantine started, and this is like the first time I've had a garage in my life.
00:18:18
Don't leave your garage clicker in the car if you park on the street or anything.
00:18:23
Oh, right. People just come right in your fucking house. I didn't even think of it until,
00:18:27
I don't know why I was, anyways. Yeah, you had time in lockdown to think about stuff like that.
00:18:31
But no, you have to, like that kind of stuff is, it takes you two extra seconds.
00:18:36
Like the mentality of no one's gonna come up to the third floor. What's the benefit here?
00:18:41
Right, two seconds. What's the benefit of not locking your door? And put your seatbelt on too.
00:18:47
And God damn it. Because the people, I've heard someone go, I don't wear my seatbelt
00:18:52
because what if I get trapped in my car and the seatbelt gets trapped? Yep. What if I plunge into the seat?
00:18:59
Well, the seatbelt saved you. No. Stop planning for the 0.09% thing that could possibly happen
00:19:06
while everything else that's actually endangering you, you're pretending will never happen.
00:19:10
Listen to us. We're your older roommates and we know best. Listen to us. We're your roommates that are already in a fight with you,
00:19:16
which is some of the most fun electric energy to interact with. And you have to admit that.
00:19:22
No, I hate it. We care enough to yell into your face. Because there is, third floor?
00:19:27
What are, what? That doesn't hold up for two goddamn seconds. Your next door neighbor could be a pervert.
00:19:35
You don't know anything. Anything. Anything. Also, but you're so right about the broom handle
00:19:40
because that is such a simple, real version of when people tip the chair under the door jam or whatever.
00:19:47
But like, you cannot open a sliding glass door that has the broom handle in the back half of it.
00:19:52
You'd have to smash the entire silent glass door open, which burglars aren't going to do.
00:19:56
Nope. They're going to move on to the next house. Easy. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. The next person that's rationalizing away danger
00:20:02
for no fucking reason. Yeah. You heard it here first-ish. Okay. Okay, I'm not going to read you this one.
00:20:10
It is one of my favorites, which is lighthearted question mark. Oh, yes. Let us help you decide.
00:20:17
Hello, all. I think it is lighthearted, though. I've always wanted to write in a hometown,
00:20:21
but I didn't think I had any stories. It just hit me. What about my dad and his secret we found out after he died?
00:20:28
Here it is. My parents divorced when I was quite young and me and my brothers only saw my dad a couple times a year
00:20:35
for the school holidays. He was the most gentle, calm man you could have ever met.
00:20:40
He never once lost his temper at me and I was a pretty annoying kid. He lived in community housing and never had much money,
00:20:48
but he always made it fun for us kids. He had a genuine beautiful soul. So we were all devastated when he sadly died three years ago
00:20:55
of early onset Alzheimer's disease at the age of 72. The worst. My brother, two aunts, and uncle
00:21:03
were sitting in the funeral director's office organizing his service when the director asked for anecdotes to share of him.
00:21:10
My uncle pipes up, what about when he robbed that bank? My brother and I look stunned.
00:21:18
My aunts were shooting daggers with their eyes at my uncle and the funeral director stammering,
00:21:23
um, yes, yes, usually it's a light or funny story, but up to you as the family. My aunt swiftly changed the subject, and you better believe I called my mom,
00:21:33
demanding the details as soon as I left the office. Here's what she told me. When my dad was in his 20s, in the 70s, high on acid,
00:21:42
he decided it would be a good idea to rob a bank. Acid brings out all the very best ideas, don't it?
00:21:49
Yes, it does. I ate a crayon. It was after hours, so there were no traumatized employees or customers, thank God.
00:21:57
He broke into the back room and was able to take thousands just by breaking into the back room.
00:22:03
It was probably a sliding glass door. Yeah, that's right. On a bank. What if the safe had a sliding glass door?
00:22:10
And the vertical blinds next to it. You slowly twist it. He was able to steal. He was able to take thousands,
00:22:18
which he stepped into a duffel bag. However, when he ran out and got home, the safety die had been triggered.
00:22:23
So all of the money was useless. He was caught. My mom was very vague as to the details.
00:22:29
And he spent a few years in jail. He met my mom quite soon after he was released.
00:22:34
He didn't want his kids to know and never spoke about it. For him, it was definitely a stupid mistake.
00:22:39
And he certainly learned his lesson. I just hope he doesn't mind that his brother spilled the beans
00:22:44
after he died. Thanks to you and your team all the way from Australia, Rachel. God damn.
00:22:52
Family secrets. Family secrets. Family secrets. And also that is so hilarious. Clearly not a career criminal.
00:23:02
No. Clearly not someone interested in doing something like that in reality. Right. I also wonder like would he have had success breaking into the bank if he wasn't
00:23:11
on acid. You know, you get that like druggy luck sometimes where it's just like, boop,
00:23:16
I thought of this because I'm thinking outside the box because my brain has opened. My brain
00:23:22
has expanded tenfold. I'm entertaining every possibility. I'm also really good at pool.
00:23:28
Imagine the life I'm leading right now. But also that idea, like I would just love to see that scene
00:23:36
as a TV scene that's so fucking funny with the brother being like, like, as if there was nothing else
00:23:42
to talk about. Right. Like, dad was a wonderful person. It doesn't sound like they were,
00:23:47
he was, it's like, he wasn't an asshole that they had to make shit up about him for at his funeral.
00:23:51
It was like, he was a great guy. Let's talk about, you know, the uncle's been sitting on that
00:23:56
for so fucking long and it's finally. It's genuinely hilarious Except for that, you know, it is against the law and he had to go to jail, which sure was hard.
00:24:05
But he learned his lesson, so. It's called living. It's called getting out there and being a part of things.
00:24:11
It's called don't do drugs or if you do, stay at home and just enjoy. And while at home, if you get some idea about how fun it would be to rob a bank,
00:24:20
run it by someone that you trust. It's not on drugs. Yeah. Run it by Aunt Carol, who got so pissed when the suggestion was made.
00:24:29
She'll help you out. Summer is all about saying yes, going out and bringing the mess home in your car.
00:24:37
Sand, grass and melting snacks will inevitably hit your ride. But with WeatherTech, you can live life to the fullest.
00:24:43
WeatherTech floor liners, cargo liner and seat protectors allow you to keep up with your summer adventures without the worry.
00:24:49
WeatherTech is built for all of those summer things, allowing you the freedom to go all in.
00:24:54
WeatherTech is an American made premium product built to last and easy to clean.
00:24:58
If you're going all out this summer, you need WeatherTech. Visit weathertech.com today.
00:25:03
Goodbye. Summer is fun, but it can also completely destroy your routine. Between days at the beach, recovering from days at the beach, and then remembering you don't even like the beach, it can really mess up your day.
00:25:14
That's why it's helpful to have something like cachava that makes it easy to stick to one healthy habit.
00:25:19
Cachava is an all-in-one nutrition shake, and now it comes in new travel packs. Every packet gives you a simple shake with protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals, greens, probiotics, omegas, electrolytes, and more.
00:25:31
They're easy to toss into a bag, easy to take on the road, and a simple way to stick with your normal wellness habits even when your schedule changes.
00:25:39
Cachava is a clean, simple option for staying fueled when life gets busy. I am so excited about this because Vince is the crazy person who packs all his vitamins whenever we go somewhere.
00:25:48
And I'm like, I don't have room for that. And I also will just ignore them the entire trip.
00:25:53
So this is like how I'm going to get it all in. And then you have a satisfying shake.
00:25:57
So you have a breakfast or an emergency lunch. Like they're making it so convenient.
00:26:01
Oh my God, I'm so excited. Take your daily ritual with you. Go to cachava.com and use code MFM for 15% off your first order.
00:26:09
That's cachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A.com, code MFM. Goodbye. Sometimes the hardest part of therapy is just getting started.
00:26:17
For real, which is why having help that's flexible, accessible, and easy to fit into your life matters.
00:26:23
And that's exactly what Talkspace is designed for. Talkspace therapy and psychiatry is covered
00:26:27
by most insurers and most insured members pay a copay of zero dollars. Part of the mission of
00:26:32
Talkspace is to provide quality care that is accessible and affordable, whether or not you're
00:26:37
insured. Talkspace has really made it just a kind of no brainer to try therapy. If you're nervous
00:26:43
about talking to someone, if you're nervous about the money, if you're nervous about leaving the
00:26:48
house. You don't have to deal with any of that. They have covered it. And for me, like that is
00:26:53
best way to get into therapy. Take all the what ifs out. You know, you got to do it. You know,
00:26:57
you do. As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $80 off of your first month with Talkspace when
00:27:02
you go to Talkspace.com slash MFM and enter promo code space 80. That's S-P-A-C-E 8-0.
00:27:09
To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com slash MFM and enter promo code space
00:27:14
80. Goodbye. Okay, here's my last one. The subject line of this email is saved by a hearse
00:27:22
and it just starts, all right, how we doing? Yeah, is that your dad? How we doing?
00:27:28
You know your dad texted my husband recently? What do you say? Just to talk about sports.
00:27:34
He really loves Vince Averill so much. Yeah, who doesn't, man? Yeah. My dad loves your dad too.
00:27:40
He's pretty great. Yeah. And also I really love that my dad likes to text. It makes things so much easier.
00:27:46
Yes, my dad does too, thank God. Yes right Where you just like I don feel guilty because I can just be like he loves to send me a Newsmax article That his favorite thing I don know what that is Okay I live in the north of England
00:27:59
And a few months before the pandemic, I started taking driving lessons. I really didn't know what to expect, to be honest.
00:28:05
But from my first lesson, I realized that I was a bit of a nervous driver, mainly because UK roads are absolutely bonkers.
00:28:12
Anyway, the pandemic crashed into our lives and halted all lessons and tests. After a year of waiting, I finally got a test booked.
00:28:20
And that's when the test anxiety began. I actually felt physically sick anytime someone asked me, how's the driving going?
00:28:30
That's such a like problem of youth that then an adult volunteered to have. Right.
00:28:38
Like when you do stuff in your adult life where it's like, yeah, no one, this is just for you.
00:28:43
Yeah. You're giving yourself this anxiety. I love it. Okay. The morning of my test, I had no sleep and compensated for this with a banana and half a liter of Coke.
00:28:55
Oh, no. Which made me jitter like I was on something. My instructor realized I was a bit nervous and said helpfully, have you tried just not worrying about it?
00:29:09
Thank you. Thank you. Oh. Okay, Charles, thanks a lot for your help. Okay, I get to the test center
00:29:18
and Dave the examiner gets in the car. I try to make a few lighthearted jokes like let's hope I don't crash
00:29:24
to which he does not reply. I'm bricking it. I'm so nervous and sweaty that my hands are slipping on the steering wheel.
00:29:30
I say one last prayer and we're off. The test usually lasts about 40 minutes. Dave begins the test by asking me to follow a sat nav.
00:29:40
I think I've already screwed up when I take the wrong turn and end up on a country road.
00:29:45
We reach some traffic and I get a moment to breathe and relax. I then realize the cars ahead of me aren't traffic, but a funeral procession.
00:29:55
Oh no. So I'm crawling behind this procession at about five miles an hour. I'm worried.
00:30:01
My instructor hasn't prepared me for this eventuality. Am I meant to overtake them?
00:30:06
Would that be disrespectful? Who knows? So I go with the safe option and drive behind them,
00:30:11
thinking they might turn off soon. About 30 minutes past. Oh, no. Going five miles an hour down a country road in a funeral.
00:30:20
Oh, God. We're still stuck behind the bone cart. Dave's getting agitated. Bone cart.
00:30:25
The bone cart. Finally, there's a left turn, and Dave says, Sorry, love. I've got another test waiting, and directs me back to the test center.
00:30:33
I park up and expect the worst. But to my surprise, Dave said, I'm delighted to say that you've passed.
00:30:40
And just like that, I got my license. No roundabouts, no intersections, no zebra crossings.
00:30:46
How lucky is that? Yes. Even though my test was fairly straightforward, I have to say that learning to drive
00:30:53
is one of the hardest things I've done as an adult. But you'll be pleased to hear that since passing,
00:30:58
I've become a much more confident driver. And I actually love how much freedom it's given me.
00:31:03
I've also adopted the very British mentality of saying shitting hell at any minor inconvenience on the road.
00:31:10
Shitting hell. I know it's probably pure coincidence, but it definitely feels like someone
00:31:15
from beyond the grave helped me out that day. Cheers, box of bones, rest in peace and all that.
00:31:22
There's no name. That was excellent. I love it. I love the twist of them beyond the grave helping you.
00:31:29
My favorite part is my new favorite phrase, I was bricking it. Bricking it. Meaning shitting a brick.
00:31:36
Yes. I was bricking it. Fucking love it. I mean, the British know how to turn a phrase nothing like the Scottish but definitely great at it Right My favorite British saying that I picked up from British sitcoms is piece of piss Oh no
00:31:52
Which is Cockney rhyming slang for like, it's really easy. Oh. I can't remember.
00:31:57
I actually looked it up and got the- It's like a piece of cake instead. But it's Cockney rhyming slang.
00:32:04
Right. There's some phrase that's like, this is easy, but I don't know what it is.
00:32:08
And then they rhyme it. What's a phrase that your grandma or someone used to say all the time
00:32:13
that made no sense, but made you pass your driver's test? Okay, my last one is- I was actually gonna answer.
00:32:20
I'm like, what in a Sam Hill? What in a Sam Hill? What in a Sam Hill? Oh, okay, thanks.
00:32:25
Okay, my last one is called Kismet on a Cruise Ship. Dear MFM crew, so we are leaning hard into coincidences
00:32:32
and kismet stories lately, so prepare for some spine shivers. First, let me say,
00:32:37
I am not a cruise ship endorser. I blame the love boat for making me think I wanted to go on a cruise
00:32:42
because who wouldn't want to be on the Lido deck and possibly meet Isaac? Mm-hmm.
00:32:47
Uh-huh. But the one cruise my parents tricked us into was a cruise not someplace sunny and warm,
00:32:52
but to Canada. The Anne of Green Gables house was cool. I digress. The story I want to share happened to my parents
00:33:00
about 18 years ago. They decided last minute to take a quick, four-night New Year's cruise to the Gulf of Mexico.
00:33:06
For meals on the ship, if you were in a party of two, you tended to be set either with another couple
00:33:10
to make a four top or with a larger party, which is one of the reasons I never fucking want to go on a cruise.
00:33:16
Yes, except I have to say the one cruise I've been on, I think about the people we were sat with.
00:33:21
There was two sisters that were from New Jersey who started off seeming mean and became my favorite people who,
00:33:28
and they actually, my mother, and they exchanged like letters over the years after.
00:33:33
Okay. I mean, I always get scared of that shit and then it always ends up being wonderful.
00:33:38
People are just like, everybody just wants a little connection and to drink some wine.
00:33:43
Yeah. I just can't eat in silence. So there's an issue there. Okay. It's one of my things.
00:33:49
Do you think like eight people are going to just not say anything? Yes. This quiet food sound. And then, but no, it won't be that. It'll just be me asking stupid
00:33:56
questions the whole time to get people to talk. And then everyone being super quiet.
00:34:01
I'm sweating right now. I'm sweating. I can't eat in silence. Okay. On the second night of the cruise,
00:34:06
my parents in their early 70s at the time were seated with a recently engaged couple
00:34:10
in their early 40s. As you do, sitting with complete strangers, you start spilling your life story
00:34:15
to make that prime rib go down easier. The man shared how it had taken him a long time
00:34:21
to live into his life. Hence for him, his just now getting engaged for the first time.
00:34:26
He talked about how he had joined the Navy in his youth, serving him in the Pacific
00:34:30
and as an attempt to get his life in order. He mentioned a commanding officer who really pushed him hard,
00:34:35
even though it sounded like this cruise dude was a real pain in the ass to his CO, commanding officer.
00:34:41
Even with all that struggle, he credited this officer with setting him on the right track.
00:34:46
My father's younger brother, Terry, had also served in the Pacific like this guy.
00:34:50
So dad asked him the name of the officer, thinking there is no way this guy could be Terry.
00:34:55
His name is Terry Carmody, the man replied. The table fell silent as the shock of my uncle
00:35:02
being the commanding officer registered with my dad. Of all the, okay. The man was so excited and he wanted Terry's contact info
00:35:10
so he could reach out and thank Uncle Terry for all he had done for him. My dad, who I'm sure is crying at this point
00:35:16
because that is his thing, informed the man that Terry was in the final stages of suffering with ALS
00:35:23
and that he should reach out very soon if he wanted to contact. And then, amazing, the man and his fiance
00:35:30
went to Chicago to visit Uncle Terry and say thanks before he died. In person Yeah My uncle was a real ass kicker And in my opinion this guy was super lucky to have crossed his path This story still gives me goosebumps about how big and yet how small the world can be
00:35:46
And I thought you would appreciate it. On a closing note, I am one of your ordained listeners
00:35:50
as a school chaplain and an Episcopal priest. Hi. Hi. You have expressed wonder before about
00:35:57
how you could possibly have any folks in my vocation love your show. Sounds right. Well,
00:36:03
Well, we love strong storytelling. Preach it. We are studies of human behavior, the good, the bad, all of it.
00:36:09
And we take justice, especially for the marginalized and silenced in our world very seriously.
00:36:15
This story about Terry definitely preaches. Keep doing what you do, stay sexy, and don't get irritated by being sat with strangers
00:36:22
because you never know. The Rev Betsy, she, her. Oh, Reverend Betsy, that was just,
00:36:31
a delicious email. Praise be. Praise Jesus, Mary, and Joseph are with us now. And Joseph, and Terry, and Uncle Terry.
00:36:45
So now we have, did she say Betsy? Yeah, Reverend Betsy. So now we have Reverend Betsy
00:36:50
and we have my Aunt Mary the nun. That's right. So it's like we're growing. We are legion.
00:36:56
Piling them up, piling them on, get in our boat. Let's get the good Christians on their feet and active.
00:37:03
That's right. We need you guys. We need you. Please. You're the ones. All right.
00:37:08
Send us your stories. You're the ones. It's on you now. It's on you. We can't do it, clearly.
00:37:15
Thanks for writing in. Tell us your stories. We appreciate you. Man, the coincidence slash kismet slash glitch in the matrix slash that whole area is a rich
00:37:27
area. It's ripe. It's great stories. Spotter. Yeah. Love it. Loving it. Love it.
00:37:34
Thank you all. Stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie?
00:37:48
This has been an Exactly Right production. Our senior producer is Hannah Kyle Crichton.
00:37:53
Our producer is Alejandra Keck. This episode was engineered and mixed by Stephen Ray Morris.
00:37:58
Our researcher is Gemma Harris. Email your hometowns and fucking hoorays to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com.
00:38:04
Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and Twitter at My Fave Murder.
00:38:10
Goodbye. Cheap Caribbean Summer Savings Event is here. Right now, get $100 instant savings on vacation packages to Cancun, Jamaica, and the Dominican Republic.
00:38:30
Whether you're chasing poolside drinks, white sand beaches, or endless all-inclusive fun,
00:38:34
Cheap Caribbean helps you get more beach for less money. Book your summer vacay today at CheapCaribbean.com.
00:38:40
Goodbye. Pandora Jewelry brings the sparkle to summer, now with even better prices.
00:38:46
Shop now for up to 50% off select jewelry featuring personalized pieces to must-have summer favorites.
00:38:51
Timeless jewelry made to move with you through every moment. Shop in-store or online now through July 5th.
00:38:57
Terms and conditions apply. See pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. Summer is all about saying yes, going out, and bringing the mess home in your car.
00:39:06
Sand, grass, and melting snacks will inevitably hit your ride. But with WeatherTech, you can live life to the fullest.
00:39:13
WeatherTech floor liners, cargo liner, and seat protectors allow you to keep up with your summer adventures without the worry.
00:39:18
WeatherTech is built for all of those summer things, allowing you the freedom to go all in.
00:39:23
WeatherTech is an American-made premium product built to last and easy to clean.
00:39:27
If you're going all out this summer, you need WeatherTech. Visit WeatherTech.com today.
00:39:32
Goodbye.