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00:01:28
My favorite murder Hello! And welcome to My Favorite Murder. The mini-sodes. We read you your stories. That's about it. That's how it goes.
00:01:51
We also video them and show the fan called only. That's right. So if you want to see what our hair looks like right now,
00:01:57
Yours looks great, by the way. Oh, thank you. Then check that out. I was trying to do some air dry scrunching work because I need a haircut so bad that if it was any other way, it would show.
00:02:13
Can I show you one of the many fallouts of dyeing my hair pink, of bleaching it and then dyeing it pink, is this part right here broke off.
00:02:23
Yep. And so now I have these little, because it's so dead that my like, what do you call that part?
00:02:30
My baby hairs broke off. And so now I have these alfalfa like sprouts coming out of my fucking head.
00:02:38
Guys, be careful when you dye your hair. We must be careful. We must take the wages of sin of dyeing your hair.
00:02:46
when it's like, well, remember the time that I think we were about to walk on stage for a live
00:02:51
show and you go, what is this? And it was on the road, I'd gotten gray hair. So I just took my
00:02:59
like eyebrow shaver and just went and just shaved off on my part. Remember? Yeah.
00:03:05
But then they started growing back. So same exact thing where they, but I did it to myself.
00:03:10
They're growing straight up. Oh, I did this to myself too. So yeah, taking a shaver to your head is probably not the solution.
00:03:19
But you know what? Whatever. Short term. We can argue short term versus long term solutions on the other podcast.
00:03:28
We can and we must. All right. You want to go first? Do you want me to go first?
00:03:32
Sure, I can kick it off. This one is, well, I'll tell you. Okay. I'm not going to read the subject line because it kind of like just gives it all away.
00:03:42
But I will, the first line, it just starts like this. Yes, this is a hometown jackpot.
00:03:49
Hey fam, you're the first podcast I ever listened to and one of the two podcasts I continue to enjoy.
00:03:57
Thanks for being awesome. Let's get into this shit. We have a family cabin in Lincoln, Montana that my grandpa, a true visionary in providing opportunities for his family to hang out in nature and setting up a multi-generational appreciation for environmental conservatism, bought back in the day.
00:04:14
He had nine kids and spent nearly every weekend up there year-round hiking, horse riding, dirt biking, fishing, hunting, you name it.
00:04:22
My 40 plus cousins and I get to enjoy it to this day when we can find the time and it's the best way to remember my grandpa.
00:04:30
And then in parentheses, it says, fuck COVID and everyone that downplayed it. Enough backstory.
00:04:37
Guess who also had a cabin up there? Yes, as we all know, the Unabomber. Right. Everyone knew him as some kooky old dude that didn't like people or motors or noise or society in general.
00:04:49
but there weren't any glaring indicators of homicidal bomber tendencies. He was the type of person that you smiled and waved at from a distance to stay cordial,
00:04:58
but got the fuck out of there as quickly as possible right after. This gives you a sense of where you are in socializing with the Unabomber.
00:05:06
Sure. Before the FBI figured him out, that dude was struggling to keep it cool in his little Montana
00:05:11
hideaway. One winter weekend, my grandpa came to the cabin to find the front door
00:05:16
chopped open and windows broken. Inside, there were ax marks all over the walls,
00:05:23
beds trashed, things strewn about. All the snowmobiles were sugared, meaning someone
00:05:28
literally dumped a bunch of sugar in the gas tanks, which ruins the motors. Wow.
00:05:32
As the cherry on top, this dude walked past a perfectly functioning toilet to take a dump in the tub.
00:05:38
Oh, wow. Uh-huh. And then it says, if you didn't think he was crazy before, there's your proof.
00:05:44
After he got busted and his memoir came out, we learned that my grandpa and uncles had unknowingly narrowly escaped death by Unabomber on a few occasions.
00:05:55
He wrote about stringing metal wire across popular motorcycle trails to clothesline riders aka decapitate at motorcycle speed and having young guys on bikes in the crosshairs of his rifle
00:06:09
Shit, I was a baby at the time, but spent plenty of time on dirt bikes with my dad too.
00:06:14
His janky booby-trapped cabin was within sight of ours, so this all lines up. Holy shit.
00:06:20
Right? I mean, that idea, he's just stringing wire from tree to tree just to be a complete monster.
00:06:28
That's so evil. It's horrifying. People move to backwoods-ass towns for many reasons, but oftentimes it's to get off the map.
00:06:35
I took all of this as a lesson to not be an asshole to people, but also in your words,
00:06:40
fuck politeness, lock your fucking door, and if you see something, fucking say something.
00:06:45
I don't think that one's ours. I think that's the public transportation. That's the airport.
00:06:51
Right. Thanks for putting out awesome content, giving me a reason to type an email I actually care about,
00:06:56
and the opportunity to talk about my grandpa. Hang loose, Ben. Wow, Ben. Ben nailed it.
00:07:05
Yep. That is a close contact with a serial killer. Like crazy. He's got his rifle on people just around his neighborhood.
00:07:13
I mean, good Lord. Wow. Wow. All right. Good one. Yeah, right? This one's called That Time I Defended
00:07:22
and Was Followed by the Legit Irish Mob. A little long, but worth it. Hello, Georgia, Karen, Petz, fellow murderinos, and Stephen.
00:07:33
Stephen. I wanted to tell you about one of my favorite experiences, aiding in the defense of an
00:07:38
alleged hitman for the Irish mob. When I was in law school, I studied abroad in Dublin, Ireland.
00:07:43
Part of the program included an internship with an Irish barrister. I was going to say barista, and I absolutely didn't.
00:07:51
I'm proud of myself. You did right after. I did, too. The first day I met my barrister, he was nice, but I could tell he was sizing me up.
00:07:59
I was a young, green, very innocent looking, and then it says actually far from it, girl from Middle America.
00:08:06
He explained to me that he would not have a lot of time to mentor me because he was in the middle of a murder trial involving the Irish mob.
00:08:13
Our client, we'll call him John, was accused along with fellow co-defendants of orchestrating a hit
00:08:18
on someone that had wronged the mob with John being the actual freaking trigger man.
00:08:24
As a lifelong murderino, I dived in. I pored over videos, police reports, anything I can get my hands on and sat through every day of trial
00:08:32
as every day of trial I was there one month. About halfway into my internship, my barrister approached me when I got out of the courthouse
00:08:39
one regular seeming day. John wants to meet you, he said. Excuse me, I asked, more than a little shocked.
00:08:46
My barrister shrugged. He said he wants to meet the American. We began to walk towards the holding area and approach the guarded, locked door of the room where John sat.
00:08:55
I was screaming internally from both excitement and fear and just reminded myself,
00:08:59
the mob won't hurt me if I'm helping them. Whatever works, right? Anyway, I sit down with John, who was the nicest guy.
00:09:07
He thanked me for my work on the case, asked me about law school, my life in the States,
00:09:12
and how I was enjoying Dublin. You know, normal hitman conversations. As our conversation wrapped up, I stood up to leave and he stopped me.
00:09:21
John looked me dead in the eye and said, the pub you were at last night, he referenced
00:09:24
the actual pub by name, isn't really safe that late at night. You may want to get back to your dorm room a little earlier, but don't worry too much.
00:09:31
You have our protection while you're here. If you need anything at all, let me know.
00:09:36
Did he know where she was and she hadn't told him? Uh-huh. I stared. Thank you, I stammered.
00:09:43
He smiled. Keep in mind, this guy had been in jail for at least a year. My barrister asked me if I was okay since I was just told I was being followed by the
00:09:52
Irish mob. I whipped around to him. Are you kidding me? That was fucking awesome.
00:09:58
Ironically, I felt incredibly safe the rest of my trip. I had to leave before the trial was over, but my barrister informed me it ended in a
00:10:05
hung jury and John was not retried. John died a few years later when his car mysteriously blew up
00:10:11
outside of his home. I will never forget the experiences I had in Dublin, this one in particular.
00:10:17
Anywho, this story has been long enough. Thank you for all that y'all do. It's been a godsend
00:10:20
the last year, especially, and a good way to decompress after a long day. I live in Oklahoma
00:10:26
where I've been advocating abortion access in my spare time, and it's been extremely disheartening
00:10:30
a lot of days, but I know it's important for my daughter's futures and to save the lives of
00:10:35
everyone with a uterus. Fuck Oklahoma legislators, stay sexy. And remember, the mob won't hurt if you help them. Okay, she, her.
00:10:43
I mean, first of all, thank you for your service and the fight for abortion rights,
00:10:50
which we should not be fighting. We shouldn't have to be fighting. We shouldn't fight. I'm sorry. Yep, yep. That's what I meant. Thank you.
00:10:58
Barista, barrister, fight. I'm against having the same rights as men. It's weird. I know. You wouldn't expect it.
00:11:06
Karen coming in hot. No, no, sorry. But because I was thinking, I think in that moment, aside from that like,
00:11:14
oh, creepy, I'm being followed. It took me a long time to go, oh, they have to watch her
00:11:19
because she's now in the mix with them and their enemies. Yeah. So he doesn't want his own lawyer knocked off or anybody helping his lawyer.
00:11:28
Right, right. All of the things. For some reason, it was like thinking she might be in danger from them, but it's actually, they actually know they have to protect her.
00:11:36
Yeah. Or at least keep an eye. Totally. Keep an eye. Keep an eye. Intense. Yeah.
00:11:43
See, that's a thing. I don't know. The mafia, it's just like a one-way street. It's just the one thing.
00:11:51
Killing and revenge. Killing and revenge. Killing and revenge until you die Yeah It true Yeah It rough Please everybody watch The Sopranos Truly Don make me explain the mafia to you Watch the documentary The Sopranos please
00:12:07
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00:15:21
Goodbye. The subject line of this, it says sinkhole final destination. And then in parentheses,
00:15:30
it says or final sinkhole destination. And then another parentheses, it says or final
00:15:35
destination sinkhole. Let's go with that one. Yeah, I like that. And then it says, hi all.
00:15:41
I grew up in Central Florida where the only thing that wants to kill you more than murderers,
00:15:45
pedophiles, and high school teachers is Mother Nature. Just an award-winning first sentence.
00:15:51
Truly, truly beautiful. Beautifully set up. Okay. Lightning, tornadoes, microbursts, hurricanes,
00:15:57
sinkholes, and dangerous heat. Truly the place that everyone should retire to for a quiet life.
00:16:03
A bit of necessary background. The county I grew up in contains the winter strawberry capital of the U.S., Plant City.
00:16:11
You visited an antique shop with Confederate memorabilia there on your way to the Orlando Live.
00:16:17
Yes, I remember that. Remember that? Uh-huh. Oh, they're from Plant City. Okay. In the winter of 2013, the strawberry farmers used a lot more water than usual for unimportant reasons.
00:16:28
The excessive water usage led to approximately 300 known sinkholes in the several months following the strawberry season.
00:16:37
Unfortunately, one of those sinkholes formed in the densely populated town of Sefner.
00:16:42
This sinkhole happened to collapse at night directly below the bedroom of a house, swallowing the homeowner and everything in the bedroom.
00:16:50
His brother heard the collapse and ran to aid his brother. The brother contacted emergency services, then jumped into the sinkhole in an attempt to reach the homeowner.
00:16:59
After rescuing the brother, emergency services tried to use listening devices to locate the homeowner, but to no avail.
00:17:06
The sinkhole started to expand over the following days, which effectively ended body recovery efforts.
00:17:12
Whoa. I remember this story. That is wild. 2013, it was a long time ago, but it was one of those first big, really awful, like, basically the earth opens up in the middle of the night.
00:17:24
Like, how scary and horrible. The house was condemned, the sinkhole was filled, and the site is considered too unstable for future development.
00:17:33
And then it just says no shit. The sinkhole reopened two years later and the site is now fenced off.
00:17:39
Apologies for the length, and I hope this satisfies your sinkhole curiosity, Nathan.
00:17:44
And P.S. The high school teacher comment is based on a teacher from my high school who tried to hire a hitman to kill a quote unquote rival teacher.
00:17:53
The dude was a massive prick Nathan just going to end it on a cliffhanger a second story cliffhanger and leave wow that was a good email really good really good oh my god yeah the boys are bringing it this week
00:18:10
yeah you got the boys going hey swimming with convicts it just starts as my mom would say
00:18:15
heydee hoady i've been meaning to write this in for three years but i am lazy anyway here it goes
00:18:22
One of my favorite pastimes is listening to my mom, Kathleen, and her five siblings laugh until they cry, telling stories about their childhood.
00:18:30
My mom grew up in Omaha, Nebraska, in a small, humble home. Her mom, Ricky, was a nurse, and her dad, Bill, was a post office worker.
00:18:38
Every summer, they would take a big family vacation to the farm in Rockwell City, Iowa, where my grandma, Ricky, was raised.
00:18:44
Ricky would conveniently time up the big family vacation with her siblings' family so they could all be at the farm together.
00:18:49
My mom used to think the farm visits were for the kids to see their cousins, but it was definitely for Ricky and her sisters to dump the kids at the farm
00:18:55
and forget about them for a week. Now, Rockwell City, Iowa is a small rural town with a current population of about 2,000.
00:19:03
Basically all farmland, a public swimming pool, and one women's penitentiary. One day as my mom and her siblings were reminiscing on the time at the farm,
00:19:11
she says, remember when we would go to the Rockwell City pool and the convicts would be there?
00:19:15
She recalled that the cousins would run through the county fairgrounds to get to the pool. And on Tuesdays, Ladies' Day, a big penitentiary school bus would be in the
00:19:25
parking lot. There would be guards surrounding the pool and all the inmates would be swimming.
00:19:31
At the time, 1970s, my mom and her cousins, their parents and grandparents, and the penitentiary
00:19:37
thought nothing of convicts swimming with children. I like to joke that they had orange
00:19:41
striped swimsuits, would play Marco Polo together, and the kids would be jealous of no breaks for the
00:19:46
inmates. But in reality, this was a common occurrence and it never crossed their minds
00:19:51
that it was odd and quite frankly, dangerous? Anyway, stay sexy and don't let your children
00:19:56
swim with convicts, Helen. Side note, because you all love names, my grandma, Ricky, was actually
00:20:02
born as an Eileen. But in high school, she liked a boy named Ricky. And so her friends started
00:20:07
calling her that as a joke. And it stuck to the point where it's on her gravestone.
00:20:12
that woman was the coolest Helen Ricky I love that God that's embarrassing that's so embarrassing
00:20:24
it's her name it's on her gravestone like that is your name now it must have really suited her
00:20:30
you know what I was also thinking though and it feels like an Orange is the New Black episode
00:20:34
but like to be in prison and then to get to go swim like whatever it was once a week or once a month.
00:20:42
Yeah, you must look forward to that all month or whatever it was. For real, just a little bit of relief.
00:20:50
God damn. And I don't have a, I'd go swimming. I mean, do I have a problem? Female convicts?
00:20:55
Yeah, female convicts I'm not worried about. I'm not either. For them to allow that,
00:20:59
it must have been low security or something like that. Yes, they weren't. Yes, yeah, exactly.
00:21:05
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view important disclosures at acorns.com slash mfm. Goodbye. Okay, I'm not going to read you the subject line of this one. Okay. Hello, everyone. Long-time
00:24:05
listener, multi-time writer, constantly hoping my storytelling ability evolves to meet on-air
00:24:10
standards. Congratulations. Hey, guess what? It's your birthday. Anyway, let's get to it.
00:24:17
I'm a children's librarian in our small town, and then in parentheses it says, all librarians are murderinos, can confirm. And my husband is a deputy. We're both in our early
00:24:27
30s. Just trying to paint a picture for you. There are around 1,500 people in our town
00:24:32
per the last census. So it's safe to say that everyone knows everything about everybody.
00:24:37
One day recently, my husband and his work partners became our hometown heroes. It was around four in the morning when he received a call from someone stating
00:24:45
their neighbor's house was burning down and they thought the elderly neighbors were home.
00:24:50
Immediately in all hands on deck situation, my husband and his partner took off and their fellow
00:24:55
deputy who was also volunteer fire was right behind them. Once they found the house, my husband
00:25:00
began beating on the door, trying to see if anyone was home slash awake slash conscious.
00:25:05
After several attempts to get an answer, he decided to kick the door in because there were
00:25:09
two cars in the driveway and he just knew that someone had to be in the house. When he kicked in
00:25:14
the door, he was met by an elderly gentleman in nothing but his underpants standing on the steps.
00:25:20
The man said, what are you doing? Oh, no. That's so my dad. What are you doing? To which my husband replied, sir, your house is burning down.
00:25:33
What are you doing? Yeah. The man said he had to go upstairs and get his wife and get dressed.
00:25:37
My husband and his partner followed desperately trying to get these modest elderly citizens out of their home before it crashed in around them.
00:25:44
Oh, my God. The wife wouldn't get up for her husband. So my husband went in and told her it was definitely time to go And she said well let me get my dressing gown and wig This is where my husband lost his mind They were all on the second floor of a house that was on
00:26:00
fire, and the fire was now one room over. Papa was still putting on his pants, and Mama was
00:26:07
looking for a wig. My husband and his partner are both married and both have families and three kids.
00:26:13
Today was not the day to take things slow. He told them if they didn't get moving,
00:26:18
that he would move them and he meant it. He would have picked them up and carried them out if it
00:26:22
had come down to it. Thankfully, they came out. According to dispatch, the entire call was less
00:26:26
than five minutes. My husband said it felt like hours. All parties involved are safe,
00:26:32
but the house was declared a total loss. The town had a ceremony to honor my husband and his partner
00:26:37
and the people they saved were there. The little old lady gave my husband a hug and told him that
00:26:42
She loved him and he won't admit it, but he got teary eyed. Stay sexy and marry a man that can mule kick a door in.
00:26:49
Kay. Yeah. I will. You should. I plan to. I'm going to test Vince on that thing.
00:26:58
That very thing. Wow. Kay ended that story with the most important part of the story.
00:27:03
Right. Wow. He saved their lives. That's wild. He saved their lives while they fought him on saving their lives.
00:27:12
basically. Totally. Oh my God, that's so scary. It's insane. This one's just silly. It's called
00:27:17
Short, Sweet, and Shrek. You guys asked for drunk parent stories, but I'm hoping this will work
00:27:22
just as well. One of the fondest memories I have of my dad and I is when I was four years old and
00:27:27
he took me to see Shrek in theaters. I remember it being a super beautiful day out with the sun
00:27:32
shining as my dad, his friends, and I rode in the back of an open pickup truck along the rural roads
00:27:37
of the small island we live on Last summer as the two of us were sitting on his porch I decided to share how much that moment still meant to me all these years later to which my dad promptly replied oh man I really glad you had a great time I was on a lot of shrooms that day
00:27:55
Honestly, I'm so jealous. He got to experience fresh Shrek for the first time ever,
00:27:58
tripping balls, SSD GM, Naomi, she, her. Look, that movie on mushrooms. You know, can you imagine?
00:28:09
Oh, I love that gingerbread man so much. Oh my God, that had to be terrifying. It must have been insane.
00:28:18
It's like, yeah, the Poston Boots part must have been amazing. Well, I think that's it for us, right?
00:28:24
Is that it? Yeah, I think so. That was three each. Yeah, good job. Wow, good job.
00:28:28
Everybody sending these in, these emails are becoming excellent. Everyone is so good at it.
00:28:35
You really are. Please send them in, myfavoritemurder at Gmail. We really appreciate you contributing.
00:28:41
You guys are so smart. You're so smart and pretty. You're pretty, especially Nathan and the other boy.
00:28:48
And also you're sharing your personal stories with us. We really love it. We really appreciate it.
00:28:54
You mule kick our hearts every week. The doors of our hearts get mule kicked right in by you.
00:29:00
That's right. Okay, stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie?
00:29:08
This has been an Exactly Right production. Our senior producer is Hannah Kyle Crichton.
00:29:20
Our producer is Alejandra Keck. This episode was engineered and mixed by Stephen Ray Morris.
00:29:25
Our researchers are Maren McClashen and Gemma Harris. Email your hometowns and fucking hoorays to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com.
00:29:32
Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and Twitter at MyFaveMurder Goodbye
00:30:05
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That's stitchfix.com slash murder. Goodbye. Bye. Here's another mouthwatering recipe idea from Maricon, the world's finest rice vinegar.
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