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00:01:43
Hello! And welcome to My Favorite Murder. That's Georgia Hardstark. And that's Karen Kilgariff.
00:02:07
And welcome to I Said No Gifts. I'm Bridger Weineger. Yay! Yay. Thank you so much for being here, Bridger.
00:02:15
Oh, thank you for having me. Thrilled to be here. Welcome. Holiday crossover time.
00:02:20
That's right. You're the perfect guest to have as we kick off the holiday season.
00:02:24
Here we are. Bridger, are you ready to kick off the holiday season? Are you ready for the holidays?
00:02:29
I've got a cold. I'm ready for the season. I'm fully prepared. Oh, how fitting. Are you planning on going through the entire winter season with a running nose and a scarf?
00:02:42
and maybe a hot water bottle in your head. No winter outfit is complete without just kind of a mild, horrible cold.
00:02:50
Yeah. That sexy runny nose. I'll have this till early March. Yes. Some dark circles under your eyes.
00:02:57
Just the, that's kind of the look right now. Yeah. It's very chuggy to have a cold.
00:03:05
Absolutely. Now, isn't chuggy bad? Chuggy is cringe, right? Chuggy is trendy and cringy.
00:03:13
Yeah. Okay. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. I mean, I love a suede boot, a knee-high suede boot, you know?
00:03:19
Oh my God, I'm in some right now. And then Bridger just lifts his leg up to his ear so he can see not only his boots, but his full split that he can do at all times.
00:03:31
Even when he's sick. Even when he's this ill. Thank you for being here. I am barely sitting, crawled out of bed into a chair. You two are so lucky to have me.
00:03:43
We really, we so are. Well, because your podcast, I Said No Gifts, which for anyone who hasn't heard
00:03:51
it, God forbid, please go and listen. Bridger has the best guests. The New York Times included
00:03:57
I Said No Gifts on the list of six podcasts for reflection and restoration and called it a
00:04:03
consistently delightful comfort show. Bridger, do you remember that day? Can you walk us through
00:04:07
that day when you saw this unbelievable press in The Grey Lady? I can walk you through that day.
00:04:13
I was in the car with my sister. I was home for the holidays. I about passed away. I couldn't
00:04:20
believe the news. So honored. One of six. That's pretty good. Yeah, I felt very good about it.
00:04:27
Very, very sweet of whoever was in charge of that. And there's something nice when people
00:04:31
make up a category for you. It's not just like top six podcasts to listen to right now. It's like
00:04:37
top six podcasts to listen to when you have this really specific thing going on. That to me,
00:04:44
you know, is a big honor. Yeah. It feels nice to have like that we do something specific.
00:04:48
Yeah. Special. To have a skill. It's true. Your podcast is one I like to listen to in the morning
00:04:53
where it's essentially kind of like you've figured out a way, a structure of a podcast
00:04:59
where you can passive-aggressively confront and fight people that sometimes you've never even met them before.
00:05:06
Frequently. Just strangers that you're picking fights with. I do feel lucky that I, I guess just kind of by accident,
00:05:16
have stumbled into this thing that allows me to do that, that I can bring someone over I've never spoken a word to,
00:05:21
and I am just given the authority to treat them however I want. Yeah. That's power.
00:05:27
It feels incredible. For doing something nice, for bringing you a gift. And you got to get angry at them is a special power for sure.
00:05:35
It's very high level. I never felt so rude in my life than when I brought you a present on the podcast.
00:05:43
Yeah, you both have been on the podcast and you both brought very nice gifts and both almost led to a fight.
00:05:49
Yeah. Georgia you brought me a wonderful little shot glass and a piece of art from the National Park that has a bad Yelp review on it That right And Karen you kind of got scammed let be honest
00:06:05
You bought me a star in outer space. I was ready to hear that it was, and I got you a star, the best.
00:06:14
What more do you want? A piece of the universe? You bought phony real estate. and this is the kind of
00:06:23
passive aggressive stuff you can expect on I said no gifts crackling dialogue of tension and issues
00:06:33
I mean here's the thing maybe I got scammed in terms of that we can't go to Bridger A12
00:06:39
right this second the star I bought you but you did get a certificate I certainly have
00:06:44
it's a beautiful certificate it's a whole yeah it's a whole kit and caboodle it's
00:06:49
There was some real art design put into it. It's several things. There's like a little map that shows you how to get there, which could be completely fake.
00:06:59
We don't know. No. But there's also the chance, we don't know where humankind is headed in the next, well, I think we've got a pretty clear idea of the next 50 years.
00:07:09
But maybe something goes right and we can get to the stars. Then I can claim that little property.
00:07:14
What if your star becomes the only livable planet slash location and it's like, Bridger, you need to save the world.
00:07:24
And then every day is going to be my birthday. Yeah. People are just going to want to be my friend.
00:07:29
That's right. Well, and for almost no investment, the investment of the work on your podcast.
00:07:35
Thank God I started. Thank God because now you're going to be like an intergalactic real estate mogul.
00:07:41
I mean, your children's children's children will be rich. Yeah. That's some generational wealth.
00:07:49
A star. The first time in my family. And how often in your adulthood do you get a chance to be given a certificate?
00:07:56
You know? Oh, of course. Right? Never. Not often. Never. Pretty much. I mean, certificates are kind of really what make the world run because no one knows if
00:08:05
you actually went to that college or got that master's degree. Yeah. It's just a certificate in a frame.
00:08:10
Right. It's all you really need. And look, this is obviously a crossover, and so I think this is fair territory.
00:08:18
I just read this book called The Adversary, which is translated from the French book,
00:08:23
but it's about a guy who murdered his whole family because he lied about going to college
00:08:30
and then working for the World Health Organization. Once everyone found out, he just killed everybody.
00:08:36
Jesus. Oh, my God. I want to read that. It's fascinating. But I really think that when somebody tells you they graduated from college,
00:08:44
especially if it's a romantic partner, you should demand to see the certificate.
00:08:48
Immediately. I think we need to normalize that. I've never seen Vince's certificates.
00:08:53
Yes. That's right. I think we should all second date if they said they went to college,
00:08:58
be like, would you mind showing me the certificate? I think that's perfectly fine.
00:09:03
Where's the diploma? You should have it. You should have it. That's true. I don't have a certificate for college.
00:09:08
You know why? because I didn't go and I don't fucking say I did. There we go. We should have certificates for getting kicked out of college.
00:09:16
That's a great idea. That would be, it's just another way of saying this is what I'm like.
00:09:20
Yeah. You know what I mean? I have a certificate from college. It's from me leaving it.
00:09:25
Yeah. In the middle of a semester. They were like, you didn't pay for parking and you got terrible grades
00:09:31
and you're going to be a failure. And it's like, thank you. I'll take that and use it in my later life, which we both did.
00:09:38
Yeah, I'll put it in my office, motherfuckers, that I have now. I mean, I will say I have no idea where my diploma is.
00:09:47
So I'm setting myself up. What college did you go to, Bridger? University of Utah.
00:09:52
How was it? It was perfectly fine. You know, I'm living in Los Angeles. A lot of people went to very fancy colleges.
00:10:03
and I'm trying to more and more tell myself, state schools are wonderful. Oh, yeah.
00:10:09
I'm thrilled to have gone to a state school. Sure. But living here especially, there's a little bit of embarrassment or something
00:10:15
about having gone to a school that didn't cost $90,000 a semester. But I went to the University of Utah
00:10:22
and it was a perfectly fine college. Well, the older you get, though, it also seems that everyone's evening out.
00:10:27
The people who are bragging about their expensive colleges are at the same party
00:10:32
or in the same writer's room or whatever that you are at this point, right? Right.
00:10:38
Who gives it? And also, I bet you have way less debt than them. What a blessing.
00:10:43
I paid for college while I was in college. I mean, I feel very lucky that way. Yeah, I think the state school graduates are the real winners.
00:10:52
I think so. And community college dropouts. 100%. Yeah. And state school dropouts.
00:10:57
Right, right. Dropouts all over the rainbow. Dropouts of all kinds. So should we talk about,
00:11:06
should we ask you and talk about, get some advice for gift giving this holiday season?
00:11:11
It's everyone's biggest stress. It's the thing that everybody leaves to the last minute
00:11:16
because it's difficult and you want to be perfect and you know you're not going to be.
00:11:21
And I mean, do people come to you all the time asking you for advice about what to give people?
00:11:26
Constantly. And I have so little advice to give them. I mean, I am, through this podcast, am starting to learn what sort of things are good to get as a gift and what sort of things are absolutely terrible to get as a gift.
00:11:43
Especially, like, once you hit 30, like, getting gifts really is kind of a troublesome thing because you already have everything you need.
00:11:52
So if somebody gives you a bad gift, it's now just a burden. And my life has become an enormous my home is just filling with things I don need And you keep every you gotten over 130 gifts right Because you gotten had that many episodes
00:12:05
Do you have a room? Do you keep them? Is Jimmy mad about it? Like what is the deal?
00:12:10
Those are all yes, yes, yes. My garage is filling with gifts. This office I'm currently sitting in is filling with gifts.
00:12:19
My closets are filling with gifts. What's the largest gift you've been given? And like the thing that takes up the most space or is the most irritating to have around.
00:12:29
That's a great question. Let's see. Most of the objects have basically been fairly small.
00:12:36
I'm trying to think. I mean, the most intrusive but helpful is the car garbage can I got, which is always in a passenger space.
00:12:46
But when I don't have passengers, it's fantastic. It's got straw wrappers, receipts.
00:12:50
It's keeping my car clean. So it's actually been, that's like one that you actually use.
00:12:56
There are probably like four gifts out of the 130 or so that I actually use. Tell us, tell us.
00:13:01
And do you also, I have another question. Do you eat the edible gifts or drink them?
00:13:05
Of course. Okay, good. So when a guest brings an edible gift, it's such a blessing.
00:13:11
Because I know I'm going to be able to eat this and dispose of it. I mean, it's not going to be part of my life for longer than a month.
00:13:17
Oh, good. Okay. Maybe that's a really good tip. What are we talking about? Hopefully a week.
00:13:20
I'm not opening a package of food and then slowly eating it over the course of a month.
00:13:25
They're just treating it like I do with bagged salad where you just let it sit there until it liquefies.
00:13:32
Throw it away with the chip clip on it because you're just like, I can't even handle it.
00:13:36
I don't want any part of any of this plan that I was pretending to be helping. I'm trying to think of gifts that I've gotten that are just way too big.
00:13:44
But fortunately, most of my guests are, I mean, they have to bring it or ship it so they don't ship things that are impossibly large.
00:13:53
Like currently behind these sound blankets, I'm going to look really quick. I have shelves full of gifts.
00:13:59
I just want to see what I'm looking at. Oh, yes. Do it. Peruse the actual collection.
00:14:04
I just want to take this moment to say, when you give someone a star as a gift, paper thin, just a certificate.
00:14:10
So thin. Chris Fleming the comedian Chris Fleming gave me a masquerade ball mask
00:14:16
which is oh wow quite large yeah and also kind of fragile so it's like the sort of thing
00:14:22
that I can't just like throw in the closet so like maybe precious precious things
00:14:28
large precious things are difficult okay yeah they're very tricky the demand space
00:14:34
and attention like a masquerade ball which is right it makes people go oh tell me about this
00:14:40
on your wall and you didn't put it there. It was just something someone gave you.
00:14:45
Yes, there's no real story in my life. I didn't go to a fancy event. I wasn't antiquing. Someone
00:14:52
just brought it in a plastic grocery bag and then we talked about it on a podcast.
00:14:59
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00:16:00
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00:16:18
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00:16:37
So let's think of edible. You know, I was going to say like, well, what about something like, you know, the like, you know, fruit of the month club.
00:16:44
But therein lies another problem, which is when someone gives you a gift that has a lot of trash surrounding it.
00:16:51
Like that, those drive me crazy when there's like packing peanuts or something that I now have to dispose of, even though I like the gift.
00:17:00
Right. That's a problem, too. That's a huge problem. I mean, I will say I have really come to love a of-the-month club as a gift.
00:17:08
My sister won me over. She got me a sock of the month club. And it was miraculous.
00:17:13
A whole year of good socks and very minimal packaging because it's a small gift.
00:17:20
I had like a plant of the month club at one point, which was nice. But it was like massive boxes coming to my house.
00:17:25
Right. It was a lot to deal with, but now my house is full of plants. I don't think you can go wrong with an of the month club unless it's like bad food.
00:17:38
You've had food of the month that they have. I'm going to start. Fruitcake of the month club.
00:17:42
Every month is December at the fruitcake of the month club. Rotting food of the month club.
00:17:49
What about like, yeah, or you can do spatula of the month. They really, they get creative with these.
00:17:54
Is there really a spatula of the month No but I want there to be one I mean I was just like how many spatulas could I possibly use Maybe a lot Two I think I think tongs or tongs and chip clips that I mentioned earlier I really big on
00:18:09
I could always use more. How many tongs do you own, Georgia? At least six. Because you always, you know what it is?
00:18:15
It's because I also own an air fryer. Oh, yes. That I use regularly. So I'm constantly tonguing things out in and out and in and out.
00:18:25
She's worn down four pair already. I keep forgetting. I leave them in there and I cook them on accident.
00:18:31
I keep forgetting. Oh. All right. So that's good. So what's a don't? What's another hard don't when it comes to gift giving?
00:18:40
Do you know what a really tricky gift is? Is a book. I think with a book, giving somebody a book is essentially homework.
00:18:48
You have to really know their sensibility and their taste. But giving it to them is not that big of a deal.
00:18:54
But the thing that people need to keep in mind is if you give someone a book, you can never ask them about that book again.
00:19:01
You have to wait for them to come to you because there's a good chance they don't want to read it ever.
00:19:06
Right. And for you to hassle them about it is so unfair. Yeah. So if you're excited about giving someone a book, Godspeed.
00:19:14
But then just forget it ever happened unless they call you up and say, I loved the book.
00:19:21
Okay. And then don't question them about that either because they might be lying.
00:19:24
Right. Then just hang right up. Immediately. The second you hear those words. Thank you.
00:19:29
Hang on. Goodbye. Yeah. Allow them room to lie. Give them space to fabricate whatever they need.
00:19:38
Because a book is such a high-pressure gift. It is. I was going to say, the fix on that gift, though,
00:19:45
if that is the kind of idea that you have about wanting to give this person something,
00:19:51
like you think that's what they'd like. every year my dad gives my sister and I gift certificates to Copperfields Books,
00:19:57
which is the independent bookstore in Petaluma. So then you have a hundred bucks and you can go
00:20:03
get three books or however many, depending on how fancy you get. And then you basically get to do it
00:20:10
for yourself. So it is giving up a little control because there's nothing more fun than convincing
00:20:16
someone to like the thing you like and having that work. But you're right. It almost never works
00:20:21
because no one really likes it when that happens. So just giving the person their own choice
00:20:27
and being like, just in general, I want you to read more. It would help me. I love a bookstore gift card.
00:20:33
I mean, gift cards in general, I love, but a bookstore gift card will stop me in my tracks for years.
00:20:40
I'll go to the bookstore over and over and browse. Are we allowed? I'm curious about that.
00:20:47
I feel like sometimes they're too impersonal. Like what's the rule? Like for parents, I feel like gift cards are great no matter what.
00:20:55
Awesome. But like for a best friend or a loved one or a relationship partner, are we allowed to give gift cards to them?
00:21:02
I am such an advocate. I am trying to, we've got to stop saying that they're too impersonal.
00:21:09
Okay. Everybody, what are we talking about? Everyone loves to get it. Yep. It doesn't cause you any harm.
00:21:15
I mean, maybe the key, though, is to get a gift card to a bookstore, a more specific type thing.
00:21:21
So it feels like, because if I'm given one of these gift cards that's just like one of those debit card-looking ones, I will just slowly spend it on coffee or groceries.
00:21:33
Right. But if it's to a place that has items that I enjoy, it traps me into buying something to treat myself well.
00:21:43
That's a great point. Okay. So bookstores for sure. And then every time you pull that book out, you're going to be like,
00:21:48
oh, this is the one that basically my dad got me or whatever. Right. Yeah. Okay. I like that.
00:21:54
It's almost like it's okay if you're going to give that person other gifts. It's not your one
00:21:59
and only. Okay. Right? So that there's other... Or no, Bridget, you're saying no.
00:22:04
I mean, I'm shaking my head. You can give me as many gift cards as you want. You don't have
00:22:08
to get me any other items. I think we've got to just, I think you can just do gift cards.
00:22:15
Okay. What about pressing a $50 bill into someone's hand? Do you like that? Oh my God, the power.
00:22:23
I call it the Uncle John move. Just press a little cash into someone's hand and wink at them as you
00:22:28
walk away. Hell yeah. My brother just had a baby and I have now enough nieces and nephews that I think I'm converting
00:22:38
into the uncle who gives money. I can't think about gifts for everybody. It's too much.
00:22:43
And like trying to remember what everybody's interested in, you're getting $50. Oh, yeah.
00:22:48
Once they get a certain age, especially, and they understand that a $50 is like more than a $20 bill
00:22:54
because they can count. Oh my God. You're the coolest uncle in the world. Of course.
00:23:00
The greatest. We did a... I can't remember what it's called. It wasn't a secret Santa,
00:23:05
but it was like a white elephant like holiday party thing at work one time. And I didn't, I forgot to do it. So I just went and got
00:23:13
$300 cash and stuck it in an envelope. It was the one where you get to go and pick and then,
00:23:18
but if you want to trade with other people, you can trade. You know, that's a white elephant,
00:23:22
right? Yeah. When everyone ends up in a fight because there was one good gift and the rest
00:23:26
is garbage. Because there was $300 cash that Karen put into an envelope. That's the most fun.
00:23:31
That's like, you know That is rad Who doesn't want money? That's the gift that always hits
00:23:38
Absolutely Right, and you rarely Like, you really don't see large bills Like, you rarely see cash anymore
00:23:44
So it's just a fun thing to get Yeah I will say, when I was a kid We had one, like, uncle
00:23:50
Who every Christmas Or, sorry, Christmas Never at Christmas Every Hanukkah Would give every child a $2
00:23:57
A crisp, clean, fresh $2 bill And they would have That, I'm telling you, one, everyone,
00:24:02
it didn't matter that it was less than you were also getting from your grandma. The $2 bill was like the thing
00:24:07
we all looked forward to every year. It's just such a fun novelty. Yeah, it was very fun.
00:24:12
Yes. Bridger, is there a foolproof gift that you think like would work for anyone?
00:24:17
I guess maybe it is the bookstore gift card. Bookstore's pretty good. We'll put that like up on the list.
00:24:23
I mean, restaurant gift cards to like a good, but you've got to do some research.
00:24:28
Chili's. So, Chili's. Chili's across the board. If you can't find something at Chili's,
00:24:36
just shut your mouth. I'm getting chicken crispers. No. I'm getting the bottomless salsa and chips.
00:24:44
You can give me any gift card, any restaurant gift card. I will make use of it. But I do think
00:24:49
a restaurant gift card, if you do a little light research, you look at... I mean, well,
00:24:55
it's hard with Yelp anymore even because... Can I make a suggestion? Yes, let's hear it.
00:25:00
Benihana. It's like a weird vacation. It's an experience. It's like a weird, it's a special occasion unto itself.
00:25:07
Although I will say the last time I was at Benihana was junior prom and I got diarrhea.
00:25:12
Oh, I'm sorry. You should have ordered better. Were you nervous? Absolutely not.
00:25:19
Nervous to be around a girl? It was the least of my problems. I know I haven't been to Benihana since I was a kid either.
00:25:29
How about Medieval Times? Do they have gift cards from Medieval Times? How fun would that be?
00:25:33
They must, right? Do people still go to that, ironically? They must. And give enough on that one so they can buy merch as well.
00:25:40
You can walk away with a t-shirt. Oh, yeah. A photo with one of the winning night.
00:25:46
Oh, is that a thing you can get there? Probably. A meet and greet? I've never actually been to Medieval Times.
00:25:51
Neither have I. It was pretty great. Was it the one in Southern California or somewhere else?
00:25:58
Southern California. Yeah. I was supposed to go there one time. And then when we got there, we had called ahead to make sure they didn't use strobe lights.
00:26:07
And then when we got there, we walked up to the ticket counter area. And there was a printed up piece of paper taped to the window that said,
00:26:16
we use strobe lights. So if you have epilepsy, you can't come to the show. I was like, sorry, everybody.
00:26:22
Karen. What do they need strobe lights for? The winning princes and jousters. They did not have strobe lights in the actual medieval times.
00:26:34
Right. Right? Yeah. Yeah. I'm willing to bet there were no strobe lights. I would bet you.
00:26:39
There was none. But they did have Pepsi. Absolutely. Do you know what I love? I genuinely think it's a good gift is a robe.
00:26:49
Oh. My mom gets us those a lot. and they're really big and really fluffy and take up a lot of space and are personalized
00:26:57
so you can't throw them away or give them away. I have a hard time. Can I say slippers instead?
00:27:05
Can I suggest slippers? Oh, slippers are great too. Yeah. Does your mom give you the kind of robes
00:27:10
that tie at the waist? Is it a tie robe? It's the big fluffy ones that you need when you live in like Michigan,
00:27:16
not when you live in Southern California. So I'm like, sorry, I'm really stressed out
00:27:20
about robes at this point in my life. It's literally 90 degrees outside. It is. And this year she did one where she put my initials,
00:27:28
but she used Vince's last name, which isn't my last name, which I find kind of offensive and passive aggressive.
00:27:35
It's slightly sexist. It's slightly sexist and passive aggressive. So now I have this passive aggressive big fluffy robe
00:27:41
I'm never going to wear. Put it on. Put it on and enjoy yourself. Stay warm. Go ahead.
00:27:49
No, I was just going to say, sometimes, like I was looking through, I think it was like L.L. Bean or something.
00:27:57
And they had all these robes that were, like, I feel like, especially since quarantine, people have really been focusing on like at-home coziness.
00:28:07
And like that, they've realized they can make money off of that if they actually give that the proper attention.
00:28:13
So there was some robe that was like, it was like a turtleneck robe with a front pocket.
00:28:19
And it was like fuzzy on the inside. And I almost bought them for all like the girls in the family.
00:28:26
And then I was just like, they won't, because in the moment, I was probably cold.
00:28:31
I probably had the air conditioner on too high. And so then I was like, ooh, this would be so nice if we were like in Tahoe or whatever.
00:28:37
And it's like, then I kind of snapped out of it. Like, nobody wants you to make that decision for them.
00:28:43
For their cozy clothes. Hey, that's exactly right. That is exactly it. Yeah. Sorry to shoot your present down.
00:28:50
But the thing about, I'm going to keep defending it. The thing about cozy clothes is they're gratuitous no matter what.
00:28:57
So like the thing Karen's bringing up, it's like, well, now I've just got this thing that
00:29:01
it's kind of gravy no matter what. So why not go for it? And slippers are also like, I guess, a slightly lower stakes version of it.
00:29:11
And that's how I feel is slippers. And I'm a big slipper person. But I mean, are slippers like you have to pick your own?
00:29:20
Like everyone, it's not like, are they a, what is it called? When people are really specific about what kind of slipper they like.
00:29:27
I like being picky about slippers. It's like, who cares? If they feel good on your feet.
00:29:33
Yeah. Well, yes, that's the key because there's some slippers that are made that are like,
00:29:37
look, it's SpongeBob SquarePants or whatever. But then the footbed is really cushy and your foot slides off either side.
00:29:46
Have you ever worn those ones? Mm-hmm. When your ankle just gives out or whatever.
00:29:50
When you just fall apart over the holidays. But like there some that aren constructed well as a shoe They just kind of supposed to be for like sitting around them Yeah isotoners Baby Remember those
00:30:05
Maybe instead of a robe, a blanket. So it's like if you want to be – because my sister and I do that a lot.
00:30:12
Here's a cozy blanket where it's like you're trying to find the newest like microfiber that's like the silkiest.
00:30:19
I have one right now. Yeah. Then it's not a piece of clothing to be cozy with. but it's like a thing.
00:30:25
See, now I'm going to argue against that because I feel like with a blanket, you're getting into home decor,
00:30:30
which is really tricky territory. Shit. Have you heard of the color oatmeal? Grage.
00:30:39
You know the color grage? Grage. Yeah, if I'm given an ugly blanket, where do I hide that?
00:30:48
Shit, you're right. Same thing with the candle. I've gotten so many rose-scented candles
00:30:53
that I just want to throw out through the window because immediately your house smells like rose.
00:30:59
But they're like nice candles. I mean, you just put it away and you can re-gift that easily.
00:31:04
You can re-gift that. Oh, very good point. We got a fancy candle last year. The big one?
00:31:10
That was gigantic. Yes. Gigantic. And it smelled, it was just a smell I couldn't handle.
00:31:16
Yeah. So it was really expensive. It was really fancy. And I was just like, I can't have this in my,
00:31:22
even up in my cupboard for later. What was the sale? I'm thinking of the same candle.
00:31:27
It's like some fucking fancy-ass floral rich lady candle that we got from, you know...
00:31:34
A generous, well-meaning person. Right. I'm thinking for that same candle. Right.
00:31:40
Erase, erase, erase. Yeah. Do you two have any other memorable, horrible gifts you've been given?
00:31:48
I have one that I almost gave you. Oh, really? When I was on the show. but I wanted to give you something good.
00:31:53
What is it? Do you ever get a gift from someone that you're like, oh, you don't know me at all and you should?
00:31:59
Oh, yeah. This vase I got that someone gave it to me, like a close coworker gave it to me
00:32:07
that should have known me better than to give it to me. It was the ugliest thing I've ever seen in my life.
00:32:13
Everyone who sees it is like, oh my God, this is hideous. And they left the price tag on and it was $200.
00:32:19
Oh my God. So I couldn't get rid of it. Karen, what were you thinking? I just wanted to spend and spend.
00:32:28
And I think it was a re-gift. And I feel like the price tag was left on it on purpose.
00:32:33
To make me think that they spent a lot of money and our relationship deteriorated after that.
00:32:38
It was like a working relationship, but it was like a friendship. Karen, have you gotten any horrible gifts?
00:32:44
Well, that actually made me think when I was... I think I was like a freshman in high school.
00:32:49
My parents sold the house we were living in, and they were building the house that my dad
00:32:54
lives in now. And so there was a strange four to six-month period where we lived at my Aunt Jean's house.
00:33:02
And while we were there, and my Aunt Dorothy was there too, and my Aunt Dorothy was not
00:33:08
related to us. And she was like a great aunt. She was an older lady. She loved to shop, and she was a kind of minor hoarder, but not just of anything.
00:33:18
It was like of gifts. So she would buy things when they were on sale, like at Macy's or JCPenney, and just keep them so that she was always ready on like a holiday.
00:33:27
But they weren't for you in particular. It was just she would grab from like the pile.
00:33:32
So while we were living there, we went through a couple holidays, like, you know, Valentine's Day.
00:33:39
Like in Valentine's Day, I walked out. My sister walked out first, and she got an earring and necklace set that was like from Mervyn's, where it was the chevron shape.
00:33:49
So it looked like it was from like 15 years before. And she's like, thank you. And then I walked out and she just handed me a $20 bill.
00:33:58
So yeah, that's the, other than that, I think, yeah, that was her passion in life.
00:34:05
And so she was kind of passing it on to everybody else. Can I reveal something to you too?
00:34:11
Yes, please. I never get anyone gifts. I'm going to get Karen and Georgia gifts.
00:34:16
And I've been, we've known we were going to do this for months. So I've had plenty of time to think about this.
00:34:22
And of course, I didn't start thinking about it until I was in New York traveling.
00:34:27
And just went into a full panic about what I was going to get you to. Finally decided on something, I think Wednesday night.
00:34:36
A different thing for each of you. And so this morning came around and Karen, for you, I ordered a heart-shaped locket with a K on it, which I've planned to put a lock of hair in.
00:34:52
And I clipped a little bit of my hair off and put it in the locket and said to myself, what are you doing?
00:35:00
This is the scariest possible gift you could give anyone. My favorite thing I've ever heard.
00:35:04
So I'm certainly not giving it to you. You better. Oh, my God. Yes, you have to.
00:35:14
It's such a scary thing to give. Yeah. I'm not scared. My eyes are wide open, and I accept this gift freely.
00:35:23
Obviously, and so then, Georgia, what I was going to send you was a $6 digital gift card to PF Chang's.
00:35:32
I was like, what am I doing? Well, who wins when I said PF Chang's just gets $6?
00:35:39
I feel like you were on Ambien when you picked both of these things. Well, further with the digital gift card, you get to customize them.
00:35:46
So I thought I downloaded a photo of Caraba's Italian grill and uploaded it to the PF Chang's gift card.
00:35:55
Just creating the most confusing possible gift card you could ever get Wow Thank you Bridger I honored What can you get at P Chang for
00:36:05
I feel like you can get a drink and then you're basically getting $2 off of lettuce wraps.
00:36:10
Yeah. So you have to invest. Yeah. You get that card. It becomes just a sinkhole.
00:36:16
It's the opposite of a gift, I think. It's a multi-level marketing scheme. I have to give him $5.99 for it
00:36:23
And then I get a $6 gift card That's so good Thank you, that's very thoughtful Yeah, that's just the result of
00:36:33
Like being extremely tired And then drinking a lot of coffee And then panicking about what to get people
00:36:40
And so neither of you are going to get the gift Don't ask I mean, I do have I've got the locket right here.
00:36:50
I can show you. Just so you know, I'm not lying. Did you get it in New York? No, I ordered it.
00:36:57
And the reviews said it's cheap and can break easily. Yes. Oh, and it's big. Well, you have to give to her.
00:37:05
It's a big, beautiful, heart-shaped locket. It's gigantic. It's enormous. There must be a lot of hair.
00:37:09
What if you just had a bald patch on the back of his head before cutting off all his...
00:37:13
I show up on the Zoom and my head is completely shaved. he gave me a silver container of his hair all his hair it literally looks like what the
00:37:24
wizard of oz gave the tin man it's gigantic hey bridger tell us what's on your holiday
00:37:31
wish list this year do you have any actual things that you really really want that's a great question
00:37:37
i i've gotten to a point i mean it is kind of like especially with my boyfriend jim he's always
00:37:42
He's always so well-intentioned, but it fights with me being picky and having very particular interests.
00:37:49
And so I've gotten to the point where I'm just like, please just give me a gift card to something.
00:37:55
I'll figure it out. I always like a nice jacket. If somebody can find me a cool jacket,
00:38:02
that's the tops. But I've only gotten two cool jackets and they're both from the same person.
00:38:09
So maybe no one else should give me a jacket this holiday season. You've got like a friend
00:38:15
who's a jacket giver. A good jacket giver? I do have a friend who's a jacket giver
00:38:19
and he's got a great eye. It's the comedian Matt Ingebrigtsen. Oh, yeah. Well, actually,
00:38:27
the first jacket he had bought at a yard sale and he was planning to give to someone else
00:38:31
and I bullied him into giving it to me. Nice. So now we're kind of in a pattern where he gives me jackets.
00:38:36
Nice. I don't know. What are you two thinking about for the holidays? What would you like to get?
00:38:40
Hmm. Hmm. Well, I just bought some of Lady Gaga's lip liners off of TikTok because that's where I'm at right now.
00:38:50
And I have to say she's done an amazing job. They're really good colors. They're lip liners and lipsticks.
00:38:57
They look like pens. They work kind of like pens. And the lipstick stays on for a really long time.
00:39:04
And $1 of every purchase goes toward mental health support for people. Oh, that's wonderful.
00:39:13
Some kind of a charity. I know. So at first I bought it in that way that I buy things off TikTok because they have it down to like basically you're pressing one button and it's all being like you don't have to fill anything out.
00:39:26
You kind of watch an ad. You touch a thing. Yeah, it's very dangerous. Too easy.
00:39:30
Yeah. It's crazy. so I guess I'm looking for I think I'm on a quest for like the perfect lip stain that doesn't come off
00:39:42
but I think Lady Gaga is very close in these lipsticks that she has created that was my old one
00:39:49
but that just happened like I got these lip liners they're three days ago and I've literally showed people
00:39:55
who have come over to my house that's how exciting I think it is like she's really done a great job
00:40:01
Because there's so many celebrity things that are kind of shitty. And it's just like, oh, they're just making this perfume, whatever.
00:40:08
They're just doing it to... Mariah Carey cookies. Oh, my God. Remember that? Mariah Carey cookies?
00:40:14
Mariah Carey has a cookie shop in Universal City. And we had a game night one night.
00:40:20
So I thought it'd be funny if I ordered cookies from Mariah Carey's. Yes. And you know Bridger is very passionate about cookies.
00:40:28
He's a big baker. and cookies are his jam. And we ordered these cookies and I was just like,
00:40:35
I don't think Ryan knows what's happening in her name. They were, there was like a lot of cranberry.
00:40:41
There was a lot of like, they were very flat. It just wasn't. Ew. They were flat,
00:40:46
but still somehow kind of slimy. Ew. It was very off. Yeah. And the only reason I got them
00:40:55
was of course, with that, a celebrity's name was on them. So I was like, well, I want to be involved in this, assuming that that would mean quality.
00:41:03
I don't know why. Mariah feels like somebody who would know good cookies. I feel like she's kind of classy and fun.
00:41:09
Yeah, absolutely. It doesn't make sense. It's like she doesn't have to do any side business.
00:41:15
Right. She doesn't have to do anything ever again. So why do one poorly? Right. I wonder if we should bleep out her name.
00:41:24
Do you think this is bad? This is a bad... No, disparaging. Can you say they were allegedly bad?
00:41:30
You know, it's in my opinion, because some people love flat cookies with white chocolate chips in them.
00:41:36
This is a cookie review. It's a cookie review, and it's honest. It's just like a restaurant review.
00:41:41
It's cookie corner. Bridger, what if you got like a baking set? Well, anything to do with baking or obviously like there,
00:41:51
and I think this is a good gift for anybody. There are like good bakeries around the country who will ship their cookies that such a luxury to get like I mean because it expensive to get a dozen cookies shipped from across the country But if you do it for a friend
00:42:06
what a fun thing to get. Yeah, and do it while you're there so you can eat them too.
00:42:10
Oh, yeah. Right? Oh, yeah. You know what a good gift would be too is a class, like a baking class.
00:42:16
I wonder if they're like starting those up back again. They must. Yeah. I've taken cooking classes before
00:42:23
in like a little group setting and those are really fun. Did you feel like you learned?
00:42:26
Absolutely. Like knife skills and like how to cook this specific like dish. But you learn how to like
00:42:32
take apart a chicken and like chop this better than you used to know how. I definitely learned.
00:42:39
That's a fantastic, wonderful gift. That does sound good. I'm sure they still have those
00:42:43
going on. How much do you weigh, Wanda? Right now, I'm about 130. I'm at 183. We should race.
00:42:50
No, I want to leave here with my original hips. On the podcast, the matchup with Aliyah, I pair prominent female athletes with unexpected guests. On a recent
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Open your free iHeartRadio app, search the matchup with Aliyah and listen now. Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports Network.
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00:43:49
Season 2 podcast. This is a story about a horrendous lie that destroyed two families.
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was sentenced to 99 years until a confession changed everything. I was a monster.
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Listen to Burden of Guilt Season 2 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
00:44:15
you get your podcasts. Bridger, have you ever participated in Black Friday shopping?
00:44:22
I have not. I haven't sincerely participated. I went to one to observe. Just a few years ago, I was back home and I was bored after Thanksgiving. I was like,
00:44:34
there was nothing to do around the house. I was like, I want to go to Walmart and just see what's
00:44:38
happening. And it was, of course, completely out of control. I mean, people crying,
00:44:47
just a bizarre mob experience. And it was fun for me because I wasn't after any deal. I was just
00:44:56
there to see what the deal was, just kind of wander around the store while people are attacking each
00:45:02
other. I recommend that. Have either of you ever been Black Friday shopping? never have. Absolutely not. I'm kind of surprised you don't, Karen, just because you have the family
00:45:11
traditions and stuff like that. I'm surprised you guys never did that. I find it very depressing
00:45:17
because it's very unfair to be like, oh, here's your one chance to get a flat screen TV,
00:45:23
but you have to basically like wrestle for it. There's a grossness to it. Everyone knows that,
00:45:29
But yeah, I just think I kind of have that like turn away, don't acknowledge. But it just feels, I mean, if it were fun, if there was a way you could, there could be a rule, especially in 2022 America, where it's like, you can't be here, you can't hit anybody. You can't, like you get what you get and then that's it.
00:45:52
If there was that kind of like mid early 90s decency happening where people would be like, oh, that's the last one.
00:45:59
You were here first. Then it would be delightful because you would see people getting a TV for 50 bucks that they couldn't get otherwise.
00:46:08
But it isn't like that. Like those videos that you see on YouTube or whatever of people running in the door is a nightmare.
00:46:15
I can't imagine. I don't like going to the fucking mall when it's like a Monday afternoon, let alone Black Friday morning.
00:46:23
I'll eat bay. Well, I feel like this year, like August 1st, they started saying it's Black Friday season.
00:46:29
So it just feels like it doesn't even mean anything anymore. Oh, good. Well, especially with shopping online, like that kind of thing where it's, yeah, I feel like people know what the prices are, could possibly be.
00:46:41
So it's not like, yeah, people have kind of gotten much better at gaming the system instead of being gamed themselves.
00:46:49
I worked at a Best Buy on a Black Friday during college and oh my God, what an experience.
00:46:55
Oh no. That must have been hideous. Showing up to work at Best Buy at three in the morning and standing at the cash register for 12 hours.
00:47:04
Just bringing up discount computer after discount computer. And then the manager was like trying to hype everybody up in the morning and comparing it to being at war.
00:47:14
It was just like, what is happening? No. It was crazy. Oh, my God. Hey, speaking of your hometown, do you, and since this is a crossover episode, do you have any hometown stories that you want to tell us about, Bridger?
00:47:30
I have a fun historical hometown I'd like to talk about. Nice. It requires a little bit of context just because it involves the grandson of Brigham Young,
00:47:43
the Mormon prophet, who was the second Mormon prophet who had 50 wives, I think about 60 children, 200 grandchildren.
00:47:54
Oh, my God. Whoa. So when you have that many offspring, One of them is bound to end up being a murderer.
00:48:02
True, yeah. So I think it was in 1902, this woman's body was found in a canal in New Jersey,
00:48:09
like weighted down. It had stab wounds, bruises, all this. And the thing that was weighted to her was connected to a buggy rental in New York.
00:48:20
And so that buggy rental was then connected to an apartment in New York that had four Mormon missionaries living in it.
00:48:29
And it was, I believe the apartment was actually owned by, I want to say Brigham Young's son,
00:48:36
but he was in Europe at the time. Brigham Young's grandson was kind of like all over the country.
00:48:42
His name was William Hooper Young. So there's a bloody shirt in the apartment, all this stuff.
00:48:46
And it was kind of this sensational news story about like these Mormon. Oh, and there was also a notebook with like scriptures in it about blood atonement.
00:48:57
Like the phrase blood atonement. So they're like, what happened to this woman? And it came to be that this guy, William Hooper Young, Brigham Young's grandson, had hired this woman. I believe her name was Anna Pulitzer. She was a sex worker, had brought her back to the apartment, but didn't have money. So he tried to knock her out with like chloral hydrate, I believe is what it's called, or like called knockout drops or whatever.
00:49:23
He knocked her out and thought he had killed her. And in thinking that, he started to dismember her.
00:49:31
And that's what killed her. Oh, no. So dark, so terrible. He gets rid of her, ships all of her belongings to a fake address in Chicago.
00:49:41
And then he went under, I guess undercover is not the word, but disguised himself and escaped to New Jersey.
00:49:48
but was eventually caught and pled guilty, I believe. Only served 20 years in prison.
00:49:56
But it's just such a bizarre, weird story. And the whole blood atonement thing is really odd.
00:50:03
Yeah. But yeah, Mormon history has all these kind of dark spots in it. And this is a kind of weird one to me.
00:50:12
Yeah. Yeah. Never heard of that. That is very dark and old-timey. Yeah. But also, well, I was just going to say,
00:50:21
that idea that he hires a sex worker thinks he killed her. Yeah. Like, thinks he killed her, then dismembers her.
00:50:28
That sounds like a current horror movie. Yeah. Totally. It's so not 1902 to hear that element of it.
00:50:36
It just like oh no I know Horrifying I do feel like I mean and you two probably know more about this than I do but like basically before 1950
00:50:47
people really needed to figure out if someone was dead before they got rid of them or not.
00:50:52
Yeah. Human history is littered with, we think they're dead, but let's get rid of them.
00:50:57
Oh, those stories are so creepy. Like putting a bell in a coffin so you can ring the bell.
00:51:04
if you're alive yeah you can still see graves that have bells on them or just in case
00:51:09
the person was buried alive they can ring the bell to get Doug back up of course
00:51:14
yeah then they'd start decomposing and the bell would ring oh and aren't there like stories of
00:51:21
like uh coffins with like claw marks on the mansion is that real no yes it is did I
00:51:27
absolutely terrifying well hey yeah that's how about Let's end on something positive.
00:51:35
Bridger, do you have any family holiday traditions or do you have any ones that you've adopted in your adulthood?
00:51:42
The one tradition that my boyfriend, Jim, won't leave me alone about at this point is that
00:51:47
I think the last two Christmases we've been home in Utah, he and I have, on Christmas Day,
00:51:53
have ended up eating at McDonald's. And it's so bleak and so sad. So not a, I like that.
00:52:01
Not a positive tradition. It's certainly, it's absolutely a tradition, but that's, for whatever reason, at least in my family, like on Christmas Day, the festivities are over by 11 a.m., and then it's just cheer boredom, no plans, nothing.
00:52:17
It's like, what are we doing? There's nothing to eat for dinner. So then Jim and I end up sitting across from each other in a booth at McDonald's with like one other extremely sad person.
00:52:28
In my defense, I think Jim loves it. I think he loves being at McDonald's. Sure.
00:52:33
That's his Christmas wish It's his little treat, right? So that kind of has accidentally become a tradition in the family
00:52:43
Otherwise, my mom will get us pajamas That's nice Yeah I love to decorate a cookie
00:52:50
I love to frost a cookie I've got to get some better traditions People have so many good traditions
00:52:57
Do either of you have holiday traditions? Georgia, do you have any? Well, let's see
00:53:01
Vince and I, we do the one present the night before Christmas. We have my family's Hanukkah party.
00:53:09
And for that, our tradition is that we get Cantor's deli catering. So that to me, that's like the best.
00:53:16
No one's cooking. There no like you know we did the Thanksgiving turkey whole setup thing where everyone had to cook And now we just get to eat big old roast beef or corned beef sandwiches Oh that sounds wonderful Nice
00:53:29
You know, from a deli. That is my favorite. Yeah, it's really good. Karen, what about you?
00:53:35
I guess the thing I love the most, it's not like a tradition, but it's almost like in the
00:53:40
most recent years, my family and the hospitars, my aunt Jean, who's the one whose house we
00:53:46
lived at and my cousin Stevie and then Adrian's family. We kind of have come together around the
00:53:54
holidays in this way where we realized it's all the people we like hanging out with. So as opposed
00:53:59
to like what you're supposed to do with your family or like that kind of extended family
00:54:04
feeling, it's just like, oh no, we're definitely going to be making plans because we all have the
00:54:09
most fun together. So it's kind of nice, not that we don't adore our actually like blood relatives,
00:54:15
or anything because we see them too, that it's really fun to be doing something, to be really
00:54:22
looking forward to the holiday party as opposed to you have to go because this is the family event.
00:54:29
So that's kind of fun. And then my sister started doing this thing where she just gets all of the
00:54:34
girls a present that's all the same thing. So that one year she got everybody chicken socks
00:54:41
and their thigh-high chicken leg. I can't explain it. They look like chicken legs.
00:54:48
I put it on Twitter. So every year someone tries to get all the other women a weird gift that everyone can wear
00:54:56
because there's teenage girls and now some of them are in college and some are out of college.
00:55:00
So it's just kind of cute. That's cute. Everyone gets a matching weird thing. I love that.
00:55:06
It's kind of nice when you realize as an adult that you don't have to do all of the same holiday things you did.
00:55:13
Like for Thanksgiving, I no longer go home. We just go to Palm Springs and it's so easy.
00:55:19
It's just like, oh, you can just choose to do what you enjoy. Yeah, then it's an actual holiday.
00:55:23
Right. And you're truly having exactly the time you want to have. Celebration, a real one.
00:55:29
Yeah. This has been a real celebration having you on, Bridger. We appreciate it so much.
00:55:34
Well, I really appreciate it. And I'm sorry that neither of you will be getting a gift.
00:55:39
But I'm glad we were able to talk. Oh, I'm getting that rocket. Yeah, I'm getting that.
00:55:42
I'll drive over to your house. Try it out of my head. That's a $6 gift card. That's right.
00:55:46
It's happening. We'll get them out of you. So go check out I Said No Gifts, of course.
00:55:51
The guests are amazing and hilarious. Bridger's had Weird Al, Bowen Yang, Darcy Carden, Sam Richardson.
00:55:57
So many great guests. And while you there remember to like review and subscribe to I Said No Gifts please It makes a huge difference We know that people talk about that all the time but when you actually hit those stars on the podcast app
00:56:12
you are actually helping people and their numbers, like following and subscribing and reviewing,
00:56:18
all that stuff is so helpful. So please remember to do it when you're there. And Bridger, thank you so much
00:56:24
for all your wonderful advice and guidance and happy holidays. Happy holidays to you too, all my love.
00:56:31
Thank you, Bridger. Elvis, do you want a cookie? This has been an Exactly Right production.
00:56:44
Our senior producer is Hannah Kyle Crichton. Our producer is Alejandra Keck. This episode was engineered by Stephen Ray Morris and mixed by John Bradley.
00:56:53
Our researchers are Maren McClashen and Gemma Harris. Email your hometowns and fucking hoorays to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com.
00:57:00
Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at MyFavoriteMurder and on Twitter at MyFaveMurder.
00:57:05
Goodbye! Your husband is not who you think he is. Your body is not what you thought it was.
00:57:18
Your identity is formed by a secret history. I'm Dani Shapiro, and these are just a few of the stunning stories I'll be exploring on the 14th season of Family Secrets.
00:57:29
He kind of shoved me out of the way and said, move. And he went out the front door and he jumped in a car and drove off.
00:57:35
And that was the last time I saw him. Listen to season 14 of Family Secrets on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:57:44
When a group of women discover they've all dated the same prolific con artist, they take matters into their own hands.
00:57:52
I vowed I will be his last target. He is not going to get away with this. He's going to get what he deserves.
00:57:59
We always say that, trust your girlfriends. Listen to The Girlfriends. Trust me, babe.
00:58:06
On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you live in LA, you already spend about 89% of your life in a car.
00:58:20
So we turned it into a podcast. On Do You Need a Ride? We pick up our comedian friends, drive around Los Angeles,
00:58:26
and discuss what's happening in the world around us. Cars are very rude to bicyclists, but in this case, it's a bicyclist going out of his way to get in the way of traffic.
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All you did was roll your window down. He almost hit that. It's like a talk show, but going 30 miles an hour.
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New episodes every Monday on the Exactly Right Network. Listen to Do You Need a Ride on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.