00:00:00
This is exactly right. Isn't some far off concept? It's already here. Next starts now.
00:00:33
Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. When a charming neurosurgeon rode into Frontier Town
00:00:39
selling a persona of confidence and care, patients trusted him. He wore cowboy boots in the operating room
00:00:45
and became sought after by patients. He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies.
00:00:51
This is a story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice. Listen to Dr. Death the Cowboy wherever you get your podcasts
00:00:58
or binge the entire series right now only with Audible. Goodbye. Pandora Jewelry brings the sparkle to summer, now with even better prices.
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Terms and conditions apply. See pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. My favorite murder
00:01:32
Hello! And welcome. To My Favorite Murder. The Minisode. This is the Minisode. We read you your stories about everything and everything.
00:01:50
And it's short. Yep. And that's why we're going to start now. You want to go first?
00:01:55
Sure. this. It just says creepy neighbor update as a subject line. Great. Hi from Switzerland. Oh,
00:02:04
hi. And then it says, yes, you've crossed the pond and the Alps. I mean, that's sexy as hell.
00:02:12
I'm so excited. That is a huge brag and I love it. I genuinely feel a thrill with the fact that
00:02:19
people outside of our home country give a shit about this podcast. No, it's crazy. It's so weird.
00:02:28
It feels like a true accomplishment. It feels like I finished college. The same-sies. Because, you know, like half the people who finish college,
00:02:37
nobody knows who they are in another fucking country. Certainly not fucking Switzerland.
00:02:42
Everything is elite and chocolate and clean and fresh. Snow-covered, beautiful. Yeah.
00:02:49
All right. We see you, Switzerland. We see you, and we're glad you see us. And we're moving there.
00:02:54
We'll be there soon. It says, I sent you my creepy neighbor story a while ago, and there has been a development.
00:03:00
Okay. That's the attitude we like. If we haven't read your story, just keep updating us about it.
00:03:06
Like, pretend we're in this conversation, and we'll jump in pretty soon. Okay, so it says, short question mark recap.
00:03:14
I moved into a ground floor apartment three years ago and instantly got creepy vibes by my old upstairs neighbor
00:03:20
who would do weird stuff like leave fresh produce at my porch door, put his belongings in the hallway for everyone to fall over,
00:03:28
or spend his days rummaging through every trash can he could get his hands on. Being too naive to fuck politeness,
00:03:34
and I guess too scared to tell an old man to leave me alone, I never told him off and I just let him live his life
00:03:40
until the day I caught him staring into my bedroom window at night where he thought I couldn't see him.
00:03:50
Just, you're there in bed in the dark. Face. And you look over there, it's just a little old man head staring at you.
00:03:57
It's that face of an old man. Old man face. Oh, God. Okay. After alerting the landlord, I got to talking to other tenants
00:04:05
just to learn more weird things about him. But what took the cake was that he sexually harassed my other young female neighbor
00:04:12
and was caught several times mending her panties in our shared laundry drying room.
00:04:19
Oh my God, no. These need to be fucking sewed. Oh my God. Just a nightmare. Also, it's making me laugh especially hard because they wrote mending
00:04:34
and then in parentheses it says repairing. Thank you, Switzerland. Switzerland, you're not smarter than us.
00:04:41
Also props to people with holes in their underwear because hi, I see you. Hey. Listen.
00:04:47
Hey, welcome to the club. That's right. The thing is that underwear, at least for somebody like me,
00:04:52
are so private that you're like, this is fine. No one's ever gonna. And then suddenly there's an old man like,
00:04:58
I'll take care of that for you. Ew. Sir, please don't. Please don't. Okay, back to the email.
00:05:04
Well, since he never answered his mail or paid any of his bills, the police eventually showed up
00:05:09
and had to drill, saw, and hammer their way into his hoarder apartment where they arrested him kicking and screaming
00:05:17
and eventually transferred him to an assisted living facility. What followed in the days after his violent departure
00:05:23
was better than any mystery show. Every day, helpers would carry a shitload of stuff
00:05:28
out of his 645 square foot apartment. They actually wrote 60M2, which probably 60 meters or...
00:05:38
Squared? 60 square meters. Yes. Oh, hey. I thought it was go 60 miles an hour on the M2.
00:05:44
In your own apartment. Deal with it. Hey. Okay. So they carry a shitload of stuff
00:05:51
out of his tiny apartment into what would not be one or two but all in all six huge moving trucks Six Oh fuck Huge moving trucks including four antique rifles two boxes full of guns
00:06:06
old hand grenades, three swords, nine desktop computers. That's not scary. I'm scared of swords, but not desktop computers.
00:06:16
But still, it's a lot of desktop computers. Although, if you're thinking on every one of those desktop computers, he's hoarding porn.
00:06:23
Oh. Oh. That ruins it. He's, no, sorry. He's just looking up YouTube videos of how to mend panties.
00:06:31
Much better. Nine computers. Probably every glass bottle anyone from the house had ever thrown away.
00:06:38
We're still in the middle of this list. Bikes, multiple printers, and sadly, a lot of women's underwear
00:06:45
from us female tenants. Oof. A lot. So my gut feeling from the start had tried to tell me something,
00:06:52
and I should have just fucked politeness and told him to get lost from the get-go.
00:06:56
All in all, I guess I'm glad he got the help he needed, but I'm even more glad he's out of here.
00:07:01
Stay sexy and don't accept stolen produce from your creepy upstairs neighbor, Nina.
00:07:06
Nina, we're glad you're well and everything is mended in your apartment building.
00:07:13
Correct. Well, that's fucked up. Yeah. Well, not to be outdone, I have one with a list too.
00:07:21
Great. Come please, let's make this a competing list podcast. Oh, that would be fun.
00:07:31
My list is longer. What's your list about this week? Let's see. Okay, this is called Abandoned Safe Deposit Box Hometown.
00:07:39
And then they very politely wrote, three minute read. They timed it out. Thank you.
00:07:46
All right. It says, all right, y'all buckle up. In episode 331, you asked for safe deposit box stories after covering the Buenos Aires
00:07:53
Bank heist of 2006. And lo, it is my time to butt in and shine. Hi. Hi. I have been in banking since 2010, and I have worked for large regional banks down to the
00:08:04
small community bank I'm currently with. While I can't get too specific because I need to protect past and current client confidentiality,
00:08:11
I can give you the 4,000-foot overview. Yes. Every office I've ever worked in has had safe deposit boxes.
00:08:20
While I hate them for many reasons, they have provided their fair share of crazy bank stories and equally crazy clients.
00:08:26
You specifically asked what happens to the contents of a box when the client stops paying.
00:08:31
The box will typically languish for a fairly long period of time while we try to contact the client.
00:08:36
This is especially fun when I worked in an office built in the 1960s. The records were filled out by hand, hardly updated,
00:08:43
and everyone's name was Mrs. Husband's name. And then an emoji looking up in the air,
00:08:50
an L.A. Bay emoji. Once the operations gods decided that it was time to give the old contents the boot,
00:08:58
we called the locksmith to come and drill the boxes. Each box is then open in the presence
00:09:03
of two bank employees and inventoried. Yep, we go through your shit and write it down in great detail.
00:09:09
And now down to the goods, a small sampling of things I have found in safe deposit boxes.
00:09:13
I truly have chills. You ready for number one? Baby teeth. Oh. Dog teeth. Gold teeth.
00:09:22
Unidentifiable teeth? Question mark. That's a question mark. Vampire teeth. A finger in formaldehyde?
00:09:30
Maybe. Maybe. Question mark. Human hair. Nice jewelry. Costume jewelry. Tangled knotted messes of jewelry.
00:09:37
Watches. Eyeglasses. A monocle. Oh, by itself? I guess. Yes, all alone. And then every once a year,
00:09:46
Mr. Peanut comes in and checks that box. Oh, papers, papers everywhere. Trash, bars of gold, bars of silver, a bar of soap.
00:09:55
Lots of coins, valuable and not a gun. Bullet, knives, a box of nails. And they don't specify if it's like hammer nails
00:10:04
or like fingernails. And I'm gonna hope it's fingernails. Pictures, naked pictures, really gross pictures.
00:10:11
and many, many money dollars. People like to come to the bank and make a withdrawal
00:10:18
and then immediately put it into their deposit box. Don't. It's not insured. It's not fireproof.
00:10:23
And it's not waterproof. Oh. Contrary to popular opinion, there's never a dull moment in banking.
00:10:29
It's also provided me with a lot of giggles and gasps over the years. Like the time a client took out his glass eye
00:10:35
and put it on my desk. What? Or another asked for small bills so she could roll around in the money.
00:10:42
Banking and bankers often get a bad rap, but there are some great ones out there
00:10:46
who are truly invested in changing their clients' lives for better. My advice, get thee to a local community bank.
00:10:53
Yes. Yes. High yield savings also. Stay sexy and sanitize, sanitize, sanitize after you've rifled through a client-safe deposit box.
00:11:02
You don't know where any of their crap has been. XO Anonymous. Oh, Anonymous. What a gift that was.
00:11:11
Good one. Because it's like some of the things on that list, you know were going to be on the list.
00:11:17
So you kind of felt comforted. Yeah. In the reality of the list. Yeah. But like, I want to talk about pictures
00:11:26
people put in safe deposit boxes. Oh, I do too. You know, my sister used to work at a one hour,
00:11:31
like in high school, worked at a one hour Photoshop. And she would bring photos home for sure.
00:11:37
Of just like fucked up shit. Yeah. I don't remember what it was. I don't remember if she'd ever had to call the police or anything like that, but write us in if
00:11:45
you've had those experiences, please. I mean, yeah. And also that was back when people were so
00:11:51
innocent that they didn understand that like truly your whatever thing you doing that no one would care if it was legal and normal Right But like if you doing something weird
00:12:06
they're eyes on. Yeah. And like, people have to do something. Right. And then they're scarred for life too.
00:12:13
But then maybe they took down the local pedophile. You don't know. Oh, I mean, that would be cool.
00:12:17
And kind of a victory. I'm trying to find, I took a picture of a tweet someone sent
00:12:22
about this very topic. and I was trying to do it here. Can I read this? Yeah, yeah.
00:12:27
So I took a picture of this tweet. It's from a while ago. And I was thinking we'll fold it back in
00:12:33
if this ever gets mentioned again. Here we are. Oh my God. It's from someone, their screen name is Running Din,
00:12:39
at Din Running. And they're telling us, listening to episode 331, FYI, when safe deposit boxes
00:12:46
don't get paid for or abandoned, they are giving to the government. The bank doesn't keep it.
00:12:52
And we hate doing the audits at least my branch. So it's like, it's back up on that same thing
00:12:57
of how grossed out everyone is when they have to look at it. I thought it sounds fun,
00:13:02
but all right. I guess. What do I know? Well, it's not everyone's like us, but everyone listening to this
00:13:09
is like us. It's fucking treasure, man. It is true treasure. That you can't keep, I guess.
00:13:15
I just want to say congratulations or thank you and whatever to Alejandra, a producer on this show.
00:13:21
And she pulls these stories for us. And I literally went in order and picked every single one that she's beginning to like for all the ones we needed.
00:13:31
Yeah, she gives us 10 for each episode. So we have to pick three for each episode, which is hard enough picking three good ones.
00:13:38
But she definitely picks like good ones every episode for sure. She's very good at it.
00:13:43
Thank you, Alejandra. Yeah. Okay. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent.
00:13:51
The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14. Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense, rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust.
00:14:02
Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation, and Hyundai doesn't either. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach.
00:14:08
Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle. Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability.
00:14:15
And Hyundai continues doing it every day. From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far-off concept.
00:14:24
It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye.
00:14:30
Pandora jewelry brings the sparkle to summer, now with even better prices. Shop now for up to 50% off select jewelry featuring personalized pieces to must-have summer favorites.
00:14:39
Timeless jewelry made to move with you through every moment. Shop in-store or online now through July 5th.
00:14:45
Terms and conditions apply. See pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.
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It's 2026. And if you have an alternative career like food photography or professional mixtape making or witchcraft, you're going to need an online presence.
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00:15:41
Goodbye. So the subject line of this is hero mom and roof rescue. Not sure it just goes right into it.
00:15:50
Not sure if we're still doing hero mom slash nurse stories, but I have one too good not to share.
00:15:56
It was the early 2000s in suburban Cleveland, and my brother was running errands with my mom since he was out sick from school.
00:16:03
Stop 1,000 of the day was to the dry cleaners. Moms. I do miss the era of just getting driven around
00:16:11
while your mom does her business. And you have to go. There's no, I don't want to go to Nordstrom.
00:16:17
Shut up. No, you got, you have nothing else to do. You don't get a vote. You don't.
00:16:22
You're eight and you just get in the car and you suck up that secondhand smoke and enjoy yourself.
00:16:29
Okay. My brother sat in the car while my mom ran in. All of a sudden, a man runs into the store,
00:16:35
and a minute later, my mom runs out with him. My brother hilariously assumed my feisty Italian mom
00:16:42
was about to fight this guy. Oh, my God. Instead, she heads up to the roof, where one of the electricians who was working
00:16:49
lay unconscious and not breathing. He had slipped and grabbed onto a live wire, electrocuting himself.
00:16:56
The workers knocked the wire from his hand with a two-by-four, laid him on a plank of wood,
00:17:01
and my mom, who had been retired from nursing for at least a decade, immediately got to work providing CPR.
00:17:08
The paramedics finally arrived, and he was rushed to the hospital, barely hanging on to life.
00:17:13
In the end, the man survived because of my mom's quick thinking and immediate willingness to help a person in need.
00:17:19
For years, his... This is going to get me. For years, his wife would send cards to update us on how he was doing,
00:17:26
that they had a child, etc. Oof. The mom, it's Rachel. Yeah. Rachel's mom is the reason that child exists.
00:17:35
Totally. And the other workers there too. Yes, yes, yes. The other workers. The fast thinking of strangers saved this person's life.
00:17:42
I was going to say whoever left the ladder on the side of the building, but I bet that was there when the workers.
00:17:46
Okay. Shout out to all everyday heroes. I promise they're still out there. SSDGM, Rachel.
00:17:53
Oh, Rachel. Good job Your mom What lovely That ass mom Yeah All right This one is called Chicago Baby Kidnapped from Hospital and Later Found
00:18:06
Oh. Mm-hmm. Howdy, cowgirls and boys and loyal companions. That's the first. I love you and everything you do to keep my commute to the Chicago airport from Wisconsin
00:18:16
fun and interesting. I came across this story from the Chicago area, and I thought you might find it as shocking
00:18:22
and strange and earth-shattering as I did, I'll try to keep it as short as possible.
00:18:27
Thank you. Dora and Chester Franzack welcomed a baby named Paul in a Chicago hospital in the spring of 1964.
00:18:35
While Dora was nursing her new baby, a nurse came in and informed new mom, Dora,
00:18:40
that the nurse needed to take the baby to the nursery for some wellness checks. She took Dora's newborn and vanished forever.
00:18:48
Oh. After another nurse came in sometime later looking for Dora's new baby, it became clear that the nurse who had been in earlier was a fraud.
00:18:55
A few years later, a toddler is found abandoned outside of a shopping center. And since at the time there was no way to verify anyone's identity through DNA,
00:19:04
they relied on physical similarities between the toddler and the single photo ever taken of baby Paul.
00:19:11
Paul's mother is quoted as saying, that's my baby. And the toddler found was home safe at last.
00:19:18
well all caps it turns out nearly 50 years later the toddler baby who grew up believing he was of
00:19:25
franzac heritage was actually not baby paul oh his name was actually jack rosenthal and it's
00:19:32
believed his parents abandoned him outside that shopping center but then he got like found and
00:19:38
probably raised so beautifully because they were so grateful to have their baby back even though
00:19:42
it wasn't exactly baby it's almost like the best possible outcome in this horrible story
00:19:46
The real baby Paul was located through DNA submitted by his daughter into a genealogy site.
00:19:52
His name was Kevin and found living in a small Michigan town. It's believed he was reunited with Dora, but unfortunately could not speak to Chester, the father, as he had already passed.
00:20:04
God. More sadly, Kevin, the baby, passed away in 2020 from cancer. His obituary lists a fake birthday and not his real one,
00:20:13
which I find to be chilling conclusion to a heartbreaking story. Not much is known about the true story of what happened that day,
00:20:21
except that rumor has it the woman who raised Kevin was dating a doctor in Chicago
00:20:25
and had moved briefly to Louisiana and came back with a baby. For the sake of time, I'll leave it at that.
00:20:30
But wow, what a nightmare for all involved and sends me reeling at the thought of how fucked up some people truly are.
00:20:36
Anyways, that's my story from the always pleasant and never scary city of Chicago.
00:20:40
I think of you both like my big sisters and I'm comforted listening to your podcast
00:20:44
even though you're always telling stories that chill me to the bone. The strangest paradox.
00:20:49
Stay sexy and question anyone that tries to take your baby even in a hospital, Alex.
00:20:54
It's just like in the airports in the 60s where you could just walk in, little cash, throw it down.
00:21:00
Didn't need, I don't think you needed ID in the beginning. You just kind of, it was,
00:21:04
they were trying to make it as convenient as possible. And it's that thing where like,
00:21:09
people assume no one would ever do that because they wouldn't do it. So there's nothing set up for it.
00:21:14
Yeah. There's not as much critical thinking because those things actually didn't happen.
00:21:18
So it wasn't like it was on everyone's radar the way it is now, right? Where it's like, we're so aware
00:21:24
of all these bad things happening. And that idea of like, that there is this, it's almost like the more people talk about mental illness
00:21:32
and the different kinds of ways it strikes different kinds of people, knowing that there are women who become obsessed with being mothers
00:21:40
and can't be or whatever, like that is a thing that is common, actually. It's like...
00:21:46
That's clearly that woman who did that was mentally ill. Well, she had a nurse's outfit on.
00:21:52
Yeah. I mean, she wasn't like not responsible for herself, but she had an obsession and a lack of morals.
00:21:58
It's crazy. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent.
00:22:07
The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14. Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense, rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust.
00:22:17
Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation, and Hyundai doesn't either. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach.
00:22:23
Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle. Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability.
00:22:31
And Hyundai continues doing it every day. From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game,
00:22:37
the future isn't some far-off concept. It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA.
00:22:43
Goodbye. Pandora Jewelry brings the sparkle to summer, now with even better prices.
00:22:49
Shop now for up to 50% off select jewelry featuring personalized pieces to must-have summer favorites.
00:22:54
Timeless jewelry made to move with you through every moment. Shop in-store or online now through July 5th.
00:23:00
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00:23:40
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I am a fan of Quince. Yeah, Karen's wardrobe is Quince-centric. I'm a lazy basics person,
00:23:51
And the things that I get from them, I always go, oh, yeah, now I'm wearing these.
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They work. They're cute. They're stylish. And they're classy. Yeah. It doesn't look lazy.
00:24:00
It looks classy. And it's so affordable. Yeah. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash MFM for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.
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Now available in Canada too. That's quince.com slash MFM for free shipping and 365 day returns.
00:24:18
Quince.com slash MFM. Goodbye. Let's really, let's get back to what's important.
00:24:26
Yeah. Remember we said this is short? Yeah. This, right. It's supposed to be shorter than the other podcast.
00:24:31
This. Uh-oh. This. Okay. The subject line of this is tattoo shop story without a lesson at the end.
00:24:41
It says, hey, all. Sorry to skip the pleasantries, but I'm jumping right in. I'm listening to the most recent Hometown episode with a tattoo shop story,
00:24:49
and my brain was flooded with hundreds of good ones from my time in the industry.
00:24:53
I worked for years as a shop manager, and girl, the things we see. Some of my favorites include an older man getting a realistic portrait of his wife's vagina on his neck.
00:25:04
What? A neck vagina? Did you say neck? Oh, my God. Realistic. Which means you brought a photo, like an up-close photo of it, which means someone had a one-hour photo.
00:25:20
Oh, my God. Still life with your wife's pussy? Ma'am, could you back up just a little bit?
00:25:27
I'm trying. I'm an artist. I see the tattoo artist like bifocals on looking over them.
00:25:33
Oh, God, he has a monocle. That monocle and then they went and put it right back
00:25:38
in the bank depository. That's right. What if the pussy had a monocle on it? It was very classy.
00:25:49
Very classy. Yeah. The second thing in this list is a woman getting a butterfly tattooed on her vagina
00:25:54
and then attempting to jump the bill. And then in parentheses, it says, sorry, these are all vagina themes so far.
00:26:02
That was definitely not on purpose. And here's the last thing in this list. And the one to follow.
00:26:10
In the recent story you read, the writer mentions what I imagine was a very similar situation.
00:26:16
A couple comes in hanging all over each other, looking for a walk-in appointment.
00:26:20
The man wants to get the woman's name in script across his entire throat. Jesus, these throat tattoos.
00:26:27
Not quick, not cheap, not fun to sit through. We help him pick out a style, set him up with an artist who is free,
00:26:34
and make him sign a waiver for hand foot or neck tattoos There no guarantees if you doing the extremities or your throat apparently The woman says she paying for it as a gift for him
00:26:46
and it's traditional to take the payment after the service on something like that since time is a factor,
00:26:51
so they head back. It's so funny. I would think tattoos, you want to get paid up front.
00:26:55
I don't know why. It's like getting your nails done. It's like before you're shaking and bleeding and in pain,
00:27:01
you should pay. Although I think what they're saying is they can't tell how long it will take the artist.
00:27:07
Oh, and that's how you charge them. Especially if it's some involved thing. Got it.
00:27:11
Like say you're doing a realistic wife's vagina. That's going to take longer. Hours, hours.
00:27:18
That's going to take longer. The clock is ticking. Okay, so the whole time they're talking about how in love they are and carrying on,
00:27:26
I mean, while the guy isn't whimpering and looking really unhappy. So he's in full pain getting a throat cut too.
00:27:32
Finally, now at the end of the day, the wrapping up and wiping down, the artist has him stand up to check it out in the mirror
00:27:38
and she follows him back. He looks at it and she drops the apparent act and says in front of everyone, I may add,
00:27:47
Oh no. Motherfucker, I've known you've been cheating for ages. Have fun paying for this, your goddamn self,
00:27:54
finding a ride home and living with my name on your stupid throat. Holy shit. it. She fucking did it. She did it. And she walks out. Everyone stared. One artist laughed out loud.
00:28:10
I need their name. I need to meet that artist because that's absolutely what I would have done.
00:28:15
That's right. It was rough. The guy ended up having to get cash out of the ATM to pay for this
00:28:20
very not cheap new tattoo that he was already feeling pretty regretful about and calling a
00:28:27
friend to pick him up. Oh my God. It could have cost 500 bucks. I mean, depending on how long
00:28:33
someone's name across your throat is. Yeah. The money part, I feel like I wish it wasn't,
00:28:39
I wish it wasn't part of it. I wish she was just like, now you got my name on my throat,
00:28:42
bitch, and fucking left. You know what I mean? Like the money, whatever. But I will say at least,
00:28:47
at least he didn't get a realistic portrait of her vagina on his neck. name's a little better
00:28:55
her angry angry cheated on vagina this episode calling a friend yeah for real calling a friend to pick him up
00:29:04
it was just poetry I don't think I'll ever not laugh when I think of it that lady deserves
00:29:09
an acting award absolutely I don't think there's a real lesson to be learned here
00:29:13
except don't get a name tattooed or maybe don be a cheating asshole but I thought you might get a laugh out of it either way Thank you for doing what you do Sending my love Stay sexy and tip your tattooer Kelsey
00:29:26
Perfect. Perfect. Just amazing. Just what we wanted. Thank you. Thank you, Kelsey.
00:29:31
Kelsey. Good job. You just delivered A plus content. And I thank you for it. Truly.
00:29:37
My last one's called, okay, fine, I'll write in. So we've been bugging her for years.
00:29:45
Okay. It starts, dear literally everyone. You wanted a story about grandma, so here you go.
00:29:52
I don't know why I'm reading this so aggressively so far, but it just feels that way.
00:29:57
My grandmother, who is a born and raised Southern Baptist, always made a weird request when she was alive.
00:30:03
She must be buried with shoes on. She wanted to meet Jesus wearing shoes. And then it says in parentheses,
00:30:10
I think maybe out of politeness or something, but she was very adamant about it.
00:30:14
she must be wearing shoes. Well, my grandma died a few years ago in a diabetic coma,
00:30:19
but because of that, her feet were extremely swollen. So as my mom, aunt, and I were getting her things together
00:30:25
for the funeral home, we were very concerned about the shoes. The only thing that we could find
00:30:29
that would actually fit her feet were her pink slippers. Not bunny, just regular.
00:30:34
Good enough. Fast forward to her funeral, my mom, my aunt, and I were all looking at her in her casket,
00:30:41
and my mom said, at least she's wearing shoes. We then all collectively remembered we did forget something.
00:30:47
All caps, her underwear. So my grandmother, a Southern Baptist who wanted to be buried in shoes to meet Jesus,
00:30:55
was not and is still not wearing any underwear. We asked the funeral director if they had somehow corrected our mistake,
00:31:03
which they didn't as she had come from the hospital wearing a hospital gown. I like to think my grandmother was laughing at us, but she probably isn't.
00:31:10
Stay sexy and don't go to your funeral commando. Sav, she, her. Oh, well, here's the thing.
00:31:19
Jesus loves her just the same. The person that she's anticipating meeting. Maybe a little more.
00:31:24
He also isn't me. Yeah, right? A little more, maybe in his perfect love. And he's not wearing shoes or underwear.
00:31:31
Oh, that's true. No judgments. He's not judgmental. Yeah. At least the one I know.
00:31:36
I'd hope not. That's it, right? Oh, yeah. Sorry. I already started. I am so paranoid about arranging my next one
00:31:44
because I have the ends of part two mixed in with the part ones. There's a lot. That's it.
00:31:49
Yeah. If you want another extra bonus one, go to the fan cult at myfavoritemurder.com.
00:31:55
Jesus. That's correct. Yes. Join the fan cult We both read one extra story a week And I think they all still up there So you get actually a shit ton more stories And thank you You know we were on vacation but clearly you guys did not take a vacation
00:32:07
Yeah. These stories are excellent and beautiful. And we love them all. So thank you.
00:32:13
Thank you. Stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie?
00:32:18
Ah. This has been an Exactly Right production. Our senior producer is Hannah Kyle Crichton.
00:32:31
Our producer is Alejandra Keck. This episode was engineered and mixed by Stephen Ray Morris.
00:32:36
Our researchers are Maren McClashen and Gemma Harris. Email your hometowns and fucking hoorays to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com.
00:32:43
Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and Twitter at My Fave Murder.
00:32:48
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That's stitchfix.com slash murder. Goodbye. Bye. If audiobooks are your thing, or if you've been meaning to listen to more of them,
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you should check out a podcast called Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club, hosted by Cal Penn.
00:34:21
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Goodbye!