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Hello. And welcome. To My Favorite Murder. The Minisode. That's right. It's the mini-sode.
00:01:57
This is your-sode. You're a real big part of it. Do you want to go first on this one?
00:02:03
Cookie's staring at me, really concerned looking, and I don't know what's wrong with her.
00:02:09
Ask her what her concern is. She always looks concerned. She's got those eyebrows.
00:02:14
Okay. How not to hire a hitman. It just starts, good morning, good morning, good morning.
00:02:21
There's a fun, quirky little Pinterest saying that goes something like, insanity does not run in the family. Rather, it strolls through taking its time, getting to know
00:02:30
everyone personally. When I tell you that this describes my family perfectly, I am not kidding.
00:02:36
From the time my grandfather's mother-in-law and ex-wife were murdered three days after their
00:02:41
divorce, then it says he didn't do it, to the time my grandma ghosted the heir to a mafia family
00:02:47
after he proposed to her, probably for the best, I tend to have excellent stories to tell at parties.
00:02:54
But my favorite story to share is about my great aunt, Janet. Everyone always says that Janet used to be popular, beautiful, and smart, but for reasons
00:03:02
that no one ever seemed to want to tell me, but which will shortly become obvious, she
00:03:06
had been cut off from most of the family since before I was born. As I got older and my family got a little looser with our sordid family history, things
00:03:14
started to make a bit more sense. To make a long and painful story short, Janet went fully off the deep end, to the point
00:03:21
that though we can't prove it, my family is fully convinced that she killed her own mother,
00:03:25
my grandma. Everyone in my family disowned her. Because she's the unpleasant kind of crazy,
00:03:31
Janet's husband promptly divorced her ass after my great-grandmother's death. Janet was less than pleased with this. Obviously, there's only one thing left for her to do.
00:03:40
So she packed up her things, moved to a new apartment building, and hired her janitor to
00:03:45
kill her ex-husband. Not an expert killer, literally just the guy from her building meant
00:03:51
to fix the plumbing and occasionally repaint shit. I guess his maintenance job didn't pay very well
00:03:55
because he agreed. Janet gave the guy explicit instructions to make sure it looked like an accident
00:04:01
so that she could collect the $4 million life insurance policy that she had on her ex-husband.
00:04:06
That doesn't seem right. That it's so much money? Yeah, red flag. Yeah, I mean. The janitor kept the money that she gave him,
00:04:14
but thankfully never actually hired anyone. Maybe the landlord gave him a raise or maybe his conscience intervened
00:04:20
since he ended up going to the police and agreeing to appear as a witness on her trial.
00:04:24
And that's where the story should end. However, while awaiting trial, Janet approached a fellow inmate
00:04:29
and because she is apparently a one-trick pony, tried to hire them to kill the janitor who was testifying.
00:04:35
Oh no, no. You know, because hiring a hitman worked out so well the first time. The fellow inmate was apparently due to be released
00:04:43
before Janet's trial and she offered them an insane amount of money to kill the janitor
00:04:47
as well as her ex-husband's new wife. The inmate reported all of this in order to get time off of their own sentence.
00:04:54
Since that didn't work out for Janet, she decided to try something exciting and new and different.
00:04:59
She approached another inmate and tried to hire them to do the same thing. This time targeting both of her attempted hires, her ex, and her ex's wife.
00:05:09
That's right. The list just keeps going. Because apparently even in contract killing, the third time's the charm.
00:05:16
Thankfully, they reported her to the guards again, and Janet was successfully charged with
00:05:20
two counts of first-degree felony criminal solicitation, and one of her attorneys was
00:05:25
even allegedly disbarred. Over the course of the case, she attempted to hire three different hitmen to kill over
00:05:31
four people before being sentenced to life. As far as I'm aware, she's finally left her hitmen hiring ways behind her, but I'm going
00:05:38
to keep an eye out anyways. Stay sexy and don't hire hitmen, Liza. Liza, it's heavy shit. But it also reminds me of my tendency where I'm just like,
00:05:50
I really stressed and tired so I going to eat macaroni and cheese I know it not going to work but I going to do it anyway It works a little bit It works for the first 15 minutes But it that same thing where you just like oh my God I fucked everything up
00:06:06
Hit me. Let me hire a eight minutes. That's not the solution to anything. No. And it's just so crazy to me that people would be like, my family is so crazy.
00:06:14
And then you just pull out, that's your aunt and that's their story. Like, okay, you win.
00:06:18
My family is not that crazy. That's right. My family just like really likes cats.
00:06:22
We don't try to get people killed. I mean, it's context. It's context. Okay. Couldn't pass by. This one is also a little
00:06:31
bit long, but I couldn't pass by this headline. From your Japanese murderino, which I love how
00:06:37
that's phrased. There's just the one. Love it. Love her. I was recruited by the Aum Shinrikyo
00:06:42
cult. Right? And it starts, Konichiwa, Georgia and Karen. I really enjoy your podcast from Japan
00:06:48
and have learned a lot about American true crime and culture. Oh, no. Wow. Teaching people.
00:06:55
Through this show. Oops. We are very cultured. We are. Mm-hmm. I particularly liked the recent episode about Aum Shinrikyo.
00:07:05
I was impressed that you covered a lot of details that even Japanese people might not know.
00:07:10
Oh, Karen. Well, that's Maren. Maren McClashen is the researcher. I can't take credit because she did an unbelievable job reporting that. I want to take credit.
00:07:20
Do it. Do it. When the terrorist attack occurred in 1995, I was still a university student. Actually,
00:07:27
I worked part-time a few days a week at one of the affected train stations. Wow.
00:07:32
Wow. I could have been there, but I was just lucky to have the day off. I still remember that I felt
00:07:36
scared to death to hear the news. Little did I know I had met one of the cult members a couple
00:07:41
years before. In 1993, I left my hometown in southern Japan and started living alone for the
00:07:47
first time in my life. I was 18 years old. One day I saw a poster about a curry party at the
00:07:52
university hosted by a cooking club. I liked Indian food, so I went to that party with friends.
00:07:57
It was fun, but we never went back because the boys really weren't that cold. That's good. At that party, I met a boy who seemed to be relatively okay. He asked me out,
00:08:11
saying he wanted to take me to a special French restaurant. In my innocence, I was lured by the
00:08:16
idea of having a fancy dinner. Of course you were. Sure. But when we arrived at the quote unquote
00:08:22
restaurant, I felt something was off. It was obviously an apartment where someone lived,
00:08:27
not a restaurant. That's horrifying. So scary. I also remember a purely white weird door with a
00:08:34
gold sun ornament, which stood out from the surroundings. Soon a man who was probably the
00:08:39
restaurant owner slash cook started bringing French food. The boys seemed to know the guy,
00:08:44
which made me feel more insecure, but I stayed anyway. And then in parentheses, it says,
00:08:49
I honestly don't know what I was thinking. You were 18. That's what you were thinking.
00:08:53
You were 18. Someone was like, hey, I'd like to take you out on a proper date. Yeah. And you were like, I will believe in love.
00:08:59
Yeah. You're not going to get up and walk out like you would now. No. Okay. So I barely remember what we talked about during dinner. One thing I do remember
00:09:08
is that when he found out my grandpa had cancer, he said something like, quote, he must have spent his money for the wrong purposes, and he must give up his greed to
00:09:17
recover. I thought it was none of his business, and how you spend money had nothing to do with
00:09:24
getting sick. This and that weird setting finally turned me off. I said I wanted to go home because
00:09:29
I didn't feel well. They tried to hold me up saying, you can lie on the couch for a while.
00:09:34
but I made it clear that I wanted to go home and then I headed to the front door.
00:09:40
The boy insisted he drive me home. I said it wasn't necessary, but again, I somehow accepted his offer because I didn't know how to fuck politeness yet.
00:09:49
Luckily, he safely drove me home. He said something about our destiny when I left the car.
00:09:54
I said, yeah, I'll get in touch with you, but I never called him back. Sometime after the subway attack, I was absentmindedly watching TV.
00:10:03
The media was again covering Aum Shinrikyo and how the cult was eagerly recruiting university students.
00:10:10
The anchor started listing clubs they were using as covers. When I heard one name, I couldn't believe my ears.
00:10:15
It was the club that organized the curry party. When I turned to the TV, I saw the white door of that weird French restaurant.
00:10:24
That's my story with Aum Shinrikyo. I guess I failed their test. And then there's a little smiley face with colon in parentheses.
00:10:30
But thinking how close I was to the cult still creeps me out. Thank you for reading until the end.
00:10:36
I also thank Emily, who is another murderino who introduced me to this fantastic podcast.
00:10:41
She also helped me write this email. I'll always continue to listen to you guys from Japan.
00:10:46
So please stay sexy and don't get murdered. And there's no name. Oh, wait. Did they say their name at the beginning?
00:10:53
No, there's no name. Oh, my God. We have a Japanese listener. Konnichiwa. Konnichiwa.
00:11:00
to the one murderino in japan emily thank you for helping our one murderino in japan
00:11:06
write this email it's so legendary we're thrilled to get it that's wild that was so wild
00:11:12
crazy crazy that is a near miss while the world watches the stars at the fifa world cup this summer
00:11:20
hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent the future soccer stars who are already
00:11:24
turning heads at age 14 making plays that end up on everyone's feed scoring from angles that
00:11:29
don't make sense, rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust. Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation, and Hyundai doesn't either.
00:11:37
Hyundai has always moved the future within reach. Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle.
00:11:42
Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability. And Hyundai continues doing it every day.
00:11:49
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Okay, my next one is a spooky season hometown. Why are kids so creepy? Grab your cozy blankets, trusty flashlights, and gather around murderinos.
00:13:25
It's creepy kids story time. My little sister recently bought a very lovely, very big, very old home with her husband on the North Shore of Chicago.
00:13:34
This home was originally built in 1900. For American standards, this is pretty old.
00:13:39
We will refer to this sister as Auntie Jay. Being a very nice aunt and wanting to show off her beautiful new home,
00:13:46
Auntie Jay hosted our other sister and three nephews overnight. As they tell it, the night went great.
00:13:52
They played flashlight tag with the full run of this four-story home, watched a movie, and ate junk food.
00:13:58
As the fun came to a close, Auntie Candy and the three boys settled into the two bedrooms
00:14:02
in the older portion of the house. Everyone fell peacefully asleep after Auntie Candy yelled multiple times
00:14:09
across the hall, boys, go to bed. No more talking. Then 3 a.m. rolled around. Auntie Candy woke up to
00:14:15
the sound of whimpering from across the hall in the boys' room. She quietly crept into the boys'
00:14:21
room, and with the light from the hallway, she saw one of the boys, Griffin, five years old,
00:14:26
sitting up in bed. Griffin was crying quietly and looking into the dark part of the room.
00:14:31
Auntie Candy knelt next to Griffin and softly asked him if he had a nightmare and if he would
00:14:36
like her to lay with him. Griffin pointed into the darkness and said, the little boy,
00:14:41
he won't leave me alone. He keeps telling me to get out of his room. Auntie Candy's head whipped around to see nothing but a darkened room and a closed closet door.
00:14:51
So like the great big sister slash mommy slash auntie she is, Candy hugged Griffin and soothed
00:14:57
him back to a calm state while internally screaming, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck.
00:15:02
Auntie Candy laid with Griffin for the rest of the night with her eyes wide open, scanning the room, internally freaking out and cursing Auntie Jay and her haunted house.
00:15:12
The next morning, Auntie Candy gave Auntie Jay the haunted play-by-play through tired and scared whispers.
00:15:18
Auntie Jay's response was, oh yeah, so the dog has been growling at empty rooms since we moved in.
00:15:24
I found out that the family who last lived here had a little boy who died of cancer, so I bet that's who Griffin saw.
00:15:30
Auntie Candy responded so Griffin sees dead people and then it says cue Haley Jo Osment's screen grab
00:15:37
from that movie I can't remember the name of it oh well poor creepy Griffin and being able to see dead people
00:15:45
poor little boy who passed away and can't move on poor Auntie Candy who needed someone
00:15:49
to hold her that night sometimes grown ass adults need hugs and reassurances that it's just your imagination
00:15:55
happy spooky season stay sexy and tell people spending the night if your house is haunted
00:16:00
love Auntie Em. Yeah. Auntie Em, you're 100% right. That disclosure should be required.
00:16:08
Yeah. How fucking scary. Wait, why can't I think? It's The Sixth Sense is the name of that movie.
00:16:15
That was driving me insane. Wow. Yeah. But that is so intense. You don't want to hear little kids whispering about like, that little boy over there won't
00:16:24
leave me alone. And also every time you hear those stories, you know it's because a child
00:16:29
died. It's like that reverberating sadness through the years. It's so sad. Now we get to change gears because this is very different.
00:16:40
Hello, gals. Love your podcast. This is not a murder, but it is a hilarious story.
00:16:45
I live in Australia. My grandparents lived in a super sketchy area, which was nice when they
00:16:50
moved there in 1960, but it became very sketchy as time passed. One day, my grandparents in their
00:16:55
80s, went to drop off some garden clippings at the local dump. On the other side of this 10-foot
00:17:01
wire fence next to the dump, they spied some lovely bushy plants and thought, how lovely?
00:17:07
Who would throw away all these beautiful plants? What a waste. So loving a bargain, my grandparents
00:17:12
drove into the compound, backed up their little Toyota Corolla, and filled their car boot and
00:17:17
backseat with the plants. When they got home, they proceeded to plant the bushes along their front
00:17:23
fence, congratulating themselves on getting such a bargain. The next day, their neighbor,
00:17:28
who is a police officer, was walking his dog and couldn't believe his eyes when he spied the row
00:17:35
of huge bushy marijuana plants along the front fence of my grandparents' home. He knocked on the door and asked my grandmother where she got the plants.
00:17:45
After hearing the story, he told Nana that the plants were marijuana plants, which are illegal in Australia.
00:17:51
Hilariously, my octogenarian grandparents had just waltzed into a police evidence compound loaded their car with illegal drugs seized from a police raid and innocently planted them along their front fence Given the area they live in
00:18:06
I was impressed that the pot plants were still there after one night. The police drug squad had to come to my grandparents' house to dig up all the stolen
00:18:14
evidence. Very embarrassed that they had been hoodwinked by a couple of very elderly thieves.
00:18:21
we've never let them live it down and it's still hilarious to this day my grandparents are now both
00:18:26
gone with my nana passing just last december at the age of 96 r.i.p nana you are a boss
00:18:34
and there's no name signed to that oh the best hilarious that is a beautiful beautiful
00:18:42
i bet they look gorgeous i bet they look big and hedgy right yeah like yeah almost like who
00:18:49
These are like hedges waiting to hedge. Yeah. And plants like that are fucking, are expensive.
00:18:56
Like not weed, but like beautiful hedge plants. That's hilarious. Yeah. I love that.
00:19:01
I have a grandma story too, my last one. Perfect. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer, Hyundai has its eyes
00:19:10
on the next generation of talent. The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14.
00:19:15
Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense,
00:19:18
rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust. Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation, and Hyundai doesn't either.
00:19:25
Hyundai has always moved the future within reach. Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle.
00:19:31
Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability. And Hyundai continues doing it every day.
00:19:37
From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far-off concept.
00:19:44
It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye.
00:19:49
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making it easy to bring a more premium feel into everyday life. I am a fan of Quince.
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Yeah, Karen's wardrobe is Quince. I'm a lazy basics person. And the things that I get from them, I always go, oh yeah, now I'm wearing these.
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They work, they're cute, they're stylish. And they're classy. Like it doesn't look lazy, it looks classy.
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And it's so affordable. Yeah, elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash MFM for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.
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Quince.com slash M-F-M. Goodbye. Grandma Wiona. It's W-Y-O-N-A. That's Wiona, right?
00:21:32
Mm-hmm. I'd say so. Hey, MFM crew, long-time listener, first-time writer, et cetera.
00:21:37
I'm a location scout and spend a lot of time driving around and going up to strangers' homes
00:21:41
to ask if they want their house in a movie while having pepper spray on hand. And you two have kept me entertained
00:21:47
and prepared for a long time. So thank you for that. I'm writing to tell you a quick snippet
00:21:53
of my grandma's life that she shared with me over the years over cups of tea and her chocolate chip cookies.
00:21:58
My grandma's name is Wyonna Violet. And then I says, I think this will rank pretty high
00:22:04
with the cool grandma names. And she was born in 1924 and grew up in rural Canada.
00:22:10
She was the fourth of 13 children. and would be pissed off every time she saw her mom wear a white apron signaling she was pregnant
00:22:17
again. Oh, fuck. There's that apron. God damn it. And she got pissed off nine times.
00:22:25
Yeah, that's a lot. Because there were 13 kids and they were in rural Canada, the older children
00:22:30
had to take care of the younger children. My grandma told me about one day that stuck out
00:22:35
in particular. She was probably between 10 and 12 and was in charge of looking after one of her
00:22:40
baby sisters with another one of her sisters. She didn't give me many details about how,
00:22:46
but they somehow lost the baby. They looked around for her to no avail. The baby was old
00:22:51
enough to crawl and walk. Okay, I thought you meant lost the baby. Oh, no. You said lost the baby. And with a little laugh, I'm like, what the fuck?
00:23:01
No, no, they were babysitting and they lost the baby. Sorry, got it. The baby was old enough to crawl and walk away. So maybe she was a toddler. I don't know.
00:23:09
anyway hours later their dad arrived home with the lost baby it turns out while he was riding
00:23:17
his horse home from work he came across a train stopped on the tracks he went to investigate the
00:23:22
scene and saw that his baby daughter was sitting on the tracks no luckily for everyone involved
00:23:27
and especially my grandma the train conductor spotted the baby crawling on the tracks and
00:23:32
stopped the train in time and of all the times my great-grandfather would be passing by on his
00:23:37
route home, he got to see that it was his own daughter on the tracks. Shit. My grandma was obviously not put in charge of babysitting for a while after that.
00:23:48
Anyway, while listening to you guys for years, I realized that my grandma was the first murderino
00:23:52
I knew. She lived alone for almost 25 years after my grandpa died and would watch Dateline and
00:23:57
Murder Mysteries every night before bed. some very hard times in her life and was an amazing, strong, sassy, loving woman
00:24:04
through it all. My dad's parents passed away long before my brothers and I were born
00:24:08
and my mom's dad passed when we were very young. So Wyonna was our only grandparent for most of our lives.
00:24:15
My grandma passed away in 2018 and I think about her all the time. I'm glad to share my love of true crime with her
00:24:21
and thank you again for being a comfort to listen to just like my grandma was comforted to 48 hours before bed.
00:24:27
except I'm definitely not as brave to listen right before bed. Love, Christina. Christina, congratulations on Wyonna Violet.
00:24:36
Wyonna Violet. One of the worst babysitters but best grandmothers there has ever been.
00:24:43
Wandered onto the train tracks. It's such an old-fashioned story of like the dad's coming home on a horse.
00:24:49
Yeah. She's on the train tracks. Yeah, and like a child is watching a baby and loses track of the baby.
00:24:57
The father doesn't get arrested when he walks up as like, oh, it's my baby. All good.
00:25:03
It's fine. You know me. Okay, here's my last one. And it's an 1880s trash dad story.
00:25:09
Great. It starts, hello. Here's a fun trash dad story as requested. It was 1988 Salt Lake City.
00:25:16
I was 13. My mom and dad took me in a front with them to see Aerosmith. Sorry. I don't know why I think that's so funny.
00:25:24
Just your parents are like, come on, let's go see Aerosmith together. Love in an elevator everybody Me and a friend with them to see Aerosmith who had just had a big comeback with the Permanent Vacation album My parents went down to the floor and told us to go up into the stands to watch
00:25:42
That way we could see better. Remember the 80s when your boomer parents would just tell you where
00:25:46
and when to meet them later so that they could party on their own with their friends? No, just me.
00:25:53
Before the concert even started, there was a commotion down on the floor. The house lights
00:25:58
were still on and everyone in the salt palace, and I really do mean everyone, could see a fight.
00:26:03
It was very exciting. And everyone was yelling and cheering. Then I actually paid attention.
00:26:08
It was my dad fighting with some rando. You see, back then, my dad, Lonzo, rocked a mohawk,
00:26:17
which was extremely rare for Salt Lake City in the late 80s. It probably still is. So I could
00:26:23
spot my dad in any crowd. Without even thinking, I just yelled, that's my dad. That's so badass. I don't know why your dad of the Mohawk is the coolest thing I've ever heard.
00:26:35
It's really great. Everyone should see SLC Punk if they haven't seen it. It's such a good,
00:26:40
funny, amazing movie. It is. It's kind of about this. Perhaps about this man specifically. So they yell, that's my dad.
00:26:49
And the people around me asked which one, the guy winning or losing, to which I proudly replied, the one winning with the mohawk.
00:26:58
It gets better. And then it says in parentheses, worse. My dad had just been to a Utah jazz game.
00:27:04
That is basketball, my dear non-sport fan friend. Thank you. Thanks so much A few days before and he gotten into a fight that night too So when security brought them back at the concert the head security guy looked at my dad and laughed
00:27:18
and said, you again? Oh, no. I honestly don't know how he did it. Trash dad magic, I guess. But he didn't get kicked out of
00:27:26
the game or the concert. Security sent him back and told him to avoid the other guy the rest of
00:27:31
the night. Looking back, this seems so bizarre, and I have dozens of crazy Lonzo stories. He is
00:27:36
truly one of a kind. I really wish I had a picture to share. Sorry. I've literally never
00:27:41
thought about this before. I wonder who drove us home that night. Yikes. And then it just says,
00:27:46
have a good one, Tina from Minnesota. A dad getting into a fistfight story. Like the thought of my dad, Marty, getting into a fistfight is so impossible that to picture
00:27:56
someone else's dad is kind of amazing with a mohawk. Tell us your stories about your trash
00:28:03
dad at my favorite murder at gmail. And thanks for writing in everyone. Yeah. Thanks for being a part of this mini-sode and this community.
00:28:12
Yeah. And stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie?
00:28:17
Ah! This has been an Exactly Right production. Our senior producer is Hannah Kyle Crichton.
00:28:30
Our producer is Alejandra Keck. This episode was engineered and mixed by Stephen Ray Morris.
00:28:35
Our researchers are Maren McGlashan and Gemma Harris. Email your hometowns and fucking hoorays to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com.
00:28:42
Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and Twitter at my fave murder Goodbye
00:28:57
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