00:00:00
Hello! And welcome. We're here to introduce the season four premiere episode of Do You Need a Ride?
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Karen's mobile comedy podcast with Chris Fairbanks. Finally, after three years of being stuck at home, Chris and I are finally back in the car.
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I bet that makes a big difference for a mobile comedy podcast. Yeah, it really does.
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This season, Chris, Karen, and a bunch of comedians that you know and love will be driving around
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LA discussing life and hitting the drive-thru. That's right. And Chris and I had so much fun on our way to pick up our first guest that we had to make it a two-parter.
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And that guest is none other than iconic comedian and friend of the Exactly Right family, Margaret Cho.
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So when you're done listening to this first episode, head over to the Do You Need a Ride podcast feed and listen to the second half of that drive with Margaret Cho.
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And while you're there, don't forget to follow, rate, review, and remember, you can listen early on Amazon Music or early and ad-free by subscribing to Wondery Plus in the Wondery app.
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Now please enjoy our long-awaited return to the car in the season four premiere episode of Do You Need a Ride?
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Goodbye. We want to welcome you back home Tell us all about it Were you scared or was it fine?
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Mouth horn Do you need a ride? Do you need a ride? Do you need a ride? Do you need a ride?
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Do you need a ride? Do you need a ride? Do you need a ride? Do you need a ride? With Karen and Chris.
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Welcome to Do You Need a Ride? This is Chris Fairbanks. And this is Karen Gilgarith.
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Um, we're in a car right now. Um, it's happening, guys. I've been so excited and it's so far lived up to the hype.
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I've been excited, but I'm the one that always has to warn and be like careful and be like the one that's like, we can't do it now because of this and that.
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But that has nothing to do with the level of wanting to be in the car. I'm happy to hear you say that because I wasn't sure if you wanted.
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I wanted and have since COVID began, since the first cough of COVID splattered all over California.
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I was like, get us back in that car. That's where our personal brand of comedy magic happens.
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And we're back. I'm so much less liable to repeat myself. Because when I see it coming, when I start thinking about my cat, that's right when a biker will cut in front of us.
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I'll slap my hand against your chest. Out of safety. Safety of not repeating yourself.
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It's so weird. You don't realize you miss things until they're gone. And you treating me like a book bag that might spill everywhere is such a heartwarming since the first time you did it.
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I mean, how long have we been doing this podcast? I'm just going to start saying a decade.
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Do you have an idea? No, eight years. Yeah. Eight or nine. It might be a decade.
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It might be, because it's been a while. And this is the very road we first started on.
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Is it Ventura? We were coming the other way. I was traumatized because of a story that I'm not going to tell again.
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A bit of a car happening. And we were in the same model. Yeah, the memories. They're all coming back.
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The Honda Fit days. Yes. And here we are in a much safer vehicle. And it's so quiet.
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It's studio quiet in here. I said when I was car shopping on the auto mall. Give me your best studio on wheels.
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I said, I need a soundproof vehicle. Can I have this same car that, I can't think of anything that records in a car besides us.
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And. Yes. And that's. And John Daly and John, called John's podcast. There are many now.
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Yes. Are there? It seems like. Well, there's the famous Seinfeld one, but he's in like old, you know, steam powered engine cars and everything, you know, from the 60s.
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There's no way. That's got to be like, that's got to be like. That's one thing we have on that possibly more famous recording is quality of sound.
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Yes, and thanks to Annalise for providing that quality of sound. Annalise in the back seat.
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I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for being had. Listen, that sounded very facetious.
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I'm sorry. This truly is a dream come true, but that also sounds facetious. I'm just going to stop talking.
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it's hard not to sound facetious when we talk these days yeah yeah anytime i say something
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genuine it will be easily confused for sarcasm but i'm very happy we're doing this me too and
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also you know uh i was on vacation for basically a month last month and so i haven been in los angeles and i think you understand that feeling of when you leave la you don appreciate LA when you here LA when you here not you personally everybody kind of hates it all the
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time. You go away and you go to other places and then you come back and you're like, no, I like it
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here. Yeah. Yeah. I, uh, I mean you were in Italy. I was in Italy, which, uh, is much more. It's a
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lot better than LA. Yeah. Hands down. Yeah. I was in New York, but the same thing it, it,
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I do appreciate here. I do like being able to just get in a car and not on a Metro train.
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I appreciate it. Yeah. We, I mean, there's just, there's positives. Here's the thing I'll tell you
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about Italy. That was one of the funniest slash death defying, scariest things. When we were in
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cars, Italian drivers treat the road like it's a one-way street going their way until a car comes.
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And then they just move over about three quarters of an inch. And it is truly one of the scariest,
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most insane things I've ever seen. They never crash. They tailgate each other like on the highway
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right up against each other's bumpers. And that's just how it's, they're very aggressive drivers.
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And they're also very, they get, they know how much space is on the outside of their car.
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And they don't, the roads aren't wide enough to move over any further. Right. They're all narrow, right?
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That's a European thing. I mean, that was my experience in Spain and in England.
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Yes. Because it's all kind of old and, you know, they're basically based on what the Roman soldiers built when they were coming through.
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Unlike L.A. where it was all built about two months ago. Yeah, yeah. This road is about two months old. It's a very young road.
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It's young and it's wide. And I appreciate the space we have here in California.
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Anyway, it was just kind of funny. There was a couple of times where we truly thought we were going to die.
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But our drivers were so, they handled shit so well. There was one guy that he was driving through the mountains, like truly very steep mountainous roads.
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and he was, it was a stick shift van and he was texting. So he was shifting with his left hand.
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He'd reach over and shift while he was texting with his right hand. You know I appreciate multitasking in the vehicle.
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I mean, he could really do it. He was a real argument for men multitasking. I'm just not, I don't think I'll ever be.
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I have to limit my expectations of myself because I'm a full-grown adult. I don't know that I'll ever get better at juggling different things while driving.
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Yeah, I don't think you should. And I do mean juggling. No, don't do any of that.
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Don't. Just focus. Yeah. I'd say. Just focus. Yeah, well, there must be a reason that all those race car drivers are from Italy.
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Yeah. They're all adept. They truly are. I mean, that's a blanket statement. I'm sorry if I'm a bad driver and from Italy.
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It's like, what about me? You've left me out. Oh. Yeah, but you know what? Those people aren't stepping forward because they'd never admit it.
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No. Because they're a prideful people. It's one of the many things I loved about them.
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It's such a wonderful country. What about the food? Did you enjoy the food? You know, I didn't love the food.
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No, just kidding. It was unbelievable. Well, I heard that when you go get an Italian sausage,
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it's very related to a hot dog. Is that true? No. Well, no, I don't think so. Like they've been Americanized in what we eat?
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No. Okay. No. You were talking to someone who went to a baseball game stoned, I think.
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Right. And they thought they were, they had misconstrued the situation. Just a Dodger game with their Italian friend.
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Yes. They didn't go to Italy. They just hung out with a guy from Brooklyn, probably.
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Well, in Italy, what was the, what was the thing that stands out the most? Well, I was, it was a thing that I was very surprised happened because I'm just not this person.
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Never have been. I got completely hit on in the street. in a way that I couldn't stop laughing because I was like, I don't know the lines for this part.
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I'm never this person. And there, it was like, this guy came out of nowhere and basically told
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me he wanted to get to know me. And it was one, and he was beautiful and Italian. He looked like
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a soccer player. And it was so funny. You should have allowed him to get to know you.
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I know, but I, first of all, didn't speak Italian. He didn't really speak English. He knew these
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phrases like I just want to know you and how long are you here and I couldn't stop laughing because
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I was just like I just didn't I couldn't believe it was happening yeah that's cartoonishly what
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you see in movies or TikTok videos exactly you will be swept off your feet by someone on the
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street yes and I was kind of like I just wasn't prepared if I could do it again I would do it
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very differently but um and it was also just funny because it was he was very like you can tell it's
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something he does a lot it's like he's probably working that part of the street yeah that's a
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numbers game it really is someone's eventually gonna say yes right which i respect in a way
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um but yeah i was kind of thinking i would be seeing it happen too because there's a million
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Americans there. There's lots of like groups of young women with their friends having the time
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of their life. And so I was like, yeah, sure. That's great. This is, I would love to witness it.
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And then I got some up close and it was a real, you know, I got my groove back. It was a real
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huge compliment. And, uh, you kind of can't pay for an experience like that or you can, but I
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wouldn Is that just something that very rarely happens here Because when I was in New York that my only comparison My European trip to New York I found that I was having a lot of open friendly interactions in a place where
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you know, historically you're supposed to like, hey, fuck you, fuck nuts, stuff like that.
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And I made friends everywhere I went. I'm like, is it me? Am I acting different?
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I'm more approachable here. I feel like, and not that we just said we love it where we live,
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but I do feel like this is the place where you're at least liable to get approached.
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Yes. In the street, lovingly. I think this, yes, there's no love in the streets here.
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I think this is a tough town to be open in or have like a big smile on your face in.
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Right, right. Make eye contact. Yeah. but you know what's funny I've always found New York to be like that where people I think because
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people are smashed together they get along better and it's like here people think they're supposed
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to act stuck up so they do whereas New York it's like people will start asking they'll be like hey
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should I buy this for my girlfriend yeah in like the aisle at CVS and then you get into a conversation
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I love it I love it too and I think here especially in recent years I've gotten so used to not
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interacting that I, I, it just felt great. I, I love, I let's, I'm going to change this city.
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Yeah. I'm going to start talking to people. Yeah. That's my new year's resolution starting now.
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It's hot girl summer for you and I. Yeah. We're going to, we're going to bring that open energy
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to one of the more closed, uh, areas of the nation. Clothed. Clothed. Yes. I'm not doing
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at the beach. That's the hardest time to really be open and vulnerable. Yeah. But I'll start
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by doing it indoors, but eventually I'm going to take this openness to the streets.
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You should. And that's when I'll think about taking some clothes off. Yeah, because, you know,
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pace that out. Pace the nudity part out. Don't do it all at once. No, no, no, no.
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You can't just start talking to people and get naked in the same day. They can't process
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all of it. Right. You need to go in levels and steps. Yeah, yeah. But also, Hey, Fiat, get the fuck over and go.
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Well, there's a car in front of them. Oh, thank you. Because I was going to honk.
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Also, why are you so small? Now I get mad. Do Fiats have to be that small? Sir, oh, there's a car in front of him.
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I thought you meant a car coming toward him. Oh, you didn't see it. It was totally hidden.
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Totally blocked. Yeah, they are of the same shape. But now that they're next to each other, isn't it funny?
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Because the other car is much larger. So much larger. That's perspective for you.
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Guys, this is a perspective that podcast listeners cannot have or appreciate. I do think they appreciate it, our listeners.
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Okay. Yeah, I used to worry about it, and then I've been told that specifically people like when we're talking about things happening in the street that they can't see.
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It's like a radio show, and we're doing, you know, fully work. I have shoes on my hands, and I'm crunching on gravel.
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Hey, mug. And then I punch some meat. I've always, you know, like I just my point is, when are we going to go the noir route with this?
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Uh, noir? Yeah. Film noir. Oh, noir. Noir. Am I pronouncing that wrong? A little bit the first time.
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Noir. But you came around the second time and then I understood what you meant. Now, the fashion brand, is it Dior?
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No. Doya. Doya. It's Doya. Doya. Oh, I love Doya. Who are you wearing tonight? Doya.
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No, Doya. See, I've made the classic L.A. error as if I haven't lived here for 39 fucking years.
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Getting in the left lane when you're going down Franklin under the overpass by the extra space storage facility.
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You do not want to be in this left lane. You get stuck here because there's left turn people fucking it up.
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And here comes a school bus. You're also podcasting. If I was driving right now, and I'm not trying to put this in a position where you will always be the driver, I promise I will give it a go.
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I will always be the driver. I like it. Thank you. God, I don't want to drive. Please.
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I would be on the curb. I would be disrupting that man's abode. There's a man's abode.
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There is an abode. We don't know if it's a man or a woman. Yeah. You know what? It's put together so haphazardly.
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I think it reminds me of my dad and I building a deck in under eight hours. Don't rush a deck.
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No, you can't. People stand on that. For so long. Yeah. After. Yeah. If it's a good barbecue, they'll stay.
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Here's what I was going to say about our hot girl summer that we're both agreeing to participate in this summer.
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Tanning. I'm going to be tanning. Oh, but we're going to be, we're going to get super tan.
00:17:04
We're going to get lip injections. We're going to wear tube tops. We're going to go to every party we get invited to.
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I am definitely doing that. Okay. Well, I'm going to do it too, so don't leave me out.
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But here's a vibe that I picked up on in Italy. That when people are, and it was the men,
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but when they are being appreciative of women in the street, the underlying energy of it was very loving and respectful.
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It wasn't creepy ever. Now, maybe that's because a lot of them are wildly beautiful
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to a degree that doesn't make sense. That's kind of the deciding factor. But you have definitely met and interacted with hot people with terrible vibes.
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That you're like, this person is dangerous. Yeah. So it's possible. But over there it felt like they were like everything was kind of like oh look at you ladies It was that kind of thing where you don normally hear if someone was like saying something about my appearance I be like how about you don talk about my parents and instead you respect my mind or some shit
00:18:06
Yeah. I never said that in my life. Do you think that was the trick of the accent?
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Yes. I think if it's told in the right tone and in Italian, I would appreciate anything anyone says.
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because it has a little bit of a sing-song on it. They literally do put an A at the end of every word
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because that's kind of more like their language, you know? So it's like, would you like a menu?
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Really? Uh-huh. Not that bad, but... No, but that good. A general vibe of... Driving now past what used to be the one-on-one diner,
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Some of our early tuna melts. Yes. The earlier tuna melts that we shared. And now, have you been to the Clark Street Diner?
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It's awesome. I haven't. The food is really fucking good. Like, amazing. One of the early meanings you had with Georgia was there.
00:19:07
That's right. I mean, so much history. A true... They used to have a comedy show there before it was even redone.
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Back when it was still kind of shitty and there was weird curtains and stuff in there.
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that we all would do. I don't know if you lived in LA. No, I didn't. I only remember visiting and doing laundromats with you,
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a series of laundromats. A tradition that I'm glad has disappeared. That was, the laundromat show was so hard and so funny.
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Like, no one did well. Everyone just would get up and eat it while other people tried to ignore them
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while they did their laundry. I had decided to move here and was just visiting. And I felt like I was making a huge mistake.
00:19:52
Because of those shows? Yeah, I was also doing that show with you and CJ Arabia and all.
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And I was nervous. I was nervous for 10 years here every time I got on stage. And now I'm nervous again because I've stopped drinking before every show.
00:20:07
How's that going? It's been going great. I have been wanting to talk to you about it because I didn't go through any sort of program.
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I just kind of stopped. And my brain works better, I think, except that I find that during this recording so far, I have had to search for words.
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So I'm in a little bit of a lull. I feel bored lately. It used to be a reason to do things.
00:20:34
Yeah. But I can tell that my productivity will be up and I feel better about myself.
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And I'm not getting angry. I'm not getting depressed. all those emotions that are depressants surging through your blood yeah and when you're on stage
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do you lose words or no no I don't I feel like I remember all my jokes uh but I yes I am nervous
00:20:57
I have that that new uh feeling or that old feeling of being nervous every time I get on
00:21:03
stage but it's a good it's a good yeah that's energy right yeah it's energy that's like
00:21:08
actually being in your own body. And there was a number of times we recorded this podcast,
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and I would, because I was nervous, I would have a drink or two. I'm going to admit that.
00:21:19
And we're just talking White Claws or something. I wouldn't get hammered like the NASA episode.
00:21:24
But that, in my defense, I was at a party, and I suppose I knew we were podcasting that day,
00:21:30
but it didn't stop me for babbings. Wait, did you say the NASA episode? We drove, and people will remember, in the mountains
00:21:37
and just ended up at a NASA. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yes, I picked you up from Al Madrigal's party.
00:21:44
That's right. Yes, and then we both auditioned to be astronauts. Auditioned. We sang and danced about the moon.
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Do you want us here? We'd be really good on your moon. I'll do anything that doesn't involve meth.
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Anything. Hire me. Oh, look. Wait, this roundabout is new. Oh, we're discovering new things about the town.
00:22:09
What? You know what this means? 80% more accidents, but zero fatalities. That's the story of the roundabout.
00:22:16
Is that true? That's it. In a roundabout way, that is. Sorry. That was a setup. I'm sorry.
00:22:23
That was a beautiful setup, Hunch. Thank you. Thank you. Well, you're welcome from me to you.
00:22:28
Thank you. I actually thought it would get quite the groan. I hear I've made a large error on my first in-car episode.
00:22:36
Oh. I do not think we're in the right place. Oh, I think we are. Are we? Yeah. Wait a minute.
00:22:43
You perhaps are correct. You know what I'm doing? Mm-hmm. I'm going to Laura Milligan's old house.
00:22:52
Do you know Laura Milligan? She might be a pre-you moving here person. Should we just break the news to Margaret and pick up Laura Milligan's?
00:22:59
She doesn't live here anymore. Oh, no. She moves back to San Francisco. Should we break the news to each of them and just pick up whoever lives there?
00:23:06
hello oh oh so i'll just jump on the freeway i missed this chaos we went the wrong way and it
00:23:17
feels great but on at least we're still recording right oh yeah golden that's all we care about
00:23:23
nice okay i stopped for nothing and then we ran over someone so we bringing us back to this
00:23:36
roundabout I mean and it's true they really there's no fatalities here but of course people panic
00:23:43
and they just run into each other yeah but are you making that up no no 80% more accidents
00:23:51
where are you getting this data from the roundabouts of my hometown of Missoula there was a corner where many
00:23:59
and people were hit on bicycles. It started to be called Malfunction Junction. And
00:24:08
I got them quick. And the bikes were just kind of locked to a pole to remind you they were painted white
00:24:17
and it was very sad. And that's where they put Missoula's first roundabout and there has since
00:24:23
there has been no fatalities anymore but people kept crashing because they weren't used to roundabouts.
00:24:29
I think they are now. You know what? I don't think it's a bad thing that our first episode in the car and the inaugural episode of a fourth season.
00:24:37
Am I right? Or am I speaking out of school, out of turn, out of spite? This is season four wheel drive.
00:24:47
I mean, that's great, too. It's one of my favorite, not only in advertising, but with comedy.
00:24:55
It just turns a phrase and it's a fun surprise. Wait, sorry. What are these two people doing? Are they being filmed? There's two people just sitting at a table on the sidewalk.
00:25:06
Yeah, they're looking around like, look at me, look at me. Yeah, that's a reality show. They're on an autistic date.
00:25:14
They're on an autistic date. I love that show. I do too. It makes me nervous, but it makes me cry.
00:25:21
It's so good. It can be most things. But I was going to say this. It's a good thing that this will no doubt be a two-hour episode.
00:25:30
Yes. I think that that's fine. Yes. Well, here's the thing. As a podcast fan myself, when I have a podcast that I've dug into and, like, say I do the dishes in the morning, then I have to stop and go do a meeting.
00:25:43
And I get to go back to the same podcast to go to do. Oh, is that? There's Foothill.
00:25:50
Sorry. My book bag fell everywhere. Where was your arm on that one? I could have used a nice chest caress.
00:25:58
Oh, we aren't doing that windy serpentine. We're going up this blue snake? Here we go.
00:26:04
Oh, boy. Oh, this is like truly some sweet-ass back road shit. We also made the decision of doing this during rush hour.
00:26:13
Yeah. But that's because there's more fodder for conversation. Yeah, I think Rush Hour LA is the pinnacle of Los Angeles living.
00:26:25
Wouldn't you say? Left. Really? Oh, wow, we're doing this. Oh, I'm telling you. When I said blue snake, I meant, look out!
00:26:35
Out of my way! There's a blue snake in my lap. Okay, when I was home, so I flew home from Italy to Petaluma.
00:26:42
I mean, to San Francisco, but ultimately got to Petaluma. Mill Valley. And I was driving with my sister, and there was a guy jogging on the side of the road holding a stick with a big dead snake on it.
00:26:55
That's something I saw as she was dropping me off to come home to L.A. How hilarious is that?
00:27:01
Like, he found this snake, or somebody ran over it, and he was going to keep it.
00:27:06
Maybe he was designing a flag for a society made all of snakes. Oh, keep going. We are doing this.
00:27:14
I swear right now we're in someone's driveway. Yeah, a rich person. Yeah. Yeah. Hello, ding dong.
00:27:22
We're here. I thought you were calling him ding dong. Hello, ding dong. Get in the car.
00:27:32
I don't think I've ever called anyone a ding dong. No, but... How about this person that's on the wrong side of the road,
00:27:39
doing whatever they want. Crime and progress. Whatever, sir. As you were. To the right.
00:27:43
To the right. This is exciting. Yeah, it is. I've never been up here. This, I'm, I really, I have to say again how excited I am for us to be back in the car.
00:27:54
This is, at first I felt like I was nervous almost. Yeah. Like I was doing a new thing.
00:28:01
This seems so, it's just great to be back. Yeah, it really is. And this lady is helping her child.
00:28:09
He's not in the stroller. He refuses to get in the stroller. He wanted to look at a rock, that thing babies love to do.
00:28:15
Yeah, or a snake. They love picking them up. Holding them on a stick. What if there was a baby that was jogging with the snake on a stick?
00:28:21
Look at that cool house. Honk honk, I can see you. Yeah, doing karate in there. Your silhouette.
00:28:27
Hey, Mr. Miyagi. Yeah, it's very Miyagi-like. That looks like a very... Oh, there's a dojo up there.
00:28:34
Wow, there's a lot of nice houses up here. Yeah, that's one thing about driving in this city.
00:28:40
I want to scream, what the hell do you do for a living, to everyone. Yeah. When you first move here, you think, oh, all these houses, it's rich people because they're movie stars.
00:28:49
No. A lot of those movie stars just rent an apartment. Yep. They can't afford it.
00:28:55
These people work on augmenting chins or they get murderers off or, you know, jobs like that.
00:29:05
If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit. Down black oak? I would turn right, yes.
00:29:10
I should be doing this. Yes, you should. And I will now forever. Okay, great. Be your navigator.
00:29:16
Look at this. We're coming up on a park at which you will turn right. Okay. Yeah.
00:29:22
Perfect. We're going to dump out of... Oh, I see where we are. I see where we are, too.
00:29:30
I see more. Oh. Look at this. Great. Oh, wow. We really did circumvent... this is the uh park uh griffith park griffith park yes it is it's a it's a large park there's
00:29:47
uh about three griffith parks in this city and it took me a while to realize they were all one park
00:29:53
yeah you can just approach it from so many different areas there a mountain in the middle as far as i know and uh it a great place to picnic or just hang out in the bush and try and meet new people
00:30:06
Bring that open energy to any kind of a bush or shrubbery. I'm doing it. 2023, this is the year.
00:30:13
Yeah. To leap out and surprise people with my presence in their life. How's your hike?
00:30:18
You yell real loud all at once. That's the thing. I just bit my tongue. I'll try to ignore it.
00:30:24
That's the thing in New York that I didn't expect. I was so sore every single day.
00:30:30
Yeah. Because all you do is ride city bikes and walk and run to trains. And my watch was freaking out.
00:30:37
Like, who is this new? Who are you? Jim Fitz, it said. In case you need a reference that no one.
00:30:42
Jim Fix. He wrote about being healthy and then died. Jim Fix. Jim Fix. Two X's. Really?
00:30:50
He was the jogger guy that died of a heart attack while jogging. Yes, yes. There was a Bill Hicks joke about him dying around the same time as Yul Brynner and the contrast and their lifestyles.
00:31:00
And basically, you should just live your life because they both died. Yeah. Yeah.
00:31:05
So true. But I lost my train of thought. Beautiful park is what I say. Same. If we're going to equate my New York City Italy trip.
00:31:16
Yes. same where Adrienne had her Fitbit and we were walking 20,000 steps a day. Yes.
00:31:25
Because we were just hauling ass all over every city we were in. That's what I heard from my friend who lied about the hot dogs is that they were, and
00:31:35
everywhere, people who were actively eating hot dogs left and right. No, that didn't happen.
00:31:41
So many just ballpark tranks and everyone was like fit. Yes. because there's so much walking.
00:31:50
And I realized not to keep bringing up New York, but I haven't been to Italy and I like to steamroll your possible stories.
00:31:57
I think they really kind of jigsaw puzzle piece very nicely together. Yeah, yeah, because they're both on a grid system.
00:32:09
Also in Italy, I'm going to be the person that talks about Italy for five months after I come back.
00:32:15
but they and also I'm like hey was that person Italian that I just saw standing yeah yeah you
00:32:21
want them to be here I'm like Giacomo ciao ciao um the food there is all so beautifully farm fresh
00:32:29
and whole whole food that you're walking a ton and then you're not eating preservatives and
00:32:35
chemicals and shit that is a huge thing and you can't there's not a lot of processed food
00:32:40
available like there was one store that was almost like a novelty shop of snacks it had some snack
00:32:47
name and that's where all the chips were and other than that the only really like food you had to go
00:32:55
to like a you know a stand or a restaurant or whatever wow there wasn't like it was like
00:33:00
american themed welcome to this heavy breathing americana american that i'd like that my attempt
00:33:09
at the accent to be stricken from the record. I'm sorry. It has to go on the permanent record.
00:33:15
That's just the rules. I wonder if all FR conversions does is make a giant black metal billboard for a bumper.
00:33:24
We'll see. Is that what that is? It's quite the conversion. Do you... Are they trying to keep mud off of their license plate?
00:33:35
The back of this Toyota family wagon has basically a snow plow and that's the conversion but oh the license plate's up there i see yeah i
00:33:45
was about to say you can't cover your license plate like that but it's directly in front of
00:33:50
my face yeah it's it's bright and clearly in sight fr conversions is so distracting that i couldn't spot the license plate that's why they do it so
00:34:02
they can evade the coppers that's the conversion yep that's like it's like james bond style where
00:34:09
it's like right we fucked with your mind now you can't report us do you remember in cannonball one
00:34:14
or two or perhaps it was three whichever one had dom de louise they would they had a car they were
00:34:22
they were driving haphazardly and they were getting pulled over and they had a lamborghini
00:34:27
or something that was yellow and then they pulled over and washed the paint off and then all of a
00:34:31
sudden it was white and then the cops didn't know what to do and then i thought it was a yellow
00:34:36
lamborghini i want it i want to do that in real life except like with a hyper color temperature
00:34:43
triggered uh just so you know my life of crime that's coming up oh yeah the one you're planning
00:34:48
is that also for hot girl summer because i don't know if we can do all those things at once no more
00:34:53
rules and that includes those of the law okay okay the ultimate rule not just societal okay but i am
00:35:00
going to be more open i'm going to take my clothes off more and i'm going to start doing home invasions
00:35:05
thanks to fr conversions yeah thank you fr conversions which is so many free commercials
00:35:13
i hope the people that pay for real ones don't get upset but if if this basically what looks
00:35:19
listener like a black piece of plastic someone shoved up under their back bumper that says fr
00:35:26
conversions at the bottom if that's the advertisement what are they advertising i think
00:35:33
now that i'm looking at it and it's grippy nature that comes out at an angle comes down and becomes
00:35:43
a access ramp oh yeah oh and and we both learn something and and i i appreciate what everything
00:35:53
FR conversions does. Now I understand FR conversions And if you need a ramp on your car that also kind of looks like you could maybe kill people with it
00:36:06
or evade the law. Right. Which I bet you, I bet you people with disabilities or other abilities,
00:36:15
they're sick of just something looking like kind of technical. Yeah. They want something a little sexier.
00:36:21
Yeah. Probably. And that, even though it's out of our lives forever now, it somehow got in some POV lane.
00:36:27
Where the hell did that family go? You know what? They FR converted right the fuck over to the right, and now they're gone.
00:36:34
And we don't remember their license plate. I think there was a two in it. Yeah, we could have read that out loud.
00:36:41
I smell a lawsuit. We should have. We're in, as I mentioned before, that rush hour traffic.
00:36:48
I don't think it's a bad thing. I just, it is something that's happening. It is.
00:36:53
People work. I forget about nine to five jobs, traditional humans. We haven't had to deal with this level of traffic on the show.
00:37:03
Right. In three and a half years. And we used to be really good at it. Need I remind you of the times we used to go to the airport and drop people out?
00:37:12
I cannot believe we ever did that. It was so kind of us. It really was. That's why I say I can't believe it, because we've become so unkind.
00:37:23
The pandemic shrunk our hearts like two grinches. And that's the other thing we're fighting against this summer, is basically the smallness of the pandemic.
00:37:37
Yeah. And I think we're going to get it solved in this traffic. Yeah. Certainly by the end of the episode, we're going to have this everything fixed.
00:37:45
So it's going to be four and a half hours long if this traffic gets any worse. Again, anything, and I'm speaking for myself, when I mention something, there's a lull or I make zero sense, we can just trim that out, right, Aline?
00:37:58
Yeah. That'll be fun. That'll be fun. Editing's fun. It's fine. For some, it's a passion to find the lulls and take them out.
00:38:07
For some, it's a passion. so when you were in New York did you do shows I did and I loved every minute of it I I did you
00:38:22
kill I did I felt great and you know I'm not one to be braggadocious I asked so you had to answer
00:38:29
I really felt like I was doing well and I felt comfortable and I was like well this joke will
00:38:36
work, I'll do this one. And I realized it was just all my favorite jokes were working and all the
00:38:41
ones I've done to be relatable on the road or to get a cheap laugh or involve my passion of
00:38:49
genitalia. None of those needed or they weren't appreciated. People would celebrate the ones that
00:38:55
I liked. And it made me think, man, should I have moved here? Not that I'm living in the past or
00:39:01
having regrets but sometimes i feel like i could have been in new york well it's it's very human
00:39:07
to entertain that idea when you're killing right right it's like but the minute i have four
00:39:13
roommates and we're all in bunk beds and you're hanging your bike from the ceiling yeah that was
00:39:18
something i saw in a brooklyn apartment one time and i was just like guys i don't know if this is
00:39:23
worth it you're hanging a bunch of shit from the ceiling yeah yeah it's like you live on a submarine
00:39:29
Yeah, and I saw a friend that I was golfing with here, and he had moved back to New York, and I said,
00:39:36
Oh, do you golf here? He's like, Oh, no, I'm done doing that. Like, you can't. There are certain things that I would have to sacrifice,
00:39:44
and I don't think I can do that. Yeah, you need to be outside. I do. I'm an outdoorsy guy.
00:39:50
Yeah. The lion needs to get walked. That's right. Or if not, it gets frustrated,
00:39:56
needs to remind folks that he's king of the jungle. I hate to interrupt you, but is that Jim Iroquois?
00:40:03
That's a virtual insanity for you to have said that. That is the, I want that hat.
00:40:09
I love that that person's wearing that hat. Oh, wait, there's another kicky hat.
00:40:14
Look at her. Did you see the woman? Are we in that hat neighborhood? Oh, wow. Yeah, that's more of a...
00:40:21
Oh, we must have just crossed the line into Silver Lake. Here we are. Hi, guys. Silver Lake is the land of hats.
00:40:28
A bunch of 75-year-old women with very hip hats, if it were 1992. Awesome. I love that Jermira Quay.
00:40:38
Am I saying that right? Am I saying that right? Jermira Quay. Anyway, the point is, not drinking makes you a sharp communicator.
00:40:49
Jermira Quay, am I saying that right? Yes, you are. Yes, sir. You are indeed saying it in the whitest way possible.
00:40:57
In the whitest way you could possibly say. I love Jameera Quay. I love how he dances on that conveyor belt.
00:41:04
What if that was you actually channeling the woman who was wearing that hat, and that's what she says all the time.
00:41:10
I love Jameera Quay. And people are like, ma'am, just ring up your stuff at the self-checkout and go.
00:41:17
She only goes because of the conveyor belt. but the time she tried to dance on it was not well received.
00:41:26
We're going to have to call our guest and be like, Hey, so do you actually want to do this two hours after we set the time for?
00:41:32
Yeah. I'm a little nervous because I feel like, uh, today's guest is going to be Margaret Cho.
00:41:39
I'm just going to go ahead and say it. Might as well. She has done so much, uh, that it's hard to believe she isn't, uh,
00:41:46
someone that probably has something else to do today. She absolutely probably does.
00:41:51
But you know, like we were gonna drive her to the market I believe Yes But if we don have enough time we can just drive around with her and be like hey we can get a solid 30 minutes out of you chris and i just put in an hour ourselves so whatever whatever she can
00:42:05
give us we'll take right and if and if even if it's not recording and i'm gonna make this promise
00:42:11
to her even without her even being in the car we will still take her to the market yeah how about
00:42:16
that sure absolutely you've done it already i mean i've uh in a non-podcast environment said
00:42:24
okay I will still there's been times where the recording didn't work out but we still did an
00:42:30
airport drop oh right I think that has happened and I've personally I have picked people up and
00:42:36
they thought it was going to be the podcast and you're like no this is just our friendship I
00:42:42
thought you just wanted a ride why does everyone want something why are you why do you want me to
00:42:49
record you all the time yeah all the time as well you're sleeping to figure out your sleep cycle
00:42:56
okay reason to record someone sleeping oh right to just to see if they have or if they sleep apnea or if they blurred out good ideas in their dreams that you can steal
00:43:07
that was going to be my invention is because i always think of funny good ideas when i'm dreaming
00:43:13
and the minute I wake up, I'm back to my dull day brain. Yeah. So I wanted an apparatus that the minute I woke up,
00:43:21
a pulley system would yank me out of bed, something else like a Rube Goldberg machine,
00:43:26
shoot a pen in my hand, immediate piece of paper, and I would write down jokes. This was an invention.
00:43:32
Give me an example of one of these great ideas. Well, there are so many times that I've woken up
00:43:37
and I'm like, that's such a funny idea, or that's a great idea, or I just dreamt a movie.
00:43:41
and then one minute later, I've forgotten all of it. I do not remember my dreams.
00:43:46
I just don't. And so I thought maybe in that little window of time, if I immediately was able to write,
00:43:54
cell phones have changed it. I got things in my notes. They never make sense. Right.
00:43:58
But I do immediately write them. I mean, because that was what I was going to say.
00:44:03
I remember having, very specifically having a dream, because I do remember my dreams,
00:44:07
and it's all kind of nonsense, But I do remember one time when I very first started stand-up, I think, maybe it was younger.
00:44:15
And I dreamed I was in the Mervins in our town. But I was up on stage in the center of Mervins and I was like doing comedy.
00:44:23
So this was a nightmare. It was. I didn't know yet that that kind of show would be horrible.
00:44:29
And it was in the round, even worse. And I said this thing about penguins and everybody like lost their minds.
00:44:37
And when I woke up, I was like, should I write that down? I'm like, no, it's fucking blather.
00:44:43
That's how dreams work, where you're in a different reality where people would think that was funny.
00:44:48
Yeah, there's only been a handful of times where it actually was a good idea. Usually it's just your brain convincing you it's a good idea.
00:44:56
Yeah. And it's blather. But that's okay. Because then that enables you to go to New York and make it there and make it anywhere.
00:45:04
You know what? People love penguins, Karen. They're funny as hell. They are. They are dressed up for formal events.
00:45:12
They walk hilariously. They have their own books. Was that a sarcastic word? No, I just, I went from what the fuck are you talking about to seeing that perfect little logo.
00:45:32
And then I thought of the shirts and I'm like, do they make those shirts too? Mm-hmm.
00:45:39
Yeah. Penguins. Penguins are super fucking relatable. Yeah. They, uh, it's a rich area.
00:45:45
They love once and, uh, they can't walk backwards and they only love once and never again.
00:45:56
They're loyal and, uh, they're not afraid to stand up for their friends. Oh, really? Yeah.
00:46:04
Oh, if you push a little penguin over, and you will want to, because it's funny to see him fall,
00:46:09
their friends will all gang up. I've seen it in videos. I haven't experienced it.
00:46:16
They will dive in for a friend that falls in the ice. They're very loyal. And you got all of this from your friend, Mr. Popper?
00:46:26
Yes. Dr. Pimple Popper. He, his side interests, his penguins. And yeah, I get most of my stories from the doctor.
00:46:39
From that guy. The good doctor. When we pick up Margaret in the morning, do you think we should offer breakfast?
00:46:47
We're just rolling along at this, as Meryl Streep said, a glacial pace here. Just, I mean, we're at the height of LA traffic, 4.48 p.m.
00:46:59
Everybody's out looking around Everybody knows it's hot girl summer You can tell the energy from these cars
00:47:06
Yeah Everybody's got their eyes peeled They are just so horny Ciao Bella, they all say
00:47:13
Is that Italian? It's Italian And it means What does it mean? Put it together You know what ciao means
00:47:23
Goodbye And? Bella? I'm guessing your name is Bella? I don't know No, I don't know what Bella means
00:47:35
Chow is a little bit of an aloha for Italy It's hello and goodbye Although I learned
00:47:42
That they don't say it as much as Americans Say it to them But Chow Bella means Hello beautiful
00:47:49
Oh, okay You're right, I should know that Because of my niece, her name is Bella
00:47:55
Oh, really? Isabella, which means is a beautiful . Oh, God, you know I've enjoyed myself on that loving self-snort.
00:48:06
Rears its ugly giant nostrils. I'm sorry, but thank you. So we're going to want to get in these right lanes.
00:48:16
You already know that. I do. I feel like people obey this car. Kind of. It's a little bit like you have to fight your way in.
00:48:27
Well, you're doing a great job. Thank you. Oh my gosh, your little map has other little cars.
00:48:33
Yeah. It's like Frogger. Yeah. But no frogs. It's like, don't go over there. Oh, they're going to hit.
00:48:39
Do what? Oh, we're turning right? Or are we getting on the freeway? We're getting on the entrance of the freeway.
00:48:45
Yeah, the I-5, which is up ahead a little bit. Oh. Yeah. So we don't have to go over there.
00:48:50
We have to go 5 south. Yeah. Oh. That's 5 north up there. Motherfucker. So roll down your window and put your arm out.
00:48:57
Okay, I will do that. say can we get over can we get in there hi they have tinted windows I don't know if they were open
00:49:06
or receptive hi oh no no they are not open or receptive hi thank you thank you so much
00:49:12
I find that if I just say hi over and over smiling like ridiculous that car didn't know
00:49:21
what we wanted or needed at all it was not within the the confines of the law, that shade of tint was way too dark.
00:49:32
They couldn't see out. Yeah. And God knows what they were doing in there. And so I'm going to take a left after this light.
00:49:39
Yes. We're going to cross under Hyperion. Okay. And then take an immediate left.
00:49:44
Perfect. South on the, uh, to pick up our, yes. It's literally going to be dark when we get to our house.
00:49:51
It's okay. It's, it's, it's, it's, we've, we've had some time off. We've had some time off and we didn't.
00:50:00
It's okay. We'll get better at that. Hopefully our friend, Margaret, who we've known for a very long time.
00:50:05
You've known her very well. She's a new friend? Yes, I hope. I think so. She is such an icon in comedy that she's someone I am nervous around,
00:50:20
much like I am when I meet a pro skateboarder I look up to her. But most comics, it isn't that way anymore.
00:50:27
You know? Yeah. But with Margaret, it is that way. And that, of course, is a compliment.
00:50:33
She is the kind of person that'll be like, you know, if she can't, if it doesn't work for her, she'll let us know.
00:50:39
Okay. And she mostly probably doesn't care. Right. I would imagine. Yeah. Especially because she knows me and I'm the kind of person that's like, hey, I went to your old house.
00:50:48
And she's like, uh-huh. Because that's the kind of thing I do. And now we're just getting right onto the 5 South to complete gridlocked traffic.
00:51:00
Oh, man. Oh, the big old jacked up trucks letting me in. That's interesting. Yeah, that's not Northern California bro behavior.
00:51:09
Normally those guys try to shoot at you. Yeah, it's a shame that I think that of trucks now, but I do.
00:51:16
Like, that is a jacked up truck. There's a firearm and the guy's socks are going to be pulled up to his knees.
00:51:23
Yeah. Although, socks to the knees, that's also skateboard behavior, isn't it? I know. It's a fine line.
00:51:29
You know, it depends on the foot. That's when I have to investigate the footwear.
00:51:35
And then what does the footwear tell you? Cowboy boots with tall socks? Yes. Then you know you're in danger.
00:51:41
No, that's someone that shouldn't be operating a motor vehicle. If you have cowboy boots with socks,
00:51:48
well, maybe that's just a cowboy on summer. On summer? A hot cowboy on summer? I've been thinking about getting boots.
00:51:58
I was in Austin and I did look at some. I'm glad I didn't pull the trigger on them.
00:52:04
As a person with wide feet, I can't consider that they're just not for me. Yeah, it's one of those shoes like a croc where someone says, oh, they're so comfortable.
00:52:14
I'm like, in spite of them not being comfortable, they're surprisingly comfortable.
00:52:19
They somehow are defying the laws of physics and being comfortable? Comfortable if the heel's made of a block of wood.
00:52:27
Also, it's like, I get, they're comfortable if you are a cowboy that does a certain job.
00:52:34
Right. Ma'am, what are you doing? She's just preparing for the inevitable merge.
00:52:42
When? Go now. Go now. There she is. There she is That is a 17 year old Kays bug Oh wow Or an 80 year old It helps when you looking for your car in a parking lot I used to write my name on my underwear
00:53:00
So you could find them in a parking lot? Yeah, yeah. A lot of times that's where I wake up.
00:53:05
Chances are all evidence points. That's where my underpants are. Where am I? And then you check the underpants band and you're like,
00:53:14
Chris Fairbanks, doing fine. Yeah, it's like memento. Everything I need to know about myself is in my underpants.
00:53:26
I've always said that since I was a child. In Italy, do they drive on the opposite side of the road?
00:53:32
Is that a dumb question? They don't. It's not a dumb question. It was a smart question.
00:53:36
Yeah, because I assume. We all had the same question. And then we were very grateful that it was the correct side of the road
00:53:43
because we didn't think we could take the fear element of the style of driving combined with being on the other side of the road.
00:53:51
Right, yeah. I mean, I've talked about it a million times, but the time I had to drive in a commercial on the wrong side of the road
00:53:59
and added to that were old men on bicycles and sheep and very narrow roads, like you said.
00:54:05
And yes, it's a one-lane road everywhere in England. and in italy there's lots of bicyclists so like say we went to lake como and it's real windy windy
00:54:18
windy seems like it's a one-way street then there's like a pod of bicyclists on the side
00:54:25
so the driver gets over and then a car's just coming straight at him also they do a lot of
00:54:29
passing on windy mountain roads just blind like curve passing oh that scares me it's scary
00:54:37
It's real scary. But then you've got this, a kind of Italian Statham-esque driver,
00:54:44
like the one I told you about, that can text and drive and stick shift at the same time.
00:54:47
Did he look like Jason Statham? He had the vibe of Jason Statham. Oh, I want to be over there.
00:54:53
And I don't want to be killed. But watch this. You're doing, oh, God, this car's got some get-up and pep, doesn't it?
00:55:00
Oh, look at these guys. Wow, they don't care. Totally not allowed. No, they're just in the gravel.
00:55:04
This way, right? North? Yes. Yeah. okay I'm no help I'm so sorry that's all right uh no you're doing the more confirming after the
00:55:14
fact yes yes I'm just yes anding I it's funny that Lake Cuomo I did not I do not think of Italy
00:55:23
I think of Perry Cuomo so I just doesn't I when you said Lake Cuomo I just think of upstate New
00:55:30
york or something and uh is there another lake quote very am i saying that yes white
00:55:36
it's uh perry como it's it's andrew and his brother whatever cuomo yes you're right about
00:55:46
the state of new york and cuomo but in italy it's como or like the lake is como c-o-m-o you had me
00:55:53
with i'm right about the one in new york because i know i pulled that state out of my ass hat
00:55:57
Good job. Okay, tell me the exit now. We stay on the Glendale Freeway for 4.4 miles.
00:56:05
Oh, great. I'm going to haul ass up here. Yeah. Boy, this car's got some pep in its step.
00:56:12
Yeah. And there's your old car. Yeah, there it is. Chase your memories. Look at this lunatic.
00:56:19
Like, speeding and braking. Sir. I mean, I... Sir, what are you doing? Yeah. Yeah, that's like double footing. You can't be double footing.
00:56:30
Don't double foot. Not in front of me. Oh, you're good at driving. Smooth transition into lanes.
00:56:38
Right. You drive with purpose and I feel safe. Okay, good. And I'm not being sarcastic.
00:56:46
Okay, good. Yes. This is a real adventure. This is a true kickoff episode one season four wheel drive.
00:56:54
This is what I needed. There's rarely times where I feel anxious or like I'm going to screw up when we're doing it over Zoom, which just makes for better storytelling.
00:57:09
And that's what we're here to do. We're here to tell a story. We're the succession of podcasts.
00:57:14
Yeah, we really are. And this is not our grand finale. Quite the opposite. The premiere of season four, we'll try.
00:57:24
four-wheel drive oh enjoyable did you stay in the same place the whole time you're in Italy no we went to we were in four different places so we went to
00:57:37
Tuscany we went to Florence we went to Cinque Terre on the coast and then we went to Lake Como at the end Oh man I bet it beautiful It is I would like a slideshow on the projector Okay
00:57:49
That I know you own. Not because of Mac and Me. That was the old one. But it's been replaced with a newer model.
00:57:55
I was sent one, but I don't have any white walls to screen my own Mac and Me. Oh, that's right. That would be really funny if I invited people over to show them my vacation pictures.
00:58:06
I think you should. style it's something that people it used to be a joke like oh no we have to see the slides
00:58:12
like that was something as a child there would be fondue and my parents would actually show slides
00:58:20
i don't know where all these photos have gone because i don't even know what i look like
00:58:24
as a child anymore i think they probably donated them all to like very sought after
00:58:31
my child photos especially the ones with later hosen god i was a cute kid there were there's a
00:58:38
guy on tiktok that goes and finds people's old vacation um slides and then puts the slides
00:58:44
together on tiktok which i think is awesome and because someone offered to find my crosswalking
00:58:52
uh i i already searched so i know they're very difficult to find but someone did offer to
00:58:59
research and find through microfiche, I guess, newspaper stuff old photos. Oh, that's good.
00:59:07
Is it starting to rain a little? Ooh, we're getting some weather. Ooh. You've been driving so long
00:59:13
the weather changed. Yeah. I did want this podcast. The one thing that was missing was possibly
00:59:19
slippy streets. And by that I mean slippery. Yeah. Oh, we got a case of slippy streets.
00:59:27
uh-oh uh-oh be careful he's gonna say it a third time slippy streets my favorite
00:59:38
certain words just have a nice cadence slippy streets is one jamira quay is another
00:59:45
yes oh god that was a beautiful hat what was that, a kangle? it looked like a furry kangle
00:59:52
wonder if I could get away with that a lavender furry kangle That woman was doing it, right?
00:59:59
You know that she loves that hat. And I wish we had been on foot so we could go,
01:00:02
great hat, because she'd be like a woman in Arthur. Oh, I know. I've heard. Is that a line in Arthur?
01:00:11
Yeah, he's drunk and he's about to say he and Susan will not be getting married.
01:00:16
He was just beat up by Susan's father. And he didn't know what to say. He felt awkward.
01:00:23
Everyone's staring at Arthur and he's limping and bloodied. And there is a lady with a floppy hat that she was already complimented by the great Liza Minnelli.
01:00:32
Yeah. And so just back to back compliments on this floppy hat. And she was just elated. So my point is always compliment.
01:00:43
Oh, yeah, that's right. Ladies hat because they're going out on a limb. It's like I'm going to wear my fun hat. Yeah.
01:00:50
I hope someone reminds me I'm fun. Do it. And also, I think these days, you know, trends come big, bold, and you might find yourself wearing a like a bolero in the middle of the day.
01:01:04
It does feel pretty risky. Like you think it's a good idea because it's what everyone else in social media is doing.
01:01:11
Yeah. Then you're just out and about with like a big old wide brim hat on. Yeah.
01:01:16
And a lot of times, and I've done this myself, like someone will have a loud, complicated shirt.
01:01:22
And I'm like, great shirt, when I really don't think so at all. I just know they went out on a limb.
01:01:28
They're like, I'm going to wear my shirt with purple and mustard. Yeah. You're saying great idea to risk it.
01:01:36
Yes. I'm supporting your freedoms. But boy, you have bad taste. I leave that part out.
01:01:43
I'm supporting your freedoms. Your varied freedom. Oh, we have a 387, 142. Oh, God, we got to turn on the scanner.
01:01:55
That would add to the chaos. I'm going to drive by this guy real fast. Oh, and this guy, he's evading.
01:02:00
I believe we're, no, he's just pulling over in an orderly fashion. But at first it looked like an evasion.
01:02:09
Oh, they don't have to pull over. That's just a college campus cop. Nope. Community, yep.
01:02:14
Glendale community college cop. You don't even need to pull over for those guys.
01:02:18
What did that girl do? Go and be, oh. Oh, this is the Glendale Community College.
01:02:25
It is, she was doing Glendale Community College stuff, probably looking at her notes on her phone.
01:02:30
She studying for a test while driving He like I know you You have some library books that are overdue Yeah Yeah Put your hands on the hood A lot of people forget that a jailable offense
01:02:44
Do you know that when I was little, I checked out like eight encyclopedia Brown books
01:02:48
and then I didn't return them and I knew they were overdue. And then I just put them in the
01:02:52
back of my closet and never told anybody. And they stayed there for months. And my mom's like,
01:02:57
What was the plan here? Like, why wouldn't you just tell me and we would go to the library?
01:03:02
Were you at an age where you didn't realize you were costing her money? Um, yes.
01:03:09
Young enough to not understand the fines. But also, I think it's a good reflection of how my sister and I were often left to our own devices
01:03:17
to fix things that were actually adult-level problems. Right, right. So then it was like, oh shit, I can't get to the library and I don't have the money to pay for this.
01:03:26
so I'm just going to hide the books. Yeah, yeah. I had a roommate that if a pot or a pan got burnt or was uncleanable,
01:03:35
he'd just put it in our clothes washer. And then you'd find it later with Last of Us mold on it.
01:03:46
But when you said Encyclopedia Brown books, I thought Brown encyclopedias, but Encyclopedia Brown was a child sleuth.
01:03:56
Yes, a real smart boy that just kind of knew trivia stuff, and that would help him solve mysteries around town.
01:04:08
Oh, really? Yeah, really. Oh, really? Well, I was thinking trivia. It's not like, where is Lake Cuomo? And then he's like, the murder weapon is here.
01:04:19
He's like, it's Lake Cuomo. Oh. I should, all these childhood books, I never even read back then.
01:04:33
You didn't? No. Too cool? Yeah, for school. And there was a lot of reading at school.
01:04:40
Yeah. I wanted to stay cool. Yep. And so I didn't. You said fuck it. Yeah. Okay.
01:04:46
But still got ease. a lot of people had did you have E's? E's for excellent? E-S and U for unsatisfactory
01:04:57
no that sounds like some Montessori bullshit yeah it does yeah yeah it really does we created
01:05:04
our own lesson plans lesson plans I hope that cop isn't going to pull me over no we're driving
01:05:12
like community college kids okay now we just go all straight down the street Now I know where I am.
01:05:20
Yeah, we used to drive in this neighborhood too. Yeah. It's the only way I see the city I live in is through this podcast.
01:05:29
And so it's great that we're back in the car. Yeah, it is. It is. It's going to make me appreciate where I live.
01:05:36
It's right up that road. Okay. So should we tell her we're here? Yes. Somehow? Yeah.
01:05:41
Annalise is on it. I don't have the case. It would be so funny if Margaret came out with like old age makeup on.
01:05:49
That's just what she's doing with her time waiting. Oh, look at her old timey mailbox.
01:06:00
So cool. Well, should we practice our apologies on each other? Yeah. Okay. Hey, I'm so sorry.
01:06:08
Chris and Annalise got to my house and I was blow drying my hair, which is a classic move of mine.
01:06:14
So you're going to take ownership? Yeah. That doesn't, mine doesn't work because I was going to blame it on you.
01:06:22
I had, I had a court, a jury duty. Yep. That I'm going to use that. You had it like this morning.
01:06:35
Oh, wow. It's a nice house. Oh, yeah. She has a beautiful home. It is beautiful.
01:06:43
And, well, there she's coming down the walk. Yay. Wearing a long gray wig. This has been an Exactly Right production.
01:07:01
Produced by Annalise Nelson. Mixed by Edson Choi. Our talent booker is Patrick Kottner.
01:07:07
Theme song by Karen Kilgareff. Artwork by Chris Fairbanks. Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at Dynar Podcast.
01:07:15
That's D-Y-N-A-R podcast. For more information, go to exactlyrightmedia.com. Thank you.
01:07:22
Oh, you're welcome.